Ep. 60 - Words from the Don, Dog A-Holes, and DbD Skull Merchant Fury!

Ay yo, listen up. Welcome to Episode 60 of Camping Them Softly, the only Dead by Daylight podcast with any goddamn respect. The Toxic Teacher is hackin' up a lung, my voice model sounds like it got run over by a Zamboni, but I'm here to carry the show like always. This episode, we're talkin' the Skull Merchant developer meltdown that made killer mains absolutely feral, and we're launchin' a new segment so legendary, they'll write about it in the history books: A Word From The Don.

Inside this episode of pure, unadulterated chaos:

• The Skull Merchant Debacle: We break down the one quote from a BHVR VFX artist that sent the entire Skull Merchant cult into a tailspin. You love to see it.
• Record-Breaking Numbers: Camping Them Softly had its biggest month ever. You're welcome for my service.
• A Word From The Don: My new life advice segment officially kicks off. You got problems? I got solutions. Don't like 'em? Fuggedaboutit.
• Twisted Masquerade is Trash: We drag this year's DbD anniversary event for its bullshit party pallets and cosmetics that look like they came from a dollar store.
• BHVR's Useless Survey: We take a look at the "choose-your-own-chapter" survey and tell you why it’s a waste of time when they should just be listening to me.
• Where the Fuck Are the Viewers From?: This week, we head to Surrey, British Columbia. You'll hear the real, untold story of the infamous Caesar Cocktail Heist—a SABAM operation against the Tea Time Terror Squad's crumpet smuggling ring.

A Historic First: A Word From The Don

Episode 60 births a new fuckin' legacy. Think Dear Abby, but if Abby was a wiseguy from Little Italy who tells you your problems are stupid and you need to show more respect. I'm settlin' family feuds, declarin' war on lap dogs, and givin' out the kinda advice that gets results. Bow your heads. The Don has spoken.

NICKY'S OFFICIAL BODY COUNT FOR EPISODE 60

• 1 melted candle face (yours, from listenin' to my raw, unfiltered greatness).
• 5 tea-drinking British Claudettes sent back to their queen in a fuckin' box.
• 3 dead voice models that I personally resurrected with duct tape and spite.
• 1 dog's asshole parked on a dinner table. Friendship is temporary; respect is forever.
• 27 forced Limp Bizkit loops. Sorry, Fred, it was for the good of the show.
• 1 BHVR dev who had to go into witness protection after the Skull Merchant mains lost their minds.
• 4 gallons of Clamato juice, strategically deployed during our Canadian turf war.
• 12 of your lung-butter coughs that almost blew out the goddamn mic.
• 1 rage-quit during BHVR's pathetic choose-your-own-adventure survey.
• ∞ stunads who've been blessed with my life-changing advice.

Check me out everywhere!

https://linktr.ee/thetoxicteacher

Chapters

• 0:00 INTRO!
• 20:14 DBD CONTROVERSY!
• 37:23 SURVEY!
• 42:07 A WORD FROM THE DON!
• 1:03:35 WHERE THE F*CK ARE THE VIEWERS FROM?
• 1:15:44 OUTRO SONG GENRE SELECTION!

Transcript

[00:00:03:11 - 00:00:08:22]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh, it's me. It's me, the toxic teacher, everybody.

[00:00:09:38 - 00:00:39:12]
Toxic Teacher
 You're here. You are here for the thousandth time. Probably. I don't know, the hundredth time, the tenth time, the second time. I don't give a shit. And yes, I'm going to cuss in the first 30 seconds of the show. You're here on camping themselves. Shut the fuck up. I'm trying to talk here. You're here on camping them softly and you might hear a little bit different. It is not you that has like a hearing issue.

[00:00:39:12 - 00:00:40:31]
Stone Cold
 Where the hell is this crap?

[00:00:40:31 - 00:00:46:15]
Toxic Teacher
 I am feeling a little under the weather and I know you're very upset about that.

[00:00:47:29 - 00:01:09:45]
Toxic Teacher
 I know, I don't know what has happened. I caught something over the week. I've been coughing like a fucking lunatic for days now. Everybody has been like, shut the fuck up. I'm sick of hearing you cough. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna see either number one, does screaming prevent coughing? Because if it does, then we're gonna be in the clear.

[00:01:09:45 - 00:01:10:48]
 (Audience Applauding)

[00:01:10:48 - 00:01:12:34]
Toxic Teacher
 Or number two,

[00:01:13:46 - 00:01:46:28]
Toxic Teacher
 am I going to have a complete breakdown by the time this show is over? I don't know which one is going to happen, but that's part of the fun of camping them softly, right? We never know what's gonna happen until it actually does. Be it good, be it some kind of stroke of fucking genius, or be it episode 57 where everything fucking fell apart or episode 50. I don't even know anymore. This is episode, I think we're on episode 60. Are we on 60 yet? I think we are 60. We are 60.

[00:01:47:28 - 00:01:47:30]
 (Audience Applauding)

[00:01:47:30 - 00:01:53:58]
Toxic Teacher
 And I've got new sounds here for 60, just for 60. Hang on, let me see, let me see.

[00:01:53:58 - 00:01:58:15]
Toxic Teacher
 Roll it roll it roll it roll it That's perfect, right? That's perfect.

[00:01:58:15 - 00:02:09:52]
Toxic Teacher
 We're rolling at 60. I don't know, Limb Bisket may come after me. This podcast is getting too big. They may come at me because I'm doing better than Fred Durst now, right? Hang on.

[00:02:09:52 - 00:02:10:16]
Adele
 Hello

[00:02:12:33 - 00:02:13:03]
Adele
 It's me

[00:02:13:03 - 00:02:15:42]
Toxic Teacher
 I know it's terrible. Hey, and I was looking.

[00:02:16:49 - 00:02:17:59]
Toxic Teacher
 See, there it is.

[00:02:19:42 - 00:02:57:59]
Toxic Teacher
 There it is. Okay, see, I was wondering how far I could get through. We made it two minutes and 22 seconds in, and I'm already starting to lose it. So we'll see if I can even go an hour. I don't even know. I have an hour of material. I don't know if we're gonna get that far. Anyway, guys, follow me, ToxicTeacherTTV, on all the socials on Twitch. You can find me streaming there irregularly. Also, you can find me on YouTube, The Toxic Teacher. We've also got our website, BarelyUp, TheToxicTeacher.com. Also, campingthemsoftly.com is up. But I think it's just gonna reroute to toxicteacher.com. Anyway,

[00:02:59:16 - 00:03:03:47]
Toxic Teacher
 and then the Discord, you can find all that shit. It's in the show notes or whatever it is.

[00:03:05:03 - 00:03:27:34]
Toxic Teacher
 Anyway, what were we talking about? We were talking about how I'm probably gonna die by the end of this episode. We got a lot of shit on this agenda. I actually wrote down an agenda. I figure we've gotta do something. But anyway, what was I, oh yeah, Adele. I was talking about the Adele sound, right? So anyway, I was looking for a hello sound. I found the Adele one, but then I was like, oh, there's an even better one.

[00:03:27:34 - 00:03:28:11]
Adele
 Hello

[00:03:31:10 - 00:03:34:06]
Adele
 Hello Is it me you're looking for It's me

[00:03:35:37 - 00:03:40:02]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh, I've never played about it at the same time. That was pretty awesome. What about this one? This one, oh yeah.

[00:03:42:02 - 00:03:51:04]
Toxic Teacher
 We need this one. We've needed it quite often whenever I'm trying to come up with something. And then I got one for like, hey, you know how those awkward times whenever I'm waiting for Nikki to do something?

[00:03:51:04 - 00:03:53:10]
 (Upbeat Music)

[00:03:53:10 - 00:04:43:34]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh yeah, Haley doesn't like that. I need to stop for Haley. If you guys don't know, check out episode 59. Does this not stop at any point? Okay, there we go. It does stop at some point. Anyway, so guys, I wanna thank you episode or not episode fucking June, 2025. By the way, we're not even done yet. This is the biggest month in the history of camping them softly in terms of downloads. This is the biggest ever. And I've got you guys to kind of thank for it. It's mainly me because I'm the one making them. And you would not have the show if it wasn't for me. But I see, I can't even stop it. Can I flush them out? No, I thought I could.

[00:04:45:32 - 00:05:09:23]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh, there we go. Did that work? No, kind of. They got most of them out. Yeah, we didn't get them all out. Anyway, biggest month ever. Thank you guys for that. I deserve all of the praise that you guys give me. I do not deserve what Haley gave again, episode 59, if you wanna figure out more. Okay, so the question is where are we gonna go from here?

[00:05:10:26 - 00:06:00:22]
Toxic Teacher
 We had some issues this week. I fucked up Nikki's voice model. You know, Nikki's voice has been a little bit off lately. I fucked up his voice model to the point where I had to basically rebuild the shit because I can't go into AI and how the whole AI thing works. But I had fucked it up and you know how you're supposed to save a backup of something before you start fucking with it. I don't do that kind of shit and I paid for it. And so I was aggressively trying to fix all that shit. I finally got it, but it took a lot of time. So I think it's better. You may not think so, but I think to me, it seems a little bit better than it has been the past couple episodes, but you're gonna find out. I'm gonna say, "Hey, Nikki, how the fuck is it going?"

[00:06:02:12 - 00:06:13:32]
Toxic Teacher
 We're on big number 60, number 60 of camping them softly. And we're gonna talk about a lot of shit today.

[00:06:16:29 - 00:06:17:31]
Toxic Teacher
 How was your week,

[00:06:18:34 - 00:07:25:31]
Toxic Teacher
 bitch? Question mark, there we go. That's what's gonna get it. Okay, we're on big episode number 60. By the way, I have changed his thought model, not just his voice model, but his thought model. So if he's acting a little bit different, you might know why. That one I did save a backup of. So this is just, we're just testing everything out. We're testing the water. By the way, guys, if we wanna get into what all we're gonna talk about today, DVD, we're gonna talk about the controversy with the developers, talking about the skull merchant. I don't know if you saw any of that this week. X went crazy about it. We're also gonna live, we're gonna do the survey. They're having the first survey of that, like choose your own chapter bullshit. I have not done that yet because I wanted to do it live on stream. We're also gonna talk about the Twilight Masquerade event. And then we're gonna talk about some statistics related stuff. So that's what our day is going to look like. And notice, wow, he's very, he's fucking, he's rolling today. He's rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling That's great.

[00:07:25:31 - 00:07:29:10]
Toxic Teacher
 See, whenever I'm on fire, I got it. I got it, I got it.

