LBP #83: David Lee Roth's Macbeth

Big babies, small lies and zero interesting stories. We are so back.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:06

Welcome back. Love Boat Project Episode 83. I am Mike Robertson, joined as always by Mike Taler. Mike, we are back to normal, one hour, no crazy travel episodes of the Love Boat.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

And uh We didn't deserve this, Mike. Last week we deserved it. We didn't deserve this. We did not deserve this.

SPEAKER_04 0:33

We talked about we thought this is probably going to be the first episode that they filmed after the strike. And I'm kind of wishing they had held out a little longer.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Yeah, maybe strike a little longer next time. This is not gotten a little more money. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 0:49

I I was trying to figure out, like categorize the badness of this episode. We've had the ones, the Funichello one, right, where it was boring, just incredibly boring. Right. We've had those big swing ones that just fail miserably. Which was honestly a lot of the bad ones from season three.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

But we didn't even mind the big swings.

SPEAKER_04 1:19

Right, because they felt like there was something going on. This this almost fell like in the middle where it was it was boring, but it wasn't like I don't know. It just felt like this could have been an email. This this this episode could have been an email, I think.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

So I watched it three times, and then I finished the third time earlier today, and I just thought, God, I almost feel like I need to watch it another three times. I'm like, did I miss something the first three times? Because it I don't like I got usually when I watch an episode afterwards, there's something that kind of sticks with me. I want to talk to Mike about this, or the not of this one.

SPEAKER_04 1:58

Just uh in just incredibly thin notes for me this week. Like, there's just like no crazy good quote.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

It seems vanilla ice cream, Mike. It's like flavorless, like clear ice cream gel. There's nothing pleasurable about it.

SPEAKER_04 2:14

I think it's very possible that the best part of this episode is the first 30 seconds of this episode. I don't disagree. After that, it gets really bad. And I and I don't think 75% of the acting was pretty good. You know, it was like this is clearly a writing problem, but it was what if you built a whole episode out of three C storylines? And and C is maybe generous, but C is only because we don't have a lower grade.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Well, is B still passing? That's what I want to know. Is it 65 or over? God say this is I feel like it's no coincidence that there was no captain's table. That's what's wrong with this episode. That's that would have saved the whole evening.

SPEAKER_04 2:56

Yeah, but we did have a return to a captain's table tradition that you love so much.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Which is oh well, come on.

SPEAKER_04 3:03

That's how it should be like we know how that goes. And what a what a comedy piece that was. I do that at home.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:10

Tonight we are here to talk about season four, episode six of the love boat. The baby alarm. Tell her she is great. Matchmaker, matchmaker times two. Sure. Synopsis parents play matchmaker, play Cupid to their children, Brett, and so it's Katie, but multiple times on IMDb they have her as Kathy, but it's clearly Katie.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

I see, yeah. The same thing happened last week with Garrett. Remember, it was Bradley.

SPEAKER_04 3:49

IMDB is struggling. Yeah. Anyway, the kids the kids are on to them and they're tired of it, so they come up with a plan to kind of get back at their parents for this with wild consequences. Single single mom, Cynthia seeks single guy that her baby likes to help out being a parent.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

Well wait, that's what the story was? Because I saw a completely different story, Mike. That that is not at all the story.

SPEAKER_04 4:16

Irresponsible mom?

SPEAKER_00 4:18

Is that the storyline? Well, I no, but single mom. What it the guy gets on, I'm just saying it, it's not her looking for love and some guy tries to think because it it didn't even it didn't even matter.

SPEAKER_04 4:34

Like I'm just saying it was such a dumb yeah, they weren't gonna tell you that in the synopsis. That's the same reason that guy got Kearns. So look, my bigger issue is how how much stuff as a parent can you be doing in eight months?

SPEAKER_00 4:46

Like well, that's the yeah, yeah. Like yeah, thank yeah. That's a big old eight-month-old, too. Baby Freddie, more like baby Frankie, more like baby Huey.

SPEAKER_04 5:00

Shoot. Isaac's aunt Tanya is on the ship, and Isaac convinces the crew to lie to her about her terrible acting. One of the biggest wastes of deadlang, I think we've ever seen.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Poor Mel Stewart. Greatest haircut. Mel Stewart was a great thing. Mel Stewart has the greatest haircut in the game, but I felt bad for him. He was good. He was good.

SPEAKER_04 5:28

He was the best part of this little in addition to this thing being able to be an email, it was that thing where it was like you when you have it with one storyline, you kind of can like uh all right, well, we know where it's gonna go. Like you always say, and this wraps up six minutes in and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

Right. But when they're all like that, I don't know what we did for I don't know what we did for the remaining 32 minutes of the episode.

SPEAKER_04 5:51

I don't it is a it is amazing. When I did the notes last night, I was almost like, okay, one line, so I know where we're at in the story. Next scene, like it's weird.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

It was very and not a lot happened.

SPEAKER_04 6:04

No, like not a lot happened at all. Original air date, happy small business Saturday to you, Mike. This is November 29th, 1980, the Saturday after Thanksgiving. We are we are that's true, we are back in the nine o'clock slot as we somewhat get to a normal schedule. Still have some questions about NBC, but we'll we'll talk about that. But first, I wanted to start with a note regarding last week's what else was on. Really? Okay. We discussed the weird Fantasy Island uh episode where they started it at eight, then ran the love boat for 90 minutes, then went back to the Fantasy Island.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

But we were also questioning like what the hell is Fantasy Island? Like, what is it a magic island? A lot of questions, a lot of questions.

SPEAKER_04 6:56

And there was also there was also a question of they were doing the same storyline about the actress, you know, all that stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a little I'm a little embarrassed that it didn't cross our mind, but that's why our listeners are the best. Got a note in the Instagram from Giovanni. Thank you, Giovanni. Who is a very smart listener? He has helped us out on a f a few things. Lonnie Anderson plays Kim Holland in the Fantasy Island episode.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

What?

SPEAKER_04 7:25

So essentially it is either a crossover or a one continuation. So wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. If you look at the IMDb credit, get away. Like if you look at the IMDb credit, Kim Holland is on Fantasy Island the same night that she was on the look.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

See our CBS couldn't have been happy about that.

SPEAKER_04 7:47

Three hours of Lonnie Anderson as Kim Holland. I mean, I hope she brought more heat. I hope she brought more heat to that second.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

Did she have multiple personalities in Fantasy Island too?

SPEAKER_04 7:58

Well, Mike, we will find out because there are multiple options where we can watch this thing. So I would say, I will promise to the listener that in the next, let's say by by September, early September, yeah, you will have a fantasy that that Fantasy Island episode, which also has some of our love boat favorites on it. We will do that one and complete the Kim Holland.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Well, Christopher George.

SPEAKER_04 8:24

I mean, yeah, we got to complete the Kim Holland Holloverse.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

So I don't sleep on Barbie Benton's in that episode as well.

SPEAKER_04 8:31

And radar and radar. And radar.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

And radar.

SPEAKER_04 8:34

And it will answer some of our fantasy island questions. So we will be going to the island here shortly. Let's do it. Um I'm excited about that. Keep an eye out for that. So that's on in his normal time slot at 10, you have to love it at 9. At 8 o'clock, we have a new show, Mike. Breaking away.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

The the wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. From the movie? Is this a TV show based on that that bike movie?

SPEAKER_04 8:59

So I thought it was a bike movie too. So I'm no, it's a bike movie, right? It's not.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Because didn't they race it like indie? Like in that thing.

SPEAKER_04 9:11

Okay, so maybe, maybe it is. But Kevin Costner was not in the movie. And I was thinking of the same thing. So maybe it was a different movie. Yeah. Breaking Away was a 1979 movie that starred Dennis Quaid and Daniel Stern and former stubby nominee Jackie Earl Haley. And it's about like working class college students in Bloomington, Indiana. Which I guess would make sense to your thoughts.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

This is the biking one. This is I remember this one.

SPEAKER_04 9:39

Okay. So they made a TV show out of it. It lasts eight whole episodes. Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

Well, they're hour-long episodes, right?

SPEAKER_04 9:48

Yeah. It seems like we're gonna have this on our list here for the next two months, basically, because it basically runs through January. Which doesn't bode well for a lot of ABC Christmas programming, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

But how is that a series? Like the end of the movie. No, it's not eight episodes. That's what I'm saying. Like they didn't, they like like the story arc was they were victorious in the end, they they overcame. What what somebody shows up day one and go, you're disqualified. This starts all over again.

SPEAKER_04 10:18

Is it possible we're not thinking of the right movie?

SPEAKER_00 10:21

I think we are. I think we are because I knew I it was a bike movie. I remember Jackie Earl Hay Earl Haley if I said Kevin Costner, but okay. Dennis Quaid.

SPEAKER_04 10:30

But yeah, so if Dennis Quaid is Kevin Costner, yeah. So okay. Well, yeah. So anyway.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

Who's in the show? Does it do we have a listing of stars?

SPEAKER_04 10:37

Jackie Earl Haley reprises his role. A couple other lesser the lead female does. John Ashton is also in it from Beverly Hills Cop, so but it only lasts eight episodes.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

Terrible TV show to watch.

SPEAKER_04 10:52

Here's the good thing. We're gonna have a few opportunities to check in on them if you want, because I think they're around for a couple months on Saturday nights. So what a lineup. What a lineup. Yeah, wow.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 11:03

CBS, of course, KRP and Tim Conway and the eight o'clock hour, and then Mike, we have two TV movies, one on each of the other networks this week. Love it. These are interesting. Uh, on CBS, Desperate Voyage. Love it already. Christopher Plumber Wales. Christopher Plummer is a modern day pirate who robs yachts, okay, takes all the treasure, basically, all the all the riches, and then sends the people overboard.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

So good with all this. He's like he's like a more violent Robin Hood, an aquatic Robin Hood.

SPEAKER_04 11:45

So it sounds like the movie is basically the most of it is these people that the one yacht, and he I guess he picks on the wrong yacht, and these other people are like, nope, we're not going over.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

Steven Segal's yacht. Right. Pick the wrong yacht scumbag.

SPEAKER_04 11:59

Didn't hear, didn't have any idea about anybody else on this thing, but that's from 9 to 11.

SPEAKER_00 12:05

On NBC. I don't know if I could invest two hours in that story. No, I feel like I don't think I could do it.

SPEAKER_04 12:12

I feel like it's the first 20-minute montage of Christopher Plummer chucking people overboard.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Just to establish this piratehood. Yeah, that's great. Give me, yeah, give me a.

SPEAKER_04 12:23

That's like are people, and here's the thing. Give me a highlight wheel. It's a TV movie, so are people going over hilariously or are they going over well?

SPEAKER_00 12:31

It's like G.I. Joe cartoon. Everyone, everyone escapes with a parachute. No one ever dies.

SPEAKER_04 12:35

It's one of those they just roll.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

Yeah, but you just flip car. We're firing thousands of rounds every episode and no casualties, no bullet wounds.

SPEAKER_04 12:47

TV movie on NBC, The Secret War of Jackie's Girls.

SPEAKER_00 12:52

Is this a continuation of the Georgia Peaches from a couple weeks ago?

SPEAKER_04 12:57

Not the Georgia Peaches, but it's not totally dissimilar to that one TV episode we heard about. It's another World War II with the ladies thing. Everybody was ripping off League of Their Own 15 years before it came out. This one is about uh the recruitment of six female helicopter pilots to help out during the war, and they're basically transporting both spies, refugees, and supplies back and forth from behind enemy lines. So it didn't star the main stars again. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

Is punctuality important? I'm just wondering if that's like what are the important things for female pilots? Other than like, don't crash the thing. Punctuality.

SPEAKER_04 13:45

Well, I wonder if it's like a Charles Charlie's Angel thing. I wonder if they're like, you know, six is a big number. It is a lot. I wonder what I wonder how many trained military helicopter pilots there were in 1943.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

Maybe they trained him, always trained him in groups of six. Maybe.

SPEAKER_04 14:05

I don't know. I get the impression these were all British actresses. I didn't really know any of them. I didn't really go that deep on them. But also starring Kirk. Yeah. It also starred former Love Boat Malum, Sheila McCrae. Oh. Who we haven't seen since she was married to Milton Burrell in that boxing episode last season. Oh god. And also stars John Riley. John Riley. John Riley from tonight's Love Boat episode. So you could see him basically.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

Yeah, I was like, wait, John, why do I oh that's what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04 14:38

I don't know if he's like the guy who's recruiting the helicopter people. Maybe he had a baby and moved to Australia. Like, who knows?

SPEAKER_00 14:45

But I don't know. Yeah, interesting. John Riley. Yeah. He didn't have a portal, did he?

