#84 Busting 6 Mindset Myths Blocking Your Growth

Think you’re not the “marketing type”? In this episode, Sylvia Garibaldi calls out six common mindset myths that keep smart professionals stuck. She shows why success in business development is more about how you think than what you do—and how small shifts in mindset, habits, and perspective can lead to big results. Whether you’re introverted, short on time, or just tired of feeling salesy, this episode will help you reframe growth in a way that feels authentic and doable.

Inside this episode, you’ll learn:

• 00:23 – The power of mindset in business development
• 02:40 – Growth mindset vs. fixed mindset in real-world BD
• 04:01 – Clear “next step” to take
• 07:37 – One action you can do today
• 09:56 – How to reframe serving vs selling
• 14:41 – Simple habits under 20 minutes
• 17:00 – Crafting a plan that fits you
• 21:05 – Team up for accountability
• 25:33 – Your 3-step challenge

Resources:

• Feeling stuck about how to grow your practice, book a free strategy call here.
• #82 The New Networking (Without the Ick) That Actually Grows Your Practice
• #74 How Top Professionals Market Their Practices Without Lifting A Finger    
• #62 Attract Clients: The "Serve First" Secret
• #45 Outdated Marketing Myths Costing You Clients and Revenue

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Transcript

Hello everyone and welcome back to episode 84 of the Serve First Sell Later Marketing podcast. I'm your host, Sylvia Garibaldi. So I want to start this episode by asking you whether you've ever thought. I've got the skills. I just need more clients. And so if this is you, then this episode was made specifically with you in mind.

So how often have you tried a tactic such as networking, asking for referrals, writing an article, [00:02:00] and thought, Hmm, this time I'm really committed only to end up bailing or procrastinating or quietly hoping someone else handles it. Here's the reality nobody's talking about most times it's not your technique that fails, but it's your mindset.

So let me explain. Yes, there are tactics and processes that are critically important to success of any marketing, but you have to bring them to life. And if the story in your head says, I'm not ready. This is just gonna feel too pushy, or I'm too busy, you're going to self-sabotage before you even get started.

Research backs this. Professionals who succeed at business development have a growth mindset. They treat outreach as practice, and then they see rejection as feedback and always persist through discomfort. Meanwhile, those with a fixed mindset. They really believe that it's [00:03:00] either natural talent or they just get stuck in perfectionism and avoidance.

And so in this episode, I'm gonna bust through six mindset myths that could be holding you back. I. , And help you find the best way forward. Because I'm not just exposing myths. I'm going to be giving you practical done for you actions that are gonna help you flip the switch. So you'll learn how to network authentically, how to align business development with your natural style and really build those micro habits to get started.

Even when that internal critic,, could be screaming. If this is you and you're ready to move past all the noise in your head and you actually wanna grow your practice, then please stay tuned right to the end because you're about to hear why, who you think you are, matters just as much as what you do, and really how to use that awareness to take real steps [00:04:00] forward.

Okay, let's jump in. So I wanna kick off with myth number one, which is if I'm a good lawyer, mediator, or divorce professional, then work will attract clients on its own. So if you just stayed immersed in your work, like writing briefs, prepping coaching clients, somehow business is just going to appear.

But what we know is this, that rarely works that way according to a 2022 survey of approximately 1800 partners across law and financial firms, those who proactively build and maintain relationships are called activators, and they can grow revenue up to 32% than those who don't.

So in other words, being excellent isn't enough. You've gotta show up in clients' circles and research on performance mindset shows the difference between professionals who succeed at business development. And that those who do, it's actually [00:05:00] not a technical skill, but a growth mindset because they treat outreach as a practice.

Embracing small failures and using feedback all the time is absolutely key. So professionals with a fixed mindset who believe talent alone should attract clients. They are the ones who often get stuck avoiding outreach because they fear failure. They fear imperfection, and so they take no action at all.

So here's what that could look like in everyday life. Maybe you're thinking that you could wait until you have a free afternoon to take action, or maybe you don't wanna feel salesy, or you just need perfect language before you can send that email. And so while you wait for perfect timing or the right mood, clients are hiring someone else.

And I think that's important to let that settle in a little bit. So here's your to-do list for myth number one. You wanna [00:06:00] reframe business development as relationship building, not sales. Just think of it as conversations and not transactions. You wanna pick one activity that really feels aligned with your strengths.

