Heal and Stay Healed with Kelly B Haney
The Heal and Stayed Healed with Kelly B Haney podcast is for anyone who is sick and tired of being sick and tired, particularly those with autoimmune disease or other chronic illness. It's for those who are ready to truly heal, and more importantly, truly STAY healed.
Through my training as a Certified Nutrition Coach, but mostly through insight gained from my personal experience with overcoming severe Ulcerative Colitis, I want to equip you to get better, stay better, and to become healthier than ever.
I've been able to stay completely autoimmune flare-free for well over a decade, and I believe that if I can do it, then you can too! Our bodies want to heal. They know how to heal. We just have to give them the support that they need.
I'm honored to walk alongside you as you take the next step in your own healing journey. Let's heal and stay healed together.
Heal and Stay Healed with Kelly B Haney
Reclaiming the Joy and Wonder of the Season through Simplicity
Get ready for a holiday special that's all about reclaiming the joy and wonder of the season, while kicking stress and excess to the curb. Feeling overwhelmed by your packed calendar and other holiday tasks? We're here to help you say 'no' to the things that don't light up your life, bringing back the true spirit of the season through simplicity. Let's debunk the myth of the perfect holiday, learn how to delegate, prioritize self-care, and shift our focus from the perfect table setting to fostering gratitude and giving back.
As for those festive treats that are as much a part of the holidays as the twinkling lights, I've got you covered. Discover ways to enjoy these little delights while remaining focused on your health. It's a journey of mindful indulgence. And the best part? Making baking a fun, shared activity, creating memories that taste sweeter than any cookie.
Ready to embark on a simplified, more joyful, restful, and restorative holiday season? Take a listen, and let's spread the cheer together!
Website: www.kellybhaney.com
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Welcome to the Heal and Stay Healed podcast, where we talk about healing and, more importantly, staying healed from chronic disease and other ailments and issues. We'll cover all the crazy things about health and life the good, the bad, the ugly and the hilarious. My name is Kelly and I'm a survivor and overcomer of severe autoimmune disease, and I can't wait to share with you what I've learned so that you can heal and stay healed too. Thanks for listening and enjoy the show. Hello there, and thanks for joining me for a special holiday episode of the Heal and Stay Healed with Kelly Bihaney podcast. The theme of today's episode is all about making this holiday season full of the powerfully healing emotions, wonder and joy. I think many would agree that when talking about the wonder and the joy of the season, we feel like those things have been missing, probably for quite a while now. How can we get that back? That's what we'll work on discovering today.
Speaker 1:It's the most wonderful, happiest time of the year, or at least it's supposed to be, but it's no secret that for a lot of people, this is not the happiest time of the year. It's actually the most stressful time of the year For those with active chronic illness or disease. Maybe it's been a hard year for you. Maybe you've been sick a lot and really battling. Maybe you're in the hard early days of your healing journey and you're just tired. Maybe you've lost a loved one this year or went through a relationship ending, a job loss or some other big challenge. Those are all perfectly valid reasons for finding it hard to be super cheerful this season. But something that I've been thinking about a lot over the past several years of my healing journey is that for many of us, the reasons why our holidays may be hard are actually self-inflicted. We actually do it to ourselves, and likely without even noticing, and that's because our modern day culture has created a bit of a monster out of the whole holiday season. Excess is the word that comes to mind to describe this time of year, with more stuff to buy for more people, more obligations to fit into our already pretty full December schedules, more chores we have to do, more money we have to spend and more and more non-stop Over the top holiday feasts and festivities that we have to eat and drink our way through. And as a result of all of this, the holidays have become less merry and bright and more stressful, chaotic and exhausting. And this all leaves us fumbling our way into the new year feeling tired, depleted, broke, bloated and generally unwell. Why else would that whole New Year, new you thing be so popular every single January?
