Get ready to be inspired and entertained as we sit down with the extraordinary Carson Kirby host of Sugar Salt Soul. This conversation filled with humor, life lessons, and touching stories is not one to be missed! So buckle up and join us for an engaging chat and then check out Sugar Salt Soul and follow Carson on all platforms
Sugar Salt Soul: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR5PZgos4WjsnYLHPcXbLrg
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gcarsonirvin/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==
Get ready to be inspired and entertained as we sit down with the extraordinary Carson Kirby host of Sugar Salt Soul. This conversation filled with humor, life lessons, and touching stories is not one to be missed! So buckle up and join us for an engaging chat and then check out Sugar Salt Soul and follow Carson on all platforms
Sugar Salt Soul: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR5PZgos4WjsnYLHPcXbLrg
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gcarsonirvin/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==
Don't be using me for a clout. I'm not using you for clout, I'm gonna mess up my brand. I have a holy Christian brand.
Speaker 2:Is that what the brand is? Ah?
Speaker 1:["Trainisha English"].
Speaker 2:Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Things you Should Know podcast featuring Trenisha English. Hi everyone, I'm Trenisha English. Welcome to another episode. I'm super excited because we're gonna have a key key with my good friend Carson, and that's all we're gonna do today. We're gonna I'm sure you're gonna pick up some gems and some wisdom as we go, but we're just gonna have a conversation. Carson, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you something. I am so elated to be sitting here with such a fabulous, educated, smart, strong, chocolate-like woman who's really a Republican.
Speaker 2:Carson, that is not true.
Speaker 1:Forms as a Democrat. That is not true. I am not a Republican.
Speaker 2:Let me tell you all right now, not that there's anything wrong with being a Republican, but that is not how I choose to identify.
Speaker 1:She identifies as Ivanka Trump.
Speaker 2:I do not identify as Ivanka Trump.
Speaker 1:I've seen you in a tube top.
Speaker 2:In a tube top Ivanka Trump. Listen, I'm gonna tell you this the shoulders that I have are much too broad, are much too defined for me to ever be Ivanka Trump.
Speaker 1:Ivanka Trump from the neck up Leslie Trump.
Speaker 2:From the neck down. So you're really about to come on my platform and really try to talk about me. That's cool, the feeling is mutual.
Speaker 1:Look, this is Kiki with Carson Baby. And look, see it's hard. Let me tell you all something right now, cause y'all can't see me this equipment is not made for somebody. See, I'm built like we would use. I got a big body and a little head.
Speaker 2:This headphone key falling right off my head, but I am-, carson, that is actually factual. Like, if y'all know, at the end of the movie when she sprinkles the stuff on his head and it shrinks.
Speaker 1:That is the proportion of Carson's head to his body.
Speaker 2:I'm ill built, but you're lovely and we love you.
Speaker 1:I am. I am literally one of those commercials from the 1980s from Feed the Children.
Speaker 2:So, as we talk about that, carson, let me ask you, cause I've actually been meaning to ask you this for a while what is it like driving a Kia in this day and age, when they are being targeted for parts? And I don't know if this is a world or a nationwide thing, but I know currently, right now where we live, kias are being broken into at an alarming rate. So talk to me about your security process on your vehicle, cause I'm very interested.
Speaker 1:Well, when you drive a 1972 Kia, it's not a 72. Don't nobody want it. No, I don't worry about it cause I have a garage.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, I didn't realize that. But like, not even on the street cause we-.
Speaker 1:I don't park on the street cause I know what's going on in these streets.
Speaker 2:So when you go places you're never worried about like, oh, my Kia is when you dropping in a parking lot, at the I don't know, at IVs or yeah, or yeah, yeah because I have my phone is connected to my.
Speaker 1:Literally my phone lets me know if anything bumps my car, if my door is open and my window's open. I mean, technology is amazing. I'm really impressed, but-.
Speaker 2:This comes so far.
Speaker 1:Right, it's come so far but I mean only get it free for a year.
Speaker 2:So now after this year so after the year subscription-.
Speaker 1:I will never leave my garage. I'll be Ubering and taking lifts and things.
Speaker 2:Listen, this Kia gang stuff is kind of scary.
Speaker 1:You know it's crazy. You know, even as far as technology has come, the fact that they can literally pop open your door and put a USB cord into your driveshaft and take your car. That's why Kia what is?
Speaker 2:really going on. I can't get a USB port, that's how and Hyundai or whoever it is honey.
Speaker 1:Little Japanese people need to get it together, or-.
Speaker 2:Are both of them no, Kias are Korean.
Speaker 1:Kia and Hyundai's are sister companies.
Speaker 2:Oh really Well-.
Speaker 1:I did. Kia tell you right, and the palace sign looks so much alike.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I get that. The infinity and the Nissan are the same sort of way, so I get that Exactly, so I did it.
Speaker 1:But they're great cars, don't get me wrong. I love my Kia. They're very efficient on gas, they last a long time and, hell, my big body fits in it. So let's go.
Speaker 2:Listen, I love it.
Speaker 1:I had a Kia Soul before I had my Kia Soul. I remember the Hamster car, remember, that's what I used to call it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. I appreciate you, carson, thank you for being here today. Did I thank you for coming?
Speaker 1:Twice.
