LBP #76: Season Of The Olds

We end our 3rd season with crimes of varying degrees of severity and acting of varying degrees of quality. Plus, Pierre!

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Email - TheLoveBoatProject@gmail.com
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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:06

Welcome back, Love Boat Project, episode number 76. I am your host, Mike Taylor. With me as always, my co-host, Mike Robertson. Ahoy, Mike.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Hey, Mike. What a fantastic way to end our third of nine point four seasons. If you like potential criminal activity, this was your week to shine.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

This was great. Potential almost borderline kidnapping going on this week on the Love Boat.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Yeah. I'm glad they taught, I'm glad they treated stalking with the reverence that we would have come to expect without serious issues on this boat.

SPEAKER_03 0:47

Nothing like stalking with a laugh track. It's just, wait, wait a minute. Wait, no police involved.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

Heavy laugh track.

SPEAKER_03 0:54

Yeah. Well, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 0:55

They got their best, they get their best guy on it. They got the same person who they had on Suicide Watch last week on it. Truly quite just clueless.

SPEAKER_03 1:04

Just unbelievable. We're here to talk about the season three finale. Love boat season three, episode 28. If you're following along with IMDB in Paramount Plus, it's episode 26. Episode titled No Girls for Doc. What? Marriage of Convenience, The Caller, and the Witness. Four stories, 90 minutes, Mike. Very special. Season finale.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Now, the caller really was like, I guess maybe they couldn't say Stalker, or maybe Stalker wasn't a I don't even know if that was the word back then. The term back then. Okay, I'll I'll I'll give them that one.

SPEAKER_03 1:41

They just called it pushy back then.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

Very pushy. Ring-a-ding-ding. Something. Second time that we have used the title The Witness. And do you remember the first witness?

SPEAKER_03 1:56

I remember the story, but I can't remember who the witness was.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Way back in season one, I believe it is a stubby nominee for worst storyline. Actually, it might be season two, actually, now that I think about it. Robert Reed and Tony Teneal and the Witness.

SPEAKER_03 2:12

Oh, that's right. Yeah, that was about that. That was awesome. They were like, well, it worked for a man. Let's flip it.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Right, except it didn't work. And so this was better. When we rank the witness storylines, this was better.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

But well, I also, when when we do get to it, I kind of want to talk about the crime that was.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

Oh, I would talk about the dispersal of funds for the district attorney's office of whatever town that is.

SPEAKER_03 2:42

Well, apparently he didn't use it for his clothing allowance because talk about a schlep, huh? Geez.

SPEAKER_00 2:49

He's undercover, man.

SPEAKER_03 2:50

Oh, he's super undercover as a schlepp. I mean, this guy, he's wearing he's wearing you know stripes and different pointing stripes in another direction. That guy is guy's outfits are busy. He should have worn some Daisy Dukes. Should have worn his Chips uniform. That's what he should have worn. Original air date, May 3rd, 1980. As I said, it's it was on at 8 p.m., 90-minute episode. What else was on? Let's start. CBS at 8 o'clock. This seems to be a steady thing here now. It's the Tim Conway show.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:26

With guest star Helen Reddy. A big guest.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_03 3:33

NBC.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

She was on the like. She was on like most people. She was a big deal, and she, like most people that we've seen in these other variety shows, she was on a Muppet show. Um and was fine. She was fine. Like some of these musicians can only act so much, you know. Better than Teneal.

SPEAKER_03 3:56

Not much. Anybody. Yeah. NBC at 8 p.m. We get a repeat of BJ and the Bear, an episode called Siege, which we've previously discussed.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 4:07

CBS at 9 p.m. movie. Not TV movie. Movie movie. Rio Lobo. 9 to 11 p.m. 1970. After the Civil War, Cord McNally searches for the traitors whose perfidy. Yeah, big word for everyone. Perfidy caused the defeat of McNally's unit and the loss of a close friend. And he discovers that one of the turncoats is involved in a plot. It's a long description. He swindled a rancher out of his land. Starring John Wayne.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

Whoa.

SPEAKER_03 4:45

Christopher, son of Robert Mitchum? I don't know. Or father of, I don't know. Wow, if he's the father of Robert Mitchum. Good.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Robert Mitcham was born in like 60.

SPEAKER_03 4:56

Jeez. Tales from the 1700s with Christopher Mitchum. Jennifer O'Neill and Jack Elam.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

That's a uh I feel like they did a lot of work for a Civil War movie that you could have just had be a Civil War movie, but it could have been quick. Like ranch stealing?

SPEAKER_03 5:14

Yeah, I don't perfidy? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

I bet you Ken Burns' Civil War doesn't use perfidy.

SPEAKER_03 5:22

This is probably this was the inspiration for a young Ken Burns. He saw Rio Lobo and he's like, I can do better.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

I can do better than perfidy. We did not get a lot of T V movies this year.

SPEAKER_03 5:35

No. No, we did not.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Like, especially compared to like season one. Now I do think part of that is because NBC basically went Chips BJ all season. Yeah. And when CBS was flailing, they tr maybe did a couple. Well, a lot of things. I remember that one.

SPEAKER_03 5:53

Yeah. Which we have again this evening. But yeah, I did notice that the it's kind of disappointing because I enjoy the TV movie. If if only the synopsis, they're they're fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 6:03

Yeah, I don't I mean, I like I like when it's a movie I've never heard of or something like that, but like generally the movies that made it to TV, you at least have some sense of it. Something. Whereas a TV movie could just be absolute direk. So that yeah, it has there have been some changes in in this, and obviously by the time we get back next step next season, it's gonna be completely different again, because that's how TV works.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

But well, I'm just wondering are they just gonna throw movies on a Saturday night, the other networks? Like well, not other, but like CBS, because like well, here's the thing.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

Yeah, and we talked about this a little bit. No, no, again, and we will deal with this more in our season premiere, I think. Like in terms of the strike and the long delay, like our next episode is late October, right? So there's a lot of there's a lot of stuff, it's probably like post-World Series. If ABC had the World Series that year, you know, or something like that. Right. But we know for a fact BJ's gone from the Saturday night lineup, but Chips is is a stalwart. We assume Love Boat and Fancy Island are back, but their their lead-in is gonna be different because the ropers are gonna be gone, and then CBS. I agree with you. Maybe they think the Tim Conway show is at least something, so but I'm sure nobody starts out planning to put movies on from nine to eleven, right? No, they always start out with a show, it fails, and then they end up with a movie. So I'll be curious. That's one of my favorite parts of doing new seasons. Is we're going to get as we go further, there are going to be shows that we recognize more and more and more, you know. And so even though Saturday night is still kind of a graveyard.

SPEAKER_03 7:42

But I do wonder as we get later in in the lifespan of the show, like when those ratings start to, and I'm just assuming at some point those ratings dip. It's I'm curious to see what other networks do in response to sort of try to take those ratings away or kick them while they're down or a strong or something.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

Well, and when we get to Mr. Wilcox, actually, I have a thought about that too, just based on conversations we've had about that kind of war of ratings. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:10

NBC at 9 p.m., another movie, Mike. It is The Towering Inferno Part 2.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 8:16

Oof. Efforts to rescue people trapped by a fire in the world's tallest skyscraper fail repeatedly as casualties mount.

SPEAKER_00 8:27

They do.

SPEAKER_03 8:29

And chances for survival of the rest lesson with this all-star cast. Yeah, there's like they're not, there's no way they're gonna name everybody. So no, no, but I'm giving you the heavy hitters here. Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, Richard Chamberlain, king of the miniseries, O.J. Simpson, William Holden. I didn't know about the OJ, Faye Dunaway, Fred Astaire, Robert Vaughan, one of our favorites, Robert Wagner.

SPEAKER_00 8:58

So I have seen Towering Inferno a lot. O.J. is a fireman who actually does a decent rescue job, but I think he definitely rescues a cat.

SPEAKER_03 9:08

Goes against type, huh?

unknown 9:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

I feel like Richard Chamberlain tries to butt in line on the escape plan and goes out the window. Fred Astaire definitely goes down in the elevator on the outside of the building.

SPEAKER_03 9:23

Does he do any dancing?

SPEAKER_00 9:25

Pretty sure Robert Wagner gets burned alive in his bedroom. So it's a lot of stuff. Oh, nice. But a lot of stuff. It is. It is of all those movies, it is the best. It is just friggin' Paul Newman. But I've never seen this. Airport's good and everything, but like this is just the best stars you ever had. I mean, Newman, Dunaway, McQueen, Bill Holden. Friggin' Bill Holden is just great. Bill Holden's great. It's so good. It's so good. I would have watched that tonight. And I liked this Love Boat episode, but I would have watched part two of Towering Inferno.

SPEAKER_03 10:00

It's a shame we wouldn't be able to tape it back then. Like, what do we do? There's two shows on that we want to watch.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

We only skipping, we've been every other week, right? So we missed part one probably last Saturday. Oh, can you imagine if you've never seen Towering Inferno? I wonder where they break it off. It's something bad.

SPEAKER_03 10:16

Friday, Saturday. Like, where do you stop it? You know what I mean? ABC at 9 30. We've got a special. And this, I not Fantasy Island. Not Fantasy Island. 9 30 to 10. 10 o'clock Fantasy Island. But since it's 90 minutes, 8 to 9.30. Anne Margaret, Hollywood Movie Girls is the name of the special. But wait, it's about to get weird. Anne Margaret and her guests take a musical look at real and myth and mythical Hollywood Femme fatales from the past to the present. Okay, and here's where it gets weird.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

I mean, right there is pretty weird. It's like Ann Margaret's a famous interviewer.

SPEAKER_03 10:58

So if you're gonna take a musical look, right, at Hollywood Femme fatales with Ann Margaret and her guests, you would never guess who these four guests are in a million years related to the topic of this special.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

So it's hard because top of my head, right, femme fatals wouldn't necessarily be musical, right?

SPEAKER_03 11:20

Nope.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

No. So it's not gonna be like Judy Garland or something.

SPEAKER_03 11:24

Nope. Well, when you when you discuss a list like this, you really want to bring on some experts. Okay. That's why Anne Margaret invited George Burns, Dom Deloise, Danny DeVito, and Roger Moore to discuss a musical look at mythical Hollywood Femme fatales with Danny DeVito. No females. No females. No females. Other than Anne Margaret.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

I don't understand any of that.

SPEAKER_03 11:54

No, I don't either.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

So is that like a round, is that like a politically incorrect round table like Anne Margaret's hosting?

SPEAKER_03 12:00

No kidding.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

What do you think of her? Oh, I really want to I really want to dig around for that. That sounds horrible. That's horrible.

SPEAKER_03 12:07

Well, I'm just reading. I'm like George George Burns. Okay, that's weird. Dom DeLouise? And Danny DeVito?

SPEAKER_00 12:13

Yeah, you're kind of you're kind of putting a hat on a hat there.

SPEAKER_03 12:18

That's uh that's something. That's a ratings grabber.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

Weird.

SPEAKER_03 12:22

After the love boat, well, don't put that remote away because there's no such thing. Just have a seat and enjoy George Burns' take on Femme fatales in Hollywood. Jeez. Wow. But we're here to we are not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about the season finale. Let me give you the synopsis. The male crew members challenge Doc to a bet after he swears off women. A widow must make a decision about her friend's mystery caller. What?

SPEAKER_00 12:53

What wait?

SPEAKER_03 12:54

A widow? That doesn't make that a widow must make a decision about her friend's mystery caller. That doesn't make any sense at all.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

That's just that's not right.

SPEAKER_03 13:04

That's not right at all. A man falls for the young woman in his protect what? A widow makes a decision about her friend's. It's got there.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Because Helen Hayes is a widow, but there was no mystery caller. That was very blatant, right?

SPEAKER_03 13:16

Maybe in a parallel universe, Helen Hayes ends up with Martin Short. I I don't know what's going on here. Okay, that's clearly not right. Guest stars, you'd think you'd think we'd have it by now. 76, you'd think, come on. Where's our research team? Come on.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

I mean, they've been decent this year. They haven't been as bad. That just feels like a mistake.

SPEAKER_03 13:39

Guest stars, Catherine Bach as Pat Bigelow. First appearance in the Love Boat. We'll see her again in season six. Known for her role as Daisy Duke. 147 episodes of Daisy Duke, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

This is our first Duke, right?

SPEAKER_03 13:54

Yeah, we didn't have Tom Wopat, right? We haven't had John Schneider yet. We haven't had Uncle Jesse. Boss Hog. Boss Hog, Roscoe Pico. No. We haven't had Flash, the Basset Hound.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

Or Bowen Vance. We haven't had Bowen Vance. Nothing.

SPEAKER_03 14:10

Bo and Vance. You know, the Duke Boys.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

I will say I never I don't think I've ever seen Catherine Bach in anything besides Duke's Hazard. She was fine. I was a little worried.

SPEAKER_03 14:24

It's not a few. Based on her first scene, I was worried. I was like, oh boy.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

She's been great. I will say that whole storyline. She's one note, you know? Agreed. That whole storyline I felt like was sped up in a way that was unnecessary for a 90-minute episode. Yeah. And I didn't think that helped.

unknown 14:42

Right.

SPEAKER_03 14:43

Hurry up.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

Everybody was delivering their lines very fast.

SPEAKER_03 14:46

Just like go, go, go, go, go, go. 90 minutes, 90 minutes. They must have had like a stopwatch. Hurry up, Catherine Bach. Get to your line. Larry Breeding is Jack Stander. First appearance. We'll see him again in season four. Not much out there on him.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Oh, wait. So you don't have this? No. It's a terrible, terrible story. Oh, absolutely. So I thought this guy was really I thought this guy was really good. I didn't never see him before. I really liked him. In I want to say like 82, 83. So in a few years here, he is signed on to do a co-star show with Gerald McCraney because Simon Simon wasn't going to get picked up.

unknown 15:28

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

Simon Simon gets a last-minute pickup, but McCranie's not available, and so they're spending some time looking for the new McCranie. In that time, this guy, Larry, whatever his name is, killed in a one-car auto record. Yeah. Dies in a one-car crash in the freeway.

SPEAKER_03 15:54

Oh man. That's awful. Yeah, that's awesome. The show event has to replace them. Poor Larry Breeding. That's a sad story, man.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Yeah, so I thought that was it's very sad. I thought it was very interesting. And yeah, I mean, I you know, it's I mean that sounded like a big deal. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 16:20

But it's like that. Remember that Swedish or he was some Norwegian, maybe? He was the guy that wrote that like the girl with the dragon tattoo, and he wrote all three books. And he went to go submit them to the editor, and he like got hit by a car and died, and he like he never saw. It's weird. Yeah. Poor guy. Maurice, speaking of barely alive, Maurice Evans is Hollister Dale. First is only first and only appearance on the Love Boat. Hollister Dale, industrial carpet enthusiast. Hollister Dale. So Hayes, yes, sir.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Hold on. Hollister Dale, first of all, in case you haven't, in case you guys have not seen the episode, it's a combination of John Houseman and Alfred Hitchcock. But that that guy loved that guy loved carpets.

