Heal and Stay Healed with Kelly B Haney

"Be the Possible": Triathlete Maria Phelps' Unyielding Battles Against Bulimia, Misdiagnosis, and Sjogren's Syndrome

• Kelly B Haney • Season 1 • Episode 11

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In this inspiring “Healing Hero” episode, triathlete Maria Phelps shares her remarkable story of resilience. From her battles with bulimia that began due to a coach's misguided comments, to her mysterious symptoms, to her harrowing experience with misdiagnosis, and then to her triumphant recovery from the debilitating autoimmune disease, Sjogren's Syndrome, Maria's story is a testament to the unbreakable human spirit.

Through her powerful personal mantra, "Be the Possible," Maria exemplifies the incredible heights that can be reached with unwavering determination and the willingness to heal. She candidly discusses her challenges, from the darkest depths of her eating disorder to the frustration of doctors dismissing her symptoms, and the miracles, large and small, that led to her healing, along with a combination of medication, dietary changes, spiritual connection, and a strong support system.

Now, as a beacon of hope and inspiration, Maria is passionate about using her experiences to help others who are struggling with eating disorders, autoimmune diseases, or any seemingly insurmountable challenge. Join us for this uplifting and empowering episode that will inspire you to face your own challenges with renewed courage and strength.
Follow Maria on Instagram: @fitmortgagecoach

Website: www.kellybhaney.com
Email: info@kellybhaney.com
Instagram: @kellybhaney
Facebook: Kelly B Haney Wellness

Kelly B Haney:

Welcome to the Heal and Stay Healed podcast, where we talk about healing and, more importantly, staying healed from chronic disease and other ailments and issues. We'll cover all the crazy things about health and life the good, the bad, the ugly and the hilarious. My name is Kelly and I'm a survivor and overcomer of severe autoimmune disease, and I can't wait to share with you what I've learned so that you can heal and stay healed too. Thanks for listening and enjoy the show. Welcome back and thank you so much for joining me today.

Kelly B Haney:

In this episode, we are graced by the presence of special guest and healing hero, maria Phelps. Maria is a mom, mortgage broker, competitive runner, triathlete and track coach who is here to openly and vulnerably share her powerful personal story. Maria has been through it, to put it lightly, and today she tells the tale of her tumultuous battle with the autoimmune disease Sjogren's syndrome, where one of the hardest parts of the battle was getting a diagnosis. But as if that wasn't enough, before her autoimmune challenges began, maria experienced a relentless struggle with bulimia. She shares with us the ups and downs of her journey, how a mindset of steadfast perseverance brought her through the worst of times and how she has regained her quality of life, learned from her greatest challenges and found new purpose. Maria has quite a story to share and she tells it today in order to help others who struggle with similar things to what she has faced, by giving them hope and letting them know that they are not alone.

Kelly B Haney:

A quick content warning for this episode we do discuss eating disorders in detail, as well as touch on self-harm and suicidal ideation. Now let's get started with Maria Phelps. Hi Maria, welcome to the show.

Maria Phelps:

Hi, thank you for having me. It's a pleasure.

Kelly B Haney:

Thanks so much for being here, really excited for this conversation today. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself, just to get started? Where?

Maria Phelps:

in the world are you and what do you do in your day-to-day life? Yeah, so gosh, it's kind of funny. What sums me up is actually my Instagram handle. So I'm the Fit mortgage coach. So I I'm a mortgage broker, so I am half owner to a mortgage broker shop in Whitefish, montana. It's called Black Diamond Mortgage, and I've been a part of that company since 2015 and then became half owner in 2022. So that portion is fairly new.

Maria Phelps:

But I'm also very active and I'm a triathlon coach and a running coach and I now have the pleasure of coaching high school track this year and I'm pretty excited about that. I did junior high track last year and was able to jump up to high school track this year. So I really I like being active and fit and it's just it was kind of a fun play on words so I'm a fit mortgage coach. So that kind of sums it up. And then I have I have two kids that keep me super busy. My son just turned 18 and my daughter's 14. My son is active in sports and my daughter does horse jumping, so I feel like we're always doing something.

Kelly B Haney:

Yeah, it sounds like a busy life. Yeah, and I I had the opportunity last summer to get out your way. I have a good friend who lives out in Western Montana and that was my first experience in that part of the country at all and I just have to say how lucky you are that it is otherworldly in terms of just how beautiful it is out there and you get to experience that every day.

Maria Phelps:

Yeah, I mean I grew up here. I was born and raised in the Whitefish area. I now live in Columbia Falls. Born and raised in the Whitefish area, I now live in Columbia Falls, which is just down the road, and I love it. It's funny, though, like growing up we lived so far out of town that I actually I kind of hated it for a while. So you know, there was definitely a period of time where living way out of town is really hard, but just as a young kid and I didn't really respect that until I got older and and now I like it but. But we don't live way out of town anymore, but but I love it now.

