25. Struggling with belly fat loss? This is your most important starting point.

When I first grappled with weight loss during menopause, I felt like I was battling an invisible enemy—my own mindset.

My journey, riddled with trials and errors, has taught me that the scale is just a reflection of a much larger mental game.

 Now, I'm peeling back the curtain to share with you the profound connection between our thoughts and achieving a healthier body, especially through the transformative period of menopause.

This episode isn't just about shedding pounds; it's an intimate exploration of how to align your mindset with your health goals and why our emotions and actions are pivotal in this quest.

Prepare to be equipped with strategies to navigate menopause with grace and vitality. We'll converse about the art of mindful eating, the significance of a nurturing environment, and the joy found in celebrating the small wins that pave the way to sustainable habits.

It's a candid discussion brimming with insight and tips for turning this natural phase of life into an opportunity for growth and renewal.

Join me for a conversation that promises to empower and guide you in embracing this time as a milestone for personal development and overall well-being.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello, my friends, welcome, welcome, welcome to my channel. Today we will be talking about one very important reason why most of us fail when we start a journey to a healthy lifestyle, when we try to lose belly fat or to lose weight. Most of the time we do all the things and I'm not saying that's the wrong thing to do but we start looking at nutrition how to eat, what to eat and we start thinking about how to move, what kind of exercises that we need. Most of the time, we miss the most important step, which is going to be up here. The way you think. Your mindset is going to be number one In my personal online coaching program.

Speaker 1: 0:51

That's the first thing that we address is going to be your mindset. Why is that? Because our actions depend on how we feel and our thoughts on our emotions, and our emotions are governed by what we think. See, first it starts with what we think. That governs our emotions, and then our emotions drive our actions, and then your actions are what gives you your results. So it's very important that we address the way that we think, right here.

Speaker 1: 1:26

Most diets fail, or most of the time we fail because we start at the action phase. We skip the emotions and we skip our thoughts and we go right here to action. What are we going to eat? How are we going to move? But you're skipping the most important thing that will govern your actions, that will give you the results. This is called auto-suggestion.

Speaker 2: 1:51

Welcome to the Thriving Through Menopause podcast. Dr Inaka Yembe, your host, is dedicated to helping you navigate the transformative journey of menopause and perimenopause, particularly focused on achieving menopausal weight loss and reducing belly fat. As a post, achieving menopausal weight loss and reducing belly fat as a post-menopausal physician herself who has helped thousands of women experiencing the significant life stage, she understands the unique challenges you face. Listen in as we explore a wide range of topics aimed at supporting you in your health and wellness journey. Hopefully, the practical tips and strategies offered potentially help you adopt an empowering approach towards menopausal weight loss and belly fat reduction. And now here's your host, Dr Inaka Yembe.

Speaker 1: 2:37

Auto-suggestion simply means what you're thinking, how you think, is going to determine how you act. So you can use the power of your mindset. In fact, if you address your mindset, it will help you power through the difficulty that you may encounter or the discouragement that you may encounter when you try to lose weight encounter when you try to lose weight. All that happens when we're trying to lose weight or we're trying to lose belly fat is we're trying to change the habits or the bad habits that are ingrained in us, and those habits take years and years and years to form. So, in order to lose the belly fat and to lose the weight, you want to go through a long-term, sustainable habit change. Don't start with what am I going to eat? What am I going to do? What am I going to do All these things without addressing your mindset? I'll tell you a little story about myself.

Speaker 1: 3:39

Back then, in 2005,. That was my heaviest. I had just graduated from medical residency. I was over 300 pounds and I said I have got to get healthy. So I went to a coach and I felt I could just link up with the coach, take me, fix me, do all the things to me that are going to make me lose weight.

