Marketing & Mayhem
Two gals talking marketing, life, and all the mayhem in between.
Marketing & Mayhem
Rolling with My Homies: A Love Letter to Tina Turner
“What’s love got to do with it”? … and where’s Tina Turner when you need her? And - what’s an “attachment style”? Does it matter, and why? To be honest with you, we couldn’t tell you but we plan to find a guest who can help us unpack this trendy little term, further. In the meantime though we give it our best shot, from first dates to a fear of love bombing. Are diamonds really a girls best friend (yes, the answer is yes).
We head to chat gpt to unpack the styles - and land somewhere between anxious avoidant, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment. Between gps and location tracking, dates, crime and murder mysteries - our wheels are really turning today. Speaking of - what’s on your nightstand reads right now? Is everyone reading crime books for q1 … what’s that saying? In like a lion - out like a lamb … did we make that up?
Link to a free quiz coming - as promised ! But we still haven’t found we love - so in true mayhem style … if you have one, more info, or you’re an expert - reach out! We want to go down this rabbit hole with you!
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Hosted by @raebecca.miller and @jennyfromthe843
rolling, rolling, rolling with my homies you remember clueless.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, I was gonna do um proud mary, but all right. Yeah, you remember rolling? With the homies you remember I just like love tina turner. I mean, how do you not, I know, but she was like, um, that was like a big thing for us. I like freaking love tina turner. Simply the best was our high school senior like theme oh, that's a good one.
Speaker 2:So I have to ask you I have slept with the scar tape on for two nights. Do I look younger?
Speaker 1:I mean, you look beautiful, let's start there.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Nate was like your skin looks so glowy. I was like I'm ovulating.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's what it is. I need to ovulate right now. My skin is not looking glowy. I feel personally victimized by this cold snap.
Speaker 2:Dude it is not well, I need some sunshine.
Speaker 1:I feel like I have jowls right now.
Speaker 2:I'm like what is happening to my skin. What you are not. You are bananas.
Speaker 1:I can tell that my Botox is gone. So how are you? Goodness gracious, great balls of fire. So I just want to check. This is like we're going to call this one a temperature check. Is February shooting you out of a cannon, but not in a productive or monetary way. I'm like, is this necessary? Like does it have to be so rough? Like? I saw this meme the other day that was like dear Lord. When I said rough, I meant man, but I didn't mean like my whole life.
Speaker 2:You do know that we said this about January too.
Speaker 1:January, though, for me was like slow. I mean, it was like intense, but slow. You called it a slow burn. This one feels like I don't know, I feel unwell.
Speaker 2:I feel like, specifically this week, I am prioritizing myself, which I don't do. I know like I've been working out a lot and eating better and sleeping better and all the things, and like yesterday, I was like I need to sit down and work and I was like you know what? No, I'm going to go get another workout in. And so I did some Peloton and Pilates and some core and I felt better for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's the yesterday. I worked way too much, which is a weird thing to say, but I literally got up early. It was behind a computer by seven, 30 after drop off and it kept going until almost 10 o'clock last night and I was like I'm getting waterboarded right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't love that. I mean I am here for work, but I mean I work a good bit on the weekends and nights and all, but just for some reason this week I'm just not really feeling it. And I'm just so. I said, you know, I'm going to work out and I'm going to take the good girl shower and just while my hair's down. I love it, yeah, so, but yes, I love it.
Speaker 1:there's science. You guys don't have to tell us like, yes, you do actually. No, I'm telling you right now, I get energy from the sun and I'm missing it. Right now this I feel personally victimized by this current weather. You're solar powered. Yes, I'm solar powered. You are.
Speaker 2:I really am. Well, and I think, just so everybody knows this has been one overcast super rainy. Just very, cuddle up and watch Love is Blind, season eight, which I'm not loving it, not loving it at all.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of predatory people.
Speaker 2:I just don't like the people this time and I think, because I'm so jaded because now I'm like I don't know if they really love the other people, Because I feel like it's more of let's just get engaged, we can go on this trip and get Insta famous. So I'm kind of I'm really I'm jaded this season.
Speaker 1:I don't even love. Love is Blind, we know this. But I started watching it because I needed something. I needed, I really need to just find a book. My friend Myra was like I need a new book. I am writing, I needed a brain book.
Speaker 2:Is it a slow burn, though? No, I'm not reading any smut. I just finished Frida McFadden. I was in the mood for a little murder. Frida McFadden, the Boyfriend Dude. It's about this girl who is dating in New York, and I was reading it, which is probably why I was very concerned about you the other night.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, are we talking about that?
Speaker 2:on the air, we can talk about it on the air, or we don't have to talk about it on the air, but I'm going to need you to read this book because I feel like it's gotten in my head.