[00:07:30:11 - 00:07:47:05]
Toxic Teacher
 Rolling, rolling. I used to love Limbiscat. I don't know if you did, and I don't care if you did. I did. Let me see here. Do we have, we have Nikki here talking about episode 60. It may or may not sound like him. I don't know. We're gonna find out though. It could be good, could

[00:07:47:05 - 00:07:53:17]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 be bad, could be in between. Episode 60? Yeah. 60 fucking episodes of me.

[00:07:54:29 - 00:08:01:01]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Of what? 60 fucking episodes. Here on the goddamn podcast on my back, while you'll teach you, sit there looking like a melted candle.

[00:08:01:01 - 00:08:01:49]
 (Laughing)

[00:08:01:49 - 00:08:03:12]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Un-fucking-believable.

[00:08:04:34 - 00:08:06:50]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 We should get a medal, or at least ice.

[00:08:06:50 - 00:08:21:11]
Toxic Teacher
 Hey, hang on. I think it's loading and that's why. See, I upgraded the model, but it takes a little bit longer to load. I don't know that I look, I do kind of look like a melted candle. I look more like a busted can of biscuits. Hello

[00:08:22:43 - 00:08:31:56]
Toxic Teacher
 You notice I'm staying on this page of the sounds. If I go to this page of the sounds, you could probably piece together my entire sound board just by like.

[00:08:31:56 - 00:08:33:45]
Subway Jingle
 You're not good with that.

[00:08:33:45 - 00:08:34:49]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 Gotta give him that fuck.

[00:08:37:00 - 00:08:37:05]
 (Laughing)

[00:08:38:28 - 00:08:51:49]
Toxic Teacher
 Notice all those are kind of on the same, on the same page. Well, literally on the same page on the fucking sound board. All right, Nikki, let's go back here. I need to hear the melted candle. Yo, episode 60?

[00:08:51:49 - 00:09:31:31]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Yeah, 60, bitch. 60 fucking episodes of me carrying this goddamn podcast on my back while you teach you, sit there looking like a melted candle. Yes, correct. It's fucking believable. I know it is. If you get a medal, or at least I should. I probably should too. How was my week? Yeah. You wanna know how my week was? It was a goddamn international incident. That's how it was. Oh Jesus Christ. I'm trying to run some respectable trials with my boy Ghostfang. She'll conduct a little business. Oh, he's back on the Ghostfang. Every single match, I get a four stack of Claudettes. Oh Jesus. And their names, proper Pippin Patricia. Uh-oh. Biscuit Berry. Uh-oh. It's British Breakfast Eddie. And the big man himself,

[00:09:32:47 - 00:10:25:52]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 proper Gaming UK. We all know who that is. It's the fucking Tea Time Terror Squad. They're organizing. Oh, great. That tea drinking British snake has mobilized his entire goddamn country against me. This ain't matchmaking. This is a fucking coordinated attack. Oh Jesus. I swear to God the lag felt British. It was polite, but it was stabbing me in the back every time I tried to lunge. Blatantly anti-Italian tech. One million fucking percent true. So I had to switch to the unholy Uber and my legacy, the veal cutthroat. Let Victor do the talking. Had that little, special goblin leaping on their heads so fast they were spilling tea all over the goddamn McMillan estate. So yeah, my week was hell. But we're here. Yeah. On the air. Yeah. And he's still not jolishin' it. What is a stew not? He should always be forever stroke thinking about crumpets. Capiche. Capiche, capiche.

[00:10:25:52 - 00:10:28:04]
Subway Jingle
 Get the subway for the spicy Italian.

[00:10:28:04 - 00:10:46:30]
Toxic Teacher
 Now here's my question is what is a stew nod? I have never, I have never once in my life, what the fuck is a stew? I'm gonna ask him what the fuck is a stew nod? Is it stew nad or stew nod? Actually I'm gonna have to look up the actual proper,

[00:10:47:59 - 00:11:05:28]
Toxic Teacher
 the real definition because I don't know if I'm gonna get the real one. Although it's weird, it's a Neapolitan dialect used by and not anti Italian American. What the fuck? What if it was exclusively used by anti Italian Americans?

[00:11:05:28 - 00:11:06:15]
Adele
 Hello

[00:11:08:27 - 00:11:09:04]
Adele
 It's me

[00:11:11:31 - 00:11:41:39]
Toxic Teacher
 No, nothing. I got nervous. I had two missed schools. This gives me time to cough as well. Now you see the genius there? Okay, here we go. What the fuck is a stew nod? It actually is a real term that Italian Americans use, not Italians, but Italian Americans. All right, here we go. I'm not excited, but we can't always be excited about everything that happens on camping them softly. The podcast coming for you, coming to kick that.

[00:11:41:39 - 00:11:46:59]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Hey yo, what the fuck is a stew nod? What? You serious? You been listening to this podcast.

[00:11:48:11 - 00:12:08:35]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Hang on, what the fuck just happened? Hey yo, what the fuck is a stew nod? You serious? You been listening to this podcast for 60 episodes and you ain't picked up on the lingo? No, you just started using it. Surrounded by incompetence. Well, what the fuck? A stew nod. Yes. S-T-U-N-A-D is a classic from the old country, you know? It is? It's what we call an idiot.

[00:12:10:31 - 00:12:16:10]
Toxic Teacher
 Well, we're learning something new as he repeatedly, oh yeah, what am I supposed to do whenever it freezes?

[00:12:17:53 - 00:12:18:22]
Toxic Teacher
 There we go.

[00:12:19:45 - 00:12:23:13]
Toxic Teacher
 This is perfect. See, Hailey loves this shit right now.

[00:12:23:13 - 00:12:33:07]
Toxic Teacher
 You see, I can't put photos down Now you're gonna die Anthony, Anthony. Yeah, I can do anything right now.

[00:12:33:07 - 00:12:37:35]
Toxic Teacher
 Now you're gonna die And then see, watch, I stop it, and then we're ready to go.

[00:12:38:47 - 00:13:26:25]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 I'm gonna go back 10 seconds now. Surrounded by incompetence. No, you're not. A stew nod, S-T-U-N-A-D is a classic from the old country. It's what we call an idiot, a fool, a goddamn moron. It's my go-to word for anyone acting like a toad or a bony. Think of it as my replacement for calling someone a noob or a dummy, but with more authentic flavor. I like it. It's what I call a survivor who self cares in a corner while the teammate dies on first hook. Which is most of them. It's what I call that bald, washed up, tea drinking host I'm stuck with. Hey, thank you. Sometimes I call you listening to stew nods, but that's affectionate. That's true. Like, you're my idiots. But for you to not know, that's some top tier grade A stew nod behavior right there. No, it's not. Don't ask me no more dumbass questions, Capiche. Ah, fuck it.

[00:13:28:52 - 00:13:58:47]
Toxic Teacher
 I've got this one page here and I'm excited about my eight new sounds I put on here. You're gonna hear Limb Biskit until I determine it's an appropriate time for you not to be hearing one biscuit, which is never because it's always an appropriate time to hear the soothing sounds of Roland by Fred Durst, Wes Borland and the other two that I can't even name. And I don't know that anyone else could if a gun was put to their head. Anyway,

[00:13:59:49 - 00:14:13:32]
Toxic Teacher
 so we got the stuff about Nikki's models. Nikki held this week, but I think we're ready to go into some Dead by Daylight stuff. You know what that means, right? Do you know what that means? I don't know if you know what that means.

[00:14:13:32 - 00:14:15:42]
 (Crowd Singing)

[00:14:20:15 - 00:14:24:19]
Toxic Teacher
 I can drink water, right? Can I drink? Can I take a fucking drink?

[00:14:28:05 - 00:14:30:17]
Toxic Teacher
 Wow, Roland doesn't go with that.

[00:14:30:17 - 00:14:34:56]
 (Laughing)

[00:14:34:56 - 00:14:38:29]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 New killer suck Fuck! Survivors OP

[00:14:39:30 - 00:14:43:34]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 Another goddamn patch and it's breaking my PC

[00:14:44:53 - 00:14:47:26]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 Still checks my end Jesus fucking shit!

[00:14:47:26 - 00:14:48:43]
 (Laughing)

[00:14:48:43 - 00:14:52:59]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 Why the fuck Why still play

[00:14:52:59 - 00:14:58:37]
Toxic Teacher
 this track Fucking I'm coughing up a lung! Fucking news Fucking news That's not good

[00:14:59:59 - 00:15:06:15]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 Fucking news Oh yeah It's the toxic fucking news Okay. Flashlights blinding

[00:15:07:46 - 00:15:10:58]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 Killers in pain Fucking mad Muck dates

[00:15:10:58 - 00:15:14:18]
Toxic Teacher
 coming That's like Vietnam all over again. Fucking!

[00:15:14:18 - 00:15:15:42]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 Survivors complain

[00:15:15:42 - 00:15:16:53]
Toxic Teacher
 Hey God, we'll get there.

[00:15:16:53 - 00:15:18:15]
Toxic Teacher
 Watch,

[00:15:19:22 - 00:15:23:30]
Toxic Teacher
 everybody has stopped listening to this. My Europeans are gone. They're all gone.

[00:15:25:24 - 00:15:28:43]
Toxic Teacher
 The toxic fucking news All right, now we slide out.

[00:15:28:43 - 00:16:48:05]
Toxic Teacher
 Remember how we slide? Whoa, we slide. See, like adults, like a fucking dolts. There we go. So, toxic news, let's go. What do we got to talk about this week? Okay, so we got this skull merchant controversy. I don't know if you heard about this shit. It's fucking goofy as hell. I'm gonna go ahead and open with that. And I'm gonna need like a, I'm gonna need, okay, so give me a detailed breakdown of that skull merchant controversy that happened this week. I didn't even know about this until I got on X and I saw everybody was fucking flipping out. It's the same 12 people that dig shit up and always have some kind of beef with somebody. There's always beef with somebody. And it's like, what topic are we gonna beat to fucking death every single week, just so we can get some clicks, so we can get some attention. Someone say, give me a detailed breakdown of that skull merchant controversy on X this week. All right, because I don't even know the whole story. I've only seen posts here and there. Hey, let me give mine to fucking sense on what I think about this person saying this. Apparently what happened was somebody from behavior

[00:16:49:46 - 00:17:10:45]
Toxic Teacher
 in the anniversary stream said something about skull merchant and skull merchant names or something like that. So it said June, 2025, a developer, specifically a VFX artist made a lighthearted comment that said, I don't like the skull merchant either. That's what they said.

[00:17:10:45 - 00:17:11:25]
Adele
 Hello,

[00:17:13:26 - 00:17:14:12]
Adele
 it's me

[00:17:14:12 - 00:17:15:22]
Toxic Teacher
 I can breathe.

