Have you ever felt the icy grip of fear hold you back, restricting the flow of your life like rocks obstructing a stream? That's something we have grappled with, and we’re sharing our experiences in this riveting chat. We explore the crippling effects of fear, using our personal stories to reveal how it can prevent us from realizing our full potential. Drawing from the beautiful metaphor of a stream, we highlight how fear creates obstacles in our life-flow, just like rocks in a stream.
But fear doesn't have to own you! Embark on this journey with us as we reveal various techniques to triumph over fear. From visualization to confronting it head-on, we recount our personal anecdotes to show you just how possible it is to overcome. Expressing our fears and seeking support is a vital part of this process. We're here, ready to navigate life's rapids, brave the fears, and embrace the flow alongside you. So, buckle up, and let's steer towards a more fulfilling life together!
email: FlippedMindsetPodcast@gmail.com
Facebook: Flipped Mindset Podcast
Have you ever felt the icy grip of fear hold you back, restricting the flow of your life like rocks obstructing a stream? That's something we have grappled with, and we’re sharing our experiences in this riveting chat. We explore the crippling effects of fear, using our personal stories to reveal how it can prevent us from realizing our full potential. Drawing from the beautiful metaphor of a stream, we highlight how fear creates obstacles in our life-flow, just like rocks in a stream.
But fear doesn't have to own you! Embark on this journey with us as we reveal various techniques to triumph over fear. From visualization to confronting it head-on, we recount our personal anecdotes to show you just how possible it is to overcome. Expressing our fears and seeking support is a vital part of this process. We're here, ready to navigate life's rapids, brave the fears, and embrace the flow alongside you. So, buckle up, and let's steer towards a more fulfilling life together!
email: FlippedMindsetPodcast@gmail.com
Facebook: Flipped Mindset Podcast
Welcome to the Flipped Mindset Podcast. Hi, I'm Janet.
Speaker 2:And I'm Brenda.
Speaker 1:And welcome to our podcast, where we believe that you change your mindset, you change your life.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Welcome. Thank you for being here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so okay. So we're going to get started and we'll see how this goes. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You will hear the little cat in the background, but that just adds to the ambience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's upset because it's rainy out in cold. She wants to be outside, but it's not warm enough. So no, she's going to put her complaints in yeah Complaint department absolutely. All right, so all right. So today's episode we're going to be talking about, fear restricts flow. So this is a thought that I had and an analogy that I had, and I want to kind of explain it and then how it works in my life, and then, as Brenda will interject with her wisdom, as she always does.
Speaker 1:Yes, absolutely, but I'm here for yeah, so a little bit like so it's fear. So fear in your life can restrict the flow in your life, so kind of. One of the things that kind of got me to this thought is you know, like when everything's flowing and you feel good about yourself and you know everything's, you're like, yeah, it's just everything's just going really well and things like that. If you think about it, like you don't have a lot of fear, there's not a lot of fear. You're just like, oh yeah, everything's great, everything's going.
Speaker 1:But when you start incorporating, the fear is when things start not kind of they're not kind of kind of hidden like they do, and it's a little bit more difficult. And I'll go into some examples here in a minute, but I wanted to start out with my analogy first. So my analogy is like so one time I was hiking in the mountains in California and one of my favorite places to hike has a stream that comes down and they have these cool rocks to sit on. So I was like sitting out there and then just pondering life.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And one of the things is watching, and I sit and observing the stream as it's going down the mountain and I was watching and there was parts of it that, like you would see where it come up to a rock, and the water would then like kind of have to figure its way around the rock. So the rock it would have to like it would have to fill up enough and go over the rock or it would have to, you know, figure a way to go around the rock or underneath or however. However, it would always find a way around. And I was just thinking, man, our lives are a lot like the stream that's flowing and when we come across obstacles we have to figure a way around these obstacles. We have to go over them, around them, under them. And then you notice, in spots I've noticed that there's a lot of that there were spots that would be like where it wasn't flowing it would stop, and in those spots where there was no flow, it kind of became stagnant and got moldy and you know it wasn't really good. But then the spots where it's flowing, you know it's clear and you know the mud and that kind of goes down to the bottom and it just keeps flowing around these different obstacles. So it just reminded me of, like, how our lives are and we're constantly flow and change and we've got these little obstacles that we've got to get over. Some are little, some are big, you know, and so this is kind of what leads me into the fear restricts flow. So like I think of those rocks or those logs or those things that come in could be fear, so it could be in my life.