SPEAKER_04 14:54

He did not, but I think that was a plot currency. Okay. So that that's my thought. Fine with that. There were two curnsings. One of them I think was a s probably just a regular currents, and then one was a plot currency, because you can't have that dramatic. Plus, they just love having people get on the boat at like 9 33 anymore. The lady that the honeymoon boat got on a couple weeks ago.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

There are like 11 minutes left in the episode. I'm like, what the how are you gonna Oh, you tricked me, love boat.

SPEAKER_04 15:26

Well, he called his parents, he called the parents. Can you imagine breaking up with a girl and then calling their parents a year later? Cold calling. Old call.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

So he could call her parents, but he couldn't call her for a year? Is that how that works? The phone only works once a year. Did she live at home?

SPEAKER_04 15:44

These were older people. Did she live at home?

SPEAKER_00 15:46

Like she's kind of old to live at home. They were like late to be a little bit more. No apartment is gonna hold that big old baby up. Big old giant baby.

SPEAKER_04 15:56

Swen Nader. Credits. I broke these up a little bit into groups because I needed to really keep those parents straight. Not that I really did, but yeah. We'll start with the bigger stars of the episode. Isabel Sanford makes her first appearance as Aunt Tanya. She is back in season six as Aunt Tanya. Really? And she'll be back with Mel Stewart as Uncle Charles.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

You know what's weird about her is it's hard to convince yourself that she's not Louise Jefferson.

SPEAKER_04 16:39

It really is. And it's really tough. And that's why I tried to give that thing some grace because she's just clearly going. She goes for it in the same way that we talk about, like Richard Mulligan did, yeah, or Raymond Bird did. And so you have to respect it, but you're right. It just it's wheezy going for it. It's just very hard. It's the voice. It's the it's this the voice.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

Well, and almost the same, it's the same for George Jefferson.

SPEAKER_04 17:06

Yeah. I guess I've just seen, but I've seen him in other things. Like men and all those things. Right. Even though, yes, of course he's playing George Jefferson.

SPEAKER_00 17:14

But like with her, yeah, it was just weird to me because I was like, God, I I'm trying to stop seeing her through that lens, but I'm having a really tough time.

SPEAKER_04 17:22

Not getting too specific, but the episode that they're back on in season six has has a lot, not a lot, but has some similarities to last week's episode with the horse, except it's about a dog competition.

SPEAKER_00 17:38

An alcoholical dog race? Is that where we're going to do that?

SPEAKER_04 17:41

All I'm gonna say is I think there's just I think Gopher and Isaac buy a dog.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

I think literally is Betty White on the episode. Stop. Well, tune in in two years and we'll find out. If you are someone you love.

SPEAKER_04 17:57

253 episodes of the Jeffersons. Her final credit was a 2004 appearance on The Simpsons. In an episode I kind of sort of remember. Was she herself? Was it a cameo? She was she was herself. And it was when it was when Milhouse and his mom moved to Capitol City and Lisa and Bart had become friends. I would say by 2004, I was kind of like tiptoeing in and out of Simpsons until the movie. The movie.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

I think the movie was the was sort of the yeah, it's where it kind of fell off for me as one.

SPEAKER_04 18:36

Her co-star in this, of course, Mel Stewart, as we said, Uncle Charles. He will only be back one more time. It is the one we just talked about. So we're getting two family returns, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

So well, next time you see me, I will have a Mel Stewart haircut. You won't be the only one with the new haircut, Mike. I'm going for a whole new look. I'm going for the I'll walk into the barber and go, give me the Mel Stewart. And do you think he's like I don't even care?

SPEAKER_04 19:01

He's like, I don't even need a picture. I know exactly what you need.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

In fact, you don't even need scissors. You look boom, you're you're Mel Stewart. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:09

So this is IMDB, but I assume it's true. So he played Henry Jefferson. Really? Who was George Jefferson's brother on a bunch of episodes in All of the Family, but the character never made it to the Jeffersons. I wonder why. So this is clearly like a wink, and they come back again. This once I read that note, and then after watching this, I was like, oh, they must be married in real life or something like that. Like it felt like that.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:40

But but so clearly. I wonder if there was a hel Helmsley problem or where they just wrote him out. But it's like they they did 253 episodes of the Jeffersons. You didn't have one occasion to bring the great, the great Mel Stewart into this.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

I bet you he was Sherman was a little threatened by old Mel. I thought Mel was great. What can you agree? Can you imagine Mel Stewart is George Jefferson?

SPEAKER_04 20:02

I mean, I can it'd be a different George Jefferson, obviously. Agree, but I can also see a really fun battle between those two.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:11

Like it you can just see like brothers, right?

SPEAKER_00 20:13

Like it like I don't know why that would be such a at least a couple times.

SPEAKER_04 20:18

Yeah, I was a little disappointed when I saw that just because it's I I really enjoyed Mel Stewart.

SPEAKER_00 20:23

Yeah, like a lot. In a sea of hmm, yeah, he was he was a bright spot.

SPEAKER_04 20:29

Appeared in all 88 episodes of a show that my mother loved.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

Hmm.

SPEAKER_04 20:33

Scarecrow and Mrs. King. That was a big one. That's Kate Jackson, right? It is Kate Jackson, so there's a little bit of uh Aaron spelling tie in here.

SPEAKER_00 20:41

Who's the male lead?

SPEAKER_04 20:46

Box Slider? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:49

Boy, we're geeks, Mike.

SPEAKER_04 20:51

Well, that was so when we were growing up, we had like like everybody probably did, like a cabinet full of VHS tapes, right? That you would just tape stuff off of. And my mom had a tape because my mom worked nights and it was like the Scarecrow Mrs. King, and she would like tape them, and then she'd watch them, but it was like she had like you know, however many you could fit on the tape because she liked scarecrow Mrs.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

King depends what speed, you know.

SPEAKER_04 21:18

Oh, who knows back then. Yeah, we were we were big into those Maxwell or Max L's or whatever they were, those gray box tapes or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

I remember we would sit around and tape that the the only show that was taped in our house was Hogan's Heroes, and it was to be recorded without commercials. So on a wired mic uh wired remote control, you would try to hit the pause button on the record.

SPEAKER_04 21:45

That's a lot of pressure.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

That's a lot of pressure. I would often not get it right, and it was not a popular thing to be like, damn it, give me that, give me the damn wired remote, I'll show you how to work this beta max.

SPEAKER_04 21:55

Trying to record this is all mixed film when trying to make record music off the radio. And you'd have to hit it real quick with the pause button. And then some stations, Q102, I'm looking at you, they would play like in the middle of the song, they would play like Q102. Like, no, we've ruined my song now. It's justn't gonna work.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

104.3 WZYP of some of our listeners to know that down in Alabama. They used to do like the top eight at eight. And that's the heavy hitters if you're putting together a tape would be on that.

SPEAKER_04 22:26

You know, this were the if we're calling out radio stations from the late 80s, early 90s in Alabama. This is the indication of how this Love Boat episode is going to go.

SPEAKER_00 22:36

I wonder how this episode is.

SPEAKER_04 22:37

Well, they brought up one or four point three double GYP, so multiple times. Oh boy. The only returning star for us out of the 11 people we have listed here this week. Melissa Sue Anderson is back as Katie Cummings. This, of course, is her third appearance of four. She will be back for a two-parter in season nine when we go to Spain.

SPEAKER_00 23:09

Spain? That's a lot. They're gonna go across Atlantic? Or you're gonna fly? Like, where does the boat come from and go to? Listen. That doesn't even make any sense.

SPEAKER_04 23:21

Of course, she is a stubby nominee from last season for best musical performance. Good news for those of you who remember the Chubbs episode a few seasons ago. She turned 18 in September of 1980. So we're good now.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

So that's good. Because her romantic interest in this episode looks like he's at least 20 years older than her. But he is very young.

SPEAKER_04 23:46

He's very young. I think he's like 22 or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

He's talking, hey mom and dad. I'm like, stop it.

SPEAKER_04 23:51

This is not believable. Parents should be put in jail. I will say I thought I think she has gotten progressively better as an actress in every episode.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

Well, that like always just a stupid.

SPEAKER_04 24:05

I agree, but I think she's I think she was pretty good in this for what it was.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

I think it was the best appearance she's had so far on the boat. Agreed. Unfortunately, it's just a it's a shit ball story.

SPEAKER_04 24:16

So way to go. We'll see you in five years. Bye in Spain. Yeah. All right, the parents. So these are the Cummings, these are her parents. Farley Granger plays Charles Cummings. First of two boats. He is back in season eight for a two-parter. That also includes, let's see, Dana Plato and Christopher Knight of the Brady Bunch. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

I want to say that Fairly Granger sounds like a WWE developmental name that they just gave somebody.

SPEAKER_04 24:55

Or it sounds like Fairly Granger, the number one weed whacking company.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

Yeah, like uh if you had if you have bugs, spray on some Fairly Granger. Yeah, it's a weird uh this guy.

SPEAKER_04 25:10

It sounds like he was a bit of a younger star. He was in some Hitchcock movies.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

He's a handsome man in the picture I'm seeing right now.

SPEAKER_04 25:18

This week led the league in IMDB bios that were very long, but didn't say much of anything that helped me figure out who they were.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

Is the best like I looked at his IMDB and I'm like, huh. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 25:32

Yeah, but at least there was something I've heard of in that. That's true. That's true. The wife, Mrs. Cummings, here is played by Joan Loring. This is her only boat.

SPEAKER_00 25:46

Not a lot for these parents, Mike. On either side of these, of the of the, you know, both families. These were not huge roles for these four people.

SPEAKER_04 25:54

She was an Oscar nominee in 1945. Once again, very long IMDB bio that at one point mentions that her career took an inexplicable dip.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

Really?

SPEAKER_04 26:09

Yeah. Apparently she was in a lot of stuff, and then she wasn't. She pissed somebody off. Yeah. This ends up being her last credit, her last acting credit. But she lives for a long time, so one of my.

SPEAKER_00 26:23

Something happened there. She made somebody mad.

SPEAKER_04 26:26

Alright, let's talk about the Renegade. Lorenzo Lamas. Lorenzo Lamas playing Brett Clark. First of three boats. He will be back for two parters in season six. And that Spain trip in season nine. That's right. He'll be back with Moe with Moso Anderson.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

His name's Lorenzo Lamas. Of course, he's gonna be in Spain. Look at this guy, Mike. This is well, come on.

SPEAKER_04 26:54

Forget that one. Let's talk about season six, two-parter, which goes to Greece and Turkey. Involves a diamond heist, Jamie Farr. Okay, I'm kind of excited now. I gotta be honest. Oh, Lebanese. Get real excited. Julie, when she was younger, sent in money to one of those things to like adopt a child or something like that. Not adopt a child, but like give money to a child or whatever. Oh no. In Greece?

SPEAKER_00 27:22

Jamie Farr?

SPEAKER_04 27:23

In Greece.

SPEAKER_00 27:25

Oh, so they bring the whole ship there?

SPEAKER_04 27:27

Well, since they're going to Greece, she's like, oh, let me check in on this this little guy, see how he's doing. Who's that little guy, Mike? Jack Cheneau. No, it's uh it's Lorenzo Lamas. And he is quite wealthy. And I'm thinking in two years, quite handsome. So that'll be interesting.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

He's pretty handsome now. You know, like let's just be honest. Yeah, but that's not her that's not her MO. He can be as handsome as he wants to, but you and I both know. Unless he's at least 10 years older than Julie. She doesn't even see him, you know.

SPEAKER_04 27:58

Didn't you think that old uh old Bill had a lot of Jack Shenot energy in this episode? Yeah, I thought so. D definitely had some like a lot of things.

SPEAKER_05 28:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:07

Yeah. Poor man Tony's Roberts, right? 100%.

SPEAKER_00 28:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:11

He was the only person to appear in every episode of Falcon Crest. 228 episodes.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

Now wait, was that was that the spait, which one was that the set was this that wasn't this was that the spin off of Dallas?

SPEAKER_04 28:25

Or is that I think that's the spin-off of Dynasty? Dallas is Knots Landing and Dynasty is Falcon Crest. Does that sound right?

SPEAKER_00 28:38

I don't know. You really should know embarrassing. They're just soap operas, essentially, right? And I don't mean that in a bad way. It's just for lack of a better Yeah, they're prime time soaps.

SPEAKER_04 28:48

Yeah, I mean that's that's what it is. Interesting. Sounds like she was he was very good friends and a bit of a mentee to former stubby nominee Jane Wyman. Who of course was the was the nun and was on Falcon Crest. So I don't know a ton about Falcon Crest. Maybe we'll maybe we'll watch a Falcon Crest at some point. Let's just watch a Falcon Crest. You know what'd be fun? Huh? We should watch all four of those shows. Oh, just to get a flavor of like Dallas Dynasty, Knods Landing, and Falcon Crest. Yeah. Maybe like in a couple years, because they're all gonna be on these shows. Yeah, maybe we'll let uh we'll let it build up and then we'll just do like uh well, kind of like the soap thing where we've had everybody on soap now, which is another one.

