LBP #80: International Incident

A poker playing prince, a husband stealing villain and we can't shake these Cowboys cheerleaders.

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Transcript

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Welcome back. Love Boat Project number 80. 8080? Look at us. I am your host, Mike Taylor. Along with me, as always, is my co-host Mike Robertson. Aloha and oh hoy, Mike. Hey, Mike. At the end of the episode, last or last episode, which if anyone made it to the end of that episode, God bless you, because that was quite long. Yeah. You you gave the the brief synopsis for what we could expect in episode 80. And you know, I I had looked ahead before the season at the first five, and maybe I knew what was going to happen on this episode. Maybe I didn't. In name only. But the brief the brief synopsis you provided really left a lot on the table. It was uh there was a lot of stuff happening in in this episode, including the fact that it was 30 minutes longer than we thought it was gonna be. Unreal. Uh I don't really see the point of having this as a 90-minute episode because well, we'll get there. It's just there was a special reason to have a 90-minute episode here. I have a theory. So now that and I did, by the way, I did check just a little behind the scenes. So IMDB lists this as a one-hour episode. So we just assumed it was a one hour episode. Right. So I went through Paramount for the rest of the season and everything else lines up. We're not getting fooled again. But so you know, episode two, two parts, two hours. Episode three, sneaky ninety minutes. Episode four, two hours. Episode five, ninety minutes. Good Lord. What is the theory is if we think that spelling was on top of things and got all these recorded before the strike, did he think, let's do a bunch of long ones, because if this strike goes on for a long time, we can chop these bad boys up as much as we want. Maybe. Maybe it was just hours. Like he was just trying to get time. Right. You know? Yeah, yeah. So like I I guess there's a world where I wouldn't be surprised if episode six looks like the first episode that was recorded to go. Just a just a thought, but this yeah, much like last week, did it have to be two hours? Did this need to be 90 minutes? And and I will say, watching an episode that you think is only an hour, and then it's like 40 minutes into it, and you're like, then you realize it's 90 minutes really changes the way you view things. Because I was like, they are not gonna finish these plots. What are these guys doing? Like, they're really gonna just throw it in a basket at the end. Come on, guys. And you know what's funny is even on this, the end scene is so thrown together. It's like, okay, and then you go and you go and you go and you go, and we're done. That's the thing, and I know we'll end up talking about it a lot, but it almost feels like they had 90. This could have easily gotten down to 60. But my my guess is there's probably three more routines in there that they could have gotten it back up to two hours. Like, my guess is this was one with a lot of detachable parts. If you had just added an additional Dallas Cowboy, his dance number, you could have easily gotten to that two-hour mark. Or, you know, if you had given Robert Culp, I don't know, three lines. No kidding. Or or or a longer game of poker with an oil. Two-man poker. How does that even work? Okay. We're here to talk about season four, episode three, 90-binneter, titled Target Gopher, The Major's Wife, Strange Honeymoon, and the Oil Man Cometh. Original air date, Saturday, November 8th, 1980. And this was on, Mike, from 8 to 9.30 p.m. So does that mean? I think I know we have from 9.30 to 11 then. Of course. It's a fantasy island. Yeah. We're gonna start with NBC tonight, sir, on the my favorite What Else Is On segment. I wish we had a What Else Is On, like Jingle. Jingle? We should we should get down. Wow. It's rock. That was more rock than I expected. It was I surprised me. It just came flying out. NBC 8 to 10. It's a movie, Mike. It's one you you you may know, a movie called A Bridge Too Far. Big fan of this movie. During World War II, the Allies plan to parachute 35,000 troops into Nazi-occupied Holland and within seven days capture the six major bridges leading to the German border. But unexpected problems jeopardize the entire operation with Richard Attenborough. Oh, really? Boy, he loves it. John Connery. Holy cow. We're not even close to being done. Michael Cain. Michael Cain. Lawrence Olivier. Jesus. Robert Redford and Jimmy Kahn. I gotta see this movie. I don't think I've ever seen this movie. That's great. It's great. How have I never seen or heard of this movie? That's fantastic. That's gone. The longest day is my favorite, like World War II movie, but this is a very close second. Very, very solid movie. I mean, you could pretty much put those six guys in anything. That's a great guest. Solid. So that's NBC 8 to 10, CBS 8 to 830. WKRP in Cincinnati, Mike. Episode called Jennifer Moves. The staff helps Jennifer move into her new $125,000 house in the quiet suburb of Landersville. But she soon's find she soon finds out, easy for me to say, that life in Landersville isn't as pleasant as she thought it would be. Yeah, I mean, you don't want to leave the downtown Cincinnati for Landersville. Any ever heard of Landersville? I don't know that Landersville is real. No. Plus having driven on I-75 and 71, you don't want to be in the burbs and have to come downtown. That's like so. CBS 832-9, the Tim Conway show. We have a bit of a thing going here. Again, no information on the episode. No episode number, nothing. Do you think it's possible that season two they just abandoned like a special guest and they just went with you know just a sketch show? I wonder if that's imagined. Or they just got lazy and stopped writing it down. But does he really need a guest every week? I think it's just the the cachet of having well, no, I think it's just the cachet of saying you have, you know, whoever's way to get a face on TV. Oh, yeah. Well, she'd really act up the joint, as I like to say. After some of the acting we saw here tonight, I'm not sure I can give Catherine Bach any any crap. No, I found a logical replacement for Daisy Duke, but we'll get into that later. CBS, finally, CBS 9 to 11. We love a TV movie. Oh. TV movie. The Georgia Peaches. Okay. Two sisters running an auto repair shop. Not what I thought. What's that? Not what I thought. Not what I thought. Not what I thought. Like two, yeah. Somewhere pie was in favor. Uh two sisters running an auto repair shop are extorted into becoming undercover FBI agents. Didn't see that coming. Tracking down a dangerous criminal in order to save their own skins. I'm going to tell you this. Oh yeah. I'm going to tell you right now. Oh, yeah. The fate of this being something I search after the show rests on who the two on who the two peaches are. Okay. Well, I don't know. I'm going to throw out four names. Okay. Okay. Okay. Three of them are gold. All right. With Tanya Tucker. Sally Kirkland. Oh, wow. Terry Nunn. I don't know who that is. No. And last but certainly not least, and this person would be great on the love boat. Mr. Dirk Benedict? Come on. Oh wow. So is Georgia Peaches. Hmm. Is it Terry with an I or Terry with a Y? I guess we don't know with an I. Okay. Double R I looks like that. So I'm gonna go on the limb here and say that Sally Kirkland is the FBI front. Oh, you don't think it's Tanya Tucker? Or do you think Dirk Benedict could be the FBI guy? I I almost wonder if maybe yeah, that would make more sense, but I don't feel like Sally Kirkland can be the peach. Is she like extorting them? I'm very thrown off because we have just watched the 1985 classic Follow That Bird. Oh, the bluebird of happiness? The blue bird of sadness, Mike. Oh sadness. Oh, I love that movie. I saw that in theater. Sally Kirkland plays uh Miss Finch, so that's all I can think of now. So it all ties back to the Henson Enterprises. I will go back. Wouldn't Dirk Benedict be a great guest on the Love Boat? I think he's gotta be there. I think he'll be on. We've had a couple Battlestar folks. How long does that how long does that go? I mean the A-Team starts like eighty-four? Yeah, mid. Yeah, I think it was 84. Like, I almost think I almost think if we're gonna get him, it has to be pre-A-Team because the A-Team was such a monster that they probably don't come on. Well then they and if less than a different network, I don't know how. I'm gonna say if Battlestar Galatica maybe ends in a couple years or whatever, there's gonna be like a little bit of a lull. I think he'll be on. Like uh give me like a season six Dirk Benedict. It'd be great. He'd be great for Chris photographer, like part-time or I mean he's just gonna like you know romance Julie or something like that. He's gonna get married 20 times in one episode. It's gonna be great. I'm excited for the Dirk Benedict episode that may or may not happen. It's oh fantasy book in the head right now. Now howling mad will be on 12 times. Episode synopsis. Air Force Major Ross Latham and his passive wife Nara and an aggressive old girlfriend are on the cruise at the same time. Woo. Where's uh where's what's his face? Where's uh Mr. Charlie's Angels? Where's where's the the man who loves ladies? Like, where's he when you need him? Or where's Vic Tabak? Just somebody keeping it. Let me tell you, Joey M. Flug has had three roles and three very different, very different characters. Good job, everybody. Good job, Flug. Two brothers share the honeymoon suite. I have an issue with that storyline, but I'll do you? Well, it it but it's so dumb. Not not just that, it it's the detail. It it's Texas oil magnet Mason Flears. I hate to call him Mason. Just call him Mason. I actually ended up calling him just referred to him as Fleers for the Red Mary. I called him poor man's honest texts. It is so funny you say that. We will get to that in just a moment. Uh he takes the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders aboard to impress several of his clients, including Mideastern Prince Hassan, who thinks that one of the cheerleaders is a permanent gift for him. Way to go, Schneider. Guest stars this week. We're gonna start with Mr. David Cassidy. You know, at one time they say he was the highest paid entertainer in the world at his peak. So this happens a lot for me, where I try to I read the IMDB synopsis, including the one that has the you know uh actors in parentheses around the characters. Right, right. I don't generally like really pour over the cast list the first time because I just I like to go in as fresh as I kind of can. Absolutely. And so it took me a while to realize that was David Cassidy. Especially with the Donnie and Don most thing where he had the most this is Dave Cassidy, not we are we are in I said this to my wife last night. We are in late 1980. I think, much like you were put off by the lack of stash for like Goulet and Price, oh they're here now. We're I think we're gonna get stashes where stashes usually aren't. So yeah, I agree. It's gonna be a lot of stashes going on. Yeah, just and guys who are like, did David Cassie ever have mustache? And you'd say no, but then I'd say, wait a minute, what about when he was working for the Flears company? Well, I bet if Donnie Osman comes back, he'll he'll be sporting a mustache this time. I think it's uh Well wasn't Sonny Bono sometimes mustache, sometimes no. I think he was early no and then consistent. Yeah. Because he was he had it for both of his appearances here. I would have uh it's always weird you put grease paint over a moustached face. Yeah, you know. Well, there was like listen, that that that grease paint got him a multiple stubbies, so no criticism. His sacrifice. It's not like he had to put on Grinch level makeup, though, but this is the first and only appearance in Love Boat for Mr. Cassidy, best known as Keith Partridge on the Partridge family. You know, Shirley Jones was his actual mother-in-law or stepmother. Yeah, because Jack Cassidy's involved there, right? Yeah, yeah. And he and her were the only people to actually sing in the show. 96 episodes of the show ran from 70 to 74, also an international success in his solo career as a singer, singer, big star. Big star, probably short period of time. I can't believe he didn't sing, and that would have been weird if he wouldn't have sung, but I can't believe he didn't. Well, he was playing poker. Like, do you always say I do? You know, I didn't he should have just explained it to the prince in song. Maybe that's the two-hour version. Oh, if only we can get the directors. We fold it out. If we need two hours, there's a Cassidy solo. That would be fantastic. Next, we have Al Corley as Walter Henson. First and only appearance in the love boat. He was in a lot of different things. The aforementioned Robert Culp, who was barely there, first and only appearance in the love boat, which broke my heart a little bit. Yeah. Of course, we know him from the greatest American hero. Played Bill Maxwell for 46 episodes. And let me just say, if if any of the listeners have not have no sort of knowledge of the greatest American hero, is there anything you would like to? How would you how would you describe that show, Mike, to our listeners? As a kid, I would say it was maybe the greatest show I've ever seen. 100%. Like just in terms of first of all, I love Robert Culp specifically because of that. It's like I've seen a lot of Robert Culp. And in the limited role he had today, he was doing Robert Culp things. He's just got that crane, Dabney Coleman level tone. Yeah, and just like the staggered speech and everything. He he's brilliant. I will say this as soon as either William Kat or is that Aaron Gray or is that Connie Selica? I think it's Connie Selica, right? I think it's Connie Selica. I don't think it's Aaron Gray. Yeah. As soon as either of them show up, or as soon as they move Grey's American Hero to a Saturday night, that's a bonus episode. Because I'm just waiting for an excuse to do to go back and watch that. So we're going, it'll if you haven't seen it, you will see it because we are definitely going to do a bonus episode of and Mike, as you often say, the Ropers is your favorite theme song. That is among my favorite theme songs. That's a monster. That's a monster theme song. That's a song song. God. Boy, I wonder if they ever did like a like a TV theme song tournament style to determine what's the group of the colours. I'm sure it's so many. I'm sure it's been done. And fun fact former guest of the show, Kevin Redding, is in my phone with a picture of the greatest American hero. Oh, that's funny. I didn't even think about that. That's funny. You're in there as a cannonball. Well, for obvious reasons. Yeah. Next to this episode is Pat Harrington Jr., the return. Second appearance in Love Boats. You'll remember him season two as Hank Vosnick in the Captain's Cup. Stubby nominee. Stubby nominee. And we're gonna see him again in a season eight two-parter. Oh, that's it. I figured he'd be in I figured he'd be like, I need to get back on and work on more of my characters. Or yeah, well, I need to be on the Maxwell Thorne episode with everybody. Oh, that's funny. I killed him with a hammer. I killed him with a hammer, Skip. Next is an actress named Nobu McCarthy. Marriage name, I'm assuming. First appearance in the Love Boat. We will see her again in season seven. She's in like all sorts of like one-off appearances everywhere. I thought she was good, but also that was such a weird weird part. That was a very strange storyline. That was strange, and they kept moving the goalposts a lot. And in the end, how much really changed? Nothing. She's still wearing a kimono. It's nothing changed. Yeah, but Mike, she moved her hip. She's gonna serve hot dogs and french fries. Oh, God. God. Julie with her one Japanese word. We'll get to that too. We'll get to that. That's what I should have said to open the show. Well, we'll talk about we'll talk about when we got to it. I look forward to that. I'm gonna zoom past it. Uh Joanne Flug as Gloria Beaumont. Welcome to the Three Timers Club, Fluger. Fluger with the three times, but what a what a villain she was. Like a villain? Well, and it was funny because