Maybe it's a weekly social media post, a lunch with a colleague, or offering free. Half hour consultations, whatever it may be, pick one activity. Then I want you to schedule it weekly, like clockwork, okay? Because outreach isn't a nice to have. It's an investment in your practice's future. And so the goal isn't instant sales.

It's about creating space for opportunities that you wouldn't get if you were staying hidden in your office or behind your. Computer. Right. So busting this myth starts with a daily deliberate action, and that is doing one small outreach every week that can set you on the path to showing up before your clients even know that they need you.[00:07:00]

Alright, myth number two is. I'm not an extrovert, so business development isn't for me. And so I hear this one all the time from a lot of professionals and you could be thinking, I'm really reserved. So doing public speaking or networking events are not for me. And so the reality is that there are many professionals who are introverts, and that's not a weakness.

It's actually a superpower. And here's the truth. Introverts often have a natural edge in business development. So according to attorney at work, introverts thrive at asking deep questions, listening closely, and really connecting. Exactly the skills that you're gonna need to build trust and long-term relationships.

So if you're an introvert, you don't have to fake being an extrovert. Instead, just embrace your style, right? So leverage [00:08:00] thought leadership, write those articles, share those insights, build trust through value and not small chit chat. Right. Focus on one-on-one or small group conversations, especially if that makes you feel more comfortable and bring your natural, empathetic self to the table because people will remember that.

And also, it's important to treat exchange as a connection and not a sales pitch. In fact, a recent routers article. Basically indicated that networking isn't about being the loudest, but really it's all about listening and asking questions. And I think most people at these events are super nervous as well.

So you know, it's important that if you are an introvert and you know that you excel at deep thinking and thoughtful decisions and meaningful conversations, then embrace that. Embrace that, and don't shy away from it. So here's your to-do list for myth number two.

If [00:09:00] you are an introvert, I want you to pick a business development activity that fits your strengths. Maybe send a thoughtful email to a colleague or host a small virtual round table. Prepare thoughtful questions ahead of time. So ask your clients or referral partners, what keeps them up at night, and they'll really appreciate you listening more than you're actually doing the talking.

And think about setting manageable goals, maybe one small outreach or conversation per week. So really no big crowds, no forced smiles, just being naturally you. And I think this approach can really work. Because you're not less capable when you're quiet. You're actually more capable at building trust, faster at understanding real needs and forging lasting connections.

And I think that's the core of business growth. So moving on to myth number three, which is selling [00:10:00] is too salesy, so I don't wanna feel like I'm marketing, and I think this one hits hard for lawyers, mediators, divorce professionals, because you have gotten into this work. To help people not to pitch or persuade.

And I think that's where the mental block starts, because here's what most people think, sales has to equal being slimy or yucky. And I think we imagine those pushy car salesmen, right? Those unsolicited calls, those unrealistic promises. But I want you to ask yourself, is that really what marketing or selling has to be?

Or is it just what we've convinced ourselves that it's all about important question to ask yourself. But I believe that one of the biggest mindset traps is really thinking that selling is pushy and slimy. And in fact, I always used to think that for many years until I [00:11:00] finally changed my mindset around that.

And you know. That mindset of being salesy or pushy, that's really a limited, outdated view because real selling is doing the exact opposite. And what do I mean by that? It's about serving. It's about serving first. It's about offering clarity. It's about building trust, so when you think about it, this podcast is called the Serve First Sell Later Marketing podcast, right? Because we're serving first, we're educating first, and I think it's really, really important to understand that marketing equals sharing valuable insights, getting your name out there in service of your clients.

Advertising is a more deliberate in invitation based nudge to people, and there's always a need for advertising, right? And then there's selling. And selling is basically just asking for the opportunity to help [00:12:00] someone if there's a fit. No pressure. So that's it. Honest, transparent, and really rooted in service.

So how do you make this feel more natural? So I wanna give you a few ideas here, and I think the first is you need to serve first, as I mentioned, offer value, educate through workshops, webinars, writing, social media, quick check-ins, emails, whatever it may be. Serve first. You also wanna lead with a question.

Okay, so would you like help with That is a very simple question, which feels way different than, are you going to hire me for this initiative? Right. So it's about changing the language. I also think it's very realistic. To always accept a no as another step in the relationship and not, and not a failure.

Okay. It's feedback, [00:13:00] but it's not defeat. And I think , that's a place where a lot of professionals struggle and kind of just feel defeated and. Don't even wanna continue a sales conversation or don't want to even have more sales consultations because they fear that. No. So if we're looking at your to-do list now for myth number three, here's what I suggest you do.