Speaker 1:So a good example in my life was the fear of rejection, the fear of not being lovable, the fear of abandonment kept me in relationships. It didn't serve me and caused me to be almost that stagnant water where I became stagnant. I, you know, I didn't have a flow of creativity and I didn't have a flow of you know, I wasn't fulfilled in life. I kind of felt really numb and like I almost think of it, like I was a turtle in a shell and I had pulled myself into the shell and I was kind of going through the motions of the days and there's just like this is what I'm supposed to do, and so that fear had stuck me in a spot, that my life wasn't flowing, it was just existing, until I had a wake up call that was kind of like hey, I don't want to just exist. You know, I was in my 30s and I'm like, and I don't want to, this is not what I want to spend the rest of my life doing. I don't want to just exist anymore, I want my life to flow, I want to feel alive again.
Speaker 1:And so so I had to start looking at those fears and figuring out what they were and heading, you know, kind of look at them head on, kind of what we were talking about, being the brave buffalo and figuring out how to heal and move forward. So I've, you know, so I find it a lot. You know, that's a good, a big example of a huge example in my life. But it kind of leads into like started, you know, and it's so fine fear every day. There's different fears that pop up in my life and sometimes I have to look at it and be like, okay, it's, you know, it's restricting a flow in an area I want to, if it's somewhere I want to go. I didn't mean to rhyme, but I did, yeah, there you go.
Speaker 2:You got to pull it up in here. Yeah, exactly, you want to add anything, or you just like, I'm just I sit here and I just, you know, get mesmerized by, you know, your knowledge that you're trying to share.
Speaker 2:And I forget that I'm, we're actually supposed to be talking to you. So, yeah, no, no. I think that's good, I think that is like. I think that the best analogy you can put on fear is because, yeah, water gets stagnant if it doesn't flow and, you know, if there's an obstacle in the way, because water's going to do water things, you know.
Speaker 2:So one of the things I can think on that is, like years ago, when I wanted to get a handle on my depression, my fear was, if I went and saw a therapist, I would be labeled or I was afraid of what people would do. So I didn't want to do it and it took a long time to finally realize that, yeah, I needed to get some help with that. But so my fear was what people, what other people think, and you know, anybody out there that has seen a therapist knows you know that's really good thing to do if you need to do it. But you know, that kind of restricted me and I, you know, wasted, I think, wasted some time getting healthy because I was afraid of what people would say. So I was stagnant for a long time. It's one of the big things that I can think of.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't necessarily think of it as wasted time, because it was time as you were becoming stronger and becoming the person you needed to step out of it. So it wasn't really wasted time. Sometimes we could you know, I've done that too where I feel like I've wasted time, but it's really think about it more and like we're flipping things right, we're trying to flip our mindset and stuff. It wasn't wasted time. It was time you needed to discover and come.
Speaker 1:It will push past the fear Push past the fear to be that body of water of. Ok, am I going to build up and go over it? Am I going to, you know, figure a way around it? Like it was your time to figure that out. And the good thing is is you did figure it out, you did push past it and you did look at your. That was that had been huge. To look at your depression and seek help.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and especially, if you know, in the throes of my depression, I was very dark. I couldn't see myself the next day Like getting out of bed and putting my two feet, putting my feet on the floor, which is, I consider that a comfort for me, every day, for me now, you know so like finally saying OK, I need help and I need to reach out and reaching out and getting the help. Of course you've met my therapist. She's wonderful. She's helped me there a lot, so I got lucky. But that's a big thing.
Speaker 1:Like I think that's a huge thing is like asking for help, because sometimes when we it's a fear as well. If it's like, oh, I'm afraid I'm going to be seen as weakness or they're going to think I guess it goes back to the what people think and stuff like that. It's really I struggle with asking for help from people. Even now I'm getting better at it. It's something I know that I'm working on and asking for help. But yeah, there's a lot of different ways that fear can restrict the flow in your life. Sometimes some of the things that we really want to do in our lives is just past that fear.
Speaker 1:There are some other speakers that I listened to and stuff that talk about that. Like you got to push past that fear. They can get on the other side of it and that's where your life, that's where you want. You know, just like your depression, the life you wanted it was on the other side of that depression. So you had to get over that fear of what people thought so that you can then start living that life that you wanted with Living the life past depression.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And we just talked to, you know, angel with her eating disorder and stuff.