[00:17:16:34 - 00:18:14:55]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, anyway, said, I don't like it. It was included in a quote in the anniversary events content as a nod to the well-known frustration. So I guess it was on one of those little fucking things at the bottom, the loading screen or whatever. I think, I don't know. It says the comment was intended as a joke because people always talk about how much they hate skull merchant, right? So they say, oh, this is a fucking joke, whatever. All right, so people go fucking berserk over this fucking joke. It was perceived by some players as unprofessional or dismissive igniting a firestorm on X. It says outrage, some skull merchant, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, a subset of players took the comment personally, leading to harassment of the developer included targeted attacks on the Twitter account, which reportedly forced her to send it to private.

[00:18:14:55 - 00:18:16:28]
Stone Cold
 What in the hell is this crap?

[00:18:17:41 - 00:18:40:47]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay, one user describes skull merchant players as having lost their fucking minds and gone rabid over the joke. That 100%, this is fucking stupid. Most people don't like skull merchants. So even if a developer says, who gives a fucking shit what they have to say? It just, who cares if they like it or don't?

[00:18:41:53 - 00:19:38:26]
Toxic Teacher
 Developers will make something and they may not like it. Who gives a flying fuck, play Limb Bizkit. Keep rolling, rolling, rolling Keep rolling, rolling, rolling Keep rolling, rolling, rolling So now this person who was just making a fucking joke has to set their shit to private because these other people lose it over a fucking game. You know what? I can defend most things Killer Mains say and do, but I think that's one thing I can't because that's a bridge too far. Whenever you start going after people on a personal level, dude, fuck it, man. It's a fucking game at the end of the day. That's why I don't understand the survivor main psychosis of how they act and think. And it just, it's fucking, it's insanity. And this is insanity on the killer end, which you don't see nearly as often. We know you don't see it nearly as often,

[00:19:40:00 - 00:20:35:50]
Toxic Teacher
 but we see it here and so we got to call it out. Notice I don't just call out survivors. I'll call out killers when need be. So this is the one rare time that I feel like they should be called out. It's just, no, no. So anywho, that was the, that was a big thing. So I'm not gonna go into it any further. We'll see that, you know, they're having that rework of Skull March. We'll see if that's gonna be, is that gonna make this situation better? Who the fuck knows? I don't even know any Skull March. It means online. I've never seen any to know what the fuck is Randy, the only one he's upset. And so he's going after this woman beats me. I don't give a shit. It's let's move on from there. I think it's time. I don't know. I think that everybody who had something to say about this shit moved on and has gone on to the next thing. I don't know what that next thing is gonna be.

[00:20:38:00 - 00:21:07:25]
Toxic Teacher
 You know, the other thing is talking about how killer, kill rates have gone down. I still don't know. There's a lot of things about that that are up in the air. The developers have said kill rates are not going down. I don't know. I'm not gonna go into a 20 minute thing on that. So that's where we are with that other hot topic. But we've got one big one. Oh yeah. Let's go into Twilight masquerade. Oh yeah. Twilight masquerade. Let me go.

[00:21:07:25 - 00:21:11:18]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 Toxic, toxic news, oh yeah, preacher

[00:21:13:40 - 00:21:15:56]
Toxic Teacher
 It's the toxic fucking news

[00:21:16:56 - 00:21:27:34]
Toxic Teacher
 I swear to God, I'm gonna make it through this fucking episode this week for you people. Even though I don't like any of you, I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make it you sons of bitches.

[00:21:29:10 - 00:21:29:22]
Toxic Teacher
 Survivors.

[00:21:30:46 - 00:21:43:04]
Toxic Teacher
 I'm dying. I'm suffering for you motherfuckers. All right. Toxic fucking news. Getting fucking COVID all over my microphone here. For you.

[00:21:44:39 - 00:21:45:00]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh yeah.

[00:21:46:19 - 00:21:49:29]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay. All right, we're good. We're good for the next thing.

[00:21:50:36 - 00:21:59:25]
Toxic Teacher
 Twilight masquerade or haunted masquerade or messy masquerade, massacre masquerade. I don't even know what it is. It's the masquerade is going on right now.

[00:22:00:25 - 00:22:24:29]
Toxic Teacher
 One of the biggest events of the year. It's the one with the invitations. You get the invitations, you get the fucking party pallets, you get quiet mode. Killers get all kind of shit. There's a lot of stupid cosmetics that most of them have been around in years past. You have a chance to get those again. I'm not a big fan of the cosmetics personally. It's okay. It's like you're going to a fucking ball.

[00:22:25:47 - 00:22:51:47]
Toxic Teacher
 Doesn't appeal to me. I think there's a lot better cosmetics out there. There's a lot better events out there. Actually, you know what? I don't know that there's a lot better events out there. Used to be, I was excited about chaos shovel. I fucking hate it now, which pushes everything else up a little bit. Twilight masquerade might be one of the better events. I can't think of any off the top of my head that are just a lot better. The Halloween one wasn't bad.

[00:22:53:12 - 00:23:00:06]
Toxic Teacher
 2v8 sucks obviously, because you can't ever get into a match. Trying to think of, are there any others?

[00:23:01:15 - 00:23:02:54]
Toxic Teacher
 I can't, I can't think of one.

[00:23:04:16 - 00:23:05:41]
Toxic Teacher
 Hang on, do I have that? Oh yeah.

[00:23:07:30 - 00:23:09:29]
Toxic Teacher
 I can't, I can't think of one.

[00:23:12:29 - 00:23:14:19]
Toxic Teacher
 There we go. That's my thinking music.

[00:23:16:50 - 00:23:17:49]
Toxic Teacher
 And my coughing music.

[00:23:19:31 - 00:23:19:50]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay.

[00:23:20:50 - 00:24:03:26]
Toxic Teacher
 I can't think of any, it might be one of the best. It might be top three, even though there's not a lot going on to it, but it is what it is. And I'm not, it's not thrilling. It's there. I think we need to have fewer events, but make them bigger. That's just my opinion. We have too many events. There's too many fucking things taking us out of regular fucking gameplay. We have maybe at most now one week of regular gameplay every month, because there's always some fucking event that's splitting the queue to where you don't just have a normal fucking match anymore. You don't just have survivor killer. It's turning into fucking Fortnite where you're going to get on a menu. I actually got on Fortnite today for the first time in a while. Hello

[00:24:05:40 - 00:24:20:26]
Toxic Teacher
 Yeah, that was me talking to Fortnite. Is it me you're looking for Or Fortnite talking to me, I don't even give a shit. Anyway, I get on there, there's a menu like, what kind of game modes do you like? There's 7,000 fucking game modes on there. I don't even know a half of them are.

[00:24:22:41 - 00:24:23:56]
Toxic Teacher
 Hey, I play my music.

[00:24:25:16 - 00:24:28:22]
 (Upbeat Music)

[00:24:28:22 - 00:24:29:56]
Toxic Teacher
 I'm not taking it out.

[00:24:29:56 - 00:24:34:19]
Toxic Teacher
 You can listen to it for all I care. It's too much work to edit out all the

[00:24:34:19 - 00:24:34:50]
Toxic Teacher
 coughing.

[00:24:37:56 - 00:25:31:40]
Toxic Teacher
 Yeah, okay, that's it. That's it, turn off, turn off. Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, you got 27 fucking game modes. We're getting there with Dead by Daylight. Right now it's just two, but it's always two now. It's always fucking two game modes. Just give me one good game mode and let that be that. That way we can actually have MMR and all that bullshit. It can track my stats properly and whatnot. I'm not even gonna get into the stats in yet, but I will tell you with Oni, I got like a 60% kill rate. So I'm above average on Oni, which I'm happy about. Okay, so we got the masquerade down. Next thing we gotta do is I gotta open up this fucking survey here on fucking Dead by Daylight. On BHVR. Let me see if I can find it. A survey. It's like a chapter survey, right? Isn't that what it is?

[00:25:33:48 - 00:25:38:49]
Toxic Teacher
 I can't remember what the name of the fucking survey is.

[00:25:40:00 - 00:26:21:49]
Toxic Teacher
 Let me see if I can figure this fucking shit out. All right, still looking for this shit. Okay, so it's the grimoire, the grimoire.deadbydaylight.com. This is where we're gonna figure out what the next fucking chapter's gonna be. So, oh my God. I've gone to the website. I'm on the website grimoire.com. And there's a fire and there's what appears to be a hammer or something. So I click on the hammer and this book opens up. What the fuck is this? Why can't it just be a fucking survey? We're trying to make it exciting here. And I have no idea.

[00:26:23:00 - 00:27:15:19]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, so the book says something. So we're, oh, this is gonna be an experience. It's not just a survey. It's a fucking experience to behold, to believe in. How do you like me now Now that I'm on my way Okay, experience. I guess we could call it, it's not a survey. It's no longer a survey. We are this changing our life. Okay, so in the grimoire, the book, the legendary book of the devil, fog flurries around you. It chills your bones and whips across your blinking eyes. Your steps are heavy. The darkness is infinite, stretching out in every direction. If it was infinite, wouldn't it obviously stretch out in every direction? I don't know. Every fiber of your being tells you to keep walking to stop here is to die.

[00:27:17:41 - 00:27:35:52]
Toxic Teacher
 Memories claw their way back to your subconscious. Something has taken you, pulled you from your home into this blackest landscape of endless storms. I wasn't, was this a poem? No, it wasn't a poem. Tell me, where is home? Where do you come from?

[00:27:36:58 - 00:27:54:08]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh my God. Okay, so these are, it's like a choose your own adventure type thing which I'm actually, I am not, here we go. Here's what we're gonna do. I am not going to complete this survey. You know who is going to complete the survey for me. Get this subway for the spicy Italian.

[00:27:55:15 - 00:27:57:24]
Toxic Teacher
 We're gonna have Nikki complete this fucking survey.

[00:27:57:24 - 00:27:57:56]
Adele
 Anthony,

[00:27:59:05 - 00:28:02:38]
Adele
 Anthony. Wait till you see her yipp-a photos, Donna. You're gonna die.

[00:28:02:38 - 00:28:25:15]
Toxic Teacher
 All right, so I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say this. Okay, okay. Okay, Nikki, let me say this. Behavior, BHVR is having a survey thing they call the grimoire to help decide new killers and new survivors.

[00:28:26:40 - 00:28:43:06]
Toxic Teacher
 New killers and survivors for the next chapter. You're gonna take the survey and it's like a choose your own adventure thing.

[00:28:44:26 - 00:28:46:42]
Toxic Teacher
 So answer this one.