SPEAKER_00 29:34

It's the same kind of thing.

SPEAKER_04 29:35

Yeah, maybe we'll do like a month, we'll do a month of prime time, we'll figure out something like that or whatever. I love it. The parents for Lorenzo Lamas didn't even get first names, they're just the Clarks. Mr.

SPEAKER_00 29:48

and Mrs.

SPEAKER_04 29:48

Yeah. Only boat for Mr. Clark. He, of course, to me at least, is best known. He's playing Merle Johnson, Godfather 2. Do you remember him from Godfather 2?

SPEAKER_00 30:04

I mean, it's been I I actually just watched the first one again recently for like I don't know how many times, but it's been a while since I I prefer the second one as my favorite out of all of them, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 30:14

It's the beginning of the movie at the wedding.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 30:17

And he is Connie's new husband. No, he's not really in it that much. He's Connie's new husband, and when she's acting out or whatever, he's just kind of trying to calm her down and stuff like that, but he doesn't hang around too long. I'll do for a rewatch on that great. Well, it's hard to he he's in and out pretty fast because that's the beginning of the movie. So Merle Johnson, though, was his real life name.

SPEAKER_00 30:44

I thought his name was Troy Donahue.

SPEAKER_04 30:47

Well, that's his stage name, Mike.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Are you telling me? Wait, Fairley Granger, is that a stage name too? Are these all just male like dancers with fake names? What's going on here?

SPEAKER_04 31:00

Apparently he was good friends with one of our favorites, Connie Stevens, though. So we love Connie Stevens.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

All right, well, friend of Connie.

SPEAKER_04 31:06

I never know whenever whenever they have like good friends with on the IMDB stuff or whatever, I just don't know what to do with that. Like, how do you know? I don't know why you'd put it there. It's not like an established working like are we gonna have that when we when we have our IMDB pages?

SPEAKER_00 31:19

Oh, it's gonna be like uh what's that pop-up television, pop-up video, pop-up video? Oh Mike and Mike and Mike have been friends for buckle buckle buck a buck a year, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:28

Speaking of stage names, Terry Moore plays Mrs. Clark. Apparently, Terry Moore was from California but had a Swedish name, but they wanted to give her an Irish name. Because she was one of these like studio actors of the 40s. Same deal, long IMDB.

SPEAKER_00 31:45

Very pretty. I'm looking at an old picture, very pretty.

SPEAKER_04 31:48

She is back in that same season eight episode with Fairley Granger.

unknown 31:53

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 31:54

About that. Well, because their chemistry was so intense.

SPEAKER_04 31:58

They weren't even the married couple. I know.

SPEAKER_00 32:00

That's what that's how intense it was. The public couldn't be denied. Like, we love this episode so much.

SPEAKER_04 32:07

She was also nominated for an Oscar back in 1952, but the most interesting fact about Terry Moore. I don't even really understand this. Boy, she claimed to be the secret wife of Howard Hughes.

SPEAKER_00 32:30

Well, when he was all jacked up and like hiding away that during that period when he had long nails, she's bragging about that, huh?

SPEAKER_04 32:37

But she didn't claim it until after he had died.

SPEAKER_00 32:42

I think she wrote it in a book. I wonder, did she inherit the motherlow then?

SPEAKER_04 32:47

Well, so two things here. She eventually did reach a settlement in the 80s with the Hughes estate, but she also was legally married two different times during the period she claims to have been married secretly to Howard Hughes. So weird, weird, wild stuff. What is going on there? So none of that excitement came across in her acting.

SPEAKER_00 33:12

No, I don't yeah, I wouldn't figure her for that. Like she's a bit of a bore.

SPEAKER_05 33:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 33:17

Yeah, what's she judging Lorenzo for getting it on with Katie? No kidding. You're sleeping with Howard Hughes or not? Seriously. Sneaking, sleeping around, Susan Howard plays Cynthia Bowers. I don't know what to make of that. Or Baldon, sorry. Only Boat. Speaking of what we were just speaking of, she played Donna Krebs for eight seasons on Dallas.

SPEAKER_00 33:45

So it's that thing just like you got all these. It's I bet you there's so many characters that go in and out.

SPEAKER_04 33:52

We had somebody that played Ray Krebs earlier this season. I can't remember who it was. We liked him actually, but yeah, I can't remember. I don't know enough about Dallas beyond the top like three or four people.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

So well, I mean we had Shirlene Tilton, right? We had her right. Yeah, and we obviously had one Patrick Duffy. Yeah, well he'll not yet, but I'm sure he'll be on. But with no Hagman, right? No Hagman? Is that what?

SPEAKER_01 34:20

We're not gonna get Hagman, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:21

I don't think so, I don't think so. I don't think we get top level people unless they have a spelling connection. True. She left the show after the eighth season because they wrote in an affair, and she was like, nah, I don't think that would happen. And then she just left the show. But she was also a bit of a writer herself, so I wonder if it was just like it didn't make any sense. Yeah. She stuck around for that it's all a dream season, but after that she was like, no.

SPEAKER_00 34:49

I gotta go. Alright.

SPEAKER_04 34:52

Alright, Kearnsings, like we said, plot Kearnsing for John Riley, who plays Bill Simmons, the sports guy. Only boat. He played Sean Donnelly. 593 episodes of General Hospitals. Right. That period of time, I think is the period of time everybody was watching General Hospital.

SPEAKER_00 35:18

So Tristan it didn't like Scorpio, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:23

If you weren't Scorpio or Frisco or one of those guys, I don't know if I would have known you, but I probably saw him at some point. Yeah, it's funny. We've had a lot of soap people this season, and we have said it. The soap opera skill set does translate to the boat.

SPEAKER_00 35:40

That's a crazy amount the the the the turnaround time for those shows that they do day. I mean, it's just nuts the schedule they're on. This is perfect for a soap opera person. Like what, two days of one day, two days of work, and I'm done? Great.

SPEAKER_04 35:58

Doesn't have to make any sense? No.

unknown 36:00

No, fuck it.

SPEAKER_04 36:02

Final Kearnsing, although debatable. He had a lot. He had like five scenes. Like it is a weird Kearnsing in that way. Stan Cells. Yeah. Something's weird. As now they gave a name on IMDB as Gig Wayburn. Only Boat.

SPEAKER_00 36:27

He only has 12 IMDB credits. I see that. Remington Steel Hotel.

SPEAKER_04 36:32

Yeah, and he was in six episodes of Dynasty playing Gibson. So maybe we'll hunt down. I just felt like this guy's got a lot of lines. Why is he not in the credits?

SPEAKER_00 36:46

So, but there is one more Kearnsing, Mike.

SPEAKER_03 36:49

Oh, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 36:51

Final Kearns of this week goes to the man that played Robert the Waiter. The great Don Bovingglow. It's his third appearance on the boat, Mike. That name just rolls right off the top.

SPEAKER_04 37:06

I forgot about Robert the Waiter.

SPEAKER_00 37:10

What was he? So in season one, episode 19, until the last goodbye, he played he played pianist, right? This episode, waiter, and he we'll see him in season nine is Howard.

SPEAKER_04 37:27

Mike, that is excellent work by you because the band gets some front and center action in that last goodbye because that's when Paul Burke takes a dive into the drums, right? Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_00 37:40

It's a great episode. It's a great episode.

SPEAKER_04 37:43

Oh god, that's so funny. You know what's funny is as we've said, and as you can tell by the fact that we have not started talking about the actual episode yet, and we're probably like six hours in. Yeah, this will be quick, actually. We apologize for all the lengthy episodes. We don't expect it to go that long this week, but when I was looking down, writing, and you know, they very much call out Robert, and I was like, I should go back and and capture that. Sure. I was like, I don't feel like going back and doing any of this. I got you.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

I mean, I wasn't even going to say it, but he's I mean, a th third appearance, and he had a speaking role. Well, it's in a stubby now.

SPEAKER_04 38:22

Yeah, boy, the well, I mean, we've basically already reached the amount of crew members that we did last year.

SPEAKER_00 38:27

That's true. We we could go ahead and award for some of these categories next week.

SPEAKER_04 38:31

You know, if they're about Doris, don't forget about Doris Roberts.

SPEAKER_00 38:35

We got three different horses as nominees already. So we're doing great.

SPEAKER_04 38:39

Yeah, the stubbies are gonna be great this year. Oh I I will say this we are now six episodes in, which means we're basically a fourth of the season done, which is insane. Definitely not a season of anything, which makes the fact that it was a season of the olds last year all the more dramatic.

SPEAKER_00 38:57

Yeah, 100%. And I'm glad that they got the big award.

SPEAKER_04 39:03

Yeah, I feel like that was in retrospect, that's gonna be a smarter, even smarter, and history will look fondly on that promise.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

I think so.

SPEAKER_04 39:12

All right, let's get on the boat. As we said, not a lot here. We did not deserve this. I'm not even sure I'm also gonna look at my notes because I generally know what happened.

SPEAKER_00 39:21

Yeah, uh, it's not not not much happened, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:24

But the one scene that starts the show was actually the most interesting scene in that the only other time I think we've actually seen the crew members kind of board the boat for the cruise was when Doc and Gover came on during that flood. And even that was like they came in mid mid-boat or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 39:44

Doc came in, remember, and he had a rain stuff on, remember? Because that was and civvies, you don't see all four in like civilian clothes.

SPEAKER_04 39:53

All four of them are in civilian clothes, and like almost felt like either they had an amazing timing and they all arrived at the same time, or did they like carpool?

SPEAKER_00 40:03

How about Doc's jacket? Do you see that suede blazer number one?

SPEAKER_04 40:07

I think it's the same one. Well, I think it's the same one he was gonna wear to go find Gopher in prison.

SPEAKER_00 40:12

Was he gonna trade his blazer for gopher? Take the bigger.

SPEAKER_04 40:16

Well, I like the fact now that we know Doc is a former Beverly Hills doctor, I like the fact that he's kind of playing, he's kind of big time and like Doc Doc must have made so much yokels. Doc must have made so much money that he has all this money still after four divorces.

SPEAKER_00 40:30

Well, he spent it all on Japanese robes and suede blazers, Mike. Come on.

SPEAKER_04 40:36

That might have been who Ray Krebs was. It was the guy who made those people sign the paper. That might have been Ray Krebs.

SPEAKER_00 40:44

That might have been Ray Krebs. That's funny. Yeah, that that may have been him.

SPEAKER_04 40:48

Anyway, the four of them apparently have had some out of out of work fun this weekend. Isaac invited them to see his Aunt Tanya's portrayal of Lady Macbeth at a church play, which I have had lots of jobs where I've had friends outside of work, but that's a I don't know if I've ever would have done that too much. That's a big ask.

SPEAKER_00 41:10

But Lady Macbeth at a church.

SPEAKER_04 41:14

So they kind of immediately tell you how bad it was and how was this the worst weekend we ever had? And Julie's comparing it to Poison Oak and all this stuff. Long story short, Aunt Tanya, terrible actress, awful. Isaac apologizes for it, but the guys are like, all right, well, that's it. That's the end. That's the last time we have to talk about that. Goodbye. End of that storyline. Yep. But Isaac had ulterior motives inviting everybody to that play, and this is where the story falls apart, and really the episode ends.

SPEAKER_00 41:48

This is yeah, it's it's beginning and ending.

SPEAKER_04 41:52

So Aunt Tanya and Uncle Charles are gonna take the cruise. Fine. Okay. Isaac wants them to lie to her and actually tell her what a great performer she was.

SPEAKER_00 42:09

So wait, let me ask you. Go ahead. Is Aunt Tanya his mom's sister? Or is it Stuart? Like, where do you think the Blake is? Interesting. Is his dad's or his mom's in relation to his mom smacking him? I'm just trying to like figure out because I feel like Isabel in this feels like his mom's sister to me.

SPEAKER_04 42:35

I thought so too. I did not consider the fact that it might be Uncle Charles who's in blood.

SPEAKER_00 42:42

Or his dad's sister, or you know.

SPEAKER_04 42:44

Now the dad, the only thing we know about Isaac's dad is that he was older, right? Right. Isaac brought that up, that he was an older gentleman. And I would say these guys are probably contemporaries of Pearl Bailey. So I'm gonna go that they're on the Pearl Bailey side. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:58

Well, because what he's doing for her. Well, your name makes me think it's it that's the sister. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:03

Well, here now here's the question. What is weirder? Pearl Bailey's sister dates a guy who looks a lot like the dentist or or Pearl Bailey dates a guy that looks a lot like her brother. Because this guy looks a lot like that dentist. Oh boy.

SPEAKER_00 43:27

Oh wow. I didn't see that coming.