SPEAKER_03 17:12

You bring up industrial carpets. That dude comes to life. You start talking about that.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

Do you think Hollister Dale Hollister is a tribute to Paul Hollister, the Burt Conde character in the Charlie's Angels crossover?

SPEAKER_03 17:25

Thousand percent. Thousand percent.

SPEAKER_00 17:27

It's it's the same, they're the same guy, obviously.

SPEAKER_03 17:30

It's an Easter egg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Helen Hayes, and and I'll say that well, first and only appearance, second person to win the Egot, first woman to do it, awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1986 by Ronald Reagan. My arguably, well, is she the biggest star we've ever had?

SPEAKER_00 17:52

I mean, it is. She's the first lady of the American theater. She's like that's amazing. I have never seen her in anything. Me neither. I've heard the name, but yeah. And boy do you get it. Boy, do you get it right away.

SPEAKER_03 18:08

Adjust to your stubby nominations now. Seriously.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

We we have had a few of these, and we will talk about them a lot, obviously, next episode.

SPEAKER_03 18:16

But in this season, we've had a lot of these.

SPEAKER_00 18:19

Yes, absolutely. But my god, just talk about like I can't even like define it where it's just like but it was just like she was so much better than everything in here in a way that made all the theater stuff makes total sense, right? Like it was just oh my god. And we've talked about we've talked about this where some of the best performances we've seen are people that are very theater heavy because they give you a lot of crap to say is your staging, it's just live theater, yeah. But Jesus Christ, and she blew the rest of those clowns off the stage in her storyline.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

So you'd think that James MacArthur would be a better actor just through like osmosis. And listen, I had all my money on James MacArthur because I needed him for a stubby award.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Sorry, I don't think you're getting it, brother.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

No, I can't even give it to him because he's Helen Hayes' son. He's he's awful. He this is not a bounce back appearance for Dano.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

So you watched a little bit of Hawaii 5 0, right? I don't know that I've watched it enough in with like as an adult to know. Like, he's horrible. He wasn't that good in the first one we saw.

SPEAKER_03 19:30

No, he it's not great. Terrible in this, he was terrible. He's not great in Hawaii 5.0. He's just like the second guy. He's like, go get evidence, Dano. Okay, yeah. It's just nothing.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

He's like the he's like the nine millionth person of the American theater.

SPEAKER_03 19:46

It's just, but I just thought, like, geez, like, you're not gonna pick up your mom's on set. Can we just can you act a little harder? Can you just do something?

SPEAKER_00 19:54

Like, he couldn't even nail the one scene where it's just the two of them. Like, you couldn't just nail that one.

SPEAKER_03 20:00

Like nothing was believable in his in the way, not in the words he delivered, the way he delivered them, and even in his like the physical staging, just he just oh I needed him for a damn stubby for you know best comeback. Nothing. Nope. I crossed that pen.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

Yeah, I agree. You know, Vicky, that's a special kind of marriage love. Shut up.

unknown 20:23

Come on.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

And there's a little weirdness about that whole situation that that I would like to get into when we there's some weird confusion on my part, which who knows?

SPEAKER_02 20:33

Maybe I'm just a silly goose, but that never happens.

SPEAKER_03 20:36

No, no, no. James MacArthur, uh second appearance, boo. Sorry, John McCook as smooth Mark. Holy cow. This guy's not messing around. Oh my god. Velvet voice. Jeez. Medallion, no shirt, and a bathing suit.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

Karate.

SPEAKER_03 21:00

I'm a black belt in karate. Oh, lots to unpack. Mark Bridges, great character. These are the that's the kind of guy I'd love to see back like in four episodes.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

Uh peripheral.

SPEAKER_00 21:11

Well, they made it, they've they've done that a few times this season. Namath was like this, where they were like, oh, he's a regular on the logo.

SPEAKER_03 21:18

Which yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

Why not? I'll do that. Let's let's go.

SPEAKER_03 21:21

I'm fine with it. Bring back Mark Bridges. Good lord. The ultimate horn dog, Mark Bridge, and scared. Oh, he's all in one. He's on the list, too. Mark Bridges, scared of bullets. There you go. Mildred. I mean, it's totally fine. He does know karate. That's just bullshit he tells ladies, though. You know, he doesn't know nobody knew karate except for Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris in the in the room.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

The room wasn't big enough to do karate. Like he wasn't gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_03 21:48

He looked limber enough to kick somebody, Mark Bridges.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

I feel like he was too tall for karate.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

He yeah, you can't. That guy's no Mildred Natwick for name. The week as Beatrice Dale. First and only appearance. Uh, not much on her. Christopher Norris, girl name, as Gail Paget. It's a girl with the name Christopher. Interesting. First appearance. We'll see her four more times. She appeared on 37 episodes of Trapper John MD as Nurse Ripples Brancoosey.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 22:24

Yeah, yeah, that's real. Nurse Ripples Brancusi. I know you're a big Trapper John MD fan.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

I'm glad she's coming back because I can't decide if I thought she's good or not. I'd like to see it. I'd like to see it again.

SPEAKER_03 22:38

I'd like to see her again. Yeah. And maybe we'll figure that out by the end of this episode.

SPEAKER_02 22:47

That's it.

SPEAKER_03 22:48

Larry Wilcox as Wayne Zero Charisma Dobson. First appear. You can't be a cop if you don't have a pulse, Mike. Come on now. First appearance on the Love Boat. We'll see him again in season nine when we see everybody back on the love boat. He appeared in 116 episodes of Chips. Fun fact, Mike, he and Eric Estrada did not like each other.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

Oh, you'd yeah, I think you've you've mentioned that in passing before.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

So I blames it. Well, he blames Estrada for having him fired prior to the last season of the show.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

Oh, see, I didn't know he got fired. I don't I don't have as much of a chips knowledge as you do. I have a very baseline knowledge, and so this was really like the first Wilcox I've seen. You know, I thought he was good for what it was. I thought he was funny. I thought he had good timing. He's fine. I thought he was all right. The interesting thing to me was, and we have talked about it, even though it's not going up against it. Chips is the number one show on Saturday night this season. Yeah. On a different network. Right. I so, and you've you've brought this up, and I don't disagree that you wonder if they'll be doing less non-ABC shows moving forward. It was interesting. Now, Chips isn't on tonight.

SPEAKER_03 24:08

That's what I was gonna say. I wonder if it's if there's like a thing in there, like, look, we can't be a direct competitor with the show you star on.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

But in the world, because it would have been going right up against Chips, right? Yeah, like yeah. So so we've seen, I think the only one no, that was that was the same network. I was gonna say we've seen a couple where people have been on multiple shows on the same night, but they've been on the same network. So it is interesting, and I think as we keep going now, where CBS is the big dog right now, who knows what it'll be next year. Not on the nice big dog. Jeez.

SPEAKER_03 24:43

I hope that is not the case because it would limit our potential, you know, we gotta have what else is odds to yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. So finally, maybe possibly the cursing of the series so far. Maybe, I don't know. Martin Short is Melvin. First and only appearance. What I did find out, I found out a little more info about the Canada Walk of Fame. Now we know where it is now. Now we do, yes. But I didn't know that the stars are in the shape of a maple leaf. Oh, nice. He's on the obviously the Canadian Walk of Fame.

SPEAKER_00 25:25

So shouldn't it be like Leaf of Fame then?

SPEAKER_03 25:28

Right. It's not a star.

SPEAKER_00 25:30

Although I guess Walk of Fame isn't a star. Yeah, so I guess that makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 25:33

Well, I wonder in Canada when they look up in the sky, do they see stars? Or do they see little tiny maple leaves?

SPEAKER_00 25:38

Leafs. Yeah. I will say the Kearnsing is a plot, Kearns. Because they didn't want to reveal him. They clearly wanted you to think it was like, why can't I I'm so bad with characters this week. Jack Standard. Oh, Jack Standard. Yeah. Um, they clearly wanted you to think it was him. And so I I had the same thought you did, but I think it's a that's a plot currency.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

So we kept just popping up. And he just it made him look as as weird as possible.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

Like it was basically like, hey, are you like running like a C minus Ed Grimley here this week?

SPEAKER_03 26:17

Like Yeah, I think that's exactly what I put down. I'm like, what? Yeah, low bid.

SPEAKER_00 26:23

The real the real currency, and we will talk about it when we get to the scene, was the tuxedo shop.

SPEAKER_03 26:30

Oh, Pierre? Oh, forget about Pierre. Jesus, where's this guy been?

SPEAKER_00 26:35

What's this shop about?

SPEAKER_03 26:36

It's not the there's a Taylor shop. Save it.

SPEAKER_00 26:39

I got like 40 minutes on that shop.

SPEAKER_03 26:41

I love that guy. I almost dressed up as Pierre for the final episode this morning. Good lord. Anything to cover before we hop on the boat, sir?

SPEAKER_00 26:50

No, I would say the 90 minute episodes are always weird because it's like they do add a storyline, but it does sometimes feel rushed, but also it feels padded, you know, all that stuff. I will say, even though I have questions that I will bring up about maybe some of these storylines were a little too similar to each other to be in the same episode, it moved. Moved. It moved. Even though there was a little bit of padding, like with some padding shots and stuff, I I know we say this all the time about 90-minute episodes, but I feel like you could have probably pulled some stuff out of here and had a really good, really good 60-minute, but it was it didn't drag, which I think maybe that just comes because we've done so many two-parters this season. That yeah, you know, you're you're waiting for that extra half hour, but it was fun. It was a fun last episode of the season. And I would say, because they don't really do season finales like in the traditional way, I would say it felt like a good season finale.

SPEAKER_03 27:44

So I tell you, it would have been great if they had that that adoption person. We talked about it before to have that cliff. I love a cliffhanger at the end of a season. You know, is is Stuben gonna lose Vicky? Remember, we talked about that. I love I love a cliffhanger.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

And I well, I mean, just the fact that they they lumped all the Vicky episodes into a consecutive lump for a the yeah, the the the ballad of Vicky in three consecutive weeks.

SPEAKER_03 28:11

All right.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

The miniseries, the Vicky mini-series.

SPEAKER_03 28:13

There's Richard Chamberlain. Did someone say mini-series?

SPEAKER_00 28:17

Vicky, I'm your real father. Oh god.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

We're street hawk when we need him. More on that later. All right. Let's get on the boat. We hear the horn ring. We see we see boxes being loaded on the ship. We see boxes being unloaded on the ship. I don't know what's happening here.

SPEAKER_00 28:37

It's either that's a 90-minute episode. They just ran it backwards.

SPEAKER_03 28:41

Like ran it forwards and ran it backwards. A blonde woman enters the boat. She tells Julie that she's a little nervous and asks how soon the boat leaves. And if and I'm like, oh, is this another deep water issue here? Are we another potential jumper? She tells Julie she's anxious to put some distance between her and her telephone. Last three months, she's had mystery phone calls. Tells Julie he's very polite, but somehow, wait, because remember, Julie said I know what that means, like the breathing and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 29:13

Breathing and did she say heavy breathing and sexy?

SPEAKER_03 29:16

Yeah, yeah. Uh you're telling on yourself there. Go on. Gee, no, call me. Call me, Martin Short. Tells Julie that he's very polite, but somehow he calls her everywhere. She goes, introduces herself to Julie as Gail Paget. Paget. I don't know. Promenade Deck 350 Paget. Yeah. Unlisted cabins. And Gail walks away to her cabin. I don't know. How is it unlisted if she's saying it out loud? What are you talking about? How do you where do you see the number if it's not written in the cabin?

SPEAKER_00 29:46

You heard all of it.

SPEAKER_03 29:48

What are you writing it in invisible ink? Like, how do you is you did you make the number up, Julie? Come on. Enter gentleman boarding the ship who's staring at Gail as she walks away. More specifically, he's staring at her Heine. You know, it's weird. I wasn't sure how to spell Heiney. That's a weird spelling for the word Heine, but I've ever actually spelled it.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

It's a weird so again. Yeah. I guess if you're like not going to go to the cops, this is a good idea if you're going to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_03 30:15

You want to go on a cruise instead? Just get to go to a place without phones? Go to international waters where laws are a little loosey-goosey.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

Well, it's not just that, but it's like if this guy's a stalker and he finds you, you're trapped now. Right, where are you gonna go?

SPEAKER_03 30:31

Hope you can swim, Gail.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

Well, I mean, we've seen documentaries about real cruise liners where they're not safe, and this boat has even less security than them.

SPEAKER_03 30:39

So there's nothing here. And we haven't even gotten to the mayonnaise-based salads yet. We're talking about safety. So uh Julie asks if he needs any help. He says, No, I think I can handle this by myself, walks away. No, no cabin number given, by the way. I don't know. He's sleeping in that uh where John Ritter stashed his clothes, apparently.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

He just no cabin just walks away. He's got a bag of zip ties. No kidding.

SPEAKER_03 31:03

And a rag, the chloroform rag that just follows Gail up the stairs. And a phone. And a phone. Yeah, with those big gray cell phones.

SPEAKER_00 31:11

The ones where you like, it was on the wall and Raider O'Reilly's with him.

SPEAKER_03 31:15

Because you need a radio operator to do a radio. We see a man and woman approach gopher. Tells Gopher that their names are Wayne Dobson and Pat Bigelow. I'll tell you what, Daisy Duke does not look like a Pat Bigelow.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

No, Pat's a like, give me a Patty, at least.

SPEAKER_03 31:33

Yeah, that makes more sense, Patty, but she didn't look like a Pat.

SPEAKER_00 31:35

Pat Bigelow sounds like he runs the Union.

SPEAKER_03 31:39

Something. Or it's Bam Bam. Bam Bam. I knew you were going to do that. Promenade deck 101 and 102. Here's the thing. I didn't realize that these were adjoining rooms. I know we're going to get to it. I never think They said it. Did they say it?

SPEAKER_00 31:56

Yeah, Gopher says it. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 31:58

Okay. Wayne Dobson says, I hope our cabins are away from the other passengers. Gopher says that they're booked, but if something comes available, he'll let Wayne know. Wayne says it's a matter of life and death. Gopher thinks this is just a little bit odd, as does Isaac and Vicky, but no need to report this.

SPEAKER_00 32:17

No.

SPEAKER_03 32:18

No need to report the word death being thrown around at boarding.

SPEAKER_00 32:22

The fact that we did not get a Stubing Mysteries episode out of this with two potential crimes, they didn't even bother telling the captain this stuff. He's busy having coffee, but hella.

SPEAKER_03 32:34

Well, I think I know why. We're about to see why Stubing was not involved because Stubing is completely oblivious. Stubing's reading a passenger. And wait. There's someone who looks kind of like Doc, wearing a rain hat, a rain coat, and shoes that were about five times five sizes too big. And he's trying to sneak on the boat. Julie sees him, but Doc gives her the be quiet sign. Doc sneaks past Stubing, ever alert, omnipresent Stubing.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

Well, who's right by him? Doc's smaller than like an iceberg, so I guess that's what's getting. Nothing. He's always wearing bright yellow. He probably thought he was working out.