Speaker 1:It's a good book. I'm never going to gotten in my head. It's a good book. I'm never going to tell you when I'm going on a date again. No don't, you can't handle it.
Speaker 2:No, I can't handle it.
Speaker 1:Let's like. I was like I this is so and I love you, so I don't mean anything by this, but I was like this is so out of control for everybody involved. Yes, and this cannot be a thing.
Speaker 2:But to be clear, I have been like this, to be clear, you found me a half mile from where I live.
Speaker 1:Correct, still eating dinner.
Speaker 2:Yes, Correct, I live. Correct, still eating dinner? Yes, correct. But in my defense, I have been like this forever. You can ask any of my girlfriends in college. I just and I blame all of the weird shit that I read and I watch and I understand but then you've got multiple other victims, a hundred percent. I will APB that shit if I need to Like. Don't even think I'm above doing a wellness checkup. I got one person On your door.
Speaker 1:Who's getting Instagram phone calls at work?
Speaker 2:Don't even Don't put it past me Seriously, I blame books like Freedom McFadden's the Boyfriend.
Speaker 1:I'm going to make Nate take away your Freedom.
Speaker 2:McFadden's, I was like I don't tell me, just don't tell me, I do.
Speaker 1:No, I needed to talk to you, though, so that's the whole thing. I like actually had this other situation that I needed to talk to you about, and then last minute, I went on a date that like Ooh, just was like the perfect storm, I guess. But, like I literally said in the, we were FaceTiming while you were making dinner and I was like and you're like you should go Totally, you're not doing anything else, and then proceeded to literally spin yourself in a full tail, for sure, a hundred percent.
Speaker 2:I thought you were in somebody's basement which I don't even think we have in Charleston.
Speaker 1:Finally, gets my location from a third party. Sure, do Exactly where.
Speaker 2:I said I would be, I will find you people, you don't have to look. I was exactly where I said I would be. Jesus, help me, lord. I'm not. I'm really.
Speaker 1:I'm concerned for myself when my daughter starts dating I think that maybe it just maybe put me as clark's like backup emergency gun, maybe so, maybe so, and I'll be like she hasn't moved. Be grateful that I was that concerned I think you should be grateful that I was on a date and exactly where I said I was going to be, and I was enjoying myself.
Speaker 2:Totally. But I mean you are someone let's just set the record straight, someone who is on her phone a good bit, but when you're not, I'm like APB.
Speaker 1:But I took my watch off. So this is partially because I took my watch off, because I think it's this weird construct around keeping people small. We can go there too. I think it keeps people small. So and I'm not saying that I'm not judging anybody Like you can wear your watch. I love that for you. I can give the brief of it. I know when I do a run that 100 calories is approximately a mile, but I also know that I don't need to be counting my calories or my workout minutes or any of that. I needed to get out of gold star culture a little bit, and if you love a gold star, I get it. I'm a gold. I am a good girl through and through, which is why I needed to take the watch off, because if I start earning these, I love my watch. No, I know Everyone does so does Whitney, but for me I was like these are these arbitrary gold stars and I'm right and it goes right for the dirt every freaking time I'm on the thing.
Speaker 2:She just wants attention.
Speaker 1:I for the dirt every freaking time I'm on the thing. She just wants attention. I just beeped the shit out of her. She's like I'm actually going to go on the couch and lay down. I don't think I want to play that game today. She literally just ran in here and got right up on her spot and put her head down. I was like mm-hmm. Thanks Thank you to Kate who told me to get the beeper. We're doing great. We've only had to have have three full zaps, and one was actually an accident and I felt like a dick about it. I bent over and it was in my pocket and I could tell by the way she moved. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't ever buzz Tani because I feel bad.
Speaker 1:Nope. So, anyways, I needed to get rid of some of these, especially in the divorce, these arbitrary gold stars, I don't know. In the meantime, I also was trying to be more present with my kids and my friends. I love that for you, right? Well, and before that, I felt very like this anxious pulled energy because it would just keep going off. It would go off in my workout, it would go off in my day, we would be at lunch and it would go off, and then people always check it. And now I notice when I'm with people that they're always checking it.
Speaker 2:I watch people check it, even in yoga, and I'm like I once knew someone who went like this when he got a text oh, gave you the finger to pause. Yes, Gave me the finger to like pause.
Speaker 1:Oh, like. So that, to me, is like that's the perfect, most extreme example where it's like hold on, I'm made this time for you, but there's actually this thing that might be potentially more important. So just everyone like, hit pause for me, I hate it. So then, and you're used to me being on a computer and my, I actually don't lock my phone. We know this when I'm like in my house on the daily, because it's just me like who am I going to lock it? For my other coworkers One of them just learned how to read and, second of all, they know not to go near my phone, because now my phone's crazy, right, but I had it face up, I just was not paying any attention to it. And I look, I go to the bathroom I still not paying attention, because I actually really had to pee and I'm washing my hands and I turn it over and it's got like 29 things and I don't, I don't even know actually where to start, because now it's now I've it's like a novel.
