Camping Them Softly: A Dead by Daylight Podcast

Dead by Daylight Survivor Rankings, Italian New Year Traditions, and Japanese Phone Mayhem! Ep. 42

• ToxicTeacherTTV • Season 1 • Episode 42

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In this episode, you'll hear some Dead by Daylight stuff, and also garbage!

Festivities include:

  1. 2 outrageous patch rants that leave no survivor unscathed.
  2. 4 wild Italian New Year traditions that defy logic and common sense.
  3. 7 hysterical survivor rankings that pinpoint exactly who deserves the worst.
  4. 1 epic Nagoya phone fiasco that ties the madness together.

Send Toxic a message! (Question? Comment? Concern? Survivor main and need rehab?)

Check me out everywhere!

https://linktr.ee/thetoxicteacher

Speaker 1:

I have to say no to the synthwave stuff that's kind of oh, oh, hey, check it out everybody. Do we have it? There we go, we got it Right. Here we're at episode. What the fuck? This is Kevin from Suckly. That's his number Number. Hang on, I've got to find my number here. Okay, shut the fuck up crowd. That's it. That's it.

Speaker 1:

Now our episode number 42, actually Number 42. This week can't beat them softly. Episode number 42. What the fuck do we even talk about? This week? I think we've got a new patch that just came out. Have you seen the new patch? The new patch? What my sound? Oh fuck, I totally forgot to fix all my shit. There we go, that would work. That would work, though. Okay, so we're on 40 fucking two and there's not a lot. That patch has been the biggest one, I think. And then we also have a new tome. Gotta give him that huck. And then we also have, in addition to the new tome, we've got the Lunar New Year stuff.

Speaker 1:

If you guys don't know, new year is a is a chinese thing Is celebrating. You know we celebrate the, the. What do we celebrate? What's the name of our new year? If theirs is the lunar, what is ours called? Hang on, I gotta check what's. What is our new year Versus the? You know what nikki will know. Actually, for better, for better or worse, what is our new year called? I know, I know in China, oh, jesus Christ, they do the lunar new year. What do Italians celebrate? Oh, jesus Christ, this is gonna be bad. I already know it's gonna be bad, okay, so what is our new year called? I know in china they do, uh, oh my god, they have something, they have something special. Oh jesus christ. Okay, give me a sec.

Speaker 1:

He he's writing a novel, okay, and he's even writing about what they do for DVD on new years. Oh my God. Okay, I don't know if this is an actual I mean, I know it's not an actual thing, but I'm not sure how offensive it is. That that's part of the problem. This could actually be pretty offensive, but what do we even do here? I mean, this is Nicky, right, this is just who he is as a person, as a semi-person. And, by the way, did you see that?

Speaker 1:

Kai Sinat, or whatever he is, he's got an AI robot. Now he's taking over like everywhere, he takes it everywhere, and it's like 70,000 bucks, this fucking thing. And I'm feeling like I need an Italian AI robot that will go around and we could do like Italian stuff with it. I don't know. Oh, hold on, nikki. Nikki, tell me, here he is, here he. He just generated it. All right, nikki. So what do? Okay, so they have the Italian New Year or the Chinese Lunar New Year. There we go. That's what it's fucking called. Now, what do you guys do for the Italian New Year, for better or worse?

Speaker 3:

Ayo, in little Italy we don't just do New Year, okay, we do Capodanno, what is Italian for New Year's Eve and New Year's Day celebration. Is this real? Let me tell you, saab am's official New Year ain't just any new year. It's not the grand pasta reset. Oh, my god, forget January 1st. The real Italian New Year starts on the first Sunday dinner of the okay declares the sauce has been perfected for the year ahead. It's a spiritual reset for the family.

Speaker 1:

You get me okay, so in the in the al dente family I, I guess I the crime syndicate, or suppose a legitimate, legitimate business syndicate they have the grand pasta reset where nana I don't know who nana is, I think nana is the uh is like the grandma of the group, I think that's what they call she perfects her sauce for the year ahead and this is a spiritual reset of some kind. Okay, let's, let's go further into the al dente. For those of you who don't know, our co-host is an ai italian legitimate businessman, slash dbd killer, main named nikki, a idente. He has his whole history. He invented. He invented his whole history and his situation and his gang and his enemies, and so he's going into what they do for the new year. Okay, nikki, what is this reset?

Speaker 3:

sabam new year traditions yes, the great pasta countdown oh god we count down to midnight, but instead of a ball dropping, we drop a massive fucking meatball into the pot. Bless the year ahead, jesus christ. The no dc challenge always fail okay, what's a no dc family? Swears, nobody will rage. Quit for a whole day okay that's about 10 minutes into day. First dbd match when someone gets flashlight saved, the pasta profit, jesus christ.

Speaker 1:

So they do. They do the no dc challenge last 10 minutes. I believe it. Uh, you know a lot of a lot of people do that. I can especially see this family doing it nik, nikki. What's the next one? What's it called the pasta prophecy, fortune telling with noodle? Oh Jesus.

Speaker 3:

Fortune telling with noodles.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 3:

You grab a piece of spaghetti and throw it at their wall. Okay, sticks, good luck.

Speaker 1:

Okay, you throw a noodle in a wall. If it sticks and you're going to have good luck for the year. What the hell is this crap? What if it doesn't stick?

Speaker 3:

If it falls, someone in the family is going to get banned from DBD again.