Speaker 1:I believe we can do better. We can bring back those warm, fuzzy holiday feelings and experiences that are so good for our hearts and our health, and we can do this by being a little more mindful this year and by being a little more simple in the way that we approach and experience the holidays. Something I focused on throughout my healing journey is bringing more simplicity to every facet of my life, as living a simplified life is one of my core beliefs on how to heal and stay healed, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually as well. To me, simplicity is defined by reducing the amount of unnecessary stuff we own or have to manage, but, just as importantly, by reducing the amount of unnecessary and excessive commitments on the calendar and by finding peace and contentment in a lifestyle that looks pretty counter-cultural in many ways because of its lack of excess and its lack of extra complications, and I've been so pleased to find that it's even possible to simplify something that has gone off the rails as much as the holiday season has, and we can simplify without sacrificing. In fact, by simplifying we create more space for getting what we really want out of this season the fun times with family and friends, making good memories, feeling rested and at peace and once again finding the wonder and the joy in it all, which happen to all be things that support us in our healing and staying healed. Once we strip away all of the stress-provoking excess, the wonder and the joy and even the magic of the season really is still there. So today we are going to call out the normalized excess that leads to the chaos, that leads to the stress, and we'll discuss some alternative, simplified approaches and mindsets. Then we'll talk about the holiday treat barrage of the season All of those cookies, cakes, gingerbread pies and other sweets and I'll share my tips and tricks for managing them, especially for those of us who are well into our healing journey and who want to stay on track. I believe in treating yourself but not beating yourself, so stay tuned for that. It is very possible to find yourself sailing into the new year exhausted, energized, peaceful and feeling good inside and out. So, with that goal in mind, let's begin by talking about three joy suckers of this time of year and for each joy sucker, how choosing simplicity can help bring back the wonder and the joy to this season of hope.
Speaker 1:Joy Sucker Number One we Overbook Ourselves. There are a million holiday-related events work parties, friends and family parties, neighborhood events, your kids' school events, et cetera on top of all the other regular life events and responsibilities that don't go away just because it's the month of December. It can all be just too much. And that's coming from an extrovert, I'm sure. All of the events and parties quickly become completely overwhelming for our introverted friends especially. A lot of these events and celebrations are fun and life-giving, for sure, and they add to the specialness of the season, but when we say yes to too many of them, the invitations can start to feel more like obligations and the fun and the joy is sucked right out of them and are replaced by added stress, which can become burnout.
Speaker 1:A simpler approach is to simply pick and choose. What are the events that bring the most joy and life to you and your family? These are the ones to say yes to. And what are the events that suck your energy, require you to spend too much or create more stress than they would relieve? These are the ones to consider saying no to this year. When you simplify your December schedule, that leaves room for actual rest and reflection and time for truly soaking in the season. It also leaves room for more quiet, cozy nights at home, with the family curled up together with a hot tea and blanket, while watching a classic holiday movie, reading a good Christmas-themed book or doing a relaxing festive craft together Sounds pretty nice, right? These are the nights that can provide that rest and restoration that our bodies and hearts need an extra dose of this month, and they set us up for making some great memories too. Joy Sucker.
Speaker 1:Number two All the stuff we drown in, all the commercialism and all of the unnecessary and often unwanted stuff that comes in because of it, and living in the excess of physical stuff. This time of year more than any other can leave us feeling anxious and kind of disgusted with the whole thing, and it certainly can take away the wonder and the joy of the season, not to mention it can leave us in serious debt. Feeling like you have to buy gifts for everyone, especially those who you don't really want to buy something for but feel obligated to, or those who you feel like you have to get something expensive for is a lot of pressure and can add up to be a lot of money that you might not have. So if you're trying to keep up with the Joneses by buying expensive things, just remember the Joneses are probably broke, not to mention the stuff that comes to you and your family and into your home via others, giving you things that you might not really need or possibly not even want.