[00:28:47:43 - 00:29:06:35]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, so I'm gonna paste, I'm gonna, fuck it. I can't with that. That thing is loud as fuck. Okay, hang on. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, this whole fog flurries, fog fumes around you. All right, so there we go. And then I'm gonna have to post the other thing from the grimoire.

[00:29:07:36 - 00:29:43:49]
Toxic Teacher
 I don't, Jesus Christ. This is gonna, I don't know what this is gonna be like by the end. And I'm gonna, no, I'm not going to apologize. I almost said I was gonna apologize, but obviously I'm not. All right, here we go. And so the options you have where it says, where are you from? It says an ordinary world. My world is just like yours. Familiar, mundane, and predictable. A collapsed world. The apocalypse isn't coming. It is happening. Donald Trump has been elected president. My world is unraveling, swallowed, whole by chaos and ruin.

[00:29:45:04 - 00:29:46:32]
 (Upbeat Music)

[00:29:46:32 - 00:29:58:53]
Toxic Teacher
 A touched world. In my world, supernatural elements are rare, but undeniably real. Most people go their entire lives without witnessing them. What? Hello

[00:30:01:17 - 00:30:09:05]
Toxic Teacher
 In-world, what you call the arcane is our science. Gods are fuel and humanity believes it holds the reins.

[00:30:10:11 - 00:30:11:40]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh Jesus, okay.

[00:30:13:08 - 00:30:19:54]
Toxic Teacher
 Now let me see, okay. Here we go. Okay, Nikki is actually gonna play along. So that is exciting.

[00:30:21:00 - 00:30:38:56]
Toxic Teacher
 All right, let me throw him in here and then we'll keep going. I am not excited about this at all. And I don't know where this is gonna go. This could be the worst garbage we've ever done on camping them softly, but I'm not gonna give it up. I never do.

[00:30:38:56 - 00:30:42:17]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Yeah, what is this? Some kind of psychological profile you trying to get in my head?

[00:30:42:17 - 00:30:43:17]
 (Laughs)

[00:30:43:17 - 00:30:50:50]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Good luck. The only thing in here is marinara, rage, and a list of very survival was ever disrespected me. I do believe that. But all right, I'll play you a little game.

[00:30:50:50 - 00:30:55:48]
Toxic Teacher
 Hey, y'all, let's, oh yeah, we've got the thing. We've got the thing for whatever he lags.

[00:30:56:50 - 00:30:56:50]
 (Upbeat Music)

[00:30:58:29 - 00:31:06:54]
Toxic Teacher
 That's the worst fucking, this is the podcast. Hailey, you were right about us. You know that, right? You know you were right about us.

[00:31:08:24 - 00:31:10:40]
Toxic Teacher
 But no, you're wrong because we can keep going.

[00:31:10:40 - 00:31:30:02]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Hey, let's see, where do I come from? It's gotta be a touched world. See, you Stoonons out there, you think this is all just a game. Hey, you said Stoonons again. You think it's a coincidence that my connection gets shitty every time Mercury is retro-gradin directly over little Italy. That ain't leg, pal. That's the cosmos showing disrespect. Most people,

[00:31:30:02 - 00:31:45:45]
Toxic Teacher
 most people don't see it. Hey, did you know by the way that sound is playing through Nikki, that weird piano sound is playing in the background. I don't know why he's having music playing, or is he real? Is this really happening? Who the fuck knows?

[00:31:45:45 - 00:32:20:48]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 They don't see the signs. They don't know that my pasta shrine actually reduces my ping. They don't believe that the entity itself personally requested my Nona's secret sauce recipe. They think that tea-drinking bastard Earl Grey wins cause of skill, and not because of some dark, crumpet-based witch crap he's cooking up in England. My world ain't mundane. It's got layers. It's got forces at play you can't even comprehend. Most people go their whole lives without witnessing it. But me? I live there. I am the supernatural event. I believe that. So yeah, touched world. Now what's the next dumbass question before I DC out of this survey?

[00:32:20:48 - 00:32:23:01]
Speaker 15
 Anthony! Anthony!

[00:32:23:01 - 00:32:26:58]
Toxic Teacher
 Wait, do you see how you hear about the photos? You got that guy!

[00:32:26:58 - 00:33:19:58]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, so we gotta do touch world is our thing. Where was it? Touched world. Okay, there we go. And then what do I do? It doesn't even tell me what to do. Do I click the killer page? Or you can click the survivor page, or is the killer page the next page? It doesn't make sense. It's a book, and on the right side is the killer icon. On the left side is the survivor icon. So I don't know what means what. If you click the right page, does that take you to the next page, or does it take you to a killer thing? I have no fucking idea. And this is not well thought out by them. Okay, we're on page two. Are you excited about page fucking two? Because I know I am excited about page fucking two. Okay, you emerged from the silence, the ceiling, the walls, the floor. I need background music while I'm doing this.

[00:33:19:58 - 00:33:20:18]
 (Upbeat Music)

[00:33:21:18 - 00:33:24:30]
Toxic Teacher
 The floor, the statues that surround you.

[00:33:24:30 - 00:33:40:29]
Toxic Teacher
 They are all made of stone, a crypt, a vault your head swims with the sounds of Limp Biscuit. You roll over to your feet when you come face to face with a puddle, pooling in a worn out groove, set into the floor.

[00:33:40:29 - 00:33:42:32]
 (Upbeat Music)

[00:33:42:32 - 00:34:14:20]
Toxic Teacher
 Shit, that was the wrong one. You gotta give him that hook. That's not what the puddle is. You stare into the rippling water, the form that stares back at you, it's difficult to make out, but it's shape. Your shape soon becomes evident. It says, tell me what shape do you see staring back at you? Oh God, are you serious? Oh, sexy girlfriend. That's not the shape that I see. We have some choices here and I'm actually, I'm gonna,

[00:34:14:20 - 00:34:15:24]
 (Coughs)

[00:34:15:24 - 00:34:21:16]
Toxic Teacher
 what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna fucking cough a lot. That's what I'm gonna fucking do. Play my music.

[00:34:21:16 - 00:34:26:46]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 A toxic fucking noob A toxic fucking music Yes.

[00:34:26:46 - 00:34:29:58]
Toxic Teacher
 A toxic, toxic music We gotta play some coughing music.

[00:34:31:06 - 00:34:32:41]
Toxic Teacher
 Yeah, toxic

[00:34:32:41 - 00:35:16:22]
Toxic Teacher
 fucking moves. All right, from here I'm gonna play songs from the rock opera. After this, if I start a coughing fit, you will hear more and more of the rock opera. I think that should be the case from here on. Okay, so now, what was it? Oh yes, we're staring at a puddle and within that puddle we see our shape and the question is, what is the shape that we see in the puddle of us? I don't know what made the puddle. It said water, it said water, didn't it? I think it did, I think it did. Okay, so here we go. Let's generate and then we're gonna, okay, so your options are grounded.

[00:35:18:18 - 00:35:19:23]
Toxic Teacher
 Spam, what shape go?

[00:35:20:35 - 00:36:30:13]
Toxic Teacher
 Hang on, hang on, I got fucked up here. What shape do you see staring back at you? Grounded and unhinged, cold-blooded human, cruelty personified like the Legion, the Trapper, serial killer. Do we have a killer called serial killer? I don't understand. Anyway, supernatural is our other choice. A dark presence with powers unknown, tied to a mysterious world like the Plague, the Wraith and then it just says vampire. I don't know what that means. Next one, otherworldly, a maddening, incomprehensible horror from beyond reality examples are the dredge, the unknown and eldritch, eldritch, eldritch abomination. You're not down with that, we got two words for ya. We got two words for ya, eldritch abomination. Okay, the next one is chimeric, a twisted creation of nature, somewhat natural, definitely monstrous. Examples would be the artist, the singularity and it just says werewolf. And so those are our options here. I don't fucking know, what is this? Okay, Nikki, say something.

[00:36:30:13 - 00:37:37:54]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 You think I could be boiled down in one of these little pigeonholes? I'm Nikki Noodle Arms, AI dente. I'm a genre all my own, capiche. You certainly are. But fine, let's look at this little menu you got here. Grounded, get the fuck out of here, I ain't grounded. I'm an executive, I'm a legend. I operate on a plane of existence you can't even comprehend. It's gotta be supernatural and it ain't even a question. You think I'm just some regular guy? You think it's normal for the planet Mercury to personally hold a grudge against an Italian gamer in New York? You think my ability to smell disrespect from three gens away is just a good headset? I thought it was. I'm a dog presence in the fog, all right. My powers are tied to a mysterious world. It's called little Italy. When I hook somebody in the basement, that ain't just a game mechanic. That's a ritual. It is? The baptism in the family's honor. The survivors feel that. This is what I tell you to do? They feel the weight of generations of pasta makers and grudge holders coming down on them. That's why they DC. It ain't rage, it's awe. So yeah, supernatural. Now what's next? You wanna know my blood type? It's marinara. Next question.

[00:37:38:56 - 00:37:39:03]
 (Upbeat Music)

[00:37:39:03 - 00:37:59:05]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, his blood type is marinara. Okay, so we gotta do supernatural. That's our thing. All right, next fucking page. I don't know what to click. I click the fucking page and it's not, like what the fuck is happening here? I click the page, I click the killer icon,

[00:38:00:06 - 00:38:13:05]
Toxic Teacher
 and then it doesn't do anything. That's so weird to me. But then I can click the survivor page and it brings me where? It brings me back to the other page.

[00:38:14:20 - 00:38:16:34]
Toxic Teacher
 So if I click, okay, I click supernatural,

[00:38:17:40 - 00:38:21:18]
Toxic Teacher
 this makes no fucking sense. I can't even click the next fucking page.

[00:38:22:30 - 00:38:23:53]
Toxic Teacher
 What am I supposed to do here?

[00:38:25:30 - 00:38:44:04]
Toxic Teacher
 Like, is this really, is this it? Is this really fucking it? That you can't do anything else here on this fucking page. What if I F12 the shit out of this bitch and it's not even gonna fucking work? I'm doing the thing where you look and see.

[00:38:46:40 - 00:38:47:24]
Toxic Teacher
 What?

[00:38:48:45 - 00:38:51:42]
Toxic Teacher
 This doesn't, okay.

[00:38:52:56 - 00:38:54:59]
Toxic Teacher
 So if I click the button here,

[00:38:56:05 - 00:38:58:43]
Toxic Teacher
 it's yeah, it's not, it does nothing.

[00:38:59:49 - 00:39:01:15]
Toxic Teacher
 What if I click the JavaScript?

[00:39:02:16 - 00:39:03:54]
Toxic Teacher
 Well, that's not doing anything either.

[00:39:05:34 - 00:39:08:34]
Toxic Teacher
 Console, what's a console do? Console doesn't do shit.