Speaker 1:

Okay, All of their family traditions revolve around Dead by Daylight. See, I love it. I love it. Okay, keep going Jesus.

Speaker 3:

The respect or regret toasts Before eating. We toast to the family and to killing more survivors than last year.

Speaker 1:

That's good, I agree.

Speaker 3:

When toast with water, we kick them out. Water toasts are bad luck, I believe it.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so water toast being bad luck, what is this? The next one is the anti-survivor purge.

Speaker 3:

Survivor purge. We go into the fog and stomp out as many Jen Russian disrespectful survivors as possible. Okay, tunneling is required.

Speaker 1:

Tunneling is required.

Speaker 3:

You ain't invited to next year's dinner.

Speaker 1:

I agree, I'm totally in support of that. One. Give me a hell. Yeah, I can totally support an anti-survivor purge where you tunnel, tunnel, tunnel. This past week I played some DVD with a new event with, like Chaos Shovel with the what's it called the new tome. I've been going through that. That first page just came out. There's been a lot of tunneling, there's been a lot of camping. There's been a lot of proxy camping. I haven't yet done the basement challenge, where you just stay in the basement for 10 games, see how many kills you get. That hasn't happened yet, but it will. Don't worry about that, okay. So the survivor purge, what's the next? What's the other italian new year traditions? I don't know. Oh my god, I don't know if any of this is real, so I apologize other italian new year traditions okay red underwear for good luck oh, jesus yeah, I don't know either.

Speaker 3:

It's a thing no, it's throwing old shit out the window. In some places people actually toss old furniture onto the street oh geez it's called out with the old, in with the new that can't okay, that can't be real.

Speaker 1:

I'm gonna say, do, okay, I'm gonna get on regular chat here. And I'm gonna say, okay, let's. Do you know, chat? Gpt just released their o3, which is supposed to be the most advanced. Do italians, do italians have any specific new year traditions? Okay, do they. Um, here we go and there's that, let's hit the go button. It's reasoning, because apparently that's what it does now and it shows you eating lentils is one of them. Wearing red underwear is a real thing. He actually mentions a real Italian New Year tradition. What's the other one? Oh my God. In some regions, there's a tradition of discarding old or unused items to symbolize letting go of the past and welcoming new opportunities. Physically throwing out items as the clock strikes midnight. He's actually telling the fucking truth. Okay, you notice? I think I've got my sound improved over what it was before. Okay, sense of hope and renewal. Okay, nikki's actually telling the truth for once. All right, nikki, keep going here.

Speaker 3:

Fireworks and lots of food.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 3:

You ever see an Italian holiday without a full course meal?

Speaker 1:

No.

Speaker 3:

Fug it about it.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 3:

So yeah, Sabam doesn't just celebrate new year okay, you're a gang we treat it like a respect reset okay the first official killer 4k of the year sets the tone for the next 12 months. Survivors getting hatch ain't no fucking way. So tell me, payson, how did your first 4k of the year go? Or did some flashlight click and disrespect ruin your fresh start? Man, I got nothing but 4Ks.

Speaker 1:

Hang on, let me say that I got nothing but 4Ks so far. But 4Ks so far. I've never actually had a conversation with them. Usually I just ask one-off questions and post them for you guys. Oh my God, no mercy, no hatch escapes. Survivors got to earn their way out of the fog. They don't just get out. May your chases be swift. Oh my God, here's the first, the official Sabam 4k blessing for the year. I didn't know we were gonna have a blessing for the year, but he's like praying. It's an ai praying and giving a blessing for the new year.

Speaker 3:

What the fuck is official saban 4k blessing for the year. Okay, may your chases be swift. May da jans stay untouched and make every flashlight click and survivor regret queuing up against you okay, may your hooks stay full. May your dcs be for business reasons only, and may every pellet drop into fog be nothing but an opportunity for more suffering.

Speaker 1:

Salute salute, there we go, you, you can, you can fucking drink to that all right.

Speaker 1:

So there you go, that's your. You've got a blessing for the new year. So far, you learned a little bit here. Um, I also had a. I did, actually. I did actually have a long conversation with Nikki about his backstory, going all the way back to being a child, and he came up with the most fucking intricate like where he came from. He even gave pictures of him and his rival, earl Grey. He showed me pictures of himself and his mortal enemy, who apparently they went to elementary school together all the way through high school and college and had families and love triangles. I don't even know if I could do it all. I can't even show it all here because we're not even on the topic of Dead by Daylight yet, which we need to get into Dead by Daylight, I would assume at some point, in which case you know we have a song for going into dead by daylight. Hang on, does it play? There it goes. It is the time again. Talk about dead by daylight. Yes, oh, there we go. See how I have it queued up automatically.

Speaker 1:

It's a toxic fucking news new killers suck survivors op boom another goddamn patch and it's back in my pc, see there we go perfect music man all right, so we gotta, we've got to talk about what's the first one? The first one is.

Speaker 1:

There we go Dude, I can't get over it, I can't get over it. Okay, so let's go over some of the changes here. Um, we've got they just released 8.5.0. That was the new patch, the Freddie rework patch, and they made some of the changes I think to. They made a couple of changes to this patch, um, and I need to find what those are. Actually I'm not like, why am I not finding it? Because they, they gave, they said we got some changes. I don't know that they actually did they change? Hang on, let me see, I don't. I don't see that there were a whole lot of actual changes from the patch to the like. I'm not finding them Because normally they release that They'll say here are the new things that came from the PTB, like you know. They say, oh, the PTB, we got all this shit and here's the new stuff. I don't see any of it. But I do see a warning that they gave and this was a couple of days ago, three, four days ago said you're gonna have slower matchmaking and they're currently investigating and they never updated what those are. So I I don't know, or what that, what the status is. So we may still be in the same spot with this slower matchmaking. I haven't personally seen it. I don't know if you guys have, but it might be a thing I don't even fucking know, who knows.