Speaker 2:It's like where do I, where do I go, where?
Speaker 1:do I go?
Speaker 2:there's multiple people involved, like this is a thing Like I'm sorry, I dated for a bit and this is what you did. You have like a touch point check-in, like hey, we hadn't set that so like I would have set an alarm.
Speaker 1:You know I have this ADHD. I would have set an alarm and been like you would have set an alarm. I would have literally, quite literally cause. This is how I stay present I set alarms. And I would have set an alarm that would be like I didn't even realize what time it was.
Speaker 2:Alarm name. Let Jenny know I'm alive.
Speaker 1:Yes, I say alarm, like most bananas alarm names all the time, but they are actually exactly what I need to do and it would have gone off and I would have been like, oh my gosh, I did not realize it's 8.30. We've been here for 90 minutes. How fun. I actually need to let the girls know, and I do tell them that I am like literally like hey, I'm being tracked, I can't hang out with you in the parking lot or whatever it is.
Speaker 2:That was no, it was more of a wellness check. It was not I know, but I couldn't even figure out where to start.
Speaker 1:And then there was like a gymnast. There's a gymnastic situation last week, which, thank God, I wasn't at gymnastics, but it created like chaos, extracurricular chaos, and so do you, do you like a group chat?
Speaker 2:I feel like you're on a lot of them. Do you like a group chat?
Speaker 1:I don't feel strongly, but I also we know this about me I turn off almost everybody's alerts, literally hide alert, hide alert, hide alert, hide alert. The gymnastics ones keep my brain straight. I can't imagine trying to do this without the group. There's no way. I can't imagine trying to do this without the group. There's no way. There's like themes, leotard themes for the week. Sometimes there's themes for the meets we have to like, and then the meet times change and then it's like sometimes some of the moms will offer to do like the special braiding and hair. I just, I know I choose my participation level, but I don't mind a group chat. I learn all kinds of crazy stuff. I have a group of friends whose kids are a little bit older than in high school.
Speaker 1:I learned so much on that group chat, interesting About school Love, about like what's actually, because a few of them are teachers so they know like the insider knowledge, whether it's like snow days or whatever. If there's a police chase going down 17, are someone that's gonna figure out why they like alert people. If there's like cops hiding in the bushes, they're like oh, little speed trap heads up. I'm like I love this freaking chat, like I. I mean, yeah, it's freaking obnoxious, but I but I do turn all of my alerts off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm alert for everything.
Speaker 1:I know, and I think that's like the watch right. I don't have notifications on any of my apps either, not on Instagram, not Hinge.
Speaker 2:I turned mine off on Instagram because I think you did that for me actually.
Speaker 1:Because it will make you crazy.
Speaker 2:It'll make you crazy. Well, I just like having a clean screen, like no red and it's that good girl I know like I see I have some. Well, to me it's like the type a. It makes my eye twitch. My dad having 52 000 unread emails. I'm like, oh my God, how do you do that?
Speaker 1:But then if you just turn off the notification, that goes away. I do let our work email, let me know what's going on, but that's the only one.
Speaker 2:I will say the only I do turn my phone on. Sleep at nine o'clock at night, every night, from nine until seven.
Speaker 1:No, I can't do that because I like don't know if somebody will need me. Well, it's weird, it's like a whole I don't even know how we got. So we started with the watch situation, so we got to, we got to work our way backwards. So next time I will set an alarm.
Speaker 2:I'm just don't know.
Speaker 1:Just talk to me afterward. Unfortunately, that's just like not how it works, because we literally were on. We were on a phone call because I had a girl situation, which we won't go fully into your opinion, because I value your opinion about what's interesting for me this is the part I'm going to share is like I had a period there where I kept things very close to me, like everything, whether it's from my friends or my family, like it was really important for me to figure it all out completely on my own. And something has happened in the last, I would say, just 13 months, and I don't know if it's the podcast full or if it's just a weird like perfect witches brew mixture, but I no longer have that at all. So I'm hoping we actually sort of like go up right here pretty soon and we kind of find a better like median, but I don't see it coming.
Speaker 1:So now, instead of keeping this to myself, I go to every one of my counselors, my like you know, like in the Godfather, where they sit around the table and they have the heads of the families. I do value everyone's opinion and everyone comes to the table with different opinions and I no longer just pick the one that suits me. I like actually care about sounding things out. So I had this situation last week. I had to go to the heads of the families and I had to figure out where we were on this, but it gives me a very Godfather vibe, right Like I got to talk to the heads of the families.
Speaker 1:So, we were talking about this.