Speaker 1:You know she had to push past the fear and let it go and get on the other side so she could live a life that she wanted to do on the other side of and that's not easy to do, it's not easy to look at fear in the end, because we have to do things that are uncomfortable and we have to do things that we don't necessarily want to do, or, you know, we're afraid of looking at the pain yeah, facing your trauma and Coming to terms with it and processing it.
Speaker 2:processing it is, I think, the most Serious thing I've ever had to do, and I watched my husband die, so I face some skin. I'm a former ER nurse. I face some scary things but, yeah, looking at your issues and dealing with like very Personal things, yeah, yeah, there's a lot of fear in that, but pushing past it and getting through it and yes, it's gonna be painful, yes, it's, but on the other side is something wonderful.
Speaker 1:I Think one of the keys is to like and knowing. I think this is what has helped me is knowing that the fear is only temporary yeah, it's not forever. So I've I've used that technique of If there's something I don't want to do or there's something I'm afraid of. This has helped me a lot, like in my job and things like that where I'd have to do public speaking. I used to hate public speaking and now I'm a trainer and I speak in front of people, so, and people I don't know.
Speaker 1:So it's kind of like I had to get over that here and some of the things. Like I would do it, I would start looking. I would start looking at what my life was on the other side of fear, like once I get past this day, it's gonna be okay, I'm gonna be okay, yeah, tomorrow. So I just got to get through today and I'll be okay. Or I got to get through the next two hours and I'll be okay after that. And so sometimes looking at it that way, thinking past it seems, through the seeing on the other side of the fear, help me kind of get through the fear. And I was like, because I can see the hope on the other.
Speaker 2:That's like one of the analogies you had talked about. I don't know if we talked about on this, but the people in the pool, they're all having fun, yeah, yeah so like jumping in. You're like fearful of jumping in, but you know like, hey, your life's gonna be good and they're all having fun, and like maybe just you know, if you're little fear water, if you fear being cold, you just not sure what's gonna happen once you jump off the edge, but you can see how better your life can be.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, I don't think we've talked about that in LNG yet, but I like that you brought it up. I think you explained it pretty well. It's like so it's so in that one. It's like you're standing on the side of a pool, it's a sunny day, you've got your cute little bathing suit on and you're like you can see in the water all your friends, you can, everybody's having fun, it's splashing and it's that fear of, oh, it's gonna be so cold, it's gonna be uncomfortable. But you know, like once you get in the water, like once you get through that initial cold and and uncomfortableness, it warms up and you're and you don't in your playing and you're you're not gonna be thinking about that initial Coldness anymore and so, like I was like using that as the fear. Okay, that's kind of what I use sometimes when I'm like, okay, yeah, publishing a freaking podcast, yeah, okay, I'm like we just gotta get past this and like we're just gonna do it and and sometimes that helps me overcome that fear.
Speaker 1:I Know another one and I think I use this technique with you and angels sometimes as well as myself is sometimes Looking at that fear. So I kind of think of it like. Think of like as you're a kid and you're in your bed and it's dark and your closets open and you see, like something. You're like oh my god, there's a person and you see an outline of a person. Like, oh my god, there's a person in my closet.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're scared, you know you know like.
Speaker 1:Frozen. I'm not doing, I'm staying here underneath my blanket and I'm not doing anything. And then, like you flip on the light and it's just your jacket hanging up on, like on the back of the door or something you're like on this. Sometimes it takes, you know, looking at that fear and going, is it? You know, and really like shining that light on it, talking about it, talking about it is a big one. That reduces the fear. You know, like sometimes, when I know, like when I've ever like had to like cry or I'm upset and I'm like, are we talk about it when I start to speak it, that's not as bad as I thought it was.
Speaker 2:That fear almost loses its power, like you know, when you let it out. But one thing I just remembered when you were talking about you know, it's like You're a kid and you see something in your closet and all scared. I don't know if you remember this, I just remember that we were young and we were in the house in Tennessee and we were in the bed and there was a picture on the wall and it was moving and we were so scared of it and I just remember, like holding it onto you because the picture was moving and then all of a sudden you said, well, the fans on and the fan was making the picture move and it just like had dissipated everything. But I just remember me and I was just hanging on to you and you were like you know we were thinking like which is the ghost?
Speaker 2:And then all of a sudden you were like, oh, it's the, the fans on, and it was an oscillating fan, so every you know, once it came to it it started moving and I just I remember that vividly and it was like, okay, good, we're cool, okay, what else we gonna do?
Speaker 1:You know what I?
Speaker 2:mean Like we went right back into what we were doing, right yeah?
