I'd love to hear from you! You can connect with me in the following ways:
Instagram: @balancedlivingwithadhd
Email: jennifer@jenniferwatts.ca
Website: www.balancedlivingwithadhd.com
I'd love to know if there's something you want to hear more about or if you want to let me know about your own experiences with ADHD and weight loss.
I'd love to hear from you! You can connect with me in the following ways:
Instagram: @balancedlivingwithadhd
Email: jennifer@jenniferwatts.ca
Website: www.balancedlivingwithadhd.com
I'd love to know if there's something you want to hear more about or if you want to let me know about your own experiences with ADHD and weight loss.
Hey there, how's it going? I hope you're having a great day, wherever you are and whatever day it is. It's mid December right now and I'm taking a break from gingerbread houses to record this podcast. So today we are going to be talking about awareness. This will be the second in the series of four talking about My calm method for weight loss with ADHD.
So awareness, there's really sort of, in my opinion, in the way that I look at it, there are four main kind of components of where I really think it's important to develop awareness when it comes to just your daily life, but really in particular to weight loss. And so we're going to dive into those. The first one that I want to talk about is body awareness, or what you might call introception.
I always mix up these words and. interchange them between introception and proprioception, but they're kind of the same concept. But introception really talks about your internal awareness when it comes to your body. And a lot of this I've learned from looking at the work of Roberto Olivardia. He's a psychologist, I think he's like an instructor at Harvard Medical School, something like that.
But he connects a lot of this the interceptive awareness the potential weight management issues that people with ADHD might experience. He's a specialist in eating disorders, I believe for men and boys, but a lot of these concepts have come from him. And this is where I've connected a lot of it to with regards to the interception.
And so what that really is, is just your perception of the sensations within your body. So, this would be things that we've talked about before, like hunger, satiety, thirst other functions. Like, all of those types of things. Like the physical sort of manifestation, those sensations in your body that are telling you that, You should be doing something, you know, like eating or drinking.
And so, as ADHDers, we tend to be more sort of externally oriented. And you might recognize this in the way that you would seek stimulation. So, like, we recognize cues or indications of things based on what's going on around outside of us. So, like, for instance, when it comes to eating, rather than noticing a feeling in your stomach that it's growling or that you feel a little like your energy is lower, so maybe you're hungry, You might walk by a restaurant, or you might look at the time and think, Oh shoot, I'm supposed to eat.
And that might be, before you recognize the cue in your body, you would have an external indication about eating. Or even just like a desire to do something with your hands or like the crunch of something would drive that prior to the drive from inside your body or the recognition from inside your body that you're actually hungry.
And so this kind of fuels that disconnect for us of being able to really recognize. What our bodies needs are, particularly when it comes to like nutrition and that type of thing and that in turn can end up going against our goals if we have a goal of weight loss and we need to pay attention to our hunger and our satisfaction, but we have a bit of a disconnect there and then that.
makes it, naturally, if we don't pay attention to this, it can make it a little bit harder for us to consistently be trying to reach our goals. So that's where the awareness comes in, is trying to develop the awareness around that. It's, a lot of it is just being able to recognize what works well in your body.
So for example, if you think, if you've noticed before, like, I feel good when I have a smoothie because it has, you know, fruit, vegetables, protein, all that kind of stuff in it. And then if you had the natural recognition that like, when I have smoothies all the time, I feel really good and I have energy and that you would be more likely to do that consistently.
Well, people with ADHD, we kind of struggle to make that connection. So the cause and effect. That would, somebody might naturally recognize and then be able to turn that into a habit. We just don't really have that connection between the cause and effect quite as easily as somebody else might. So, it's kind of harder to become effectively aware of what feels good and what that sensation is, or noticing, like, that you're missing a negative sensation with something.