Kelly B Haney:

Okay, Well, one of my favorite questions to ask people is do you have a favorite quote, short poem or music lyric that has positively influenced you or impacted you that you'd be willing to share with us?

Maria Phelps:

Yeah, so it kind of had been brewing for a couple years. But the phrase that I have is it's actually based on scripture and there's a lot of scriptures in the Bible that talk about, you know, through God, all things are possible. And I just I think it was like last fall, so maybe like six months ago this phrase came to be and I was like, wow, I really liked that and it just stuck with me and it's basically be the possible. And I just, like you know, through my journey and some of the things I've been able to accomplish, it just really sticks out at me because I know that through God, all things are possible. But I want to be the possible. So I actually have it. I, just for my birthday, I got it tattooed on my arm. Nice, yeah, it's just my constant reminder to that I can. I can absolutely be the possible that is talked about in the Bible so many times.

Kelly B Haney:

That's really beautiful, be the possible. I have several inspirational tattoos myself. There's no better way to remind you yourself of something other than to literally tattoo it on your body. So, yeah, that's really nice. Thank you for sharing. Well, today you are here, you tell us your story and I just, first of all, I just want to thank you upfront for being here and for your willingness to share what I know firsthand are things that aren't always easy to revisit or to talk about or to be open about. So, on behalf of myself, on behalf of everyone who is going to hear this and receive something good from it, I just want to thank you upfront, first and foremost.

Maria Phelps:

You're welcome. Yeah, I'm excited to share. I am definitely willing to share with anyone who's willing to listen, If it helps just one person. You know that's what it means.

Kelly B Haney:

So 100%, yes. Well, let's just have you share, let's take it from the top and have you talk about your whole journey, and I know we really we have to go back to high school to get started, is that right?

Maria Phelps:

Yeah, kind of it. It definitely high school is probably the starting point. The one thing that I think anyone with an autoimmune disease has to remember is at least in my experience and several other people that I know is that autoimmune is definitely not linear. It doesn't just happen from one instance, and so when I look back at what was going on in high school and then college, like it's all connected, it just took me a really long time to realize it.

Maria Phelps:

So, yeah, yeah, I was an athlete in high school. I loved it. I was always a hard worker. I was the type that would always win the sprints. We would be running sideline to sideline and I just I always worked hard. I had a really hard work ethic. I was not as good in school.

Maria Phelps:

Like what really got me through school was actually being in sports. And then, when track came along, track is so individual that I was literally able to do all the things I wanted to do and no one could stop me. And so what was really cool? My freshman year, I actually got close to breaking the high school school record in the my first meet as a freshman in track. So so I was known for being able to jump, and so I did end up breaking the school record, which was really cool, and then I broke my own record a couple of times, and so I just I love track. And what was really difficult with track is that, now that I know what I know, I was not running properly by the time my sophomore year, the end of my sophomore year, I really had a lot of foot problems, and so what was happening is I was ending up like running funky and so I ended up getting stress fractures my junior year. And so I just remember, gosh, after every track meet I would be icing, and during the track meet I was just downing so many ibuprofen just to try to get through the track meet. And I look back and I'm like, wow, why did the coaches let me do that? But I realized that it was really easy for me to hide how much pain I was in, and so then my wrist was bothering me from when I actually was tumbling my freshman year. And so I remember going to the doctor. So this would have been spring of my junior year of high school and I was kind of just talking to the doctor about my wrist and Then I said yeah, and my feet hurt a little bit. Well, they ended up doing x-rays on both. But then the x-rays and the MRIs on my feet was really bad. Basically one of my bones was almost dead. When you look at an MRI your bones look really nice. That particular, without that particular bone is black. And the doctor was like, literally, if you keep running, you're going to crush your foot and you're not going to be able to run again. So I had to have surgery and I had surgery literally right before divisionals and stayed track.

Maria Phelps:

My junior year and I just remember sitting on the sidelines like this is terrible, I'm watching the races that I should have been winning I went ahead and signed like a letter of intent to compete at MSU. So they still wanted me to run, even though they knew my foot problems. And so my senior year I had a successful year. I placed at state and, I think, four events. So I did really well. But I hurt, I was in a lot of pain, and so I get to Montana State, but at the time I don't think I was emotionally ready to be in in college actually. But then, you know, we started training and so I was doing school and I was training, but then I was also trying to make friends, and college is really hard when you're not super outgoing, like just like being in that environment was really hard. And then you know the coach. One of the things that he told me is he's.