SPEAKER_04 43:30

Because for one second I was like, wait a minute, did Mel Stewart play the dentist?

SPEAKER_00 43:34

He looks a lot like him, and he does look a lot. Sounds a lot like him.

SPEAKER_04 43:38

Mm-hmm. So either either way.

SPEAKER_00 43:46

Either way. Oh geez. Man, that's gonna be tough.

SPEAKER_04 43:52

I'm gonna be laying in bed tonight trying to go to sleep and going, Episode fourteen, all the way back in season one. Episode fourteen. Trail toothbrushes. So basically, the long story here is that Isaac wants them all to lie to Antonia. I don't know why this no end no, no, and and why did you invite her in the first place? Did you know she was that bad? Like it doesn't make any sense. Like Isaac's going to a lot of trouble for no reason in this episode.

SPEAKER_00 44:22

Yeah, and and again, I I welcome any any Isaac storyline or or or any, you know, he gets some minutes. I'll take it because it's Isaac, but it's still sort of nonsensical.

SPEAKER_04 44:34

You know, I think this is very possibly the worst Isaac heavy role. It doesn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_00 44:42

Like it's a storyline. You had some good players here.

SPEAKER_04 44:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:46

But you just couldn't.

SPEAKER_04 44:48

Well, it's funny because I was gonna ask at one point, was there anything that really could have fixed any of these? Like sometimes we sit there and we're like, oh, if you had just done this or that.

SPEAKER_00 44:58

But that's a but like that's the whole thing. Like it's just I don't think you had bad people in place.

SPEAKER_04 45:04

No, I agree. And I think people made efforts, but these kind of had the I didn't see, I actually didn't even look who wrote it. That's how bad they were. It doesn't even matter. It had a lot of the stuff we talked about when Art Bear and Ben Jolson kind of went downhill. Yeah. Where it was like, all right, we gotta we got a beginning and we kind of have this end thing. And screw it. Screw the middle, and that's kind of where but but even the ends weren't good here.

SPEAKER_00 45:31

Like I feel like that's where that baby alarm. I got it. And I know we haven't even gotten to that storyline, but that was.

SPEAKER_04 45:36

Well, let's get to it. Let's get to it, Mike.

SPEAKER_00 45:38

Let's just uh thank you.

SPEAKER_04 45:40

Stubing is in full Walmart greeter mode this week. Just hello, enjoy your cruise.

SPEAKER_00 45:48

Note on uniform issue. I have an issue with his uniform.

SPEAKER_04 45:51

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 45:52

So if he has a jacket on, right, he's got the shoulder things, he has his name tag, which is important, all those little badges, right? Excuse me. When Stu Mick's not wearing his jacket specifically in this episode, right? He's got his hat on, he's got the shoulder bars, nothing on the shirt. Nothing. No name tag, no, just a blank white shirt. Do you think the uniform? Do you think the Indian from the village people took his shirt too? He just took his name tag and his hat.

SPEAKER_04 46:24

He got a hat and a replacement quick. Give me that crazy lid. Also, give me your shirt.

SPEAKER_00 46:29

How come he's not wearing the headdress this week? That would have been great. Just as people are boarding.

SPEAKER_04 46:34

Blonde woman named Cynthia Bowden boards the ship with her, what we find out is an eight-month-old son, Frankie.

SPEAKER_00 46:44

Kid's as big as King Kong Bundy. Let me just say he is a giant human being.

SPEAKER_04 46:50

Yeah, it's funny. I was trying because it's not it's not as long ago for me to have an eight-month-old as you, but it did seem like this kid was both super advanced in some ways and not super advanced in others.

SPEAKER_00 47:04

That kid could write his own name. Come on, that kid was giant. He was so developed. It's like that kid in Bugs Bunny, when it's like that gangster that sits on the on the lamb, and he and he look he, you know, he disguised himself as a baby.

SPEAKER_04 47:19

Vicky offers to babysit and calls her Mrs. Bowden because we have to make sure everybody knows that she's a single mother. Because this boat is just lousy with single mothers this year. Maybe it's the season of the single mothers.

SPEAKER_00 47:33

You know what? That's not a bad thought, really. It's a terrible who's bringing a who's bringing an eight month like let's just go with the giant eight-month-old baby. You're not bringing an eight-month-old baby on a cruise by yourself to the you know, Mexican Riviera. It's not happening by yourself. I was so stupid.

SPEAKER_04 47:53

I was trying to think about where we were at eight months, and it's like, no, granted, it was the winter, everybody gets sick, like that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_00 48:01

But the winter in Acapulco, Mike.

SPEAKER_04 48:03

We definitely didn't travel, and I just no that the leaving uh the baby with a a stranger, the fact that everybody's just banging doors shut.

SPEAKER_00 48:16

Like I saw the baby eat once, too. It's just no one's even trying to be quiet.

SPEAKER_04 48:20

The kid is awake at like what eight o'clock?

SPEAKER_00 48:24

Wired. He's drinking sweet tea. The kid is ready to go.

SPEAKER_04 48:30

Just to make sure we get the the main plot in here of this. Stubing asks, you know, if he's are you talking yet or whatever, like that kind of thing. He doesn't talk yet, but no dummy.

SPEAKER_00 48:42

He's eight months old. Okay, that's why Stubing's like, well, he's big as hell.

SPEAKER_04 48:45

Well, he listened he only has a kid at 13. He doesn't know how BBs were. The the gist of this is that she's like, Yeah, he's my he's he lets me know if people are a good judge of character, like that kind of thing. Essentially, like, you know how this is gonna go. Stubing asks Holder, he starts to whine. Vicky gets a good line in about being suspicious of you, too. But that's what we get is essentially that you know, if this baby likes you, you're in. And if this baby doesn't like you, you're out. Which is very similar to the story about the dog who didn't like what's his name.

SPEAKER_00 49:25

Cricket. Cricket the dog, of course. Stubby stubby winner. Stubby winner, cricket the dog.

SPEAKER_04 49:32

Maybe baby Frankie'll win best kid.

SPEAKER_00 49:36

I mean I have such a rough time with this story because it's so when she's getting on the ship, Mike, when she's saying, Oh, she's he's the babies, Frankie's the greatest detector or whatever. Yeah, she had this air of like, you know, I'm trying to meet somebody in a way, maybe maybe slightly.

SPEAKER_04 50:02

And I'm just like, Why else would you go? Why else would you go? I'm gonna bring a date. What are you doing? Like I I can't I think stupid. I think I can't remember the first date me and my wife went on after we had a kid, and we have like actual babysitters on dry land here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:23

But we weren't going out cruising for chicks, like it's you know where we went, we went, we went on a date to dinner somewhere near the walnut theater in one of those you know what I mean, those restaurants that are right down there. Yeah, we we didn't go to Acapulco, like, and that's without child. We went to a local restaurant for an hour.

SPEAKER_04 50:43

I was within 10 minutes of my house. I know that, like so. Yeah, we were right down there. And I'll tell you what, come on. I'll I'll tell you another thing. I sure as hell wasn't out for three and a half hours. I know that.

SPEAKER_00 50:53

Like so no, no, no. Why would then what do you bring in the you just got on the boat and you're gonna leave the baby for three and a half, and then you're not even gonna be.

SPEAKER_04 51:02

Don't you still have to don't you basically feed bottle feed every three hours when they're eating?

SPEAKER_00 51:07

That baby look, we saw that that baby doesn't need any more food, Mike. That baby's giant. That thing doesn't even eat, it just eats mashed potatoes, just bowls and bowls of mashed potatoes.

SPEAKER_04 51:21

Aunt Tanya and Uncle Charles arrive on the boat. Aunt Tanya still talking about how bad she was in that church play. She knows. She knows, and she'll never be able to see her friends again. Nope. So, like, if Isaac had just done nothing, it would have been fine. She would have gotten over it. Yeah, exactly. Isaac immediately starts nagging everybody to remind them about having to lie. So like in the most annoy Isaac has never been this annoying.

SPEAKER_00 51:54

It's not believable. No. Like he this isn't the friendship. He's not it that he if he really wanted someone to do that, this is not the way that he would do it.

unknown 52:04

No.

SPEAKER_00 52:05

Do you know?

SPEAKER_04 52:06

Julie, yeah. Julie does it, Doc does it, Gopher does it. They all do it with increasing levels of Aunt Tanya's being snowed by this. So by the time the third one comes and Gopher starts, she's like, you know, she's really like already believing it. Which again, two minutes ago, she was like, I suck at acting.

SPEAKER_00 52:28

Yeah, I'm never doing that again. Right. Wait. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 52:32

Charles is like, I'm getting off this boat. Isaac's like, why? He's like, because if your crew knows as much about sailing as they do about acting, we're all gonna die.

SPEAKER_00 52:43

Mel Stewart was, I tell you what, just yeah, the shining star of the week. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 52:50

We do have a friends and family award. Mel Stewart can get in there. So it's technically family. All right, next next boring storyline. The Cummings are on the boat with their daughter Katie. They were looking for the Clarks and their son Brett.

SPEAKER_00 53:07

This is such a stupid storyline, too. I forgot, I forgot how dumb this one is.

SPEAKER_04 53:11

The Clarks arrive, everybody's glad to see each other. The parents immediately go into storyline mode, which is they're trying to set up Brett and Katie. They've apparently been doing this for years. Brett and Katie, very aware of it, very over it. Right. But they do, I will, I will give small compliments to this, to the Brett and Katie part of it. Yeah. Because they were like, they didn't hit you over the head with it, but they clearly like have been friendly, at least. They've been friends. You know, I don't think they're like keeping up with each other too much, but like everybody's got friends like that, right?

SPEAKER_00 53:48

If you have right, if you have parents that are friends with another set of parents that have a child, they're it, you're gonna like it. Is what it is, you know.

SPEAKER_04 53:55

But basically, that's once again, this could have been an email, or as you always say it's a radio show. This is what it's going to be. Yeah, this is what it's going to be.

SPEAKER_00 54:04

This is a radio show. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 54:06

Like it's basically like every now and then you get Lorenzo Lamas with here they go again. Like that's that's it.

SPEAKER_00 54:12

That's all it is.

SPEAKER_04 54:16

Okay, Mr. Weyburn. You're sitting at the bar, spots old Cynthia. He is interested. But Isaac's like, hey, you see that bassinet over there? Tell me.

SPEAKER_00 54:30

See that giant bassinet? There's an equally large baby in there. Uh what are you doing? What are you doing?

SPEAKER_04 54:39

Well, also, like, I don't know, it's a hot deck. There's no shade.

SPEAKER_00 54:43

That baby's sweating his ass off. She's trying to get him to lose make weight. He's got a fight coming up or something. She didn't give two shits about how hot that baby would be on a on a shadeless deck in the sun in the Pacific.

SPEAKER_04 54:59

I just don't think an eight-month-old should go on a boat. I just, I don't know. No. Unless you're like going to Ellis Island or something.

SPEAKER_00 55:05

Like it's it'd be one like I I know that we took we flew, I don't know, I guess he was a he was about that age, right? But the reason we flew was we had to go to a wedding.

unknown 55:19

Right?

SPEAKER_00 55:19

And flying a reason. Right. It's quicker.

SPEAKER_04 55:22

Right. It's quicker, right. My son has flown already. You know, it's like but and some parents do this all the time, but this just felt incredibly unnecessary, slash, selfish, slash, wouldn't the story have been better if she was going to Australia to find Bill?

SPEAKER_00 55:43

I mean, well, the fact that that whole thing didn't even she was even she went, she's going. I don't know if Jesus just her. It's so dumb. It's just look, I I know I talked a bunch of nonsense about the two-partter and the 90-minute ones, Mike, and I was like, can we just get back to but I'm gonna repeat it. Can we just get back to a normal fucking episode? This is just the worst storyline. It just oh again, I can't I say I watched it three times, and and after the third time, I still felt like I didn't watch it.

SPEAKER_04 56:16

Not getting not getting those three hours back.

SPEAKER_00 56:19

No thing. Watch the same stupid commercials on Paramount. The the commercials on Paramount Plus were better than 44 minutes of this hot gun.

SPEAKER_04 56:28

Weyburn gets her a white wine. Isaac suggests you should get some milk for that baby, but he goes over to introduce himself to Cynthia, and we get a whole bit where the baby likes Frankie likes likes Weyburn gig, at least right now. So he's in like Flynn as far as he's concerned. I'm sure nothing else will happen there. Uh let's see. Alright, so Charles is pretty pissed. Yeah, he's not happy. He's pretty pissed at Isaac for all this nonsense. Isaac starts on his little jag about how, listen, isn't she a great, isn't Antonia a great wife and mother? Isn't it okay that we lie to her a little bit? And Uncle Charles was like, yeah, I guess. And that's the whole reason they're doing this. Awesome. Great storyline, guys. We really we really have thought of everything here.

