LBP #84: Kayfabe And The Kissing Of Grits

Welcome to Lujack City, darling. Hope you like lettuce, loose ethics and a lot of Stubings.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:06

Welcome back. Love Boat Project Number 84. I'm your host, Mike Taylor. With me, as always, is my co-host Mike Robertson. Ahoy, Mike.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

Hey, Mike. There are so many things that I could say in this little opening part, but I really just don't want to take away from all the time that we need to spend on Joe Lujack, so I'm just going to sit quietly.

SPEAKER_05 0:28

Oh, Mr. Lujack. I'm glad you brought him up already. Jeez, what an odd last name to repeat over and over and over again. That was like Lojak. Isn't that that thing that you find your stolen car or something like that?

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Yeah, Lojak was definitely uh same, actually, kind of the same style, I guess. He was rough and tumble like a Lojak, but um very rough and tumble. We'll we'll we'll definitely dive into all stuff, but I would dare say awards in the future, both real and made up, uh, for Mr. Lujack.

SPEAKER_05 1:06

So if there was a best punch, I mean, I would just go ahead and we interrupt this regularly scheduled programming to award Mr. Lujack a special stubby. I mean, but we don't want to promote five.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

Are we just are we just ignoring Pernel Roberts with that?

SPEAKER_05 1:23

Well, maybe we we probably are. We probably are. That's a good point. We are here to talk about the Love Boat season four, episode number seven. Episode titled She Stole His Heart, Return of the Captain's Brother, and Swag and Mag. Hmm. That's a terrible swag and mag. It's a terrible storyline name.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

I have I have recently kind of not on purpose, but just in the course of doing business, have have kind of missed like the second and third storyline titles. Like I see the first one that shows up on IMDb or or Paramount.

SPEAKER_05 2:04

Well, how's it make the first one? Is it the best one? Is the first one? Do you think?

SPEAKER_02 2:07

I don't know. I don't know. It was just the she stole her heart or whatever was the first one this week on both things. So but Swag and Mag I missed until the very end. And I was okay with that.

SPEAKER_05 2:19

Yeah, I was fine with that too. I'm fine with that. That that that's not yeah. Original air day Saturday, December 6th, 1980. What else is on, Mike? And let me just say before we dig into this, Mike, we got a couple new shows to discuss this evening. So I am super excited. CBS at 8 p.m. WKRP in Cincinnati. Episode called A Mile in My Shoes. This is a wild one, Mike. And I guarantee you remember this one because there's no other episode. When Herb is called for jury duty, Andy takes over as sales manager and soon discovers just how tough it is trying to sell advertising time or collect from deadbeat clients. Here's the one. Les plans to disguise himself as a black man so that he can do a series of reports based on the book Black Like Me.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

I do remember that.

SPEAKER_05 3:14

Oh, yeah. Which which time did he do that? Yeah, uh that's a that's a one and done right there.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Yeah, that's a this show doesn't make it. This show doesn't make it to 1980-22. I guess we know why.

SPEAKER_05 3:27

Now we get it. Jeez, soul mad ass.

SPEAKER_02 3:30

No wonder Lonnie Anderson was trying to get out of there. Good lord.

SPEAKER_05 3:32

Help, she had help on her eye eyelids. Awful. CBS 830, the Tim Conway show guest this week, Vicki Lawrence, in what I can only assume is a laugh riot for 30 minutes on the CBS Saturday night lineup.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

I mean, she was funny. She was great. Carl Burnett, you eat it. She was great.

SPEAKER_05 3:57

No, no, no. If I uh the one with the conversation, yeah, she works for Scuttlebutt. No, I think she'd be great. I wonder if she does mama. Guaranteed she does mama, right?

SPEAKER_03 4:05

I mean, that's her I wonder if she does mama.

SPEAKER_05 4:08

Oh god, yeah. What am I talking about? That's like not saying howdy. You know, you're gonna sneak that thing in there.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

That's not playing the horn.

SPEAKER_05 4:16

Right. NBC at 8 p.m. TV special, Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell Sisters. Special guest, Charlie Pride. Who I have fond memories of growing up. There was a lot of Charlie Pride played in my house randomly. No other country music but Charlie Pride.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

It's funny, Mandrell's been on in the in the Chips slot, right?