Maria Phelps:

It was right before Thanksgiving, my freshman year, and he said you know, you look strong and your form is doing well, but you know, if you can lose a couple pounds, we can probably get your feet to not hurt so much. So of course I wanted to not hurt and and he also said, you know, it'll help you go faster. So I figured out through that Thanksgiving break that I could I had a sweet tooth and I said I said to him you know, maybe there's a way I can like stop having you know sweets. Well, I figured out that I could eat sweets but then throw it up, just fine. And then so that I went to Thanksgiving break. It was about a week long break and I came back and I don't think I actually really lost any weight. But I think to him, like, maybe I looked like my, maybe my face looked a little thinner or something I don't know Like, but in that week he gave me positive affirmations and he's like you're looking great, like, keep doing it. And so that literally just created a cycle.

Maria Phelps:

And because I had my own dorm space, I was able to I mean it was, it was terrible I would, I would binge, and then I would go back to my room and I would just have trash bags and I would literally throw up in my trash can and then just take it outside, like I was literally able to hide my bulimia really easily. So that was my freshman year and then we started into the indoor season. So when you're, when you're training for that many events, you you're doing probably five hours of work every day. And so college was really hard for me because by the time we got to where we were competing, I had lost some weight. I, I was jumping better, but I had lost weight. And so, um, there there's a, there's a period of time when you're a runner that losing weight can help you, but then it ends up going in the wrong direction. And so I was right. And muscle too, right, right.

Kelly B Haney:

Exactly.

Maria Phelps:

Yeah, so when the indoor and outdoor season was happening, the only thing that I was really doing well was the 800, which I think, just because I had I had some endurance and I had stamina, but I was just I would take laxatives. You know like you're supposed to take like two laxatives, I would take 20, literally like almost a full box of laxatives. Cause we would go before these track meets, we would go to these buffets and you know like making sure all the athletes are fed and I would eat a ton and I would puke up as much as I could and then anything that did make it in my system I would try to get rid of it the other way. Um, can I interject and just ask you some?

Kelly B Haney:

questions. Yeah, so you never had an issue with bulimia until your coach made this correct what he probably thought was just a general comment. Correct literally that.

Maria Phelps:

I was. Yeah, I literally was very confident in high school. I had no problems with food. I would. I was strong, like I. I went, I was in the weight room, I was eating fine, I I mean, I had a very good relationship with food and I never it was never a thought of mine that I would have an eating disorder at all.

Maria Phelps:

And and it was literally his comments and then his affirmations of like, oh, you're looking great. And then, um, so yeah, it it sucks. Like his, his comments and his, his thoughts of what I needed to be successful were just super skewed and it's like. It's like how can someone think that they know what is good for you, when it's like I know my body, I know what I feel good? And when you look at any runner, like you do, you see runners that are small. But then you see runners like I have literally competed against women at the world championships for the half Ironman and they are bigger than me and that's okay, and they kick my ass. Yeah, like, it has nothing to do with size, like, but it just it makes me so angry that I'm like wow, like I have personally seen women who are 20 pounds heavier than me kick my ass. They're amazing and, and I've seen them 20 pounds lighter and they still kick my ass Like it's. There's no like one way. And so yeah it, it destroyed me.

Maria Phelps:

And so I competed my my freshman year for indoor outdoor season. I get to summer season, or just the summer, the off season, and I started riding a bike a lot and I ended up losing a lot of weight. I ended up becoming a little more anorexic than I was and then I ended up almost dropping out of school before school started, because now everybody on the team knew what I was going through. I ended up leaving the school for about a month, going down to Wyoming and living with a boyfriend at the time and just to kind of get my head in the right place. But it wasn't the right place.

Maria Phelps:

I ended up leaving there, breaking up with him, going back to school, trying to do track again, and then by the time winter came, so it was right before finals in December of that year I went to the coach and I said you know if I, if I could just do the 800, maybe the long jump, javelin like I don't think I can train for the heptathlon anymore. And and at the time I was actually running faster than his 800 runners. So I was like, if I can just focus on a couple things like that would be great. But he said no. And then I called my mom up and I said mom, I want to come home. And she said Can you please finish finals? And so I did. I finished finals, but yeah it, my.

Maria Phelps:

My college experience was pretty crappy, and then I ended up just dropping out after three semesters and coming home. What was tricky, though, when I came home, is that when I left high school, I didn't have the best experience or best relationship with my mom, and so coming home to my mom was a little tough, and we have a great relationship now, but we just didn't have the greatest relationship in high school, and so, when I came back home, my goal was to not live there for very long, and so I ended up was able to get an apartment and get a job and kind of get into normal life, I guess, but I was still very much bulimic and anorexic.

Kelly B Haney:

So that didn't change when track went away.

Maria Phelps:

Yeah, it didn't. And then I did find a really good group of friends. I met, actually, my now husband through through this process, and so this was 2003. And I ended up becoming becoming a Christian. I gave my life to Jesus and that was really cool because I it was something, that it was a piece of me that was kind of missing. It was like when I was in college I was praying and I was trying to figure out like I was praying to somebody like I mean, I grew up kind of Catholic, but I didn't. I didn't know anything about God. And then, but I met this really cool group of people that introduced me to a church that really just taught me, like, who God was.

