Ep 19: A Candid Conversation About Exiting My 20's & Entering My 30's

In this raw and reflective solo episode, I’m sharing the real, unfiltered truth about what it feels like to turn 30. From body image struggles and overtraining in my 20s to the deep shifts in how I now view health & fitness, strength, and self-worth—this is a heart-to-heart on growth, healing, and becoming. I talk about the things I’m ready to leave behind (hello, diet culture and hustle mentality) and the soul-centered lessons I’m bringing with me into this next chapter.

If you’re navigating your own evolution—whether you’re approaching 30 or well into it—this episode will remind you that you're not alone, and that strength isn’t just about muscle. It’s about self-trust, softness, boundaries, and becoming more you.

✨ In this episode, we discuss:

✅ What it really looks like to evolve your relationship with your body in your 30s
✅ The toxic habits and mindsets I’m leaving behind from my 20s (and why you might want to, too)
✅ How my definition of health, strength, and self-worth has evolved over the year
✅ Why I stopped chasing the scale and started chasing alignment
✅ The power of slowing down, setting boundaries, and choosing joy as a form of wellness
✅ What soul-centered strength means—and how to step into it

And if you're not already, be sure to follow me on socials @thestrengthgirl to follow along and weigh-in on the conversations we'll be having. Be sure to also take a screenshot of the episode and pop it into social media so that I know you’ve tuned in. I'll be utilizing my socials to get some inspo from you on what it is you want to hear next!

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Website: thestrengthgirl.com
Instagram: @thestrengthgirl
Facebook: thestrengthgirl

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ANOTHER FREE RESOURCE- THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO BUILDING HEALTHY HABITS: A 19 page guide packed with tangible tips on how to create healthier habits that stick so that you can live a longer + happier life!

GET THE GUIDE HERE

Transcript

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Welcome to the find your strength podcast, where we'll embark on a transformative journey to help you discover your inner power and outer strength. I'm your host Mia Harris, a business owner and women's strength coach on a mission to help you learn how to fall in love with lifting weights, while also taking care of your mind, body and soul. I strongly believe it is much more empowering to focus on becoming your strongest self versus your smallest. In this podcast, we'll dive into the realms of movement, mindset and personal development to help you realize how truly capable you are in all aspects of life. Whether you're seeking to enhance your physical fitness, boost your mental and physical wellbeing, or simply just find your strength within, then you've come to the right place. Get ready to be inspired, motivated, and equipped with the tools you need in order to conquer life's obstacles in and out of the gym. Let's begin the journey to find your strength together. Welcome back to another episode of the Find Your Strength podcast where we will be talking about all things movement, mindset, and personal development so that you can become your strongest self physically, mentally, and emotionally. I'm your host Mia and today's episode is going to be a little bit different than what I've done in the past. Today's episode is going to be a little bit more raw and a little bit more real. I really just want to have an honest, candid conversation with you about turning 30 and Because your girl just turned 30 not too long ago. And I want to talk a little bit more about what that's looked like for me, how my views on my body and my health journey have evolved over the years, and the things that I'm choosing to carry with me into this next chapter. and also when I'm finally ready to leave behind in my 20s. So if you're in that transition too, or maybe you've already entered into your 30s and you can relate to this on another level, then this one's for you. So let's dive in. Now, let me just start by saying, you know, damn, 30 feels different. Not necessarily in a bad way, not necessarily in a way of, oh, I'm getting old, but in a way of, I feel like I know myself so much more better now And I don't have to pretend to be someone that I'm not. I feel like in my 20s, I spent so much time shapeshifting and molding and trying to fit in and just have people want me to be the person that they want me to be rather than showing up as my authentic self. I feel like a lot of my 20s, I spent so much time chasing a version of health and fitness that wasn't actually rooted in me. It was rooted in external validation from others. It was rooted in shrinking myself down, controlling everything that I did and everything that I ate, overachieving, trying to be the best at everything that I did. And always trying to be smaller, you know, always trying to look a certain way and always needing to earn rest or to prove something. And honestly, I'm exhausted just even thinking about it now. I feel like I just spent a lot of my 20s hustling. And as much as I am grateful for that era and the ability to do that during that time, I know that I can't continue on the