Feel and Find Out

Book Review Series- Chapter 2-What are exiles and why are they so powerful?

Raquel DeLuccia, MA, LMFT Season 2 Episode 2

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Welcome to Episode 2 of my book review series! (originally recorded in July)

Today I review Chapter 2 of You Are the One You've Been Waiting For by Richard Schwartz: The Development and Power of Exiles. There is SO much depth in this chapter. Join me as I dive in to explain exiles with examples from the book as well as real life.

Grab a pen and paper because there is a LOT of powerful info in this episode!

This episode describes how our exiled parts can be activated within our intimate relationships and how they develop. 

A little about exiles:

Exiles are our most vulnerable and sensitive parts. They are created when we learn that being vulnerable isn't safe-  these childlike parts get locked away inside and they become exiles of our psyche. This is based on how caretakers and later, peers, respond to our sensitivity

Exiled parts are burdened by beliefs and emotions, such as “I’m not good enough, I’m worthless, I’m unloveable.” Protector parts want to keep these locked away so we don’t become overwhelmed by this pain.

Buried beneath our visible (protective) behavior in relationships such as how we respond to or start conflict, is an exiled part.

Questions to consider:

1-How did your family of origin / caretakers react to your vulnerability or sensitivity; AND how did their reactions affect the way you learned to relate to those parts of you?

2-Apply this same question to PEERS or PARTNERs

Get this book: available on Kindle, Audible and Paperback

https://a.co/d/8It64Xd

[Raquel is an IFS level 1 trained therapist but is not affiliated directly with this book, or the IFS institute. This book review series is purely for educational purposes based on her experience as a couples and IFS therapist and her personal joy of reading] 

Disclaimer: Although I am a licensed therapist, the information in this podcast is not therapy and not intended to replace mental health counseling.

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