Maria Phelps:

But I was still very bulimic and it was like God did not take it away and so I had to go through a lot.

Maria Phelps:

Well, actually, in that I went through a lot of healing just through, kind of like digging up some old memories and just trying to heal through some pain.

Maria Phelps:

So I went through a couple of years, so that was 2003.

Maria Phelps:

I went through a couple years of still being super bulimic, hiding a lot of stuff, thinking that God was going to change things. I mean, there was times when I would binge 10 to 15 times in a day, like all my money was going to food and just trying to just I don't, I don't even know Like it's so, like what, some of the stuff I did I still to this day I'm just like, why, like? But I have journals saved and I I sometimes will like go look through them and I was like, wow, I was not in a good place, like mentally, just um, there was a time too when I was taking uh, I was taking like antidepressants and then I wasn't sleeping well and I remember calling my boyfriend who is now my husband, calling him and just saying I just took 10 of these pills, and so then we had to call the doctor and and they're like, luckily I took the right 10 pills and it was something that I could handle, but it was like stupid stuff, like that.

Kelly B Haney:

You were trying to harm yourself at that point.

Maria Phelps:

I was. Yeah, I was like I'm just because they were sleeping they were basically sleeping pills, a form of pills, and I'm just like I just want to fall asleep and not ever wake up.

Kelly B Haney:

I mean to live that long with it, to be that consuming. You said 10 to 15 times a day. I mean it's really hard to imagine how you must have felt after dealing with this for so long. So significantly, I'm guessing you felt trapped and understandably, yeah pretty hopeless in that place.

Maria Phelps:

It is hard. It's like it's hard to fathom, like like, literally, you're sitting over the toilet 15 times and you're just like it cause. What happens when you, when you binge and purge you, you it's like a dopamine rush, like you literally get it's. It's an addiction and like, as soon as you throw up, it's like a high and then you want it again and it's, it's so addicting and it's just. It's really hard to explain and it's really. I mean, I have scars on my hands from just shoving my hands down my throat. Like that's what makes this such a terrible disease, because people don't understand it. They don't. They're like well, why would you do that Like, why would you keep doing that?

Kelly B Haney:

When you said it took your money but it also took so much of your time, of your focus, of your attention. I mean, did you feel just completely out of control and that you got to a point where you thought I just want this to end. I just want to end it?

Maria Phelps:

Yeah, and there was like I've had, I've I've had razors to my wrist sitting in the bathroom, just like I'm I'm done, like I can't, I can't do this anymore and um, it's very, it's so trapping, like you can't. And again, like people don't understand, like my parents didn't understand, my boyfriend didn't understand, like they were with me even even again, my husband now he's like I'll hold your hair back, like I'm here to help you, like I just don't. He didn't know how to help me. And yeah, I just I wanted to run away and then it, but like, in that moment you're like you're hiding food, you're sneaking it, you're sticking it in your pockets, like just stuffing as much as you can, and then just so you can go to the bathroom and get it all out again.

Maria Phelps:

But there was a few, there was a few things that happened during that period of time. I kind of talked about my kind of digging up a few things in my past and healing some of the hurts that I had. But the other thing that happened is I was working as a CNA, so I was working in the hospital and I was actually I don't know why, but even I think it was God at that moment had allowed me to share my story, even though I was still very actively bulimic. So someone who I was talking to, we were just like helping a patient and they're like, oh, you need to talk to this gal, patty, she has an eating disorder too and she's had it for a long time or whatever. So I actually I went and I met with Patty and I meet this gal. She's very skinny, like you see, you can tell, her frame is really skinny and just she's in these scrubs and just the scrubs are kind of hanging off of her and her face is really thin and I mean she, she just she looks really sick and I. So I just started talking with her and we met a couple times.

Maria Phelps:

Well, she said something to me that literally just changed my life. Actually, she said I have decided I'm okay with dying young. I was like I was taken aback. I was like I I realized in that moment that I was not ready for that and so that was probably I don't know probably about six months before I ended up finding out I was pregnant with my son. But that was life changing for me, because I was like okay, I have to figure this out Because I do not want to be her, I don't want to be dealing with this for 20 years and I don't want to accept the fact that I'm going to die young. But she did. She accepted the fact that she's going to die young and that was not going to be me, that was not going to be my story.

