Accepting What Is: 5 Steps to Embracing Unmet Expectations | Ep #20

In this episode, I share a personal story of something I worked to achieve for 9 months… something I really wanted… only to have it all fall apart. At first sight, it looked tragic and sad. But in time, I learned that things were actually falling into place. There was a deep and meaningful experience I was having that offered me so much more than the experience I hoped for. And it changed my life path. It clarified the direction I needed to go in. It called me out for playing small. It showed me the role my faith played in how I chose to live my life.

God’s voice was loud, so I finally heard it. Not that God was yelling at me… but maybe calling for me.

Once I accepted what was… everything around me changed. I saw more clearly what was right in front of me. And I learned how to accept what is, rather than wish for what isn’t. I learned to cope with disappointment and let go of unmet expectations. I also learned that when things aren’t going the way I intended, it must mean there’s a better way… one that serves my highest good, even if I can’t see what that is quite yet.

In this episode, we discussed a 5-step process that led me to this place of acceptance:

1. Pause. Stop and silence your thoughts. Stay in the pause for just long enough to see what is happening around you.
2. Define it. Name it. Put form around the experience. Whatever is happening, encapsulate it so it is more manageable and easier to accept.
3. Ask it why it is here. What is it trying to teach you? What is the message you need to hear that it is communicating to you?
4. Practice acceptance and gratitude. Simultaneously accept and be grateful for the experience you’re having. Gratitude opens our hearts. Gratitude takes us out of confusion and victimhood. It’s a powerful tool.
5. Surrender to what IS happening and let go of whatever you thought should happen. This is easier said than done. Our ego gets a stronghold on something, and it doesn’t let go easily. But the sooner we accept what is, and let go of resisting it, the less we suffer.

It is said that pain is inevitable in life. Suffering is optional. That is so true! We all have painful experiences. No one is exceptional or gets a free pass around that. But our suffering comes when we won’t accept what is. Especially if “what is” is unacceptable! But accept we must if we are to live free and true and authentic.

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