same trajectory as And have it be sustainable for the long term. It's just, it's not sustainable. And speaking from someone who has experienced burnout so many times, I feel like I can't continue to do what I've always done if I want a different outcome. So hustling, hustling in all the ways, hustling to feel worthy, hustling to build a business, to be the strong one, to be the put together one, the one who had it figured all out. And spoiler alert, I didn't. And honestly, I feel like most of us don't, especially in our 20s. You know, that whole decade, I feel like was this big, messy classroom of unlearning everything. I thought when it came to, you know, health, fitness, success, and just feeling enough. You know, there was a time when I thought wellness meant tracking every calorie that you ate. There was a time when I thought wellness meant only eating clean foods and not partaking in consuming junk food. There was a time when I thought wellness meant working out seven days a week and taking no rest days. There was a time when I thought wellness meant fitting into your old skinny jeans that you had in high school. And I feel like throughout my 20s, I was really just so concerned about what I looked like and not actually how I felt. Because I can tell you throughout my entire 20s, I felt like hot garbage. I don't think there was a time when I ever felt good or safe within my body. Now I feel like I've made this shift to, yes, I still do obviously care about the way that I look, but I care so much more about how I feel. And I know that if I feel good, that will also shine from the inside out. So I feel like a lot of my 20s were, you know, just rooted in aesthetics and not actual resilience. And looking back now, it's wild because even though I was deep in the world of health and fitness, I was still I feel like I was so disconnected from my body. I was micromanaging it. I wasn't listening to it. I wasn't trusting it. And it's just wild to me that I went on as long as I did within that phase of my life. So I remember the number of summer shred plans that i started and i didn't finish i also remember the fat burners that i used to take i remember the stepping on the scale two three times a day and you know feeling like i'll be happy when i hit x weight and all of that just frustrates me so much because none of that stuff actually made me happy in reality actually made me feel more miserable and worse about myself Which is just, again, so crazy to see how things have shifted now that I'm in my 30s. You know, I've shifted a lot and I feel like here are some of the things that I'm leaving in my 20s and that are no longer going to serve me as I approach my 30s. And the first one being, you know, diet culture BS. You know, I'm just, I'm so done with diet culture, especially toxic diet culture. In the world of ozempic, in the world of fad diets, in the world of, you know, thin is in, I feel like this is all coming back again. And I'm just done with it. I'm done treating my body like it's a project to fix. I'm done with feeling guilty about the food that I want to consume. I'm done with skipping meals to be quote unquote good. and then binging later because I was starving. That cycle was such a vicious cycle that I was partaking in and I just felt like I was spinning my wheels and I couldn't get out of it. Now, I want real nourishment. I want food that fuels me, not punishes me. I want to consume things that make me feel good and that respect my body and how I feel. The next thing that I feel like I wanna leave in my 20s is obsessing over my body. And as someone that grew up in competitive dance, so a sport that really relied heavily on your external appearance and how you looked, man, when I tell you that mirrors give me PTSD now, I am not kidding. And here's the truth. My body has changed. It's changed so much since when I was 20 years old. And it will continue to change and that's okay. Our bodies are not meant to stay the same forever. And that doesn't make it wrong. I'm not meant to look like I'm in my early 20s forever I'm allowed to change I'm allowed to evolve you know I'm learning where to meet my body where she is and not where she once used to be I feel like this comparison game and always comparing to where we once were to where we're at now can be so detrimental to not only our mental health but also our physical health too it's like we're chasing something that's just not feasible or realistic and again i've evolved and matured so much within my body you know being a young teenage girl to being the woman that i am today and i think it's so beautiful to be able to evolve and step more into that womanhood so i am choosing to leave obsessively looking at myself in the mirror obsessively picking myself apart obsessively trying on clothes and seeing how they fit on my body in my 20s. We are so over that. The next thing that I am over is the over-exercising and under-recovering. You know, I used to think that if I wasn't killing myself in the gym, that it didn't count. And now, I train to feel good. I train to get stronger. I train to have energy. I train to live and make my life that much easier. Before, I just felt like my life revolved around fitness. And now, fitness revolves around my life. And I found this really good balance. And I think a lot of