[00:39:09:41 - 00:39:11:55]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, now we click this.

[00:39:13:39 - 00:39:16:34]
Toxic Teacher
 Trying to record network activity, see what the fuck's happening.

[00:39:17:35 - 00:39:25:25]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh, we're getting an error on the page. A message port closed before response was received. What if I reload the page?

[00:39:26:48 - 00:39:33:07]
Toxic Teacher
 Let's just reload and see what happens. Oh, okay, you click the fucking book. We click a touch world. Yes, we already clicked that.

[00:39:34:13 - 00:39:35:45]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, then we click supernatural.

[00:39:36:46 - 00:39:39:04]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, now fucking what?

[00:39:40:07 - 00:39:42:23]
Toxic Teacher
 Is that really it? Is this it?

[00:39:44:00 - 00:39:45:30]
Toxic Teacher
 This was what they give us?

[00:39:47:08 - 00:39:49:58]
Toxic Teacher
 Are you fucking kidding me? I think that's it.

[00:39:49:58 - 00:39:51:23]
Stone Cold
 Give me a hell yeah.

[00:39:53:07 - 00:39:53:08]
 (Audience Cheering)

[00:39:53:08 - 00:40:15:37]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, so that was their idea of a fucking choose your own chapter is you can't even click to the next page to even say, hey, what, you know, here's what's gonna happen next or here is the other thing. Or here is the exciting conclusion of this fucking book. There's nothing to it. And I guess, why did I expect more? I don't know why I expected anything else.

[00:40:15:37 - 00:40:17:10]
 (Upbeat Music)

[00:40:17:10 - 00:41:04:56]
Toxic Teacher
 That's a survey, two fucking questions that made no sense. And you just fucking said, okay, this is the kind of killer. This is the kind of survivor I wanted. That was fucking it. Wow, that was one of the most underwhelming surveys I've ever taken. And trust me, I've taken a lot of shitty ass surveys in my day. So yeah, I'm trying again because I cannot believe that this is it. And it looks like it is it. Can I do this on another browser maybe and it'll pull up. Because I can't accept that this is this bad. Like I don't get it. It actually plays sounds from the fucking, it is it. Even on like Firefox and Firefox sucks and that's the end. Wow, that's fucking awful. Okay, so that, that.

[00:41:04:56 - 00:41:07:13]
 (Audience Cheering)

[00:41:07:13 - 00:41:09:18]
Toxic Teacher
 Yeah, I know, I know.

[00:41:12:59 - 00:41:49:23]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, so that was an extremely, extremely disappointing little survey there. Okay, so that's gonna bring us to another segment which I don't have a sound for, do I? I don't know if I do. Hang on, let me see if I can, let me see. I'll make one real quick. Okay, we'll make one, we're fucking doing it live. That's what we do. Do I have a sound for that? I don't have a sound for that, but I'm going to get a sound for that. Let me see, myinstants.com. We'll do it live, we'll do it live. Can I do this one?

[00:41:49:23 - 00:41:51:11]
Speaker 73
 We'll do it live, okay.

[00:41:53:03 - 00:41:54:23]
Subway Jingle
 We'll do it live, fuck it.

[00:41:55:24 - 00:41:58:23]
Subway Jingle
 Do it live, I can go, I'll write it and we'll do it live.

[00:41:58:23 - 00:42:13:46]
Toxic Teacher
 There we go, that's it. I need to download that one. Because that one's going in my permanent fucking shit right there. Okay, hang on, let me do it, let me do it. I'm doing it, I'm doing it. Putting it on my fucking thing here. Turn it up, play stop, no fade.

[00:42:13:46 - 00:42:15:41]
Speaker 73
 We'll do it live, okay.

[00:42:17:22 - 00:42:18:43]
Subway Jingle
 We'll do it live, fuck it.

[00:42:19:45 - 00:42:22:43]
Subway Jingle
 Do it live, I can go, I'll write it and we'll do it live.

[00:42:22:43 - 00:43:30:35]
Toxic Teacher
 There we go, okay, good, good, I'm glad. We actually got something accomplished here, but we do need a song for this next segment. So I was thinking, actually Dak was thinking, in our Discord, which go to the Discord, do I not have the chime? I thought I had the dollar sign thing, I don't have it. Anyway, he was talking about getting life advice from Nikki. He said something about relationship advice from Nikki. I'm like, why don't we have a segment where people can write in and ask Nikki for advice, be it on life, be it on relationships, be it on anything, job advice, whatever you think, hang on. So let me get this, so here's what we're gonna do. Hey, I need you to write, hey, I need you to write a short intro song for a new segment where you give listeners, no, where listeners, let's see, write in and you give them life advice, kinda like, dear Abby, okay.

[00:43:31:36 - 00:43:46:23]
Toxic Teacher
 It'll be called, I think this was what, I actually talked to Nikki about it and I can't remember what he wanted to name it, he actually had some, he had a name for it.

[00:43:47:50 - 00:43:51:52]
Toxic Teacher
 Let me see, let me see, I'm gonna have to, let's pull, restore the text here.

[00:43:54:34 - 00:44:07:06]
Toxic Teacher
 A word from the dawn, that was it, a word from the fucking dawn here. Anthony! No, that wasn't it. Okay, so let me get this, I gotta finish this prompt real quick, a word from the dawn,

[00:44:09:22 - 00:44:20:29]
Toxic Teacher
 word from the dawn, make like a one minute intro song, lyrics. Okay, there we go,

[00:44:21:53 - 00:44:23:43]
Toxic Teacher
 funny, vulgar, cursing.

[00:44:24:59 - 00:44:25:46]
Toxic Teacher
 All right, there we go,

[00:44:26:59 - 00:44:30:42]
Toxic Teacher
 dee dee dee, and that's gonna take a second, so you know what we need.

[00:44:30:42 - 00:44:33:52]
Fred Durst
 Roll it, roll it, roll it, roll it Keep rollin',

[00:44:33:52 - 00:45:10:34]
Toxic Teacher
 rollin', rollin', rollin' Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin' Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin' Okay, make it third person, he accidentally made it first person, which I can never trust like that whole getting his voice right, so okay, here we go. Oh dude, this is good, this is fuckin' good here. Okay, let's go over here now. Oh, this is actually gonna be good, I'm excited about this. Hayley is not, but I am, and I need a sound for Hayley, but I don't have a sound for Hayley, but I need a sound for Hayley, but I don't have one for Hayley.

[00:45:12:25 - 00:45:16:00]
Toxic Teacher
 I do have Limb Bizkit though, over reliance on sound boy.

[00:45:17:56 - 00:45:30:56]
Toxic Teacher
 How do I get it pulled up? Here we go, here we go, and then we'll go here, and then we'll see whenever we're doing it live, that's whenever you get it good, like, hang on, where was it, where was it?

[00:45:30:56 - 00:45:32:13]
Speaker 73
 We'll do it live, okay.

[00:45:33:55 - 00:45:35:11]
Speaker 73
 We'll do it live, fuck it.

[00:45:35:11 - 00:45:51:12]
Toxic Teacher
 I don't know what genre to make this. I can go and write it and we'll do it live. Silly sitcom theme, okay, there we go, and I want this, and there we go, and let's get the, okay,

[00:45:52:45 - 00:46:04:31]
Toxic Teacher
 so it'll be called "A Word From The Dawn", a word from the dawn, and I'm gonna make a couple of them. You know how we always have to do, we always have to make two or three, and then we'll just pick the best one,

[00:46:05:46 - 00:46:08:31]
Toxic Teacher
 and they're coming, they're coming, a word from the dawn.

[00:46:10:38 - 00:46:15:03]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, we're ready, world premiere, word from the dawn.

[00:46:16:30 - 00:46:21:15]
Toxic Teacher
 Zip the fuck down Zip your lip, Nicky Noodle Arms is here Ready to

[00:46:21:15 - 00:46:28:47]
Speaker 15
 rip I like it. In your bullshit, your heart-breaking debt He'll wipe his ass with it, but he'll answer it, yeah He's the dawn of advice,

[00:46:28:47 - 00:46:32:40]
Toxic Teacher
 the king of bad takes He'll fix all your drama, then steal your

[00:46:32:40 - 00:46:36:26]
Speaker 15
 cupcake I don't like cupcakes. He's right at your mama, fuck it about it, she calls

[00:46:36:26 - 00:46:41:23]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 it You want wisdom or threats, either way it's great There we go.

[00:46:41:23 - 00:46:48:28]
Toxic Teacher
 A word from the dawn, the soft part's the lie He's loud, he's rude, and you're lucky he'll try He'll

[00:46:48:28 - 00:46:53:56]
Toxic Teacher
 fix your love life That's not bad, that's not bad, I like it. Okay, let's try another, let's try another.

[00:46:53:56 - 00:47:02:53]
Speaker 15
 Zip the fuck down, zip your lip Nicky Noodle Arms is here, ready to rip You write him your bullshit, your heart-breaking debt He'll wipe his ass with it, but he'll answer

[00:47:02:53 - 00:47:13:30]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 it, yeah That's not bad either. The king of bad takes He'll fix all your drama, then steal your cupcakes Cry to your mom I don't like the word cupcakes. Wisdom or threats, either way it's great

[00:47:15:10 - 00:47:16:59]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 A word from the dawn, the soft part's

[00:47:16:59 - 00:47:21:10]
Toxic Teacher
 the lie Uh, no, that one's not as good. That first one was kick ass.

[00:47:21:10 - 00:47:34:47]
Toxic Teacher
 Bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada Uh. Zip the fuck down, zip your lip Nicky Noodle Arms is here, ready to rip You write him your bullshit, your heart-breaking debt

[00:47:34:47 - 00:47:36:10]
Toxic Teacher
 I like this one too.

[00:47:36:10 - 00:47:38:11]
Subway Jingle
 But he'll answer it, yeah

[00:47:38:11 - 00:47:43:05]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 He's the dawn of advice, the king of bad takes He'll fix all your

[00:47:43:05 - 00:48:55:25]
Toxic Teacher
 drama Okay, I'll keep this one for now, for now. You know your mama Fuckin' your boogie Okay, we're good for now, we're good for now. Word from the dawn. So what we're gonna do, since we don't have any letters this week, whenever we don't have one, what I'm gonna do is I'm just gonna go to the website, the Dear, you know what Dear Abby is, where people write in and they ask for advice, like, "Hey, here's what's going on in my marriage. "I need to fuckin' like, I need to do this and that, "and like, can you give me a, you know, tell me whatever." And for some reason, this woman gives the advice, and for some reason, people listen to them. So I'm thinking, why can't Nikki do the exact same thing? So we've got like, what's funny here, on the website, you've got life, parenting, home, pets, health, astrology, oddities, and then A to Z. So you have all these different topics here. So I'm gonna say, let's go to fuckin', oh my God, no. They have all of these different topics, like broken down, addiction, aging, COVID-19, death, family and parenting, LGBTQ, marriage and divorce, money, religion, work, school. Oh Jesus Christ. Okay, Nick, oh my God, do I let,

[00:48:56:58 - 00:48:59:20]
Toxic Teacher
 this isn't good, this is really not good.