SPEAKER_03 33:16

Bet she's got a bright little brightly bright yellow kimono he's gonna go change into after this. Can't wait to see. And then as he's walking towards Julie, we see Martin Short in an almost Ed Grimley outfit. Yeah. Walks past, and Doc avoids talking to Julie. Martin Short takes up the whole seat, the whole, like, the whole thing. He's there and just wow.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

He's getting his shots in.

SPEAKER_03 33:46

Oh, he's getting his money's worth. He's like, I'm gonna make my good friends.

SPEAKER_00 33:49

He's like, I did not fly down from Toronto to get forgotten about.

SPEAKER_03 33:53

Sorry. We're gonna make this happen. Doc backs his way into the lobby where we see a brief shot of Martin Short again. Doc and Isaac see him immediately. Doc says, I don't want to talk about it. I learned a new word this week, Mike. And that word is I was at a party when some Trollop.

SPEAKER_00 34:11

You didn't know that?

SPEAKER_03 34:12

No. No trollop. I've always heard it, but I did not know. Wow. Suggest we go skinny dipping in the ocean. She ran off with my clothes, my wallet, and everything. Boy, in the early 80s. Imagine you lose your wallet.

SPEAKER_00 34:26

Doc got Doc got rolled. It's so funny because, like, I guess it makes sense because while I will always give credit for Doc being like on always be suspicious, right? And that's that comes up later here, but women trump even suspicion for him. And so I'm actually I guess I'm surprised he doesn't get rolled more.

SPEAKER_03 34:48

Oh, yeah, because he's you'd think he would learn like his vacation away from the boat should like not be any women involved because he's just exhausted.

SPEAKER_00 34:57

I mean, he was just at a party, which the other thing is, too, like docks parties are probably key parties at midnight. Should not be going, you can't be going out to a party the night before the cruise leaves, man. Come on, Doc.

SPEAKER_03 35:09

No, you can't do that. I completely agree. That that's just irresponsible.

SPEAKER_00 35:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

Alright. Hold on. All right. Doc backs his way. I'm sorry, but Doc announces he was done messing around. Tells Isaac and Gopher that he wants nothing to do with women on this upcoming cruise. And I'm like, what? So that's like what? A four-day break? Like, what is that really? Maybe gonna maybe it might be a little bit more.

SPEAKER_00 35:35

This might have been a two-day. This might have been a two-day cruise. I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:39

It was a well only saw one sightseeing tour.

SPEAKER_00 35:41

And that was the sighting stuff. That was the they had dinner the first day of the cruise. They talked about that the next day and then they got off. Yeah, I think that's I think it's a two-night tour.

SPEAKER_03 35:49

So it's good for you, Docs. We're not women for 72 hours.

SPEAKER_02 35:52

And you couldn't even do it. He couldn't do it. He couldn't do it.

SPEAKER_03 35:57

Makes a bet with Gopher and Isaac that he won't mess around with any women on the next cruise. This cruise, loser has to pay for a night on the town for all three of them. That's a fair bet. Although three-way bets doesn't make sense. Like, how did Isaac get into this? So if Doc loses, he has to buy both, but if like what?

SPEAKER_00 36:18

Well, I wonder if like it's a thought where in I mean but also you figure gopher and Isaac probably equal salary to Doc, right? Or even though it's not a good thing. Yeah, I was just gonna say like that's probably what it is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:32

Makes sense. Doc doesn't want to make him go poor. I wonder how much Doc makes. Like you're going back 1980 on a cruise ship. I mean, I would assume that's it.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

But think so so here's the thing. So if he's a legitimate doctor, which we always joke, but he's a legitimate doctor, and he has to do you have to get paid more because it's a non-practical position, and maybe the field is harder to get, right? Like it's a limited field, I would imagine. Yeah. Or is all the accroutement kind of baked in and you don't get as much because you're so it's interesting. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 37:16

I wonder because you know, in the army, they you know, if you sign up to be in the army and you're the doctor, the one benefit of that is that you don't have to pay any malpractice insurance as you're you know what I mean, uh, because you're going to school for free, and a lot of these young doctors pay that malpractice insurance, and apparently it's crazy. So the first thing that popped in my head is I wonder if he's a doctor on this ship because he doesn't want to deal with malpractice, especially if he spends so much time in international waters.

SPEAKER_00 37:40

Like I think we know why Doc is a doctor on this ship. Oh, yeah. Which is a different question than you're asking. 100%. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 37:48

So I just wonder if it's sort of like some of those there's some crossover on some of those type of things. Well, where do you think that's a good thing?

SPEAKER_00 37:54

I'm gonna say that Prince This is also this the late 70s, early 80s, so I think it's maybe more of a lifestyle that would be normal than it would be today for a guy in his 40s, right? So but I think there's a certain kind of person that would take a job like this. It's kind of like um traveling nurse, right? Where you you live somewhere for like a year and stuff like that. It's a version of that, so that'd be pretty awesome.

SPEAKER_03 38:21

I mean, if you're a single doctor, I mean it's not a bad gig.

SPEAKER_00 38:25

I mean, if you're okay with the lifestyle itself, you know. And I think the other thing too, we never we only talk about it in the few times where it actually comes up, but it's like you are really on your own when the bad stuff happens, right?

SPEAKER_03 38:38

I mean, it's like so it's you better hope somebody picks up the phone at night to have a great maybe you like maybe you have a nurse, maybe maybe you had that one great nurse and now she's gone, so he's doing yeah. He I mean, although it is a little weird for a doctor, and I know we'll get there, to apply sunscreen after the after someone gets burned. I don't know. Well, I mean we'll get to it, but there's a lot of questionable practices going on.

SPEAKER_00 39:02

Well, I don't know why she just didn't grab some of that loose sunscreen that Mark had. Right? I mean doctors had that stuff lying around everywhere, it's everywhere.

SPEAKER_03 39:12

Excuse me. Julie's standing with Vicky as a male passenger approaches. Ask if Agatha Winslow has checked in yet, says he's traveling with her. Julie says, No, she hasn't, Mr. Winslow. He replies, Mr. Winslow, no, I'm Scott Burgess.

unknown 39:27

Great.

SPEAKER_00 39:28

Boring man.

SPEAKER_03 39:29

You're awful. You're everyone would be sleeping in his church. You know, just golly. It's it's it's Sunday nap, Scott Burgess. This guy's awful. I wanted to give him a stubby nomination so bad. I had it all.

SPEAKER_00 39:44

There are two people that are eligible for this goddamn award. Nothing.

SPEAKER_03 39:48

Nothing. This guy, I put it all on you, Scott Burgess. Christ. An older man and woman asked Go for an Isaac, which is the promenade deck.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

And when I say older, he sounds like a cartoon walrus in a Disney movie.

SPEAKER_03 40:06

This guy. This guy, yeah, I don't. Isaac says you're on the promenade promenade deck. She introduces them as the Dales. Beatrice and Hollister, but they aren't married. They're brother and sister. Which makes Isaac laugh nervously about assuming they were a married couple. I if it was like I'm Isaac, right? And you're and you're the male, if you're Hollister, and you're like, no, no, we're brother and sister. If I'm Isaac, okay. Great. Like, I don't I'm not visually shocked.

SPEAKER_00 40:40

I don't care. I don't care. I'm pretty sure that there's a murder going on back over there, so I have to go back.

SPEAKER_03 40:46

He's like, let me guess, toasted almonds for everybody, right? Am I right? Something easy.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

You seem like a cartoonish character.

SPEAKER_03 40:56

You have a bit of a Magoo look to you, sir. Good lord. Oh, well, what do you hear?

SPEAKER_00 41:01

What my thing is another he's like a British Steve Bryan.

SPEAKER_03 41:05

Like, it's just like all he cares about is industrial carpeting.

SPEAKER_00 41:10

And he loved he loved carpeting. I don't know that we've ever had anyone who loved anything as much as this guy's love carpeting.

SPEAKER_03 41:19

He means it. He'll he'll cut off people if they don't oh immediately. Older woman is entering the ship. Here we go, Mike. A major star is entering the boat now. Applause break. Show us how we do this, and I'll tell you. Amazing. Somehow Stubing recognizes her from the back of her head. Thank you. So Stubing recognizes her, but he can't see a man dressed in bright yellow sneaking. Okay. And he was in the same spot. That's fine. Okay. That's good. Not gonna. And she was 20 feet away. Agatha? How the hell do you recognize her by the back of her head? So dumb. Unbelievable. Doc was five feet away from him. Tells her it's great to see her after so many years. Asks her if she's still Agatha Winslow, or did she get married? And she says she's still the Merry Window, or Merry Window. She's still the Merry Widow. This was a weird one, Mike. Julie interrupts by handing Stubing the weather advisory. Why would you do this if there's no like there's no story there? Oh, here's a weather advisory. Smooth sailing in sunny skies. Like, why are you you're interrupting them for there's no we never see?

SPEAKER_00 42:32

Well, well, I think A, I think it's good because it's good to build it in because when we do see it, at least it makes sense. Maybe after they ignored the hurricane, they decided this had to get to get done.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

Give it to Captain Anderson. Have him do the weather or Isaac. It's just a weird, but but there was no after action.

SPEAKER_00 42:50

It was just like I think Julie is just constantly effing with students.

SPEAKER_03 42:57

Or whoever the director was this week is like, we have to make it seem like they're on a ship more. How do we do that? Weather reports. Weather reports. Where's Captain Anderson?

SPEAKER_00 43:05

Yeah, I just thought it was a weird He looked at that note that Tex gave him about Charo quicker than the weather report, which again, last time you didn't look at the weather report, there was a hurricane.

SPEAKER_03 43:18

Well, because you know if that if that envelope was addressed to somebody else, he'd have that sucker ripped open so fast because he's so nosy. That's true. Or if it had jam on it. No.

SPEAKER_01 43:31

Is that the inforax?

unknown 43:32

No.

SPEAKER_03 43:32

Just Agatha says they'll catch up later. Stubing tells her, and what a privilege this is. You'll dine with me at my table tonight.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

The last one of the season. The last one we should have counted these instead of engagements.

SPEAKER_03 43:50

This is like Can we just get a better like table of a long table? Have some clout. Can we add some clout to the captain's table?

SPEAKER_00 44:03

So the one thing I want to look at next season is we had a lot of bodies this time. It wasn't all crew, which is a positive, but it was all the same storyline. Right.

SPEAKER_03 44:12

I want to see a trans transition to all.

SPEAKER_00 44:15

We need to have we need to at least have two storylines at the table to make to make it worth it.

SPEAKER_03 44:21

Use it as a segue piece. Or like a bridge to other people, just something.

SPEAKER_00 44:25

Just even if it's just to make you feel like this felt, and I'm sure if I really thought about it, I could disprove some of it. But this felt like all these storylines were shot separately. Like there was no crossover.

SPEAKER_03 44:40

Yeah, no, there was no the only crossover was like images of Martin Short in front of Doc.

SPEAKER_00 44:46

Right.

SPEAKER_03 44:46

But like, yeah, there was no. I would love to know the notes on how this this specific episode was filmed.

SPEAKER_00 44:54

Well, and I think the other thing is too, and this I was so the the caller, the soccer storyline, and the witness, they're they're just similar enough that I don't know that they both should have been in this episode. I agree. I agree. So and I think that that they definitely felt like they were not shot at the same time.

SPEAKER_03 45:13

No, no, because everybody was so isolated.

SPEAKER_00 45:16

You know what I mean? Yeah. It's basically Isaac and Julie on one. Right. And Isaac and Gopher on the other.

SPEAKER_03 45:25

Yeah. So well, Stubin kind of had the week off. He didn't really have a lot other than a conversation with Aggie.

SPEAKER_00 45:32

Yeah, we had to have his old, his, his classic old person talk show that he has in his office.

SPEAKER_03 45:39

He loves it. He fills his coffee with coffee a tenth of the way up and then walks to the window. No steam coming out of that beverage. Nothing like room temperature coffee to help me with my my bridge duties. So nuts.

SPEAKER_00 45:53

It's just bourbon. It's just bourbon.

SPEAKER_03 45:56

Orange juice. What are you doing? We know you're Stubing Stowing tells Julie that Mrs. Winslow is the widow of a captain that he sailed under. Interesting. Okay. I like that. Yeah. Ask Julie to do whatever she can to help her meet someone. I'm like, what?

SPEAKER_00 46:13

Why? Yeah. Where did that come from? Like, not everybody's on this boat to get laid. Like, I mean, just like just because you're old, sad, and lonely doesn't mean she's old, sad, and lonely.

SPEAKER_03 46:24

He's just pushing that damn branding of the love boat. That's what it is.

SPEAKER_00 46:27

It's like, well, thank God we only got one. We only got it once. And that was not egregious, at least.

SPEAKER_03 46:33

I thought it was better because Stubing didn't say it. Because you know, he always gets weird when he says it. Tries to be all like about it.

SPEAKER_00 46:40

After that one episode here a few weeks ago where they said it like 15 times.

SPEAKER_03 46:43

Looking in the camera. Tell him Gavin sent you. What? What are you doing? Yeah, but I thought it was weird. Like what? Yeah, everyone is not on the ship to Yeah. I don't know. Oh, good news. Julie turns and sees Dano. I will I will refer to him as Dano because I refuse to say Scott Burgess anymore because that there's nothing there.

SPEAKER_00 47:07

Reverend Snooze.

SPEAKER_03 47:09

No kidding. Reverend O gives Agatha a big hug. Stubing sees Agatha walk away with Dano. We hear the boat.

SPEAKER_00 47:20

It is a great line by Julie, though. Where Stubing says, you know, see that she meets somebody and they see that, and Julie's like, I think she brought her own. That was such a great line.

SPEAKER_03 47:33

Well, they love to do that little bit of like oh yeah. Disbelief, like, who you don't define it.

SPEAKER_00 47:40

Yeah, I mean, listen, there were there were already a couple quote unquote mysteries this week. You're not gonna fool me that and plus I didn't know because I didn't look it up, but I would imagine some people knew that Helen Hayes was the mom of James MacArthur. I assume that they weren't gonna make out, right?

SPEAKER_03 47:57

Yes, and ABC has had to shut down for legal reasons. The incest charges against the love boat, it would be a whole new critical.

SPEAKER_00 48:07

I mean, we're still recovering from the beginning of season two when they had that incest storyline. Yeah. Oh, God.

SPEAKER_03 48:13

Yeah, with those whispers. Uh, okay. We hear the boat horn, we hear the tick, we see the ticker tape. Then we see a boat just shooting water all over the place. I don't understand that. You're in the water, you're shooting water. What are you doing? You're not a fire boat, you're a tugboat. Like what maybe they it's so dumb. It's just dumb. What are we celebrating?

SPEAKER_00 48:33

Maybe they have to, maybe this was the the temporary solution to the flooding from a few months ago.