Speaker 2:I'm really grateful for you to be here Because, Carson, we go way back but not really. It feels like I've known you a really long time, but I actually haven't known you About four or five years. We have four or five years and you're having a of the time that I've known you. You're having a Renaissance moment. You're really exploring things. So I want to take a moment and talk about all the new stuff that you're working on with Carson Kirby Entertainment. Why talk to me?
Speaker 1:I mean it's really amazing where I am now it's. I posted something today on my Facebook and I said I never, I never, struggled with being who I am, but my struggle was being who I am in environments where I want, where I need it, to be received or accepted. So I never had a problem with being who I am. But being that I come from a such a religious background and being that I was I mean, let's just be real I was preaching at such a young age of 15. You know, all I knew was church. Church was my life, church was everything I knew. Church was my background. It's all I knew. So, you know, even though where I am today is not really a Renaissance, this is really a revisit. You know, when I left Kentucky and moved to Indianapolis, I started dancing at Union Station. I don't know if many people remember Union Station, but I was one of those guys on the stage doing TV tunes and flipping and carrying on.
Speaker 1:I was skinny then, so you know I could touch my toes. But it was then that it was doing a black expo and some strange guy just walked up to me like, oh my God, you're amazing.
Speaker 1:Blah, blah, blah, blah Gave me his card and I was supposed to go to New York and audition for a stage play called Five Games Nick, five Guys named Moe and I was so excited went to the church, told the first lady to church, oh my God, this is what's happening. She looked at me and said oh, saints, don't do that, you're not saved if you do that. And because that's all I knew, I was like, oh my God, if I go to New York and audition for this play, I'm going to hell. Well, long story short, I got fat and got older and I just kind of moved on with my life. So where I am today is just like I guess it is a Renaissance. It's like I just finally realized that at some point you just got to live for yourself and let the chips fall where they may.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. So you've been talking about where you are and letting the chips fall where they may. But for the people who don't know, what is it? What are we talking about? I know we got Sugar Salt Soul new episode up as we speak right now. Absolutely so Sugar.
Speaker 1:Salt Soul was birthed through me. I've always been in hospitality. I've been a restaurateur my whole life. I've sprinkled some things in between working in funeral homes. I've done a little bit of this, a little bit of that, but at the end of the day I always ended up back in the restaurant, back in the kitchen. You know, it started for me when I moved to San Antonio, when I graduated high school. Shout out to Bendavis High School class of 1994.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, here we go, here we go, here we go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it should have been 1993, but you know I was a little slow, so we're not going to talk about this.
Speaker 2:Well, my issue is that you are a Bendavis Giant and you are now the second Bendavis Giant that I've had on the podcast and as a as a Warren Central Warrior, I need to correct that.
Speaker 1:So thank, you when who?
Speaker 2:Oh, that's what you want to do, that's what we're going to do.
Speaker 1:No, for real. What school was that?
Speaker 2:I went to Warren Central, the best school in the city, the pride of the East Side.
Speaker 1:Oh, charter school okay.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, that's what we're going to do, yeah, so.
Speaker 1:On my podcast, All right we're going to keep telling that's okay, that's all right, I thank you for being here 72 times and you keep-. And I told you that I was very glad to be here, but I've never heard of this Warren Central place that you keep speaking of.
Speaker 2:Okay, All right, the last delusions. We're going to talk about how you're keeping your mental together and clearly it's by being delusional, but-.
Speaker 1:Warren Central. Double-taste on San Antonio. Back to San Antonio. You graduated from that one place and I, to get a little deep, moved to San Antonio and fell upon some rough times. Actually, to be honest, moved to San Antonio and became homeless. I was homeless and it's kind of funny because always say God has a funny personality because I walked around San Antonio homeless and I had a can of food but I didn't have a can opener to open it. Can you imagine you have food but you have no way to get to it?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So that's a whole another story. All within itself. That has a meaning within itself. But starting going to these programs where you get help, and this lady was like, hey, you need to go check out this community college. They can probably help you with some resources. They went there and they were like, hey, we have this culinary program, we can get you signed up, get some training, get you on it, get your job. Now, mind you, I'd already worked in the restaurants and things like that, but I was young, stupid, trying to find myself and just wasn't as focused as I am now. But when it signed up and changed my life, it was just like wow, I worked in restaurants but I've never had this one-on-one instruction on knife skills and learning the five mother's sauces, and it was just amazing. So that's how I got my certification. Now, no, I'm not a big time New York City trained chef, but, baby, I got a certificate. So I'm a chef Boom and I can cook and it tastes delicious.
Speaker 2:It does taste delicious and I know I've had several of your dishes. I really want to tap on that because we love to try and give the people little nuggets of wisdom, and so I do want to revisit that. No, I'm not this big New York City chef, but I am a chef. I have a certificate, because I think so often people get caught up on what they think the dream is supposed to look and feel like that they forget that you don't just one day become the big New York City chef. You have to work to that, and that is also part of the journey, right, part of the dream.
Speaker 1:Everybody's journey is their journey. Now, if you look at this last episode of Sugar Salt Soul, it's very interesting because I actually go back to my hometown of Cadets, Kentucky, and I had not been there in 30 years. I struggled with this episode because I almost was like I'm not doing it, I'm not going back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what got you to the point where you're like I can go back?
Speaker 1:I was pretty much like screw it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what do I?
Speaker 1:have to lose. You have to realize. This was a town where I was a preacher, I was known as a preacher, but this was also a town where I was outed, where I was trying to find myself, and I was literally outed and those same people that supported me and put me in their pulpit and put me in their churches and had me sing no longer wanted anything to do with me.