she was like the villain you thought she was, and then in that dancing scene at the end, they just drop in like an even more villainous comment. Dude, she tripled down on that. Like she was my I I I was I said this to you earlier. My wife, who rarely is in the room when I'm watching these, was in there when I was doing the rewatch and and kind of paying attention, and she was just like, Holy Christ! Out of nowhere. It was just yeah, you can't do that stuff. You can do that, but that has to be the whole episode to just do a drive-by like that was wild. And it's I feel like they were sort of like leading in that direction the entire episode. It's like, well, how far are we getting? Yeah. Yeah. Joanne Flug, what a performance. Season two, she was Bonnie Stokes in The Man Who Loved Women. In season three, she played Anne, my favorite last name of the show, Noyce. Noyce uh in Trial Romance, and we'll see her again in season seven. Apparently, she won't be back for Maxwell Thorne either, sir. That's surprising. So she'll be a four-timer. Four-timer, yeah. Mark Pinter. Here's the issue here. So you have Al Corley played a character named Walter Henson, okay? Now his brother, played by Mark Pinter, is HUD Hansen. Oh, I think that's just spelling on IMDb. I mean two different sources. That's what got me. I was like, what? That can't be right. They said they said their brothers. That would be first and only appearance in a Love Boat. That is Mark Pinter, the HUD Hansen. Yes. Mark Pinter sounded like a very familiar name, so did Al Corley, honestly. He looked familiar, but I and and he was just in like he was in like every soap opera for like a small run. Yeah. Which was weird. But he just look, man. Right. He felt a lot like the guy at the end of last season that Martin Schwartz was stalking the blonde. Yeah, he does. He just had he had that soap problem. There are just these soap opera guys that fit in very well on this show. You know, it's like so I thought he did a good job. Good timing. And honestly, was able to act with a cheerleader. Yeah. Which was not easy this week. Well they gave him all the heavy lifting too, and all the all the all the uh 10 minute plus monologues. Here you go, Tina Ray, whatever your name is. No, it was Jelane. Yeah, what? Oh Dale Robertson. Um first and only appearance in the Love Boat. This guy hasn't been in everything and everything. And I know we say that a lot, but there were people back then that just were in literally every TV show for one appearance. Finally, for the third appearance on this podcast, second appearance in the love boat, it's the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. My question here, Mike does the fact that they had them on a second time on the love boat cheapen their first appearance does it make it feel a lot less special if if a salesman can just bring them back whenever? Well, that's the thing. Are they like rentable? Like for bar, I got I got problems with Barbara Mitchell. Who fought Burt Convey tooth and nail because she didn't want the bad publicity for the Cowboys? But she'll just lease them off to this Mason Flears who is making deals with Arab countries in 1980. Yeah, that's uh that's a literal. When there were still hostages, yeah, literally, there are still hostages. Jeez, it's funny. They they should have pulled this one, like they pulled that Muhammad Hassan character off TV back in the day. Jeez. The most important thing is that it immediately allowed me to think, Sunday, after new fever, here comes that fever, who's bringing me now. I mean, it's it's the the song is timeless. I will say this. It did I don't think we should, and I'm not even sure we can. But I'm like, at this point now, because I don't think we knew they were coming back when we did the movie. I had no idea they were coming back. Do we have to do the other cowboy movie and just finish it out? Right. Do we have to? Like I mean, I say we have to if Bert Convey's in it, but we can't. But he's not too, even if he's not. It's John Davidson. I think we kind of have to. I wonder if he spends as much in airfare as Bert Con. That's why Bert couldn't play it. He's like, I'm losing money playing this role. I mean Dallas and back. It's just like we we we were done. We were done with the Cowboys cheerleaders. And I will say this. We're not even Cowboys fans. I mean, it's not like I have an Eagles, I have an Eagle Shirl. Like it's like it's yeah, I don't but I I kind of think we might have to. I mean, obviously, after the Georgia Peaches, but I mean, I think they definitely go the old hopper. I guess I would say stay tuned to Thanksgiving this year. Maybe we'll have it again. I don't know. We'll see. It's a tradition unlike any other. I gotta check that castles. Maybe if maybe if John Davidson pops up on here before Thanksgiving. Oh I used to love John Davidson. I love his work on that's incredible. Big fan. Anything else before we hop on the boat? No, I uh I will say this at 90 minutes had a similar energy to last week's two hours. But I think this is an easier You had said this last week that you thought with a lot of cutting you could get that thing down to a good 60 minutes. I can get it down to 15 minutes. What are you talking about? I think this week you could get to a very nice 60-minute episode. It would be because Well, which storyline would you toss out if you had a little bit of a. Well, I think you just I think you just dump the cowboy dance numbers. Ooh. And then Yeah, but then why have them on? Well, that's fair too. Okay, so you dump one of the cowboys dance numbers. There were a couple scenes, like, did I need to see Julie writing her name in Japanese? Like you could tighten up. I would say if I had to dump anything, honestly, I know it was like a fulcrum of the story, but like the whole gopher getting suspended thing was like so stupid. Poor gopher hell of a season so far. He had hooks up with Julie, it's been downhill ever since. No kidding. Just like when he when she's like, Hey, you hey, her woman. I'm terrible since you like jinxed my entire life. Jesus, Julie. Meanwhile, Julie's living her best life. She's getting invited to the homes. Oh, and I just want to say this Major Latham is right in her wheelhouse. Oh, why do you think she was so anti-lug? And married too. That is that is her perfect guy. I mean, Robert Culp is a better Paul Burke. Oh, a thousand percent. Right? So sorry, Paul Burke, but you know. And it didn't seem like he was too like too difficult to pry away from his from his wife. I believe starting, I believe the next couple weeks at least. I I can't speak beyond that. We're starting to ramp up the Julie romance stuff. So we're gonna it's about time. We're gonna we're gonna find out who's on that who's on that list for this year, because it's been a while. So she's got a type. She definitely has a type. All right. Let's get on the boat. We begin the episode with Stubing wearing dark pants. What's what are we are we headed north, Mike? What's going on? Doc walks up, bumps into Stubing, which looked so not natural. Tells Stubing that he's excited for the cowboy cheerleaders to be on the boat. He should have put on to be on the boat again. Like, how excited are you gonna be the second time? Like this excited? Well, and he was, if you remember last time, Gopher was the one who was very excited. That's right. And Isaac and Doc were kind of blocking him in the hallway. That's right. Because Doc didn't really do very well with the cheerleaders last time either. This is not an episode of Bricker at all. That'd be weird if you had a Bricker episode with the cheerleaders. Next. Next. Doc tells Stubing he's excited, says that they're his favorite type of women. Stubing says, Is there any type of women that of woman that isn't your favorite? Doc says, I'm an equal opportunity lover. Oh boy. And then Doc says he watched them at the quote ball game last day. And I'm like, Rams home game, Chargers game, Niners game, maybe? I don't know. Well, no, you must have watched them on TV, Mike, because the week before this episode, they played the St. Louis Cardinals. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no. Unless Doc. Well, who knows? Later on in the episode, we'll find out how their performance on the boat this week impacted their game tomorrow. Well, fingers crossed. Stubing says, New faces. Doc says, new everything. Stubing says, ask, why rush? They'll be on the board for they'll be on board for several days. Doc says, the first fella that meets them is the one they'll remember. Like, what are they what are we what are we talking about? Goats? Like, what are we talking? Like baby birds? Jesus, man. When they open their eyes for the first time, I want them to see me, Doc. Doc's just swinging from the raptors just so he can like jump them. Instead of waiting for the elevator, they both decide they need to take the stairs to hurry it up. It's funny. So I put down here when when they want to impress, I feel like they put on the dark pants. But if you put on the dark pants, shouldn't you put on the dark jacket as well? Don't they always wear the dark pants in the beginning? Isn't it always long sleeve and dark pants to greet? Not always. No. I mean, you know, and may I have to go back and double check, but I I don't think so. Well, what do they wear to greet? They don't wear shorts in shorts. A lot of times in shorts. Not not in the lobby, though. I think it's always good. I'm gonna say it's pants in and pants out. Oh, until they get like Right. Like out of the lobby. If everybody's checked in. Then once everybody's comfortable, Stubing whips out those games. Well, that's why that woman's wanted to know when they're gonna be over the deep water, because that's when everyone can put their shorts on. That's what it is. An alarm. When you're meeting a prince of another country, you want to make sure that you're showing showing leg when you curtsy. I'll tell you what, there's a couple pause screens of Stubing in that ridiculous knee sock shorts thing bent in a way that isn't was not flattering. It was not. I'm surprised that security staff didn't take them down. I tried to make it my screensaver, but my computer just refused. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Julie's in her cabin getting ready for work. I I noticed I put a note here because it was just so weird. It's a knock on the door, it's Vicky. Julie with the cheerleaders on board. Quote, we're gonna have to look sensational just to keep up. And I was like, again, with this, I don't know. Not trying to go overboard, but you know what I mean? It's always well, I think that's part of I don't know if like they're demanding that you, you know, compliment them, but I think that's just like if you're gonna to your point, if you're going to have them, you gotta like build them up to all that. Now the fact that Julie is a former Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. You know, you know what? I didn't even she's trying to hold herself to that cheerleader standard. Cheerleader standard. I get that. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. We don't really know how she rebounded from you know the salacious scandal that almost took her down. So that was bad. Guy telling all her secrets. Ah, Jesse. See, now we gotta watch part two. I mean, and now it's no one excited for watching part two. All right, I'll start working on it. But like, we need to have one other hook in there. There needs to be somebody in there that we want to see. Like, I don't think Texas even in that one. So it's yeah, I don't have to see who's in that. We're on deck and we see Stubing and Doc talking to a gentleman who looks a lot like Big Enos from Smokey and the Bandit. Honestly, thought I I almost assumed it was going to be him when I looked him up. That's what I thought. And then I got excited because I'm like, where's Paul Williams? Yeah, let's go. Dollar store, big enos. Stubing says, You put on a real party, Mr. Fleers. And I wrote, Stubing should have asked if he was related to Honest Text and or Colonel Robert Parker from WCW in the mid-90s. And then imagine honest, imagine HT and Flears hanging out. God. This was the same thing with Honest Tex, in a way. They don't put enough sharp edges on these Texan characters. Oh, no, no. Is it a big thing? They make him look I think so, but it just it it it fails. Like, yeah, they never made this guy mean enough or villainous enough to carry whatever they were trying to do. I mean, he should have been. They made him a cowardly villain, though. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, they did. They did. And a dull and a dumb one. Who's a bigger villain? Gloria or poor man's anus? Is that what fugue is? Or fluke? Yeah. Is that Gloria? Yeah. I she's worried. Way worse. I think so. Way worse. 100%. Yeah. This guy's just rich and dumb. He's dumb. He has an ego and he's just dumb. Yeah. And the thing, and he doesn't handle business. That's the thing. It doesn't make sense. This guy's doing all this stuff, and then that he doesn't handle his business. You don't think there's a good use of his self-source? It's 50. Yeah. I don't. Fleers, I've got 50 of my top customers and 50 of my best salesmen, and the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. All courtesy of Mason Flears. So my lovely wife asked a question about this. She's like, How much would that cost? Well, no, she was like, what if you're just a regular person taking a cruise and all of a sudden the cheers for Flears crew goes up? And this is just what you're doing now. Like, you know, this wasn't advertised. Well, you can't get in the pool because the damn cheerleaders are are dancing next to it. Like I'd be like, look, I'm a Giants fan. I what the hell is going on here? I just want to relax. I don't want to- I just want to get away. My husband was taken by the Ayatollah. Wait a minute, who's this getting on? Wait, who's this guy? Yeah, that wound is still open. Who oh is that the is that the super from that building in Indiana? It just was the whole thing, it was just, yeah, it was funny. Because really, that's it's a hundred. So if you have a hundred people, right? Ship's about 400. I mean minimum. And the challenge wasn't it wasn't as big of a cheerleading cruiser. Oh, but it was at least eight. At least eight, yeah. Texie gets a room. You figure big text gets a room. Well, he's got that extra one too. So you're talking probably, let's call it 115 of the 600. Just to start. And then, of course, the very small princely quarters. What country is that? How much oil do you have? Like a little bit of oil? Where did you go? The stereotypical cabin decoration store? Like, how did you they just threw like cloths on things and called it a day? They didn't even go far into the room. Did they have a bed? Like it just was just ridiculous. He calls over. Oh, I said, yeah, how much would it cost to get the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders on a I mean? Do you think it was there's no way you would know this, but do you think this was like because it is football season? They have a game, it's a road game, so they maybe don't go tomorrow on November 9th. But like how how available are they like for rent? It's just weird that they're like right. You know what's funny is I I said before, like, does this take away from their first appearance? But the weird thing is, is their appearance wasn't that long ago. It's not like they're spreading it out like this heavy hitter. It's like, Jesus, we it's been less than a full season since we saw you last. Like Yeah, we did that. I want to say we did that right around the beginning of football season last year. It's yeah, so figure that's probably episode 10. Yeah, that's not that long, especially with the strike. How much do you think the term America's team, how much does that have to do with the whole popularity of the cheerleaders as well? Oh, a ton. All of this isn't at the football team. Listen, all jokes aside about that movie and Barbara Mitchell and everything, like the marketing of all of that is elite, right? I mean, like they got two movies, and I think as someone who was not around for it, I think some of the stuff in the show, a movie in terms of like, I don't even watch the game, I watch the cheerleaders. I think that's maybe a little bit, but it's probably