Speaker 1:

So the other big news we have the new tome. I think it's tome. What's the number there on the new tome? It's called Anguish, I think is the new tome. I think it's tome. What's the number there on the new tome? It's called Anguish, I think is a new tome, which Satan is a big fan of. But let's talk about this tome, the new one, because you know the tome has got like a hundred fucking levels. It always comes with new banners and new costumes and all that kind of bullshit.

Speaker 1:

This Tome, in my opinion, visually like the visuals is extremely, extremely, extremely disappointing. I don't know if I've been as disappointed for skins, because everybody looks like they're going to fucking rave and it's like purple and all kinds of like neo. What do they call that? What do they call the artwork that's big on, like a lot of streams use it and a lot of stuff. It's like that turquoise, faux 80s. You know what is that called? Gotcha bitch. Um, what's it called? It's called like neon wave, neo wave, uh, synth wave. That's it, synth wave. There we go.

Speaker 1:

Synth wave is an electronic, micro, electronic music micro genre. Is there? What is a micro genre? What the fuck? A specialized or niche genre describes highly specific sub genres, like including the myriad sub genres of heavy metal and electronic music. I didn't. Synthwave is a micro genre.

Speaker 1:

What if I turn one of my theme songs into a synth wave? I don't even know what that's going to sound like. Hang on, I'm going to get one right now. Hang on, give me a sec, give me a fucking second. I could do this. Let's do All right Style of music Synthwave. I'm just going to type that and then that's gonna come out in like 30 seconds and then we'll figure out what synth wave even is. I don't even know what that sounds like. I I know I'm probably not gonna like it, but uh, but we're gonna. We're gonna figure it out together. We need to see what this is all about. So, um, yeah, the new tome. Not great in my opinion. If you are the type of person that only spends the money, if you like the tome, I feel like, at least to me, I wouldn't spend the money on it. You may dig that stuff in which I don't know fucking why you do but here. Oh hey, my synth wave just came out. Hang on one, let me see.

Speaker 2:

Oh, brothers and sisters, there's a wrecking?

Speaker 1:

Oh no, and his name. His name is the toxic motherfucking teacher, can I get a hell yeah? No, you can't.

Speaker 2:

Hell yeah, oh, amen, can't beat them softly again and again. Is this good? They talk their shit, but still tune in. Oh. Because they know toxic's always going to win. I don't know if I like it Some of the fuckers wasting their time while I'm stacking dollars.

Speaker 1:

Do I like it?

Speaker 2:

Camping them softly, preaching the fire.

Speaker 1:

Camping them softly, making them laugh, I don't know Toxic. Camping them softly, making them like a teacher, I don't know.

Speaker 2:

Toxic teachers, camping them softly.

Speaker 1:

It's kind of good, but it's kind of not. Oh, toxic teachers. Let me listen to the other version. There's always two Brothers and sisters. Okay, it's almost like the Magnum PI theme song. His name is the toxic motherfucking teacher.

Speaker 2:

Okay, can's almost like the Magnum PI theme song.

Speaker 1:

Okay, no, no, this one's a little bit better. I don't know if I can get into this synthwave stuff maybe no, I can't, I can't.

Speaker 1:

I'm gonna have to say no to the synthwave stuff that's got fatality. No, okay. So we, we figured out what synthwave was. See, you learn something. You learn something on camping them softly. That's what we're here for. You're gonna you're gonna learn dead by daylight, but you're also going to learn non-dead by daylight things.

Speaker 1:

By the way, we we weren't able to get a hold of little josh's last week. If you remember, we were in parson senesee last week for, um, oh, what's the name of, what's the name of our segment? It's, uh, where the fuck are the viewers from? We were in Parsons, tennessee. We contacted little Josh's fucking fish house and barbecue. We weren't able to get through to him. I did not try again, but I do plan to try. I don't think they're open today. According to Bill, they were open. Oh gosh, what were they open? And, by the way, I talked to somebody oh, they're closed today. That's what they say online.

Speaker 1:

I talked to the viewer from Parsons, tennessee. I don't know if he wants me to say his name on here, but I told him. I said, hey, your town was on. Where the fuck are the viewers from? He said, oh, that's awesome. And so I said we even talked about the biggest, like one of the biggest restaurants to visit there. Guess what his response was. Just guess what his fucking response was. His response was I thought that was a drum roll. That was the rim shot. His response was I bet it was Little Josh's Catfish House. And like I about like where's my sound? Little Josh's Catfish House. There we go. That's something. It's not the one I want, but it's something. So he knew exactly like little Josh's must be the place. He said it was pretty good. He mentioned a couple other restaurants in this town of 2000 fucking people and uh, yeah, that, oh God, yeah.

Speaker 3:

That was something.