SPEAKER_00 57:30

And none of these storylines need to happen on a boat either. None of these are dependent on being like in a nautical theme. Not one of them.

unknown 57:39

No.

SPEAKER_04 57:39

Well, except this one, maybe Brett and Katie are at the pool.

SPEAKER_00 57:44

That's nautical.

SPEAKER_04 57:47

Brett and Katie just having some good times. Looks like Brett's like, Katie, get out of the way so I can check out this hot blonde. So you kind of get the impression that these guys are friendly, no real interest between each other, but they're just kids in college, right? Like I have friends that would would kind of do a version of that.

SPEAKER_00 58:04

Sort of brother-sisterly in a way, too.

SPEAKER_04 58:06

Yeah. But of course, the parents see all this nonsense and they think that their plan is is working to perfection, finally. Sure. That's why my notes are very short. All right. Isaac is now working on Stubing, who was not even there to see this play.

SPEAKER_00 58:31

So and I wouldn't think that Stubing would be loose with the praise for any sort of like acting performance. He takes the arts if if I know anything, he takes ballet seriously. He takes the arts. He loves the village people. Clearly, he has a Native American headdress now. He loves him so much. His nephew's a ballet star. So he's not gonna, you know, there's no he's not gonna give up the ghost here, right?

SPEAKER_04 58:58

Merrill. But yeah, but Stubing's like, well, even though I didn't see it, I'm sure it was fantastic and all this nonsense. So he'll help out, of course.

SPEAKER_00 59:06

He's just nice, you know.

SPEAKER_04 59:09

But Isaac can't just take the win. He then goes back to Gopher and says, now we need to do some huge whoppers. Why? Why are we going back now? This is insane.

SPEAKER_00 59:23

Is it it? It it's just not logical. It doesn't follow any sort of logic or or any sort of story arc. It just doesn't. You had enough. Or you could okay, we're gonna follow this arc through. She's gonna get overconfident. Okay, okay. But they just killed it, just another after another after another. Like we get it. Yeah, even Mel Stewart was over it.

SPEAKER_04 59:47

I mean, come on, Mel Stewart was definitely over it. So Isaac's like, hey, I got Julie to to to go back again. And Julie comes into the scene giving the compliments to Aunt Tanya. I think at one point she's like, Oh, and brilliant. And Uncle Charles' like, she didn't say brilliant. Yeah, but it's just yeah, Julie's not interested in this at all. Like, what are we doing here?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:13

It is weird coming off that last week episode. Not a lot for Julie either, really.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:18

No, there wasn't. No, there really wasn't a lot for the crew outside of Isaac. They they all kind of ended up doing the same thing. So everybody was resting up. It's like a real rest up episode.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:29

Where do you see when we have a look ahead to next week? Is a whoo. I you know what? I'll accept a dud this week. Excellent. Because I feel like we're gonna get something magical next week.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:40

Well, I'm okay with that. All right. All right, the matchmakers, matchmakers, yeah, make me a match.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:46

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:47

Time speed. They're back. Yeah. They're just doing more matchmaking stuff. Brett. Brett and Katie catch on to it once again.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:57

Is it the seating thing this time? Is this where the seating thing is?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:00

No, that's a dinner. Let's see. The matchmakers. Oh, they're toasting. That's right. They were toasting to what they think it's gonna be. And that's when we get the whole, like, here we go again, you know, kind of thing. So we failed to mention at the beginning that the parents believe that moonlight and the love boat will help their I don't like that at all. I don't like it at all, and I certainly don't like it from people who don't work on the boat. No.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:31

Don't don't call it the look. Come on. That's just weird. It's like giving yourself a nickname. I don't like it's not right.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:39

All right. So Cynthia is going out for a big old date. She's getting ready to go out. Thank God she's got the 13-year-old daughter of a boat captain to watch her child.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:54

And no reluctance in going out the very first night she arrives with the very first guy that she meets. It's like, wow, okay. All right. Is two bucks an hour a good rate in 1980 for babysitting? She never paid her. Doesn't even matter. It's the best rate, I guess. Five-finger discount, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:16

So what time is it? So she's going out to dinner. So what's like the earliest we've seen dinner on this boat? 6 30?

unknown 1:02:24

Probably.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:26

But this creep that's trying to bed her is not going out at 6 30.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:30

No. So eight. Well, eight seems late based on the baby.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:35

Like, so well, what you gotta do a dream feed at the least, right? Eight months? Like so.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:41

What what no mom is gonna go to dinner like that and leave her baby with a complete stranger and just take off for multiple hours. It's just not happening.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:53

It's so long. It's it's a strange room.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:58

It's a strange they're a weird duo, too. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:03

There's no there's no noise machine.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:06

No noise machine.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:08

Just not people slamming doors.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:11

Just shag carpeting and drunk people in the hallway all night long. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:17

All right, let's see. Now we're now we're at dinner.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:20

Imagine how mad you'd be, Mike, if you went on this cruise, get a little R, and you're right next door to some crying ass fucking baby just all night long, just crying. And it's your break from the baby. God, I would just want to jump overboard.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:33

It's it's the doors are a plot point because sometimes the doors are paper thin. Yeah. To the point where people can like overhear conversations, and then yeah, this this baby is not sleeping, or something in the hallway is waking up this baby. Right. Certainly, these rattling ass doors are knocking around like at least the horses last week didn't keep everyone up all night.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:56

You know, they just went off on a phone or below.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:58

He just woke up stupid.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:00

He just woke up stupid. Uh it's just dinner time.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:06

Uncle Charles is hungry, but Aunt Tanya's got get ready and see her public, and she got a tiara, Mike. And she got it from the gift shop. Because of course the gift shop has a tiara.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:21

We have some in our merch shop now, the Aunt Tanya Tiara.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:26

Have we had a princess yet? We've had multiple princes, but I don't know that we've had a princess yet. I don't think we have.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:34

I think we're just Cinderella, right? That was one. It was like a mafia princess. Remember any of the uh security guards?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:41

Eve Plum?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:42

Yeah, yeah, Eve Plum might have been a princess. But yeah, no. Yeah, that's coming. That's just a matter of time. She's gonna fall for like the poorest guy in the ship. You know what I mean? It all lines up.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:54

At this rate, I feel like everything's coming because we have so much left, but also we've seen so much repetitiveness that maybe nothing else is coming.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:02

Yeah, there's only so many shades of blue that you can use here.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:06

So all right, we are zipping along. Act two. Weyburn shows up for dinner with Cynthia. He's already forgotten the kid. He's like, I've been thinking about Frankie. He's like, who the hell was Frankie?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:21

That's great. You're a weird one.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:24

This is why you didn't get a credit.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:25

That's right. He has a he doesn't even have a photo on my what I'm looking at.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:29

Gopher tells Julian Doc that he's done lying for Isaac, this is ridiculous. They all agree. Because, yeah, of course they do. But here comes Isabel Sanford entering like a queen. Charles is Charles is still Charles is still pretty mad. Charles is pretty mad.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:57

He didn't get any sleep at night when he was filming all this. Damn it. Antonia.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:04

The Clarks and the Cummingses sit down for dinner. This is what we were talking about earlier. So they all sit down. But one of the moms is like, oh no, it needs to be boy girl because they want the kids to sit next to each other. As it should be at a dinner table, sir. And so not since Stubby in season one. That's right. Have we had the boy-girl role, despite Mike Taylor's urgent pleas, we get just the highest of comedy. As everyone moves around in their seats, and guess what, Mike? They ended up in the exact same spot they were. It's hilarious. I love it. Oh my god. It's like a Charlie Chaplin movie.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:45

It's my favorite little thing. Yeah. I love seating charts. Just nothing makes me giggle like a good boy, girl, boy seating the dinner table. Wonderful.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:54

Weyburn is just trying to ply this single mother with booze.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:59

Pulls out a funnel at one point. Yeah, he's just ready. Hey, do you drink fireball? Can you do shots of fireball? Yeah. This guy.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:08

I have gone on dates with people I knew had kids maybe once or twice in the old days. And I think I would just went the other way and I was like, Do you have to leave now? Do you have to go home now? Like I just assumed. And they probably had like 12-year-old kids or something.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:23

Well, I think it changes the overall expectation because there's a greater responsibility at play where this guy's like, look, I got blind or something.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:31

It didn't change this guy's expectations.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:33

He's like, back to your room. Okay, sure. Why not? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:38

Poor Fred. He orders he he orders more liquor for the single mom. Isaac's like, Well, I guess uh you passed the baby test, and he's like, Yep, but now I'm gonna pass the mommy test. So this guy, this guy sees no roadblocks in his future.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:52

Well, plus, as an eight-month, eight, you know, a mom to an eight-month-old, I'm sure she's not regularly tying one on either.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:00

Well, here's the other here's the other thing to hammered. Now he clearly did not see the giant bassinet the first time he laid eyes on her, right? I don't know how that's possible with a giant bassinet. This guy at least fancies himself as a Lotherio.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:17

Oh, he yeah, nobody loves right. Nobody loves this guy more than this.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:21

Nobody loves gig more than gig.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:23

So I keep looking at it and I'm going, that can't say gig. Well, it can't be jig, right? Like jiggelo? Oh, maybe it's jiggle. Oh, it is jig. Jiggelo. There are a few things in this world that I enjoy more than a David Lee Roth impression.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:41

It's just woo.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:43

Goosebumps. That's my favorite.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:46

That's funny.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:46

Jiggle Waiden.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:48

Yeah. But but you would just think, like, of all the gin joints, right? Like, you're not gonna chase down the guy. The because you're right. If you gave two seconds of thought, I can't go back to your cabin, you probably can't come back to mine.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:59

Right. This is a waste of time. Jig should have moved on. There's there's hundreds of people on this ship.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:06

Come on, dude. More parents, interference. Of course, just it's it's unnecessary. This was on the dance floor. It's for pair. They like basically cut in on somebody to free up Katie.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:22

It's just gopher, because remember, Gopher was dancing with her. And then they cut the parent. Which is weird.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:26

I thought we decided we were gonna keep them separated.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:29

They should. It's ridiculous. And then the parent cut in for Lorenzo Lamas, which is like, we know that's not that.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:38

I mean, we don't even we don't even have a rule for that. It's so egregious.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:42

You can't, it's that's designated cutter in. Like, you can't do that. That's not if you're not gonna be the one to cut in, then you can't accept a dance. Like, that's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:52

Stubing has an idea, Mike. Boy. So he tells Isaac, he's like, Isaac. Is Antonia here? Now we failed to mention before when he finally gave Antonia that compliment. He like chased her down in the hallway. He never met Antonia. He doesn't know what Antony looks like. He just chased down a black woman in the hallway and assumed it was Isaac's.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:17

He's gonna walk up to the wrong woman. Oh no.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:20

So at least he knew to ask this time. He gets up, and this is always just the worst. Whenever you give Stubing a stage, it's always just the worst.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:31

Don't may I have your attention, please. Hello, everyone.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:34

And so he basically is like we had in our midst, we have a fine actress who played Lady Macbeth recently. He knows none of the details. These are all the details he knows.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:43

He just heard it from guys from Isaac, scuttle butt at best.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:47

So he's like, you know, I think if we if we give her enough applause, she'll she'll stand up and take a bow. And Stubing thinks, okay, I I'm so good at this. I'm so smooth. But he doesn't know that Antani is a psycho at this point.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:02

He doesn't know what he's getting into at this point. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:05

So she gets up and she just starts doing Lady Link Bath.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:10

And this is where I couldn't get out of the Louise Jefferson thing. Oh yeah. You know? Because I I couldn't. It took me out of it. Not that there's much to be like wrapped in up in the scene, but it was weird. There's very few actresses or actors like that that just take me out based on population.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:31

It's hard to character. It's a very 1980s kind of thing. Like there was just more typecast, not typecast, but like just getting stuck in a role. Like Colonel Hogan. Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:44

People like that. So you know, radar, same kind of thing. They're these these, you know, classic characters. Well, Alan Alda, right? Wouldn't it be a good thing?

SPEAKER_04 1:11:53

Well, and she well, but she's in a tough spot because her voice is just so distinct. No, you're right. You know, it's like it's not just the role, it's she just sounds again. I think she tried. I think she did the best she could what was on the page. It was just a stupid, stupid part.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:12

What if Phil Harris had had been playing the Mel Stewart role? I think he would have been great too.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:17

What if Phil Harris was playing Antonia?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:21

I mean, it would work.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:25

Boy, this Shakespeare's a job, mother. Shut your Melbourne. The only good part of this whole thing was she's kind of buzzing through the not Lady Macbeth parts, and she said, and there's some other folks, this Mc Macbeth guy. She just kind of doesn't care. She doesn't care. I would say Macbeth is probably the play I know like the second most about. Like everybody knows Romeo and Julia the most, but like Macbeth is probably the one I know the most about. Like, I definitely make the blood on your hands, can't wash it off thing joke a lot as a reference.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:00

Were you a big Mel Gibson fan of it? Is it the Mel Gibson version you're you're the fan of?