Speaker 1:A simplified approach to avoiding the stuff explosion and financial peril is to talk to family and friends about putting the gift giving in check. That can look like agreeing to gift experiences instead of physical stuff. This avoids the clutter and gives an opportunity to create a lasting memory through the experience. Or adults can agree not to trade gifts with each other at all but still give gifts to the kids by the way, experience gifts are especially great for kids. Or it's okay to not give stuff or ask for stuff. If nobody really wants or needs anything, it's okay to just not do it and instead focus on being together and making new memories that will last a lot longer and be far more meaningful. Whoever you do get gifts for, can you make it special, either by getting them something you know will truly bring them joy or will be of great use to them. And if we find ourselves frantically searching a store for something we can grab that's good enough just to check a person off of our list, then maybe we should stop and check our self instead and take time to really think it through, so that our gift giving is not in vain and comes from the heart, not from a place of obligation, and remember homemade, consumable gifts that are thoughtful and useful, such as stovetop potpourri or handmade soap, or maybe some delicious Christmas pears or citrus. Those gifts can all be really well received and appreciated and they don't add to the clutter influx.
Speaker 1:Joy Sucker. Number three unrealistic expectations. I really think this is the biggest holiday joy sucker of them all, and I think it's fair to say that moms are the ones affected by the unrealistic expectations of the holidays the most. Tv, magazines and social media have all set an unattainable standard of what the perfect holiday requires Stunning and abundant decorations inside and outside of the home, instagram worthy tree and family photo shoots, holiday cards going out to everyone, new Christmas jammies for all, following each and every tradition every year, even the ones that became more trouble than they're worth years ago, because everyone is counting on you, and then there's having to come up with new scenarios in which to place that freaking elf on the shelf every night. This is all a lot, and let's face it, even in these modern times, mom is still likely to be the one doing most of the shopping, wrapping, cooking, cleaning, coordinating everyone else's schedules, etc. Etc. All season long. And for the single moms out there, you are the true superheroes and you are somehow doing it all. You're amazing.
Speaker 1:But, to take a more simplified approach, it's just like when we discussed stepping back and analyzing all the event and party invitations and determining which ones to say no to. In this case, that would look like stepping back and analyzing all of the other things you feel like you have to do this season, because in reality, you don't have to do it all. Maybe this is the year to move on from some traditions that take a lot of time and energy but are actually no longer serving you or your family. This will create space for new traditions to form organically, and maybe this year you can opt out of volunteering for the school bake sale or skip sending out holiday cards, or not feel the need to spend days decorating or feel compelled to clerk griswalled up your house in an effort to prove that you have the merriest house on the block. Maybe we can just, overall, tone things down a bit this year and to further prevent the burnout, how about considering what responsibilities can be delegated out to the rest of the family or friends?
Speaker 1:And what if, this year, you give yourself the gift of staying off of social media and just soak it all in in real life, in real time, especially for those who have little ones in the home. As the mom of a now 15 year old, it really does go by so fast, and Christmases in those early years are extra magical. So why not set unrealistic expectations aside and just be there in the moment? And for those who had a really hard year physically, mentally and or emotionally it's really okay to forego expectations altogether and to just simply rest Instead of forcing yourself to go out and do all the things. Maybe this year it would be better to spend that time in meditation or prayer, journaling, doing some yoga or doing other things that bring you life, whether they are holiday related or not, or just do nothing at all.
Speaker 1:If you neglect yourself and ignore the fact that you aren't feeling good going into the holiday season and then you throw yourself fully into it anyway, it's likely that you'll come out feeling even worse. Perhaps all you need is a little Charlie Brown tree and a whole lot of downtime. Give yourself permission to focus on your own healing as much as you need to for this year. A quick side note for those who are in this place right now I'm a big fan of visualization and I believe in it very much, so I recommend spending a little time visualizing yourself a year from now, being healthy, strong, peaceful and ready for the joy and the wonder of the season when it arrives this time next year.