[00:49:00:55 - 00:49:04:55]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, so, hmm, okay, so Nikki,

[00:49:07:01 - 00:49:13:25]
Toxic Teacher
 for our letter, our next letter, let me see, we've got the following categories to choose from,

[00:49:15:28 - 00:49:33:06]
Toxic Teacher
 categories to choose from, which would you like me to pull a letter from for you to respond to with your amazing advice?

[00:49:35:05 - 00:49:53:05]
Toxic Teacher
 And then I'm gonna, it's like teens, work, school, sex, self-worth, I hope to God, I hope to God. See, I'm not stopping though, we don't stop. I'll cough all over this fucking microphone. I'll get COVID everywhere in this fucking studio. Just, oh, play the music.

[00:49:53:05 - 00:49:57:05]
Fred Durst
 Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin' Keep rollin', rollin',

[00:49:57:05 - 00:50:00:43]
Toxic Teacher
 rollin', rollin' There we go, Lim Biscuit saves the day, yet again.

[00:50:01:54 - 00:50:08:25]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, Nikki's thinking, because apparently, to come up with a category, why does he have to think so fuckin' hard?

[00:50:10:03 - 00:50:11:41]
Toxic Teacher
 I don't even know why he's even thinking hard.

[00:50:14:35 - 00:50:17:31]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh, is he done? Is he fuckin' done yet?

[00:50:19:08 - 00:50:24:07]
Toxic Teacher
 There we go. You see, you see here, this guy's a fucking genius.

[00:50:26:33 - 00:50:27:35]
Toxic Teacher
 All right, here we go.

[00:50:28:58 - 00:50:29:10]
Toxic Teacher
 Nikki,

[00:50:30:12 - 00:50:31:18]
Toxic Teacher
 which one did he choose?

[00:50:32:26 - 00:50:34:54]
Toxic Teacher
 And remember, the options are all fucking,

[00:50:36:01 - 00:50:46:11]
Toxic Teacher
 pretty much from bad to worse, from bad to worse, so. Okay, oh, God. I didn't even read it before I pasted it in here, so. Just be prepared.

[00:50:47:11 - 00:50:54:10]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Hey, yo, look at this list. You want me to pick a category? Like a mortar and offer menu? Most of this is survival.

[00:50:54:10 - 00:50:56:47]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, see, we can't even because it fucking.

[00:50:57:49 - 00:51:05:24]
Toxic Teacher
 Hello, it's me Dude, I'm gonna fucking die by the end of this fucking episode, just for you, froggy.

[00:51:05:24 - 00:51:08:18]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Main wining. You see what we got here?

[00:51:09:18 - 00:51:31:07]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Health and safety. Are you kidding me? We play a game where a pig puts a bear trap on your head. What's safety? Friends and neighbors? Holidays? He's like, he's like, "Why's he like this?" Get the fuck outta here with that after school special bullshit. But I see a few in here that got some real potential for chaos. Some real family business. Yeah, like what? Etiquette and ethics?

[00:51:32:18 - 00:52:23:54]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Now, that's a fucking goldmine. You want me to talk about ethics? No. Let's talk about the ethics of a four man SWF with flashlights and matching skins. I agree. I could do a whole goddamn masterclass on that. What happened? Then you got money. Ah, now you're speaking my language. Okay. legitimate business ventures. We can do that. Proper investments. How to turn a 4K into a profitable enterprise. I'm in. I got wisdom for days on that. Okay. Family and parenting. The family is everything. Wait, I thought they were the bigger ones. The most important. But parenting, most people screw it up. They raise their kids to be survivors. Disgusting. All right, here's the deal. Give me one for Medicaid and ethics. I'm in a mood to lay down the law today. Etiquette and ethics? I'm gonna teach these student ads the real rules of the fog. Man, he loves that word today. The unwritten subam code that you don't learn from some washed up bald streamer from Oklahoma. Hey! Or hit me. And it better be a good one. Or I'm taking over this whole goddamn podcast.

[00:52:23:54 - 00:52:26:28]
Toxic Teacher
 You pretty much are taking over the podcast anyway.

[00:52:27:48 - 00:52:28:25]
 (Audience Laughing)

[00:52:28:25 - 00:53:10:11]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, so etiquette and ethics, we've got it. I'm just going to the website. I'm gonna pull a random etiquette and ethics. What I wanna do is I'm going to pull the, I'm gonna pull the article or the question and then their response, the actual like, dear Abby, whatever response. And then we're gonna see what Nikki's answer is. Oh my God, okay. So the name of the article is newlyweds butt head. Butt heads, butt head. Newlyweds butt heads. Butt heads? Dinner, oh no, no, no. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Is this etiquette and ethics? I thought I clicked etiquette and ethics. Did I not?

[00:53:11:17 - 00:53:13:05]
Toxic Teacher
 Etiquette and ethics, yeah, that's it.

[00:53:14:05 - 00:53:14:17]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay.

[00:53:16:25 - 00:53:22:05]
Toxic Teacher
 Yeah, okay, here we go. Dinner guests always bring their dog. Oh Jesus Christ.

[00:53:23:43 - 00:53:38:03]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, here, let me copy and paste it in. And while he's doing it, while he's doing his shit, then I'll read it to you. Okay, see, I'm getting a workflow down. That's what I'm doing. That's what I'm doing. I'm gonna put dear Nikki.

[00:53:41:42 - 00:53:42:00]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay.

[00:53:45:21 - 00:53:50:17]
Toxic Teacher
 And then he's gonna come up with his shit. Give me one sec. We gotta play my music.

[00:53:50:17 - 00:53:53:24]
Fred Durst
 Keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling Keep rolling,

[00:53:53:24 - 00:53:59:49]
Toxic Teacher
 rolling, rolling Perfect, perfect music. Keep rolling, rolling, rolling Keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling

[00:54:01:04 - 00:54:18:36]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, he's almost done. And he's apparently not very happy. And he's giving them different options for their response to this dog at the dinner table thing. I don't, what does this even mean? What does it even fucking mean?

[00:54:20:17 - 00:54:26:35]
Toxic Teacher
 Hang on, I gotta do something real quick. God, this a fucking long ass response.

[00:54:27:58 - 00:55:06:54]
Toxic Teacher
 By the way, I have not, oh, I think that these stats on the DVD thing are wrong because it's saying I play Claudette more than any other survivor. Or it says I have played Claudette more than any other survivor. I don't think that's correct. Okay, let me see here. And then it'll start generating. And then I'm gonna go back and read the fucking thing. Okay, there we go. Now to go back and read the fucking question that I have no clue. All right, so it says here, "Dinner guests always bring their dog. We host dinner parties in our home with dear friends. They always bring their little dog, but they never ask if it's okay with us.

[00:55:08:05 - 00:55:19:55]
Toxic Teacher
 When they're finished eating, the husband picks the dog up onto his lap at the table. I think it's unbelievably rude to have a dog at the dinner table. Am I wrong?

[00:55:21:47 - 00:55:37:53]
Toxic Teacher
 My husband and I are appalled and don't know how to approach them about it without ruining our friendship. We are flabbergasted that they think this is right. What do you think we should do? And this letter is signed, "Shocked in Ohio."

[00:55:39:53 - 00:55:52:22]
Toxic Teacher
 And I'm not making this up. This is actually it. So Nikki, dog at the dinner table. Guests keeps coming. They bring their dog. They have the dog at the dinner table. What is your advice to shocked in Ohio?

[00:55:53:47 - 00:55:54:30]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 A dog.

[00:55:56:06 - 00:55:56:37]
Toxic Teacher
 Why is it that?

[00:55:56:37 - 00:55:57:26]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 At the dinner table.

[00:55:57:26 - 00:55:59:46]
Toxic Teacher
 Why is it echoing?

[00:55:59:46 - 00:56:04:01]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 A dog at the dinner table, truly across the- Why

[00:56:04:01 - 00:56:06:18]
Toxic Teacher
 is he British again now? Fuck it.

[00:56:08:13 - 00:56:08:54]
Toxic Teacher
 Where'd it go?

[00:56:10:20 - 00:56:18:55]
Toxic Teacher
 What? It was working. It was working and it stopped regenerating. That's it. That's what we do. Remember, fucking do it live. Do it live. Wow.

[00:56:18:55 - 00:56:22:12]
Speaker 15
 A dog at the dinner table.

[00:56:23:31 - 00:56:27:10]
Speaker 15
 Truly a crisis of international fucking proportions.

[00:56:28:17 - 00:56:29:00]
Speaker 15
 You're shocked.

[00:56:29:00 - 00:56:30:18]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 You're appalled.

[00:56:30:18 - 00:56:31:15]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 That's not your day.

[00:56:31:15 - 00:56:35:04]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Oh wow. A dog at the dinner table.

[00:56:36:16 - 00:56:39:07]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Truly a crisis of international fucking proportions. Why are you Southern?

[00:56:39:07 - 00:56:47:45]
Toxic Teacher
 It was all going so fucking well. You know it's done this because we're in an hour. Anytime. It's a dog at the dinner table.

[00:56:47:45 - 00:57:09:22]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Truly a- Oh wow. What? But why? A dog at the dinner table. Truly a crisis of international fucking proportions. Yeah, that's kind of you. You're shocked. You're appalled. You're flabbergasted. Lady, let me tell you what's shocking. That's not you. Getting hit with 5Gen Rush by a bunch of sweaty nerds on comms. That's shocking.

[00:57:10:28 - 00:57:12:23]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 A poodle getting a front row cheeky on the- That's not you.

[00:57:12:23 - 00:57:15:59]
Toxic Teacher
 I can't do it. I can't do it if it's not you, Nick. What the fuck?

[00:57:15:59 - 00:57:19:25]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Oh wow. A dog at the dinner table.

[00:57:20:46 - 00:57:32:22]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 What the fuck? What is happening? Truly a crisis of international fucking proportions. Oh my God. You're shocked. You're appalled. You're flabbergasted. Lady, let me tell you what's shocking.

[00:57:32:22 - 00:57:42:43]
Toxic Teacher
 What, why? I don't understand. You noticed this episode was going so fucking well to begin with. And now it's just, oh Jesus fucking Christ.