Speaker 1:

So it's Sunday, guys, by the way, and uh just want to let you know. In. Other toxic news is that we've got uh, here we go. We are now number 195 in the ukraine in leisure podcasts. Yes, we are number 195 in the Ukraine. We're now charting, we are charting. We were also on the Singapore podcast list For video games. I don't know what happened, but we lost that. We were there for a very short period of time but we lost access To the charts or we lost our place on the charts. We were displaced, probably by an Identity V podcast.

Speaker 1:

If you've ever heard of Identity V, it's another NetEase game On the phones. You know, dbd Mobile shut down and people on the subreddit for DBD Mobile are saying they wish they could buy an F-15 fighter jet to go to wherever. Where is it China? Oh, netease was celebrating the Lunar New Year. There you go, and they said they want to blow up the fucking the houses of the NetEase for taking down dead by daylight mobile, which I totally disagree with, because that game wasn't that great anyway, other than the skins I thought it had such great skins and now somebody on there is saying they can't add money to their account. They have no fucking clue. The game is over. It's a survivor main, probably. How do you not know? Is the game finally dead? Like I'm looking online, is the game finally dead? I got kicked out and I can't get it like, oh, jesus christ, okay, so that that tells you the, the, the um, the what do I say? The player base of dD Mobile. It tells you a lot about them and I'm not going to go into detail because they'll get all offended. They'll be here. How dare you say that to us? How dare you? We don't have a whole lot and you're taking what's left away from us. But yeah, that's that for the toxic news. Let me turn you off. Toxic news Dead by Daylight, I think next week it's probably going to be thin as well, unless something comes up. We'll probably do our next deep dive into Survivor lore. We did who did we do last time? I think we did Meg Thomas last time.

Speaker 1:

We'll have to have like a vote or something for the next one. I'll post it on like Spotify or something and we'll pick from two or three and then we'll pick, you know, whichever survivor we want to talk about. I don't know which ones I'm trying to think. Let me. Let me do this. I'm going to go down the list and we'll find the. We'll find the three that we want to go over and we want to talk about. Let me I'll have to go to the DBD wiki and let me see if I could find okay survivors here.

Speaker 1:

And does it give me anything about the survivors? No, um, let me see, I'm gonna pick one shitty one and I'll pick two good ones. So for the shitty one, we'll go with, uh, we'll go with sable, and then let me see I'll pick a good one. So sable's sable's gonna be our shitty one. You know what? I'll pick two shitty ones. That'll probably make for more entertainment. So we'll do, uh, we'll do sable.

Speaker 1:

Have you noticed every sable? Why is my voice cracking? Every sable match. Sable is a garbage survivor, or the people that play her are garbage? Um, they just they don't know what they're doing. They're all over the place, they just I, I don't know. I have never been impressed with a sable player in my whole in in my whole career.

Speaker 1:

And I'm gonna go pretend you are a survivor, main in dbd and you enjoy playing as sable. Why in the world do you play this survivor and why do you play so badly at the game question mark. Okay, let me see what happens here. Oh Jesus, oh wait, no, is that Nikki? That's not Nikki. This is like regular, regular. Oh, jesus Christ, this is not what this is like. The regular uh, chat, gppt, like, with no personality and it. Oh my god, I am playing for the montage. Maybe if you stop tunneling and let survivors have fun, you would see the actual cinematic plays I'm making. Oh, jesus christ, see this. That's a sable main for you. Okay, so we've got Sable as a shitty survivor.

Speaker 1:

Let me find another couple that we can put on our potential list of survivor. Uh, survivor mains, let's go. Um, I'll do a medium one. Let me see one that I don't really hate and don't really love. I'm just going to go down the list. Dwight, he's kind of middle of the road, right, I don't mind him. Okay, you know what? Nikki, here, let's do this.

Speaker 1:

Nikki, give me a rating on one to 10 of how much you respect each survivor. Oh, this is gonna be great. Nikki, give me a short rating, give me a short snippet of how much you respect each survivor in DBD. Give them a respect rating from one, least Italian, to ultimate, ultimate, ultimate pasta, I don't fucking know. Uh, and one one sentence about why you do. Don't respect them. Uh, curse in every one and don't censor yourself. All right, here we go. Oh, this is gonna be good or bad.

Speaker 1:

So I picked one terrible one s tier, oh god, ooh, oh, so he goes. He goes like the 10, 10 out of tens, and then he goes down to like his eight out of tens is like S tier, a tier, but like B tier. Okay, he's going down C tier right now. Oh, jesus Christ, oh no, oh Jesus, what in the hell is this crap? I wish I had my. Where's my italian sound? I thought I had a pulled up. Uh, fucking, where is it there? It is there, we go. Okay, he even goes over his overall rating of all survivors. Hang on, I'm getting it. I love the music in the background too. This is, this is perfect, okay, hang on. Okay, we're gonna generate down nikki.

Speaker 3:

He has a lot to say about these fucking survivors, okay, nikki all right, here's my official survivor respect rating, from one disgraciato to 10, ultimate pasta okay, here we go. Every single one gets a fucking reason, so listen up.

Speaker 1:

Oh good.

Speaker 3:

S-tier survivors.

Speaker 1:

Okay, S-tier.

Speaker 3:

Ultimate Pasta respect 10 out of 10.

Speaker 1:

Okay who.

Speaker 3:

Tap 10 out of 10.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 3:

The man looks like he told sit down.

Speaker 1:

What.

Speaker 3:

At an Italian sheet Sheet, joint, joint, joint, order a plate of lasagna and actually respect the sauce. Plus, he's got that old school blue collar toughness. A real man of honor, you know, I agree, I agree.