SPEAKER_04 4:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

And I don't I don't know. I haven't I'm trying to keep Chips Chips' future spoiler-free for me. Yeah, same. I don't know if they're coming back, but I feel like I remember that Barbara Mandrell show being on for a while. So maybe we're maybe we're done with uh all the vehicle competition on on Saturday nights.

SPEAKER_05 5:04

Well, that's an the only thing is with those like variety shows, can you really carry an hour's worth of television with that's a lot of ground to cover. I think 45 minutes essentially.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

And I think like at this point now, since we're so close to Christmas, I do wonder if we really won't have a real answer for all this stuff till January. Because that's a good point.

SPEAKER_05 5:28

It's all I'm gonna get.

SPEAKER_02 5:29

Yeah, yeah, like all those variety shows were strike proof. So sure. You know, so if Chips isn't back by January, um we'll we'll look, but but it's only surprising because they were the top ranked Saturday night show regardless. So it would be interesting if they moved them out on purpose.

SPEAKER_05 5:52

Well, when's the last time we brought up BJ and the Bear? I mean, same thing. We knew that, but like they were gone, but yeah, yeah, same as their whole Saturday night has completely shifted. ABC at 8 p.m. we brought up the show last week, breaking away. The American dream. A fraternity uses a pretty co-ed to lure Mike into playing as a ringer for its football team. Dave Dave decides to audit a college course. This is episode two. Mike, for the first of three times, I'm gonna ask you a question this evening.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 6:33

How many episodes aired of this series?

SPEAKER_02 6:36

I know this only because we did this last the when it first started. I think it's eight. It is eight with one unaired. Yeah, and I think I think we basically have them every week through the eight. Like I think they're on Saturdays.

SPEAKER_05 6:51

Just sounds like such a boring show.

SPEAKER_02 6:53

Just I don't think I saw the movie, but based on what I think it was, I I don't know what they were gonna drag out of this.

SPEAKER_05 7:02

For I don't I don't it wasn't really an exciting movie.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

No, like it was like late 70s, early eighties, a lot of chatting.

SPEAKER_05 7:11

A lot of chatting. They love talking in the 80s.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

A lot of like scenes shot under trees in the autumn.

SPEAKER_05 7:19

Yeah, a lot of a lot of breaks of silence to really make those words sink in. Oh, it's great.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

A lot of sweaters.

SPEAKER_05 7:27

A lot of holding holding cups of coffee with two hands while you drink it, kind of conversations. Get me ugh. Let's talk about a new show here, Mike. The rebuilt CBS lineup has two brand new shows this evening.

SPEAKER_03 7:46

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_05 7:47

First of two, 9 p.m. New show. Nine one hour long. Freebie and the bean. Freebie and the bean. First episode of the series titled The Seduction of the Bean.

SPEAKER_02 8:05

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_05 8:06

Now you know normally I like to give you sort of a synopsis, and then I say, like, with. Mike, you know it's a good show if they explain who the stars of the show are within the synopsis of the episode.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

You mean Freebie and the Bean?

SPEAKER_05 8:22

Like this is how they sold Freebie and the Bean. New comedy starring Hector Elizondo, I'm assuming the Bean, and Tom Mason. Maybe to Mason's the Bean, just to throw anyway, about two streetwise San Francisco cops based on the 1974 film. In the opening episode, Walker and Delgado. Well, that's Hector Elizondo. Yeah, I would hope. Or Walker, just to what? Pursue a building contractor who secures businesses with the help of a seductive sales staff. Mike, for the second time this evening. How many episodes of this series aired?

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Alright, so let's let's do the math here. So it's Saturday night. We know we know CBS is struggling.

SPEAKER_05 9:12

Terribly, struggling terribly.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

The strike. Are we I really hope we're getting some Christmas here in the next couple weeks, but I'd hope for more than freebie and the bean coming out of the strike.

SPEAKER_05 9:21

Just as at least give me a better title.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

I'm gonna say four aired six were made.

SPEAKER_05 9:29

That's a good guess. Nine aired, two unaired.

SPEAKER_02 9:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 9:34

Let's skip back over to NBC at 9 p.m. Movie semi-tough.

unknown 9:40

Ooh.

SPEAKER_05 9:42

Mike, we might have to after we I when I tell you who's in this movie. A three-way friendship between two free-spirited professional football players and the owner's daughter becomes compromised when two of them become romantically involved. And in one name, you're gonna you're gonna be like done. Starring Yes.