Speaker 1:So I had to go face a lot of these people that I know had talked about me, had dogged me, but it was the most therapeutic and best experience I'd ever had in my life.
Speaker 2:Do you wish you had done it sooner?
Speaker 1:Yes, I do, I do. There's a lot of things from this trip that I wish I would have done, that I would never have the opportunity to do because some of those people are gone, or whatever, but it was helpful to me to know that in two of the four interviews, two of those people talked about how I was mischievous or even flat-out sad. We didn't ever think you would mount to nothing.
Speaker 1:They said this to my face and at first it bothered me, but it was a lot of fun. You know, it was like it was said to me aren't you glad you went back, so that you're glad you left? Yeah, and I am, and it's not so much that I left because I didn't love it, because I love the community, I love the people in my hometown I really do. But one of the things that I learned in counseling was I was mischievous because I had this artistic mind, this artistic mind, all this artistic energy not artistic artistic energy in me that nobody knew how to express or to get out of me. I had no way to relieve it. So it all came out in strange ways, you know. So it is what it is.
Speaker 2:That makes a lot of sense and I really am thankful for you for sharing that. You mentioned counseling right and all of this renaissance that you're having, so I have to ask you what are you doing for your mental health? How are you keeping the chakras aligned?
Speaker 1:You know, and honestly, I keep myself aligned with morning meditation.
Speaker 2:Yay.
Speaker 1:I'm really into journaling and affirmations are really key in my life right now. You know I was always taught growing up that was of the devil.
Speaker 2:Affirming yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, that was you know speaking that stuff is of the devil. But in reality Christianity is nothing but full of affirmations.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Speak those things as though they were. You know what's over? A man thinking so, is he?
Speaker 2:The power of life and death is in the tongue, the power of life and death is in the tongue.
Speaker 1:It is all affirmation. And so you know just that revolution of becoming who I am. That's how I keep myself aligned, just really keeping myself in check and not worrying about nobody else's business.
Speaker 2:That's real. And here is your weekly reminder to mind your business and drink water. It really does well for y'all. And I'm telling you, carson sits across this table 163 years old and his black has not cracked. It is getting a little droopy but it has not cracked and it is because he is minding his business and he is drinking his water. I really wish I've never wanted there to be a visual component to this show, but the look on your face right now makes me want a visual component. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Just because Tracy Chapman is a really trying to come for me Now, mind you, I get my water through Mr Jack himself with a little Coca-Cola.
Speaker 2:With a little Coca-Cola splashed in it. And when we say little Coca-Cola, that's what we mean just a little.
Speaker 1:He has kept me. He is the most faithful man I know and we have a great relationship.
Speaker 2:Yes, and it feels kind of serendipitous, I guess, because you're from Kentucky.
Speaker 1:And there you go, using big words.
Speaker 1:I don't think I actually used that one correctly, you probably didn't, but anyway, no, but I mean, in all realness I do drink my water, among other things, but I really do just focus on myself and it hasn't always been that way. Being such a big personality and such a big busy body, you know, I know, but being in folks business and causing, you know, staring up trouble, but these days, since I've been focused on myself, I really things are starting to happen, you know, because I'm really focusing on Carson.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I really love that. And I love that you talk about like affirmation, because I'm actually on a journey currently with some affirmations because they really do have power. And even when, like and when you talk about the manifestation, I'm starting to feel like some of that is just your perspective, like, if I can shift my perspective to be positive, I'm going to have a better time and outcome. Like, some of it is just that.
Speaker 1:Like it's that simple, that's real tall.
Speaker 2:I am showing up in. Instead of showing up from a place of saying I know I'm going to be in deficit, I show up in saying I know I'm going to be in a place of abundance, and that perspective shift really will change your life, and it is really having a lot of change in my life, at least right now.
Speaker 1:Where I look at myself now is before I walk in that room, I'm like I'm about to change this atmosphere.
Speaker 2:Ooh, that is, I love that.
Speaker 1:I don't care what's going on, but once I walk in this room, the atmosphere is going to shift and it's going to work in my favor.
Speaker 1:Ooh and you speak that at all times right, no matter what room you are in, whether it's work, whether it's church, whether it's whatever the doctor's office, the chiropractor. When I walk in that room, I'm going to change the atmosphere of this space and it's going to work in my favor. So I don't know what's been going on. The receptionist might have had a bad day, but by the time she meets me and I leave, her whole atmosphere has changed. Her whole mentality has changed. I've been a blessing to her just by being me. Why? Because I've embraced who I am. I understand that Carson, the big personality, big mouth, funny, loud person, that's a gift from God.
Speaker 2:It really is. I love that you say that, because I just was going to say to you and to me, and at least in my spiritual journey what you're talking about is actual Christianity, like that's actually spreading the gospel, that's actually the commandment of love, that is actually showing up and saying I'm going to show up and be a positive presence and at the end of the day, after you have this encounter with me, your question is going to be how do I have another encounter with this person and what is it about this person that makes them show up that way? And I think that is truly when you see heaven on earth, like that is the heaven that people are searching for.
Speaker 1:It's funny that you say that because, like I said, at 15, I was preaching by the time I was 17,. I was licensed and ordained and traveling and doing all these things and I thought ministry was pulpit. I thought ministry was behind the four walls. I thought I had to have on the collar, I had to follow all the affirmations and strive to be all these big things. Look, it's 2023, baby, somebody with full people in their church can be a bishop or an apostle. And now these folks are ambassadors. And what is an ambassador? I have never seen an ambassador in the Bible.