somewhat grounded in fact. I think so. I think so. I remember him being a big deal when I was a kid. It's just interesting. Fleers calls over Ted as assistant. Ted's in charge of their special guests. Mr. Fleer says he needs to get below before the cheerleaders show up. I don't know why he would. Seems like he would do the opposite. Nope. Nope. Ted gives Stubing and Doc each a button, the aforementioned cheers for Fleers button, now available in the project merch shop. Just in time for football season. Ted walks away. Doc and Stubing are happy about the buttons, and Doc is very excited about the cheerleaders. Big sign, Mike. Welcome, Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. And I wrote I wonder if this is the same sign they just added the Flears. Tears for Fears or whatever. Didn't they run through the sign last year? Yeah. You can see it's it's it's taped back together. They put Cheers for Flears in the corner. Budget is tight on the old spelling spelling production company. Isaac walks up to Gopher as Gopher is cleaning his work hat. Isaac asked if he went heavy on the cologne. Very funny. And then he asked if he put the cologne on with a mop. Just kind of made me laugh. You think it's Macho Beast? I mean, that bottle was big enough that he still has something like that. Like a bucket with a with a spray head on it. Ugh. That's so funny. Gopher says he didn't get all cleaned and spiffed up for the cheerleaders. Isaac fakes Gopher out by saying, Here comes the cheerleaders. And Gopher trips over some suitcases trying to get to the cheerleaders. Didn't break his arm this time. Not this time. Nope. And I will say I I do love Fred Grandy, but he is no John Ritter when it comes to the city. No, it's it is funny. You would think a guy who he has the skill set otherwise of someone who would be a good physical comedian, but you're right, he's not. He's not terrible at taking a fall. Maybe that's why they had that other guy fall down the stairs. Remember in the first. R.I.P. Vince. R.I.P. Vince. We see two men both wearing what's referred to as a kufia fashioned from a square scarf, usually made of cotton. I just looked it up because I wanted to know what that thing was called. I didn't want to say turban if that's not the correct, you know. Good for you. Let's be let's be asked. You have already been more sensitive to the storyline than the low boat producers are. Well don't give me credit yet, because we've got the Japanese story coming up, Mike. So Oregato. Yeah, Oregato, Mike. Origato. Come over for hamburgers and French fries. Stop it. Um Ted the assistant approaches this, the men, calls the man in sunglasses, Prince Hassan. He introduces him to Stubing. Stubing and Prince Hassan shake hands. Prince says he looks forward to the cruise. His country's full of sand, but under that sand is a big layer of oil. Big old laugh track when he said that. I didn't even know I didn't even think it was a funny line. I don't know why. They weren't sure where to put the laughs this week. They were just giving them out. They didn't even know. They just, yeah, this'll help. Uh also, this a few points here. The henchman, that much gotta be pricey. Wonder how much a henchman costs. I can't believe uh you'd only have one henchman. He was a big dude. Understood, but he's still one guy. Yeah, if you got all that oil money, I guess you don't have as much oil money as you thought. Right. I mean, it just doesn't seem like you know Stubing's boat is not secure. Everybody's got it. No, bring a gun, everything. Yeah, no one cares. Well, the other thing too is out of all the places to go on vacation, for the reason that he wanted to go on vacation, this is what you pick. Well, he's not going on vacation. He was brought there by the FLIRS. Well, that's true. Well, don't forget, he was brought there by the FLIRS. I think the shopping is just like when in Rome, right? So Well, and and the the whole get to it too, I don't think it was any any fault of him. It was a misunderstanding. You know what I mean? So it's not Yeah. We'll get there. We'll get there. I wish he had a pack of smokes rolled up in his sleeve, though, just uh just as a little Easter example. I wish he had I wish he at some point would have just been washing a banister something. Just wiping a dirty wiping a clean banister. Florence Henderson's like, don't I? Nope. No, you don't. Princessan, there's things that are more valuable than oil, and that's where I that's why I came to your country. And with that, the prince and his henchmen walk past stooping. Pat the assistant. Uh-oh. Sounds like the cheerleaders are here. Well, I don't know about the cheerleaders, but we see a marching band. And Mike, they're playing a very familiar song. Did you catch this? This song I did not. I know we have another familiar song coming later, but I I do not know what this one is. This is a song called The Maple Leaf Forever. Oh, why does that sound familiar? It's the same song the band was playing in the Alaskan Cruise episode they were boarding the ship. There you go. Nothing says Mexican Riviera Cruise quite like Maple Leaf Forever. Well, so that was a the music they play in Vancouver is the music they play for the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. Yeah. Yeah, it's just there's no connection. Maybe uh somebody on the show wrote the song. I don't I don't know what oh that's true. Well, listen, we can't go wrong with the maple leaves. No, I mean at this point they only had not won the cup for 13 years. So well, and their stars on the on their walk of fame are in the shape of a maple leaf. So that's true. And of course the walk of fame is located in Toronto. So there you go. Which we know. They'll wait on the Lithuanian American Hall of Fame location. Who knows? We will be checking the mailbag later. Marching behind the band of the cheerleaders, and they are cheering their way through the taxi stand and onto the ship. Okay. I do like that they've I mean they're beating it into the ground, but we've we've had a return to the outdoor set here. I love the outdoor set, which we were big fans of in season one. So big fan of the outdoor set. Military man is walking onto the boat with a woman wearing traditional Japanese clothing. Let me just say, Mike, this guy's uniform is a hot mess. I'm disgusted by what this guy's wearing. He doesn't even have a name tag on. He's he got a blanket. That's why he had to introduce himself. So stupid. That is true. Maybe he's a secret. Yeah, I mean he's Bill Maxwell. He's undercover. Don't tell anybody. That B Gloria is gonna find me. They walk up to Julie and it's the Latham's. Major Ross and Nara. They get their room number. Major Latham asks if the cheerleaders are really gonna be on the ship. Julie says yes, and Major Latham uh says that his wife would enjoy that. To which Julie says Argato. And explains that's the only Japanese word she knows. Mike. How many Japanese words do you know? I mean, I definitely knew the one she said at the end. Yeah, I knew that one. I knew that one. I know Boya Kandios. Yeah. I know one Japanese word. I had a friend. His name was Yutaka Yumata, and he would scream this word at his mom all the time when we were trying to play games. He would scream the word nani, which means what in Japan Japanese. Nice. That's all I got. That's a good word. It makes sense. I mean, as a cruise director, it does make sense that she would know hello and goodbye in multiple. Multiple languages. I mean card handy. I always assume that Buddy Stanfield was taking Julie all over the place. Oh, yeah. And I just assumed it's like that prequel I wanted to make where it was her, like with all these like weird friends that she picked up along the way. She only sees him during the week. Yeah, like that whole thing. So I actually would have thought Julie would have like. Remember, she's was it Russian she spoke? Russian that one time. She's everywhere. She's a she's a she's CIA agent. Who knows what's really going on with Julie? That would be a great twist. That's why she knows Ross Latham. Be a good spin-off. She had to leave the boat. The cover was blown. That would be great. She's having Doc like stitch her up because she got cut on the ah, whatever. We'll write that one later. That'd be great. So the couple walks away. Julie marvels at the kimono Mrs. Latham is wearing, and I bet Doc has one of those in his cabin. Admiring his robe. Who's your tailor? I would love two of those. I can't wait to see you in my Japanese robe. He loves a Japanese robe. I don't know why, of all the creepy things that have been said on this show. That's the one. That's an easy top three that sticks with me the most. I don't like it at all. Uh-oh. It's niche. Ooh, yeah. It gives me goosebumps. It makes me so uncomfortable. It's just like a weird. Julie tells Vicky that she bets they're on a honeymoon. Vicki says that he must be on two honeymoons. Nailed them. You know what's funny? I'm starting to like Vicky a little more. I like Vicky when they leave her in these lanes. Yeah. It's when they put her in the I want a mommy or I'm in a blood cult. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, cut my hand open. Yeah, no, those no, but this is good. Normal Vicky, normal Vicky is very good for what they do with her. She gets her shots in. She gets exactly in this episode. I thought she was great. I didn't that yeah, that last episode, hold hands, let me move away. I I can't I can't deal with that. No. The woman he was hugging boards the ship walks up to Julie, introduces herself as Gloria Beaumont. Julie gives her her cabin number. A lot of judgment in the voice when she says, Have a nice cruise. Oh yeah. Julie's Julie's got the knives out for this one immediately. I mean, within seconds, she hates this woman. Why why wouldn't she be mad at Major Latham and not take it out on him as opposed to his responsibility? Well, I think Julie's also mad because she's trying to get to Ross Latham. Now she's got to go through two people. She wants to be wearing nothing but his name tag list jacket later in the evening. It's all she wants. She's going to make one says McCoy and put it on. Aye aye. Gloria says she will, and she's she said she just met up with an old Air Force friend of hers. Julie says, Major Latham, and he's here with his wife. Emphasis on wife. Jesus, relax. Gloria, I'm not gonna phase Gloria. Nope. Wife is a temporary position. I should know I used to be one. Damn, that's cold, Gloria. Comes in hot. She came in hot. Super. She doesn't give two craps. Nope. Whatever. She's tall, too. Like Julie better be careful. She's a tall, tall woman. Which is funny because I don't know that I would have thought that, but then you think about like she didn't seem dwarfed by Taback. No. You know, so Tabac's a big dude, yeah. Of course, do you remember who Joanne Flug is married to at this time in real life? It's not Robert Conrad. Chuck Woolery. The secret agent? No, Chuck Woolery the. Sorry, not that guy. They'll be back in two and two. Oh, you're thinking of Chuck Barris, no. It totally was. It totally was. Chuck Willerie who threw away the the wheel of fortune. Fortune. Yeah, for love connection. And Scrabble. Yeah, it's a good move. That's a good move. Mason Flears is back. He pulls aside one of the cheerleaders. Yeah, right. Tells her that. Do you have their name? All their names are like Janine, Jenny, Jill Ann. Jane Ann. All these weird. Well, well, yeah. He says, you've got better moves than the Dallas backfield combined. Mike, I call shenanigans. The 1980. Tony Dorset. Stop it. Stop it. You know what's funny? I looked at the roster. I damn near knew everybody on that team. Two Tall Jones, Danny White. Like it was crazy. It must have taken a really good team to knock them out of the playoffs that season. And maybe in the NFC championship game. I don't know. Is it the big blue? No, it's not the America's team, New York Giants. No? No, sorry. We'll get to the Giants a little bit later. All right. Tells her that they'll see a lot of each other on the cruise. Two men walk up to Isaac and Doc. One of them introduces himself as Mr. Henson. Isaac says, The honeymoon's sweet. And the other gentleman says, That's us, and they walk away. So begins awkward homosexual moments in 1980 on the ship. Yeah, well, thank God they cut it halfway through. But yeah, I can only imagine what was going on. The stuff that didn't make the script. Dr. Isaac, if you're worried about competition for your the cheerleaders, your odds just got better. I did think it was interesting how they tackled this subject. I think here's what I'm going to say about this episode. And I think I've said this about a couple episodes in the past. The one I remember the most was the pizza bet, the two guys who attacked Julie. This episode tiptoed the line the whole way through, and I'm going to say generally somehow avoided the minefields. And I don't know how they did it. But but everything that I'm not saying they didn't have some missteps or things, but like they pulled, they pulled it off, I think, just enough. Yeah, I agree. And I think they saved themselves. But I mean it was when I saw the synopsis, and then I saw this first act, I'm like, oh no. Oh, I was fully prepared. I was like, are we gonna have to skip this episode? I was like, I'm gonna if if it gets weird, I'm just not even I'm gonna act like it didn't even happen in the episode. I'm just move that storyline has been just removed from history. Like they they they pulled it off, and we have talked about this before. Somehow this show does manage that well. I don't know how they for all the stuff they can't do, they do the I'm gonna call it sensitive stuff, even though this this was probably played too jokey for any of this to actually be sensitive, but it was just like they they did not ride over the line, which I don't think in 1980 was probably commonplace. So yeah, well, I mean season one, we'd you know, we dealt with you know the some racial things and dancing, you know, we we've dealt with some things, and I and I do think I think out of all the things we've dealt with, I thought they maneuvered easiest through this one than they have the other ones. It was less awkward, I would say. Yeah, I mean we we have had things where we look at it on paper before we watch it, and we're like, oh Christ, how the hell are we gonna do this show with it? I've never felt like we really had to be too careful, and I do think that is a credit for them considering the time period that they're in. I'm not saying having Pat Harrington do an Arab accent is great, but in that context, it could have been worse, right? Yeah, it could have been way worse. I mean, it was yeah, it wasn't yeah, it was over the top, but it wasn't like and honestly, they did kind of bail on the outfit and all pretty quickly. There's one more scene, there's one more scene, and then eventually he just kind of becomes a uh suits, just a foreign guy, right? So, you know. Um we hear the boat horn and we see Mike. There's so much ticker tape being ticker tape being. All the cowboys, it's all that fleer, it's all that cheer for fleer. Well, everyone's throwing ticker tape except for one person. Princess San does not throw ticker tape, he just stands there. It's just funny he's there, though. Like what yeah, that was weird. It and that's what again about cutting this down to uh, you know, a standard episode. It's it's stuff like that where you're like, I don't need this, I don't need the dance rehearsal scene. Come on now. No, they love doing the dance rehearsal. Do you think they were throwing as ticker tape fleer baseball cards? They were they were shredded cheers for fleer pins that you know were something was wrong with them. Ugh. They were just throwing pins. I don't know if it's pin pins out, pins, pins out pins out. Just seagulls, injured seagulls everywhere. Cheerleaders are leaving their cabins. Here comes Mason Fleers. And then I wrote, without the hat, he looks more like a Rip Taylor than Big Enus, but that's the thing. He just even his when I say he didn't have an edge, even his look didn't have an edge, he did look kind of like cartoony. I don't I don't know. Super cartoony. I I think the episode is better. Now, granted, the cheerleader wasn't a particularly great actress either, but the episode is better if the