You reframe selling as serving. Okay, shift your language in your mind and in your actual outreach. I also want you to practice one service offer per week. So in those service offerings, always ask, can I help? If. You, you're gonna ask that once you deliver value and you educate, okay? You also wanna track your responses and not just the wins.

You need to see how many people say yes and how many say no, and what does that tell you about your approach? And so you need to track the responses and [00:14:00] use that intel for. Changing your approach, maybe keeping your approach, maybe adding in different ways or different language, right? So it's always tracking, tracking, tracking, super important.

So when you act from service, you'll find that selling feels more ethical. It feels more natural, it actually feels rewarding, and when you follow through with authenticity, you're gonna build a reputation that speaks for itself. By the way, if you're finding this episode valuable, I've covered related topics in past episodes that can help deepen your understanding, so please be sure to check out those episodes.

I'll drop the links in the show notes so you can easily find them. All right. Let's tackle myth number four, and that is I don't have time for business development. Right? Can any of you relate to that one? Because you're probably feeling those tight deadlines, those billable hour pressures, the client emergencies, the endless emails.

It can just feel like [00:15:00] time is slipping away. But here's what I know. When professionals say that they don't have time, what they actually mean is business development. It's not a priority, and so what happens is if it's not a priority, it just gets buried under everything urgent.

And so you actually don't need more hours of free time. You need micro moves that you can integrate in your day. Okay? So let me share what is the best approach to doing this. So the first thing you can do. Is to time block small pockets weekly. So think about blocking 15 minutes two to three times a week, and I want you to treat it like any business meeting, right?

Any client meeting. You're never gonna cancel a client call. So don't cancel your business development time either because that is an investment in your business. You should also weave business development [00:16:00] into what you're already doing. So what do I mean by this? Maybe you're on your way to a meeting or on your way to court.

I want you to invite a colleague or a referral contact for coffee, right? Lunch meeting in town, maybe add one more conversation before or after and make it more purposeful. Use these daily micro habits to really keep the momentum. And so there's like four simple habits that you can engage in. You can update your top contacts.

That could take you maybe three minutes. You could send a quick message or invite, maybe that takes you six minutes. You can share a relevant article or social media post that could maybe take another six minutes. You can write a short thank you or follow up note. Maybe that takes you three minutes. Okay?

All of that adds up to just 18 minutes, right? 18 minutes. That could meaningfully grow your network and really form a consistent business development [00:17:00] discipline. So this mindset shift going from I don't have time to, I use my time deliberately, can make a huge difference because it's not about creating space, it's about being intentional with the time that you already have.

So here's your to-do list for myth number four. I want you to put 15 minute blocks onto your calendar at least twice a week and really honor them. . You can blend business development into your daily routines like coffee or lunch. And then I want you to pick one micro habit, like maybe sending a thoughtful message or sharing a social media poster article and do it three times this week.

And then I want you to test it. See how these small moves can build momentum without overwhelming your schedule. All right, let's dive into myth number five, which is one size fits all business development [00:18:00] plans work for everyone. And so this myth often shows up like this. You see someone getting some really great results on social media, or they're posting great blog posts, or they're hosting fantastic webinars, and you think that's the path.

I'm gonna copy that and I'm gonna have the same success. But here's the problem. Business development plans need to be personalized based on your strengths, your style, your goals, and really what energizes you. If it's not personalized, that leads to chasing someone else's rhythm, getting burnt out, inconsistent results, completely disconnected maybe from what business development feels like.

For you, and so it may not be your approach to things. And so that's exactly why it fails, right? So instead, a strengths-based business development plan could look like finding those things that energize you, [00:19:00] like maybe you love writing, so make content your focus, or maybe you love teaching.

So make sure you're putting on that, that workshop or that webinar. , So really important to find what energizes you. Energizes. You wanna pick only one or two business development channels because depth always beats breadth. Every time. So really focus on those one or two things and then set outcomes that you really care about.

So whether it's article views or referral conversations, or an invitation to speak. So you're really measuring actions but not. Revenue. Okay. I hope that's making sense, right? Because you wanna make sure that you're making progress and it's these small steps that are gonna help you get there. So maybe you're tracking the number of referral conversations or the number of emails that you sent to prospects that's not gonna convert into instant revenue, right?