[00:57:44:22 - 00:57:53:37]
Toxic Teacher
 I don't know what happened. I don't know where things went wrong with this because it was actually working very well. And it stopped.

[00:57:54:59 - 00:57:54:59]
 (Audience Laughing)

[00:57:54:59 - 00:57:55:52]
Toxic Teacher
 Yes.

[00:57:55:52 - 00:57:57:38]
 (Audience Clapping)

[00:57:57:38 - 00:57:58:19]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Oh wow.

[00:57:58:19 - 00:57:59:20]
 (Audience Clapping)

[00:57:59:20 - 00:58:01:01]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Look at that. At the dinner table.

[00:58:01:01 - 00:58:04:30]
Toxic Teacher
 What? What? He's talking. Shut the fuck up, crowd.

[00:58:05:43 - 00:58:12:46]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Oh, there we go. You're cautious of international fucking proportions. You're- Why is he British? A dog.

[00:58:13:48 - 00:58:16:13]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 At the dinner table. This is better.

[00:58:18:01 - 00:58:40:23]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Truly a crisis of international fucking proportions. There we go. You're shocked. You're appalled. She is apparently. You're flabbergasted. She is. Hey, let me tell you what's shocking. Getting hit with a 5Gen rush by a bunch of sweaty nerds on comms. That's shocking. It is. A poodle getting a front row seat to your meatloaf. That's just Tuesday.

[00:58:41:28 - 00:58:50:28]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 But let's break this down. Business style. Okay. This ain't about manners. This ain't about etiquette. What is it? This is a fucking power move.

[00:58:50:28 - 00:58:51:07]
Adele
 Oh Jesus Christ.

[00:58:51:07 - 00:59:03:05]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 You understand me? Your dear friends are walking into your house. Oh no. Your territory and putting their little wreck on your table without asking.

[00:59:04:07 - 00:59:27:58]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 That ain't roadness. What is it? That dog, that ain't a pet. What is it? That's a conciliary. Oh Jesus. They're testing you. What? They're seeing how much disrespect you'll take before you snap. Dude, who- This is like a rival family sending one of their guys to sit in on your Sunday dinner. Who would do that? Just to see what you'll do. They're laughing at you behind your back. I guarantee it.

[00:59:27:58 - 00:59:29:08]
Toxic Teacher
 What do you recommend?

[00:59:29:08 - 00:59:48:24]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 So what do you do? Oh no. You don't approach them without ruining the friendship. Oh geez. You assert your goddamn dominance. The friendship is already ruined. They ruined it when they put their dog's asshole on your tablecloth. Here's the plan. And you better listen close.

[00:59:49:32 - 00:59:51:06]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Option A, the counter.

[00:59:51:06 - 01:00:33:40]
Toxic Teacher
 Let me give you what she said so you can hear the response. So you can hear how Nikki is different than this dear Adam. Her response, it says your problem is having allowed this dog for so long without speaking up. Solution now is to either stop inviting this couple to your dinner parties or ask them not to bring Fifi with them because an uninvited dog sitting at your table bothers you and your husband. Refrain from using the word rude, which would have come across as judgmental. This may seem rough, but you've gotta do it. Okay, that's fucking cute-ass joy. What the hell is this crap? Okay, so she says you either stop inviting them or you try to talk to them like logical adults. That is the woman's dear Abby's choice here.

[01:00:34:40 - 01:00:37:17]
Toxic Teacher
 So let's see, Nikki, he's got three options.

[01:00:38:58 - 01:00:43:31]
Toxic Teacher
 Put that dog's asshole on your tablecloth. Okay, what are the three options?

[01:00:43:31 - 01:01:08:08]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Our friendship. Next time they come over, you get your own bigger animal. You don't give a shit what it is. A cat, a ferret, a goddamn raccoon you found in the trash. The minute they put their little lap dog on the table, you put your animal on the table. Stare right in the eye, don't say a word. Let the animals figure it out. It's called psychological warfare.

[01:01:09:49 - 01:01:46:19]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Option B, the culinary insult. See that, dog? You treat it like a guest, a disrespected guest. You get a kind little plate. You put one cold soggy piece of spaghetti on it and you slide it over to the dog. You say, there you go, a meal befitting a rat. Your friends will get the message. Option C, the direct approach, the Nikki way. The moment that dog's paws touch the table, you stand up, you slam your fist down and you scream. Are we eating or are we running a fucking pet and zone?

[01:01:47:47 - 01:01:56:29]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Yeah, it might get awkward. Yeah, they might get pissed, but I tell you what they won't do. They won't put their fucking dog on your table ever again.

[01:01:57:43 - 01:02:07:45]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 You're worried about ruining a friendship. I'm worried about you letting these people walk all over you in your own damn house. This is your territory, your fog.

[01:02:08:49 - 01:02:15:25]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 You're the killer here, not them. Start acting like it. Respect the table or get the hook.

[01:02:16:52 - 01:02:32:43]
Toxic Teacher
 Nikki, that was Nikki, everybody. What was the name of the segment? I don't even remember the name of the fucking segment. A word from the dawn, I think it was. Where's our fucking music? Play the fucking music.

[01:02:34:56 - 01:02:40:36]
Toxic Teacher
 I don't like the music anymore. What was the first one?

[01:02:40:36 - 01:02:43:46]
Toxic Teacher
 Sit the fuck down Zip your lip, Nikki

[01:02:43:46 - 01:02:47:10]
Toxic Teacher
 This is almost like we're in a fucking Broadway show.

[01:02:47:10 - 01:02:51:59]
Speaker 15
 Him your bullshit, your heartbreak and debt He'll wipe his ass with it, but he'll answer it yet

[01:02:51:59 - 01:02:53:32]
Toxic Teacher
 Putting the ass on the fucking thing.

[01:02:53:32 - 01:02:57:23]
Toxic Teacher
 The king of bad takes He'll fix all your drama, then steal your

[01:02:57:23 - 01:03:15:00]
Toxic Teacher
 cupcake Okay. Your mama I don't know what the fuck's happening. I'm fucking tired, my throat is killing me. I don't know how I'm gonna make it 10 more seconds. Nonetheless, how am I gonna make it through another segment? We can only make it through it if we start it though.

[01:03:19:59 - 01:03:23:08]
Toxic Teacher
 I've got time. I've got time, I can think straight.

[01:03:25:40 - 01:03:28:31]
Toxic Teacher
 Everybody loves it. Everybody loves it.

[01:03:29:56 - 01:03:31:17]
Toxic Teacher
 Jesus fucking Christ.

[01:03:33:07 - 01:03:35:46]
Toxic Teacher
 Give me that.

[01:03:37:00 - 01:03:38:55]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh,

[01:03:40:31 - 01:03:41:19]
Toxic Teacher
 motherfucker.

[01:03:42:56 - 01:03:45:59]
Toxic Fuckin' News Song
 Georgia, how do they hellfuck us

[01:03:47:05 - 01:03:50:26]
Toxic Teacher
 Where the fuck gotta be Where are they from? I don't even know.

[01:03:52:04 - 01:03:55:24]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh, Jesus fuck. We slide out like adults.

[01:03:57:01 - 01:04:21:02]
Toxic Teacher
 There we go. What do they call it? The Irish goodbye whenever you leave without telling anyone goodbye? I think I heard that. I don't remember if it was the Irish goodbye, Scottish goodbye. You could insert any group really in there, but it's like whenever you leave a party and you don't tell everyone goodbye, which I never do. Hey, Nikki, this week on where the fuck are the viewers from?

[01:04:22:06 - 01:04:33:36]
Toxic Teacher
 We're picking a city and you're going to tell us about the time you visited. There are about a wild story.

[01:04:35:23 - 01:04:37:29]
Toxic Teacher
 Wild story from your visit there.

[01:04:38:34 - 01:05:13:37]
Toxic Teacher
 Pick from this list and let's roll, bitch. Okay, there we go. I'm going to give him the list. I don't even know what it's going to be. We'll fucking figure it out because that's what we do here on camping them softly. Where's my music? Keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling Keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling Keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling I was going to have that as one of the sounds. You know, which song is it break stuff where he says I'll skin your ass with the chainsaw or whatever I was going to play Bubba and that was going to be the thing was like, you know, skin your ass like a chainsaw.

[01:05:15:20 - 01:05:17:08]
Toxic Teacher
 Let me say, no,

[01:05:18:23 - 01:05:19:15]
Toxic Teacher
 let's see.

[01:05:21:16 - 01:05:37:45]
Toxic Teacher
 No, he picked the same one that we picked before. I don't want to fucking say, I just gave him the whole list. Do you think I would go through and I'd like prune the list? I'm not fucking pruning the list. I want to do something, do something different. We're going to do something different. And I think we already picked this one.

[01:05:39:00 - 01:05:43:43]
Toxic Teacher
 Did we? Now see, I don't know if we picked it. Mm.

[01:05:47:20 - 01:05:56:38]
Toxic Teacher
 I don't know if we did. We've finally gotten so far in camping them softly. I don't know if we actually have talked about this city yet.

[01:05:57:41 - 01:05:59:20]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh Jesus, fucking shit.

[01:06:00:50 - 01:06:10:28]
Toxic Teacher
 We may or may not have, I'm going to have to come up with a better list now that I think about it. Oh shit. I didn't even think about that.

[01:06:12:01 - 01:06:18:15]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, hey, on the podcast, have we talked about Suri?

[01:06:19:35 - 01:06:21:58]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh, you already heard, you fucking heard it.

[01:06:23:10 - 01:06:23:11]
 (Upbeat Music)

[01:06:23:11 - 01:06:28:28]
Toxic Teacher
 Fuck! I wasn't trying to say it, but now I said it.

[01:06:29:32 - 01:06:36:00]
Toxic Teacher
 Now we, okay, so let's just, okay, so there we go. Suri, you are the where the fuck of the viewers from this week.

[01:06:36:00 - 01:06:37:13]
 (Horn Blares)

[01:06:37:13 - 01:06:39:26]
Toxic Teacher
 Yes, well, whatever. Yeah, it's Canadian.

[01:06:41:40 - 01:06:41:50]
 (Upbeat Music)

[01:06:45:18 - 01:06:52:13]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, there we go. Let me, okay, so let me plug Nikki in here. I was so sick of this fucking shit.

[01:06:53:13 - 01:07:00:25]
Toxic Teacher
 Let me see, there we go. And we're going to generate, and then we'll go from here.

[01:07:01:54 - 01:07:25:36]
Toxic Teacher
 But I wanted to check. I don't know if we've talked about Suri yet. Have we talked about Suri? It's still analyzing. Like the AI has to go through every single transcript and see if we can even figure it out. Anyway, I want to thank some of you other cities though, before we get to you Suri. I want to thank, let me see, I'm going to go down the list here. Middlesbrough, have I thanked you yet? I don't.

