The Midlife Marriage

Episode 44: Why You Keep Missing Each Other Emotionally: The Role of Co-Regulation

• Carrie Cohen

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In this episode, I’m diving into something that can completely change how you understand emotional dynamics in your relationships—co-regulation. Ever felt a shift in mood between you and your partner and wondered what caused it? That’s your nervous systems communicating, and it plays a huge role in how we connect (or disconnect) emotionally.

Co-regulation is the unconscious process where our nervous systems influence each other, creating a shared emotional experience. It can be as simple as a laugh, a calming touch, or even moments of tension. I’ll break down how co-regulation starts before we’re even born, and how it continues to shape how we relate to others, especially in romantic relationships.

In this episode, I’ll share:

  • Why co-regulation might be the missing piece when it comes to feeling emotionally disconnected from your partner.
  • How understanding this process can help you and your partner stop missing each other emotionally and start fostering emotional safety.
  • Practical ways to improve your emotional regulation and create a more fulfilling, harmonious relationship.

I’ve seen how co-regulation can be transformative in relationships—helping couples move from frustration and miscommunication to deeper connection. I’ll show you how becoming aware of this powerful process can change your relationship dynamics for the better.

Key Takeaways:

  • Co-regulation begins early—literally in the womb—and shapes our relationships throughout life.
  • In romantic partnerships, co-regulation can either create calm and connection or escalate tension and disconnection.
  • I’ll walk you through strategies to self-soothe, regulate your emotions, and build stronger connections with your partner.

If you’re ready to stop missing each other emotionally and start creating a deeper, healthier bond, this episode is for you. Tune in and learn how understanding co-regulation can transform your relationship. 

Thank you for listening to The Midlife Marriage!