SPEAKER_02 10:01

It's Nick Nolte.

SPEAKER_05 10:03

No.

SPEAKER_02 10:04

Oh not what am I thinking?

SPEAKER_05 10:06

That's North Dallas 40. With Bert Convey. Bert Reynolds. Two Berts. Chris Christofferson, Carl Weathers, Big Sheamus himself, Brian Denihy, and Jill Clayburn.

unknown 10:25

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 10:26

Also Jill Claiburn's the owner's daughter.

SPEAKER_05 10:28

Yeah. But I mean I feel like I've seen I've seen one of them, but I don't know which one I've seen. I guess I've seen pieces of this because I kind of remember Chris Christofferson in a football movie, but I just remember him from that uh his his what's that uh with the trucks when they're in the what's that thing when they're in a big group. He played a trucker, the rubber duck. What is it called? The trucks are the big convoy, yeah. He played a guy, a trucker named Rubber Duck, is what I remember him best from.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

So I think I've referenced this. I also re remember him from a Muppet Show episode that he was in with his wife, and then Red and IMDB, they divorced very quickly after that Muppet Show episode.

SPEAKER_05 11:09

Well, I wonder if that was the that was the tipping point right there.

SPEAKER_02 11:12

I mean, it was it was awkward.

SPEAKER_05 11:14

He had an affair with a Muppet or something. One of the chickens. Or one of the chickens. Nice. So that's on from 9 to 11. I'm gonna move on to ABC. I kind of a new rule here. I'm not gonna give an episode description of Fantasy Island until we kind of dig into Fantasy Island and figure out what's going on.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

Which should be soon.

SPEAKER_05 11:39

Should be soon. And again, I was saying I don't want to say much until we discuss the one in the hopper. But I will say, guest stars this week, Donna Michi and Sonny Bono.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

Whoa.

SPEAKER_05 11:52

So Royalty. 10 o'clock, another new show on Sirius. The Secrets of Midland Heights. Episode first episode called Founders Day, debut of a dramatic serial about the lives of several generations of families in a small college town. This is a side note, this is from the makers of Dallas. They were trying to Wow. This was with BB Besch, Jordan Christopher, nope, Linda Hamilton, oh, okay, and Lorenzo Lamas.

SPEAKER_02 12:28

So he had a show in before Lamas.

SPEAKER_05 12:33

In the Hopper, yeah. And he had this thing the week after he was, yeah, the week after the worst episode we've seen all year.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

Oh, we're lousy with Llamas' this month.

SPEAKER_05 12:42

Well, we have a we have a llamas link to this episode, too, including other than this.

SPEAKER_02 12:48

So link because I forgot a a note in my last episode with Allamas, so excited to get that one in.

SPEAKER_05 12:55

For the final time this evening, Mike, how many episodes of this show aired?

SPEAKER_02 13:01

Oh god.

SPEAKER_05 13:02

I'll go back with my four eight aired, three unaired. Interestingly enough, Lorenzo Alamis's father directed like four of the episodes, four of the eight episodes. So I don't know what what kind of deal they had. Ah, yeah, they wanted more Lorenzo. Which I mean, or Mr. Lorenzo's dad. Yeah, Hernando.

SPEAKER_02 13:26

Hernando, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 13:28

That's what else is on. Like, let's let me give you the episode synopsis for this evening's episode. Tell me if you agree with this one or not. Psychiatrist Elliot keeps his distance when a kleptomaniac Mary falls for him.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

I mean, he tried. I guess he tried to keep his distance.

SPEAKER_05 13:48

Kinda, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

I mean, I got a lot of questions about the reasons for that guy's cruise. Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of his magic tape recorder.

SPEAKER_05 14:00

How do you lose that? You know what I mean? Like, how do you anyway? Vicky is disappointed by TV action star Steve Swaggart.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

Bravadaye.

SPEAKER_05 14:08

Bravadaye. Call me swag. Meryl's brother. Swag loves you. Swag loves you. When you see me blow a kiss, no one blowed it for you. Cha-cha, swag. Swag out. Merrill's brother Marshall introduces his fiancee, Natalie. But old Flame Annette wants him wants him back, Marshall, darling. In this week's episode. Let's talk about guest stars, Mike. First guest star this week is Arlene Dahl. First of four episodes. First of four appearances on the Love Boat. Hey, Mike, it's Lorenzo Lamas' mom. It's her oldest child.