But it's going to actually result in taking action, and taking those actions that are going to move the [00:20:00] dial. So here's your to-do list for myth number five. I want you to audit your natural strengths this week. What business development efforts feel easy or energizing to you? Choose just one business development activity that aligns with that strength.

And then I want you to block consistent time and track one metric, right? Is it the number of emails, maybe the number of articles that you posted or social media that you posted this week? So we're measuring. Metrics that allow us to track activity. And then I want you to reassess, you know, after a month, six weeks, take a look at it and, and figure out was this meaningful?

Where did the results come from? And adjust or stick really based to your assessment, so this isn't fancy, it's just smart. It keeps you focused and it really is all about. Finding the system and process that works for you, and when it aligns with your style, [00:21:00] consistency will follow and results will start to appear.

So let's tackle myth number six, which is you've gotta do business development on your own. And so that voice in your head might say something like, well, it's just me and my practice. So it's my goals, my schedule. I really don't need someone checking in. In reality, growth rarely happens in a vacuum. In fact, trying to go it alone doesn't just slow progress.

It can actually stall it completely. So research does show that having accountability can dramatically increase your odds of success. So people are 65% more likely to stick to their goals if they commit to them publicly. And they are 95% more likely. When they report progress to a specific person, which is accountability, right?

And so for lawyers, mediators, and [00:22:00] divorce professionals, adding a coach or an accountability partner can really transform your business development habits. It can really allow clients to become much more consistent revenue to be much more consistent, your goals to be clearer, and really just enjoying so many more results that follow.

So if you're feeling like the time is now to get your business development going, then I really recommend you book a strategy call with me where I'll help you figure this out. And so, so many of our clients are enjoying success in their practice, and I'd love to help you too.

So you can find the link for the strategy call in the show notes below. So. Why is this so important? Why does this matter so much? And I think it's important to stay on track because when you have a coach or a mentor or a peer partner. It. It's actually providing you with structure. Okay? There's check-ins, there's [00:23:00] accountability, there's follow through, and it's really, really important to have that in place.

You'll also receive honest feedback, so you can't always see your blind spots, right? But a coach or a trusted peer can cut through the fluff. And really tell it like it is. So whether it's your pitch, maybe it's your lack of follow-up habit, or networking effectiveness, whatever it is, they are there to spot those blind spots.

They can also share ideas and help you stay motivated. So accountability isn't just about discipline, it's about connection. A partner who brings fresh ideas and energy, they're gonna really help you. Move forward with finding those opportunities and really enjoying so much more success. So it's really no surprise that more firms, professional firms are investing in business development coaching.

We see this all the time, and so one platform reported that [00:24:00] those attorneys who engaged in business development, they actually doubled their book of business within a year through coaching and accountability programs. So here's your to-do list for myth number six. I want you to choose your coaching partner, your mentor, accountability partner, and start the process.

Make sure that you respect them and that you feel comfortable about being honest with them and really make sure that they have experience in helping others achieve the results that you want to achieve. And then make sure that you're setting a simple structure right? Weekly or biweekly check-ins, or super important.

So you wanna build mutual trust and always celebrate those wins, right? Because accountability is not criticism, it's, it's a way to help you reach those goals. And another important element here is to always track what moves the needle. So not just activity, but [00:25:00] real progress. So maybe you sent out five emails to prospects this week, or maybe you held two referral partner conversations. So really knowing and tracking what shifted and helped you get results.

Okay, so it's about becoming accountable and really studying those results and it's, it's no longer like a self-sacrifice. It's really, accountability is, is really a shared strategic effort that supports both your energy and your growth. All right, so here's your next step. I want you to choose just one action, just one.

The one that resonated the most with you from today's episode. It could be maybe the 15 minute business development block, maybe a serve first email, a handwritten note, or finding that accountability coach. I want you to schedule this into your calendar. Every week, and I want you to treat it like a client meeting so that you're gonna be showing up [00:26:00] because client meetings are always important.

So you need to invest time in that. And then think about telling someone, maybe a, a colleague or accountability partner. Tell them what you're doing, say it out loud, , and make sure that you're gonna be held accountable through that process. So here's a simple combination. I want you to think about one action.

Schedule it onto your calendar and share it with someone else, right? And you'll be amazed at how fast momentum builds. Alright, go ahead and take that step and I'll meet you back here next time to help you keep that momentum going. Thanks for tuning in today, and if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe so that you don't miss future episodes packed with actionable strategies to grow your practice.

See you in the next episode.