Speaker 2:We were.
Speaker 1:Yep, we were having a glass of wine. We were on FaceTime. I asked if you had time to like catch a drink out and it just wasn't going to work. But I was like let's just pour one at home in our pajamas. Let's work through this. It's the heads of the families. It's the heads of the family.
Speaker 2:So how are you? Do you want to get any of that?
Speaker 1:Well, it was more just this idea that like I literally like, if people I'll say this much, if you're ever confused about where I stand you weren't listening and I think I can say that with the most the utmost honesty Like I would not say that any of my friends are very confused about where I stand on most things. And I don't mean like politics. I literally mean about like life things. Like if you have confusion, you can just ask. I literally mean about like life things. Like if you have confusion, you can just ask you could listen to the podcast.
Speaker 1:We talk about everything from how we feel about like I mean, sometimes I like last night I was doing the caption and I had said that thing about how Superbowl performers don't get paid, and I was like Dean, I really hope I wasn't just running my mouth. I believe that it was actual information. But now I need to fact check myself and sure enough, it was true and I put the information in the caption. But you know, like I don't just like talk, to talk Like I I don't know, I don't know. I just I'm going to tell you quite frankly, honestly, whatever it is, or I'll sort it out with you or I'll sit down to coffee or wine or lunch and talk about all the things, but like if you're so confused at the end, like you just weren't listening, I'm just saying I have this theory that you are a different version of yourself and everybody's head, oh yeah, like the way I interpret you and see you is completely different than Taco Bell, then summer, then other people in your life.
Speaker 2:Like you know, we all have these different versions and probably none of them match. You know what I mean. So I feel what percentage do you think?
Speaker 1:is the same, because I would venture to say over 50. I think there's a part that has, like, some flex and flow. But because the interpretation is based on your innate sense of yourself, correct your own. Yeah, I totally understand.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and just even where you are that day, right, I mean, I can be in a pissy mood and you say something, and it could be a text that you say to me on another day and it makes me cry one day. I mean, not that this has happened, but it makes me cry one day. It doesn't make me cry another because I'm in a different head space. So there's just, and again. I'm going to keep going back to this. Let them book. We have no control, no control over how anybody perceives us, talks about us, feels about us, us talk about us, feels about us. But at the end of the day, you know you and the people who love you know you and F everybody else.
Speaker 1:That's where I'm at. Yeah, no, I totally get that, I just think I think, because there was such a deep period of isolation, I feel this like, um, I do like talking through things. I definitely am like, and I and some of it might even be like borderline obsessive. Well, we can own that where I'm like I gotta have like my you know, like I just, if I'm not done with it, I'm not done with it, and it has nothing to do with like anything other than like hey, it's still on heart and so I'm actually not done with it. Right, and as much as I want to be done with it, it's still on my heart, and so, as much as I want to be able to walk away or ignore things. I definitely got really good at completely disassociating, yeah, and now I'm like in the opposite place where I'm like, nope, I'm actually still holding on to it, so we actually have to talk about it again and I'm so sorry for everyone this involves, but like we're not done yet.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:It sucks, but I also have a deep appreciation for like giving myself grace for the fact that I would have never been able to do that two years ago, to do that two years ago, and that I like my circle and trust my circle enough to be like, hey, while this has nothing to do with you, I'm still not comfortable with it and I need to talk about it one more time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I just we just have to be careful who's in that circle.
Speaker 1:That's all I'm saying. No, yeah, I agree for sure, and I like to be friendly. Who's in that circle? That's all I'm saying. Oh, yeah, I agree for sure, and I like to be friendly with everyone. We know this um, but some of it's even like it's back to the dating thing. So, like I mean, right, that's the beauty of hinge, you get a little bit of information. Height, astrology, sign. Kids are not. It's still their version of themselves, and I give you guys the pieces and all the screenshots. So, in case I end up in a suitcase, you know we've got like some google imagery we can go off of um, which we're obviously using.
Speaker 2:I have you're my google listen, let me tell you something. If you want anybody on your case, if something were to happen to you, it would be me. I mean, let's just be real though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I know. Well, it's you and like two other people, I'm like y'all these screenshots.
Speaker 2:We could rule the world.
Speaker 1:I'm never just showing up on my own without people knowing my exact location.
Speaker 2:How much you sold your house for. We know all of this.
Speaker 1:I know your job I know you on linkedin.
Speaker 2:I went to college. I know who's referred you on linkedin. Yes, yeah, come at me, come at me.
Speaker 1:Some people call it crazy, I'm calling curious at the end of the day, though, I'm never just showing up like I. I gotta give the information to the people, just in case. Uh, it stresses everyone out, though, even my mom, apparently. My mom also like reached out to Whitney when she saw the Instagram jokes about like me being like lost and then found and was like thanks, and I'm like I wasn't lost, though like I'm like mom, it's really not. You know, like there's everyone just so uncomfortable with it. I was at loss, like I didn't, like I wasn't in Vegas, and then I ended up in the desert Like but did you die?