SPEAKER_02 14:47

So I meant to ask this when for Lorenzo was on. Was that our first father-son? I know we've had mother-daughter, mother-son.

SPEAKER_05 14:58

Gopher's dad. Remember, Gopher's dad was on.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

They did that whole life. But I think this is definitely the first time we've had a mom, dad, children Lubboat. So congratulations to the Lamas family. What a total. They got him in pretty tight here at the end.

SPEAKER_05 15:15

Yeah. Another fun fact about Arlene Dahl, she was married six times.

SPEAKER_03 15:21

So wow, that's a lot.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

That is a lot. When you go through these IMDBs, especially people where you don't really know them and they're like from the 50s and 60s in terms of heights of career, it is wild. It just seems like divorce must have been so much easier logistically back then. Six marriages and six divorces, like regardless of the emotional investment, it just seems like a lot.

SPEAKER_05 15:47

It just had to be cheaper. There's no way it could have been super expensive if it was six times the Johnny Carson thing. Like, no way. Maybe there's no prenups.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

Right. It's like the Michael Scott I declare bankruptcy out the window. So funny. I am divorced.

SPEAKER_05 16:01

Yeah, divorced. Next on the list is Ron Eli. First of three appearances on the boat. He played Tarzan the Ape Man in the T in the Tarzan TV series from 1966 to 1968. Mike, this guy is a big dude. I know he stands up next to Stubing later, and you can He had the giant dude.

SPEAKER_02 16:25

He had the gravitas of somebody. So when it was Tarzan, I was surprised.

SPEAKER_05 16:30

Yeah, I didn't get Tarzan from his speaking. Did he just not talk? Hey, Jane, you know. You know, don't be mad at me. I have hands and I grip the that whole speech about acting was one of the most ridiculous things.

SPEAKER_02 16:48

I almost went back and wrote the whole thing down. And we'll we'll obviously get to it, but as we get into this run of normal, maybe not great episodes. One similarity that I've noticed is lot of lot of import, a lot of emotional pathos being placed into nonsensical issues.

SPEAKER_05 17:09

Just random buckets of like we'll throw a little extra money. Yeah, this one was a great example of that. Next is Zha. Again, her sister's been on the boat before. And you know what's weird, right? So this is her first and only appearance. It says she was a Hungarian and American socialite and actress. I don't really understand what she's famous for.

SPEAKER_02 17:31

I think she's famous for being famous, right?

SPEAKER_05 17:33

Kinda.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

I mean, except for cameos after she hit that cop. Which I will bring that up. Right. Or Hollywood Squares. I don't think I've ever actually seen her in anything until this. And you know what? She just played herself.

SPEAKER_05 17:48

She did just play herself, just like she did in Fresh Prince of Bel Air after she smacked that guy.

unknown 17:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:54

If you don't know what we're talking about, on June 14th, 1989, Jahabor was accused of slapping a Beverly Hills police officer in the face when she was stopped for a traffic violation.

SPEAKER_02 18:06

On flag day? Come on, Ja Zah.

SPEAKER_05 18:09

Right? Three months later, a jury convicted her of slapping the officer. They also found her guilty of driving without a license and possessing an open container of alcohol, which happened to be a flask of Jack Daniels.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

Come on, Dolly.

SPEAKER_05 18:23

Didn't figure her for a Jack Daniels, figured her for like a peppermint schnapps or something, something Hungarian. So it was found in her $215,000 Rolls-Royce, but acquitted her of the charge of disobeying the officer when she drove away from the traffic stop. Good lord. She was just had a couple of drinks.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

She was I was the episode wasn't good enough for her to be annoying. And they but it was very much a one one note performance, which I guess I expected.

SPEAKER_05 18:59

She greeted him with the same greeting five times. You know what I mean? It was not a lot of they didn't, she didn't she didn't put a hard day's work in on this episode. No.

SPEAKER_02 19:09

No. Stu means that they're playing three guys and she's barely actually.

SPEAKER_05 19:13

She's barely doing one. I mean, this is it's possible. I mean, it could be, you know, she could be in that Norman Award win, you know, an award run.

SPEAKER_02 19:22

Ja ja gaboring. I know.