people, when I tell them that I work out two to three times a week, they're surprised to hear my answer. Because again, being in this industry and being in this field, I think people have a certain idea of what that should look like. And for me, this is what works for me. And this is what makes me feel good. I remember a time when I believe that cardio was the only way to work out. Running was the only modality that you could do if you wanted to be fit and lose weight. It was just more cardio, more sweat, more burn, and that was better. And no, that is not necessarily the case. If you follow me on any of my socials, you know that I say strength training is the gold standard if you want to maintain or gain muscle mass. Muscle mass is the key to longevity, and it's the key to living a greater quality and quantity of life. And I've also talked about this too. I am all for you partaking in other forms of movement. I never want to bash or discourage someone from wanting to partake in other forms of exercise. Yes, we should be looking to strength train at least two to three times a week. And then let's look to add other modalities of movement that bring you joy and that you actually love doing because when you love what you're doing, you're going to stick with it. Now, a very crucial part of every resistance training program is also rest and recovery. And I used to feel so guilty for resting. I used to feel so guilty for taking days off. And now I believe that rest is sacred. Rest is strength. I don't hustle for my health anymore. I choose to honor it. And recovery is, again, such a crucial piece of the puzzle when it comes to a well-balanced exercise and resistance training program. And oftentimes, I think there's this misconception that more is better, but when in reality, better is better. So I would rather focus on the quality of my sessions rather than the quantity. and just going in and half-assing them and not feeling super great during them and having like two to three kick-ass workouts per week that make me feel good, energized, and strong. So I am definitely leaving the over-exercising and under-recovering in my 20s and I'm really prioritizing rest, strength, and recovery as I approach my 30s. Now something that I am still actively working on and that isn't always the easiest for me to work through is is the people-pleasing and perfectionism tendencies. All throughout my 20s, I was constantly shapeshifting and molding so that I was liked, I was able to keep the peace, and I was able to just, like, not ruffle any feathers and cause any conflict. And what I recognized when I was going through these people-pleasing and perfectionism tendencies is that it was putting my own piece on the back burner because I was just prioritizing what everyone else wanted and not actually listening to what I wanted, which actually caused a lot of resentment within myself and my body. And it led to me hating what I was doing. And this could be things that I really did enjoy, but because... I was saying yes to things when I really wanted to say no, or when I was doing things that weren't in alignment with my core values. That's when I felt like, again, this misalignment within myself and this built up resentment inside. It truly was exhausting. And again, being a business owner, I think this is still something that I'm actively working through because the need to, you know, appeal to everyone, I think is so common in entrepreneurship. But at the end of the day, if we're appealing to everyone, then we're serving no one. And I have come to learn that and I've realized that I'm not going to be for everyone and that's okay. I know that I am going to be for some people and those will be the right people and those will be the clients that are in alignment with my core values and what I have to offer. So yeah, this one is tough. This one I am still actively working through and I feel like It's always a work in progress. We never just reach the finish line. It's never just like, oh, yep, reach that goal. Like I'm not a people pleaser anymore. I still notice some of these tendencies creep in and come up sometimes and I have to actively like think and stop myself and make sure that I'm acting in alignment with, you know, my values and what I really want, which means that might disappoint some people. And that is okay. So we are looking to leave the people pleasing and the perfectionism in our 20s and continue to actively work on becoming the person that we want to be in our 30s. Now, this next one, I have a long outstanding history with this next one. And that is with the scale, the dreaded scale. I remember in my 20s, you know, I would step on the scale like two to three times a day. And if the number went up, I would slash my calories and and go run another two hours on the treadmill to punish myself. And now I feel like I have a much more neutral relationship with the scale. It's not something that I utilize as often, but it is still something that I will utilize as a tool to kind of give me feedback. You know, I've come to this realization that The scale is just one measure of progress, and it's not the only measure of progress that we can use. Within my own coaching company and what I do with my clients, we like to focus on our energy levels, how we're feeling. Are we getting