SPEAKER_03 48:39

Or they were trying to take up that space where Jerry Stiller, like, we can't find the Jerry Stiller footage. Get the boat shooting water on the water. What are you doing? You're just splashing around. Just like a bad thing, like you've been there before. Jesus. So weird. It's oh, we're in a cab and it's Wayne Dobson, and boy, they dressed this guy down. I don't know if they were trying to be like, this actor is so good looking that we need to shlub him up, but they shlubbed him up with glasses.

SPEAKER_00 49:08

He's just statistic attorney. What do you think?

SPEAKER_03 49:10

He's like made of millions. That's true. That's right. So it was that fashionable or was that purposely awful?

SPEAKER_00 49:18

Or was it undercover? Or was it undercover? That's the other thing, too.

SPEAKER_03 49:21

Is oh normally he has a lot of charisma, but in this case he's gonna dumb down all the time.

SPEAKER_00 49:25

You don't want to draw attention to the situation.

SPEAKER_03 49:28

Big old dumb glasses on, too. I couldn't possibly be a highway patrolman.

SPEAKER_00 49:34

They were rough. I'm pretty sure I've had I had those glasses as a child. Those are rough glasses.

SPEAKER_03 49:38

They were rough glasses. Uh knocks on the door to the adjoining room. Pat Bigelow tells him to come in. She says she's all set. She's in like a swimsuit, which like well, that second. Yeah. She asks if uh he has to go on deck with her. He explains that's his job. She says they've been locked away in a hotel room for two months on a cruise, so no one will find her and they're safely at sea. Wayne says, What if you were followed? Fair question. Also, Catherine Bach's not winning an e-got. Just want to put that out there right now. That shit's never happened. Sorry, Catherine Bach, but I mean, come on. Wayne says the trial's next week and she's the witness in a big robbery case. What? So I look it up. I go, well, what's the definition of robbery? Like, what what are you talking about? The definition of robbery, robbery requires force or fear, whereas larceny does not include either. So larceny is just stealing something. Robbery is stealing something with force or fear. You've been holed up for two months over a robbery? A robbery witness?

SPEAKER_00 50:50

What did they steal? Like, did they steal the Declaration of Independence? No kidding. Is Nick Cage somehow involved in this?

SPEAKER_03 50:56

Like, what is going on?

SPEAKER_00 50:58

I was very surprised that they went with robbery. Why would you just not go some sort of shooting? Just say right here. Especially if you're gonna end it the way they ended it, you can just say, and they pled guilty, right? They pled out. They could there is no way unless this is heat, maybe it's heat.

SPEAKER_03 51:20

Or they or they stole a cruise ship or just something. I don't know what they stole.

SPEAKER_00 51:25

So these guys probably knocked over a bodega. She was in there, they didn't shoot her.

SPEAKER_03 51:32

Now she's the witness. She got a look at their face.

SPEAKER_00 51:35

Right. Now she's the witness, and these guys, these elite crime unit is gonna go back and kill her? Come on.

SPEAKER_03 51:41

I right? Two months in hotels? Again, like, can we just get a dollar amount on what was stolen? Just just from my own curiosity.

SPEAKER_00 51:52

This is worse expenditure than the IRS sending Phyllis Diller on the boat. Like, this is like the who I assume this is California. I is you know, the the DA's office needs to be investigated. Well, remember Jerry Brown.

SPEAKER_03 52:06

The woman who remember the the one where she had all the money and she was like the worst criminal? Remember that whole thing? Or he was, remember he was a cop? Bill Converse? She was a cop, he was the worst criminal. Right, she was a cop, but yeah, we can do it. Same like what if people go into this cruise ships that have committed crime? Like, who are you this is a horrible place to hide. Well, well, I guess not if you're if you're hiding from robbery, it's not too terrible.

SPEAKER_00 52:28

Well, but the thing is, much like the stalker storyline, yeah, it's a great plan unless they find you, and then you've got nowhere to go.

SPEAKER_03 52:37

Then you're screwed, then you can you can jump or you can jump or you can get it.

SPEAKER_00 52:41

It's like it's like I'm gonna hide in this closet, which is great, unless someone finds me in the closet and then I'm dead.

SPEAKER_03 52:47

So it's like But if someone's like, okay, so you're being charged with robbery. Like that's bad enough. It's not terrible. Like, they're not gonna kill you, so they won't get charged. Like they're always gonna murder you so they don't have two years in jail.

SPEAKER_00 53:01

Like, right, that's what I'm saying. Like, unless unless it's a federal crime, but then it wouldn't be the assistric district attorney, right?

SPEAKER_03 53:08

It would be an FBI, they wouldn't be protecting her anyway. Like, why didn't they just be able to do that? No, if it was if it was they stole too close to home for chips, is pretty much what it was.

SPEAKER_00 53:17

If they stole government secrets, right?

SPEAKER_03 53:20

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 53:21

Then maybe, but that wouldn't be robbery with force or fear.

SPEAKER_03 53:24

Yeah. I I don't I don't know what happened here, but it was like it didn't match. I just let it go, but I'm like, that why not just say murder? But overkill.

SPEAKER_00 53:33

Like, why not just say put a little gravitas on this episode? Why not just say murder? Plus, it would give her at least a little more. She was acting like she was acting because she's like, nobody's coming after me, man.

SPEAKER_03 53:43

Yeah, it was it was over$26. Okay. I don't really you've spent so much money hiding me. It's it's 10 times the amount that was stolen. They stole my eight-track. No kidding. You're gonna go on a$36 cruise at night and get two rooms. Like, come on, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 54:02

It was like they stole a kid's bike. It's just a kid, it's the kid who stole Pee B Herman's bike.

SPEAKER_03 54:08

Oh, I want yeah. But but that's it. Why would you go on a cruise? Why would why would why would you logically go, okay, we're hiding out in a hotel? I know. Because in a hotel, like no one can see us, let's go on a cruise in public instead. So stupid.

SPEAKER_00 54:21

It's not just that. You clearly booked under your real names. You're gonna get Pat killed. Like, it's like, hey, who's that on the thing? Oh, assistant district attorney.

SPEAKER_03 54:36

They just change your name to fat bigelow. Just like, who's this? It's not Pat Bigelow, it's fat bigelow. It's a whole different thing.

SPEAKER_00 54:42

It's Pat Bigelow.

SPEAKER_03 54:44

Or what's the worst that can happen? The guy accused of robbery is gonna see her and go, hey, please don't testify. And then he'll just walk away. Like, what I don't there's no greater crime here.

SPEAKER_00 54:54

We saw in the Charlie's Angels episode, right? They tracked him down. That guy was a henchman. That was five million dollars, and the butterman was a villain. Like that wasn't a robbery, that was a theft.

SPEAKER_03 55:06

Right, right. This is just that was a caper.

SPEAKER_00 55:09

This is yeah, this is nothing.

SPEAKER_03 55:11

This is yeah, I don't know. Amazing. Pat Bigelow agrees to let him go on deck. Wayne Dobson go on deck with her. We're poolside, Mike, and everyone's either wearing a bathing suit or they're jumping rope or they're doing both. You see the hairiest man in the world. You better go to the spa. If you're gonna be jumping rope and splashing sweat around here, that's the hairiest man I've ever seen jump rope. What are you doing? Is that a show-off? Is that a power move? Is that an alpha male thing?

SPEAKER_00 55:41

Is that a spin-off of something else? The character next season.

SPEAKER_03 55:44

I can't wait to go to the pool here. My pool membership. I'm gonna show up with a jump rope. I'm gonna glue hair all over me. What's the matter, ladies? Doc sitting on a lounge chair reading a book. And again, on this, why is he doing this here? Like, if if you want some time, I I mean, I get it, it sets up the scene and all that, but like what that's not what you should be doing. Why? You're taking up a seat by the pool.

SPEAKER_00 56:06

He's just reading his cardiovascular surgery book.

SPEAKER_03 56:10

Yeah. It makes me nervous that he needs to catch up on that, too, by the way. What is a vein? Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_00 56:20

I don't want my doctor reading medical books and walking in and be like, when you just it's like when you discovered earlier this season a bypass surgery is bad. It's serious.

SPEAKER_03 56:28

Yeah, it's a serious surgery. Boy, oh boy. A woman in a black bikini is desperately trying to get doc's attention by stretching next to him. Jesus. Yeah. Gopher and Isaac looking on. Doc puts her on the pay no mind list. Good for you, Doc. And Isaac and Gopher just can't believe it. Two more women in bikinis are now next to Doc's chair. One of them drops a towel on his book. Like, what a what what a non-conspicuous like oops. He removes the towel and gives her a polite good morning and goes right back to his book because he needs to learn about blood and doctor things. Isaac says all that merchandise, and he's not even shopping. Where's that guy, Phil? Where's Phil when we need him? Oh shit. Doc. Where is he? He'd be great in this episode. You'd be the crunkles? Doc. The voice of Little John in the Disney Robin Hood. Oh, I wish he was back. If he was the announcer, oh make him the announcer on the uh Oh, what's the matter?

SPEAKER_00 57:36

Well, the problem was he got rolled like a carpet down a hill.

SPEAKER_03 57:40

So he'll talk industrial carpet with uh Mortimer. Oh my god. Unbelievable legend. Phil Harris should be on every week. The phone at the bar rings. Isaac answers, asks if there's a Miss Paget there. Gail Paget takes the call. Why would you take the call, Mike? You know there's a freaking stalker. Why would you?

SPEAKER_00 58:02

Yeah, but I'm like, what are the odds that he's gonna find her there?

SPEAKER_03 58:05

I mean, it's her phone stalker. No shit. And he's on the boat. Oh boy. Isaac looks sort of concerned. But not too concerned. He's not really a crisis person.

SPEAKER_00 58:18

He's just he was way more concerned about making sure Larry Wilcox got laid. So no kidding.

SPEAKER_03 58:23

And delivering drinks to Larry Wilcox. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 58:26

So we got in every one of those phone scenes, we got a lot of what's that? You want to meet me at eight o'clock. It's a lot of that. Would it have would it have blown it up to have him his voice like on, right? Like if you could have heard the other end of the call. Obviously, if Martin Short's doing Ed Grimley, you'd know it was him, not the other guy, but it's like I feel like they could have done that. That would have been a lot better than having her do terrible radio phone conversations.

SPEAKER_03 59:00

I mean, I kind of I compare it to like scenes where someone's drinking coffee.

unknown 59:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:05

Is there any liquid or is there any not liquid? It drives me crazy because it's such an easy fix. Just put some water in the cup.

SPEAKER_00 59:11

In this case, just you're gonna you're gonna murder me and throw my body off the side of the boat. Yeah, like why would you say it out loud?

SPEAKER_03 59:17

You're just recapping an instant recap of the conversation because you can't hear the conversation. And last voice on the thing.

SPEAKER_00 59:24

Last week with the um the woman who was Isaac's classmate that was using him to get Clifton Davis jail. She had a phone conversation, same exact location, actually. Yeah. And they did that well in that you got across what was happening, but she was talking, right? And I understand the stalker thing is different, but it's the same same church. You can you can do this better.

SPEAKER_03 59:47

She's just a she was a better actress last week. I mean, it seemed like I I wonder if you could line up actors and be like, all right, do the phone thing. I would love to see who could do it and make it believable that Helen Hay is good. But clearly this, you know, Gail Paget can't. She's terrible. I'd be like, I don't believe you, Gail. I don't believe you. I can't hear anything. This phone is unplugged. Yeah. What are you talking about? He goes on to say that he wasn't Oh, I'm sorry. I apologize. Agatha Winslow enters the pool area with Dano following behind. Agatha introduces Stubing to Dano, says he's a minister, and he's her nephew. Stubing looks relieved. Does that mean you guys aren't together? No, I'm just kidding. That's not.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:34

I mean, she she called him on it. Like he paused so much. Like waiting to poker face Meryl.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:42

He seems way too young to be her pastor for 10 years, in my opinion. That whole thing was weird. So he explains that Agatha set up this cruise to celebrate him being her pastor for the last 10 years.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:56

That's fair.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:57

Alright. He goes on to say he wasn't going to go on the cruise unless Agatha went with him. Agatha is over there talking to Beatrice and old Studmuff and Hollister. Hollister suggests that they all have a glass of wine.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:14

Let's go get beats.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:16

Yeah, let's go get some burner if you're from. He almost like talks like Admiral Akbar from Return of the Jedi.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:24

That's the third character, yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:29

It's a carpet. Beatrice declines. Tells Agatha and Hollister leaves to go get the wine. Hollister would do just about anything for her. Agatha says she wishes he would start by not calling her Aggie. Laughter. Agatha walks to the railing. I guess Hollister will be drinking alone. I'm like, where the hell did Hollister go? Hello.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:51

He got distracted. Right. He's gone.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:54

He's given his carpet everywhere on this boat. You know the value of this industrial blah blah blah. Beatrice tells Agatha he would love to be married to her. Like, whoa. Agatha's not having this.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:06

She's very pushy.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:08

I well.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:10

I didn't like Beatrice.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:11

I didn't either. I put her in a certain category. Yeah. Agnes is not having this. She said she would have to love someone and not have a marriage of friendship. She says, What does age have to do with it? Same emotions are felt. And at this point, Mike, I put, how good is Helen Hayes already?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:28

It's ridiculous because this is garbage.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:30

This is garbage. And she's doing circles around.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:33

Oh, she is blowing Beatrice off the friggin'. No, Beatrice is not.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:38

I'll give Beatrice points for those amazing, you know, brightly colored outfits. Those sharp yeah, but she didn't bring them from home. No, no. No, yeah. She didn't show up with it. They gave that to her to wear it.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:50

Beatrice is playing a very Eunice from Mama's family kind of character. And then you have Ellen Hayes.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:58

Like it's just I, you know, and it builds to. Oh well, I don't want to say it because I do have a note coming up. Beatrice is telling Agatha, here's where we take a turn. She's preventing Dano from getting married by, quote, being there. Beatrice says, Why do you think Dano insisted on Agatha being on this cruise? Tells her it's because Hollister's on board and Dano is hoping and praying that the cruise will bring them together. Mike, we're 13 minutes and 25 seconds into this episode. This may be one of the most villainous things we've seen this season. Like she's trying to pawn her brah brah brah brah brother off on her if she wants to deal with him.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:38

Plus, I mean, the other thing, the other thing though that we find out is the reason that Dano's not married ain't because his housekeeper's in town.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:46

No, it's because he's a boar and he just has no personality. Why wouldn't they have him in like a minister outfit or something?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:55

Like I think it would be something with a house. Why wouldn't he be with the age thing? You're right. Why wouldn't he be more of a hey kids? Like one of those kind of ministers, right? Like, I'm cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Christ is cool. Like, hey kids, let's rap. Like, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:13

Yeah, he he just seemed like a boar.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:16

Like the fact that, like, oh, I'm I'm keeping him from moving. Listen, Aggie. And nobody's ringing up Dano to come hang out with him. Like, no, he's gonna be single forever.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:27

Yeah, that offering plate is filled with coffee grounds because people are struggling.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:33

