Serve First, Sell Later Marketing

#73 What Rainmakers Know: The Relationship Rules No One Teaches

• Sylvia Garibaldi • Season 1 • Episode 73

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In Episode 73, host Sylvia Garibaldi dives into the true heart of building a thriving professional practice: authentic relationships. She explains what rainmakers do differently and why deep, human connection is no longer optional but essential for lawyers, mediators, and professionals who want to stand out, get consistent referrals, and become trusted leaders in their fields. Sylvia shares what authenticity really looks like in action, why surface-level networking falls flat, and offers five practical, relationship-building strategies you can start using right away. If you want to become a true rainmaker—not by being flashy, but by being real—this episode is your guide.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • 01:11 Why being skilled is no longer enough to stand out
  • 03:27 What authenticity in business really means
  • 06:30 Five ways that rainmakers use to build deep, lasting relationships
  • 09:17 How becoming a connector creates more opportunities
  • 09:54 Why honesty and integrity build trust
  • 11:33 How trust turns into referrals and builds reputation
  • 12:22 The ripple effect of strong connections

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00:00 - Sylvia (Host)
Hello everyone and welcome back to Episode 73 of the Serve First, sell Later Marketing Podcast. I'm your host, sylvia Garibaldi, and today we're diving into something that's at the heart of every great business, and that is relationships. So not just the handshake and business card kind, but really deep, real, authentic connections that make people want to work with you, refer you and trust you. No one likes feeling like just another name on a list, so we all want to be seen, heard and valued and guess what? So do your clients, your colleagues and everyone you meet in the professional world. So today I'm going to show you how building genuine relationships isn't just nice. It's actually the most powerful tool you have for growing your practice. But I also want to show you how you can become a true Rainmaker by being real, being kind and building business relationships that last. All right. So let's talk about something that's changing the game in your industry, and once again we're looking at relationships. 

01:11
So not too long ago, being a good lawyer or a good mediator was all about knowing the rules right, having the right answers and winning cases. People hired you because you were smart and you got the job done, and sure that still matters. But today I have to say it isn't enough anymore. Now clients want more. They want someone they can trust, someone who listens, someone they actually like working with. Okay, so think about it. If you had to choose between two professionals with the same skills, wouldn't you pick the one who makes you feel comfortable and understood? And I think that's where deep, real relationships come in, Because when you take the time to really get to know your clients and colleagues, to remember their stories, to check in, to show you care, you're actually standing out, and so you become more than just another name on a list. You become their go-to person. And I think here's where the real magic happens, because when people trust you, they start to send others your way. They'll tell their friends, their family, even other professionals about you, and I think that's how you get referrals, that's how you get repeat business and that's how you open doors to new opportunities that you might never have seen coming. And I have to say this is what rainmakers do. They aren't just great at their jobs, they're great at building relationships and making connections, because they know that being a leader in their field isn't about being the loudest voice in the room. It's actually about being the person people turn to when it matters most. So if you want to grow your practice, if you want to be the person people remember and recommend, then I really believe you need to focus on building real connections, because, at the end of the day, business is personal and the stronger your relationships, the stronger your practice will be. So let's dig into how you can start building those authentic connections, one conversation at a time. 

03:27
So we've been talking about deep authentic relationships, but what does that really mean? So for me, authenticity in business is pretty simple. I have a simple formula that I follow, and it's just about being honest, showing empathy and truly caring about the people you work with and getting them the results. It's not about putting on a show or pretending to be someone you're not. It's about being yourself and letting others feel comfortable being themselves too. So I want to break this down a bit, because empathy means you actually listen to people and it matters what they're saying, so you try to understand where they're coming from, what are they worried about and what they actually need. Honesty means you tell the truth, even when it's hard, and genuine interest. That's when you really want to see others succeed, not because it might help you, but because you care about their journey and I have to say, at SG&E Associates, we are super passionate about helping our clients succeed. We have a genuine interest in wanting them to be more effective to get the results that they're looking for, and it becomes very clear when we work with our clients that that is a passion of ours and that is something that we're really dedicated to. 

04:47
So let's talk about what authenticity is not. So. It's not just shaking hands at a networking event, handing out business cards and moving on to the next person. That's what I call surface level networking. Some people may call it inauthentic surface level networking, some people may call it inauthentic. Whatever you want to view it, as I think the idea here is that you might be collecting a lot of contacts along the way, a lot of connections, but most of those connections won't go anywhere unless you start committing to developing those into authentic relationships, because deep authentic relationships they're very different. They are built over time. They're about following up, checking in and remembering the little things like someone's birthday or how their big case turned out, or even just asking how their weekend was, or if you know that their child is sick. Checking in how is your child doing? Are they feeling back to normal? It's about being there when it matters, not just when you need something. So when you focus on real connection instead of just collecting contacts, people start to notice and they will remember you, they will trust you, and I think that's when really good things start to happen, because people start reaching out to you not just for business, but for advice, for support and for partnership. So if you want to build a practice that lasts, focus on being real, just be honest, be you, be, be kind and show people you care. That's what deep authentic relationships are all about. 