Speaker 1:

So tap is one of the good ones. I like tap. I'm a big tap guy, I enjoy tapping it. Okay, so we'll put tap up there. I agree with his rating of tap. Okay, the next one. It looks like I'm going to have to rewind because he goes through so fast. The next one is a rarely played survivor. I hardly ever see him. You probably hardly ever see him, but yeah, yoichi is also a 10 out of 10, which is very is very strange plus, he's got that old school blue collar toughness.

Speaker 3:

Yoichi october 10th. He keeps his mouth shut, stays out of my business and uh does, doesn't t-bag a t-bag bag down? My, yeah, my bag. Some disrespectful little shit. That's what we call omerta in the family, okay elodie.

Speaker 1:

Oh, elodie ricotto is the next one. So we got yoichi is a 10 out of 10, and then we have elodie as a last 10 out of 10. I've actually never, I've never even thought about elodie in terms of like, whether I like her or not, like she never comes up on my radar as being good or bad, like, just there, I guess, is the thing. Okay. So why is Elodie a 10 out of 10?

Speaker 3:

10 out of 10? Yeah, a classy broad with an eye for artifacts. She understands the importance of family heirlooms and that's respectable.

Speaker 1:

Okay, who's next?

Speaker 3:

Eight-tier survivors, next survivors solid respect.

Speaker 1:

Eight out of ten okay, we got some eights adam, eight out of ten.

Speaker 3:

Okay, a teacher who actually looks like he could beat someone's ass if needed. No, I respect a man who knows when to talk and when to shut the fuck up okay, I went to shut the fuck up that.

Speaker 1:

Okay. When to shut the fuck up? That's uh, that's Adam. I can't you know what I can get with that. I'm a fan. I'm a fan of Adam, so I would. I would agree with that. Eight out of 10. The only one so far, the LED one I'm I'm not sure about, so let me, let me, let me. Okay, so Tap is going to be, he's going to be a potential. So we have Sable at the bottom, right, sable's going to be our worst here, and then we have Tap at the top. We got to have somebody in the middle, though. Who else is an 8 out of 10?

Speaker 3:

Felix, oh Jesus 8 out of 10?.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3:

A rich guy who don't act like a spoiled little prick. That's rare. He doesn't. He'd probably own a high-end Italian restaurant and serve real wine, not that boxed shit.

Speaker 1:

Oh, the boxed shit. Hey, that's college for you. Do not talk about the fucking boxed shit. I'm a fan. Okay, the other eight out of ten? It looks like we have three in each. No, we have like five. No, okay, we do have three out of each. No, we have like five. No, we have. Okay, we do have three out of each. Okay, who's the last eight out of ten? Nikki.

Speaker 3:

Jane, eight out of ten.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I didn't think about that.

Speaker 3:

A sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. That's family material. If she wasn't in the fog, she'd have a successful radio show called Shut the Fuck Up with Jane.

Speaker 1:

Shut the fuck up with Jane. You know what. Shut the fuck up with Jane. That is a good name for a podcast, for a DVD podcast. Shut the fuck up with Jane, by the way, I didn't tell you you. So I was talking to the AI about, like how do we get this podcast bigger? And I I submitted it and one of the things they said was don't cuss as much, because they said it affects the fucking algorithm and it doesn't show up as much, especially if I don't mark it is being a uh, is market is being explicit, which I don't. So they're saying it's not, it's not gonna get as big because of the fucking. I don't give a shit. Okay, shut the fuck up with jane. Who are the b-tiers? Where we did the eight out of tens? What are the six out of tens, nikki?

Speaker 3:

b-tier survivors yeah respect, but with some issue.

Speaker 1:

Oh god, six out of ten oh geez, jonah, jonah, six out of ten, hey, which we know, remember. By the way, we know he is the least played survivor, which is very interesting to me. Okay, nikki, why is he only b tier, smart guy?

Speaker 3:

loves numbers he does, but I feel like he questioned my business expenses too much, nikki. Why does your restaurant have 12 000 in miscellaneous pasta costs? None of your fucking business, john so he would, he would oh jesus.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so he would. He's not a legitimate. He's not into quote-unquote legitimate businesses. I don't know what that was, okay next. Next up, he's six out of ten. Is my fucking ten out of ten. I can't agree with him on this one. This, this is where we part ways.

Speaker 3:

Jeff, no Six out of ten. He's ten. Cool guy Plays music Probably, respects the history of Italian opera Probably, but I feel like he's the type to put pineapple on pizza, and for that I can't go any higher. Okay, kate, six tens who, kate?

Speaker 1:

Okay, oh Jesus, this could last. Okay. So he says she's a country singer, so that's part of why he rates her as low as he does.

Speaker 3:

She ain't one of those SWS who loot me for five gins while singing Sweet Home Alabama, c-tier survivors Barely any fucking respect.

Speaker 1:

Okay, what's happening?

Speaker 3:

Sapo, Sapo oh Jesus.

Speaker 1:

He's losing it, oh fuck. Okay, so Dwight is always running around like he's lost in a Walmart parking lot. Okay so Dwight is always running around like he's lost in a Walmart parking lot.

Speaker 3:

All right, he's got the backbone to face real danger. If he were in the family, he'd be a fucking errand boy at best. Ooh.

Speaker 1:

Meg is four out of ten, also Too much of a try-hard. Okay.