Speaker 1: 4:01

I didn't think about what I was thinking. In fact, most of the things that the coach told me to do, I was so resistant. When it came up to things like working out, just jogging for even 15 minutes, I felt I was too heavy to do that. When it came to things like changing even the coffee that I was drinking with so much flavored creamer that had a lot of sugar, and my coach told me try to change that I was so resistant. I was resistant in so many things but I somehow felt just by subscribing or signing up with my coach, he was gonna help me lose weight. Of course that did not work. I went through so many different programs, I signed up for so many things, wasted a lot of money because my mindset never really changed. The way you think is so important. One of the biggest things that we need to do is to number one, have clarity. Clarity, like they say, is the DNA of success. All right, as heavy as I was, I just felt I could just start.

Speaker 1: 5:06

Let me just start, let me just lose some weight. I really didn't have any fixed amount of weight that I wanted to lose. I said, well, maybe I could lose a hundred pounds, 120 pounds, and that was it.

Speaker 1: 5:18

I didn't tell myself exactly how much I need to lose, nor did I tell myself what is my timeline. I didn't know. I wasn't thinking. I just felt let me just go to the gym, let me just get with the coach and all will be well. All will not be well unless you have clarity. Set a goal, make it realistic. That's another reason why we fail. Our goals may be unrealistic.

Speaker 1: 5:44

I felt I was so heavy at the time, being over 300 pounds. Surely I could lose 30 pounds in 30 days, and sometimes I lost 20 pounds in 30 days, but I gained it all back because the things that I did were not sustainable. Another thing that really happened with me and this is the biggest one I was so discouraged. It was easy for me to be discouraged If I'd worked so hard, which could be two, three days. I worked so hard. I stepped on the scale. I didn't see a five or 10 pound weight loss, like I expected. So I sat here and I discouraged myself. It really didn't take anybody from anywhere to come and discourage me. I spent the time discouraging myself. So how do we develop a mindset that would help us in a long-term, sustainable, healthy lifestyle? The very first thing that we want to do and this is what I did is just to visualize your future healthy self. See, what am I going to do if I was healthy. Think about it. If, say, you woke up this morning and you were your ideal weight, your blood pressure was normal, your blood sugar was normal, you looked and you felt exactly how you want to, how would you take care of that body now that it is your perfect self that you want? That is what you want to start doing now.

Speaker 1: 7:17

Visualization is such a powerful tool. In fact, I'm not like most of you. Most people that I coach. They wear an ideal weight when they were younger and as they got older they gained the weight. Those of us in menopause, we gained some weight and some belly fat. So if you wear an ideal weight or normal weight when you were younger, you can use pictures of yourself or you can just sit and visualize. We've got to attach some mental work into our healthy lifestyle change for it to work. So visualizing or thinking about your future healthy self, how you will take care of that future healthy self now, will help you. You wouldn't just take your body that is completely healthy, not move it, not fit it right, and think it would be okay. So you want to visualize that. Visualization is such a powerful tool.

Speaker 1: 8:15

The second one is positive affirmations. Remember, I don't really need anybody to come to me and discourage me. Most of the time it doesn't happen. When we give up on what we are doing to get healthy, when we stop eating the healthy foods, when we stop exercising, it's because we discourage ourselves. We expect for things to happen too quickly. One of the things that would help change that conversation that you're having with yourself is positive affirmations. That's powerful. That's one of the exercises that we do in my online coaching program.

Speaker 1: 8:53

Every morning, everybody has to wake up and spend some time thinking about their goals and telling themselves positive things. Five positive affirmations every single day. I am healthy, I am beautiful, I drink water every day. I love healthy food. Tell yourself five positive things every single morning and that will help you to not discourage yourself. Now, it takes some time. Keep doing it, keep working, but you want to do it every single day. Remember how you develop habits because you were doing the same things over and over and over. Now that you want to change your mindset, you've got to put in the work every single day. Repeat it daily.

Speaker 1: 9:44

Next thing, the power of belief. You want to believe in yourself. See, when I was so resistant with my coaches, I was so stubborn. I felt I couldn't walk up and down any bleachers like one of my coach wanted me to do. I couldn't do any push-ups, I couldn't pick up any weights that was for men. I really couldn't do any sit-ups. I could not do. I just could not, could not, could not. One day he asked me what can you do? You're not even trying. Because I didn't even believe in myself. From the young teenage years up until almost the age of 40s, I had been struggling with my weight and failing.