Speaker 2:In the Bible, like when it comes to spirituality. I'm not quite sure what an ambassador is, but I do know what an ambassador is to like like the United Nations, or like an ambassador to a country. I do understand that they ain't been to Jerusalem.
Speaker 1:They ain't been to Hallville. And then, ambassador, listen, they've lost the focus of the mission. And that's what I've learned. T is that I'm still in ministry. Yes, I have never denounced my calling. I have never denounced that I am called of God. What I have done is I've taken who I am and who God created me to be, and learn to take God out the box.
Speaker 2:Yeah, out of the four walls of. I often talk about it like the four walls of the church house.
Speaker 1:Before he knew me, he formed me. Yes, in his image. See, we have this image of God. God is so big. There are billions of people on this earth and they're all in his image. What does that tell you about God's personality?
Speaker 2:Well, it tells me that he's got a lot of different personality.
Speaker 1:Like there are a lot of different aspects to who he is, and that's why I've learned that, whether you're Buddhist, whether you're Muslim, whether you're atheist, whatever you are, I've learned to embrace people's religious freedoms, embrace their views and learn from them, because listening to them has a lot of times empowered and bettered me to be the better Christian.
Speaker 2:If you say, what does the freedom feel like now?
Speaker 1:The freedom feels like now that I'm able to openly say that I am a same gender loving black man. That's professional, successful, full of power, full of love for himself and for his fellow man. It is so much freedom, See people think literally, because what I've learned is people have a mindset of what they think that looks like.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:They think that everybody's out here just fricking and doing everything with everybody.
Speaker 2:And what was that word?
Speaker 1:again Fricking. I got that from. I Can't Take it. Larry Lai, that's my boy. Okay, I got it from him, you know, and one of the people and people gave this man such a hard time. One of the people that got me to this point is the great Carlton Pearson. Listening to him and his revelation to inclusiveness Really opened up my eyes, you know, and you know people might take this the wrong way. You know, I was done with church, done with church, and a friend of ours took me to church and I met a pastor that just really blew me away. Church is no longer in existence. Greater Faith Apostolic Church. Pastor Mark Plummer Sr. This man had the ability to connect with people based on what God saw in them and not what he saw and not what he saw.
Speaker 1:I was in a service one time and he looked at me after service. He said, carson, you got to quit letting the devil intimidate you. Mind blowing, mind changing. What did that mean to me? Quit letting the devil intimidate you. The devil wasn't me and my life and who I choose to love. The devil or the Negro is trying to tell me who to love and how to be. That's why I couldn't worship freely, because I was too concerned about on my hands position, right, am I standing correctly? On my clothes too tight? You know now that's not what I'm talking about. On my clothes too tight, you know now not no more, because I'm fat. So you know they always Back then they were, they were too.
Speaker 1:They are now, but it's pretty good for him. Buttons near deliverance, honey. But I'm saying you know. So, this journey where I am now, and for me to be able to be on this podcast, now some folks going to know who Carson is.
Speaker 1:I think I'm like what you know, because I never heard who I was, except one time, and this is a true story. I never hid who I was. I've always been open. I never flunked it, I didn't talk about it. You know, I came out doing praise service on a Sunday night, just stood up and told church everything, everything, everything, because I was crying. I'm one thing about me. I've never been a hypocrite. I've always said if I'm big enough to do it, I'm big enough to tell you I'm going to do it. Yes.
Speaker 1:So I went to the pastor and I told him everything that was going on. He said well, don't tell nobody, we just going to work it out. And at this time I was teaching a youth Sunday school class that next Sunday I'll show up for youth Sunday school class. And ain't nobody in my classroom. Classroom is empty, like what is going on? People looking at me, crazy. So I finally find out that he told his wife and his wife told some of the other members of the church. Oh so now folks talking about me. Oh, I got y'all. So I stood up that night and test the money service and told the church what was going on. My grandmother in the past. It looked like ghosts by the time I was done.
Speaker 2:Not your grandmother, because I mean again, but that is living. That's the step that you were just talking about, is the step to live in the freedom I've never, never, hid.
Speaker 1:The one time I tried to hide who I was, I joined another. I was in another church in this city and I had gotten engaged, maybe.
Speaker 2:Yes, I was engaged Well how have I known you all of this time and we've never talked through your Because you know, and this is the, this is the real T, though this is the T.
Speaker 1:She was amazing person and I really loved her, but you need to understand the love was not that level of love. Yeah, and I loved her enough to not do that to her. My grandmother was so excited. She was calling everybody in my family and my good auntie you know, my good auntie, my good auntie she said why are you excited?
Speaker 1:You know that boy is gay. I come from a very strong family, a very loving family. We are gung ho. Now, mind you, when I came out, it wasn't always that way. No, and a lot of it was more me and my mindset and what I thought. Now, mind you, when I came out, I told a friend of mine in Kentucky, who then told my cousin, who then told my great aunt who then told everybody and all hell broke loose.
Speaker 1:So, and one of the great things that I experienced is when my grandmother was dying.