stronger? Are we feeling more confident? Are we feeling more capable? Are you setting boundaries? Are you prioritizing your healthy habits? There's so much more when it comes to progress and what that looks like. So with the scale it used to rule you know my day-to-day and it was something that just lived rent-free in my head and I've been able to break through that and just have more of like a neutral emotion towards it you know it's it's just a thing now it's not a reflection of my worth it's not a scoreboard for my value it's just a number and it's one that I simply don't need anymore But that's something that didn't happen overnight. And again, these are things that I've actively been working on, I'd say within the last four to five years of my 20s. And it's not just something that happened overnight. So I don't want you to think that this is easy by any means. However, it is so worth it. The next thing that I'm looking to leave in my 20s, and I kind of talked about this already, is hustle culture. You know, the constant need to grind and go and do more. I'm simply just over it. I really am. I am someone who has approached burnout. more times than i can count and i don't need to burn myself out to prove how passionate i am about what i do and i think again that just comes from like my type a ambitious driven personality of like always wanting to do well and perform well and it's like you know what like i am doing well i think i'm doing a lot better than i give myself credit for so we're gonna lean into that as uh we continue to evolve throughout our 30s The next thing that I really want to leave behind in my 20s is comparison, you know, especially on social media. And in a day and age where you really need social media, if you are a business owner, to promote and scale your business. And sometimes I really just wish I could throw my phone in the toilet. The chokehold that social media has over me sometimes is just not healthy. You know, everyone is on their own path. And mine... It's beautiful. It's messy and it's unfolding exactly how it's supposed to. And I just have to keep that as the forefront. So if you recognize yourself, you know, turning to social media and comparing yourself to these influencers that look like they have it all together and these they're going on these. extravagant vacations and buying these elaborate purchases and i just want to remind you that social media is not real social media is a highlight reel and we choose to show you the things that we want to show and i feel like i've tried to do a better job of showing up a little bit more authentically on instagram and social media when i am struggling However, I also too want to put boundaries in place for myself because not everyone needs to know all of my business and that's okay. Whereas before I was like an open book and I was allowing everyone to formulate and make their opinions on me. Now I'm like, you know what? I'm just going to protect myself a little bit. And if I want to share and if I feel like it's relatable, then I will. And also if I don't want to, that's okay. And I'm not going to feel compelled to do so. And last but not least... What I really want to drive home that I want to leave in my 20s and continue to work through in my 30s is constantly being at war with my body. And I felt like that's something that I battled throughout my entire 20s. You know, I'd always say things like, oh, my body hates me or why is my body working against me? And when in all reality, my body was just trying to protect me. You know, when things are off with our hormones, when things are off with our gut, when things are off with our nervous system, it's our body telling us that something's going on that we need to address. And of course, I just decided to ignore it. And if you ignore it for long enough, eventually, all of these flashing lights will start going off and your body's going to be like, um, hello, this is an emergency. You need to listen to me. So I've just finally come to the realization that I'm done fighting with my body. I'm done punishing her. And I've recognize that like my body is not the enemy my body is my home this is the only body that i'm gonna have for the rest of my life so i really should be taking the time to listen to it and take care of it not ignore it and as a woman and i know a lot of women listen to this podcast i feel like we have a hard time trusting ourselves and trusting our intuition and trusting our gut but when something feels off listen to yourself Don't let anyone tell you differently. You are the one having your experience in your body and you know what you're feeling. So don't let anyone tell you otherwise and lean into that. Because I can count the number of times that I have been gaslit in situations by certain practitioners about the symptoms or the feelings that I'm having and being told like, oh, you're just crazy or, oh, this is just a part of life or you're just going through a stressful period. It was like, nope, there was a lot more going on that they just didn't take the time to discuss with me. And unfortunately, that's just one of the flaws within our medical system. So as I enter my 30s, I am done being at war with my body and just appreciating the All that she can do and trusting in her when she tells me things. So just