The Midlife Marriage

Episode 45: Letting Love In: The High Price of Being a 'Strong, Independent Woman'

• Carrie Cohen

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In this episode, I’m getting real about the high cost of being a strong, independent woman in love. As a high-achieving woman myself, I know how it feels to take charge, handle everything, and wear that independence as a badge of honor. But here’s the thing: that fierce independence might be the very thing standing in the way of deeper connection.

Why We Struggle to Let Love In

Let’s face it—being successful and independent can sometimes create emotional walls that make it hard to let someone else in. We’re so used to handling it all that asking for or accepting help feels foreign, even weak. In this episode, I break down:

  • The struggle with vulnerability: How letting someone care for you doesn’t mean losing control—it means inviting more love and connection into your life.
  • Why love languages matter: Understanding that what you view as independence may be rejecting your partner’s bid for connection.

The Hidden Cost of Always Being in Control

If you’re always in “do it all” mode, it’s easy to push your partner away without even realizing it. I’ll be sharing how my own desire for control created emotional distance and what I did to change it. Here’s what we’ll cover:

  • Why self-sufficiency leads to isolation: How our need to manage everything creates emotional distance from our partners.
  • The importance of interdependence: How accepting even small gestures—like letting your partner open a door or carry the load—can strengthen your bond.

The Shift from Independence to Intimacy

I know firsthand how scary it can be to let go of control and lean into interdependence. But true intimacy requires letting someone in, and I’ll show you how to do it without sacrificing your sense of strength or independence. We’ll explore:

  • Rebuilding emotional safety: Simple ways to start reconnecting emotionally with your partner.
  • Letting go of rigid routines: Why discipline and structure may be getting in the way of spontaneity and connection in your relationship.

If you’ve ever felt like your independence is blocking love, this episode is for you. Let’s learn how to balance success with vulnerability and build deeper, more fulfilling relationships.

Tune in now—this one’s going to hit home!



If you want to take advantage of my special gift offer mentioned at the end of the episode - email me at CC@carriecohencoaching.com and I'll send you my Menu of Regulation Resources. 

Get out of your head, into your body and feel the love that's present in your marriage: https://www.carriecohencoaching.com/BodyWise

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