Speaker 3:

Probably drinks pre-workout instead of espresso.

Speaker 1:

I would agree.

Speaker 3:

Never fucking sit still.

Speaker 1:

No respect for a slow cooked meal. Okay.

Speaker 3:

I agree with that.

Speaker 1:

We already talked about Meg, right? So, yeah, meg's a piece of shit, and so she gets a fucking four out of ten. Okay, his next four out of ten, I would probably rate higher, like a six or maybe even an eight.

Speaker 3:

Four tenths oh wait, no N nia artist yeah, real nice.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I bet she's the one who tagged nick and dicky nicky.

Speaker 3:

Jesus, nick chase on my twitch channel disrespectful d-tier survivors okay, d-tier, I ain't dcing on site. Two out of ten who david? Two out of ten, fake tough guy. I respect the brawler, but this on my Twitch channel Disrespectful D-tier survivors.

Speaker 1:

Okay, D-tier.

Speaker 3:

I ain't DCing on site. Two out of ten. Who, David? Two out of ten Fake tough guy. I respect the brawler, but this motherfucker thing is what? The fuck what no Mickey A guy rich about. He thinks he's in a guy rich movie Probably called Spaghetti Noodles.

Speaker 1:

Get. I think she's in a Guy Ritchie movie, probably called Spaghetti Noodles. Get the fuck out of here, claudette. Oh, he probably called Spaghetti Noodles, apparently. That's something you don't do around, nikki. Okay, next, next two out of ten.

Speaker 3:

Goodbye, oh fuck, I rewound too much, probably called Spaghetti Noodles. Get the fuck out of here, Claudette. Two-tenths, claudette Not Okay, claudette. 210th Claudette Not the worst person, but she hides in bushes like I owe her money. Also, I still got beef with Earl Grey and she's his sister, it's his sister.

Speaker 1:

That's guilt by association, sweetheart. Okay, that's Earl Grey's main, which I didn't know unless we had talked about it before. So, there you go. That's why he hates them. Okay, let's go to the next two out of ten Barely any fucking respect.

Speaker 3:

Michaela, that's the dumbest shit I ever heard. If magic was real, I wouldn't be losing games to sweaty SWFs on comms.

Speaker 1:

I agree, that is the dumbest shit. Dumbest shit ever. A witch in DVD. I'm just playing random fucking sounds. I like it, I like it. And then his one out of ten list is a fucking mile long. Okay, here we go, the one out of tens. I'm not even going to pause.

Speaker 3:

I'm just going to listen To your survivors no fucking respect. One out of ten. I'm not even going to pause, I'm just going to listen. Tier survivors no fucking respect. One out of ten.

Speaker 1:

Who are they?

Speaker 3:

Leon.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 3:

One out of ten, A cop.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah we can't respect a cop Chris, a fucking cop Quentin One tenth Looks like he ain't slept in years.

Speaker 3:

Probably too busy snitching to BHVR about unfair killer gameplay.

Speaker 1:

I agree.

Speaker 3:

Zarina One.

Speaker 1:

Ooh, why?

Speaker 3:

A journalist.

Speaker 2:

Ooh.

Speaker 3:

Oh, so you're the one who wrote that hit piece about me camping too much Fuck outta here.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 3:

Bill one-tenth, bill Old war vet. Yeah, respect for your service. But if you unbreakable in my face one more time. I swear to fucking God, Steve and Nancy. Why? One-tenth Netflix actors? No real world skills. What If I needed a cappuccino? They wouldn't even know how to froth the milk. Do you drink cappuccino with milk? One-tenth Patty Literally don't know who the fuck. This is Negative response.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 3:

Jake, jake, one tenth I do yes. Oh, I live off the grid. Yeah, you know what else is off the grid, what my restaurant's tax records. You don't see me bragging about it, he doesn't even mention Sable. Rating Survivor mains overall Rating Survivor mains as a whole.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 3:

Two tenths, two out of ten. Disrespectful Sweaty and they loop like they got something to prove.

Speaker 1:

I agree.

Speaker 3:

Only reason I ain't giving them a one is because some of them probably got good taste in food. A couple of them Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to go DC against a four-man SWF running flashlights.

Speaker 1:

Okay. So we got to pick. I picked the one he didn't even mention Sable or Gabriel or Nicholas Cage, I don't know why he did, maybe his, maybe his records are out of date or something. So we've got our, we've got our. Low is sable, we've got our. High one is tap. But see, why does he give tap a 10 out of 10 when tap is literally a cop? That makes no fucking sense if he's gonna give leon and chris, uh, a one for being cops. But is tap a cop? He is right, like he's a policeman.

Speaker 1:

David Tap, hang on, now I got to check. I'm starting to question David Tap. He was a police officer, right, fictional character portrayed by Danny Glover. He's a police detective. He's a police detective, that's it Later revealed, yeah, to be, yes. Tap also made appearances. Yeah, blah, yeah, blah, blah, blah. He died, right, he's. He was a character and saw the video game, and then he was in dead by daylight.

Speaker 1:

He was voiced by dave blake in dbd. But all they do is scream who is dave fucking blake? Dave blake voice actor. Okay, what else was this guy? David, dave Blake? Well, hang on, what? Who is this guy? He looks nothing like David Tapp, by the way. Hey, was that the only thing he was ever in? I'm checking his IMDB here. Oh, actually that's the only thing he's ever done. Okay, that's okay, there's Dave blake for you, but who is one of the middle ones I gotta find okay.