One Mexican dime. Oh, terrible. Hollister's back with two glasses of wine. He gives a cheers to Aggie. We're back at Poolside. Oh, there's Martin Short looking like a complete lunatic sitting at the pool. And how has nobody said keep keep your eye on this guy? Like something's wacky with this dude. Everyone's like, ah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:57

Because they have Julie on it. That's true. And I'm not even blaming Julie, but it's like that's not her job.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:04

Well, plus, and she wouldn't notice Martin Short unless he was about 23 years older, you know, than he is. She doesn't even register. Port Martin got shot down at the end. Gopher sitting next to a passenger leering at the ladies in bikinis. We got a lot of that this season, by the way. Like on duty.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:22

Oh, the bikini, the bikini number went way up this year. I think they figured out what they needed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:27

Oh, and wait till we get to the spa later. Good lord, they juiced it up even more. They must have had like a bikini quota, like fellas. We gotta we gotta pump up the they did pump up the bikinis.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:39

Pasner tells Gopher what a great job he has, getting to look at all these women and getting paid for it. Gopher makes a joke about paying the women, and Martin Short just laughs in this weird, yeah, odd way, and then he just like falls into the pool. Gopher points out Julie talking to Gail. Passenger said he heard her name when she was boarding. Cut to Julie asking Gail about the phone call that was received. Uh she tells Julie that the caller said he was looking forward to our vacation for six weeks. Gail said he she booked this cruise exactly six weeks ago. Julie determined it must be someone on board. At this point, I felt like I was watching an episode of Poirot. Let's get to the bottom of this, Julie.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:25

I mean, she did spend some time in trance. It's possible. It's Julie Perot.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:32

Julie. Stop it. Julie 5-0. He's just like the worst detective ever.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:37

I would watch, I would absolutely watch Julie as a detective.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:41

Oh. She leaves this and she starts like her own private McCoy. Two and a half hour episodes every other Saturday, just with McCoy. Julie and Gale looking at every man slash suspect sitting near the pool, including this guy sitting next to Gopher. Pat Bigelow sitting with Wayne Dobbs in poolside. Male passenger walks by, and he's clearly staying at Pat. Wayne looks up, and that's enough to scare the guy away. Wayne looks up from the book that he he can't even read this book. I don't know what he just looks like. It's too much. Well, it's about cardiovascular surgery. Yeah. They just hand it off. They're at a book club. But I'm a district attorney. Uh I don't know. Pat's still upset that she won't get to meet anybody with Wayne with her all the time. Let me say she is fired up for some social activity.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:33

She's been trapped in a hotel for two months, Mike. It's not safe.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:36

I know, but you know, some people get like sequestered, but they don't come out like manhungry.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:42

They're not like Well, remember that lady a couple weeks ago in the gym that was in quarantine for six weeks with those school kids?

SPEAKER_03 1:07:50

Yeah, she got a nomination. You're talking about talking about hot tub Christie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do remember her. She's on my ballot.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:57

Stop spoiling your ballot, man.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:59

Oh, I mean, we'll see if she makes my ballot. We'll see. She's definitely on the ballot. Yeah. Wayne offers to move to the other side of the deck, walks away, and reads his book, Sitting on the Ledge of the Pool. I just, all this sitting on the ledge of the pool, Mike, makes me crazy because you know it's wet.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:19

And there's just chairs everywhere. There's chairs everywhere.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:22

Like Gopher's sitting there with his wet, like white shorts. I'm like, that's not a dry and the glassware by the pool. I don't know. I know you are not a fan of this. It makes me crazy.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:32

Yeah, that's the biggest crime here. It's not the murder or the stalking.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:36

It's the It's all the glass in the pool. Jeez. Isaac sees Wayne and asks if he can get a drink for him. Mike, I didn't know what the why why who's making the drinks and where are the waiters? What why are you going around asking? That was very odd to me.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:51

He's got that's cons that is consistent, though. We have seen Isaac do that.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:56

So just a weird like, is he head bartender? They ever said, or is he just bartender?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:01

I mean, I just assume he's head bartender. I mean, the sta the staffing on the boat this year has gone way down, like except for in the dining room, you know, when they have the baked Alaska crew come out.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:12

So or the Greeks with the flaming swords. Like, what are they doing?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:16

I assume that's the same crew every week, just doing different stuff, and none of them are outside.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:20

Or you got five Greek guys with swords constantly sharpening them, waiting for their number to be called every night. Oh, what's the for dinner tonight? Greek night. Oh, opa! They're so happy. Wayne orders two Mai Tys, and he says, I'm sorry, I'm used to ordering for both myself and for Pat. Isaac why asking, Why are you over there? Why are you here and not with her? Tells me she needs some time to herself. They've been locked in a hotel for weeks together. And Isaac's kind of stunned and says that Wayne says that's my job. And Isaac, like, I want to apply for a job where I can hang out with Daisy Duke in a hotel room for two months. Wayne explains he's an assistant DA. Would they even do that?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:03

That doesn't seem like a I don't think an assistant DA would be qualified to protect, right? That's like a uh Untouchables thing. You carry a badge, you carry a gun. Like that's like that that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:14

So they bring a knife, we bring a yeah. Yeah. I guess what happened to that guy?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:18

They sliced him up in an elevator. They did.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:21

They did. It's not good. And again, what what does Wayne have to here? I didn't think about this till now. When you say protect somebody, yeah, doesn't that like inherently mean that you have something with you to help protect you know what I'm saying? Like if this is such a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:39

Does he have a gun? I assume he has a gun, yeah. Because he is an officer of the court. I assume like that's that weird, like, are you ATF or whatever? But like I assume that he has a gun. But again, why is the associate like this is like having Sam Waterston Law and Order. Right. Like, what is he doing?

SPEAKER_03 1:11:00

Like, we have friends that are attorneys. What we're doing in law school, they just give you a weapon.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:04

Dan Fielding.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:05

Wasn't Dan Fielding? Yeah. Yeah. They just give you a weapon when you finish. You're a jurisdictor. Here's your weapon. Yeah. Ah.

unknown 1:11:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:13

Our lawyer friends protecting a witness would be interesting.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:17

One specifically would be a that's a that's a sitcom right there. See, and he explains that Pat's an eye witness to a robbery, which just Wayne says that she's the only witness he's ever fallen in love with. Like, what? Okay. Says that Cupid's arrow only struck him, not her. But he hopes it happens to her too. How about you just do your job, Wayne? You're getting paid for the so he's getting paid for this, too? Yeah. Relax, Wayne Dobson. Well, they don't all agree her, Mike. Well. Interimale passenger approaching Pat up. He asks Pat if this seat is taken. He's talking about where she's sitting, which is we. I've never walked up to a lady and go, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:59

Oh, really? You aren't the same as Mark Richards? Schmacker.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:04

Well, Mark Bridges is in a different level. I got nothing. Pat says yes, but points to the chair next to her and says, This one isn't. Isaac tells Wayne that the male passenger is Mark Bridges. Uh-oh, a regular boat.

unknown 1:12:18

Bing!

SPEAKER_03 1:12:20

Trademark, a little ting, you know, register.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:23

Last one of the season. Did not like that trend this year.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:25

Oh, I didn't like it. Although I didn't mind it as much as saying it. Yeah. I didn't mind it here. I didn't love it though. No. Isaac says that he's real, quote, smooth. This is where we need Phil Harris.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:41

Hey, is that Mark Bridges? My main man. Mark Bridges.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:46

Yeah, about to get body body. Isaac says if he was him, he'd go break that up, and Wayne says he can only do that in the case of an emergency. Alright. Mark Bridges is not sharing a lounge chair with Pat. Mark Bridges gets up and says something about them having dinner together tonight. This guy works fast. Although she's like completely open to anybody walking up to her, it seems.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:10

Yeah, I mean she was gonna have dinner with somebody that night.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:13

Right. Isaac forgets that he was looking for Wayne to give him a quote cable gram. Cable gram, Mike. Not to be confused with telegram.

unknown 1:13:22

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:22

Cablegram, type of telegram sent internationally across undersea cables.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:28

So what I believe so I believe a couple weeks ago when we saw the car insurance one, that was a telegram.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:37

When Richard Mulligan forwarded ahead that he was going to be on the boat soon, I think that was a cable gram. I thought that was a cable gram because he was an international man of mystery.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:48

So unnecessary. Unnecessary. Just say just say telegram, because this got me on a whole thing. I'm like, wait, what?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:57

How do you connect to the well and we've had inconsistency with the phone lines recently, right? Well, she just made a phone call.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:05

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:07

So why don't you try to call? Like Yeah. It's weird that this gets sent the day they get on the cruise, too. Like what are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:16

Because again, this is what a C so and that's interesting too. So the the trial, they kept saying seven days, right? Right. But we've we've already determined the cruises like three. Yeah. So this could have waited. Also, why didn't they book a seven-day cruise?

SPEAKER_03 1:14:36

Right. If you're in hiding, why are you booking a three-day cruise? You gotta come back and you go like, well, shit, we still have four days. She got killed.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:41

Shot right on the deck. Like what?

SPEAKER_03 1:14:44

Yeah, the day four, she gets back and that's it.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:48

Witnessing a$63 robbery case. Unbelievable.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:52

Gun down.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:54

Wayne reads the cable gram, hands it to Isaac, and it says, Suspects have decided to plead guilty. Release Miss Bigelow from protective custody.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:02

Right. So these guys who were such a threat that they were gonna track her down and murder her. Yeah, never mind. Plead it out. Didn't go to trial, didn't do anything.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:12

Yeah, no, no, no, you're good. Yeah. Isaac tells Wayne that he has an idea. Suppose you never get this, got this tell uh cable gram. See what I mean? What we've got to do here is change you. Isaac's telling Wayne this and walks away with Wayne. So now I'm like, oh, it's a makeover show. Uh but who's making drinks? Like, who's it's not much of a makeover, sir. He took his glasses off and took like his mismatch clothes off. I don't know what. Yeah, who's making drinks? Uh-oh. We're in the C Wind spa, Mike. We love it. Which has been a huge addition to the show this season.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:50

A lot of spa scenes. It's this year's Pirates Cove.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:54

A hundred percent. Yeah. We see people almost dying, we see people hooking up. We see just everything happens in that. And God, please change the water in that hot tub more frequently. I'm just saying, there's a lot of weird, there's no film in there.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:08

That's more of a grotto at this point, I think.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:10

So yeah, it's oof. Don't drink the hot tub water, whatever you do. Stubing and Doc are exercising. I use that term lightly. What the hell was Stubing? There was one plate on that thing I could see in the back, and he's just there's no workout. What are you doing? He just looks like he's just exhausted, too.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:32

Well, I mean, they never had this much machinery in there, right? I mean, that they had to actually use.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:36

Why do you have machinery just when you're walking in the door? We have to walk around like who placed it there? What are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:43

Why a rope? Yeah, that's usually the jump rope. That's the jump rope balance beam area. What do they do?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:48

Do they balance, they just stand up the balance beam when they're not using it like a like a Murphy bed? Does it just pop down? Or I don't know what it's it's like a it's more like an A V room at the time.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:57

I assume I assume that the scene we didn't see when Mr. Barrett was after he didn't hit Kevin, he was so mad he threw him overboard.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:07

I can buy that. I can buy that. Yeah. If you see if you see a body pop up in the hot tub, just push it down. It's just Mark. You know, Mark's back, sort of. Tell Stubing that he is Stubing and Doctor exercising, talking about Doc's new approach to avoiding women. He tells Stubing he's determined. Doc asks Stubing if he wants to make a bet. Slowly roll here, Doc. For a custom-made dress uniform. Now, is that the white or is that the dark? I'm wondering considered.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:38

I guess custom could be any of those, right? There's probably, I mean, you would know this stuff better than I would, but like a are there more than one dress uniform option?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:46

Like I think so. Well, yeah, I think you can wear that white shirt, but you can wear the dark jacket over it, right? With the dark pants.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:55

I like to think it's that Rod Simpson uh blue tuxedo.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:59

Oh, I love that tuxedo. That was great. And it's so funny, he put it on, it was a it was a perfect fit. That's because Pierre has got an eye for sizing. You know, Pierre is so how do we just get Pierre now?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:13

Like so much more Pierre. Save it, save it. Oh, Jesus. You know, we're gonna spend 45 minutes on Pierre.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:20

Oh, it's gonna be my favorite part of the whole season. We have a whole podcast just on Pierre. Gopher enters the spa in a bathing suit and shirtless with sunglasses on, and he's flanked by four women in bikinis. I love that image of him standing there with those sunglasses on. It just it made me giggle.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:41

It's just funny because this Burl Smith character doesn't always exist. Like when he's actually with a lady in an episode, he's very demure and all that stuff. But when he's basically conniving or trying to win a bet or something, evil gopher, like stepbrother gopher. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:59

Oh, he's great. I love evil-ish gopher. He's wonderful. Doc tries to ignore them as ladies enter the hot tub, and he continues on the rowing machine till he breaks the arm off the rowing machine. Yeah. And we go to our first commercial break. I I do love at the end of a scene when there's a little giggle at the end like that. I love leaving it like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:21

Yeah, they had various, they had various success with the go-to-commercial scenes in terms of that this week.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:26

We're back, Dano's poolside, and he's enjoying the poolside buffet. Note love to see more mayonnaise-based salads sitting in the sun for the guest to enjoy. What the hell, man? This is the third time this season. Just a pile of tuna salad with just a pile of it, like in the sun. Imagine the flies. Are you going so fast there's no flies?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:47

Like, how much trouble would Larry Wilcox get in if Catherine Bach died of like E. coli or something?

SPEAKER_03 1:19:54

Terrible. That guy will get away with robbery. He'll get away with his$63 robbery. Jeez. Like the hospital bills would be more for the for the dysentery. How much did that cost?

SPEAKER_00 1:20:06

The cruise must have cost more than the charges.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:10

More than the robbery. Yeah. Saving money. Are we? Are we really Larry Wilcox?

SPEAKER_00 1:20:14

We've got to spend money to make money. No kidding. And then you gotta buy cruise.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:20

Don't be foolish. You know what I mean? It is what it is. More money, more problems. Isaac points out that Agatha has met a man. As we see Agatha Mortimer and that bitch but Beatrice walking off deck. She's a villain. I can't, she's boo boo, Beatrice. Dano explains that they're just friends, but he'll have to tease Agatha about this, which didn't make any sense to me at all.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:45

But well, that's they they had to that was very hand-fisted. Oh like they had to shoearn that in so there could be the oh confusion, but this guy's such a dullard. I can't even nail it.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:58

He couldn't sell why sell water to a fire. I don't even know.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:02

Catch a popsicle to an Eskimo.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:04

Yes, like waffle. Man, I needed him for a freaking stubby thing. I just I had I put I put all I bet it all on him.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:11

Listen, we save we're gonna save a lot of time on that category.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:15

Oh god. It's a real quick one. It's real. Jesus, man. Agatha and Mortimer sit at a table by the pool with Beatrice. Hollister offers to get Aggie a brochure and leaves. You get a little brochure. Here comes Dano. Beatrice points out that he's all alone with all these pretty ladies on the cruise. Agatha tells Beatrice that Dano's not trying to match her up with Hollister. Dano walks up, tells Beatrice that Mortimer and Agatha are the talk of the ship. Says he brought a suitcase with old shoes and rice. I'm guessing that's a thing. I know what the rice means, but I don't know if it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:57

I think the old shoes go to the back of the car, yeah. Was it I thought it was cans. I thought it was cans, yeah. So because you should probably like give old shoes away to those less fortunate instead of signing the back of a car.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:09

What is if you cheat on me, I'm gonna drag you from the back of this car, much like the shoes that I'm currently dragging. Is that is that a threat? Is that what that is? Is that a cobbler? Infidelity threat. I don't know. Tells Agatha he'll give her a 20% discount on his services for the wedding. Isn't he it's her it's her aunt?