Speaker 1: 10:28

I got to a point where I didn't even believe in myself, I said oh well, I'm going to try something. Don't do that. You're powerful, you are able and you've got to believe in yourself. You attach some belief into what you're doing, then it's going to help you. If you're struggling with water, wake up every single morning. Tell yourself I will drink my water today. I believe I'm going to be very hydrated today. Every single day, tell yourself exactly the same thing and you will notice pretty soon your thoughts are governing your emotions. Those are driving your actions, and then your body changes based on your actions. But that's going to start with what you're thinking. The very next thing to do is to be mindful. Be very mindful. Be mindful of your body. Be mindful of how you feel, how you eat, what you're eating. Just be mindful.

Speaker 1: 11:28

Most of the time, we don't really need to think so much on the actions that we repeat every single day. Example if I was going to work, I could just leave my house, drive in my vehicle. I could even be talking on the phone in my vehicle without really thinking exactly where I'm going, and I will get to work successfully. Why? Because I've traveled that road so many times. This is the same thing that happens when we're eating. Most of the time we think it's time for me to eat, but while we're eating, we're not really thinking. We're just putting the food in our body, just really putting the food in our body, without thinking. However, if you bring your thoughts here to your food, it would help you. Eat slowly, taste your food, no matter what you're eating, think about it. It would help you. This way, when you get full, your body's signals will tell you to stop eating.

Speaker 1: 12:27

Now if you just eat real fast and not thinking you're just putting the food in here. You can actually put away quite a bit more food than your body needs just because you were not thinking. I want you to be mindful. The next thing that happens, especially for the mental aspect of a healthy lifestyle change, is our environment.

Speaker 2: 12:49

Okay.

Speaker 1: 12:50

All of us have those family members and those friends who just discourage us. Now you again what you're trying to lose weight for. You look just fine, listen, your body, your choice. You do for yourself what you want. You want to really be careful about who you engage in, the knowledge of the fact that you're now going through a healthy lifestyle. So, number one, be very mindful of that. Number two, you want to really surround yourself with people that will help you power through those difficult times. Surround yourself with people that will help you power through those difficult times. Join a group. I have an online, a private Facebook group where all my coaching clients stay. We're talking about the same things Like-minded ladies who want to lose belly fat.

Speaker 1: 13:36

We encourage each other because the going is tough. Sometimes you may be at home or at work and you've got, say, a friend to say, hey, come on, let's go out and eat. You really, really didn't want to go out and eat, but you want to socialize anyway. So here you are, sitting out here with friends and you're thinking, hmm, you know what, I'm just going to have a little bit of something, whatever it is, and you've got that one friend or that one family member who says come on, come on, come on. And next thing, you know, of course you can't fight your cravings. And when it's available, right there, next thing you know you've consumed it and here you are. You want to surround yourself with the people that will help you. The next thing that's really going to help your mindset is really an attitude of celebration. Enjoy the things. In fact, set your goals to be so small that you accomplish them and celebrate your wins. Example if you just don't like drinking water and you notice that, especially like me, I don't like drinking water like drinking water and you notice that, especially like me, I don't like drinking water, but you were able to drink three bottles of water, four bottles of water Come at the end of the day and express that to yourself. Say, wow, I did such a good job today with drinking. Celebrate your small wins. If you want to lose belly fat, lose weight, make that goal small. Tell yourself this week I'm going to lose a pound. You come at the end of the week you lost a pound. Wow, celebrate that. You tell yourself I'm going to eat vegetables with every single meal. Today, I ate vegetables with every single meal. Wow, I'm not used to eating vegetables at all. Today you ate vegetables twice, celebrate every single win. Why is that?