Speaker 1:So I think that's one of the things is Kind of facing. You have to kind of almost face the fear and be that brave, courageous and be like, okay, this is the fear that's keeping me from doing what I want to do. Let me look at it and it's not easy but it's worth it. I think it's one of those things. I think this is an underlying current in all of these that we are is like it's a choice you get to make. It's up to you. It's up to you. Are you gonna live a life where you know you're not gonna look at your fears and you're gonna? You know that's your choice, that's fine. You don't have to look at your fears, or you can look at your fears, or however you want to do it, it's up to you. Yeah, and I know for me, I try to look at my fears and it's not.
Speaker 2:It sucks and I there's still times I have to still kind of go well, and I think in that moment where I was focused on that picture that was moving, you Finally looked around the room and was like, oh, it's the fan. So, like I know you were scared, but like you look, and you you're like, okay, let's figure out something, because you know a ghost or whatever's not doing that, right, yeah, you were like oh, it's the fan. And then it was like, oh, disappear. And you you've looked at the bigger picture where I was just focused on my fear and that.
Speaker 1:So so maybe that yeah, that's a great analogy right, yeah, you get focused on your fear and you think.
Speaker 2:I'm assuming you don't remember that.
Speaker 1:I don't remember that I don't.
Speaker 2:I remember playing this day Because you know she had like old tiny pictures, like an old, like it was like when our dad was a baby. You know, yeah, and it was like on a rickety little you know Just moving.
Speaker 1:It's a great analogy. I love that.
Speaker 2:Thank you for bringing that.
Speaker 1:But, but it's a good.
Speaker 2:I mean it is and that's exactly because you were able to look outside and I was just focused on, and sometimes that fear paralyzes us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so sometimes that's why, like you know, finding somebody you can talk to about it I help sometimes too, in vocalizing the fear and and then having somebody that can look at it in a bigger picture and maybe ask some questions. You know, or if you can be yourself aware enough to try to okay this. I'm scared of this, but what else is there? Or sometimes I think we talked about this before on one of my friends that was like she was having car problems and she was like, oh, I need to. The only way I have to get a new car, and the only way and get a new car is my. My ex has to sign for it. Help me co-sign for it. It's like it that fear Letter to that's the only route there is. Yeah, and so then it's like sometimes we have to step back and think, okay, what are some of the other possibilities? But sometimes that fear freezes us.
Speaker 1:I've talked to people that have that have been like, well, there is no jobs out there that's gonna pay the same that I have, or I'm never gonna find a job, these kind of things because of the fear of change or the fear of, maybe the fear of failure. Whatever the fear is is like oh no, there's no jobs out there for me. I can't ever find a job, and you're and then. So we'd have to set and think is there really, is that really? Is there really no jobs? Or you know, or let's, let's open in. There's different ways and techniques so you can.
Speaker 2:You know Well, and I think fear keeps us into whatever you're afraid of. It keeps you laser focused on it, right, and so it's harder to like. Okay, yes, we're scared of this, but there's gotta be like the bigger picture. You know, looking at that and the fan was blowing the picture on the wall, on the wall and not like you know, a demon or sometimes, like I thought you were, like I think it's the fan I was probably tired.
Speaker 1:That's like, okay, we gotta figure out something. She's not gonna sleep.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, and I was just like oh, I could not take my eyes off that picture, so simple and sometimes that's what it's.
Speaker 1:It's crazy because a lot of these things we I think we mentioned this in some of them they're simple.
Speaker 2:They're uneasy, but they're simple as simple things, but it's it's also a really good picture of how dramatic I am In my normal life. And you're very like in little cool, let's figure this out logical and I'm like Focus, you looked around, you're like, I really think that's a good analogy. It's kind of our dynamic.
Speaker 1:So I like it, I think it's, I think it's good, okay, but so yeah. So this was one I wanted to do for us, just to kind of introduce, because fear is a big thing. Overcoming fear is huge, I know, for you know, and I wanted to bring it in and introduce it and kind of like kind of show a little bit of what we've gone through, how it's affected us in our lives In ways that we're trying to overcome it.
Speaker 2:Because you will become stagnant, because you won't be afraid to or you won't, you will be afraid to do what you, you know your life is supposed to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I Was miserable, I was absolutely, yeah, I never. And I know like I remember coming out of that and going I never want to be numb again, mm-hmm. So I couldn't feel happy, couldn't feel sad, it was just I felt nothing. And to be that numb and to feel nothing was just like this isn't a life and it wasn't what I wanted. So, yeah, so then, kind of like, okay, what's, it's not easy.