Speaker 2:Like I was exactly where I said I would be. I feel like Vegas would have been a fun little date. I can barely make it a half a mile down the road. Are you kidding me right now? Like what a lie. I don't know if you texted me. You're like, hey, I'm on a pj, headed to Vegas, and be like, oh, okay share your location immediately goes to google. Why would you do that? You have some other news that you haven't shared with the world? I don't think.
Speaker 1:I don't even know what we're talking about. Tell me you went to Waffle House. Oh, I did go to Waffle House, all right.
Speaker 2:Lay it on me. I have purposefully not asked you about this on the podcast it's a little bit.
Speaker 1:So the whole night was actually extremely successful. Um, I did not go on a date. I went. I took the girls to a stingrays game. We've never been to a stingrays hockey game and I love hockey. I got second seats. There was a fight in front of us. I love the fights. We literally could see their eyeballs and their hair. I love hockey. We know this from my romance obsession. But like they're right there, like, and for the first two periods no one sat in the first row. And then a bunch of jamokes came and sat there and I'm assuming they were their seats, I don't know, but we moved up for the first part. So we were right on the plexiglass and they were like the girl. We got a puck. I mean, we probably looked like I don't know. We were obviously having the best time.
Speaker 1:I was with the girls, like my daughters, so we were just glowing. A puck came up and over and you could tell that the family right next to us must be like season ticket holders. They had purses, shoes, socks, everything was like they were completely casual and in their element. So the man caught the puck and everything to us was like a big deal. So he like literally handed it to me. I was like, oh my God, I love that. He was like listen. I was like that's the nicest to me. I was like oh my God, I love that. He was like listen. I was like that's the nicest thing and he was like it's. He's probably like I got like 189 of these things. These three are just like eating popcorn and chicken fingers and like laser beams of glow are just coming out of their eyes. I love that.
Speaker 1:The girls loved it, though it was so sweet, so we have our little puck from the game. And then after we like and we were on the sting race thing like looking at the roster, I mean the girls were like, oh my gosh, they like keep bringing whatever number it is out, like do you think that means he's like a good player? I'm like pretty sure it's a starter Like he's starting, and it's a starter Like he's starting and they'd like never seen a face off. So I'm like doing my best to like speak through this and give them all of the things and they're just yes, so we're like looking at them, looking at all of them. Do you have a hockey?
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure. Okay, I'll have him into a hockey game in a bit.
Speaker 1:The goalie. Of course we know this, but is very flexible. Oh yeah, of course we know this, but it's very flexible, oh yeah. So Pi Pi was like he can do splits and I was like that's like actually like part of his job. I don't know if that's a requirement, but he has to be flexible. So we went into double overtime during this game, so then there ended up being like a shootout. They were like what is even happening?
Speaker 2:right now, they saw the Zamboni. Oh my God, is that not?
Speaker 1:the funnest word ever so fun. The guys shoveling the ice. Every little thing that happened was mind-blowing. The little stingray running around, I mean, they were just like we bought the souvenir popcorn buckets.
Speaker 1:Now are you someone who buys the foam finger? I love a foam finger. No, we get. No we. We went for the souvenir popcorn buckets. We went full. They were like we should have jerseys. I was like we are going to spend a mortgage payment before we leave here. But then I was like not done because it was so much joy. And I was like oh, they're like on the way home. They were like do we have to go right to bed? And I was like well, what if we went to Waffle?
Speaker 1:House instead, and they were like, because we passed that exit by a long point, and they were like, oh, and I was like, oh, maybe we should really go to Waffle House.
Speaker 2:Have they been or?
Speaker 1:no, no, when that was a thing. So now it's become this thing because everyone knows I haven't been and now it's this thing and I was like this is a bad decision, like not taking them, taking someone else. And I was like because it's going to be weirdly competitive and then people are going to feel like I'm picking favorites and it's like you haven't been and everyone has this Waffle House obsession. Because I haven't gone. I was like I feel like the most fair thing to do would just be to rip the Band-Aid off with my kids and then there's right. So then we pull in and you can tell it's like full of high schoolers and that's just like we sat on one of the booths that goes right into the kitchen.
Speaker 1:Everybody was amazing. The cook chopped up their food for me and probably because right before we sat down, pi, who is sassy I was like I mean we could have probably just gone home and had spaghetti, because she's like getting a little bit like menu anxiety, basically, and I'm like, but then I would be cooking spaghetti and I am tired and I'm having the best night with you and I don't want to go home and cook spaghetti. I'm so sick of cooking spaghetti.