Speaker 1: 15:31

The things that you enjoy, they write a script in your memory and make you want to do it again. That's really how we develop the bad habits. Why? Because we enjoyed them. So you want to enjoy the things that you do along your healthy lifestyle. Because your body comes back. Remember, your emotions are going to drive your actions and your actions are what determine your results. So if you keep enjoying all the things that you are doing, then they write that script and those will also drive your actions and then you get the positive results that you're looking for. The next thing I'm going to tell you about food Now I tell my coaching clients listen, if you've got that one thing that's not healthy, that one thing, and you're thinking about it right now, go ahead and have it, have a little bit of it, mindfully, and then stop at a certain point.

Speaker 1: 16:27

Consistency Consistency takes time. But let me give you an example. Most of you have children, right? Child was four or five years old. Time to go to kindergarten. Child did not like the school. You struggled. You took your child to school the first day. Both of you toughed it out. The child cried, you cried in the vehicle going back home. It was tough. You did the same thing the next day, the same thing the next day, over and over. I haven't seen a mom who says, hey, my child was just struggling too much, so my child is not going to school forever and ever and ever, period. No, I mean, sometimes you may change the school, but you will still take your child to school. You are consistent with a four or a five-year-old and you successfully took them and made them to go through school until they became adults, 18 years old and things like that. Why don't we maintain the same consistency with ourselves when we start a healthy lifestyle change.

Speaker 1: 17:26

we may struggle. Remember everything good is worthwhile. There's a little struggle for the good things, the things that are worthwhile. You're going to struggle to get it. So just remember the journey to a healthy lifestyle is not easy. You're going to struggle a little bit, but I want you to think about discipline. Maintain that same discipline with yourself. Tell yourself every day I'm going to do these things that would help me, and then you're going to notice that I'm consistent. I'm not waiting for motivation.

Speaker 1: 18:01

Motivation doesn't exist all the time and your results, by the way, are going to motivate you more, but if you're waiting for motivation to take you and get you to start on a healthy lifestyle, you may never start. It may come, it may not come. Don't wait for it. And even when you start all the things eating healthy and moving like you should you may not be motivated every day. This is why we should not wait for motivation. Just be disciplined. Tell myself I will do it, regardless of whether or not I want to do it. That's how you're going to stay consistent. The very last thing that I'll tell you is being grateful. Having an attitude of gratitude is so powerful in helping us in everything in life, though really Also in your healthy lifestyle change. If you're trying to lose belly fat and you do one thing successfully, be grateful. Be grateful to God, be grateful to the fact that you can Be grateful to the fact that you did that attitude of gratitude. It's going to make you feel so good, though You're going to notice you have all these positive emotions that are going to help you have those positive actions that would give you the change that you want. Always remember it's going to be your thoughts that drive your emotions. Your emotions will drive your actions, and it is the actions that will give you the results, so don't start with the actions without correcting or addressing your thoughts and your emotions, all right. I'm so, so grateful to all of you, though, who have been supporting me through this journey. This is my lifestyle story. This is my whole life story.

Speaker 1: 19:58

I came from a person who was over 300 pounds. I weighed myself this morning I was 159 pounds. It's taken me 14 years, so all the things that I share with you are the things that I've done, and, really, if you want to be successful again, I say I've been on this journey for 14 years. To be honest with you, when I started off, even though I was a licensed position, I didn't know what I was doing. I spent so much time and so much money wasting my energy, doing the wrong things because I just didn't know. I still learn today, but I know more now. This is why I help you and all my other ladies, so you don't make the same mistakes that I did. Address your mindset. It would help you and all my other ladies so you don't make the same mistakes that I did. Address your mindset, it would help you lose the belly fat.

Speaker 2: 20:49

All right, all right.

Speaker 1: 20:50

Thank you. Thank you and have a fantastic day. Bye.

Speaker 2: 20:58

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Thriving Through Menopause. We hope you found valuable insights and practical advice to support your journey. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast, share it and review. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Remember, menopause doesn't have to be a challenge. It can be an opportunity for growth, renewal and self-care. Connect with us on social media, where we share additional resources, tips and advice to help you along your path. Once again, thanks for listening in and we hope you'll join us again on the next episode of Thriving Through Menopause. Until then,