Maria Phelps:

So then, you know, more healing happened, but then it kind of the the huge pivotal moment for me and the last time I actually was actively bulimic was, um, about six weeks after I found out I was pregnant with my son. Six weeks after I found out I was pregnant with my son, I just remember I was not feeling well and I go to the doctor and they're like you're pregnant, and I, of course, freaked out and I binged and purged. And then I went and told my boyfriend at the time, like I'm pregnant, what are you going to do? And he's like, well, I guess we'll get married and all this stuff and um, but then, about six weeks after, I was at at work and I literally I was binging and I go into the bathroom and I try to throw up and I physically could not. It was like God was just, like his hands were wrapped around me and he's like you are done with this. And um, I was, I was crying, I was, I was trying, I mean, I had made myself throw up 10,000 times and I just I could not that day. And um, that was, that was the turning point for me.

Maria Phelps:

And so, from that moment on, I mean, my son just turned 18. I, he, I call him my savior baby. He like just, it was the moment when I realized, like it's not just me anymore, it was, I was trying, I had this life inside me and it was a really hard pregnancy. My teeth fell out, like I had. I had to get some root canals done. Um, I mean, my nutrition wise, I was just like that pregnancy was hard on me, but now he's 18.

Kelly B Haney:

I have so many follow up questions. Yeah, I mean it sounds like, well, you got a miracle, you had a miracle happen. Was it literally like that was the last time? Was it not even a struggle after that point?

Maria Phelps:

Yeah, it literally was um, I couldn't make myself throw up anymore and there was definitely moments where, um, I had I still had issues with food, but it wasn't it wasn't me trying to make myself throw up anymore, it was more of like, um, I still had an eating disorder. I just wasn't actively throwing up anymore Because it took. It took a long time for me to understand the food relationship was still issue. Yeah, but yeah, and actually, what has happened? It doesn't happen as much anymore, but sometimes I have dreams and it doesn't happen as much anymore. But sometimes I have dreams and I have visions that I have thrown up in other instances, where it's almost like the that I was taking a ton of pain pills and I ended up throwing up in the shower and I was just like I was screaming at my husband. I was like I'm bulimic again. He's like no, you're not, you're sick from the pain medication. Like, give, give yourself a break. And so, yeah, there was definitely moments like that, but it was, it was absolutely miraculous to me.

Kelly B Haney:

Yeah, such a part of you for so long. And then to just, yes, you still had the eating disorder, but to be free from the active part of it, that was dangerous, not just for you but, at that point, for your unborn child. Even with knowing, like I have this life inside of me, I have to protect it. For you to still just be able to stop like that is nothing short of miraculous.

Maria Phelps:

And I think, like I think part of it now that I've gone through that and then I also went through a similar story with alcohol that I was literally able to just stop one one day. I was like you know what? That was my last drink that I had last night. I'm done, like I think my personality is like I'm not a 12 step program type person, I'm an all or nothing. And I have to get to the point where I'm like, okay, I'm done, I'm ready, like let's go. And I think not everybody's like that, everybody's different. But yeah, that's kind of the.

Maria Phelps:

The base of my story is really is my eating disorder from college and into getting pregnant with my son, and then through that I had my son and my body was definitely broke down and I started to have, I started to have issues, I started to have pain, I started to have gut problems. So it's just interesting, Like when I look for the four year period of time roughly that I was four or five years that I was actively bulimic. It literally took until like year seven probably before it really affected me to where I could feel the effects, if that makes sense, because then, like, we tried to get pregnant with my daughter and it was really difficult. I was a lot healthier then, I was eating better, but I had I struggled to get pregnant with her. I had a couple of miscarriages and um, but then we got pregnant with her and when, in between getting pregnant with my or having my son and getting pregnant with my daughter, I ended up having that wrist surgery. And so when I look back all these little things, like I had a massive infection in my wrist and I stayed in the hospital for three days and so that affected my immune system. And then, okay, now I'm going to have another baby. And then so when I would go to doctors and it's like I don't feel well, I can't like like my joints hurt, like I don't understand what's going on. The one doctor was like, well, you have mono and that's what's causing the pain. Well then, years later I realized like I probably did have mono, but it was probably from prior and it just mono like stays in your system. So these doctors didn't know what to do with me. They're like just kind of grasping for straws, so then just having some of those environmental factors and then moving on later and you know that wrist infection.

Maria Phelps:

And then I went through probably like a five-year period of time where I was kind of okay, but then I just, overall, didn't feel well. I was always either constipated or had major diarrhea. I was like, why can't I be normal? Like, like, what is going on with me? And then there was a turning point. This was in 2017.

Maria Phelps:

I ended up getting a bug bite actually on my leg and it was my lower calf and that bug bite. I just remember that one morning I said I was talking to my husband. I was like I, this little bite, like it looked like a spider bite, but it didn't represent itself that way. So I was like, ah, it's probably fine. Well then it ended up growing to be gosh, the size of a soda can, like I mean a couple inches in diameter. And then I went to the doctor because I was like there's this huge rash on my leg now and they said I had eczema. So they treated me for eczema, but then it started to migrate and I actually got a patch on both of my inner thighs and then it went down my other leg and so it was very systemic and so, uh again, they sent me to the dermatologist at this point and they're like you really do have eczema and I'm like this makes no sense. This was a bug bite, like I mean, maybe, maybe it triggered eczema, but I guess their, their explanation was. I just felt like it was bullshit. It just did not make sense to me.