Speaker 1:You know we had a lot of time to prepare for her death because she had had a stroke, but there was a period where she was bedridden and we had some time alone and she wasn't responding to a lot of people, but she would always respond to me and one of the things she has said to me was she looked at me and she said if it's one thing I know is that you're all right. That was the affirmation of a lifetime for me and that changed my life. It let me know she accepts me and she approves of me. It wasn't always that way. Coming from a religious background, a very religious family, you know I would get the looks I still get looks from certain family members, but the hell with them, you know, because when I hit that peak, then the Negro's going to be in my face talking about that's my cousin, that's my, and you know what I'm going to say, I'll say it for you, because when you hit it big, I'm coming with you.
Speaker 1:And everybody can't, everybody can't stand.
Speaker 2:Everyone can not come.
Speaker 1:You know why? Because they can't stand that, that altitude, they can't breathe, I mean well, and here.
Speaker 2:Maybe here's this because I said I said I wasn't going to do this, but I actually am going to do this. Here's the thing that I want the people to know this week Not everyone can go with you, and it doesn't mean that they weren't valuable in the level that they were with you or the times that they weren't. They were with you. It doesn't mean that that relationship is bad, or say it doesn't mean that things had to end on a negative. No, just some people are not built for the new altitude and they can't go with you. And you can be like Zeus in Hercules come back down, visit Hercules, visit your baby Varmus and then go back up. But not everyone gets to go with you and that's okay. That's family and everything.
Speaker 1:Everyone you know it's one of those things where you have to reach a level of maturity where you understand that that's all right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's okay. It's okay. There are people that what is it a reason and a season? Right, like there are people that just cannot go. There are very few people in this world that are kicking it still with their best friend from kindergarten, and there are a lot of reasons why that might have happened. Right, different changes in life, but not everyone gets to go.
Speaker 1:And my best friend from kindergarten is married to one of my favorite cousins, Really, and we still I mean, it's just like when we get together it's a good time, but it's not like I'm calling them every day and just to. Everybody has their own journey and every season has its purpose, like you said, and I've learned to embrace those seasons. Now that I'm older, I look at, I'm able to look back at certain seasons of my life and I'm like, dang, if it wasn't for that person, this wasn't happening. If it wasn't for that person, I would have never met this person or this. So I'm thankful for all of that, but where I just I've learned to embrace and enjoy the journey.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's important.
Speaker 1:Even even when friends or family drop off.
Speaker 2:I enjoyed the journey because it's good and I wouldn't be who I am or where I am right If it had not been for the journey. So you do have to the stop and smell the roses Like, and I think, as I am starting to age, I'm starting to realize the value of that, because there are parts in my life or things that have happened in my life that people are impressed by.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:But I was so focused on getting the accolade that I don't even remember. So when they come to me and say, how did you, how were you able to do X, y, z, girl, I don't know, I was so focused on what the end was, I didn't take stock of what was happening along the journey, and that stuff isn't really important.
Speaker 1:That's cool, though, because it lets you know people are always watching.
Speaker 2:Always, always watching.
Speaker 1:That's one of the things with sugar salt souls that I struggle with, Because I look at all the views that I get 400, 500, 600 views but only 45 people will take the time to actually hit the like button.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thanks for that reminder, because I don't know if I'd be liking it. And y'all, and, as we talk about this, as y'all listening, be sure to like and subscribe, if you haven't already.
Speaker 1:Like and subscribe, because that's how we get what we need to be. But I was able to connect with another influencer online that I just happened to just ask a question. I wouldn't expect an answer and they were like look, your success is not going to come, is not going to come from the people that's closest to you.
Speaker 2:No, it's from the complete strangers that.
Speaker 1:The strangers that relate to your story and what you're presenting. Why? Because for some reason, even in it could be, it could be just a us thing, black people. We have an issue with supporting and helping people get to the next level.
Speaker 2:So I know that people and we talk about crabs in a barrel mentality and I'm not saying it is not black people because it is but I do think, like I want to expand it because it is other envy is real, it's very real. Like envy is real and I think people don't realize how much they are envying others or the things that other have that others have. Right, like I can think of people that I follow on social media just to see what's going on in their lives. And even though I don't necessarily meaning the malice of it by intent of it or behind it is no, there's a malice in the intent I am looking to see. Right, I'm either, I'm looking to see what you have to compare myself and see what I ain't got. And that is what I think, because not everyone realizes that, because we don't talk about it, not everyone realizes that we feel that way, so we're ashamed of that feeling and I think that is what stops people from fully stepping into support. It's the envy.
Speaker 1:So let me ask you this with you watching these people or seeing what they're doing, do you feel that hold you back from reaching your full potential by comparing yourself to them and trying to reach their goal? That's their journey?
Speaker 2:It is their journey and I will say it has hold me, held me back, and that has been something that I have been actively deprogramming in myself because I've gotten so focused on and that's when I talked about, like the meditation, the switching or the affirmations and the switching the perspective, because every morning I was waking up saying I don't have these things that I won't, I don't have the relationship that I want, I don't have the home that I want, I don't have the money in my bank that I want Exactly, I was devaluing the things that I did have because I was so focused on what I didn't.
Speaker 2:And the second I started shifting my perspective on no, I don't have everything that I want in my home, right, I don't have the big deck on the back, I don't have the sunroof on the front, I don't have my study and my smoking room, right, but this is not the final destination for me. I'm not supposed to have all that right now. So I need to enjoy the journey and wait till I get to all those things, because I know that all those things are coming. Well, let me help you.