Speaker 2:I know You're unraveling me with the pasta obsession.
Speaker 1:It's going to push me over the edge. I'm hoping to God and then it's probably going to go away and it's going to be something even more brutal and I'm going to hate myself for wishing away spaghetti For sure. So I'm just trying to be calm about it. But I was like but I don't want to cook spaghetti, I actually just want to eat a meal that someone else cooked for me. Even the waffles were like perfectly cut into, like 10 pieces and like oh, so I was like what did you get?
Speaker 2:what did you get? I have to know I got the.
Speaker 1:Is it the grand slam? Wait, that's a denny's no hold on. I asked chat gpt. What are you sure, or maybe I'm thinking IHOP. Hold on. I asked ChatGPT what the best dishes were at Waffle House.
Speaker 2:Oh, it is at.
Speaker 1:Denny's Okay, hold on, let it come up again. I have this screenshot somewhere. But I literally asked. It's like, do we need the reasoning? I was like to eat.
Speaker 2:There is one at Waffle House, but I was thinking of one of the Denny's.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm pretty sure I got the grand slam at waffle waffle house. Um, maybe it was the all-star special, I don't know. I got loaded hash browns. I got cheese, tomatoes and jalapenos on mine. It came with bacon. It came with. It was also a special and for those who want a little bit of everything, so it came with eggs, toast, some crazy like all the hash brown things that you could have. Bacon came with everything. I have a picture of it for us.
Speaker 2:So what's your, what's your take?
Speaker 1:It was delicious.
Speaker 2:So good, gosh, I was about to say how long did it take for the diary? Nothing bad happened.
Speaker 1:I was like oh my God, thank God. I was like that's what I was like.
Speaker 2:Oh, I need a cheeseburger. So it does not matter what time of day I go to waffle house, I get a cheeseburger. But I didn't see it on the menu. Yes, I get the double cheeseburger. Yes, I did not see it on the menu. I'll eat it at four o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1:I will eat it at eight o'clock.
Speaker 2:I thought I was going to get a burger. Their cheeseburger is banging, it is so good.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's in the back or something. I literally just was like. I asked ChatGPT. I asked ChatGPT everything. I couldn't remember John Legend's wife's name yeah, last night. So I asked ChatGPT Chrissy Teigen yeah, and she's hot, and it looks like Chrissy Teigen.
Speaker 2:And I was like why can't I think of I have her cookbooks. She's got incredible cookbooks, actually. Just listen to the podcast that she did with Mel Robbins about people pleasing. It was really really good. You should listen to it.
Speaker 1:I love her, but I literally could not, for the life of me, remember her name. What is John Legend's wife's name? I've also gotten in trouble twice for asking too many things in one day. Oh yeah, and then I asked it some slang and it was like you are crossing the chat GPT line? Oh, is that what it said? No, I don't remember. I took a screenshot of it. I was like, oh, I did not know that that's what that meant.
Speaker 2:First of all, ask it something this morning. Well, I Google searched it because I didn't think ChatGPT would know. So I don't know if you do this, but at our library, like I put books on hold. Well, you know, they go look for them for you and then they put them in this nice little area. I've been doing this for two years. They put it on this bookshelf, they put this little piece of paper. It's got your name in it. Dude, you're supposed to check those out. I have been walking out of the library with these books for two years, thinking that they were pre-checked out. I found out this morning because I put some books on hold. I Googled it just for shits and giggles and I was like, oh M G, I've been like taking books out of the library for two years not knowing this.
Speaker 1:And just bringing them back casually. And they're like they're like. We will say that quite often, books disappear and then magically wake there. You can't be the only one, though.
Speaker 2:I'm like it's got a receipt with my like name in it, like I thought that it was like a done deal clearly not we have a receipt with your name in it, are you sure? I'm sure. I googled it. I'm 100% sure you have to enter your library card to check them out and to hold them, but then apparently you still have to check them out. I did not know this. Found it out this morning.
Speaker 1:Your name is on it with a receipt. Dude, I hear you, I know. Can you ask them when you go in? Yes, I'm going by today because I'm getting more freedom in books. Oh God, now I can literally never tell you why. Why?
Speaker 2:Because they're so good, they're so good, they're so good.
Speaker 1:No, can you even sleep at night after? Nope, I'm not into it. This is why you were freaking out. This is exactly why you were freaking out.
Speaker 2:Well, no, it was just that one subject matter. This girl in the book is on a dating app hello called hinge, and I'm like that sounds awfully similar to hinge.