And so, yeah, this can affect our future food choices, so if we aren't, like, regularly picking up on it, it's just harder to maintain or to repeat good choices. And so, the key in this case is learning to notice and then differentiate. Because, especially when it comes to us being more naturally externally oriented, you kind of need to notice two things and do something about it.
And that is When it comes to food, for example, number one, am I hungry? And is this motivated by something external? So Am I actually hungry? Like, can I stop for a second and feel in my body? Do I notice the actual sensation of hunger? Which, everybody's different, you'll have to learn, you'll end up learning what those cues are for yourself.
And, did this hunger feeling, is it actually driven by my body? Or, was it something outside? Like, am I at my friend's house and they have a bowl of chips on the counter? And so then I just assumed I was hungry. Or, am I actually hungry? So, these intro ception, the intro ception concept, I mean, it doesn't just affect your hunger and your satiety and your thirst and that type of stuff.
It affects things like sleep too, which we'll talk about once we get to the lifestyle component. But even things like needing to go to the washroom. Like, I, this is, I, I had no idea about the whole intro ception thing. And I remember, This would have been a few years ago. When you have young kids, you know how it's kind of like the witching hour, like when you work all day, the kids are at school, and they have activities, and then it's dinner time, and it's like the most flustering, kind of stressful, overwhelming time of the day for a lot of families, and it for sure was for us.
And I remember, like, scrambling to make dinner, and kids are crying, and this is going on, and I was, I mean, besides the fact that it was just, like, an overwhelming time of the day, I remember feeling so, like, frustrated and upset, and I was like, I don't understand why I'm, like, feeling this way, like, abnormally, like, just really, like, lit up, and, I finally, like, stopped for a moment, and realized, like, I just really needed to pee.
And it sounds funny now, but for real, like, in the moment I was so disconnected from my body because you're so elevated from other things going on in your life and, like we talked about, externally motivated, like only paying attention to what's going on around me and not even paying attention to myself until it gets to the point where I'm like There's physical sensations happening in my body and I don't understand, I don't understand what's going on.
And you know, it kind of comes out in these feelings, like where you get like over the top. And all it was that I just needed to give myself like a minute to go to the washroom, but I just didn't notice it. And, and I realized that this had happened to me a lot in my life, but I had no idea. Well, because I wasn't diagnosed at that point with ADHD, but also because I had no concept that there was sort of this disconnect between my mind and my body sensation.
So anyhow, that's just a good example for you of The interoception. It's such a hard word to say interoceptive Awareness. So yes, so that covers that whole body awareness component. So that's number one number two in terms of awareness That I see as being really important in your weight loss journey is your existing patterns So when I'm talking about this, I mean, what are the things that are driving your behaviors?
So Maybe it's when, like, when are things typically going, like, off the rails for you in your day to day life or Yeah, I guess in terms of being externally motivated, like, what are the things that happen on a day to day basis, week to week basis, whatever the case may be, that affects how you do things?
So, this is harder to explain without an example, but I know for me, One of my biggest behaviors that was really a problem for me was eating in the evenings. Like, any time where I was, I mean, a lot of it would be emotionally driven, but I felt like there was something wrong with me. I'm just like out of control, like every night.
After dinner, or even after, like, the kids have gone to bed, which is like, would be really hard I was just like, all I could think about was going into the pantry and eating, like, whatever was there. If it was chocolate chips, if it was, like, the kids candy, if it was chips, if it was just anything. It was just like, I had this immense drive to go into the pantry and just eat.
And I had, like, I knew that the pattern existed, obviously, because I was doing it every night, but I had no awareness of what was actually driving that, and so This is something that we can work on and work backwards to identify, like, you know, It's as simple as, like, I was working with a therapist at some point and this was kind of how I started to work on developing awareness around this, and again, this is pre diagnosis, but it was, it was just a matter of, like, Being able to stop myself in the moment, not actually stop the behavior, but just to recognize like, Oh, I'm doing this again.