SPEAKER_00 1:22:27

This is Aunt Dano trying to hold up your aunt for he's just making jokes, man, because he's a real he's a real he's a real jokester.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:34

Oh, I bet you his sermons are just whoa, nothing keeps me awake. Like a a an hour-long speech by Dano.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:40

It's like today's sermon is just turkey dinner.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:45

What do you have? This piece of white paper we're gonna talk about for 40 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:49

Man, you know look closely. I know we're gonna be here for 20 hours. So we have had who are the ministers we've had, right? Or men of faith.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:57

We've had the guy who gave away Papito, we had Peter Graves, well, the guy who had the six, the one with the orphans.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:04

Right. We had the guy that Milton Burl was was trying to kill. We've everybody is better than this guy. Obviously, Jane Wyman's better. This is the worst man of faith, person of faith we've had by miles.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:18

Because it's not believable. It's not put him in an outfit or something to help sell it, but nothing about demeanor.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:24

Who are you converting with this personality?

SPEAKER_03 1:23:26

Like, nobody no kidding. Everyone's super old. Like, there's not there's it, there's not a lot of heavy lifting. No, he's not gonna go to church for like 60 years.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:34

Like, what yeah, that congregation is not gonna be filled to the gunnels. He just didn't feel like I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:41

He didn't he didn't feel minister-like to me at all.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:46

Like, I get I get why this existed. Right. I get why he got the role, obviously. Like that was the way they were gonna get Helen Hayes, that's fine. But give me something, man. Are you this bad? I can't James MacArthur just not not even as good as last time when he was also terrible. So no.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:06

Yeah, that's Agatha's confused by all this, tells Beatrice that Dano is just joking. Beatrice tells her she set up a sightseeing trip for her and Mortimer at Cabo San Lucas. So Cabo San Lucas was the only stop. So what is this just a spring break when they all get hammer smashed down to senior frogs? Then they pile them back on. Like, is that what Aggie's doing when she hits like Sammy Hagar's there selling tequila or something? Beatrice says that the sooner it happens, the better it is for everyone. Again, villain trying to pawn. Well, it's like, well how Beatrice should have been like, look, just marry him. How many years do you think he's gonna be here? You know what I mean? Like, like four? Come on. We just had the Olympics, he'll be gone before the next Olympics.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:53

Yeah, what the hell is in 1980 carpet? Like, I mean, that's gotta be just the the the chemicals that he's been working with.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:01

Like just the cleaning systems they use, like, oh, it's look like that's why he sounds like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:07

He actually used to sound great, but he's he's just got carpet fibers.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:11

He was an alto. He had a super like like sang like a bird. Julian Gail walk and enter Gail's cabin, and then I was like, wouldn't that be the last place you would go if you think he's on board? But that's just me. The phone in her cabin rings. Surprise, surprise, it's your stalker. Saw her on deck and likes her bathing suit. She wants to meet he wants to meet Gail tonight at the Pirates Cove, and she's doing that whole thing, like you said, with that. Oh, you want me to meet me tonight? Oh, you like what you like my bathing suit?

SPEAKER_00 1:25:44

Like they couldn't afford all you have to do in that is like well, I well, it's not a compliment from you, you know, saying you like my bathing suit or something like that. You know what I mean? Like you just change a couple words and it doesn't come off like that. Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:59

Weird. I put that on the the actress.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:02

That's the writing. That's the writing. I don't think you can ever really.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:10

Yeah, yeah. Right. She's too smart to pick up the phone, exactly. She has her own issues or more. She can be Mortimer. Pat's getting ready for her dinner with Mark Bridges in a sparkly red dress. How would she know to bring a sparkly red dress if you're like being protected? All right.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:28

Because I don't think she had I I think she knows, right? Catherine Bach gets what she wants. I don't think she was worried about maybe Pierre whipped it up.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:39

Maybe. Wayne Knox and comes in. Now he's wearing a tuxedo. I'm assuming that's like Isaac got him like a sort of makeover by a tuxedo, I guess. They both admire how each of them looks all dressed up. He says he'll be watching her tonight because it's his job. She said it's gonna be hard to be romantic with Mark Bridges. You haven't met Mark Bridges. Nothing hard about being romantic with him. With Wayne looking over her shoulder. She says, If you if I need you, I'll yell. Uh they go to leave the cabin. Wayne acts like he sees someone in the hallway, tells her she better cancel her date and they can order room service, which is a horrible idea because Mark Bridges, his middle name is room service. She'll invite Mark Bridges to her cabin for dinner. Wayne says, I'll let you go to dinner in one condition, and we have to cut to the camera shot of the ship. Wonder what the condition will be. Love, love a cliffhanger. Mortimer is getting dressed and there's a knock on his door. It's Beatrice. I'm skipping dinner in the dining room, and I booked you both on the sightseeing tour, which she already said before. I don't know. She's uh She asks him when he thinks he might propose. Boy, she's really stoking the Mortimer fire.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:52

So do you think they had this conversation before they got on the boat? She must have.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:57

She must have. They're put it in his head or something. It it's clearly not the first time she's brought this up to him.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:03

Yeah, this is all a a plot. Yeah. She's yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:06

She says Abigail can start taking care of Mortimer and relieve Beatrice of her duties. Villain, Mike. Stamp double stamped right there. Update your ballots accordingly.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:17

She's not interesting enough to be on my ballot. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:19

Yeah, well, that villain list is kind of long, to be honest, this year. And it's funny because maybe the biggest biggest villain of the year came in the first episode of the year.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:30

Stop spoiling the next week's. I am so excited. I'm so excited about the stuff.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:35

Tells him that she'll miss him, but she'll manage. Wow. Mortimer poo-poos the idea of marriage at his age. Beatrice, you're never too old for love. Agatha said so herself. Just trapping, trapping both of them.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:50

But she still feels passions?

SPEAKER_03 1:28:55

We're in the Pirates Cove. Here comes Martin Short again. In the background. He tells Gopher that he borrowed the tuxedo, but the pants are too small. He sits down, rips his pants.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:08

Martin Short is notoriously a small person. Who did he borrow this tux off? That's too small.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:13

Charlie McCarthy's pants? Like, what are you doing? Isaac and Gopher walk in, walk in front behind. He's wearing the bear's pants. That's what he's doing. They get spare pants from the bear. They leave the Pirates Cove. Gail walks into the cove. Passenger was sitting next to Gopher, fixes his bow tie and gets up to go talk to Gail. Hi, Gail Page. Uh-oh. Tells her his name is Robert Redford. Ha ha ha. Then says my name is Jack Stander. She invites.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:42

Standard is a wild name.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:44

What's the ethnicity? Too much. Come from a long line of Standers. Standards. Says it'll be a dinner he'll never forget and she leaves the Pirates Cove. Oh boy. We're now in the coral dining room. Here comes Dano. Excuse me. He asked Julie to sign Agatha up to go on the sightseeing tour. Julie says she's already signed up to go on the with Mortimer. Dano looks genuinely surprised at this. Where are we? Captain's table. Agatha and Mortimer are there with two random passengers, which bothers me, Mike. You could have had some.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:25

They couldn't this week, but yeah. At least they weren't crew members. But yeah. Yeah, I hate that. That's not true. I like to think it's always the same two randos when they have randos. Just that they're a real that makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:36

I can I can get into that.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:38

Agatha drops something on the floor, and the King of Industrial Carpet, Mortimer Dale, notices the shoddy carpet job on the dining room.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:46

It's Hollister Dale, by the way. Mortimer's the real one. Mortimer Dale, Hollister.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:50

You can see what's happening here. It doesn't matter. Mortimer Hollister. It's all.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:56

Yeah. Doc enters the room and walks by Isaac and Gopher. Gopher congratulates him on spending the whole day without a woman. Doc says he doesn't miss them and he's skipping he's skipping poker night. Gopher thinks that Doc is secretly with a lady.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:13

Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:14

Subterfuge. Subterfuge. We're we're back to Gail. She's lighting cabins in her candle. Boy, she is dressed for romance.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:22

So if you're Gail, you don't know what this guy's intentions are, right? You think this you are you are literally inviting a stalker back to your if this is Ted Bundy, you're dying in a few minutes and going right out that window. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:42

100%.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:43

This was a bad plan.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:45

Yeah, I uh yeah. It's just yeah, it's it's not a good, it's not a good look at this point. Sorry, I'm just looking at wow. Sorry, folks. Sorry. He comes in all distracted.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:03

He comes in because they he's keeping the date and he starts to pretend, oh, I like this restaurant and stuff like that. And she immediately spills champagne on him. Oh yeah. And it was like a clearly like, oops, but not. And so the whole guise of that is to get him to get out of his tuxedo and he has to hop into her snuggly robe. Yet again, more robe action.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:25

Oh, that robe this week is is a Phyllis Diller robe, too.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:30

So yeah, she throws it out. He walks out with the Phyllis Diller robe on after she throws his clothes out the porthole. Number one, I didn't know those portholes would open.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:39

That doesn't seem safe at all. No. That's a thing. Oh, do you know what it is? It's probably the unlisted rooms of portal extra.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:46

It's the only one with an unsealed port window. Ugh. So he's gone. The phone rings. It's her stalker. She tries to. Well, he hasn't walked out yet. I'm sorry. He hasn't walked out. He's still in there with the Phyllis Dilly robe. The phone, why why she would answer the phone right now in the middle of all this, just beyond me.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:06

It's a stalker. He's waiting for her at the bar. She apologizes to Jack. Jack calls her a menace and he walks back to his cabin. I'll tell you this is where Laugh Track really helps. You know, he's walking back. He had socks on too, Mike. He has none of his clothes but his socks and the Philippiola robe.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:24

The upshot obviously is she's accusing him of being a stalker. Then the stalker calls, but she's still accusing him of being the how can you be here? Like it this is where it went. Okay, we're clearly like this is not serious. That's fine. Yeah. But it was just like acting.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:38

Acting, Mike. I was in this and I was like, I can't wait till I talk to you about this because I was like, eh. We go to our second commercial break back at the back to the captain's table. What I I wrote down Mortimer, and it's not the right name.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:53

It's okay. It's Hollister, but it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:55

Hollister. I don't know what happened. I don't know how it morphed.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:57

Because his name is Mortimer, I think. His real name is Mortimer. It looks like Mortimer.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:02

Hollister, Mortimer, whatever the hell his name is. He's still talking to flooring to Stubing. Stubing asked for he's probably like, you should probably have better flooring underneath your shoddy captain's table. Like, what's going on?

SPEAKER_00 1:34:14

He really should go check out those carpets that got damaged in the flood.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:18

He really should. He you know what? I bet you they worked with him to replace them all, too.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:23

I don't know that he's a Los Angeles carpet king.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:27

No, no. So big mistake asking him about a rug. He excuses himself to go get sun lotion for Beatrice, which is a weird thing to go get during dinner.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:36

I think it was supposed to be like aloe. I had the same thought, but I thought it was. Aloe in the 80s? Well, my guess is you you you use suntan lotion as aloe, but that that was my thought.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:46

Because you're right. Fair enough. I remember getting a sunburn in the early 80s. You just dealt with a sunburn in the early 80s.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:53

Yeah, you just got back out there. You just got back out there.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:56

It'll turn to tan.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:57

Get back in the sun. You get a really hot shower to burn this thing out.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:00

That's it. And I'll see you at dinner. Bye. Go play outside. What? Agatha tells Dano that she's spending the day with Hollister tomorrow, and she's sure that she'll that he'll want to see some Mexican carpeting. Ask Dano to join them. He declines to his company. And Agatha does not look happy about tomorrow. Pat and Mark Bridges are having dinner, and Mark is just being Mark. You know what I mean? Just letting it all go. Wayne's laughing at all the things Mark are telling. Mark's telling Pat. Mark wants to know who Wayne is and why he's dining with them. Imagine Pat's like, no, I can't tell you. That's just show Mark doesn't care. Mark doesn't give two shits because he's not going anywhere.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:45

I'm not gonna murder you.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:47

I'm sitting with Daisy Duke, whatever. I don't care. Mark, we'd be so good together. A Leo and a Taurus. Wayne interrupts and asks Mac or asks Mark to pass him the cream. Mark again. You're so beautiful. Wayne, thank you. Mark, Pat, I've never said this to a woman before. And Wayne, pass the sugar, please. Mark's done with both of them, or is he? And leaves.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:12

Yeah. For now.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:13

Pat's pissed at Wayne, tells him to never speak to her again. Boy, she was all fired up. Like. Jeez, because you didn't have to work hard to get Mark. They didn't even need this dinner. I mean, let's go.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:24

Well, but I think that's the thing. I think she knew that.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:26

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Well, I mean, you know what you're getting when you when you Yeah, the two of them had the same idea. I think. 100%. So why didn't he just try to whisk her away back to his well, because Wayne, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:39

Because Wayne would have come, yeah. It's it's basically the Eve Plum thing from a few weeks ago.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:44

It totally is.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:44

Although this guy's using more uh this guy's better than he didn't play as much electric baseball. No.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:53

Doc's entering his office with Beatrice, tells her that his that her sunburn is serious. I don't know how serious it can be because she was wearing long sleeves and a pantsuit on deck for part of the afternoon. I don't know how that works. Doc and Gopher are sneaking. I'm sorry, Gopher and Isaac are sneaking around trying to catch Doc with a woman. They open his office door and hear Doc talking to Beatrice in his exam room. And it sounds bad for Doc as he applies some lotion to her arm and neck. Doc asks Isaac and Gopher if they're in his office for treatment. Tells him that they have a nasty and suspicious mind. Tells him that it's going to cost them a bundle once they get back to Los Angeles. There's an announcement, Mike. The boat has arrived in Cabo, San Lucas, and if you look to your right, you will see some frolicking porpoises.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:46

I thought that was helpful.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:48

I don't know why it just made me get it. I just I don't know it didn't.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:51

It's a rare detail.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:54

Wildlife with Julie. Yeah. I think that porpoises work for the ship, too. Like it's one of those like photo ops. One of those. Vicky asked Dano if he's going ashore. He tells her maybe later. Vicky asked him about being a minister. He says he gets to go to a lot of weddings. That's great, Dano. Really, really light the world on fire.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:15

Please sell the faith to the youth.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:18

Dano the thespian slash minister. Oh, he's awful. Vicky. Oh, God. How can you tell when you're really in love? Vicky asks these hard-hitting questions for 12. It's just like Vicky's just trying to like he's just trying to get the hell out of here. Have you heard anything about a motorcycle named Street Hawk? Dano, marrying love is is one of the better kinds. Make you tingle from head to toe.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:44

God, this marrying love thing was awful. This was just so bad. They were trying to get this marrying love over as some sort of just feel it in your feet.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:56

Just might be surprised. Hollister hasn't felt his feet in years. Hollister and Agatha walk up. Hollister's already excited about Mexican drugs. I mean, Mexican rugs. Mom sorry. That's a different show. I want some cocaine. Agatha reluctantly leaves with Mortimer. Ghostwalking with Doctor tells him they should call off this bed. No more. For Doc's sake, all the pressure. Doc says, I jump rope until the feeling goes away. It's all in his mind. He says his mind is in total control and he walks away. And I'm thinking, well, that wraps up that storyline. We're good. Looks like he's getting a free meal and a free dress.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:41

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:45

It's all no loose ends here. Enter Stubing. Ask Gopher if Doc is still the man of steel. Boy, this guy's gotta be a legend among his friends. Just a legend. Stubing tells Gopher that Trudy Harbor boarded the ship today from the Caribbean cruise. Oh, the one where the ship went through the Panama Canal? Like, is that the Charlie's Angels cruise?