guy's a little creepier, right? Like well, yeah, yeah. It just advances the whole to get you where you need to go. He says, Hey Ginny, here we go. To the cheerleader he was talking to earlier. Asks if her room was comfortable. She says it's fine, Mr. Fleers. He says he'd get her a private room if she thinks she'll be more comfortable, and that he'll leave that offer open. This thing ain't this thing ain't booked to the gunnels, I guess. Plenty of tickets available. Well, that's how what you know later on somebody hops on just for the you know, a ride to LA. Yeah. Come on. I mean, you're coming from Mazalon? Come on, take that, take that plane, baby. Yeah, what do you why would you Two men in the honeymoon suite are unpacking? One of them actually accidentally brought one of Harriet's quote Harriet's bags with him. Looks like there's a wedding dress in the suitcase. Says he feels terrible for jilting her. Oh, this is a wild one here. Right at the church, he says I couldn't marry her after I found out that she had an affair. Well, they don't explain this at all. They do of they do later. Yeah, but it's like a nothing. They she saw someone else before they were dating. Is that what he well? Yeah. So so basically, right now they say affair. And so in your head, you're like, somehow this guy found out about him getting cheated on at the church. Yeah, yeah. We later find out that it was just that she had dated somebody previously, which brother, what are you talking about? It's 1980. The sexual revolution is gonna pass you by if that's your if that's your out, man. So this guy was so mad. Yeah, but if he jilted her out, why how would he have the the wedding dress? Yeah, it what do you bring the suitcase to the church? She has a backup dress? Like, what do you and and number one, why would you pack a dress? That's a good point. You know? That is a good point. It doesn't make any sense. Like, why would you even have that? He went to the church early and and jilted her. Jilted. Early jilting. He was a considerate jilting. So, but the thing is, he had a tuck, didn't he have a tux on when he got in the boat? No. No, no, no, no, no, no. They were justn't like a Kathy Bates kind of no, no. Yeah, I guess we don't really know when he when he jilted her. I mean, she had to have enough time to fly to Mazathlon. So Well, she didn't bring her wedding dress with her, that's for sure. She didn't have unless that was somebody else's. Yeah, no kidding. Wouldn't it be great if he if he ripped it off her at the church and then packed it and then took it? Because he's a psychopath. And waited until she got changed at the reception. No, no, no. Put on something that's a little more comfortable you can dance in, and then shoves it in a thing. He's like, I just lip synced, I do. I didn't say it. What? Not not every wedding dress is created equally, and obviously you pack them a certain way when you don't want them wrinkled, but that crap ain't fitting in a suitcase. There is a gigantic box in my attic with a wedding dress. Like it is like I mean, they didn't have that. Remember that technology you could put in a bag and you can like you suck the air out of the bag and it like makes things fit. This was just a no. And there what else are you gonna fit in a suitcase? What are you just grabbing suitcases? Like, what do you gotta go? I gotta go. I gotta go. He just he just accidentally ran into like a wedding dress sample company with suitcases. I don't know. I gotta tell you, Walter, I'm not buying my oil off you, sir. So no. No, this guy's a horrible. I don't even know. Yeah, he's no. No. Your your sexy brother, I'll buy some oil off him. A hundred percent. With those crystal blue eyes, a thousand percent. And his deep knowledge of old movies? Absolutely, but not you. This guy doesn't know anything. Somebody dated somebody. Stop it. Oh, you went to the prom with somebody else? I didn't meet you till three years ago. This storyline is so stupid. This does not need to be here. This could just be wiped. Soon to be stubby award winner. Worst storyline. He hangs the wheelchair. Blood beating the judges. He hangs the he hangs the wedding dress up, knock on the door. It's Isaac with champagne. Compliments of, and he says, compliments of the love boat. Mike, I hate that. Oh, we got that about four times this week. So I can't stand it. Isaac comes in, sees a wedding dress, and now he's confused. Isaac says, Congratulations on the flowers sent by Flears. The other guy puts his hand on Isaac's shoulder, which I fully expected Isaac to smack him for doing so. Isaac's gonna be like, I'm from Oakland, and then just cuckoo. You know, he's gonna will smith him. And he asked him for a favor. He asked him to keep quiet. That Mr. Henson doesn't have a bride in the honeymoon suite. He says, I had one, but it didn't work out. And Isaac says, I could have guessed that. They could have probably been a little better with this, like the actual thing. It was fine. I was happy it would went away, honestly. Oh, I was happy when the scene was over. Yeah. Some of the cheerleaders are walking on deck. Ted the assistant walks up, says hello. One of the cheerleaders tells him that she's glad he came along. Ted explains that he has to look out for the prince. And he excuses himself once he sees the prince. Ted walks up to the prince who's leaning on the makeout rail. Ted begins to no. Ted asks if he can meet with the prince in his cabin later. Whoa, this is a little fast. A little fast for me, Ted. Says he has a gift for the prince. Prince says that he'll see him in a half an hour and walks away. One of the cheerleaders walks up to Ted, asks him if he's selling something to the prince. Ted says that he's selling him some good old-fashioned American friendliness. It's a chess machine. It's a chess He's not selling them. Like No, he's so stupid. These are the worst salespeople I've ever seen. What are they selling? Did they ever confirm that they got the deal, by the way, at the end? The deal for what? Like what are they they're talking about? Oh, taco, you know, oil refinery gas stations are gonna be taco stands. Like, what do you are these guys? Because I think who these people okay. Country X has oil. Sure. The FLEARS company wants to have a direct connection with this country so they can get oil at a price that they can then turn around and make a profit from their particular gas stations. That's what they're that's what the deal is. So when Ted screws up, his concern is that the prince will say no dice, and now Flears has to go hat in hand to other countries and probably pay triple or something. And partners too, right? You gotta break the bad news and all that. Yeah. So uh Stubing walks up, has to ask how the prince is. Ted says the gift he has for the prince is a computer game that plays chess. I was like, is that is that like the electronic baseball game that plays baseball? Are we talking about the same thing? Stubing just literally Ted is talking to what turns out to be his girlfriend, although they do a terrible job of explaining that. Well, her she's not the greatest actress either, so but they didn't help it at all. No, no, but Stubing is just walking around and just butts in and then leaves. He got nothing to do. Remember, he was too busy last week to be a judge. He doesn't seem that busy this week. No, this week he's just stalking David Cassidy. Just excuse me. I think I love you. Stubing says maybe I'll join him for a game if he doesn't mind playing for big stakes. S-T-E A-K-S. Two gallons of unleaded. Yeah. Oil. You like oil jokes? A lot of oil jokes. I will say this. We are very much in late 1980 in terms of all these oil jokes. Oh, it's it's just uh he tips his hat and walks away. And I wrote, This would have been a perfect spot for the furly sniff on the two gallons of unleaded would have been great. I like see, I wanted him to start just doing what he did in the first episode this season when he did that joke about rolling in dough, and he just couldn't stop laughing. I want that to be his furly sniff. Well, it's funny. Yeah, of course, a joke about dough where he would just anything, anything related to like caloric intake, he's like, I love it. Ted asked the lady if she'd give the prince the gift and maybe he'll ask her to play a game or two. Why why would he involve her in this? By the way, it did there's no reason to like showmanship. I mean, I yeah, I it I don't know. Yeah, I yeah. Hey, you want to meet my girlfriend? Yeah, it's just like weird. She leaves to have rehearsal. Does it only take a minute? And they walk away together. It's gonna take a little more than a minute, but whatever. Major and Mrs. Latham and Gloria Beaumont are sitting at a table on deck. Mrs. Beaumont's ex-husband was his roommate in flight school a long time ago. That was a long time ago. We're talking flight school. Jesus. Well, it's not just that, but it's like I mean, how much do they really know each other? Like he asks his wife if she'd like to take a walk and see the ship. Gloria now has her hand on the major's hand as she's talking to Mrs. Latham. Julie tells Gopher that she'd like to choke Gloria. Julie hates this woman. Hates her. So so as much as I think Julie would definitely have made a run at Robert Culp, I think Julie is as as someone who has definitely been cheated on by Stanfield at minimum Stanfield. Those are the ones we know about. Right. I think she just does not like this at all, right? Which is so far consistent. Well, and she's consistent because Julie's never been the other woman, right? So I think Well no. Remember, that dude didn't leave his wife, remember? She was she was I think that's why it's even stronger, because she was the other woman. Right. Exactly. Which yeah, that's a good point. But wasn't Julie Gloria? Julie wasn't Yeah, but Julie was also like 20. And do you really think Stanfield was honest with that whole thing? You know, oh no, no. And Flug, Flug's a professional. She knows like this, she knows what's up. Gloria walks up to three of the cheerleaders who are sitting poolside. I'm sorry. Let me go back. Julie said that his sweet little wife doesn't stand a chance. Julie comes up with a plan to distract Gloria with Doc. And I wrote, Good luck with the cheerleaders on board. Yeah. Yeah. If take a shot at Joanne Flug and ignore all of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. Well, it didn't matter. He did as well with her as he did with them. So she wanted nothing to he didn't really approach it. All that talk about cheerleaders, you didn't see him doing anything really. I know it's early. Is Doc Ofer this season? If you don't count the half judges thing, right? Like, what did he do in that first episode? I already don't remember. Not much. Yeah, so. Come on, Doc. Interesting. Gopher walks up to three of the cheerleaders who are sitting poolside. He introduces himself. The cheerleaders go back to their conversation. Gopher walks away. He's sad at being ignored. Isaac hands Gopher a schedule and asks if he'll be too busy. Gopher takes a clipboard and says duty first. Here comes Mason Flears again. The woman he keeps approaching is one of the three sitting by the pool. Says he needs to put a bell on her to keep track of her. He grabs her by the hand and excuses them. Both for a moment. Can't you just say no? Hey, could you excuse us for a moment? And just couldn't she just be like ball shot? No. That's the thing, too. Like, I so I guess at some level the Cowboys entity is making enough money from this guy that you have to like not blow up the contract. Yeah, but you can't be just a creep like this. This is like 70s level creepdom here. Well, see, it's but that's the thing. It's it's too much, but it's not as creepy as they probably could have played it, which is weird, too. So I mean in real life, it was way worse, I would imagine. I bet you, honestly, those the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, I bet you they went through some things. Just I mean, half the being taken. Half of them got married on the the episodes we've seen. That's true. Honestly, the Cowboys left. The Cowboys movie was the least offensive for all the cheerleaders. It was just pretty schoolie. 100%. 100%. She was the saddest part of that show for that movie. Excuse me. Tells her that he has room in his organization for a bright young girl like yourself who would travel with Fleers to all of the branch offices. He says, Easy work. I know you'll love it. I will too. How many branches do you think the Fleers have? There's one in Chicago. One. One. That's it. He's not even from Texas with this whole He's from New Jersey. He's from Orange, New Jersey. She excuses herself from this conversation, calls Gopher darling before giving him a hug. She says that he she's missed him in those magic moments in the moonlight. She asks if she can talk to Flears later. Fleer says, You bet we've got plenty of time. As soon as Flears walks away, she wants nothing to do with Gopher. Real nice. Knock on the prince's door. What a transformation to this cabin has seen, Mike. Oh, we talked about earlier. Holy shit. Where are we? What are we at? Is this the Taj Mahal? No kidding. Like, this is wow. There's pieces of cloth everywhere. This is amazing. Stooping's at the door and he enters the cabin. Tells the prince that he stopped by to make sure everything was satisfactory. Says Fleer's decorated the cabin delightfully. I'd love in my mind, Fleer's is he he decorates cabins as a hobby. Yeah. It's just the buttons. There's just buttons everywhere. That's all it is. All he can do is just just he just markets himself. Stubing brings up chess, says if he ever needs a partner, the prince says I gave up chess a long time ago. Maybe he just doesn't want to hang out with you, Stubing. He just had to pretend on the fly to get away from Stu. Oh, he's like, oh no, I really don't. It's like when you said you don't like Alabama football. Yeah, yeah. Just oh forgot about that one. That's good. Yeah. Nope, not me. I'm gonna skip it. Tell Stubbing he's looking for a wife. He wants to find an American girl. The American girls. Oh. If you like journalists, we have we got a duo for you, Princess. I need to find them. I've got this ETR system that just beats us. I heard one went missing. That's what it was. Uh tell Stubing that he and his harem is so dull now without Fatima. Uh he lost her a month ago. Stubing says he's sorry, the prince tells Stubing. He lost her in a poker game. Classic. There's another knock on the prince's cabin. It's Ted. He has a gift. I don't see this gift in his hand that he's supposed to bring. I don't see I don't know how big an electronic chess machine is. Doesn't she? Wouldn't it be big? I mean, they made it sound like it was an adding machine. I don't know. I mean, how big was the I assume it's the same as the baseball. That wasn't that big. Well, they hand her batteries. They hand him batteries in the end, but I'm like, well, why didn't you hand him the thing to put the batteries in? You hand him instructions and batteries. I think that's what he gets first. Yeah. I think they hand him three things. I want to make sure you read the instructions and understand, get really get to know these batteries, and then I'll bring the Jesus. Ted says, I hope you don't already have one. Uh-oh, Mike. It's that time again. It's the misunderstanding game. Come and knock on my door. Here we go. They love it. The prince says, I have something similar, but nothing like this. Stubing sees what's going on. He's like, Can I have a word with you, Ted? Ted says, sure, but first he gives the prince a set of instructions. You know it's bad when Stubing is sniffing this out. Yeah, yeah. Mr. Mr. Unaware is suddenly aware in two seconds of what's going on. Why didn't he just say something? Oh, Prince, the two uh why am I logic? No, I mean Stubing's not gonna say anything. That's not what he does. You know what's funny though? I am shocked that the Stubing didn't bring the prince to that, like the the bridge. How does he not bring the Prince to the bridge? Well we already had him at the captain's table. I mean that's well, if that's what you want to call that atrocity of a table. Listen, we got the most mixed storylines on that thing in a long time. Yeah, we do. Well, you gotta give him that. Prince says things is typically