And maybe try to think, what am I feeling right now? Or, what was happening that preceded this? Or, even going back earlier in the day. And, so if you don't have an awareness of the patterns that you're doing, Even simple ones, like, I'm trying to think of like a smaller example, like, maybe maybe you work from home, and in the afternoon, you always notice that you take a break to do something at, say, 2.
45, I don't know, but then you always walk by a cupboard where you know there's like, I don't know, jujubes or something, and so you always grab the jujubes, but like, you don't really have like, A recognition of this pattern, but that pattern is driving the behavior. So you can't change what you don't acknowledge.
And so the awareness around this is just stopping to notice. Just notice. where these things are happening for you, so that you have a shot at saying like, Hey, maybe, maybe I don't like doing this, or maybe this isn't making me feel well later, or maybe I want to do something in this time and I'm not doing it.
So yeah, just a recognition of your existing patterns and starting to develop the awareness around that is going to be really helpful for you if you want to make any kind of changes going forward. So the third component of awareness is your thoughts and your emotions. We, I know that you know this, we are very prone to emotional dysregulation as people with ADHD.
And this actually ties into the introception because we, we actually sometimes might not notice the internal cues for feelings either. So like for instance, maybe sadness, like maybe you don't notice because there's very physical things that happen in your body. When you're having certain feelings, and if we don't have a notice we don't have a natural, like, inclination to notice this when it's just kind of creeping in, there's just an inkling of it and then it kind of gets bigger, or bigger, and if we We don't notice it, we don't sort of assess it, and then it can escalate and become like almost explosive, and then all of a sudden you're like, you don't know how you got there, you're just like, I'm having these crazy feelings and I don't know how I ended up here.
But it's a lot of it just because you didn't kind of recognize that. emotion in your body when it was just, you know, kind of creeping in there. And so I find that like when this with this whole concept, even just somebody saying like, what are you feeling? It actually kind of like set me off a little bit and made me frustrated because it's not easy to just.
Naturally identify your feelings and, you know, the physical aspect of that, especially. So I think one thing that we need to do when it comes to our thoughts and emotions, especially because these are a lot of what goes into the last thing we talked about, which is what's driving your behaviors, because a lot of it can be your feelings.
You don't recognize the feeling, and yet the feeling is driving you to certain actions. And so I think that like, One of the best things you can do is try to learn and recognize, like, what are the stories that you're telling yourself, especially about yourself, because our beliefs are so, like, our self, like, our beliefs about our self, our self concept, our self concept was, like, the biggest thing that I realized had affected my life so deeply with ADHD, but our beliefs about our self are, like, so deeply shaped by what we were told, Especially when we were little, and that, again, yeah, that affects your self concept and how you move through the world, and what do you think you're capable of, what do you think, oh, that's just the way I am and that can cause you to naturally believe that you are the problem.
Or you are this type of person or that type of person rather than a circumstance you're in. So, I'm trying to think of an example for this one as well. Well diets, like diets and trying to, you know, weight loss programs. Maybe you, cough cough cough Maybe you tried to follow some plan. You had a friend who, Oh, I did this diet, or I worked with this weight loss program, and they, they were really successful.
And so you tried to do the same thing because you knew your friend did it, and it just, like, did not pan out for you. And then it added onto the list of diets that didn't work for you. And your first thought is that you're the problem. There's something wrong with you. You just can't, like, stick to anything.
Once again, you're just a failure. But actually, you just have this self concept that you're the problem, which is built upon years and years and years of the, you know, the effects of your ADHD. Leading you to think that it's not the circumstances, like, you don't even consider that actually, like, just following some prescripted, prescribed, like, diet plan that doesn't factor into your life at all, doesn't consider your lifestyle, doesn't consider your behaviours, none of that stuff, it's just not gonna work for you.
And yet, our natural inclination is to think that we're the problem. And so, this has a lot to do with the stories that you've been telling yourself since you're little, because of what you've been told that you are. And that's where a lot of just, like, learning to develop the awareness around your thoughts, your beliefs, your emotions can really, really have an impact on your ability to develop good habits.