Speaker 1:See, I'm about to tap into that Carson, that being the, you know when, tas you know that Carson, that Carson that. Carson, I can honestly say that I don't think I've really experienced envy on that level. Oh, really.
Speaker 1:Never, mind you. My mindset is there are people that I look up to that I watch, like you know Darius Cooks, larry Rie, live, sherry Shepherd. I don't envy them, but I'll watch them Like, wow, how are they able to do that this way? How can I incorporate them? Now, mind you, some things they do is just not my personality. Yeah, so, finding those niche I'm trying to find, I'm watching these people trying to find that niche. What is it that they did? That connected to the people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and to me, like I think that that's sharpening the iron to me, right, and I like I do that too, Right, I listen to, I'm doing this podcast thing now. Thank you all for listening. So I'm listening to a lot more podcasts. What is keeping me?
Speaker 1:engaged Exactly.
Speaker 2:To me. I think that that's like the sharpening of the tool. I'm saying when I look at Gabrielle Union and her beautiful family and her fine ass husband and oh, you don't like to Dwyanne. Anyway, I think he's fine, Her lips need some grease, you know what, and I do think he licks them a little too much. They do end up chat, but I would fix that if he was mine.
Speaker 1:Well, we don't know what Gabrielle will be doing to him.
Speaker 2:Listen, probably a lot and I think about like this huge, like I think about because I actually envy lifestyle there's a lifestyle that I want to live.
Speaker 2:But this house is going to be able to get you to that next house yes, and I get that, and so that is what I had to check. I spent a lot of time saying I am not where I want to go, so therefore I am a failure, instead of saying I need to enjoy the journey. That doesn't happen overnight, you don't wait. Gabrielle Union did not wake up and hit 33 years old and it was all set Like. That didn't happen, do?
Speaker 1:you know why I used to think I was a failure? Why and this is the honest to God truth I used to think I was a failure? Because I was an abyssin. I walked away from a church. Yeah, I wouldn't cut out to be a pastor because I'm, I had the personality I. I admit it. I am not called to be a pastor because, nick Rose, get on my nerves and show up the next Sunday. There'd be a sign on the door saying church down the street, this one's closed. I'm not called to be a pastor. The pastors, they think it's a glamorous life and that's a tough life. It's a sacrifice that I'm not willing to give up. I looked down because I didn't have all the things that I saw. People that started after me get. Yeah, I had the churches and and the following, but I also had that one thing. I had that thorn in my flesh which people made me feel like to be a thorn, you know. But it really wasn't a thorn, it was just who.
Speaker 2:I am, yeah, and I hear. That's one thing that I can say honestly say that I've never done. I've never looked next to me, I've never envied the people next to me or the people behind me. That's y'all's thing, is the people ahead of me that I'm trying to catch.
Speaker 1:I didn't, I was just mad at. I was always mad at myself for, not for nuts.
Speaker 2:It's funny that you say that, because I actually sit in that space. I work for a company. I've only been there five years and there are people who have been in my organization since it started. That are are people who've been in my organization for 10, 15 years. That are not where I am at as far as like the rain, but do they want to be that?
Speaker 2:Yes, they do, and they've said to my face on a number of occasions and they and this is having multiple time, multiple people they say to me like, oh, you've had a meteoric rise here or you've really just like, blazed your way up and what they don't. And they I think they say it to me. Their intent is to compliment me and say that I am impressive, but it actually means to me that, oh, you don't read my resume. Like I am here, where I am in this organization, because I put in my work somewhere else for 10 years and I jumped over and came here. But you're so focused on the five years that you've known me that you're negating the things that I worked on in my past.
Speaker 1:Can we?
Speaker 2:talk about that. Come on, let's talk about it.
Speaker 1:That is one of the things that really irks me, and I found this to be true even with myself and other people. You've been there five years. People might have known you. I've known you for five years five years.
Speaker 1:but the thing is, I've known you for five years, but I still only know of you what you've allowed me to know. You could have known me for 15, 17, 20 years, but you still really don't know me. You've only know what I've allowed you privy to know. I have friends I've known for 30 years. There's some things I'm sure I will never know about them, because I'm not privy to know that. We have to get out of our mindset that, oh, we've been friends for 20 years. I know you.
Speaker 1:No, you know what I've allowed you to know, I've allowed you to see, yes, and that irks my nerves because people think we've been friends for so long that they know you and they don't understand why you are doing this or how you got this, and then they start asking questions about certain things. They don't realize there was a whole life before.
Speaker 2:I met you, yes, and you have to inquire about that because it's not in me. I live the life, so it's not on me. I don't think to show up and say let me read you my resume and tell you all these things that have happened. And if you don't ask and I'm going to, here's our Zodiac portion of the show this is the Libra and me, the cancer in you. Because we are guarded, people, right, we are extremely sensitive, very much so. So we, before you can get to the place where you can hurt me, I'm going to put a massive guard up. You're going to have to pass some tests before you're allowed to enter this room and then, once you enter that room, they're testing it to get to the next room right Like.
Speaker 2:This is a process, and if you get satisfied with where you are in the maze, I'm not going to entice you to keep going down the, to keep going into different rooms If that's where you want to stay. That's where you want to stay and because of that, you have to realize that there may be things going on in my life or a place that I am or where I sit that I might not share with you because you haven't you haven't shown me that you can be that close to me or you can protect, that you are going to allow me to be that vulnerable and I don't have to be worried about what comes after that and I think I've failed in that area, because and we can end with this if you want to- Carson about the crime.