Maria Phelps:

And so then at that point so later in 2017, I ended up going to my primary doctor and I was like I just I'm depressed again. I'm like like things are not working well in me. So she gave me Prozac, prescribes Prozac in November of that year. Then by March I it was a normal day, everything was fine, I was getting ready. They have this big princess ball and so my daughter she was little, super cute, and we were going to just get dressed up and go to this princess ball.

Maria Phelps:

So I'm sitting there and I'm trying to put mascara on and my hand started shaking and then, literally like I just went downhill from there. It was like something in my body triggered and I, my hand was shaking. I couldn't. I couldn't do any fine dexterity stuff. My digestion basically shut down. I, my stomach was completely distended. I couldn't eat anything. I mean, I couldn't like nothing. It was like nothing was digesting.

Maria Phelps:

I had complete nerve pain down my whole right side, my legs and my arms. Um, I was just, I was in excruciating pain. Um, I started drinking more because the alcohol was. I would drink red wine. The alcohol was starting to. It would help numb the pain, numb the nerve pain. And so I went through probably gosh, eight months of just drinking a lot, going to all these doctors. I just remember I did nerve conduction tests. They thought I had MS for a while. They couldn't figure it out. I had no lesions. So they're like well, this isn't the case. And then they, when they did the nerve conduction test, that was actually the last test they did and they said, well, your nerves are conducting just fine. So here's a prescription for Prozac. And I was like no, the last time I took Prozac I then had an autoimmune response, like something, and so I was like hands up in the air, like so, just, I have to stop you for a second, because you're presenting with all these physical symptoms and you get written a prescription for Prozac.

Kelly B Haney:

Exactly, and you get written a prescription for Prozac?

Maria Phelps:

Exactly, yeah, this will solve the problem. Because they couldn't like there was like my autoimmune markers were actually fine, Like there was. I had a few weird blood tests but, like my, my blood work was actually okay and so they couldn't. They're like no test is showing anything. So you're crazy. It's in your head, lady. Yeah, exactly, exactly so.

Maria Phelps:

Um, so yeah, I was at a point where I was gonna go to another state to actually I was trying to figure out find a doctor that could maybe help me. But then I randomly ran into a rheumatologist that I've actually I knew because I actually connected him with my dad and that's kind of a different story. But he helped my dad get onto a good journey with his healing, with his autoimmune and stuff. And I randomly ran into him at the grocery store and he asked how my dad was doing and I said, hey, he's, he's actually doing great, you know, thanks to you, Like you really helped him. But then he looked at me and he was like, well, how are you? I was like, well, I'm actually not doing that. Well, I'm trying to find some doctors, you know, probably in Spokane, that can maybe help me. And he asked me a few questions. And then he said I think I know what's wrong with you and I need you to look up this disease, Sjogren's syndrome, and I need you to let me know what you think. But then I want to do some testing next week in my office and I looked it up and it made complete sense. Sometimes it affects people with just dry mouth and dry eyes. Some people it affects a lot more with their joints, their ligaments, their digestion, all this stuff. And it was just. It was like wait a second, is this literally like what I have? Because it all made sense, Like I was, I was starting to read through some forums and like just hearing people's experiences and so um.

Maria Phelps:

So then the next week I went into his office and he literally had just gotten done doing an international study on how to use ultrasound imaging of your the glands in your face and neck to be able to diagnose Sjogren's syndrome. Because he said that Sjogren's syndrome, unfortunately, is one of those autoimmune disease. There is a marker for it, but it only represents in that marker about 50% of the time. So 50% of the patients don't actually have a blood autoimmune marker for it. And he, but he did the ultrasound imaging and found the lesions in my, in my glands and my face and neck. And he's like you, absolutely have grade two, Sjogren's syndrome, and there's three, I guess. So, um, so, luckily at the time. Well I'm I keep thinking, man, if I would have had grade three, like what did? What would that look like? Um, but, uh, but yeah, he started me on Plaquenil hydroxychloroquine.

Kelly B Haney:

I just want to interrupt one second and talk more about Sjogren's, because Sjogren's is one I mean, there's so many autoimmune diseases. Now Sjogren's is one that I was not that familiar with and when we had our initial conversation I was like, well, let me learn more about Sjogren's. And Sjogren's is, I think, a really good example of just how crazy autoimmune disease is all across the board, Because you look up Sjogren's and it'll say, oh, the symptoms are dry eyes and dry mouth. But then, like you said, you dig a little deeper and it's like no, it's, it's. It's. It's way more than that. It's systemic, it's joint pain, skin rashes, cough, digestive issues, fatigue, nerve damage, damage to most of your organs, and it's.