SPEAKER_04 1:13:05

I bet you the first one I saw was no, he wasn't. That was Hamlet, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:09

Isn't it the same, same thing, right? Basically. It's not the same. Same thing. Isn't it part one and part two? Like Hamlet.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:15

Mel Gibson's Mick Hamlet. I took a Shakespeare class at Temple and we watched the old one with Orson Wells, I think, maybe. How was it? I mean, those things all feel dated. Like when Lady Macbeth jumps off the castle, it's pretty it's not there wasn't AI back then, put it that way. It's like they just kind of threw a rag down a hill.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:43

I was a big fan of I like Taming of the Shrew. Yeah. More so, obviously, Romeo and Juliet thought was awesome, but uh Taming of the Shrew was probably uh we used to go to yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:53

I don't know if we we probably still went when you moved up there, but every year in West Philly, they would have Shakespeare in the park, and we would see something outside in an outdoor production.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:04

Who could forget that? I remember those days.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:07

It would be two, three hundred degrees. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:13

Just we just have just bottles and food and yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:17

Just how much liquor can you drink on a picnic blanket in the middle of the afternoon?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:21

It was it was just hydration at that point.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:23

It wasn't even called yeah, it's called culture. One year, one year I went four times with four different groups, and it was like, why am I here?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:34

You were reciting the lines by the fourth time.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:37

It wasn't even a good one. All right. So Weyburn is going back to the cabin, and this is where it's like, dude, did you think this out? This is so this is uh this is not gonna go well. He he can't go in Cynthia's cabin because there's a baby in there, right? Can't go back to his cabin because there's a baby in there. Like it's like, and he's she's got she at least knows she has to relieve the babysitter after three and a half hours. So what is that about? What do you think Vicky did for three and a half hours? Like nowadays, when there's no TV on the boat, you don't have a phone. Like, did she bring a book?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:13

Like she probably listened to that like like the ship radio. The hockey hockey game on the hockey or like those pre-programmed disco things that go over the loudspeakers.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:23

She's learning disco.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:24

She's learning disco. Teach the baby's teaching her out of disco. That's what's going on.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:30

So they come back and she Vicky leaves, doesn't get paid, to your point. But that's seven bucks that she's gonna make cha-ching.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:38

Yeah, do you get three and a five hours and Jesus cheapskate? Good lord. Um, it is a human life, Mike. Go ahead. Sorry.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:47

Cynthia goes to check out the baby. Old Weyburn goes in and he gets the baby alarm. And that's the end of you, buddy. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:57

You got to go. Goodbye. But what if he didn't? What if he didn't leave? Or if he didn't get the baby alarm? So what happens with you know what I mean? Is there a fight?

SPEAKER_04 1:16:10

This guy definitely tries to quietly have sex with her.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:16

100%.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:17

Like 1 million percent. Just like which honestly kind of impugns your skill set there. That's true.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:26

That's true. I mean, I will say on on the you know, when they do like the diving in the Olympics, it's it's not just like what you're doing, but there's also like a degree of difficulty added in. Yeah. So I'm just saying for all the people he could have approached, the degree of difficulty in this particular approach was so much higher. Yeah, probably anybody else on the ship.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:47

But that doesn't, yeah. Why? But why would you go for it's like sometimes they leave shooters open for a reason.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:55

So he's the Chuck person of uh dating single moms.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:00

Goodbye, Gig Weyburn. We barely knew you. Rest in peace. Bye, Stan Sell. I guess I get it. You could be back for best horn dog. This is I mean, he definitely that's a horndog. Oh, he took a shoot.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:12

I mean, it's a horndog, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I mean, why not? Let's let I throw him on my list. Why not?

SPEAKER_01 1:17:20

All right, let's see. Uh somebody is trying to. What does this even say?

SPEAKER_04 1:17:31

Oh, it's funny. I put Breddy. That's what threw me off. I was like, old Breddy. Brett is trying to convince Katie that they really he has a plan to kind of get the parents back to to knock off all this interference.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:44

Brilliant. Because you know, he's known for his brains.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:47

He's a renegade. He's a renegade, Mike. Katie's like, I don't know, this seems kind of extreme. Like they mean well and all that stuff. Then Julie comes over just to cause some trouble. So Julie's Julie's like, hey guys, good luck. And they're like, What? Oh, yeah, good luck in the shuffleboard and dancing competition. Now, I assume these are two different competitions, but Julie's kind of sound like they are the like cross-country events.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:20

So where it's like Oh, like the biathlon.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:23

Yeah, where you like ski and pick up a gun.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:25

Like it's like you do a lap and you put that thing on your back and you go and you hit the shuffle board, but you dang. Alright.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:32

Anyway, the parents signed her up. Julie's like, yeah, your parents signed you up, and then she's like, later. Julie just chaos agent, Julie McCoy. Kidding. Good job, Julie. This convinces Katie that Brett is right. And she agrees to his plan of pretending that they're sleeping together. Although he, of course, doesn't say pretending before we go to commercial break. What's more together than sleeping together? And we go to our second commercial break. Oh, see, I feel like if this was a real studio audience, that would have been like, whoa! Like a married with children or something.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:14

Oh man. Okay. Act three. Shit.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:22

Yeah. I think I lost my spot because my computer's like, no.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:29

Okay. This whole scene. Let's let's let's do it, then we'll get into it. So the clerks knock on Brett's door, they're looking for him. He springs into action as soon as the clerks arrive with the plan. And he's like, Oh, I'll be right there. Actually, I'll I'll meet you at breakfast. No, he must know his parents are psychos, and that they will not take that for no. Because then they just kind of start frantically knocking on the door. The mom was like, open the door, then yeah, the other parents show up. I will give them a pass only that Katie didn't sleep in her bed last night, so maybe they were a little worried and they there's a little more urgency, but still there's this this like when you just ask Nock and go, Hey, have you seen Katie Katie? Right. Because again, he's a college student on the love boat. Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:23

It's very busted. How old are they making him in this thing? 21?

SPEAKER_04 1:20:28

Well, I mean, they referenced the party before they both went to college, right? So you figure that felt like they're at least sophomores. Right? It feels like I'm gonna say they're at least sophomores. So if she's 18 in real life and he's 22, let's just call him 20, somewhere in the middle.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:45

Well, because of the bottle of champagne in the room. That's why I'm wondering.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:48

Yeah, but it's international wooders. What's the drinking age? Is it 18?

unknown 1:20:53

Maybe.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:53

I don't know. Maybe I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:55

There's no rules. It's monkey, it's monkey pirate. Whatever you want. Diplomatic immunity, Mike.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:04

I'm not naming this episode diplomatic community. We will name one eventually, but not this one. No matter how hard you try. So he lets everybody in. He's like, Oh, good, you're all here. So they have strategically placed, you know, two glasses of champagne, jockey shorts, the bed's a mess, like these kind of things. He plays coy for a second, then he kind of is like, Yeah, I had I had a guest here, which his mom is very offended by. Again, what do you think he's doing at college? He's Lorenzo Lamas.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:38

Like, have you seen what your son looks like?

SPEAKER_04 1:21:40

I mean, Jesus, dude. Didn't you get married while you were married, mom? Like the hour do you use?

SPEAKER_00 1:21:46

I yeah, no, yeah, you of all people.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:49

Sorry, I'm not on the spruce moose, mom. No kidding.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:53

Apparently, she likes men with long fingernails, too. So good luck with that.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:00

The both sets of parents are getting a little suspicious, again, because Katie's missing and all this stuff. It goes a little far. It goes like way far. Like I, it's funny. Normally I would be like, this is unrealistic. There are not parents like this that get into people's lives at this age, but I know I do know some people who are a little too involved. Their family knows a little bit too much about their romantic life when they're this age. And oh yeah. It's not good. It's just not a good thing. Like my meddling, man. It's meddling. My mom went 15 years between meeting people I was dating, I think. So it's just like this is just smart. This is just smart business. So ultimately, who pops out of the bathroom in a towel?

SPEAKER_00 1:22:52

Didn't see that coming.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:54

It's Katie. And the parents are mortified. They all leave. Pretty good plan, I think, ultimately, for what they were trying to accomplish. Well executed.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:06

A little extreme, but it's not a good idea. I think it's a little dramatic. You know? But all right. It's good for it's TV, it's good for the love boat.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:16

I'm cool with it. Everybody runs off. But I assume that's the end of that story. Yep, that's it. It wraps that up. Aunt Tanya. Oh, now we get into the psycho. Mm-hmm. Aunt Tanya tracks down Isaac. She's got a problem, Mike. And the problem is Uncle Charles. He thinks that her acting is ruining their marriage, but she thinks their marriage is ruining her acting career. Of course. Of course.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:44

So she is going to leave him and head to Hollywood.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:49

You don't think at a point, like at a certain point, Mel Stewart couldn't have just kept it real with her and been like, hey, we've been married for X amount of years. I just gotta tell you. You know what I mean? Like that wouldn't have had weight. Considering that it's a bunch of strangers giving her compliments, has more weight to her than her husband telling her that she's out of her mind.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:07

Well, there's also just this, like, wouldn't it have been easier to accept if she hadn't got on on the boat realizing she was bad? Right. Wouldn't it almost have made more sense if it was like they went and saw it, it was awful. Isaac runs into Uncle Charles right away, and he's like, Listen, your aunt is being crazy. Could you just make her feel a little better? Right. Something like that. Like that would have been a little easier. This makes her look so ridiculous and not grounded in reality.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:42

Well, then you could have been Mel Stewart, could have been like, look, we created a monster, right? And it creates that opening for him to have that earnest conversation with her at the rail, and she's like, Oh, I love you, Mel Stewart and your haircut, and everything works out. But without that, everything got way out of hand.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:00

It's also that thing where I know I get it, right? But it's the same thing about all the people who threaten to pack up and get off the boat and fly home. Like, you're this quick to threatening divorce. Right. That's you know, that that's hard to put back in the tube, even if it's, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:20

Yeah, but as quick as they are to throw for people to get married, like in, you know. I mean, is there a divorce boat where it's just a bunch of people that are that are unhappy, then suddenly happy at the end of the sh end of their cruise because now they're divorced?

SPEAKER_04 1:25:33

Is that I'd watch that.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:35

I'd watch that.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:36

Maybe with the maybe that'll be our follow-up project. Divorce boat. Divorce boat. I feel like we have to do all these primetime soaps we've been talking about. We're gonna be very busy. We're gonna be very busy. Stubing checks in on Frankie, he's like, fuck off, Stubings.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:53

I already, I already, I already cried you know, in your presence. Get out of here.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:57

Throws a cigar at him, leaves. So yeah. The okay, so the Clarks and the Cummings are now fighting because they're each blaming the other for the bad parenting and right, the Jezebel. We get Hussy in here, we get sex maniac. Oh, like they go right for the jugular. The worst part of this whole exchange, I think, is that they both quote forbid their children to see the other.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:28

Don't they go to college together?

SPEAKER_04 1:26:30

Aren't they 20? When's the last time you think your parents could have forbidden you from seeing someone? Like middle school?

SPEAKER_00 1:26:41

I don't know how that works. Yeah, I don't okay. So just you just go, okay, sure, great, and then just walk away. And then yeah, but it's it's what it is, it's the forbidden fruit now. I mean, come on.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:56

Julie had walked over the Clarks to the Cummings table, or vice versa. Honestly, I could barely keep them separated. But so she was there when all this fighting was going on, and at one point, Troy Donahue's like, she's under sex, just like her mother.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:14

That was funny.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:16

Which was hilarious. And then Julie, once again, season of Julie, is just like, I'm gonna go. And she's like laughing when it's happening. So that almost felt like that was an ad lib or something. Like that seems like pop Larn 2's a little bit. That was that was funny. There were, like I said, there were a few things in here. Nothing worth saving. But I think we were I think I was just more disappointed. I didn't I will say this, and maybe this is a very important thing when we talk about the worst episodes. It's I didn't hate it. No, I didn't hate it. There was nothing to hate, it didn't make me angry.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:49

It moved, it moved very fast. It moved very fast because nothing really happened. But again, at the end of the day, is I was just disappointed because there was just nothing there. That's all.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:01

Charles threatens to sue the princess line. Stubing's like, listen, we were just lying because Isaac asked us to. Sue your I can't sue family, but I can kill him. So he's gonna go kill Isaac.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:14

You can't sue family. Is that true? I'm no lawyer, Mike, but that doesn't sound right to me.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:20

I mean, I guess you can. How could you not?

SPEAKER_00 1:28:23

How could you not be able to sue someone in your life?