Speaker 1:No, I'm not. I'm not about the crime, but I'm just being very vulnerable and being very honest that I have allowed people so close to me and I've opened myself up so many times to where I have had ideas stolen. I've shared my vision and it's been stolen. I've shared ideas it's been stolen. I've shared stories that have been stolen. You know so, but I never say anything. You know why? Because I don't know how I do it or why I do it, but I let people take what they wanna take and I sit back and watch them fail.
Speaker 2:Cause it wasn't theirs and it wasn't theirs to take.
Speaker 1:If it's not your vision, it's not the flur yeah it's not gonna work.
Speaker 2:We've got to talk about the new ministry. I loved that you talked about it like that, because we have to start seeing ministry as bigger than the church, right? So we got to talk about the new ministry.
Speaker 1:Sugar soul, soul, soul. You know again me connecting and listening to people outside of the four walls. One of the people that really drove this into me was and he's very controversial in so many ways is Larry Live. He talked about how there is ministry in everything. Ministry should be in every walk of life.
Speaker 1:I've always felt I've had an entertainment call. I've always been drawn to entertainment. You know, even when I was a struggling feeling actor and I was doing my little extra roles, whatever, whatever time I got on screen, I was mostly ladies, you know doing plays in Indianapolis. You know people don't realize I did community theater at theater on the square on Massachusetts Avenue back in the 90s, come on. And I was, you know, typecast. But I did it, hey, prince. But you know it was like Welcome to the podcast, prince. I've always had that ministry in me. But because it wasn't in line with what church thought it should be and church was my life and all I knew I just let that dream go.
Speaker 1:But God gave me a second chance and Sugar Salt Soul came about when I decided to do a competition called the Collar Brown Favorite Chef and that was dealing with the James Beard Awards. Now, mind you, competition and more poor donations. Yes, so they pretty much used the platforms of people to get everybody that they know, the poor, into donations. So in that, you know, somebody was like, hey, you should do this, and I had talked about that. We were sitting somewhere, I talked about it and I said, hey, what do y'all think about this now? Everybody was great, but you know, some people said it was stupid and it was a bad idea.
Speaker 2:You always gotta have a hater Not going there. Anyway. Listen, jesus had 12 friends.
Speaker 1:one of them was a hater, one of them was a hater, but at the end of the day, I went for it with it anyway, and so Sugar Salt Soul was born. You can find Sugar Salt Soul on YouTube. Yes, at Sugar Salt Soul, we are four episodes in. Fifth episode is coming up in a couple of weeks. It's really amazing. We're growing all the time. You can find me on Instagram at G Carson Urban, and Facebook at Sugar Salt Soul. So we're out there. We're really growing a Pat platform and, of course, my manager and my production lead is the one and only your sister.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she was on the. She was the first guest of the podcast. She was the first guest of the podcast. She's also the producer of this show as well.
Speaker 1:Podcast. Now she don't get herself the credit, but I'm gonna shout it out baby honey, yes, I am, she's amazing. So that name is Aliyah.
Speaker 2:English Aliyah English. I love her. I do believe it's Aliyah English underscore. Through one seven, we'll get the. We'll get it. She's an amazing guest, so if you're looking, for some.
Speaker 1:if you're looking to do some work and you need some commercials or you need some shots, give her a call. It's gonna cost you, We'll give her a call.
Speaker 2:She's worth it. She's worth it. It is totally worth it. She's worth every dime I'm paying for her right now.
Speaker 1:So look, but for real Sugar Salt Soul. We came about and you and your sister really pushed me.
Speaker 1:I was like, oh, okay, I'm gonna do this. And ever since the first episode, I was like, oh my God, I am in love with this and what it is doing. It is not only allowing me to share my love for food, my love for the industry, it is allowing me to connect with people. This thing is going so much more than just food, you know. It is really gonna turn into a ministry of helping people through food.
Speaker 2:Yeah, come on, help me through some pork chops, it's gonna be able to minister.
Speaker 1:show other people who have amazing ministries in food, you know that don't have the spotlight. They don't have the funds to get the spotlight. So that's the whole point of that. I wanna highlight some of these people that are doing amazing things that will never be noticed, but in that it is also ministering to me.
Speaker 2:Good, oh, I love that it's circling back.
Speaker 1:It's feeding your soul it is feeding my soul, because I love people, I love connecting with people. I talk to anybody, and that's I don't know if it's a gift or a curse, but I talk to anybody, depending on if you're with him it's an annoyance. And depending on the circumstance where we're at yeah, where we're at yeah. So, depending on the circumstances, what you gonna get.
Speaker 2:And what state of mind we are in.
Speaker 1:And what state of mind we're in, but I love people, and doing this is allowing me to connect with people. It's allowing me to connect with people that I thought I would never reconnect with.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah, cause we talked about going home.
Speaker 1:This last episode I went home and I talked to one of the oldest deacons that's been in my life ever. He's my great uncle's best friend, you know. I talked to high school friends that I hadn't talked to in forever. I talked to one of my teachers and educators.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, it was just amazing to see that perspective of what I was then, which I know. I was a Hellion. I was mischievous, I was bad in school. No, you don't understand. I was bad, not stealing, not robbing, not doing none of that. I was just very mischievous Again. I had all this built up energy that I needed to get out and it just came out in class. So it is what it is. But for them to see where I am now from, I left K-diss at 18 and I went back at 48. Now, mind you, I had popped in for funerals and things like that, but I had never, I hadn't been to that trick out of him festival in 30 years.