a recap of all of the things that I am choosing to leave in my 20s is the toxic diet culture BS, the obsessing over my body all the time, the over-exercising and under-recovering, the people-pleasing imperfectionism, the unhealthy relationship with the scale, hustle culture, comparison, and constantly being at war with my body. Now, I'm sure maybe you can relate to to one of those things maybe a few of those things but just know that we can change our outcome if we really want to it's just going to take some time and some work now moving on here's what I want to bring into my 30s because as I enter into this new decade I've come to recognize that I can't be doing the same things that I was doing in my 20s if I want a different outcome so I'm Thank you so much. It's not just all about having physical strength. It's also about the mental and emotional component as well. Having the strength to say no, having the strength to set boundaries, having the strength to act in alignment with your core values, to choose myself, to feel things deeply, and to not have to apologize for it. So that is something that I'm leaning into as I enter my 30s. Now, the next thing that I want to bring with me into my 30s is nourishment. And this can come from... food. This can come from rest. This can come from enjoyment and not restricting myself. I feel like a lot of my 20s, you know, I just set these rules for myself, these food rules or like these enjoyment rules and that I wasn't allowed to have fun or feel these good things. It was all just about like putting my head down, putting in the work. And like I said, as much as I'm grateful for my ability and capacity to be able to do that, it's like, what is a life if you're not enjoying it, right? We're on this earth for such a short period of time. And if you're not taking the time to smell the roses, then what are we doing here? We got to have fun along the way as well. So just bringing more enjoyment into my 30s and doing things that fill up my cup and not allowing myself to feel all the good things. The next thing that I want to bring with me into my 30s is confidence. And confidence is something that I've had to build up over time. It's not something that just comes to you and as much as people tell me oh my goodness you're so confident you know you show up online and you're always so confident yes because that's what I want you to believe and I've worked on it right confidence is something that comes from within it comes from proving to yourself that you can do the things that you set out to do you know showing up time after time even when you don't want to that's where confidence comes from and it doesn't come from compliments it doesn't come from numbers but it comes from integrity and being in alignment with the things that you set out to do. And when you say you're going to do something and you fulfill that, that builds confidence in yourself. And this is something that I work a lot on with my clients. And when they're showing up for themselves, when they're doing hard things, when they are able to do something that they once thought they weren't capable of doing, that builds confidence. And this is another reason that I love strength training so much because it can be the catalyst for so many things. And Again, I'm a firm believer that what we do in the gym does translate into our everyday lives. So ladies, if we want more confidence, we got to start showing up for ourselves more. We got to start following through with our commitments and proving to ourselves that we are worthy of the things that we set out to do. Now, this next one is something that I feel like I've been actively working on within the last few years of my health journey. And it's just having a relationship with my body that's rooted in trust. You know, I talk to a lot of people and a lot of people tell me like, you're very self-aware, you're very in tune with your body and its signals. And it's like, yes, because I've taken the time to really just like sit down and listen to it. You know, before it was all rooted in control and fear. And now it's like, no, I trust this. I listen, I ask what she needs, and I don't override her cues for some arbitrary plan. You know, sometimes things don't always go the way that I plan. And sometimes I have to revert from that plan. And that's okay. Because by not listening to myself and my body, I'm just doing a disservice for myself in the future. So this is something that I've recognized to be so crucial and also giving myself grace and compassion on. Now, something else that I want to bring into my 30s is this idea of slowness or softness. You know, I used to fill my schedule to the brim every single day. And if there was a free minute, I would fill it with something productive. And now I just really crave, you know, having slower mornings, longer walks, and just some quiet time throughout my day as well. You know, doesn't have to be a huge time commitment, but maybe that means like setting five minutes aside to go stand on your back porch and just stare at the sun. Or maybe that means like setting time aside to go for a walk outside and get some fresh air. Again, it doesn't need to be a huge time commitment. And also just know that you don't need to be productive all of the time. Something that I've come to