06:30
So I guess the question becomes how do you actually build these deep authentic relationships that we keep talking about? And I'm going to give you some simple, practical strategies that you can start using today, and I'll share some real examples so that you can see how this works in action. So let's start with the first one, and that is be useful first. So what do I mean by that? Before you ask for anything, offer something of value. This could be as simple as sharing a helpful article, passing along an insight or making an introduction that could help someone's business. So, for example, let's say you read a new court decision that affects your client's industry. You could send your client a quick email with a summary and your thoughts. Or, if you know these two professionals who could really help each other, introduce them. Because when you help others first, you show that you care about their success, not just your own. 

07:33
So the second one really is the follow-up, and following up thoughtfully. So don't just reach out when you need something, check in without an agenda. So send a note on a milestone event or congratulate someone when you've seen that they've achieved something. And maybe you meet someone at a conference and you had a great conversation about work-life balance. A week later, send them a quick message hey, I really enjoyed our chat about balancing work and family. Hope you're having a great week and it's just as simple as that. But remembering the little details makes a big difference. So, for example, I love to introduce our clients to other colleagues and people that could help them out, or even referrals. So I make a concerted effort of that. When I'm working with my clients, I always make sure that if there are others I can connect them to, or if I know of different sources that are going to help them, I will always keep that on my radar and ensure that I'm sending that along. 

08:33
So the third thing you can do is partner and collaborate. Working together is a great way to build stronger connections, and you might co-author an article with a colleague or invite a client to join you on a panel discussion. Maybe you start a monthly roundtable for professionals in your field to share ideas. So, for example, I once teamed up with another professional who invited other professionals to my upcoming workshop and then I introduced her to another colleague who was looking for speakers. So we were there to co-collaborate and help each other in different scenarios and I think the result is we built a stronger relationship and we got our names out to a wider audience, and today I'm still working with this other professional and we're co-referring all the time. 

09:17
The fourth thing is become a connector right. One of the best things you can do is to introduce people who could help each other, and maybe you have a client who's looking for a financial planner and you know just the person. Or you meet two lawyers who practice in two completely different areas but could refer cases to each other, so you make that connection. So when we connect people, we're adding value to both sides and they're going to remember it. It's like planting seeds that grow into a whole network of opportunities. 

09:54
And the fifth thing you can do is always act with honesty and transparency. Right, if you make a mistake, own up to it. If you can't help someone, say so. If possible, point them in the right direction. So, for example, I once had a potential client come to me with a scenario that wasn't in my wheelhouse. I couldn't help her, so, instead of taking it on, I referred her to someone I trusted, and that prospect later sent me a thank you note and referred a friend to me that they knew could use my help. Right? So, acting with integrity always builds trust and a strong reputation. 

10:33
Okay, so, to recap, be useful first, always follow up thoughtfully, think about partnering and collaborating, become a connector and always show integrity. So, so important. And I think these aren't just business tricks. They're ways to show people you care and to build real, lasting trust, and when you do that, you don't just grow your network, you grow your whole practice. All right, so give one or two of these a try this week and you might be surprised at the doors that they open. By the way, if you're finding this episode valuable, I've covered related topics in past episodes that can help you deepen your understanding, so be sure to check them out. I'll put some links in the show notes so that you can easily find them. All right now I want to talk about why these authentic relationships can be your ultimate rainmaking superpower so important and often misunderstood. 

11:33
Okay, so if you remember one thing from today's episode, let it be this People do business with people they trust and like. It's that simple. So think about your own life. When you need a doctor or a mechanic, or even a babysitter, who do you call you, ask someone you trust? Right, you look for a name that comes with a story oh, she's really great, she really listened to me, or he went the extra mile when I needed help. The same is true in your profession. So clients remember how you made them feel. If they trust you and like working with you, they're going to come back and they're going to refer people to you and, as I said, even more, they're going to tell their friends, their family and their colleagues about you, and I think that's how referrals happen, that's how your reputation grows. 

12:22
But I think it doesn't stop there, because when you build strong, real relationships, new doors start to open. Sometimes it's a client who comes back with a new case. Other times it's a colleague who invites you to join a big project, maybe you're invited to be a speaker, or a former client wants to partner with you on something new, right. The possibilities are endless and I've seen so many different scenarios come out of this, so it's important to be open to the opportunities that can find you. So I've also seen lawyers get asked to co-author books or even help resolve disputes before they ever reach the courtroom all because they built trust and stayed connected. 

13:06
And here's something important you don't have to be the loudest person in the room to be a rainmaker. You don't have to be an extrovert or a natural networker. So some of the best rainmakers I know are quiet, are thoughtful and they are focused on details. So, for example, they will remember birthdays, they send articles that matter, they walk the talk, meaning they follow up on promises. These small, genuine gestures build just as much business, and sometimes even more, than those bigger personalities, if you know what I mean. So there's research to back this up as well. Studies show that clients are more likely to refer professionals who make them feel understood and respected, and data also tells us that long-term business. Success comes from repeat clients and word of mouth, not just one-time wins. 