Speaker 2:And I'm sure it smelled so good.
Speaker 1:It smelled delirious, but it ain't nothing, Chany.
Speaker 2:The hell festival smelled delirious, but it ain't.
Speaker 1:Chany Ain't nothing, chany. Chany's still doing the money in the haystack. And the world Now, the known for the world's largest biscuit. That we didn't make it to the biscuit because our interviews took so long. But y'all, this is the world. This biscuit is so big that they gotta put it in the oven with a crane.
Speaker 2:What oven is it going into Hell? I don't know. We didn't make it down there to see it.
Speaker 1:I can't remember, but they cook a big biscuit and then they serve it on Country Ham. So you know the Country Ham Festival, country Ham and Kentucky barbecue is just, it's a Western Kentucky thing and Country Ham is a Tennessee thing too as well. But if you've never had Country Ham, it is a cured salted meat. It's so good. But baby, when I tell you, a little pressure, you are gonna need to drink a lot of water after it, but it is delicious.
Speaker 2:The sodium content is through the roof. But if you got blood pressure, it's just don't eat that, don't do it.
Speaker 1:Cause you gonna stroke out in the middle of that sandwich.
Speaker 2:And I don't know no.
Speaker 1:CPR, or so I'm just gonna take your sandwich and finish it and then play with it.
Speaker 2:That might be the best piece of advice we've given on this show so far. If you've got high blood pressure, don't eat the Country Ham and don't hang out with Carson, because you probably stroke out with a knife with me too.
Speaker 1:So you know cause it takes a special person to hang with me. Sugar, salt, soul is just a tip of the iceberg. You know, we got some visitors coming out. 2024, baby. You know, my good auntie, mother May, I is gonna be popping up.
Speaker 2:So hey, yes, we are on. We will be on the lookout. We'll have to have you back to promote that. Mother may I 2024. We're gonna have you back on the podcast. A lot Carson, because you've given so many nuggets of wisdom over the time here. Give us your social media handles. Where can we find you?
Speaker 1:at you can find me on YouTube at sugar salt soul. Sugar S U G A R salt S? A L T so S U? U? L. Now, that's very relevant, because maybe I'm a little salty in the right situation, but I'm always sweet and I'm gonna give you a whole lot of soul. That's why it's sugar salt soul On Instagram, gcarson Urban, and on Facebook at sugar salt soul. Please go on, please follow, like and share.
Speaker 2:Like, subscribe and share, share, and let me tell y'all, the recipes are great, the food is great, the interviews are great, and I mean y'all just heard Carson on the podcast. He's pretty great too. So this is what you get.
Speaker 1:Did you?
Speaker 2:just burp? Yeah, but I was trying to hold it in a little bit. Yeah, did you hear it in the audio?
Speaker 1:The producer got my burp out. You literally, literally sounded like Esther Olo in good time. Really, I was just waiting for damn damn damn.
Speaker 2:First of all, let me say this, and you may have meant that as Shay, but I love Esther's voice, so I wasn't trying to be shady.
Speaker 1:Esther was immaculate she really was.
Speaker 2:She really was.
Speaker 1:She was right in front of our time In Rosewood when she dropped them peas and died. I ain't never seen nobody die like that. Ha ha ha. Maybe them peas rolled and she fell right over. I said you better die, esther. Ha ha ha.
Speaker 2:Listen, so I'm going to take that as a compliment. Carson, thank you so much for being here today. I'll thank you for the 100th time, so we can make it even more.
Speaker 1:Thank you, I have had such an amazing time.
Speaker 2:Thank you for being vulnerable with me and my listeners.
Speaker 1:I know you don't really know us that well, but Very vulnerable tonight and Whatever it is what it is, see what you want to say. But you come for me, baby. You better be ready, because baby mother coming for you.
Speaker 2:Mother is coming. Well, everyone, thank you for listening. Carson is here. Be sure to check him out. This was the Things you Should Know podcast with Trinisha English. I'm Trinisha English. And one more quick reminder to drink water and mind your business. I'll see you next time. Like, subscribe and share.
Speaker 1:Even in churches, especially people that hang with me. And I refuse. I was a lot and you know it's funny because you won't even go to church with me.
Speaker 2:It's not because I don't want to worship with you. No, let's talk about it.
Speaker 1:I had a ministry opportunity with the Caucasian flavor.
Speaker 2:That's what we're calling it.
Speaker 1:And y'all wouldn't go lift your hands and do on the one and the three.
Speaker 2:Because that was the first thing. I don't have one and three in me, I've only got two and four. So I was already underqualified to show up. I did not meet the minimum requirements.
Speaker 1:Well, y'all missed the good blessing because, baby, they were one and three in all the whole time.
Speaker 2:Do you sing?
Speaker 1:Yes, I sing.
Speaker 2:What did you?
Speaker 1:sing. I sing as the Deer and Look what the Lord has Done the Caucasian song sonny and I sung on the one and three and baby, they was just the red in their face and just the bop and I said, lord, they so pink. But we love they so pink, we love it, we love it.
Speaker 2:I'll say white brothers and sisters, listen, we love all shades of pink, salmon, fuchsia, those are the only Tickle me.
Speaker 1:You can't forget about Blushing Bashful now.
Speaker 2:Come on Blushing. Bashful Two the gray still magnolias, yes.