recognize is that I really just want to feel my life and be really present within it and not just rush through it all the time. And that's something that I feel like happens all throughout my 20s. It's like I blinked and now my 20s are gone and I don't remember anything that happened throughout it because I was just so constantly living in overdrive and go, go, go mode. So we're going to bring some slowness and some softness into our days moving forward. And another thing that I want to bring forward that I kind of already talked is this idea of joy is medicine and you know i really used to believe that i had to earn my joy and earn my rest and earn my fun because it was all about work and if i wasn't working then i wasn't being productive and it's like now i want to prioritize laughter i want to prioritize dancing in my kitchen i want to prioritize dinner dates with my girlfriends that's health too Having fun and enjoying your life is just as important within your health and fitness journey than the food that you eat and the exercise that you do. So we're going to lean into more joy moving forward. And the last one that I think is so important and that doesn't get talked about enough is this idea of community and being a part of something that fulfills you and makes you feel supported. You know, I think it's so crucial when women lift each other up and support one another it's important to be around people who see your heart and not just your hustle and who clap for you when you win and also hold space for you when you fall apart you know that energy is unmatched and this is a big part of why i run my group fitness coaching programs and it's because being surrounded by other like-minded individuals who want you to win and want you to do well and support you along your journey i think is just an unmatched feeling because you know i've talked about this with a few friends Being a woman in my 30s, sometimes it can just feel really lonely and it can be really hard to make new friends and meet new people. So being a part of a community that makes you feel seen, heard, and celebrated, I think is crucial to your success. Okay, so recapping all the things that I want to bring into my 30s is strength in all forms, nourishment, confidence that comes from within, a relationship with my body that's rooted in trust, bringing in some slowness and softness into my days, using joy as medicine, and just having a community that makes me feel supported and uplifted. And maybe most of all, I'm taking with me maybe a sense of wholeness, you know, that I don't need fixing, that I don't need to prove anything, that I am already enough the way that I am. And I've continued to work on myself and continue to grow throughout the years. And I'm just so proud of the person that I have become. Although I recognize I'm not perfect, however, I do hold myself accountable and I do recognize when I make mistakes and I try to make it right. So turning 30, like I said, hasn't necessarily made me feel older. It's just made me feel maybe a little bit more like wiser and a little bit more me and i'm still growing every single day i'm still unfolding and finding out new things about myself and what i like and what i don't like and what i want to change and improve upon and i feel like i'm just doing it with so much more grace and compassion for myself now so i feel like my 30s are just about coming home to myself they're about being rooted embodied and present they're about lifting heavy and also living fully and loving myself in every season that I go through. If you're in this season too, I want you to know you don't have to carry the weight of your 20s with you, pun intended. You can set them down. You can choose a new story. You can define strength on your terms now. And if no one has told you this today, you're allowed to evolve. You're allowed to outgrow the old versions of yourself. That's not failure. That's growth. And that's the magic of becoming and healing. So I Here's to us, to the women we're becoming, to the strength with our softness, to showing up for ourselves, not perfectly, but powerfully. I see you. I'm with you. And if no one's told you lately, you're doing so much better than you think you are. Wow, that was one of my longest solo episodes that I've ever done. And if you've made it this far, I just want to say thank you so much for being here. This episode was really raw and vulnerable for me, and I'm not sure how I feel about it, but growth doesn't happen inside our comfort zones. So we got to do the things that scare us. So we're putting it out there, and I'm hoping that something within this episode resonated with you. And I'd love for you to share it with a friend, post it to your stories, or just send me a DM and let me know what hit home for you. I love hearing from you and connecting. All right, squad. So that wraps up today's episode on the find your strength podcast. Now, if you enjoyed this episode, be sure to share it to your story on social media and tag me at the strength girl. So I know that you tuned in to today's episode. Also be sure to share it with a friend who could benefit from this conversation. The more people we have weighing in on these conversations, the better. So thank you for joining me on today's episode and we will catch you in the next one.