American and laughs, says they won't be necessary. Of course, I'm talking about these set of instructions. Ted says, whenever he needs a match, he's ready. I'm sorry, whenever he needs a match, she's ready. She says, I must warn you, I'm only beginner. The prince says the best kind. A little creepy. Ted says that Janet has a rehearsal, but she'll be back later. Why would you say she'll be back later? All right. I don't know why I'm doing. Yeah. She says that practice makes perfect, and the princess says, the prince says, only in America. Yeah. Ted comes back, gives him batteries. The prince says, Extra batteries. How old does he think I am? Stubing explains he's holding an automatic chess game and that there has been a slight misunderstanding. The phone rings and interrupts Stubing. And Prince the Prince asks to be excused. He's like, I don't want your update. It's so hard to get a short of ship phone call, and this guy's just taking personal calls and chit-chat with his bro. And then Stubing wouldn't leave. He wouldn't leave. He was just like, go away. Stubing loves a VIP. He just loves to overstay a VIP. Stubing finds Ted. The scene continues. Tries to explain the misunderstanding. Ted says he'll throw him a little dinner party tonight. What what are you doing? Asks Stobing if the prince likes to go to bed early. Stubing says he might tonight. Whoa. And he explains to Ted that the gift the prince thinks he received was Janet. And with that, we go to our first commercial break. Whew. We're back, Mike, and it's the cheerleader rehearsal scene that we that we've been begging and praying would happen again. It's important so we can see no change. No change. At least last time when they had the rehearsal scene, it like was plot, right? Like there were a few things in there. You know, they learned lessons. Ginger Rogers showed up. That is true. Ginger Rogers did show up. Rehearsal ends, and the cheerleader's told to put their jackets on and head back to their rooms. Get your coat. Yeah, get your coat. The handsome brother that jilted his bride excuses himself to go back to his room. Mr. Soap opera, his brother. Hood? Was it? Hud says he'll be right there. He's leaning on one of the jackets. Cheerleader comes up, kind of wants him to get his elbow off the jacket. He asked her to go to the show. They are very Texan. They are way more Texan than they were last time. There's no personality, though. There's no, it's just like because I think it's the same in terms of I think the last episode had three like main cowboy cheerleader storyline actors. It's not like they were great, but they were all better than this. And then the second layer acting from the cheerleaders was absolutely terrible. There is a scene in here later, which is one of the worst things I've ever seen. It's not good. It's not good. He asked her what it would take for her to convert. Again, convert to believing in love in first sight. She says that he can start by telling her his name. HUD. HUD HUD. Oh. Yep. And her name is Jane Ann Maxwell. And they shake hands. Yeah. Doc and Isaac are watching. Doc asks if that's one of the honeymoon boys. Isaac says we told him that info wouldn't get around. Doc says, I wonder why he's with her. And Isaac says maybe he's collecting one of each kind. Alright, well, it's nighttime. Major and Mrs. Latham are entering the dining room. Tells Julie and Doc he's looking for Gloria. She's joining them for dinner. Julie tells them to go have a seat and she'll keep an eye out for her. Julie asked Doc if he's ready for Gloria. What's that? What was Fluke gonna do if the Latham's weren't on this cruise? She was gonna get on. Something was gonna happen with Fluke. She was not. No, she's gonna interrupt somebody's marriage. Yeah, she's some sort of like she's a devourer of people. You can just tell. Doc says that in his hands, Gloria be silly putty. He walks up to her but introduces himself to Gloria. Gloria's having none of Doc's answers. Absolute pain of mine. Nothing. Zero effect on her. Stubing's talking to Ted, tells him that he has to explain that it wasn't gifting the prince a cheerleader. That's a ridiculous sentence. Ted says that he asked the prince to meet him here and he's gonna tell him. Ted tries to tell him, but the prince is thanking him for the gift of Janet. The prince asked about Janet. Ted says she's resting, which is a weird, weird. Uh Stubing says the prince that died at his table tonight. Of course. Join him in a moment. Yeah. I mean, there's no way Stubing wasn't gonna have a prince at his table. Opening night? Come on. Yeah, I mean, he's still he's still recovering from having that failed TV producer of the marriage thon there last week. That's right. That was a rough. And well. Ted says he couldn't tell her, and now he's gonna keep Janet out of the prince's sight until he figures out how to tell him. Flaming Swords of Meater Bite are back, Mike. What is this Greek night, or is this meet on a sword night? I don't know. I assume it's some sort of Arab night. Oh, he's making a big deal. This is this is Stubin's gift to the prince right here. Yeah, showmanship. Hide the ketchup and bring out the flaming swords. Let's go. Lots of applause for these stupid swords, by the way. It's always funny when there's applause in the dining room. I don't get it. Like, what do you? It's a fire. It's you know, I don't I want to eat. Just give him give me my food. And they were clearly display food. There wasn't a lot of steak on those swords. It's not a fogo de chow kind of thing. I wrote on a uh I wrote a couple sketches on a college TV show, and we didn't film it, but I wanted to do cocktail. This guy is choking. Like you're a customer, right? And you're choking and you're looking for a glass of water, and then you cut to Tom Cruise's flipping bottles, and you're just like, please, I just need a drink, and he's just throwing it behind his back and everything. Just a sip. Right. That's that's the same thing. It's just like, I just want to eat. Don't don't bring my flaming sword dinner. No, it's not a it's not a show. I'm I'm hungry. I'm hungry. We uh gopher walks up to the three cheerleaders who were sitting poolside earlier as they enter the dining room. The one who acted like she liked Gopher in front of Flears is there, and Gopher asked to talk to her. Gopher asked if they can pick up where they left off. Like, we're in the dining room, bro. Like right now? Like, come on now. And plus, you're you you've sort of taken the shine away from the meat swordsman. It's like wearing white to a wedding. Like, just don't do that. They're the real stars. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly that's who Flears should have hired. It should have been Spears for Flears. Spears for Flears. I love it. Tears for Fleers. I mean, we got I have many Jeers for Flears. Yeah. Fleers for beers. They should have gotten Tears for Fears. That would have been great. That would have been good. She tells him it was a mistake and she shouldn't have done that until we see Fleers walk into the dining room. Suddenly she's interested in gopher and she starts smooshing with him again. Luckily, you can spot this guy a mile away because he's just hulking. Well, look what he's wearing. Like, how about how about you ever hear of incognito Fleers like low-key? Geez, where's your lounge wear, too? Everything's a freaking three-piece suit with this guy. Yeah, that can't be comfortable. Although he's used to Texas heat, I guess. I mean, he wore two different hats, so I'm guessing he sweat through that sweat through the one. Sweat through the suit. I can't believe Doc didn't get a chance to fire off his black hat white hat thing. Oh. It would have been funny if he had had a sweatshirt with words on it, though. Oh, it's just honest text. It's just like a like parallel universe, basically. Cheerleader's done with Gopher again, tells Gopher that she owes him an explanation. Explains that Fleer's been coming on strong, and she thought that if he thought she had a boyfriend, he'd leave her alone. She apologizes again. Gopher doesn't mind. And here's where Flears has an awkward conversation with her boy Gopher. I do not understand what happened here. I would love to hear what you think happened. All right. I actually, my second watch today, I went back through the scene a few times to try to really get the beats on this. So Flears walks up to Gopher. And Flears says he needs Gopher's help to get the one that he wants alone with Flears so he can offer her a job. Then he says it's hard when she's being so friendly to an old friend. He asked Gopher then if he cared about her future. Fleers thanks Gopher for what he's doing for him, and then tells him that it could have could have a bearing on your future too. Boo. So why don't you just pick a different cheerleader? Jesus, man. Well or but why doesn't he make it more overt? Like stay away from her? Like that kind of thing? Just like like you help me and here's ten grand or something, right? Too much sense. Like just make it overt, but it was this thing where he's like appealing to Gopher in such a vague way, and then Gopher immediately takes it, but it wasn't like, or lean on him like you're a very important person on this boat. Yeah, exactly. Which also that's how gopher reacts, right? Gopher reacts like I have to do this because the most important person on the boat is telling me to do this, but that's not what happened. It's almost like they just didn't listen to the scene. So right. And it could have well, it it sort of goes against character. It's just not that hard. They just it they could it would have been very easy just to get where you wanted to get exactly the same way. If Flears is that guy that always gets what he wants, right, he's not gonna approach Gopher like this. He's not gonna ask Gopher for help. He's gonna say, if you basically gonna be like, if you know it's good for you and your career, you'll leave her alone. Exactly. Which is why when you when you make him this card, not cartoon, when you make him this toothless villain. Well, he's just yeah, he's got nothing. He's got no and you can't do it. But if you're gonna yeah, he's got no spine. And if you're gonna do that, then do it the other way and make it very obvious. Like, son, uh here's here's a car waiting for you. Right. Or you know, here's a here's a share of flear oil, or here's a box of pins, like whatever. I got a niece. Do you know what I mean? Anything. Major and Mrs. Landers are having dinner with Gloria and Julie's watching the situation intently. We cut to a very sad-looking captain's table. It's round, and nobody's adhering to the girl, boy, girl seating arrangement. Well, there's like nine women at the table, to be fair. What happened? It's in the middle of the room. Like it's not what they just there's no stability with this damn table. I don't know that we've had a circle. This is terrible. You don't do that. I don't know that we've had a circle table. That that is the captain sits at the head of the table. There is no head of the table. There's no head of the table. What is this? The person's movement? Is this like the Eve Plum's table? It's just terrible. You can't have that. What are we? What are we what are we? King Arthur's Knights? This is stupid. Can we get a real table here? This is just dumb. It's insulting. It'd be great if every week is now just a different chip. Was this a hectagon? Right. It's just dumb. So they're at dinner, the prince begins to tell the lady in charge of the cheerleaders that she'll have one less girl to look after. And of course, Stubing has his trademarked concerned look on his face. I'm going to kill her. Why not why not just tell him right now? Right now. I don't think Stubing wants to be embroiled in an international affair. No, only only Julie wants to get in the middle of an international affair. So head of Cheerleaders asks Stubing why she'd have one less girl. Stubing in the joke of the night news segment, maybe she'll defect to the Oilers. Now give him credit. You didn't think Merle Stubing was a football fan, but he knew another football team. He meant the hockey team. Yeah. He absolutely meant the hockey team. He didn't know anything at this point. Have you heard of Wayne Grid? And for all you people following along, yes, there was an NFL team called the Oilers, and they played in Houston. It's funny you gotta say this sometimes, and they played in Houston. They are now the Tennessee Titans. Right. Which would just devastate Merrill Stubing and probably Mason Flirt. Oh, he's still Stubing still thinks the Oilers play in Houston. Like he doesn't even know. He just says things, you know. Uh he just took a shot. He doesn't even know there's a team named Oilers. He's like a shot. You know, with the racers. Yeah, defect of the racers. What? Hud Hansen's getting cozy with Jane Jane and Maxwell. They're whispering to each other. This guy's smooth. They start smooching. She says, if only I didn't have that 10 o'clock curfew. He says, I have to get back as well. When she asks why, he gets elusive and says, I'm just tired. Why wouldn't you go out, my brother? Jilted a woman, stole her wedding dress somehow. It's an I don't know. I don't know. This seems like maybe a turnoff. Right. I they smooch again. Isaac walks in and sees them, and he looks both confused and happy. Ted's walking around with his arm around, walking with his arm around Janet. She asked him why she asked him why he's dragging her from one dark place to another. Because I'm Ken Barry. I you took the words out of my mouth. Ken Barry wouldn't do that. He'd take her to one of the many illuminated corners of the boat. I re-watched that Instagram reel when I wrote that this afternoon. Made me laugh. So bad for people who join the show late, right? It's like you kind of do have to go to the beginning. Like, I think you can listen at any time, but that's like that is now a 30-something episode old reference. Yeah. That's a good one, too. Ken Barry. Jeez. I was so excited for that guy. You were in a you you had a run there where it was like, I'm very excited about this guy. He was terrible. I was like Reggie Jackson, Ken Barry. It was just Janil. It was just awful. Awful. I asked if she's ashamed to be seen. If he's ashamed to be seen with her, he says he loves being seen. Yeah. Yeah. A Dallas Cowboy cheerleader is going to be like, anyway. Why did they not say that they were dating before this, though? They didn't. They did that. Right. Yeah. Clearly they're dating now, but they don't ever say in the first scene. And all of a sudden, and in like a missing scene missing, they're dating, which was not. I alright. I don't even know. Says he loves being seen with her, especially in dark places. Oh shit, Mike, it's the prince. Here he comes. Well, because it adds an unnecessary layer to the story. Ted and Janet. Janet asks why, and Phil explains that the prince will want to spend the evening with them, so they're trying to hide. Well, he doesn't even wait. Why would he hold on a second? Why would he tell her that the prince wants to spend the you know what I mean? Like I didn't think about that before, but that's kind of a weird Well, he's still lying to her about being the gift. Oh yeah. He didn't tell her that yet. But it's just Now why he didn't tell her that yet, I don't really know. But yeah. I don't know. Stooping enters with his arm around the head of the cheerleaders. Prince approaches Stubing. What's that? That's Texi. That's our girl Texi from the first one? From the first one and from the movie. That's right. I believe because I don't think I saw her listed. She played herself, too. She did. I don't think I saw her listed in the second Cowboys movie, which means I believe we have seen all the acting credits of Texas. Wow. Okay. They gave her a lot more to do in this one. Yeah. Stubing says, I'm sorry, the prince approaches Stubing. He's looking for Ted. Stubing says, I haven't seen him. And the prince is looking for an explanation from Ted. He walks away, and the bodyguard gives Stubing a look. Oh. You were just praying for that bodyguard. It's awesome. Throw him. Throw him over. Ted and Janet come out of their hiding spot. Janet thinks this is all ridiculous. Wants Ted to tell the prince that he wants to be with her and he'll understand. And Phil says with some foreshadowing, wanna bet. And we go to our second commercial break. Why do you keep calling him Phil? It's Ted. This happens to me every episode, Mike. As I get older, things start to morph. Is there even a Phil in this episode? Nope. Phil Baxstrom. No? Damn it. I'm telling you. The level of professionalism on my part is people, people who come here for intricate details. Yeah, they're like, wait, who's this Phil character? The comments are gonna light me up on this one. I'm telling you right now. I know you have a personal relationship with David Cassidy. I know you call him Phil. Yeah. Yeah. I mean it is what it is. It says his nickname. It's hard. It's hard to separate. I wrote Ted just above it. We're back from break and we're poolside. Gloria's uh walking with Major Latham and brushes the hair out of his face. Boo, and then walk by Julie. That's that's a tough one. How would Mike Taylor react as Nara in this scenario? Oh well, if I was the Major, I would just not. Number one, I would never be on the cruise. I would have my name tag on. Number two, there's no way I'd be in this situation. There's zero chance. Julie gives Gloria a look as she walks by, and then Julie walks away. Julie is knocking on a cabin door. Nora's doing some sewing in her cabin. Yep. Classic cruise move. She lets Julie in. Julie asks her if she happened to bring a bikini. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I've been sitting on that for an hour and 32 minutes. I just oh boy. Sorry. Sorry, everyone. A little silly this evening. Nora says, no, she doesn't own one that she grew up in a conservative family and she's still a little shy. Also, who are you? Yeah, why are you asking me that? What? Get out of here. Who are you? Julie says, Julie says she has nothing to be shy about. Ask her to give it a try. Settle down here. Settle down. Like this was the you know how I said earlier, like they were kind of walking the line or everything. This is where I was like, oh, this is too much. This is way too much. Now they didn't. That was the only too much, but it was just like, all right, Julie, calm down a little bit. This is getting a little aggressive. Like you just, yeah, she's not gonna throw herself. Like, stop, stop, stop. Julie says, put away your sewing, put on a sun suit and get up on deck with your hug. Sun suit. What the hell's a sun suit? Sun suit sounds like one of those like old man suits from like the 1910s. Like what yeah, with the like it's like a full landers. Yeah, they're not waterproof. It's only good for the sun. Nora says the major isn't lonely up there, and Julie says that's the problem. On this cruise, not all of the sharks are in the ocean. That's right. Some of the sharks are ballet dancer. That's true. That is true. That is true. Nora uh shows a very stooping-like, confused look on her face by all of this. Julie's walking away from Nara's room when she runs into Major Latham. Why didn't she say something like? I don't understand this scene. Oh, she he asked Julie to introduce Gloria to some people because she's had a rough time. So uh she's lonely and wants some attention, and that she's pretty helpless right now. Okay. So I assume that is in there, so you don't think that Robert Culpe is doing anything. But Julie no sells that thing, like well, she just repeats the word helpless. She hates Gloria. Gloria reminds her of somebody. Like she's not like this is probably a dereliction of Julie's job, right? Yeah. Because it's like you know it's there's zero professionalism here. She's not like uh she doesn't even try. Like she's like, nah, I'm not doing that. So yeah, that's it's interesting. And that's the only thing they and that's the only time they touch that. It was just an odd it was an odd like one-off comment that didn't seem to make any sense in the context of everything. Right. Yeah, I don't. It is weird. It's very weird. It didn't advance any storyline, it didn't do anything. It was just like I don't know. Why are we trying to Well at first I thought they were gonna try and give her like a face out, like a face turn at the end or something like that, but that was not it. No. So it wasn't good. Hudson walks up to Isaac and asks I'm sorry. Hud walks up to Isaac and asks him if he's seen uh his brother around. Well, he doesn't say his brother. I don't know what he says, but because Isaac doesn't know that they're brothers yet. Isaac tells him he hasn't seen him. Hud says he can't get out of can't get him out of that bed. Isaac says maybe he's a little seasick. And Hud says maybe he's maybe he's love sick. Which alright. I I'm so annoyed at this stupid honeymoon. Well, it's literally stupid, man. The gay part is over here in about a second. So at least that ends. But yeah. It's just one of the uh the misunderstanding game. Mason Fleers walks by and says, Henson from the Chicago office, the one on his honeymoon, Flears is asking what she looks like. Isaac says, tall, blonde, and clean shaven. Fleers says, Since I'm paying for the honeymoon, name that first kid after me. And Flears walks away. Nope. That's not how that works. No? I don't think you have to name the first kid after who pays for this. Oh, I thought that was a thing. If you pay for the honeymoon, no. Oh, well then I have some pending legal actions then. Geez. HUD explains that they're brothers. You're right. And this is great news for Isaac. Explains that he called off his marriage at the last minute. Okay. Whew, we're off the hook on that one now. I wish the next thing was both brothers jumped off the boat and swam to Mazatlon, never to be heard from again. But that's not what happened. Flears goes to talk to the three cheerleader sitting pools. This guy, man. He says he's looking forward to seeing the cheerleaders perform tonight. The girls thank him, then ask him how well he knows Mr. Henson over there. Flear says, know him. I'm the one paying for his honeymoon. Jane Ann Maxwell is not happy about this revelation. She says, men. They're all turkeys. They're all turkeys. Yeah, just pew, pew, pew. There's no the delivery. Oh, Jesus. And she's the I think she's the good actress out there. Oh, by far. By far she's a good one. The Jane one is or not Jane, the the one that smooches on gopher is just the worst. Yeah, she had the most and she had the most to do. Yeah. Like that was a why not throw uh an actress into a cheerleader. No, I don't think you can do it after the first season when you had the cheerleaders act. But then why bring them back? You know what I mean? Like well, they change we know this from being expert Dallas Cowboy process. We really are. They change them every year, Mike. Just you're not guaranteed a spot. Just ask uh Bucky Dent's girlfriend. I wonder if Bucky Dent's still working out in that elementary school. If he's in two, we're definitely doing. Yeah, I would hope. The cheerleader who made out with Gopher walks up to him. She says that she thought he stayed, he'd stay puckered up for her and not run away from her. He says something's come up. I'll be on my control. Flears is watching the two of them. Stubing walks up, asks Flears if something's wrong. Fleer says every time I turn around, that young officer is forcing his attentions on that cheerleader. And of course, Stubing laughs this off because it's Gopher. Fleer says he's had to speak to Gopher twice about this already. He's lying. He's a villain. Well, unless they had one off camera, which was weird. Yeah. And the first one wasn't. Well, I guess he did. I guess he did say. Stubing says, maybe I'll have a few words with him myself. Boy. Well, uh, hold off a nut. Fleer says no, he'll have another talk with him. Back to Gopher telling the cheerleading he has a lot of work to do. She says she was hoping to go to shore together in Mazatlan. Gopher says, I'm busy. She says, okay, forget it, and walks away. Not a fun conversation for Gopher to have, and Gopher sits on the deck chair digesting what just happened. Here comes Flears, who walks up behind him, taps Gopher's shoulder. Apparently, Gopher's very uh I mean, look, you can tap my shoulder, Mike. I'm not gonna react like that. I promise you. This scares Gopher, and he stands up and accidentally hits Flears in the face with his shoulder. Flears appears to be out cold. No, he is, according to according to the diagnosis. He's out cold. Well, no, I'm glad you. I forgot about that to you brought that up. Laying on the deck with his three-piece suit and his cowboy boots on. Here comes Stubing. We'll go for ask the passers to get duck. Doc. No need to get a doctor, Mike. Stubing opens Fleer's eyelid and says, he's out cold. Let me just say, Mike. You shouldn't do that. I'm no doctor. That's the dumbest thing in the world. Why would you but wait? Just to prove Stubing's ineptness, Flears is actually awake and he smiles a little bit. I wrote, nice job, Stubing, dummy. Uh huh. But hold on, we still need the doctor, so let's get Dr. Brica. Please come to the book. I don't know who this lady is either. Where'd this British lady come from? I'd say they it gives them a little class? Yeah, a lot of class. And they stole her from the Sun Princess? It could be. It could be. It's that other captain's Julie, basically. That's where they traded the radio officer. It's British and better Julie. Remember last week we had five different people doing announcements? Maybe they're just doing auditions. It's open casting. Or is it your turn? Like it's in, you know, everyone, it's like singing in a round. Be one of the swordsmen next week. The swordsman this week. Racket holder next week. Major Latham's coming down the steps to the pool while Gloria is entering the pool area from one of the lounges. He hands her a racket and they walk up to Julie and Nara sitting at a poolside table. Nara is teaching Julie how to write her name in Japanese. Orgato. Orgato. Alright. Nora hands him some sun hands him some sunscreen, and Gloria grabs it from her. Says, I'll do that for you, Major. Wow. She tells Nara, don't worry, I'm a taxpayer trying to protect government property. Wow. Gloria and Major Latham leave together. This isn't good. This isn't good, Mike. I hope it all works out. Shock. Shock attack. No kidding. Janet's walking into the Pirates Cove. She joins Ted at the bar. We should really start a bar called the Pirate's Cove and just do. Is it a pirate bar? It's a throwback to a loveboat cruise bar. You're going to get the disco owls. Are you going to wear the blouse? Yeah, I was going to say. You have to. We're going to open this sucker up and I don't know, Annapolis next year. Nice. Yeah. Big naval academy crowdfunding. Handover fist. Actually, you know what? We'll check our highest download location. Wherever that is. Wherever that is. We're there. She joins Ted at the bar. Not Phil Baxter, but Ted. I wrote Ted this time. She asks if he told the prince yet. Ted says no. Ted explains that the prince thinks he got something else and explains that she's the gift. Very labored explanation. Yeah, he just gets right to it. Like she says that's crazy, and to tell him it was a mistake seems like a logical thing to do. If you don't tell him Ted says, I'd rather wager your life and the lives of the other cheerleaders. And I'm like, what are you doing? Ted says, if the prince finds out, it'll get back to Flears and Ted'll be done for. She says, so just tell him. Yeah, I'd rather run away from your problems. Arab prince. That seems like a sound move. Yeah. Yeah, just let it go. I'm sure he'll just let it go. Yeah, I'm sure. Oh, oh, super cool. Yeah, he's not going to make it happen. Isaac's walking up the cabin hallway, knocks on Gopher's door. Julie answers and says to Isaac, You heard. Isaac asks Doc if he's back yet. Everyone's in Gopher's room, which I don't know if I'm Gopher, how I feel about this. How about privacy? Doc said that Gopher's still in a meeting with Fleers and Stubing. Julie says that Stubing knows that Gopher would never hit a passenger. Doc says the problem is that Fleer reported Gopher for being troublesome. Huh. Here comes Gopher, says he's no longer an assistant purser, he's an assistant passenger. He's been suspended from duty. This guy's been in prison and suspended from work and you can't let this go considering what you just kind of let him. Well, but again, it's it's the problem with the Flears character is at no point after this does Flears seem to be pulling rank. Right? I think it's not it's not like more probably should. It's not like I know that that man hit me on purpose, and if you want me to report to you know the princess line, I will stubing. You know, it was just like this scaredy cat. Well, of course. But we're Stubing Spine, he should be like, I know that he wouldn't do that. You're full of it. Yeah, that cruiser's already paid for. What are you what are you doing? What are you talking about? Like that doesn't you're not the king of the princess Pacific Princess, bro. Yeah. Plus, it's like, by the way, this guy is that big, like, Gopher's not Rick Rude, right? He's not like dropping them out. Like, it's Yeah, but wouldn't you, if you're if you're this guy? I'm just wondering, it wouldn't you just have someone handle this for you? Like the litigation? Well, no, I mean Fleers, like, if he if he's gonna try to talk to a lady, I don't think somebody like that is gonna set themselves up for the possibility of rejection. Wouldn't it be his assistants, like, oh, Mr. Flears would like to see you know what I mean? Like I don't think he thinks he's being rejected or will be rejected. Well, he can't admit it, right? It's that thing. Like I just don't think he sees it, yeah. So narcissistic rich person? What? Ripped from today's headlines. Mike Taylor. Gopher in his civilian clothes is sitting poolside, and I'm thinking, I don't know if that's like if you work at a restaurant as a as a bartender and you get fired, they don't really want you hanging out. Yeah, but you but you gonna but you're kinda like in the middle of the ocean. What are you gonna do? Get in your cabin, bro. Listen to some disco, play a couple records. You know, maybe that was Stubing's maybe that was Stubing's like, you know, olive branch. He's like, I gotta suspend you, but enjoy the fair. Yeah, yeah, I have to suspend you, but enjoy this luxury cruise. Like okay. Huh. And her Stubing, he says he had no choice. Says that Gopher will have a chance to tell the side to the board. I don't know what board that is. In Los Angeles, Gopher says no problem. It's actually fun being a passenger. There's no way that bubbles up to the board. There's no way that bubbles up to the board. That's a stooping decision. Like ultimately, like, come on, man. It's unless, like you said, that dude's throwing around throwing around some weight. I mean, that's it. Well, then it's not a well, honestly, then it's not a decision. You know, Stubing's not going to the mat for gopher. Well, no, if he's gotta like swallow, you know, if he's gotta basically kowtow now, he's gonna it's not like he has to do something, he's not gonna be able to do something different later. Yeah, plus I assume despite being captain of the year, I don't think Stooping is like really the board doesn't have Stubing. He doesn't have Captain of the Year poll. You know what I mean? I mean, listen, Stacy Starguard is still involved in the board, I assume. So she's calling it a favor. Yeah, call give Stacy a call and see if she'll help you out, sir. She's and and she knows the prince. Yeah. So oh, there she's had him over her house for barbecues and stuff. She knows him. He fixed her sink. True. The cheerleader who got him into this issue walks up with some other cheerleaders. She apologizes, said it's all her fault. Cheerleaders offer to talk to Stubing, which shows you it's got nothing to do with like word against word. It's it's fleers. Right. Gopher said he was in a rut with this job, and there are plenty of opportunities. Does the rut include being in a Curacao prison last week? Is that the rut? Yeah, same old, same old same old nonsense. Gopher tells the cheerleader that got him into the situation that he doesn't know what he's gonna do without his job. Be a passenger, bro. It's all you can do right now. Or run for Congress one day, you know? We are in Mazet Lawn. Uh Stubing's talking to Ted. He tells Ted that he can't hold off telling the