Kelly B Haney:

It's just crazy, because your experience seems to be very common, and I know that also Venus Williams has Sjogren's. I had the same experience where it took I think it took her she said six and a half years to get a proper diagnosis, and then I found that on average it can take up to seven years to correctly diagnose Sjogren's, and meanwhile you and all these people out there are just suffering and being told to take Prozac, yeah, and meanwhile this is going on systemically in your body and you feel like a crazy person. But it's a very, very real thing. So how did that feel when you finally had someone tell you this is what this is, and you're not crazy?

Maria Phelps:

Yeah, no, it was just the relief of that Like it again, like knowing that I'm not crazy, okay, it's not in my head, like these are real things that I'm dealing with. And and it was scary because, yeah, when you do read about Sjogren's, um, literally, like one of the reasons he wanted to put me on Plaquenil is because Plaquenil has been used for years with Sjogren's and that it it actually helps protect the organs. He says it's not going to necessarily help the damage that's already done, but it's going to help protect future damage from happening. And that was super important for me because he's he told me he's like it's going to. It's going to break down your gut, it's going to break down your muscles. It's going to like because when you think about like, if, in simple terms, like what Sjogren's does is it affects your mucus and saliva producing glands, well, your mucus and saliva producing glands are important for every system in your body Everything from, like you said, your nerves, your muscles, your joints, your everything. So, as soon as those, if you don't have that protection, then it can, literally it can break down your liver, it can break down your intestines, like down your heart, like all this stuff. So, having that relief to know that I was not crazy, and that was huge for me and it was, and I think part of that too helps in my healing, because it's really hard to heal when you don't know what's going on and you're depressed. But when it was, it was like I mean I can't say that I was like instantly better. It took. It took probably six to eight weeks on the Plaquenil before I started to see some change. But, um, it was like, okay, I now know what I'm fighting. Like now, let's, let's fight it and let's out. And so, um, yeah, he started me on the medication and then with that, I started doing my own research and was like, okay, what else can I do? Because I I don't like just being on a medication. And so that was that was fall of 2018.

Maria Phelps:

And then so 2019, I finally was like 2018. And then so 2019, I finally was like starting to move again. I mean I went from being active to not even being able to walk around the block and so I started doing 10 minute walking workouts and then I did. I think I did a 5k race in in 2019. And then I started riding a bike and then in 20, at the end of summer 2019, I was feeling good enough to where I did an 85 mile bike ride by grace. So that was like I just remember going around it's. We've got this big reservoir called Lake Kukanusa, and so the race is literally just around the whole reservoir and I just remember I was crying the last 10 miles. I started crying because I was like this is the farthest I've ever biked.

Maria Phelps:

First of all, and I literally couldn't even move last year, and so just to see the difference a year had done in my journey, and then, yeah, and then, actually, after I rode, after I did that bike race is when, uh, the beginning of 2020, I decided to do triathlon. And that's how I got into triathlon, cause I was like, well, actually, one of my friends said, you know, since you like biking and it's easy on your body, and that's why I liked biking, cause it, it was definitely one of those things that it didn't hurt me as much as running. But she's like it's hard to do bike races, like there's not a lot in Montana, but you could do triathlon, like there's a few more triathlon races, and so I was like, well then, I have to learn how to swim. But I decided to. I decided to learn how to swim and then I became a triathlete in 2020. I decided to learn how to swim and then I became a triathlete in 2020.

Maria Phelps:

But I still, once I got into 2020 and I was starting to be more active, I still knew that there was like I wasn't perfect, like I I still had things I had to work through.

Maria Phelps:

So that's when I decided to do a little more research and maybe do some allergy testing. And that's when I actually got introduced to a functional nurse practitioner who got like we did all the testing. I mean, I did so many tests because that was one of the things that my rheumatologist said. He said you know, this can affect your organs. So you, really you have to do blood work, we have to make sure your systems are fine. And so I met up with this gal and we did a lot of testing and we found out that I cannot at all have any gluten at all. She said you're allergic to the wheat germ Alutin, which is literally on everything, and so you really you can't even cross contaminate. And then we didn't do a biopsy to see if I was truly celiac, but she said you have everything that would indicate that you are actually celiac and I don't think we need to do the testing and I'm like that's fine, I don't want to do another. I don't want to do another test.

Kelly B Haney:

You had enough information at that point, no no gluten, exactly, exactly.