Get into good patterns and rhythms and routines that are going to lead you to success. So it's so, so important that you start to recognize and learn about your emotions and how they're affecting you on a day to day basis. So the fourth component of awareness that's really important is recognizing your own strengths and your likes and your dislikes, because it's so important to see what you're good at so that you can incorporate it and run with it in whatever it is that you want to do.
So what are the things that you like to do in terms of habits? What are the foods that you really like to eat? Where are the areas in life that you really thrive? And if you don't know, like I know for me, I like honestly didn't know. I don't even know what I like. If somebody would be like, what do you like to do?
That's like the worst question. What do you like to do for fun? I don't know. So, like, this can take some time. You need to develop that awareness and figure out, what do I actually like? Like, do I just, like, eat these things because that's what's there? Or what's easy? Or what I've, you know, like, that's, these are the only things my kids will eat, so this is what I make all the time?
Or do you actually like it? Because a lot of that, like, recognizing the things that you like and incorporating that into what you do is gonna for sure make a difference in whether you can be successful in something. And those things probably weren't considered in other programs that you did which might have been why you weren't able to stick with it, not because you were the problem, but because it wasn't tailored to what works for you.
So, and what you don't like. Like, maybe you don't like chicken and broccoli. Or maybe you don't like I know a lot of people don't, like, naturally like high protein foods, but maybe you don't like, like, just recognize things that you don't like and don't try to force yourself to stick with that kind of stuff because that is, like, gross and not a way to live.
And for these kind of things, it's totally okay to ask other people, like, especially when it comes to not so much what you like and dislike, that's up to you. That's totally your say. In terms of what are your strengths? Like, it's okay, it feels weird, but it's really okay to ask people, like, and it can make you feel pretty amazing.
Because other people probably recognize amazing things about you that you don't see about yourself. So, if you have a partner or spouse, ask them, like, what do you think I'm really good at? Like, what, you know, and or what do you think, like, when you, what do you notice that I, where are the ways that I kind of get tripped up, or that type of stuff?
Because identifying your strengths. Can really help you to build out a program or, or something that you want to do that actually incorporate. It's the areas that you're really good, like, do you love to well, like me, I love to bake. I don't know if I would call that a strength, but like, I, like, I love figuring out ways to like make something like more high protein or high fiber.
And then I can make those things and it feels pretty awesome to like do that and then find a way to incorporate it into what I eat. Or maybe you. I don't know, maybe you're like let's see, maybe you just love riding your bike, maybe or you're really good at I don't know, see, like, I can't even, I can't even think of my own likes and dislikes, so, well, I can now, but I, like, before I really couldn't, so it's hard.
Oh, so hard for me off the top of my head to think of like what might be somebody else's strength. But all I'm saying is that it's so important for you to recognize these things, learn these things about yourself so that you can incorporate them into what you're going to do. So that's going to take awareness.
So those, do you kind of see how all of these components matter in building out Your routines and habits and, and, and a plan for yourself going forward. You see how these are so important. Because you can't just disregard yourself. Like you and what you think and feel, what you like, what you don't like, all of this stuff.
What are, what are your behaviors? So, so, so important. In moving forward in a way that works for you, that you're going to be invested in, like you're actually going to want to put your time into it and actually like it, because this is your life, like this is your life, this is not, you're going to put your life on hold and just eat chicken and broccoli for a year and like lose weight or something.
This is your life, and you've got to do it in a way that feels right for you. And what's kind of, like, so let's talk about how do we develop this really quickly because it's kind of interesting that when you look up, like, what's the resolution to this? What's the resolution to trying to develop your introception?
What's the resolution to recognizing your behaviors, your thoughts, your emotions, and learning about your strengths and dislikes? What do they say? Healthy eating, exercise. mindfulness. And so it's such a catch 22 because it's like doing these things helps you to build your self concept, helps you to like learn about your, how to become aware of your internal feelings.