Speaker 1:So, but this is what the part of this is and to I think I'll probably put on Facebook and stuff and have people try to like if they have ideas like. It would be great to get ideas of how other people overcome fear or ways you look at it to overcome it and push past it, because I think I would love to hear those ideas and stuff. It would be awesome.
Speaker 1:You know, and then yeah, and then you always can find some people to talk to. So I guess that kind of leads into like I'm opening my, my coaching business, so so there's coaches, there's therapists. There's you know, find confidence or something like that, that people that can help you, that you trust, that you can talk to these things about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just getting someone else's opinion or not necessarily opinion, but just kind of their thoughts on the situation and be like well, I kind of see it like this, you know, just like the picture on the wall.
Speaker 1:All I saw was the picture of moving right, and so sometimes having somebody that can look at it and be like, well, what about this? What about that? They can just ask some other questions like I'm sure your therapist and stuff does that do work Absolutely. It can ask other questions and make you think, oh, okay, yeah, this isn't like or like we're talking about just being able to speak it, sometimes writing it down. That would help me out. Sometimes in my journaling I would start writing about things and then sometimes I would write about a fear and all this stuff and then something else would come out and I'd be like, oh, that's what it is.
Speaker 2:And I'm a huge overthinker, so in my mind it is like ten times worse. And then when I put it on my paper or I talk, when I when me and my ego talk, we talk about things, and they're like oh, this is not as bad as I was making it in my mind.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I think that was. I think it was pretty good. Is there anything? Yeah, so, basically, today was just introducing that, because this will flow into some of the other stuff that we have coming up like the being brave, and we will talk about fear more and more depth and and it'll come out in some other things that we're talking about. So, yeah, I'm excited, so yeah, so fear restricts flow. Do?
Speaker 2:you know what I'm saying. I'm going to point out. Do you mean that becomes stagnant?
Speaker 1:The choice is yours. Your life can be exactly what you think. I think that's one of our under our thing is to, like you, always tell me I'm taking my power back, and that's the biggest thing is is is taking your power back and empowering that. We have the choice, we can make the choice in what, how we want to be, and then knowing that can change a lot of things. I think Angel talked about it in hers too, so, but I love it Awesome. Thank you for being here today.
Speaker 2:Yes, thank you, all right, so we're glad you guys are enjoying it. I know what about. Three episodes are out now for are out there on wherever you get your podcast from. So we really appreciate all the love. You guys love us. I love y'all. Don't be fearful, talk about it, don't be stagnant, and if a picture is moving on the wall, there's probably a fan.
Speaker 1:So I'm just putting that out there for real too, unless you live in a haunted house. Yeah, exactly, I'm trying to sleep.
Speaker 2:My sister's trying to sleep, so please stop. But it's a week in all of our sleep. That's really the moral of the story.
Speaker 1:All of the story.
Speaker 1:I love it All right, as always, be brave be you and until next time stay wonderfully weird. Welcome to After Thoughts with Janet. I just listened to the episode of the one I recorded with Brenda. We have Brenda back this week and we are talking about fear, and fear restricts flow.
Speaker 1:So this is kind of a little thought that I had and wanted to share and something that made sense to me and how you know I share a little bit about some of my experiences with fear and how I overcome them. We will talk more on fear as we move on to some of the next, in the next episodes, so this is a good kind of beginners start in it. Especially, I want to look more into some different techniques that we can use to overcome fear, and so I will be putting it on on Facebook. If you want to share, feel free to reach out to us on our Facebook, the email or Instagram and let us know ways that you overcome fear or something that helps you, and when you have to look at something and overcome it. And then the other thing I wanted to talk about in this After Thoughts is you know, we've gone down to going every two weeks now.
Speaker 1:It's just kind of like in life sometimes you have to pivot and sometimes life just grows things at us that we don't expect and sometimes those pivots or those redirections that happen, we keep going. Those are learning, we're learning, we're growing. You know we're moving in a direction, and maybe it's a direction we don't really see or we didn't think about before, but it ends up being what's better for us anyway. So, yeah, so we're going down to every two weeks. Now, you know we may not stay there like that, but just, especially through the holiday season and things like that, it gets a little busy. So, yeah, I'm glad you guys are here with us, enjoy that, you guys continue to listen and I hope you have a great holidays and we will speak soon. Until next time, stay wonderfully weird.