Speaker 1:It made me more it's based off of it. My hinge is a freaking hot mess right now. It's literally, but I send you guys all the screenshots of anything I even like remotely talk about and then I just revert back to my same tendencies of like thinking that everybody is love bombing me. And what the heck is love bombing? Oh my gosh, it's like my fear. Hold on, let's ask Chad GPT before I fuck it up. It's like the scary thing in dating, um, besides murder, no scarier. Oh, okay, well, maybe not, but like love bombing is like my scared thing, um, because it typically is a trait I'm gonna jack it up without this definition. So this chat she continues to speed it up, but I believe it's typically a trait of narcissism, um, and it's where people like, uh, basically literally love, bomb you, like, fall in love with you quickly, like it's a lot of flattery, it's a lot of like making you feel really special and like, ultimately, can chat GPT speed it up a little bit? What is happening to my chat GPT right now?
Speaker 2:That all sounds fabulous. What's wrong with all of this? I know.
Speaker 1:And I saw on Instagram the other day. It was like it's impossible for me to not believe that love bombing is exactly what I deserve, because why wouldn't you fall in love with me immediately, right, I know, but it's like dangerous, it's like the dangerous version of it. We should get somebody on here to talk about it.
Speaker 2:Okay, love, bombing expert.
Speaker 1:Can you ask your chat GPT? Mine is oh wait, okay, here we go, lay it on me. It reasoned for 56 seconds, so that is a new chat GPT update. That's not going to work for me. Love bombing is a manipulative tactic when someone overwhelms another person with excessive affection, attention and flattery, often through gifts, constant communication and grand gestures, to gain control or influence over them. This behavior is typically used in the early stages of a relationship to quickly establish an emotional bond which can later make it easier for the love bomber to manipulate or exploit the target. It's often associated with narcissistic and abusive behaviors and relationships.
Speaker 2:I mean other than that last part. It sounded quite lovely.
Speaker 1:Except it's like quite literally.
Speaker 2:So like if a guy showed up with like diamonds, like we're not, we're not going to, like I feel like we should rethink this.
Speaker 1:No, we're definitely taking the diamonds, but like hey, let's go to Fiji, okay. Yeah, and then they kill you in Fiji because you're not by, you can't be tracked. Great, how did you? How are you picking and choosing which amount of tracking is appropriate? You said Vegas and Fiji are fine, but a half mile from where I live is flipping you out to the point of 29 calls and texts. Are you love-comming me?
Speaker 2:I didn't even know that was until today. I don't think so.
Speaker 1:No, it's like a very real thing and it's like, oh my gosh, like I never had this feeling with anyone, Like I, you know, like it's a quick attachment, I think it has to do like um.
Speaker 2:I would. That would freak me out.
Speaker 1:It doesn't freak people out, though. That's the thing, because it's very much. And I will say this about nurses I don't think they wake up every day and they're like I want to be a nurse, but these are the tactics that they. Their natural inclination is to you like they don't think of it like a tactic. This is their behavior and I'm sure it has to do something. Let's say, how is this influenced by attachment styles? Um, I don't know my attachment style. We probably need somebody on here to talk about this we do let's work on that.
Speaker 1:I definitely do not know my attachment style. I haven't looked.
Speaker 2:We should work on that.
Speaker 1:Yes, but it's largely influenced by attachment style, so the people who appreciate it are the ones that tend to fall victim to it, and then the people who use it obviously tend to sometimes. What are they? Hang on, let me hear they are anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, so it says. Love bombing often plays into the vulnerabilities associated with insecure attachment styles, for example, an anxious attachment. Individuals with an anxious attachment style tend to crave intimacy and constant reassurance. When someone love bombs them with excessive praise, gifts or attention, it can feel like an ideal, almost overwhelming validation. This rapid intensification of the relationship can make them more vulnerable to manipulation because it feeds into their fear of abandonment and their desire for closeness. Avoidant attachment I feel like that is me.
Speaker 2:I'm sitting here reading on my other screen. I'm like if I had to just guess before we take a quiz, that would be mine.
Speaker 1:Avoidant. Well, I'm just so. It says, here we go. This is love bombing in avoidant attachment. On the flip side, those with avoidant attachment styles typically value independence and may feel smothered by intense when they encounter love bombing and send a feeling value.
Speaker 1:They might perceive it as intrusive or overwhelming, triggering withdrawal. This is literally me and you in a pushback, in a way to reclaim personal space. So this is like literally what happened. I'm like, gosh, that was like such a fun dinner. And then they're like the next day. I'm like, ah, you're not bombing me.
Speaker 2:You're supposed to wait three days to text me. What are you doing?
Speaker 1:I'm like what Ew, but like I and I don't mean that. So if somebody is listening to this, I'm so sorry. I obviously have things I'm still working on.
Speaker 2:Let's take a quiz. Can we take a quiz?
Speaker 1:And we'll share it with everybody.
Speaker 2:But if I had, if I was a batting gal, I'm going, I'm avoidant.