SPEAKER_00 1:40:08

Yeah, so she came off the Charlie's Angels cruise and met them in Mexico, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:13

I guess that's a hell of a do you have a seaplane? Like, what are we doing?

SPEAKER_00 1:40:17

I wonder if that's how Jill St. John's husband found her. Like maybe that's maybe there is a third cruise route we're not thinking of.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:25

Or maybe that woman's husband, she tried to, he tried to track the ship by going parasailing to follow it from the Caribbean. Remember, he had that terrible accident. Poor Isaac. Poor Isaac. Gopher says that Doc spent a month's salary on flowers for her. Because flowers were expensive in the early 80s. Stubing suggested. Oh they have flowers on the boat? Yeah, like what are you doing? Just give her a handful of mayonnaise salad with a flower sticking out of it. Waste not want not. Stubing suggested Gopher take Trudy to see the doctor, and it's on. We're gonna we're about to go.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:57

A rare Stubing getting involved in the mess. I thought that was nice.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:01

Yeah, I did too. I like it when that when then when gopher and gopher and stobing don't work together very often.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:07

But when they do, it's good.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:08

It's nice. And we go to our third commercial break. Back from break, Isaac's in his disco owl uniform, maybe the uniform of the season. I don't know if there was an award for that. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:20

No, I got no, I got one for next week. Oh, good. Good.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:24

Pat's on one end of the bar having a drink. Wayne is on the opposite side of the bar having a drink. Isaac asks, What happened? Wayne, the new me, outdid myself, and he puts his glasses back on because now he's old me again. It's a Clark Kent Superman situation. It really is, dude. Look, Mike, I'm Superman. I'm Clark Kent. Isaac walks up to Pat, asks if she wants to talk. Pat goes on about being a witness and how it disrupts her life. She wasn't supposed to tell people though, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:41:56

I mean, I guess theoretically you don't say it, but you know, small claims court. Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:04

I mean, right? Isaac tells Pat that Wayne has gone above the line of duty. Suggests that she takes another look at Wayne. Pat asks if Isaac really thinks so. Isaac says yes, and Pat wants another drink. Tells Wayne to go talk to her now. He takes his glasses off. He's back, he's Superman again. And he's gonna go talk to her. Okay. Oh, we're in Doc's office with Gopher and Trudy. Uh-oh. Trudy says this'll be fun. Laughs at the idea of Doc not being interested in women. So Wayne is now Superman again. He took his sunglasses off. He's gonna talk to Pat. Alright. We're in Doc's office. Oh, Trudy. Enter Trudy. She laughs. There's no way that Doc is gonna be able to resist Trudy. Trudy knows this. I do wish that she was actually in that episode. I do like when they do that. Maybe a missed opportunity, maybe not, but like have her in there more. Or have her in that in that Charlie's Angels episode. Just you know what I mean? Just gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Provide that continuity.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:16

That'd be a nice, like, because technically the season did begin. The love boat canon began with that Caribbean cruise, because that was before the first love boat episode. So it was a nice, you know, bookmark or book ad, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:29

Why not? Why not? Just throw her in there. Maybe maybe you do it after, like a like a Star Wars, you know, the new version. You have to do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:36

Do you think she works? Do you think she works for the Butterman?

SPEAKER_03 1:43:40

Oh, I can only hope she works for the Butterman. I mean, that would be ideal. That'd be a nice puzzle piece. Yeah, that's not good there. Doc leaves his exam room and sees Trudy. Uh-oh. He invites Trudy into the treatment room and gives Gopher a dirty look. Now, the other thing is Trudy's been on the ship the whole time. How do we know?

SPEAKER_00 1:43:59

No, not the whole time. She just got on. Right, yeah, yeah. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:03

That's right. Okay. Gopher listens at the door as Trudy sits on the exam table. He asks her medical questions. She takes off her shirt to expose a bikini top. Tells Doc that she's had chest pains. Uh-oh. Be strong, Doc. Good lord, be strong. And the thing is, the bet, it's not going to break the bank. He's a doctor. Oh, I got to buy you guys dinner.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:24

Yeah, but there's a pride. I mean, ultimately he got his cake and ate it too.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:28

So Gopher's waiting on the couch in Doc's waiting room. Trudy tells Gopher that Doc told her to take an aspirin. Gopher is shocked that Doc resisted Trudy. And Gopher says that Doc is a man of steel. Cut to Doc vigorously jumping rope in the exam.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:47

He knew he was going to get the jump rope in.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:50

Pat and Wayne are on deck, leaning on the railing. Wayne said that he was afraid to tell her how he feels because she's so attractive. And they smooch. Boy, they just jumped right into the smooch.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:01

I guess the thing is they had been together for two months, so if there was anything, that yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:07

So they just screwed up moonlighting by having a smooch. That screwed that whole show up when those two got together.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:12

That's usually what happens, yeah. Ugh.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:14

Pat says the protective custody isn't so bad. Uh-oh. Wayne asked her if she'd want to see him after the case was over, which is crappy because he knows the case is over. Pat says she wants to see him for a long, long time. Wayne says, good. Oh stupid. This is such a stupid thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:34

This is such a stupid move. It's just like, wait a day. Wait a day and say you wait a day and say you got it. Right, exactly. This is there, there must be so many criminals going free in Los Angeles because this guy's decision-making skills were terrible. He's terrible.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:51

It's just awful. Pulls out the cable gram, tells her that it came on the first day. Boy, this guy's just as dumb. Just box around.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:00

Keep on digging that hole, but uh.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:02

Pat's not happy. Tells him not to touch her and not to come near her, tells him never to speak to her again, and this time she means it. Well, I wonder how many times she said that to him.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:11

Well, at least twice.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:13

Gail knocks on a cabin door, and Jack Stander answers with shaving cream all over his, you know. She says he owe that she owes him a new tuxedo, and she's gonna go get one for him now. We're close, Mike, to having a fantastic conversation here. Jack was shaving, leaves it all, leaves with her with shaving cream still on his face and a towel around his neck. And they walk up to what I assumed at first was the gift shop.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:39

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:40

And boy was I wrong. I guess this is the tailor shop.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:45

So it's like a tuxedo tailor shop. Right. Clearly designed, they have multiple options. I guess they tailor them, and I assume they have like rentals, which does make sense in the context of we've always talked about how all these people have tuxedos, especially like out of nowhere. So that this exists makes a little bit of sense.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:08

What I don't think you remember the character, the Shakespeare guy, he had to get a tuxedo, like but he didn't get a tuxedo.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:13

He got an officer's uniform. Oh, that's Sonny Bono had to get red buttons handout jackets. You know what? Why are this is that was my problem with the tuxedo shop existing. Is it explained a lot, but not all of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:28

So I mean, I guess it's there if you have the money to purchase one, but maybe there are other routes if you don't.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:34

Truly could have gotten Sonny Bono a tuxedo. He's like a 23 small.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:41

You can yeah, yeah, yeah. You can make four tuxedos out of one thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:45

Yeah, you can just take one off a wedding cake.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:47

It's like a lawn jockey size, yeah. They walk in and and someone is locking the door. Who is this guy, Mike? Who the hell is this guy?

SPEAKER_00 1:47:59

The proprietor of the tuxedo shop, Pierre. Oh. And he is in, he's only in it for like 90 seconds. He makes the most out of these. I want more Pierre. I want so much more Pierre. He was so good because he definitely had that, like, you know what they were going for, right? Like a little effete, a little French, and he's obsessed with Jack Standard's shoulders, all that stuff. But he also is ready to close. He has like a sassy line about she's like, Are you closing? He's like, No, I'd like to get a really early head start on the next day. He was good. But he's only in there for a little bit, but it was it was amazing. It was an amazing cat. And again, we talk about it all the time. You could have a version of this everyone have some new. Yeah. Right. The fact that we only are now getting to this is is kind of obscene. But yeah, I hope we see more appear.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:53

You could do so much with this with weird like cameos and it it yeah. It was great. It was absolutely it was fantastic. Gail says she wanted to buy Jack a tuxedo. Mystery guy says that Jack does need some clothes and opens the gift shop. Well, I wrote gift shop and I wrote, is this a different shop? Like, obviously, this is a different shop. Blue Tuxedo, too. I don't know if I'd go blue tuxedo. That's a very specific thing. I think it was subtle, I think. Yeah. The phone rings in the shop. Like what it's Gail Stalker again. How does this guy what how does he find all these phone numbers? Number one.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:32

Well, I assume those were on a I assume those are on a list.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:36

Yeah. Uh she tells him to stop calling her, tells Jack about the new Phantom Caller, and says that he's still out there. Well, Jack knows this. Because he's not in the Philly's Diller robe. He knows it's not him. And we go to our fourth commercial break. Here we go, Mike. Agatha's on the bridge with Stubing. Stubing wishes her the best. Agatha says it's Not official yet. Stubing knows that he's just not right for Agatha. He's no Dan Winslow. Agatha says that she had 35 wonderful wheel thunder. Easy for you to say. Agatha had 35 wonderful years with her husband. But marrying Mr. Dale will serve a purpose. Agatha says getting older is not so is isn't so bad. Talks about feeling useless and getting and giving instead or getting instead of giving. I don't know what the hell's going on here. Stubing says she'll have a marriage in convenience. He keeps thinking that something's missing between her and him. And he gets his coffee thing that with no steam and stands in front of a green screen. Like why why is he having a conversation there? He's not doing anything. There's nothing going on. It's such a clue. No kidding. It's called Long Conversations with Older People.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:03

He's on Bravo. He's the Andy, he's the Andy Cohen of old Season of the Olds.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:10

He has all the wild people on here. Isaac and Gopher in Gopher's Cabin. Gopher's east dropping eavesdropping on Doc. He planted a microphone behind Doc's mirror.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:21

How does this technology work so well? Like Gopher's got this.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:25

Well, a part of me was like, I was hoping it'd be a wire. So if like Doc pulled the wire, like the headphones. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:51:30

Like or it just ran, like pulled the carpet up. Yeah. And Hollister could have fixed it, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:51:40

Doc's acting like he figures out there's a microphone, he acts like there's a lady in the cabin. Gopher thinks he wins the bet. Doc calls Gopher a nerd. Yep. Gopher shows up a big thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:49

Gopher's been called a nerd twice now. I think uh our boy, what's his name? Called him a nerd, too.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:57

That guy. Oh god. A lot to say about him next week, hopefully. Doc shows Gopher, the Joe's Gopher, the microphone he planted. Gopher tells Doc that if he was a good doctor, they'd let him practice on land, which was kind of funny because we sort of talked about that earlier. Yep. Pat's in the Pirates Cove with Mark Bridges, this guy again. He's trying all over again. Yep. He's smoothing he puts a smooch on Pat and like Pat does not participate in the smooch, which makes for a very like Yeah, it is weird. Kiss Against Your Will, sort of like weird. Like kissing that aunt goodbye that you didn't want to have to.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:34

Yeah, yeah. Kissing kissing somebody who doesn't kiss back even a little bit, that's awkward, but not for Mark uh not for Mark Bridges.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:41

Mark Bridges gives zero shits. Fine by me. Put it this way.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:45

Mark Bridge, that's not the first pair of lips that Mark Bridges kissed that were not responsive.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:49

100%. 100%. He's a regular. Wayne sees this and Wayne leaves the cove. Dana was talking to Agatha about life when Agatha get when Agatha brings it up. This marriage, she describes her new life as perfect. Back to Stubing's office. Stubing and Gopher are talking about losing the bet to Doc. Stubing says a tailor-made suit cost a fortune these days. Stubing asks if he can set a no-betting rule and make it retroactive. And with that, we go to our fifth commercial break. Alright, we're getting moving here.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:27

Nothing really happens in the back end of this thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:31

Gail and Jack are on deck. He's wearing his new blue tuxedo. Tells her he's gonna stay with her night and day as long as his stalker's around. But when the stalker leaves, he's anyway. Enter Martin Short again. Sees Gail kiss Jack, taps Jack on the shoulder, asks if he can basically, those are his smooches. I'm like, you can't cut in on a smooch.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:52

Oh I don't know what those rules are, but I was like stupid trying to cut in on a smooch.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:56

Like, yeah, you don't you don't do that. Yeah, Martin Short, I believe those are my kisses. Tells her that she's fickle because they had a date. Why didn't why didn't Jack just like deck this guy just to like show or throw him back in the pool or something?

SPEAKER_00 1:54:10

Well, I mean, I think they're trying to portray that he's non-threatening and stuff, but yeah, like yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:17

I mean, he says here he rips out every contact number for her to include her mother's number and her dentist.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:23

So the one thing that they did about it. Yeah, I feel like they were trying to cover a little bit, or maybe I'm giving them too much credit, that he worked in the shipping, he worked in the shipping department. So theoretically, he would have like more access to location information than others.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:43

He lived in a very different world back then, too. I agree, but so it had to be small as hell for him to do this.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:49

But I'm saying him in the shipping industry would have more than you or I would have back then. So still just uh I don't think Gail put a lot of lockdown on her life either, if her idea was to go on a boat for two days.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:06

Well, plus, why wouldn't Jack just like pick this guy up by the jacket? I mean, he had just said that I'm gonna stay with your day and night, stay with you day and night as long as his stalker's around.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:16

Because I think he was non-threatening. I think that's what it was. Yeah. I think if he had been a that was Rosie Greer coming over.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:23

He'd be like, gotta go, gotta go. Sorry, splash.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:27

Jumps right in the portal.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:29

Doc's in bed reading a book, shirtless. Knock on his door, it's gopher. He's there to tell him that Doc won and he apologizes. Doc says, Don't even worry about it, the bed is off. He says that his willpower got him through. It was simultaneous. The cabin door closed with Gopher leaving, just as the bathroom, the timing on this was amazing.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:53

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:53

Just as Trudy's exiting Doc's bathroom. Yep. And Trudy's well dark.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:58

They're very good at like door timing. Like the Ray Bulger one was awesome. Like they they have weird. So this, when she walks out of the cabin, we get a oh, which we also got, we forgot to mention, when she's chucking Jack Standard's clothes out the portal, yeah. We also get a oh weird soundtrack.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:18

It's like we don't just have a laugh track, we have aww. Right, yeah. Well. Mark Bridges is walking Pat to her cabin. Pat tells him thank you, tells him goodnight. Mark says it's still early. It's always still early with Mark.

