Whimsy & Woe
If your moral character is flimsy
Or your wit be rather slow,
Oh dare not read these tales of whimsy
For often do they end in woe.
Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze.
Episodes
29 episodes
A Brief History of the Baldersquash Medal
A Brief History of the Baldersquash MedalLegend has it that, one day in early 1894, Dr. Heinrich Hoffman hearda knock at his door in Frankfurt, Germany. On his porch he found asingle chicken, holding in its beak what appe...
•
7:06
The Phone Call
The Phone CallOne day after school I came home to seeA note by the phone addressed to me:“God called this afternoon for you.Call Him back at 555-4692.”Hmmm, I thought, this is mighty queer.He and I haven’t...
•
2:12
My Father to Save
My Father to Save“In the end it is you who must stand alone,”Said the Wizard whose wisdom was widely known.“Your father—the King—has been brutally slain,But wallow not in your sorrow and pain.Instead form a crew o...
•
5:17
Bailey O'Bannon
Bailey O'BannonBailey O’Bannon hated all that was green.“Of that color I am not so keen,”She told her parents in a fit of rage,Using words inappropriate for one of her age.“I must rid the world of that heinous...
•
4:23
The Bear in the Boat
The Bear in the BoatThe bear in the boatCouldn’t float.His body weightWas too great,And he started to sinkIn a wink...Watch on
•
1:41
Mystery Poem
Mystery PoemOh, when did she do it?And what did she do?For whom did she do it?And which of us knew?Where did he hide it?And how was it hid?From whom did he hide it,Wherever he did?...Wa...
•
1:38
Family Rock
Family RockMy mother drives a hot rod car;Her Christian name is Millie.She prefers a Fender for guitarWhen she riffs that rockabilly.Now Daddy is the rhymin’ guy;We call him Master Pap.Hip-hop is his c...
•
2:10
The Contraption
The ContraptionOh, what a contraption! What a machine!I drop in a legume and out comes a Bean.In goes a femur and out pops a Bone.It makes something Bigger after it’s grown.But the Best thing of all—you’ll surely ...
•
1:37
Beyond the Gate
Beyond the GateAt the Gate, there stood a manWho wore a uniform of gray.A stack of papers in his hand,He asked me, “Will you pass this way?”I replied to him, “Oh, kindly guard,I do so wish this way to go.<...
•
2:06
Not for Naught
Not for NaughtNot for naught did I scale the great wall of cheese,But in vain did I swim the river of peas.Not for naught have I trained this rabbit of yore,But in vain has he suffered the rigors of war.Not for na...
•
1:41
The One-Man Band
The One-Man BandWhile I can make all kinds of noise,It’s ’specially fun to burp.And when I’ve got some extra time,I also like to slurp...Watch on
•
1:35
Jabber-Not
Jabber-Not’Twas not brillig, and thus no slithy tovesDid gyre and gimble in the wabe.Not quite mimsy were the borogovesAnd nary a mome rath even tried to outgrabe.So we—the Jabberwock and I—Decided to end ...
•
1:54
I Like the Girl
I Like the GirlI like the girl, and she likes me,But all I feel is misery.So just you think how much worse it would be,If I liked her, and she didn’t like me.Or if she liked me, but I was turned into a tree......
•
1:30
Daddy, Oh Daddy!
Daddy, Oh Daddy!“Daddy, oh Daddy!A monster, I fearIs here in my roomHiding ever so near.”“Do not worry, my son,”Said my Daddy to me,“For a thing like a monsterI surely don’t see.”Out came t...
•
2:42
The Great Philosopher
The Great Philosopher“Ignore the forest for the trees,”Thus spoke Calamaties.“And do unto others,As they do to their mothers.Sleep not for lack of trust,And mingle only when ye must.For life is but a slice...
•
1:32
Home Above the Range
Home Above the RangeOh, give me a skyWhere the buffalo fly,Where the deer and the antelope soar.Where seldom is heard the song of a bird...Watch on
•
1:26
The Road Well Traveled
The Road Well TraveledI took the road more traveled by,And though the path was often dense,I’m thankful that I was not shy,For pilgrims many happened by...Watch on
•
1:25
Mudshakes by Mikey
Mudshakes by MikeyStep right up!Come one, come all.Grab a cupOf the Original.We’ve got Mikey’s Mudshakes here for sale,Made by the famous Mikey Moran,Professor of Mud at the College of Yale,Formerl...
•
2:10
'Twas for You
'Twas for You’Twas for you that I butchered the beautiful beast,And for you that I dueled with Sir Andrew the Least.For you did he fight me with anger so keen,So for you did I swallow the magical bean...Watch ...
•
1:33
A Rope Made of Soap
A Rope Made of SoapA rope made of soap is too slimy,And a muffin made of dirt is too grimy.A marshmallow car might be squishy,But surely a chair built of cod would be fishy.But then, taking this even further yet,<...
•
1:55
A Good Morning
A Good MorningEach morning I wake up a bit too grumpy,Because a pillow filled with gravel is too bumpy.And my bathroom faucet cannot make me clean,Since it only brings me lukewarm gasoline.I brush my teeth with su...
•
1:54
The Beast in the Cave
The Beast in the CaveThe beast in the caveDidn’t shave.His beard grew in sizeUp o’er his eyes,And his whiskers grew downTo the ground.He cried, “Woe is me …I can’t see!”On a stone he did tripAn...
•
1:30
The Story of Salmon Delicious
The Story of Salmon DeliciousThere was never a fish so ambitiousAs the one they called Salmon Delicious.“If I must be eaten,” he told a friend,“In the mouth of the King will I meet my end.”So Salmon swam all a...
•
2:39