Speaker 1:And for those of us who are doing well ourselves, but who have someone in our lives who is struggling either from illness or from something else, there are many simple and kind ways to show up for them. This season, when we shed the burden of feeling the need to spend all of our time and energy keeping up with unrealistic expectations, we create the space to do things like be there for our friends and loved ones who really need us. Maybe stop by a struggling friend's home for a visit, bringing over a warm meal or doing a load of laundry for them something simple that lets them know you care, ask them what they really need, and maybe that's as simple as a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. And if you know people who don't have family to spend the holiday with, maybe consider inviting them over and welcoming them as part of your family for a night. This could really mean the world to someone who is struggling this season.
Speaker 1:Another great way to fight off the unrealistic expectations and to keep things simplified is to put a lot of the focus on giving back. It's a great time of year to focus on giving back, yet incredibly, giving back at the holidays has come to feel a bit commercialized, just like everything else, from the bell ringing Santas staring you down for pocket change outside of every grocery store to the toy drives at the office. That can become more of a competition for who donates the most. If participating in these things feels right and meaningful to you, then by all means do it, but if they don't, then spend some time considering what or who are the causes, charitable organizations or individuals doing good work out there that you really believe in and truly want to support with your time and or money. It's so great to make giving back a family event too, maybe by gathering your family together and taking a few bags of groceries over to the local food pantry. Or there are many organizations that help support low income families that allow you to anonymously adopt a family for the holidays. This gives you the opportunity to provide them with much needed gifts like winter coats or new shoes or other gifts that bring joy and that they wouldn't otherwise receive. And wow, what a great thing to do together as a family. Of course, legitimate organizations that you believe in can put your monetary donations to good use as well.
Speaker 1:When we give to others, it's a great reminder to step back and take a moment to be thankful for all that we have. Thanksgiving isn't the only holiday reserved for gratitude, and gratitude happens to be another one of those things that I believe is essential for true healing. So how about we focus more on all of the good and simple things and less on the joy-sucking over commitments, stuff and on the unrealistic expectations? The bottom line is, the more we decide to resist the joy-suckers of the season by shunning the busyness, chaos and the excess, the more we can create a holiday that is calm, restorative and meaningful for ourselves and for our families. Let's stop the madness, let's simplify and let's shift our focus to reclaiming the joy and the wonder of it all. Whether you are religious or not, the Christmas story is a great example for all of us of beautiful simplicity A tiny baby born in a manger on a calm winter's night. It really doesn't get more simple than that.
Speaker 1:Now let's shift gears and talk about how to navigate the holiday barrage of sweet treats that seem to lie in wait around every corner this time of year, even while on a healing journey. I definitely believe there can be room for occasionally enjoying life's edible delights and comforts, like a perfect cookie that brings back memories of Christmas past, or a steaming mug of hot chocolate that warms you from the inside out. And that's because there are little things we can do to make sure that, as I like to say, we treat ourselves but we don't beat ourselves. But a quick note for those with chronic illness if you are currently battling an active disease, then I believe it's really important to keep fighting it through the most health-promoting diet possible, even throughout the holidays. This may not be the year for indulging in any treats, but if you are far enough along in your healing journey where you are not battling active illness or disease, then I encourage you to mindfully enjoy some treats this season if you want to, and in doing so, here are six of my tips and tricks for enjoying some delectable holiday treats while staying firm on your path of healing and staying healed.
Speaker 1:Our first tip is use organic ingredients. It's getting easier and easier to find organic ingredients, and this includes, in the baking department, organic sugar, flowers, eggs, spices, etc. By using organic ingredients, the treats will be just as good, if not more delicious, and you won't be giving yourself a dose of disease-causing and disease-supporting chemicals and preservatives when indulging. Also, natural food coloring can be found in many stores or online and is often organic, and it works just as well as damaging artificial food colorings and dyes. Yes, buying organic costs a bit more money, but if you are able to do it, I believe making this investment in your health and the health of your family is really important for now and in the future.