It helps you with your introception. But those, these awareness things are also kind of like the things that are holding you back from doing. those behaviors on a regular basis. So I think this is where the pattern interrupt is so necessary. So I'll give you a few tips of things that I find are really helpful for trying to develop this awareness.
And just keep in mind, like, just like anything else, like, if you want to make change in this area, you have to be willing to do things differently. Because the same old, same old is just not going to work for you. Of course you can keep some of the things that you like to do, but you have to be willing to be not great at something at first, which is, I know it's really hard for us, but having like an open mind about things, willing to have a beginner mindset about things is so important.
If you want to see success in this area. So here's a few things that I can suggest. So. pausing throughout the day to just ask yourself, like, what's going on? What am I feeling physically? Like, just from my head to my toe, am I feeling anything? Like, does anything hurt? Like, that's more external, but I just mean, like do I need to go to the washroom?
Am I actually hungry? Am I thirsty? Do I feel like I need a rest? Like any of those things. Like just, even if you have to set a timer in your phone. I've done this before and it, it sounds crazy. And it's super helpful. Like, I set timers throughout the day. I can't even remember how many times I set it for.
It was probably like six times throughout the day where the timer would go off. And then I would just be, this is Jen's time to stop and be like, what's happening inside my body? What do I feel? What am I thinking right now? Am I feeling anxious? Oh, I wonder why I'm feeling anxious. So just setting off these cues, it's okay to need a reminder.
And so if you can pause throughout the day and just take a little bit of stock about what's happening inside of you, that's going to start to propel you towards being able to recognize those things. Another thing is journaling, and I was super resistant to this one too for a long time, but I find it super helpful at the end of the day, even if it's like just a few minutes, to just recognize.
Stop and write out. It doesn't have to look pretty. It doesn't have to be anything, but just like do a little bit of a brain dump and just write out. Things and this is where you're going to start to develop that awareness muscle of like paying attention to what you're actually thinking and feeling. So just write out anything.
It doesn't have to be anything in particular. I love lists so I actually journal it like a to do list. It looks like a to do list but that's just like random thoughts and that is a super helpful way to start to be aware of what you're thinking and feeling. Another thing is just like, it's kind of the same as that pause, but if you're about to have a meal, it's so helpful to take just a few seconds to take a break.
couple deep breaths and just, just kind of ground yourself and realize, like, or recognize, like, what are you feeling in your body? How hungry are you? All that type of stuff. And that is actually going to just, like, naturally make you slow down a little bit when you're eating because, like, we've talked about before, we're, like, fast eaters.
But even just giving yourself a few seconds to just, like, Have some awareness of what's going on inside of you. You're here. You're about to eat. It's really going to help you even just with that little meal there and that build that muscle, like I said, of, of building up little bits of awareness about yourself.
So it's all really. individualized what's going to actually work for you for developing this awareness and that's where of course working with a coach can come in but it can just be a matter of you trying to identify ways that you can start to recognize this. Find an accountability partner if you have somebody else who deals with this or if you have a friend or your spouse or partner to just say like I really want to work on this thing can you ask you know remind me about these things or ask me how I'm doing ask me how I'm feeling.
And then you can start to build that muscle. So this has gone on way longer than I intended to. It's such a vague concept and I apologize for that, but it is like, it's so important and because it's so vague and so individualized, that's why I think it's like, it's hard to. Really dive into it and and make the connections for yourself But it's so so so important for you on your weight loss journey, and I just I'm so passionate about this I just really really want especially when it comes to the self concept aspect of it I just really really really want you to know that It's natural that these things are harder for you, but it's not insurmountable and you can for sure make changes and still, you know, live your life the way you want to while incorporating changes and developing that awareness so that you can reach your goals.
So that's all I have for you today, and next week we will be talking about lifestyle. Talk to you guys later.