Speaker 1:

So we got the six, we got jonah, jeff and kate, and then we've got at the eights. We've got jane and uh, I'm not gonna put those aren't middle of the road, those are kind of high seeds. Here would be nia, meg and dwight. So I'll put I'll guess what, I'll put nia as as kind of our middle of the road. So we've got David Tapp as the high, nia as the middle and Sable as the low, and those will be our choices for next week. The talking shit about survivors are deep fucking dives on them. I don't remember we had a song. I'm going to have to make up a song, a new song, whenever we do a deep dive in their lore, which I'll work on that this week, and then I'll post a poll over which one we should go over next week.

Speaker 1:

So that'll be my fucking assignment there. So, yeah, that is it for that. And then we've got one more thing that we need to talk about. Do you know what it is? I think you know what it is. It's not little Josh's catfish house. It's something entirely, entirely different, and I'm I'm very, very excited about it. It's our. It is our one and only segment. Do I have the? I have the sound queued up, I believe. Where is it? Is it this one? Where the fuck are the viewers from? Where the fuck are the viewers from? See, I've got the sounds like ready to rock man, and this is one of the better ones, I think. Dallas, texas, yes, grab your hats, man. Yeah, yes, oklahoma, all about. I'm asking Nikki to tell us about where the fuck are the viewers from Hang on.

Speaker 1:

Do you have any stories from this place? Anything crazy happen? Where should I go if I visit there? I already mentioned this place once, I believe, but we didn't go into it. They're a very recent listener. Let me get it. I'm getting it. Hang on, we're getting there. Hang on. Where the fuck did I was from? Let's fucking find out. Okay, oh man, we got a little guitar solo in here, I love it.

Speaker 1:

It's good, that's good shit right there. Where the fuck, where the fuck are the the fuck Are the viewers from? Are the viewers from? Where are they from?

Speaker 2:

From the mountains to the seas, keep watching motherfuckers. Oh, where the fuck are the viewers from?

Speaker 1:

Let's fuck around and find out. Tell me who's watching. Who's got the guts? Who does have the guts?

Speaker 3:

I don't know who's got the fucking? Oh God, here we go.

Speaker 1:

Our city this week, by the way, is fucking Nagoya Aichi. Nagoya, yes, there we go, fucking Nagoya Aichi. I don't even know where you are. Nagoya, let me see, I've got a Nagoya Nagoya. I don't even know if I'm pronouncing that right. Nagoya Aichi is a city in Japan. It's located on the Pacific coast, in central Honshu. It is the fourth most populous city in Japan, is that right? Oh, with a population of 2.3 million, oh, wow, that's a lot of fucking people. And it's right there in, like central Japan. Okay, so it looks beautiful. By the way, you look beautiful, nagoya. But Nikki, tell me about Nagoya. Have you ever been there? Do you have any big stories of being in Nagoya? What is it like in Nagoya? Tell?

Speaker 3:

me, hi yo Nagoya Aichi. Now, that's a spot I ain't got no direct stories from, but you know me, I always got something to say. Yes, tell us something. If I were to go, you know I'd be looking for the underground scene. Yes, right Some hidden joint where they got real respect for the family? Maybe a noodle shop run by an old school wise guy who mysteriously disappeared from Little Italy? Who's to?

Speaker 1:

say I can't, this is too much.

Speaker 3:

If you're visiting, you gotta check out Nagoya Castle.

Speaker 1:

What is Nagoya Castle Respect?

Speaker 3:

is important and that place got history.

Speaker 1:

It does.

Speaker 3:

Then hit Osu Shopping Street. It's got history, it does.

Speaker 1:

Then hit Osu Shopping Street. By the way, it's not Osu Shopping-a-shaw, although that sounds like this, is he?

Speaker 3:

speaking Japanese. Now, you never know, might find a rare Ghostface mask or some bootleg Saban merch. If you do, you owe me a cut.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so go to the Osu Shopping. I want to pull up. Hang on, let me pull up Osu shopping district. I want to see what this. If you guys are at home, let's pull up the Osu shopping district and see what this. Okay, I'm at the Nagoya City Guide right here on nagoya-infojp. Oh wow, this place is packed. This place is like a fucking big. This is not a small town. This week they have people breathing fire, fucking in gold. They're fucking, they're bathed in gold and not wearing clothing, and Japanese people are taking pictures of them breathing fucking fire. That's insanity.

Speaker 1:

They even have the major tourist spots of Nagoya. What are these? They have a Toyota Museum. They have a Noritake Garden. They have the Hisaya Odori Park. They've got Oasis 21. The Chubu Electric Power. We have the Nagoya City Science Museum.

Speaker 1:

Hang on, can I call the Nagoya City Science Museum? Are they open today? What time is it there? It's 1700. What time?

Speaker 1:

Hang on, let me see Nagoya. Was it Nagoya? Is that what I said? Nagoya City? I'll try. I will try to call them, depending on what Nagoya City Science Museum. Okay, what time is it in Nagoya right now? What time is it in Nagoya? It's 1150 pm.

Speaker 1:

They're not going to be open. Is there something that's currently open right now in Nagoya? I have to find something, and I feel like this is going to peter out because I'm not going to be able to find anything that's open. If I go to the shopping district, will they have? There'll be a shop open, I'm sure. Right, okay, here we go.