SPEAKER_04 1:28:25

Probably worried about that pearl, that pearl bailey right hand.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:28

He's probably Yeah, that's true. He didn't want to mess with that.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:31

Could lose all his free dentistry. Welcome to Acapulco, home of the 10th annual. Acapulco Steeplechase classic. And Bill Simmons, apparently. And the sports guy, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:44

So the crew. What the hell does that even say?

SPEAKER_04 1:28:53

Oh, whatever. I can't read my writing sometimes. The crew says that this Tanya thing has to end. And Stubing is like, someone needs to tell her the truth. And they're all like, not it, basically. And we get to the point where Isaac's like, well, I guess I'll do it, which no shit, Isaac. That's you started this. And it's your aunt. Like, what are your aunt? Like, come on, bro. This has gone on just long enough. William Simmons boards the boat in Acapulco and is talking to Gopher. Gopher tells him he could still get some late dinner if he wanted, but he's like, No worries. Looking for a Cynthia Balden. Gopher knows exactly where she is, which is Leto deck. Yeah. And then he's like, I'll find it, which how?

SPEAKER_00 1:29:42

Nothing's marked on this thing. I'll tell you how. Right next to Gopher when the camera panned out, there's a big door with a glass window in the door. It said Lido deck in giant letters. I was like, that's never been there. Funny. It has never been there. No, I was like, what? No. That's that is literally right next to him. I think I can find it. Well, yeah, because there's a giant sign right next to you. Of course you can find it, William Simmons.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:08

There, this was a bit of a Paddington boat this week. Nothing to the point where it was like one of those, like, here's four minutes of Panama Canal Facts. But like the time between Bill goes to find her and he finds her, there's a lot of just kind of like interlude, and there was a lot of like fanfare music in here. They definitely knew they didn't have they didn't have all the all the stuff.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:33

Well, then they were like, way to the audience here's about William Simmons. Oh, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:38

So Sports Guy is like, hello, Cynthia.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:42

So please.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:44

I always feel I always feel like this show undersells when meetings like this that are in 1980 technology goddamn impossible, right? Right. She gets in a fight with this guy who is the father of her child, right? And she knows that he doesn't know this. Right. He moves to Australia. She is on a boat in Acapulco with the eight-month-old baby. And this guy strolls and she's like, Bill. And then she just goes right into conversation. Like, wouldn't you be gobsmacked for like after a year? How did you get here? It's the it's the um the Jill St. John one from last year. The spider serenade where that guy just appeared out of smoke.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:32

It's just like I and the other thing too is the way he said is like, oh, talk to your parents. Like it was like if it's so easy to talk to her you guys haven't talked for a year.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:44

And this is just miracle timing, like all of it. Like that's the thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:48

Like there's if she was with old Jig making out on the deck.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:52

I mean, listen, if Frankie hadn't said something, yeah, because I don't think I don't think poor man's Tony Roberts, Bill Simmons, is gonna put up with this. No. So not at all. He as you said, he called called her parents, which again, I guess if you had that level of relationship, you could. I don't know that I've had that level with that many people that aren't my actual in-laws, but sure. And they tell you what, that you're on this boat, but I don't they have a tracker on her, like I don't right.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:28

And you just happen to go right, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:31

And where did he call? Where do you think he called from? Was he in Australia? Had he gone back to Los Angeles?

SPEAKER_00 1:32:38

He can only live and travel to and from places that begin with the letter A.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:42

Oh, so he lives in Anaheim.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:44

She's in Arkansas, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:46

Alabama, Arkansas.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:47

Alabama. She's formerly in Alberta, Canada. So it's all A's. That's what it is.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:56

So obstensibly, mom and dad told her. And again, like how many boats, like, like do you have the tracking number of the ship?

SPEAKER_00 1:33:05

In slip number four on Tuesday in Acapulco.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:10

Anyway, the parents said that she was on board with Frankie. Now, I guess I can see a world where the parents don't want to blow up her spot. That's her story to tell.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:21

Why would they say anything?

SPEAKER_04 1:33:22

But why would you say anything? Right, exactly. Yeah. She's not here. I can take a message. How about that? Guy who left.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:31

Well, maybe not even guy who left. It was like there was an argument. Yeah, I don't it didn't like it did not seem it didn't seem like he did anything.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:40

Like I thought they were well, we'll get there. We'll get there. Yeah. We're we're very close to getting there. But basically, he's like, So you what, you love this guy? And she's like, Yeah. It was a pretty clever scene, I would say. Yeah. In terms of he's talking about this Frankie, like, this is who she's dating, and she's saying things that aren't she was not lying, Mike. She was doing the can I tell a lie thing. But yeah, Frankie is weird looking and has never worked a day in his life. He's got four teeth, like all this stuff. William's ready to beat the shit out of him. He's gonna he's gonna pound, he's gonna pound this guy for being ugly, I guess. Like, isn't that the crime?

SPEAKER_00 1:34:17

Short and bald and ugly with no job and four teeth.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:20

Yeah, how dare you take my woman. So Cynthia's like, You want to meet him? He's like, Yeah, you damn right I do.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:25

He's like, Yeah, no kidding, because you think your normal thing would be like, No, I don't want to meet him.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:30

Yeah. Although you got on the boat, I guess, in for a penny, in for a pound, right? I mean, so whatever. And then that takes us to a commercial. So again, they that was a decent, that was a decent effort there.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:42

Wouldn't you think they'll go for what if if William Simmons walks up and he goes, I'm looking for buh-buh-buh-buh. Who are you? Where's your cabinet number? Like something I've never seen you before. Or am I am I being too ticky-tacky about that?

SPEAKER_04 1:34:56

I mean, in the real world, I would hope so, but we've seen them give out information. They gave out information to the Lonnie Anderson last week. They sure do. She's a famous star.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:09

Just the zero operational security on this boat, Mike. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:15

It would have been funny if he was like, Yeah, she was uh hooking up with that gig uh gig way burn. You ever hear of him?

SPEAKER_00 1:35:22

This guy's first name's Jigolo, Jig for short. Every time he does something.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:40

Bill starts to get second thoughts about meeting this dude, and he kind of tries to back out. Now, when I first watched it, and she says, Are you gonna chicken out? I thought she said, Are you gonna chicken out again? And when that happened, I thought, oh, he did leave. Well, she didn't say again, she just said chicken out. So I think I was just writing a better You're just I think I was just writing a better storyline in there. Yeah. But he's eventually like he'll he'll go in. He got he got bowed up at by that chicken line, so he he goes in. Turns out nope, Frankie's a baby. Yep, don't have to punch you after all. Yeah. And it's your baby. So yeah, let's unpack this. So the way they sell it is they had a big fight. Must have been he went to Australia a year ago. The baby is eight months. So she would have known when he left that she was pregnant?

SPEAKER_00 1:36:51

Well, she was pregnant when they had the argument. If the baby's eight months old and she saw him last a year ago, she was already four months pregnant.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:00

Yeah, but would she have known?

SPEAKER_00 1:37:04

I would think afterwards. I would think so, but maybe not.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:07

Maybe not. But maybe she's not showing. They made it seem like he had no idea she was pregnant because that would have made him.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:17

He was completely shocked.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:18

Right. So I feel like they should have done a better job on that timeline.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:23

Or made it clearer. I don't think the year thing works. No. No. It doesn't work. It's gotta be more than that. Or the baby's gotta be well and the baby's gigs older.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:34

Maybe it's maybe it's gig's baby.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:36

Yeah, we had that argument 16 years ago. Shut up, Dad. Yeah, no kidding.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:42

So Bill is Bill now, Bill treats this with the appropriate amount of shock and gratitude. He's very excited, a little overwhelmed, but he asks if he can hold the baby. She says yes. He wants to get back. She at first pretends that she doesn't. You know why, Mike? Because she wants to check out this baby alarm.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:08

Right. She wants to know what's up with this 26-year-old man who cries when there's somebody around he doesn't trust. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:14

Now, I would have paid you, I would have bet you hundreds of dollars at this point that he was gonna say daddy. Like just no, no question in my mind.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:29

Seal it. Seal the storyline right there.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:31

Right. Instead, he just kind of makes some pleased giggles and goo-goos and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:37

They do say that later, though, don't they? In the end?

SPEAKER_04 1:38:40

They say that he did say daddy, but they didn't show it. But this show is not a show that why would it be? This show is not above just giving us a lousy ADR baby saying.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:55

This guy's not my father. Gig Wayburn's my father. Where's Gig Wyburn?

SPEAKER_04 1:39:01

This is definitely enough. This is definitely enough for old old Cynthia to say, yes, daddy, come home. So all's well that ends well. Fine. I mean, in an episode where nothing happened, I don't know that we had to do all those scenes so quickly back to back. You actually could have probably stretched. Wouldn't it have been more interesting if he got on the boat and there was a little bit of other stuff, and then you did the daddy thing? Like you could have saved that one pretty easily.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:36

100%. Yeah, I think I think at this point too, they were just trying to get to the finish line.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:41

Yeah. Fair. That's fair. The irony of all this is my son is in another room crying as we talk about this baby storyline.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:52

He knows he wants to see it.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:55

He's got some issues. I got some stuff to say about babysitting at eight months.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:59

Well, that's why I look my my name tag on this says Mink Taylor. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 1:40:03

So that's right. He does, he only refers to you as Mink. Shout out.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:07

All right, let's see.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:09

So the baby, the baby stuff is over, everything is pretty much wrapped up there. So now it's time to wrap up this other deeply emotional storyline. Isaac's Aunt Can't Act. The afterschool special.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:30

Wait, which is the strongest story of this episode?

SPEAKER_04 1:40:35

I think that the A storyline is the Isaac's ant thing, but that's mainly because Isabel Sanford's in it. And all the crews involved, right? Yeah. That kind of.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:46

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it is a weak A story. But if this yeah, next week's gonna be great, though. It's gonna be so good.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:56

You are putting way too much hype into this, and I don't know what next week is. So wait to tell you. Isaac finally confronts his aunt and tells her that she's terrible actors. He tells her like 15 times. It's like Robin Williams at the end of Goodwill Hunting.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:11

He's just like You're just you suck. You're a bad actor, you suck. You're just not a good actor. You're just not a good where you'd think she'd be like, Oh, I get it. Isaac, I thought she was gonna smack him like his mom did.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:23

They just treat it with a level of like gravitas that it is undeserved. Like she's not dying, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:34

No, we don't need like harp in the background to describe the scene.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:37

Hey, listen, listen. We were trying to make you feel better. You're not a good actress. My bad.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:41

World won't end. Yeah. Everybody calm down. I love you, I love you, Antonia. It's not that. We I thought I was doing the right thing, and and I created a monster.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:49

Now, if you don't knock it off, I'm gonna slap you like my mom slapped me.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:52

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:53

What if you called her a swinger?

SPEAKER_00 1:41:56

Oh she'd be like, what did Five Fingers say to the face? Just it would come so fast out of her hand.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:03

So yeah, but we get like the the sad music again. This was they were trying to treat this with a level of emotion that was not not there. Yeah, like nobody's dying.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:13

No. It's a very easy, it was like it wasn't like she was on Broadway and she bombed. She was in like church theater. It wasn't it really wasn't a big deal.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:24

There's probably there's probably a way they could have gotten into this that would have been a little bit better. But ultimately, yeah, like wouldn't it have made more sense if they don't go see her, they're on the boat, Uncle Charles is she comes on talking about how great she is. Uncle Charles is like, you are lucky, you are lucky you didn't come to this thing. I'll never get it. And then it just happens that it's a it's a passenger talent show week, and then she's terrible at acting, and then they have to lie, and then or something like that. Like you can you can get there better. Yeah, you can get there better than they did. So you know what? Or you could have just not had it, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:09

But I almost feel like the praise he gave her wasn't like a really like it wasn't a nice thing to do.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:15

You know what I mean? Like it not at all. It wasn't nice at all. It's insulting too because it's like she is an adult, right? Yeah, like and she she clearly was not snowing herself until people started lying.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:27

But she was embarrassing herself in front of all these people based on this false thing. You you can't let your family member look like an idiot in front of a bunch of people like that.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:36

Lies make baby Jesus cry, Mike. It's just it's a great point, Mike.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:40

It's a great point.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:41

All right, Brett and Katie are honestly a little taken aback by how the parents reacted to the plan.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:50

Like Hatfield McCoy's now. Yeah, you're not happy.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:54

They kind of feel bad about it, but in the course of talking about this, they both take the time to compliment each other's performances and the acting. That was definitely something, including old Lorenzo noticed old Moso Anderson in that towel. Yeah. And he liked what he saw. Well, you noticed, eh? And all of a sudden, we go to Smooch Town. Terrible acting by Lorenzo Lamas here. He's not is he is he not a good one? What the what the hell was that? Who's that? He's good sometimes and not good others, but it almost wonder if that's just one of those things where they just used a take and that was, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:32