Speaker 1:Is that what you think you are? Yeah, right now. This one says disorganized attachment. Individuals with disorganized attachment styles often experience conflicting desires for closeness and a fear of intimacy. This is also a contender. Love bombing in this context can create a confusing push-pull dynamic where the recipient is simultaneously drawn to a tense affection but repelled by the lack of stability, potentially deepening emotional turmoil.
Speaker 1:I don't know, oh my God, but I know that I'm like okay, I can tell there's like connectivity, but then I'm like I don't know, you know, I just want to be like. I basically want to be Rapunzel, with great hair tucked away in a tower, but not prisoner, but like but like a man, can climb up your hair and come up every now and then. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Is that too much to ask for? Is that too much to ask for? I mean, is that too much to ask for? Is that too much to ask for? Stop yeah. So have you made it to the episode of Love is Blind yet, where the guy is talking with the girl and he asked her her attachment style and as soon as she says what hers is, you can literally feel an energy shift in the way he's responding to her.
Speaker 1:Have people started going on the romantic vacations yet when are you? So I'm a little behind, but I'm on.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I'm way ahead of you. Oh, okay, it was like episode two. And as soon as she said her attachment style was, I think she said it was either anxious avoidant or just avoidant. Isn't the blonde girl? Yes, yeah, like he completely like changed. Yeah, like he completely like changed. It was really interesting. I'm like, how does this guy know so much?
Speaker 1:There's a lot of major flags in this group. I will say this it gets so much more. These girls seem flipping cray, I think the boys are too.
Speaker 2:I'm just not impressed. I'm not loving anybody.
Speaker 1:So TBD on if I make it through this whole season, but right now I'm not feeling it. So then one of the other things this is just like whatever that's happening that I think is making this even more confusing is like, obviously last year I started to prioritize my friends more because I got pulled away from them when I really had to figure out who I was being manipulated by. So I had to like save those people. Like I had to be like okay, I know I need to protect this and I need to protect myself and so I need to create these walls around each little group. So I took those down last year. That was part of more. They can't find time like with me, because the girls always have it.
Speaker 2:Well, that's not a bad thing.
Speaker 1:No, no, I know, but it's like there's a part of me that's like very protective of that, also because of everything else, and so like, what about lunch? I'm like I already have plans for lunch. What about dinner? On this day, like last Thursday, I have a Galentine's. What about, like? And part of me is like oh, thank God, I can keep like saying no, yeah, guys love that. Oh, I wasn't even doing it for them. I meant like, because I get nervous. And then part of me is like I'm kind of fucked. I'm kind of a big dealer in here.
Speaker 1:I'm kind of busy. Even like Friday for lunch I randomly had plans with a friend I haven't seen in forever and we just went to home team and ended up there for three and a half hours. Thank God you didn't have my location. Then I was with a girlfriend Nope, you'd been good had Irish coffees and just like hung out and laughed our heads off. I was the queen of TMI, so everybody that was sitting there is probably like praying again. But it's all good, everything's fine. But I would literally was like ah, I have plans, but it literally sounds like and I try to say my girlfriends, but then I'm like, why do I have to say my girlfriends? It sounds like I'm booked, but I look at my calendar. I kind of am. I actually have like three jobs. I can't be just gallivanting all over. I don't think they need to know all that.
Speaker 1:No, I know, Well, that's so. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I play it on a need to know basis until they're in your inner circle. That's how I feel.
Speaker 1:Okay. Well then that is the next issue that we have is like now, because I've started to become more open to like actually dating, now I'm deeply terrified that I'm really going to like somebody and then I'm going to have to like I am, I'm sure, somebody's listening, it's probably Kirsten's probably listening to this and she's like I know exactly what attachment style this is. So now I'm like I can't, because I'm so scared that I'm going to actually like somebody and then I'm going to have to like reign it in again and I don't. I'm not ready. Not because I want to date, I'm just like scared.
Speaker 2:That's completely normal, but I feel like we need to save that for another episode because I feel like that's a good Kirsten conversation.
Speaker 1:I know we need her. We need to figure out what we're doing next, Kirsten.
Speaker 2:All right, guys, we're going to wrap this one up. We appreciate you Go to.
Speaker 1:Waffle House and get the Grand Slam. Is that really the name?
Speaker 2:I think that's what it says, but it is at Denise too.
Speaker 1:It might be the All-Star Special Guys. I'm sorry if I said that Either way they both sound sports-related. Just think about baseball and get the baseball. Yes, totally. Smother your hash browns. The hash browns were much better than I thought. They were Smothered and covered. They were nice and moist. They weren't dry.
Speaker 2:Did you just say moist? Are we going to end the episode on moist? Oh dear God.
Speaker 1:I knew it was going to trigger you.
Speaker 2:Triggered. All right guys. Thanks so much for tuning in and we will see you next week.