Maria Phelps:

And so, um, yeah, we did a bunch of tests. We found out that, yeah, celiac, and then, uh, no dairy and then a few other things that I was pretty sensitive to, and so I switched up my diet completely and that was like every time I did that, I what I was measuring was actually my performance, because I started getting more into running and being competitive again, which I guess, like part of that too, is like I again was super competitive and I loved it, I loved being active. And then my college journey literally shot that down for me, but I still had it inside of me and so, like, once it got taken away, I realized like now, like that was really hard because it was different when, when I could still go and run or, you know, do something active, you know, even though I was like bulimic or like I had kids or something. But once it all got taken away from me and I literally couldn't move, that that was really hard for me. That was like I don't need, I can't even imagine it'd be. It's totally not the same, but it would be similar.

Maria Phelps:

Like you just wake up one day and you can't, can't walk, and so I just like like that's how I felt, like I was just like I can't do anything. Now how do I change this? And then, like, when all that's taken away from you and then building back up again, like it was a really big deal for me. And so I think, even now, to this day, I look at it and I'm like how can I even get better? I just I keep working towards like OK, can I get that extra one or two percent? And I think, because I was pushed down so far and I was in such a hole for such a long time, either mentally with my bulimia or physically when I had that flare, I just I still want to get that one or 2% to see like how, how much more can I get?

Kelly B Haney:

Gratitude must factor in, where you know what it's like to have what was a lifeline for you taken away. So I can imagine that, as that was returning to you slowly but surely, you must have just been seeing everything with new eyes. Sure.

Maria Phelps:

Yeah, and that's where I like to share my journey, because I feel like some people will look at me and they'll be like, oh my gosh, I can't believe you're. You're running this much. And I mean now I'm training for my second marathon and all this stuff. And I have to remind them like, hey, just because this is what I'm doing now, like I literally started with 10 minute walking workouts, so don't say you can't do. I mean you don't have to do what I do, but you can do a lot more than you think you can if you give your body the tools that it needs. And sometimes it takes the right doctors to get the right tools, takes the right mindset, it takes the patience I mean just being super patient with yourself.

Maria Phelps:

But yeah, I'm very thankful and I think, like when I share pieces of my story, like through social media, every time I share something, people are messaging me, commenting me on things like thank you for sharing your story. I've heard, I've heard people like you know doing their first 5k, just because they're like you, encouraged me that I could do it. So, yeah, yeah it's, it's cool, it's um. There's definitely a lot of gratitude because I know that, yeah, I could maybe wake up someday and not not be able to walk. I don't know, I, I, I guess I I'm just at a spot where I'm like, okay, if this is what I can do right now, I'm going to, I'm going to try it and see, see what happens, and then encourage others to do it, and who knows what tomorrow will bring, but I'm going to do what I can today. So well.

Kelly B Haney:

It certainly sounds to me like you are deep into the path of healing. You're hitting it from. You've mentioned your, your spiritual healing A lot of times. You've worked on your emotional healing. You're certainly working on your physical healing, and the fact that now you are at the stage where you are giving back what you've learned because you can, you can speak with authority, not just on your battle with autoimmune disease, but going back to the eating disorders like that opens up a whole nother world of people that can learn from you, be inspired by you, find hope in your story. So it's such a powerful story on so many levels because you're not just hitting that one audience, you're hitting two for all the people out there who have struggled with eating disorders.

Kelly B Haney:

And then the fallout like you said, your body was so depleted that it then led to all these other things happening. You're still now a beacon of hope, because I'm not a triathlete, most people are not triathletes and after everything you've done, you're out there just crushing it now and loving every minute of it, and so you are a true inspiration. Really, you've been through it, maria, like you have been through it, and you're here before me today. You're. You're here before me today, smiling. You're full of life. I can feel all of your energy coming all the way from Montana to DC here, so you are just such a good example to all of us of someone who didn't give up, who kept going and who learned a lot about herself along the way, and now you're giving back to others. So you are a beautiful person. Thank you for being here today. Thank you for being so open with us. If people want to reach out to you, to connect with you, how do they do?

Maria Phelps:

Oh for sure, yeah. So I again. I'm super open on sharing my story, giving my examples of what I did. I can try to help anybody that asks. I'm on Instagram quite a bit. They can find me at Fit Mortgage Coach. I get quite a few people that are asking me questions about my story, so I'm happy to share.

Kelly B Haney:

Thank you so much for being here. I so appreciate it. We had an early start time for me. It was early for me and it was two hours earlier for you, which is impressive. So I'm going to thank you for your time and let you get on with your day, thank you so much.

Maria Phelps:

I appreciate you. I'm excited to hear more of your podcast. I've listened to all of them so far, so keep going. I think it's great what you're doing.

Kelly B Haney:

Thank you so much for joining me today for this healing hero episode with Maria Phelps. I highly encourage you to follow along on her journey and reach out to her on Instagram at fit mortgage coach. Thank you so much for listening, and if you received value from this episode, I humbly ask that you support my ability to produce this podcast by subscribing, downloading episodes, rating and reviewing, and please share it with whoever you think may find value in it as well. I am so honored to walk alongside of you as we heal and stay healed together.