Can I have another shot at that? And they're like, we don't have time, Lorenzo. Double L. We gotta go.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:37

Moving on. So they're a little surprised by that. And they even say, like, man, if I had known you better, I would think of our our parents, you this is how they got us, right? Or whatever. So Lorenzo's like, listen, before we tell them that nothing happened, let's make sure nothing happens tonight. Which smooth, smooth move.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:56

Super smooth.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:57

Brett goes to a party school. Like, I don't know what's Arizona State, maybe. He's gay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:02

He's U R I, UR High, like one of those just great schools. Yeah, he knows.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:08

His parents, both sets of parents, just airdrop out because of course, and they're like, I thought we told you people not to talk to each other. Which again, we're not talking, we're smoothing. Right. They explain that listen, nothing happened last night, and then one of the moms is like, Yeah, but what's this about then? And he's like, Well, we don't know either. We're gonna go figure it out, which was which was good, right? They're not in my head. I'm like, Oh, that's good. They're not overreacting to this.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:34

No, but they're about to go in the cabin and do what everyone thought they did last night tonight. Damn right. I mean, like, if you guys are mad, if you are already mad, you're gonna be even wait till you see what I do to your daughter now.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:47

Yeah, each of the sets of parents apologizes for the nymph and sex maniac and hussy comments, and all's well that ends well, I guess. I guess everyone has gathered into Stooping's office.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:02

This is the worst one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:04

Stooping Antonia has asked us to gather here. Antonya.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:11

He says so. Yeah, I I'm uncomfortable even talking about this scene.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:17

It's just so remember that scene in Jedi when they're doing the the Death Star plans, yeah. And Mon Mothman's like, yeah, a lot of people died getting these, and then Akbar's like, General Nadine.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:29

It's like that's what it sounded like. It was just like Antonia.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:36

It was very, it was it was a very Admiral Akbar tone. That's fucking it was weird.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:44

Please find the week. You must hit the tractor bee.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:47

Wait, it's just it's he's in this like proclamation mode.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:50

He already made just real Antonia will now tell us about the farce moon of Endo. It's just like weird. It's a fair. So it's Antonia is like, listen, all you people saying I'm bad. Too many people to be a coincidence. Like, obviously, I'm I'm not talented. And you would think that this would make me stop acting, but you're wrong. I'm not talented, but I'm still gonna pursue my dream and go to Hollywood and leave my family. And she walks out. And before you can even like, no, I I saw exactly where this was going as soon as you start talking, but two seconds? Like, she even like she comes back in and she basically is like, Gotcha. I must be a good actor if I fooled all of you, but you didn't even give them enough time to be fooled. They were probably just like processed. Boy, that what a terrible, what a terrible actor set was.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:44

Yeah, what that yeah, like no one we no, none of us believed you. You're a terrible actress.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:51

Yeah, so so she says, you know, she's a good wife and mother, and you know, maybe she'll try Broadway, but she's not going to Hollywood. And everybody gives, and at some point, like Stubing like oversells a laugh in here, like he was just like kissing. I don't yeah, it's weird. And then they all give her like a like a standing oh, it was just whatever. Yeah, whatever. Let's get off this thing. Act five. The matchmaker parents are so excited about playing this wedding, and of course, they have a club that you know the reception can be at. These are definitely club people.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:26

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're on the city.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:27

Jokes on them, though. Yeah. Jokes on them though, Mike. Because Brett and Katie tell Julie that they got married in Cabo St. Luca last night. Little fast guys. You're college kids. You did not need to get married.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:43

You smooch for the first time and then bam, marriage time. Because it's that thing where it's like to get married in 1980. Good lord.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:50

But this this more than any of them doesn't make sense because you you you cracked the code about how to play your parents now, right? It's all out in the air. Theoretically, they would leave. Now, I guess they don't want to deal with are you guys getting married? We're gonna play in the wing. I I get all that. They could have so maybe that was the idea, but you could have waited.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:10

Yeah, but maybe they were gonna chill out on that whole thing, the parents, you know, since it freaked them out that they thought this was together.

SPEAKER_04 1:49:18

I feel like the parents were, I mean, clearly the parents were not gonna chill out. At least I understand that. No. Maybe just never go see your parents again.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:25

I mean, I think that's kind of the the overarching like message people are gonna miss.

SPEAKER_04 1:49:33

Bill, Cynthia, and Frankie are leaving. And they, like you said, they tell, they tell but don't show that Frankie said daddy. And then uh Frankie calls Stubing Mommy, because take that, Meryl, right in the face. As they leave, Vicky's like, I'm gonna miss that baby. Meryl says, Oh, maybe you can babysit for him on land. How you don't have a phone? Are they like going through the phone records and chasing these people down after?

SPEAKER_00 1:50:00

A babysitter, like what are you doing? You owe my daughter seven dollars. Like, what?

SPEAKER_04 1:50:05

Yeah, that was funny. Vicky, Vicky had literally like two lines in this thing, they were both very funny, but she's like, wait a minute, she never paid me, and she goes running after that scoff law.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:15

I gotta say, Mike, like, yeah, with some Vicky going. I don't mind Vicky. I don't mind Vicky. I think that they have her in a nice little pocket.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:24

Yeah. Two part Vicky is a different Vicky, and I don't like that one, but when they just let Vicky be the comic relief, and yeah, I don't like Blood Brother Vicky either. Like, don't cut your hand, Vicky.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:35

But I like this Vicky.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:36

Heavy drama Vicky, I don't need, but comedy chops, Vicky's got except for like Vicky's up there with Gopher and Doc in terms of comedy chops. Like she's I think so. She's got it. Charles tells everybody that, you know, now that Tanya's kind of calmed it down, maybe I'll join her in some of these church plays. I used to do a little acting and he was clip. He does a little acting, really, really goes for it. Isaac says, you know, he wasn't that bad. And everybody's like, Isaac, which is just like a Sesame Street line me. He's like, Oscar.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:10

It's like the the the audio version of the freeze frame. You know?

SPEAKER_04 1:51:15

Yeah. No, 100%. Yeah. But yeah, that that's it. That is a thin, unoffensive, uninteresting episode six of season four for us here. Comes to an end. So recap. Totals and a recap. Best episode of the season was last week, episode five, which was the Acapoko Steeplechase classic 10th annual. The worst episode coming into this week was either of the two partners. We each thought one of them was worse than the other, but we definitely thought one of them was. Yeah. I think we have a new winner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This was definitely the worst.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:00

Without effort, this thing crosses the finish line. It's worst episode with just at minimal effort.

SPEAKER_04 1:52:06

Yeah, yeah. It was. And like I said, nothing that offended me, nothing that angered me, but nothing that interests me.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:13

So it was No, just I feel like it was it was 44 minutes.

SPEAKER_04 1:52:20

We also talk 44 minutes. We also talk about this sometimes, and I'd love to go back and find a few, but unmemorable in terms of are you really gonna remember this thing in a couple years? Like are you gonna be able to pull this one?

SPEAKER_00 1:52:34

Like standout moment. Is there a standout moment? I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 1:52:37

There really isn't. No. In terms of across the board, nothing pops out. Like I do think like Mel Stewart was probably the best thing in this, and he was fine. It wasn't like it's not like it's not the Dabney Coleman in the Papito episode, right? Like that's the best level of that. This is more like I'm really not gonna think about this episode much at all for the rest of my life.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:04

Like if this was a sinking ship, his performance didn't even like help us float that, you know what I mean? It was still unfortunately. Yeah, no, I agree with you.

SPEAKER_04 1:53:14

Alright. Well, at least we cleared up that two-parter thing. So the last two episodes are the podium winners so far right now. So true. Which, I mean, for us is rare. Usually those things happen very, very early in the season, not five and six, but that's true. Captain of the week.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:33

Again, I I think we kind of said, I think I have to go with Mel Stewart. I don't know who else to pick.

SPEAKER_04 1:53:40

I I I agree. I I I have a bit of a a clap for Melissa Sue Anderson. I thought she was pretty good just in terms of relative to the other stuff. And then Isabel Sanford at least gets points for like just going for it.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:55

Isabel Sanford, she's great.

SPEAKER_04 1:53:56

It's just yeah, she took a swing. It's not her fault, but she tried not not not a lot there. And I thought Bill Simmons was pretty good, John Roberts.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:04

Bill Simmons was good too.

SPEAKER_04 1:54:05

But walk the plank worst of the week.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:08

I'm going that Jig, Jig Wyburn guy. I don't I mean, because I can't fault them all just for bad storylines, but as far as a character goes, I think Jig Wyburn was just kind of as shady as they could.

SPEAKER_04 1:54:22

There will come a day when truth will pass away. What will they say about me, Jig Wyburn? Jig Wyburn. I'm going with both sets of parents. Those were just one trick pony rolls, and I have a personal hatred of the overbearing parent on a TV show. Yeah, it's just so unrealistic. It's just for for all the unrealistic stuff on TV shows, that trope bothers me just because well they go to it so often.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:53

Like it's like on the it's it'll be back two more times this season, at least over under overbearing parent storyline the remainder of the season, you know Spain.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:07

Maybe we should track just like repeat storylines in a season. Because yeah, even that would be I mean, it's gotta be. Yeah. All right, that's Tilson recap for this week.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:25

Plugs hitting season Patreon, absolutely hammered. Whether you're cheering from the stands or tuning in from home, this is the podcast you need. Grab your favorite beverage and your Phillies Pride and enjoy a weekly Phillies happy hour with Chris Jones, Justin Clue, and our very own Mike Robertson checkout. Absolutely hammered on the hitting season Patreon. Mike, I'll have you know, I now listen to the hitting season.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:49

I hope so.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:50

I listened to my first few episodes of hitting season this week, so or last week.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:54

So well, good, just in time for the long break we took for the all-star break. Oh, well, good, good, good, great timing. Great timing. Well, the all-star break's over now. We're back. We're back live at the end. It was a game tonight.

SPEAKER_00 1:56:05

Yeah. Yeah. You can find us anywhere and everywhere you find your audio podcasts. Do us a favor, hit that subscribe button, leave us a like, write us a review. It goes a long way. No email this week, Mike, but you can email us at the Loveboat Project at gmail dot com. Mike, I did look ahead. And we have a reason to be excited.

SPEAKER_01 1:56:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:56:30

Next week. We welcome Jah Gabor. Oh, wow. Okay. Aaron Gray. Oh. We've been talking about this for a long time. We have been talking about Aaron Gray. I'm excited about that. We welcome back. Remember, remember the guy, remember Mark that almost drowned in the hot tub? We welcome back Joan Van Ark.

SPEAKER_04 1:56:57

Oh, yes. Stubby nominee. Stubby nominee. That's Horndog, I believe.

SPEAKER_00 1:57:04

And the return of another Stubby Award winner. Marshall Stubing.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:14

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_00 1:57:16

We meet another Stubing brother. Oh my god. Melvin.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:23

Melvin. So wait, are we getting are we getting multiple Gavins again?

SPEAKER_00 1:57:28

Yes, we're going. We're getting three Gavins next week, sir.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:31

Oh, I can't believe he's gonna win all the stubbies again. Again? Oh my god. Look at that. You got me. You got me. That's a good one. I mean, come on. We have to call wait, do we have to call Jonas? Do we have to call it? We might have to call Jonas the official. Marshall Stubing's back. So that should be come on. That should be that should be that should be a good one. Yeah, I'm excited. Our first silver spoons. Yeah. I gotta show the rare. We've had a few sister combinations now. We'll have both gabores. That's uh that's exciting.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:05

Do you think we get John Houseman on the boat?

SPEAKER_04 1:58:11

Boy, that's I guess I never really thought about it, but it's possible. When you said silver spoons, that's what popped in my head. Oh, I would love to get John Houseman on this thing. That would be great.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:19

I think I am an amazing Jonathan Houseman impression. But you don't feel confident in it now? Next week I'm gonna bring it back. I need to probably I need to work it out a little bit. Fair enough. It's been about 40 minutes.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:30

You think I was working on that David Lee Roth impression all day?

SPEAKER_00 1:58:33

It was great. That's my favorite impression ever. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:37

All right. Well, that's exciting. Next week is exciting, this week was not, but that's okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:41

That's how it works.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:43

But we're gonna deserve next week. We are now completed the first quarter of season four, which let's go. It's nice to have one-hour episodes, even if they are bad, because at least they're fast. That's right. Well, that'll wrap us up for episode six. We'll be back with what seems to be an action-packed episode seven to kick off August. August two episodes, and possibly that Fancy Island one that we were talking about, so stay tuned for all of that. But until then, yeah, thank you, Mike. Thanks to Shakespeare for all his help in putting this episode together. Make sure everybody wash your hands and that big baby. That's right, Glenn Davis. Thanks everybody for listening, and we will talk to you next time.