Speaker 1:The second tip is reduce the sugar in recipes. Even when treating ourselves, it's important not to lose sight of the fact that sugar feeds disease, but the good news is it's safe to say that most recipes call for way more sugar than is necessary. This is particularly true if you've already been eating in a health-promoting way for quite a while and your palate has adjusted to desire less sweetness. So when baking, I generally use somewhere from half, maybe up to two-thirds of the sugar called for in a recipe, and everything always still tastes plenty sweet. It's worth noting again that refined sugar is one of the things that feeds disease, so when we are treating ourselves, let's not use more of it than we need to.
Speaker 1:On to tip three Don't ignore food allergies or sensitivities. Just because we decide to treat ourselves does not mean we should intentionally cause harm to ourselves. We are fortunate to be living in a time when we can easily replace ingredients that we know our bodies don't react well to. So, for example, if you know you're a sensitive to wheat, you can use high quality gluten-free flour. Or if you're a sensitive to eggs, use a flax egg instead. A flax egg is one tablespoon ground flax seed mixed with three tablespoons water. Stir and let it sit for a few minutes and it becomes an egg replacement for baking. Even old family cookie recipes can easily be converted to fulfill whatever food requirements you have, without sacrificing the taste.
Speaker 1:Tip number four Eat extra veggies. It's very important that we don't decrease our intake of the nutritious stuff in order to make room for an extra treat. If you're going to eat the treat, then eat an extra helping or two of veggies first. This will give your body a boost of support as it metabolizes the sugar. And since even reasonable amount of sweets have a way of messing with the gut, the extra fiber in the extra veggies will help to make sure things move along as they should. Tip five Get rid of the leftovers.
Speaker 1:A day or two of treats can quickly become a week or two of treats if we leave them lying around to stare at us every time we walk into the kitchen or open the fridge. As with all food, that is not health promoting. If it isn't in the house, it can't really tempt us. And tip number six Don't overdo it. This might go without saying, but we all need this reminder sometimes, especially at the holidays. If we indulge too much, a treat can quickly go from a moment of enjoying one of life's little delights to feeling like total crap. Sugar is one of the most addictive substances on the planet, so if we let our guard down for too long, it will be much harder to go back to making it an occasional thing, even when we are otherwise motivated. If you do over-indulge, pay attention to how your body feels post-sugar high. You probably won't be feeling great. Then, instead of beating yourself up, simply let that crappy feeling motivate you to return to life-giving, health-supportive foods that will make you feel wonderful.
Speaker 1:Now, before we wrap up for the holidays, here's a final bonus tip for managing holiday treats that brings us back to our simplicity theme as well. The bonus tip is make it less about the treats and more about making memories. I'm so grateful to have been able to figure out how to still make the recipes for my late grandmother's snickerdoodle cookies and my late great aunt's buckeye balls. These were the two Christmas time treats that were always my favorite as a child. I'm thrilled to have figured out a way to make them with organic ingredients, less sugar and with replacing any of the ingredients that myself or others in the family are sensitive to, and they still taste wonderful. But in making it more about the treats and more about the memories, in recent years, my daughter and I have made these together, and it gives me the opportunity to tell her about these two women that she never got to know and what they meant to me and our family. While baking, we've lit up the tree, turned on vintage Christmas playlists and talked and laughed together. I know that I will carry these baking memories with me forever, and I hope that my daughter will too.
Speaker 1:These special times spent baking in the kitchen together at Christmas most certainly brings us life, and they are definitely more about the activity than the cookies. Summing it up, when healthy eating is an ingrained part of our lifestyle, these moments of indulgence are so much more satisfying and they feel like what they are actually supposed to be a real treat. I'm convinced that treats taste extra delicious when you know that you have been and will continue to support your body with life-giving, nourishing foods that will help keep you here and healthy for many holidays to come. That's a wrap on 2023. Time to go enjoy the holidays. I wish you happy, simplified and healthy holidays, friends. May it all be filled with wonder and joy, and may you be filled with hope for continued healing in the new year. If you've received value from this podcast, I'd be so grateful if you would take a moment to download, subscribe rate review and share it with others who may benefit from it too. I am very much looking forward to spending 2024 with you as we heal and stay healed together.