prince, good enough with the damn. Just tell him already. It's just Or don't. Stubing, who cares? Why do you care, bro? Like, what do you care about? Yeah. Here comes the prince. He asks Ted if he has found the beautiful Janet. Ted says yes, and the prince says that the wedding can commence. He talks again how he just lost one of his ladies in a poker game. The prince says Ted that he will arrange to bring Janet to him. Ted says it would be my pleasure. And I say, Ted sucks. The prince walks away. Ted says there has to be a better way to tell him. It's killing me, man. It's just killing me. Like Yeah. Okay. Here comes Fleers. That one cheerleader wants to talk to Fleer. She asked him what happened with him and Gopher. She said it was just an accident. Fleer says, I hate to think he had any violent intentions. She said that he doesn't, and that it and that if he would explain what happened to Stubing, it might be great favor to her. He asked her to have af he said he dug he asked to talk to her after dinner and before the show as a quote unquote favor. Fleers walks away. Apparently. Like living like smurfs here. Everybody's doing a favor. British Voice says that the ship is leaving Mazatlan. Who's the what is this? That's wonderful speaker. Dame Judy Dench? Yeah. Amazing. Really classes up the old Pacific Prince. Piece of crap. Yeah, it's great. Cheerleader's getting back on the boat. Gopher walks up to Julie, asks if they're ready to sail. He wants to do something to help, but Julie says that's not a good idea. What a dumb scene this was, by the way. Yeah, this took a lot of a lot of those. A lot of those could have been cut pretty easily. Yeah. We're in the honeymoon suite with the brothers. Hud is upset. The girl he was talking to thinks he's on his honeymoon, and she isn't talking to him anymore. He says that she probably found someone else that is, quote, loaded. Well, that didn't take long for that for that tide to turn, you know. Tells his brother that he had the right idea about women. You learned with Harriet. I'm learning with Jane Ann. Except Harriet, who just met Jane Ann yesterday. And he beetle juices Harriet. Yes. So like what enter Harriet Bryce. She walks up to Julie to get her cabin number for the trip back to LA. She asks if her room is near the honeymoon suite, explains to Julie what happened. Then she says that she intends to travel in the same style that he is. So what does that mean? She's just gonna just show up and this is my suite now. So they are in Los Angeles. Right. She gets jilted. Do you think the honey the honeymoon wouldn't have been in Mausalon? They probably like w how did she decide to fly to Mazzalon? I guess. Maybe she was adopting a young boy named Ito. I don't know. I don't know what she was doing there. That was Acapulco. Acapulco. Maybe she's wanting to check out the nice airport. Or she wants to go to that restaurant that doesn't serve alcohol. Something. I don't know what it is. But it helps my dress. Why did you take my suitcase? That's what she's doing. Why is my dress in the suitcase? Next thing you know, when Nara's up there, she's sewing it. She's making like some skimpy wedding dress for her to dance with. Like, what is going on, man? Origato, Harriet Brighton. Origato, Harriet. Don't. I got one more in me. I got one more in me. Nara walks up to Julie, asks if there's something going on to anything going on tonight. Julie says at midnight there's a big show at the cheerleaders. Midnight, Mike? Oh, that's exhausting. What? I'd be asleep for hours. I'm not staying up for that nonsense. Plus, but like dinner starts like six. So full. Six hours of food and then you disco the food away? Before that's a dance, she said, Do you disco? Well, they're holding on to this. Remember, we had that discussion before about how much longer. Going on the assumption that this thing got taped in the early part of 1980, I guess I'll give them a pass, but I was very surprised that disco was still around in season four. So I was almost hoping she's like, Do you break dance? And she teaches uh Nara how to windmill. I was hoping Travellina was gonna show up. Oh, did someone say dance? Who said disco? They wheel him in. Nara, or I'm sorry, Julie says she can teach her in ten minutes. Nara walks up to Major Latham, he's looking at a dress in the gift shop or Pierre's shop. I don't know which one. No, I think that was the gift shop. Pierre doesn't do dresses. I wouldn't, I mean, you know. If they told him to do dresses, Pierre would probably do dresses. I assume there's gonna be another character who does dresses at some point. Oh, I hope so. I hope so. Major Latham tells Nara that the dress would look great on her. Here comes Gloria. Out of nowhere. She's nowhere. She's just unbelievable. The Major says that her expertise is needed. He says that he's trying to convince Nara that she would look wonderful in the dress in the window. Gloria says that men don't understand at all. Major says, I like the dress. Gloria says it takes a fuller figure to carry that off. Nara's far too exquisite to wear something so trendy. A lot of buzzwords in there. Yeah, I don't. Gloria says Nara does dance, doesn't she? She could go to the movies then if she doesn't. Ouch. Major Dinara, let's try the party, okay? Nara says I'll go get my shawl from the cabin. I didn't know you needed a shawl to hit the uh hit the old deck. When you inevitably have to rush out of the dance halls. Well, true. And it's good at keeping two shoulders warm and absolutely nothing else. It's the dumbest piece of clothing. Shawl equals dumb. This is a bad episode to be criticizing the shawl. Oh, that was good. That was good. That was good. Back in the prince's cabin. Here we go again. He's pacing and knocks on the door. It's Ted. This is a big scene right here. Ted, good evening. The prince says that depends. Ted says he's so happy that the prince approved of Janet. Boy, he's really done. It's just he can't. He says there's only one thing better than having Janet? Having two and handsome pictures. Then he says we're three. Hands him another picture. Prince wants to know how this is possible. Ted says, you do play poker, don't you? The prince asks if he intends to use these ladies as chips. Boy, Ted. Talking about playing a fool game here. Yeah. Who's to say that big guy just doesn't beat the snot out of him, even if he does lose, you know? Yeah, there's a lot of gray area here with the prince and his weakness, I would say. So I'd say it makes Harry Morgan look real innocent. I was gonna ask you who would win. Who's the better card player of the three of these guys? Like what depends what it depends whose deck we're using. That's right. You know, let's be honest. I've never played one-on-one poker. No, me neither. Like, are you just using one deck? Are you just using one deck? Because I would think it's very easy to count cards at that point. I right? If I have one ace, then you don't have four. I imagine they don't shuffle till the deck's gone, and you're like, wow, this is really old-made card. This is terrible. The prince hands Ted a deck of cards. They sit down and the prince cuts the deck. Oh boy. High stakes. Do you think do you think the pictures that he handed her were from Bert Confi's magazine? That's funny. That is Nara is back in her cabin. Grabs the phone in the room, asks for Julie McCoy. It was just funny how she's so like gettable on the phone. Julie Julie gets in the phone. Nara asked her to come by her room right away. I will say though, this was among the best phone acting. She took proper pauses. Yeah. It made sense. Like it wasn't like, hello, Julie, Julie McCoy, hello, hello, hello. You know, it was like it made sense. Probably came off a little more frantic than she actually was, but oh, completely, completely. I am so sorry. Bunch of the cheerleaders are talking in a cabin. They want to get gopher's job back. They need to organize against Fleers, and they said, let's show them that we have some power. Got to Nara's room again. It's Julie. Nara says she's remodeling her wardrobe and herself. Wants Julie to teach her how to disco. Meanwhile, she's cutting up her kimono with scissors. I don't know what's going on here. Brick or subset. No, not the Japanese robe. Julie turns on Julie turns on the radio to the disco station. The wall music. Yeah. It's their version of Pandora in the wall. I assumed it was going to be the hockey game. That would be funny. That would be funny. And then Julie tries to loosen Nara up a bit, and we go to our fourth commercial break. Gopher's looking snazzy in a tuxedo walking around the lobby area. Rare tuxedo. That might be very rare. Maybe first? He looked great. I thought he looked great. He looked better than that guy in the brown tuxedo we're going to talk about here in a minute. Awful. Awful. Gopher sees Julie. She asks how it's how it's going. Gopher says he has to get his job back. Says it would take a miracle to get it back. The phone rings at his old desk. Julie answers. It's the cheerleaders, and they tell Julie that they're going to get Gopher's job back for him. And Julie tells Gopher this. Julie says there'll be no cheerleader show tonight. They're all about to become, quote, very, very ill. Gopher tells Julie that's blackmail, and Julie says, Isn't that wonderful? And Mike says, Is that black really blackmail? It's not blackmail. It's just playing a playing a wise hand here. Extortion, I guess, is the better term. Isn't it a pride quo, quid pro, you know what I mean? Yeah. Kind of. Yeah, but it's definitely not blackmail. And it's definitely not gift of the magi. Absolutely. It's definitely not oil. Gift of the magi. Maybe it's frankincense. Hud Hansen in this the woohoo. In this brown tuxedo. This is one of the worst things I've ever seen. This is how good looking a guy this guy is. He's like, I'll wear a brown tuxedo. He looked like a walking Twix, is what he looked like, but he's just so good looking it didn't matter. He runs into Harriet, asked him, like, how the hell did you get here? She tells him she boarded model. HUD says he knows that his brother is over his crazy jealousy. Which again, if we've forgotten his jealousy, his jealousy is it that is that is that life happened. Yeah, life happened. That she had she dated someone before they dated. Which I don't all right. Apparently this guy is a just yeah. They walk to the cabin, but the brother's not there. We see the brother walking with the cheerleader that Hud was talking to earlier, and he's explaining the whole situation to Honeymoon Suite. They arrive at the Honeymoon Suite to see Harriet and Hud hugging. Confusion game ensues. Until Hud and the cheerleader smooch the affair before they met. That kills me. Hud says the cheerleader, maybe we can help him out. I love I love a I love a devious plan to help someone out. It's great. Harriet's talking to Henson. Hud walks in and asks what happened to the cheerleader. Hud said they had to cool it. His brother asked why. He's gonna go read a book when there's a moon and stars out there and a great girl you cared about. Hud says that he shouldn't get involved with her because she's had other boyfriends before. Here we go, Mike. Big setup. Hud tricks his brother into seeing how foolish he's been with Harriet. Hud had him fooled and leaves to go meet up with the cheerleader. Harriet and Henson make up and they smooch. And I hope we never see either one of them on this boat again. What a yeah, what a dud. Dud. Just dud. And again, it's that thing where a couple lines here and a couple lines there. This thing is so much better, but like you gotta gimme something, man. Listen, listen, we're we're free free flowing now. Tell me that she told you she was a virgin and you found out she wasn't. Like, gimme something. That can't be the real reason why he's so it can't be. I refuse. I refuse to believe that. Isaac's in the cabin hallway again. Looks like he has one of those old school like percolator pots of coffee. He knocks on the prince's cabin. The prince and Ted are still playing cards. No, they've been up all night, Mike, playing one on one on one poker. Well, you can tell because their tie is untied. You know that's when you've been playing poker for a long time. You can keep your tie on. So how does it I guess I don't know how the girls work as chips? Like, I don't understand how this game can keep going that long. Are they just going back and forth? Is that well, but what chips does the prince have? I guess none. Yeah, I don't know. He's not a good one. Like that's the thing. They should have played for the oil, like it yeah. Or the bodyguard or something like you know, that would have been funny. Newest member of the Partridge family. That's big among the plays the triangle. Keep Bonaducci in line. That's what they need that guy for. Jesus. Do we get Bonda Ducci on this boat? I don't think he does anything like after the like the the first time I came across the the Deuce was he was on this is a yeah, this is for all you kids in Philly. He was part of the Nut Hut on Eagle 106. So I I remember I've listened to some tapes of his old uh morning show shenanigans. He was great on as a sidekick. I can't speak to how he was as his own guy, but he was very good on the nut hut. But I was also like 12, and you couldn't tell me nothing wasn't good on Eagle 106. You know, there was a time I was in Arizona and he was on the morning radio, but it was hosted by who what's the original man Adam Corolla hosted, yeah. And apparently they hired the Deuce while Corolla was on vacation. So when Corolla came back, they were like, Congratulations, here's your co-host. And there was no chemistry there. No, that doesn't seem like a good way to I mean that's to be fair, that's how I got this job. That's funny. You were you were gonna do the show by yourself. Can you imagine I would have loved uncorrected names? Uncorrected, and then like feeling not feeling super confident, and then each episode would have been 10 hours long. I would have told you about my entire childhood. Or four minutes or four minutes. It'd be one 37-second interview, and that'd be it. So really send your thank you emails to the Danny Bonaducci. That's right, Danny Bonaducci. Fliers is asking the cheerleaders, why isn't there gonna be a show tonight? And they all start fake sniffing with tissues. Acting, Mike. They're amazing. I didn't know they weren't sick. They fooled me. Well, we missed we we we skipped over the the scene where they're well, they agreed to do this or whatever, and they're all like, Are you with me? And everyone had one line, and it was all the people who didn't get real acting spots, and you can see why. It was like, sure am, let's do it. Here we go. Just getting those benefits, and that's all they're doing, getting in that guild. That's funny. This is why SAG went on strike. We gotta keep these cheerleaders. They can't they can't afford all these cheerleaders. It's ridiculous. The cheerleaders get their card, but damn Bear from BJ and the Bear can't get anything going. They don't even mention him. Poor, poor Bear. The cheerleaders say how disappointed the prince will be. Fleer said he was thinking about talking to Stubing about Gopher tomorrow. One of the cheerleaders says their cold should be gone by tomorrow, too. Fleer says he'll talk to Stubing now and then have Gopher bring you some aspirin. Fleer's asked them not to tell anyone how they beat old Fleers. No Mason Fleer is his own game. Dagum, dagum. And they have a deal. Alright. Ted Prince still playing poker. Stubing's now in the room. Why? I don't know. Ted says, Looks like winner takes all. But wasn't that the premise going into the game? I mean, there's two of you. There's two, there's one. Okay, we're both gonna win equally. Ted has a full house. He lays down his cards on top of the picture of Janet. Wow, look at that. Symmetry. Prince says, I'm afraid you win, but doesn't show him his cards. We know it's happening. We don't even need to see what happens. We already know what happened here. Ted thanks and makes a swift exit before he screws it up again. Stubing walks up, wants to see the prince's cards, which is not a cool you don't do that. Like you don't, that's not a thing. Like nobody was more surprised that he got it right than Stubing. Yeah, right? Broken clock. The prince tells Stubing that he has the instincts of a desert warrior. Oh, I thought he said desert wife. Desert warrior or a desert warrior, am I right? Or desert wife. Stubing flips the cards. The prince had four aces, and he asks the prince why. One can only judge a man when he is under pressure. What Ted did took courage, Stubing says, or insanity. Prince says, Aren't they the same thing? I say, No, they're not, actually. Courage and insanity are not at all the same thing. And they shake hands. Disco by the pool, Mike. This song, in addition to the maple leaf being a rerun, I believe this is the song from season two that we would always get with Julie and her parents and stuff. It's like it's that very like stock disco scoop. Well, you can definitely cut a rug to this song. Major says she'll be here. Here comes Nara. No gone this time. Hold on now. Before Nora Nara shows up, this is where we get the flu. Because she's like, maybe she won't show up, and he's like, he'll show up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is where she basically says they never sometimes they never adjust or never adapt. And it was just very like, I know what you're saying, and they were trying to get there. And it was almost like they were like, Well, just in case people aren't picking it up, let's just make sure everybody knows what we're talking about. Which was final. It was very, very villainous. If you weren't sure she was a villain before, this definitely was a villainous. Well, let me ask you, do you think it's a possibility that Gloria really was the way she was because she was sort of racist? More than being, you know what I'm saying? Like, I wonder how much that fed into it. Yes. Based on the case. I think she I think she had eyes on Latham and she didn't even consider the fact that Nara was worthy of her as competition. She's doing it out of patriotism, you know, essentially. No, it but again, and again, I don't think this show is that show, but it's like there probably was more there probably was more there than they actually did, which is interesting because they had time to fill. But I think maybe a couple more scenes with Flug kind of exploring that her villainer a little bit would have been interesting. It just was always the same thing, you know. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Here comes Nara with her new kimono. She dances with Doc. The major sees her and he loves it. Says my wife. It's more like Kamo, yes. Oh, where's the boo button? Where's the boo button? Julia walks up to Gloria. Lovely evening, isn't it? With a big smile on Julie's face. Yeah. Nara joins her husband for a slow dance. He tells her that she is full of surprises. But he liked it too much, I think. Is that what happened basically? He kind of liked it too much. Yeah, like it's weird how she got mad now. You know what I mean? Like, well, she walks off. And the major joins her. She's crying and isn't happy with the way she's dressed. He says he loves it. She says it's just a shell. He says, I just want you to be yourself. She says the dancing was fun and she likes her new dress. She just said. Yeah, she's gone. She's going, she's going through it. This was a lot. Well, I mean, the good smooch Nara. Just smooch him and just I mean, she got on the boat not thinking anything, and then she's got people telling her to wear bikinis and sexy dresses, and she's making hot dogs. Like this was sewing in a room, like just what's this was a this was a wild few few days for Nara. Well, for all we know, she only knows two Japanese words. You know what I mean? She only said two. So just saying. That is true. What's what's a bitch in Japanese? That's funny. Big scene, Mike. Stubing's introducing the cheerleaders. Oh, he is so excited. He loves so excited. He loves to introduce things. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen. Big dance number by the pool. Crowd's going crazy. Flears loves it, and he's standing next to Gloria now. Uh-oh. Which that's a weird. That's like that's like when because he has a pulse. Like that's like when the the gentleman's gentleman ended up with that lady. It's just like, ah, we'll just throw these guys together. Yeah. We're back in LA. Flears and Gloria are leaving the boat together. Gopher has his job back and he's back in uniform. That was quick. The cheerleader and and HUD are saying goodbye to Isaac. Harriet and Henson are saying goodbye to Isaac. The major Nara are saying goodbye to Vicky and Julie. He invites Julie to come over for dinner sometime. Julie says she loves Japanese food. Nara. Don't be surprised if I serve hamburgers and French fries. And Julie says, Saya Nara. And she doubled her. She doubled her vocabulary. Yells her on the end. And that's it. That's not it. See, I knew this was going to happen to you. What do you mean? It was something after the thing? Yeah, I knew that was going to happen because they definitely played that like it was the end. Yeah, I didn't see anything else. What what happened after So they come back from commercial, right? And the final scene is the prince is talking to Ted and his girlfriend, and they he got them a car as a gift. And all the cheerleaders are kind of around, and then all the cast like waves goodbye. So she's leaving the cheerleaders? No, I just think they got a car. I don't know why. Well, who got the car? I'm sure they don't live together. They've just met. Who gets to keep the car? I don't think they just met. I think that's the problem, is I think they are dating. They just didn't explain it. Oh. Oh. I'm glad I missed that. That tidy. I knew that was gonna happen because it was so it was such a tricky like it definitely should have been. Yeah. I didn't even see it. Not worth it's not worth going back from it. And that is that's our episode. I gotta tell you, man. I oof. Totals and recap. Let's open it up. Currently, best is episode one, worst is the two-parter last week. I think this is neither. Yeah, no, it's I'm with you. I think last week was worse. We haven't established a middle, but no, and and I I think there's a world where this could have been better than the first one, but I think it was just Too much filler, too much missed opportunity, just week. Like I said, I think as an hour this thing is probably really good. I think so. If you get rid of that stupid honeymoon story, I think it's a it's a tough one. The honeymoon story, I think the cheerleaders you're just kind of stuck, but they were so much worse than the first. Yeah, the first one was so much better. Yeah. And like I said, they they tiptoed around the the other stuff well enough, but I I I do think we say this a lot, but I do think a streamlined version of this episode probably is pretty good. And I thought the performances were pretty good. I thought there were a lot of good performances. I do too. I do too. I mean, let's not, you know, Schneider was great. You know what I mean? In that role. Like Schneider, the that character, if they had just said, you know, one of those hallmark countries that Jane Seymour's the queen of or whatever, if they had just said that and he just played him the tuxedo version of that, I wouldn't have thought twice about it. I thought it was very good. Like I I I you know. I agree. I agree. Which I was not expecting. No. No. But yeah, it still doesn't save it. Like it, I'm with you. It's not the worst, it's not the it's somewhere in the middle. I I don't think it's a very memorable episode. Like, I don't think we're gonna be like going back in a month, you know, two months from now and go, oh, remember well, and it's the problem with having these it's now up to what eight hours in our first five episodes of of content. It's like it's so it's so much. It was a little easier to keep track of everybody this week, but it was like it's just a lot. There really are it's too much. It's just it's too much. It really, it really is. You hit a two-parter and then a 90 minute, then a two-parter. On man, like I I don't strategically, I get it, but yeah, how about you don't put both parts on the same night? What about if you think about why don't you think about people who are gonna be doing podcasts 46 years later about all this? Jesus, man. Anyway. Captain of the week. Really? Was it oh man? Captain of the week. Jeez, dude. I I I I'm struggling here. And now I'm going back down to look it through. I I would So I while you while you ponder, yeah. I think my first watch, I thought it was David Cassidy, but I do think part of that was because I was just like in that I've never seen him in anything else. Yeah. And I thought he was like playing a a lesser Michael J. Fox, but not in a bad way. Totally, totally, yeah. So I do think he was pretty good, but now after a couple re-watches and talking about it, I do think I do think it's Schneider. Like I think he he really does have a lot of charm. Even the Vosnik was charming, right? It was just like he He was very good. That is a terrible spot to be in, honestly. And once they kind of eased up on the eased up on the gas a little bit, I thought that was that was pretty good and I enjoyed it. It didn't make me uncomfortable or whatever, so well it's definitely like I it it definitely doesn't go to any crew members this week. I think it I think by default, honestly, I mean not not by default, but I thought Pat Harrington had a good uh good episode. I just I I don't think what I'm saying is I look at Pat Harrington and then I look at a silver medalist. Maybe it's David Cassidy. Yeah. But if it's not him, I don't know who it is. Well, I thought Flug was good as a villain, but that was again, there was stuff left on the table. Right. I think Nara was good, but they ran that last scene so hysterically fast. They spent yeah, they spent they spent 40 minutes building it and then they just buzzed through it so fast, yeah. And I thought Julie's streak for me ends, but I think if you take that one scene out with the bikini, I thought she was pretty good. Yes. Because it was like it was it was we've seen them do this where Julie is this like mean grisly person and it's not good. This was like the better version of that, where it was still Julie in there. You know, it was easy, it was easier to stomach this time. Exactly. So worst of the week, walk the blank. That that entire honeymoon storyline was was a tremendous waste of time for me. I got nothing for it. There was no there was no like, oh, this per no, I thought it was time. Yeah, Walter Henson, definitely one of the one of the lesser characters we've seen over the years. I'm gonna go with Mason Flears, in part because I don't understand his whole tactic to your point, bringing a trying to close this deal on a boat. Why are you not closing the deal? Right. This is a massive deal. Why are you not closing it? You sent poor Ted. And also, you know, I don't think the character had nearly enough bite to make it worth it. So or he should have been cartoonish, one or the other. It was like a weird middle plus. You can't take a gopher shoulder block. Come on, man. Yeah, he needed a little more honest text, honest text in the uh in the character than he had. He really did. If we're if we're lining up rowdy Texans, he's definitely at the bottom of the power rankings. I wouldn't if that guy would no one's calling him to the Alamo. I promise you. Like that guy is not that is true. He may not even be a football fan. You know what I mean? That's my oh ironic. You know, the uh and this isn't anybody's fault. I guess it's the writer's fault, but I was very disappointed in the lack of Robert Hood. Yeah. So especially when I hear that it's his only episode, that's that bums me out. So yeah, I agree. I agree. We we should have had more. That's uh totals and a recap for this week. Plugs, hit and season Patreon, absolutely hammered. Whether you're chewing from the stands or tuning in from home, this is the podcast you need. So grab your bat, your cap, and your Phillies Pride. Crack open a beer and enjoy a weekly Phillies happy hour with Chris Jones, Justin Clue, and our very own Mike Robertson. Check out Absolutely Hammered on the Hitting Season Patreon. You can find us everywhere and anywhere you find your audio podcasts. Please do us a favor, hit that download button, hit that subscribe button, and leave us a comment. It goes a long way. We'd no email this week. I've been dying to use that. We've got mail. Well, why don't you not have mail? Why don't you hit it? Because I have something from our Instagram. Oh. You've got mail. Got a message. This is related to our episode one of this season when we had the discussion about how we thought this was a super pack ad for Ronald Reagan with all that's right. That's right. Friend Giovanni writes in on the Instagram saying that Aaron Spelling was a lifelong registered Democrat and supporter of liberal causes. He just knew where his bread was buttered. Ooh. So interesting. That is interesting. And also makes a lot of sense because I don't think Aaron Spelling was in the business of being stupid. So I wonder if Spelling called all this fans marks because he had them all, you know, thinking maybe. But thank you to thank you to Giovanni for that information. And in addition to the email and everything, you can always reach out through all our different medias, and we do appreciate the feedback and any comments. Yeah, hit us up on our email. Our email address is theloveboatproject at gmail.com, or you can hit us up on Instagram at loveboatproject. I did look ahead, Mike. Oh, so did I. Did you want to give a sneak peek? So it's a two-parter, which is awesome. There does appear to be a main storyline that involves some sort of contest or some sort of like, you know, mad mad world situation. I want to focus more. Oh, and also fiance a woman thinks Julie's trying to steal her fiance. So there is that. But I did want to focus on some of the cast members, some returning favorites. Let's see. Stubby nominee, Connie Stevens. Yes. Stubby nominee, JJ Walker. Yes. Stubby winner for Worst Storyline of The Little Rich Girl, Mara Jensen. Oh boy. Stubby nominee Dick Van Patten. Stubby nominee in a different role, Anderson the Stewart. And also Gavin McLeod's wife returns. Oh, geez. So lower star power than we've seen on these two parters, though. I would say Prinel Roberts appears to be the main guy, Trapper John. Trapper John. Yeah, but it seems to be more like TV stars, so I'll be curious to see how it goes. Doesn't mean it's going to be bad. But but there's definitely some people in there I've never heard of. But excited to see how this goes because of how the two-parter was last time. I want to see. I want to see where we're at. I haven't I'm not positive or negative about the season yet. It's too early. But if we get through these five long episodes and we're kind of not feeling great, I don't know what I think about that. And it'll be a lot of time. It'll be a lot of time spent for it. Well, another couple more tidbits about that next episode. Number one, we're back in the Caribbean, Mike. Again? Again. And there are two guest stars that you did not mention. Royalty. Miss Connie Stevens. I said her. Did you say her? I did. Well, one you didn't say. First appearance on the Love Boat. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome, boss hog to the Love Boat Project. I missed that. Oh, outstanding. And that's exciting. Oh, okay. So I missed that one. So that's good. Okay. Now I'm a little more excited. I'm a little more excited. So I would call it television star power. Yeah, big time. Whereas the the previous two partners had had a little more maybe old movie stars or stuff like that. But yeah, we were. They weren't working. TV people weren't working. So it was easy to get them. Oh, I can't believe I I really hope that it's not another chaos on the island princess, though. I I am worried about the Caribbean. Plus, these guys are going to be exhausted. They just got back. They just got back from the Caribbean. Or they're flying to get on the uh the island princess. Is that how it's well? We'll see. Now I'm worried. Yeah, I do. Well, that's something to look forward to. All right. Well, thank you for joining us for episode number 80. The project just keeps rolling on. Until next time. I guess this is where I'm supposed to enter enter something here. Until next time. Or I got to play poker for oh.