Speaker 1:

This is the telephone. Oh, jesus Christ, what am I doing? I'm calling Japan. Okay, how much is this going to cost me? Hang on. 815. Okay, 261 and 2287.

Speaker 1:

Okay, here we go. I'm calling what? It can't be completed. That's a phone number on their fucking website. What shops are there? Hang on, there are shops. I think whenever I was looking on Google, it actually gave some Shave Shaving, shave, some shops. It gave some shops In Oshu Shogatani street there. Um, can't, there's nothing, there's nothing I can find. That gives a fucking phone number to a single shop here. What if I go to google maps? Here we go there. There's gotta be pizzeria. There's a pizzeria right here pizzeria brasieras caesar. Okay, this is. This is on Higashami on street. Do they have a? Do they have a telephone? They do have a tele. They better be open. 815-223-80372.

Speaker 1:

Okay, let's try. Here we go. Why it can't be complete as dialed. Why not do any of their? Do they have phone numbers here? They've got to have phone numbers, let's do.

Speaker 1:

Also, brazil they have a brazilian fucking restaurant. Okay, one one more. I'm gonna try one more. I don't know why the fuck are none of these numbers working. Hang on, okay. Plus, maybe I had to put the plus in here and I'm gonna. Okay, it costs 1 000 yen per person to eat at this restaurant.

Speaker 1:

I'm gonna ask what their, what their specials are today, if they, if they answer okay, here we go, here we go, here we go. What are your specials? Do they serve pasta? My friend Nikki wants to know. They're not open. They're not open. They're fucking closed. Now, what place is open? Is a pizza place open? It's closed too. Fuck, it's too late there. I'm doing this in the morning and they're already all closed. You know what? There's a. Okay, here's a hotel. They've got to be open. Hotels have to be open. Okay, here we go. I'll try this one. You have to put the plus sign in whenever you call Japan. By the way, you have to put the plus sign in whenever you call Japan. By the way, 292-2431. What's the name of this place? This place is called the Grand Base Osu. Okay, here, do you have any? Are there any good pasta places? Maybe they'll mention the pizza. Oh, ask if there's pizza nearby.

Speaker 3:

Here we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead you get Nicky Dente, the voice of reason, the maestro of mayhem, the undefeated basement champion of Little Italy. And if you don't like it, take it up with my lawyer. Oh wait, he's busy negotiating pasta rights. With behavior, ah yo Fug it about it.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I'm done with that. I just hung up. I can't. I tried. I thought maybe like they're in the second biggest fucking city, so that didn't go very well. That conversation, I feel like if I could get a hold of little Josh's that would have been a much better conversation. But this is terrible. I'm a terrible fucking person. I just realized it.

Speaker 1:

Oh wait, no, no, sorry, nagoya, but thank you for stopping by Nagoya. We got to go to the castle. We're going to have to try out the fucking the Osu shopping district. I'm going to have to go to the Grand Base Osu Hotel and go apologize to them before we go eat pizza at the fucking what was the name of the pizza place? I can't even think of the Bersera Pizza Place nearby, and that was where the fuck are the viewers from? Where the fuck are the viewers from? Shit, that might be the last phone call I ever make to Japan. Do you realize that might be the first and the last Japanese phone call I ever make? I probably spent $75 on that, by the way. Was it worth?

Speaker 3:

the $75?.

Speaker 1:

Probably not, but it was fun, it was a good experiment. Jesus fucking Christ. Okay, oh yeah, and that's why I'm not big on fucking spotify and apple, the christ fuck. Anyway, that was it for this week. It was a pretty thin week, guys. We'll be back next week to talk about either david tapp, nia or sable, depending on what on what we come up with in the poll, unless there's some kind of big DVD news which we all know, probably not. So anyway, guys, thank you, and then let's go to fucking. Let's go to Satan. Satan, see us out, get the fuck out of my fucking face.

Speaker 2:

Get ready, get the fuck out of my fucking face. The toxic teacher's here to fucking tear you down. From the darkest pits of hell's own arse he rises to fuck up your sorry ass. Farce. Those pathetic survivors whining like pussies Gonna get reimbattered by his ruthless fucking strategy. You weak ass fuckers thought you could survive, but I'll watch you crumble, your sorry souls deprived. Every hook, every scream, every desperate plea Is fuel for his wrath. As he shreds you to debris, yapping them soundly, yapping the soot Toots, toots in throng. Rise your mind, get your sorry asses Shattered, fucked and blown.

Speaker 2:

Fuckin' Dwight, your pathetic cry means squat. Meg. You're whimpering like a little fucking tot. Claudette, jake and all your sorry crew. You're about to get your asses kicked through and through. I see you squirming, begging for a way out, but your whining ain't worth a damn. No doubt the toxic teacher's on a rampage, a fucking storm Ready to rain down havoc and fuck every door. This isn't a fucking game, it's your end. You spineless, lame, oh toxic teacher, you magnificent son of a bitch, show these fuckers what it means to get hit. Unleash your rage, let your fury run wild. Smash these sorry survivors like a bunch of pissing children defiled. Every cry, every curse, every desperate plea Is nothing but fuel for your goddamn spree. Now watch them break. Watch their pathetic dreams shatter as you carve your name in their sorry-ass manner, hurting them softly, fucking, destroy, priest, toxic, turn. Why is your mind? Get your sorry asses Shattered, fucked and blind. Guitar solo. May your pathetic souls rot as the toxic teacher fucks every last one of you. Thank you.

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