14:05
So if you wanna to become a true rainmaker, focus on building authentic relationships. Be the person people trust, the one that they enjoy working with and the one that they remember when an opportunity comes up, because that's the real secret to growing your practice and making a lasting impact. So you might be thinking this all sounds great, sylvia, but I'm just not a natural networker. Or maybe you're saying I don't have time for all this relationship building, or even it feels a little fake for me to reach out to build my business. So if any of this sounds familiar, you're really not alone. 

14:47
These are some of the most common barriers I hear from lawyers and mediators all the time, so let's tackle them one by one. First, I'm not a natural networker, so let's take that one. Well, guess what? You don't have to be, because building authentic relationships isn't about working a room or being the life of the party. It's about real one-on-one connections. So you can be quiet, you can be thoughtful, even a little shy, and still be amazing at this, okay. So start small, reach out to one person a week, send a genuine note, ask how they're doing and that's it. Over time, those small steps add up. So if you're thinking, oh my goodness, I don't want to go to that big networking event, you don't need to do that in order to build authentic relationships, you can do this by picking up the phone, setting up a Zoom call, building something one-on-one Okay. So it's just taking those small steps. 

15:49
The second one is I don't have time, and I totally understand it. I get it, we're all busy, but here's the thing you don't need hours every day to build strong relationships. Instead, I want you to focus on quality, not quantity. So maybe you set aside 15 minutes a week to check in with someone, or you add a reminder to your calendar to send a quick email or text. It's about being consistent, not overwhelming yourself. And finally, it feels inauthentic. Oh boy, this is such a big one. I have heard this one over and over again. With so many clients and prospects, no one wants to feel like they're just going through the motions. 

16:34
The trick is to always lead with authenticity. Don't reach out because you want something, okay. So always start with giving first, because that could make you feel more authentic. Right, you're not asking for anything. So when you reach out because you care because you want to help or because you genuinely enjoy the connection. You're being honest and real, and people are going to get that, they're going to feel that and they will respond in kind. 

17:03
So I think it's important to think about how to overcome this barrier of feeling inauthentic. How to overcome this barrier of feeling inauthentic, and a great way to do that is to give first without wanting anything in return. Okay, I think that's a really great exercise to engage in. So if you're the one who says, oh gosh, no, I'm not going to be doing this because this really feels inauthentic to me or just doesn't feel natural, then I want you to think about how you can reach out and offer something first to someone. Okay. So to sum this up, you don't need to be a natural networker, you don't need a ton of time and you definitely don't need to be fake. Okay. So just focus on real, quality connections and make it a regular habit, even if it's just a little bit at a time. Right, and always be yourself. Trust me, that is going to be more than enough, all right. 

18:02
Next, I want to share some quick action steps that you can take right now to start building those authentic relationships. All right. So what are some clear action steps that you can take right now to start building those deeper, authentic relationships that set rainmakers apart? Well, I want to really quickly recap the key points from today. So, as I mentioned, start with empathy, really listen, show people you care about what matters to them. Always lead with value, offer help, share useful information or connect people before they ever ask for anything in return. And follow up and follow up and follow up, and please do it consistently. Don't reach out just once and disappear. Check in, remember the little things and keep the conversation going, and finally, always act with integrity. Be honest, be fair things and keep the conversation going, and finally, always act with integrity. Be honest, be fair and do the right thing even when no one's watching. So here's my challenge to you Think of one person in your professional world. 

19:03
It could be a client, it could be a colleague, maybe even someone you haven't spoken to in a while. So this week, I want you to reach out with no agenda, just simply check in, share something helpful or simply ask how they're doing, and use one of the strategies I talked about today and see what happens. To make this easier, you can try using a tool to help you stay on track and, trust me, you don't need anything fancy. It could be a simple spreadsheet where you list people that you want to stay in touch with, or you can set reminders on your calendar to follow up with every month. Right, and if you love tech, you can use a CRM system that can help you organize your contacts and really keep notes on all of your conversations. But the point here is just find a system that works for you, something that helps you be more intentional and not just random. Okay, I hope that's making sense. 

20:00
So remember, building relationships isn't about luck or personality. It's about showing up. It's about being genuine and making small efforts over and over again. This is not a one-time exercise. Small efforts over and over again this is not a one-time exercise. This is something that you continue to build over and over again and that's how you become the person that people trust, remember and recommend. So I know it sounds like it's a lot of work, but these relationships build over time. So go ahead, pick that one relationship to deepen this week, take that first step and you will be surprised at the doors that it can open. Thank you for tuning in today If you found this episode helpful. I'd love to hear from you. Please send me a message or share your biggest takeaway and, if you haven't already, please make sure to subscribe to the show so you don't miss future episodes packed with actionable strategies to grow your practice. See you in the next episode.