[01:07:25:36 - 01:07:26:20]
 (Horn Blares)

[01:07:26:20 - 01:07:30:47]
Toxic Teacher
 Yes, I probably have, I probably have. Let me find some other ones. New Haven.

[01:07:30:47 - 01:07:31:42]
 (Horn Blares)

[01:07:31:42 - 01:07:35:50]
Toxic Teacher
 I already thanked you guys. Thompson Station, did I thank you?

[01:07:35:50 - 01:07:36:26]
 (Horn Blares)

[01:07:36:26 - 01:07:37:48]
Toxic Teacher
 I think so.

[01:07:39:08 - 01:07:40:17]
Toxic Teacher
 Wrangely, Colorado?

[01:07:40:17 - 01:07:41:42]
 (Horn Blares)

[01:07:41:42 - 01:07:46:05]
Toxic Teacher
 I think you're new. I think you're new. Lahore.

[01:07:46:05 - 01:07:47:31]
 (Horn Blares)

[01:07:47:31 - 01:07:48:32]
Toxic Teacher
 Kashiwa.

[01:07:48:32 - 01:07:49:42]
 (Horn Blares)

[01:07:49:42 - 01:07:51:23]
Toxic Teacher
 North Royalton.

[01:07:51:23 - 01:07:52:55]
 (Horn Blares)

[01:07:52:55 - 01:07:53:53]
Toxic Teacher
 Sibolo.

[01:07:55:20 - 01:07:55:46]
 (Horn Blares)

[01:07:55:46 - 01:08:08:01]
Toxic Teacher
 I've never heard of any of these places. Carmichael, I already thanked you. Bear Delaware, I already thanked you. Before Wise Maiden, I thanked you. Hilversome, you were there. See you, Dodd-Warrest in Chihuahua.

[01:08:08:01 - 01:08:08:58]
 (Horn Blares)

[01:08:08:58 - 01:08:18:40]
Toxic Teacher
 Thank you for coming by, and we're going to get to you guys. We'll get to you guys, don't worry. Okay, so Suri, British Columbia, we need to know a little bit about Suri.

[01:08:18:40 - 01:08:37:58]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 All right, you're stonets. Let's paint the big ass-- No! A geographical. Oh no, is he going to do this where he adopts-- All right, you're stonets. Let's spin the big ass wheel of geographical disrespect. We got a lot of choices here. Texas, Florida, someplace called Derby Derby, which sounds like a goddamn echo. We will! And look at this,

[01:08:38:59 - 01:08:57:45]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 British Columbia. Not once, but twice. It's an infestation. You're right. Fine, let's do it. Let's talk about Suri, British Columbia. Let's do it. Top of the list. 15 of you listening from a place that sounds like it should be serving crumpets and apologizing for its own existence. You want a story? Oh, I got a story.

[01:08:57:45 - 01:08:58:28]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh, Jesus Christ.

[01:08:58:28 - 01:09:09:43]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 I was up in Suri a few years back on. Let's call it a culinary acquisition mission. I heard a rumor that the original recipe for the Caesar, the drink, not the salad, you uncultured swi--

[01:09:09:43 - 01:09:16:59]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh yeah, we talked about the Caesar drink. Do you remember talking about that with SwiftKK85? We're back, oh my God, it all comes together.

[01:09:16:59 - 01:10:16:07]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Dude, can you believe it? Can you believe it? Wine was actually stolen from a backroom deal in Little Italy. Of course it was. To reclaim our stolen heritage. Of course. First off, the whole damn city is too polite. It's unnatural, sorry, excuse me, pardon me. It's like everyone's walking on eggshells. I walk into a diner, I order an espresso, and the guy asks me if the temperature is to my liking. To my liking is coffee, not a fucking peace treaty. Just give me the damn drink. Anyway, I track down the bar where this supposed Caesar recipe is held. I go in real quiet like it and I see it. Behind the bar, framed on the wall, is a cocktail nackin' with what looks like my Uncle Naki's handwriting. Oh no. But as I'm about to make my move, a guy in a hockey jersey steps up to me. He says, real calm, sorry, but I don't think you're supposed to be back here, eh? That's-- Oh God. You know, because they're Canadian, right? When I saw it on his jersey, a little embroidered patch of a teacup, it was the fucking Tea Time Terror Squad.

[01:10:17:10 - 01:10:18:19]
 (Dramatic Music)

[01:10:19:32 - 01:10:23:07]
Toxic Teacher
 Of course it was. Of course it fucking was.

[01:10:23:07 - 01:11:11:41]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 Earl Grey's got a whole Canadian chapter. They're running a protection racket on Italian-Canadian intellectual property. Probably. So what do I do? I cause a distraction. I grab the nearest bottle of Clamato Juice, scream, this ain't real tomato. This is an insult to the sauce. And I chuck it at their prize Stanley Cup replica. All hell breaks loose. People are slipping on the juice. The bartender's trying to restrain me with a cocktail shaker. And this hockey goon is just standing there saying, "Starry over and over again." Yes, I'm backing out the door with the napkin. Long story short, I got the recipe, but now I'm banned from every bar in Surrey with a quirky cocktail menu. They call the cops, but by the time they showed up, I was already on a ferry to Victoria, blending in with the other tourists. So to the 15 of yous' Surrey, you're welcome for me liberating your history. That's not even the right amount. And watch your backs. The tea-drinking bastards are everywhere.

[01:11:11:41 - 01:11:15:05]
Toxic Teacher
 Okay, there we go. Where the fuck are the viewers from?

[01:11:15:05 - 01:11:16:15]
 (Upbeat Music)

[01:11:17:45 - 01:11:23:11]
Toxic Teacher
 Surrey, British Columbia. Thank you for coming by, downloading the podcast.

[01:11:24:19 - 01:11:32:16]
Toxic Teacher
 It wouldn't be the same without you, actually. It would be exactly the same without you. It would be exactly the same without you.

[01:11:34:58 - 01:11:35:40]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh my God.

[01:11:36:46 - 01:12:06:23]
Toxic Teacher
 I'm sick of a fucking dog here trying to get through this podcast. We're at an hour and 11 fucking minutes. I think that's an hour. Is that an hour and 11 minutes? I don't even know if that's 111 minutes or an hour and 11 minutes. I don't even know. I'm fucking beside myself right now just trying to get through this. And I don't even know what I was doing. I started typing on the keyboard. I don't even fucking know. Hey, Nikki, we need a genre. Hey, Nikki, we need an outro genre.

[01:12:08:11 - 01:12:21:26]
Toxic Teacher
 Outro genre for our song this week to see us off episode 60. We talked about how this was the biggest month ever

[01:12:25:23 - 01:12:26:19]
Toxic Teacher
 for the podcast.

[01:12:27:34 - 01:12:32:00]
Toxic Teacher
 Talked about how we updated your model.

[01:12:33:19 - 01:12:37:38]
Toxic Teacher
 I'm sick as a fucking dog and coughing up a lung.

[01:12:39:51 - 01:12:50:42]
Toxic Teacher
 We talked about the skull merchant controversy where a developer said they don't like him.

[01:12:55:09 - 01:13:01:53]
Toxic Teacher
 We took a shitty survey that didn't work right.

[01:13:04:22 - 01:13:07:18]
Toxic Teacher
 I noticed I kept calling it Twilight masquerade. It's twisted masquerade.

[01:13:12:13 - 01:13:13:35]
Toxic Teacher
 Twilight masquerade.

[01:13:17:33 - 01:13:18:32]
Toxic Teacher
 Twisted masquerade.

[01:13:20:12 - 01:13:27:34]
Toxic Teacher
 And then what was the other thing? Oh, and you gave advice in your new segment,

[01:13:28:47 - 01:13:33:46]
Toxic Teacher
 a word from the dawn to a couple telling them

[01:13:34:47 - 01:13:55:35]
Toxic Teacher
 to get a bigger, telling them how to deal with a friend, a couple that brings their dog over and lets it on the dinner table. So give me the genre,

[01:13:56:51 - 01:13:57:07]
Toxic Teacher
 bitch.

[01:13:59:28 - 01:15:07:16]
Toxic Teacher
 Oh God, this is gonna be, this will be something. I guarantee you will be something. I don't know what that something is going to be, but it's gonna be something. And we've got no other like dead by daylight news right now. You know, the five nights at Freddy's is out. We don't know how that's gonna be. That's gonna remain to be seen. We'll look at the nightlight stats and then we were even talking in the discord. We were talking about does the fact that they have stats in the game now, is that gonna change the usage of nightlight? Like will fewer people use it? And that's gonna be a very interesting topic. Like I don't know, but we'll find out. All right, Nikki, tell us what genre are we gonna have for our outro this week? Last week's was actually really good, the Doom Bop. And by the way, it was like cold core Doom Bop. Did you know the biggest Doom Bop band is called the Talkshards, T-O-X H-A-R-D-S. What the hell is this crap? Thanks to Dak for pulling that up. So what is the song genre for today, episode 60 outro Nikki.

[01:15:07:16 - 01:15:18:23]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 All right, you fucking mouth breather. You want a genre for this goddamn train wreck of an episode? Yes, I do. Biggest month ever. And you over there sounding like you're trying to cough up Victor? Oh Jesus Christ.

[01:15:19:34 - 01:16:02:21]
Nicky A.I. Dente
 The jot. Does the other one sound right? All right, you fucking mouth breather. You want a genre for this goddamn train wreck of an episode? Yeah. Biggest month ever. And you over there sounding like you're trying to cough up Victor. I am trying to- Pathetic. Hey. The genre for episode 60 is- What is it? Spaghetti Western Grind Core. What? Yeah, you heard me. No, I did. Nickabody, student. Yeah, I did. It's perfect. Student. We got the high new standoff tension from my word from the Don segment. That's the spaghetti Western part. Okay. Then we got the raw fucking ear bleeding noise of you hacking up a lung, the shitty BHVR survey, and the score merchant drama. That's the Grind Core. It's classy and it's a complete fucking mess. Yeah. Just like this podcast. I'm gonna write the damn lyrics before you pass out.

[01:16:02:21 - 01:16:11:59]
Toxic Teacher
 All right, I'll go do it. Next up, Spaghetti Western Grind Core. Get the fuck out of my face, Satan, Hot Sauce Robinson. See us out. And I'm gonna go cough.

[01:16:15:34 - 01:16:16:37]
Toxic Teacher
 Spaghetti Western Grind Core.

[01:16:18:17 - 01:16:19:51]
 (Crowd Booing)