SPEAKER_00 1:56:35

It's never bedtime around Mark Bridges.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:37

He sleeps like a fruit bat. He just doesn't sleep much upside down. Invites himself in for a nightcap. Pat says it's really getting late. Mark asks if she's nervous. Boy, he's just like, it doesn't really matter if you are. Mark's coming inside your cabin.

SPEAKER_00 1:56:52

Right. Yeah. Yeah. In a few ways.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:55

Yeah. Like he gives zero craps. It's not. I don't need you to say yes. Okay, I just, you know, I'm Mark. Tells Mark she's going to slip into something comfortable and opens Wayne's door. If I was Wayne, I would just shut it. Good night. Goodbye.

SPEAKER_00 1:57:11

You made your choice.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:12

Yes, right? Mark gets second thoughts when Wayne says there might be bullets flying. Mark decides it's time to go, even though he's a what? Black belted karate. Sure, you are Wayne Chatter. Yeah, sure. He's doing all these chops and stuff. Oh, he's got that Elvis karate, you know. Pat's Pat thanks Wayne. Tells Wayne that she's been a dummy. Has she been a dummy? I mean, he kind of said no, no, no, you're you're in my custody. It's sort of kidnapping in a weird way. Maybe it's a bit of a stretch, but I think she was a dummy.

SPEAKER_00 1:57:49

I think they were, I think it was more she was a dummy in that you never saw the one that was in front of you the whole time, right? Like that was probably more than the actual her reaction to him pulling out that telegram was absolutely correct.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:01

Seemed natural and normal.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:03

So and then they smooch. All's good, all's well that ends well, apparently. Although that this Pat person does not seem like it's very difficult to quote unquote start a relationship with Pat. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:18

Well, I also feel like I bet you the guys who pled guilty for the robbery before it went to trial feel pretty stupid now because I feel like any lawyer could have broken her on the stand pretty easily.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:28

So easy. So easy. Or imagine if Mark, that guy Mark represents the other people. You know what I mean? He's just doing and Vicky are playing with string. Okay. Agatha and Dano walk up. Agatha's getting married and invites Vicky. Vicky asks Agatha if her toes are tingling. Marion kind of love. And this upsets Agatha and walks away. Oh, with this Marion kind of love.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:54

I hate the Marion kind of love.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:56

We get it. Dano joins her at the rail for another attempt at acting.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:01

Oh. This was this was Jesus. This was a mismatch. We've seen a lot of bad acting on the railing, but I don't think we've ever seen a we've never seen a blowout like this on the railing. And she had to know it. I think she was probably coming out. I think she was probably like given it like she was kind of trying to half-ass it just to get him.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:23

Let me dumb it down to make my son look better.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:25

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:26

She tells him that he'll he'll now have a chance to find a wife. She wants to give him his freedom. And Dano, nobody is running off to get married unless it's overwhelming and special. And a tingle in the toes.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:39

You know, the toe-tingling kind. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:41

Here we go with that. And we go to our final commercial break. Back in Los Angeles, Martin Short leaves the ship, gives Jack a bunch of dimes. Uh-uh. Oh god. Tries to talk to Julie and tells him that she's with a wrestler.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:58

Martin Short makes a swift exit. And that you know my ears perked up. Like, name one. Name them.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:02

So Julie. Julie. Julie's season ends much better than it begins. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:10

So she only got chanot once this season. At least they didn't. She didn't get anything this season. No relationships, no nothing.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:18

Nothing at all.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:19

And she that one guy didn't even want to talk to her. Remember? He was asking Vicky questions because he didn't want to deal with Julie because he knew.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:26

Closest was the travel agent's travel agent.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:28

Yeah. Pat and Wayne are leaving together. They run into Mark, and he wants nothing to do with either one of them.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:35

I'm going back to Mexico.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:37

He's just reboarding the ship now. I'm just going to go get my new.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:40

That's why he's a regular. Interestingly enough, Larry Wilcox probably could have made a few cases on Mark if he had just looked around a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:49

Oh, it wouldn't have taken long. Give me three days with Mark, and we'll get many felonies. Gopher offers to buy Doke and buy Doke, buy Doc an expensive dinner. Trudy walks up, talks about what she and Doc did last night, and Gopher's like, huh? Which I kind of wish it would have ended there. Like him chasing them the screw, but no. More Dano. Agatha and Dano are leaving the ship. Agatha tells Mortimer, which we know is not the right name, about Mexican Tile on their Sunday school floor. Hollister, this is a this is a hard pass for him.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:25

He leaves the ship with Beatrice.

SPEAKER_00 2:01:27

He's like, I'll uh I guess I'll see you from time to time. Don't tile blasphemy.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:34

Agatha says maybe I shouldn't have should have held on to him. He was beginning to call me Agatha. That's where we end season three. Season three. I like that they gave her the last word. I really do, because she was awesome.

SPEAKER_00 2:01:49

Trying to remember, I should have looked it up. I'm trying to remember where they ended previous seasons. It's probably worth looking up at some point, but this obviously was the best in terms of final shot having Helen Hayes in there is pretty good. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 2:02:03

100%.

SPEAKER_00 2:02:04

All right. Totals in a recap. We will litigate most of this next episode with the stubbies. Best episode, worst episode. But for King of the Mountain, we talked about it. Was this the only this was the only 90 minute we had this season?

SPEAKER_03 2:02:17

Yeah. Yeah. Because we had a bunch of two parters, but right.

SPEAKER_00 2:02:20

And like I said, this when you talk about it and you break it out and you realize not much really happens after the first act, it was fine. It was absolutely fine. There were some performances I really much I really enjoyed. There were some performances I really didn't enjoy. And I do think the biggest problem I had with it was I don't I think if they had just lifted one of the two criminal ones out of it, it probably would have flowed a little better, but that probably would have meant more, you know, James MacArthur. And I don't know that that was a good idea either.

SPEAKER_03 2:02:53

If you had to get rid of one of them, the storylines, to make it a an hour episode, three storylines, which of those two would you?

SPEAKER_00 2:03:01

Probably the st probably the stalker, because I feel like you could have dropped that in. That was a C. Yeah, you could throw that. You could have dropped it in anywhere, and while we think it was cool because Martin Short was in it, at the time, well, he was a guy at the time, but the point is like you could have put three different actors in that and it would have been the same thing.

SPEAKER_03 2:03:21

I agree. I agree. I like that Martin Short went for it though.

SPEAKER_00 2:03:24

Well, I think, yeah, I mean that I guarantee you that was one of those we like what you do on SCTV, just do that here, which is fine. Perfect. And either of them would have been fine to lift out and just drop somewhere else, but to have both of them at the same time just kind of felt like overkill. I will say another good addition of like the crew being mainly a storyline, which makes the one the couple that we've had this year that were bad very surprising because generally those are very good.

SPEAKER_03 2:03:58

Yeah, no, I agree. I completely agree.

SPEAKER_00 2:04:01

But we will talk about best and worst episode and finalize those in a couple weeks. Captain of the Week.

unknown 2:04:08

Come on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:10

The biggest star we've ever had on the show. And she acted, she acted as though she was the biggest star. She was amazing.

SPEAKER_00 2:04:17

Yeah, no, it was like King of the King.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:20

Captain of the Week, hands down.

SPEAKER_00 2:04:21

Yeah, it was it was cool. It was cool because I feel like there are very few people. Uh I'm sure they will exist, right? But there are very few people that I have never seen, but I'm very aware of that we will get on this show, right? She was a pleasant surprise. And that was just, and again, it was the perfect cap to season of the olds. Like that's we started that way, we finished that way. I would say this is more in the a Meechi Jane Wyman than like the Lauren Green, but but there's all kinds of flavors, you know. But it was it was really good. And I will I will say this Stubing ends up getting most of the run with the great old actors. He does hold his own. You know, it's not you know, it's like he knows how to do that, and I think they they found that spot. And I think I'll be curious to see in future seasons if this is just kind of what it is, that it isn't an older person show. Because if you really think about it, it was not a lot of young people stuff. No, not this year. No, we only had kids in the back half, we didn't have many like college kind of or like young 20s kind of stuff. So I wonder if that was a choice or just a coincidence. I'll be curious to see how that looks going forward.

SPEAKER_03 2:05:44

Well, it's funny. In in in a season where we add a new 12-year-old cast member, it's odd that like you're gonna add you're gonna inject youth, and then you're also but the season of the olds is just very much a thing. Like, I just and I do agree, I think her performance was the perfect cap for this season of the olds. Absolutely perfect. I can't imagine another guest star this season fitting in more perfectly for this season.

SPEAKER_00 2:06:11

No, we we said it in the beginning of the year, and we said it kind of as a joke and stuff like that, but like that really held true the whole 100%. It was just kept coming. Yeah, that will definitely reflect itself in a couple weeks when we do the awards, because that is I wonder if it's next next year too.

SPEAKER_03 2:06:26

I wonder if it's just that direction or the available Right.

SPEAKER_00 2:06:30

I don't know. I guess we'll find out.

SPEAKER_03 2:06:31

I guess so.

SPEAKER_00 2:06:32

Well, worst of the week, walk the plank.

SPEAKER_03 2:06:35

That's a tough one. I I this I'm I'm torn on this one.

SPEAKER_00 2:06:44

Well, you you take who you're gonna take, so I can take the other person, and they'll both get represented because I think that's what we're where we're at.

SPEAKER_03 2:06:50

Well, I mean, Dano was just the worst. Right. Yeah. It just there's no I I don't want to give him anything. But yeah, he was terrible. I mean, he he was no better. He might have been worse in his second appearance of the season than he was in the first.

SPEAKER_00 2:07:03

Oh, he definitely was because I think the first the first episode was as much storyline itself was bad. You could have done exactly word for word everything, just with somebody with a little more juice.

SPEAKER_03 2:07:15

Just something, man.

SPEAKER_00 2:07:16

Like this was very this was actually very felyan, right? Except I don't know. He might just be bad at acting. I I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 2:07:24

Like it's funny you say that because I was having the same thought. I don't think it's the same thing because I think he's actually putting effort. Right. You know what I mean? He doesn't it doesn't appear to be mailing it in, but I don't know how much worse it would look if he was, you know.

SPEAKER_00 2:07:40

I just feel like you know how like war in baseball as a stat is like above replacement level. Like I feel like there are there, I would say if you took everybody we've had on this boat male in that age range, yeah, 90%, 95% of the people could have done a better job.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:00

That's fair. I would say completely fair. He was on that's was he amongst the five five percent? Was he is he in the in the in the five percent like worst?

SPEAKER_00 2:08:11

He's one of the worst, it's one of the worst performances of a person who's an actual actor. Well, he's known for something, and then you just come from there and you're like actor, right? You know, like yeah, Ozzie Nelson's other kid was worse, right? But he's not an actor, like you know, the the musicians were bad, but like it was bad, man.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:31

And and even like it's not like he had a ton of lines, like it it wasn't like to me, it seemed like it was harder to screw this up than it was to be successful because he only had a few lines. You're with your mom.

SPEAKER_00 2:08:42

Well, like it's like you know who would have been great?

SPEAKER_03 2:08:45

Anybody.

SPEAKER_00 2:08:46

Mark's brother. Yeah, Mark's brother would have been great. Mark's brother would have been great. The the guy from last week that actually was in the or a couple weeks ago that was in the car wreck thing with the crutches.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:58

Oh, he would have been great.

SPEAKER_00 2:08:59

He would have been fine. Like you could have gone with any of these medium guys that we've had in the last few months. Even James Standard, honestly, if you had just flipped that over, maybe he would have been a little better.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:11

No, I agree. They they didn't give him they they tried to set him up for success here.

SPEAKER_00 2:09:16

It's it's not it's not like the writing was amazing, but everybody knows what that role is supposed to be, and he just could not hit it.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:22

He couldn't do it. He couldn't know, he couldn't carry his own weight, unfortunately. Sorry, Dano.

SPEAKER_00 2:09:26

I will be curious to see when Gail Padgett comes back, just because I do want to see. I feel like that was more story writing, like script writing than acting, so I will want to see that, but I just hate the I just hate the phone repeating kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:42

Stupid.

SPEAKER_00 2:09:43

I know you're not gonna have and I will say this now. We've had three in the last two weeks that at least start off as trying to be quote unquote serious, and they all are not, and that's fine, right? You don't want murder, you don't want murder on your boat or whatever, but let's let's spread that out a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:58

Yeah, no, I agree. I agree.

SPEAKER_00 2:10:00

All right, that is totals and recap for the season finale of season three.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:04

And for the last time in season three, check out Hit and Season Patreon, absolutely hammered, whether you're cheering from the stands or tuning in from home. This is the podcast you need. So grab your bat, your cap, and your Phillies Pride, crack open a beer and enjoy a weekly Phillies happy hour with Chris Jones, Justin Clue, and our very own Mike Robertson. Check out Absolutely Hammered on the Hitting Season Patreon. You can find us everywhere and anywhere you find your audio podcasts. Please hit that subscribe button and leave a review, it really helps. You can also check out our video podcast on YouTube, hit that subscribe button and leave us a review. No mail this week, and you know how much I want to hit that you've got mail button. No mail this week, sir. And looking ahead to next episode, it is the third annual Stubby Awards. And Mike, I am it is award season, it's nomination season. I am I am just for the stubby.

SPEAKER_00 2:11:01

It is we've talked about it without really talking about it, but there this is by far the most wide open in a both positive because there's too many candidates, and negative in that there's not enough candidates, but I feel like I'm walking, I'm walking in on Quattro de Mayo, May 4th, to the stubbies, prepared for almost anything, because I there are very few things that I am like dug in 100% on, and there are just ones where I just throw my hands up and I'm like so it's interesting to see the ones we're both dug in on because it sometimes it'll be the same person, which is always funny.

SPEAKER_03 2:11:38

Uh but yeah, that's gonna be my favorite episode of the year.

SPEAKER_00 2:11:42

It's been and we're up to twenty two awards this year, although I will say at least one of the awards will not be handed out. So but funny, funny. And don't forget the governor's award as well. But we'll we'll be back on Quattro de Mayo, May 4th, for that, and then the season four. Begins on May 18th, which is crazy that we're going to be in season four.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:05

Just keeps on rolling. Well, we have a lot coming up. Also, happy 420, all you potheads out there. Happy 420. And again, we'll see you next time on the Stubbies. Thanks for joining us. Love Boat Project episode 76. And we'll see you next time.