SPEAKER_05 19:27

And you know what's we uh I'll I'll save it. I'll save it. I don't want to I don't want to give up all my jazz observations yet. Aaron Gray, someone we've talked about several times, wondering if she'll appear on the show. First and only appearance in the Love Boat, boo.

SPEAKER_00 19:43

Really? Really?

SPEAKER_05 19:44

Yeah, that's that's lame. Starred in 37 episodes of Buck Rogers, five seasons, 116 episodes of Silver Spoons, which was one of my favorites as a kid. I love that little train.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

I meant to look it up today, actually.

SPEAKER_05 19:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

Are we in Silver Spoons yet or are we close?

SPEAKER_05 20:03

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

I don't I don't if you're saying it's only five seasons, I think we aren't there yet.

SPEAKER_05 20:08

No, I don't think we're there yet. I think we're late.

SPEAKER_02 20:10

That Alfonso Rivera season is definitely like 84-85, so we gotta well and Jason Bateman would also be on that show as well.

SPEAKER_05 20:18

Remember, he was that like, and then he had a spin-off.

SPEAKER_02 20:21

Yeah. The interesting thing with Aaron Gray was I don't totally remember how her character was in Buck Rogers, but this she was a colonel, she was in charge. Right. And then she kind of, especially in the beginning of Silver Spoons, she was kind of a bit of a like a fussy pot kind of thing.

SPEAKER_05 20:39

Yeah, stick in the mud.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

This weirdly did feel like a template for where she would end up.

SPEAKER_05 20:45

I mean, she's kind of playing the character here. Yeah. She's playing the same, you know, working for Mr. Stratton sort of thing.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

Yeah, and and I mean she was fine. But it was fine. It was definitely like an Erin Gray. It wasn't anything I wasn't like, wow, Erin Gray.

SPEAKER_05 21:00

No, she didn't blow me away, dude.

SPEAKER_02 21:02

It wasn't the blowaway that another female actress on this show gave me.

SPEAKER_05 21:06

So yeah, true. Well, that was a couple really good lines, too. I will say this it's nice to have her on the show, but be careful what you ask for. Do you know when you meet your heroes, you might get a little disappointed because her her appearance wasn't great. I'm just really glad that we had her on the show.

SPEAKER_02 21:22

I'm glad we had her on the show. I'm disappointed she won't be on again. I yeah, this this is a good example to your point of yeah, just I don't want to spill all my stuff, but it's like we've talked about it before, where sometimes a pretty lousy episode can get carried by the fact that you like the people in it.

SPEAKER_05 21:41

That's true. That's a good point.

SPEAKER_02 21:43

There weren't enough of those for me, I guess. Yeah. And then Aaron Gray is Aaron Gray, right? She's not gonna be if it had been more interesting, it would have been more interesting. But it's like she's not she's not gonna be like, oh god, Aaron Gray's in it. This is great, you know.

SPEAKER_05 21:58

Oh, yeah, she's not a reason to watch. Yeah. At all. She's not moving the needle.

SPEAKER_02 22:03

She's a supporting player, you know.

SPEAKER_05 22:05

So I mean, I mean, maybe in a few years it would move the needle.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

If they had carried uh swag out of the fight on the train, that would have been an able.

SPEAKER_05 22:16

With John Houseman. John Housman comes in and gives him a lecture. He takes Rick deer hunting.

SPEAKER_03 22:22

Richard Pizza, the Tarzan man has been knocked unconscious.

SPEAKER_05 22:29

Oh, and he used to do that. Oh God, he used to do this commercial. I can't I can't remember how it went.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

Stuart Oh, Stuart Varney.

SPEAKER_05 22:37

Not Stuart Stuart Varney. That's the guy on the CNN Financial, the English guy. It'll come to me.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

Smith Varney?

SPEAKER_05 22:44

Something like that. It was some company.

SPEAKER_02 22:47

Now we're just giving free advertising.

SPEAKER_05 22:48

Yeah, we're just we can't afford to do that, Mike. We have a platform. We can't just give it away.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

If Gray doesn't come on during Silver Spoons, I feel like we're not gonna get Houseman.

SPEAKER_05 22:58

Oh, I don't think we'll I don't think we'll get Houseman.

SPEAKER_02 23:00

I was hoping. I was hoping we'd get like a Silver Spoons wave.

SPEAKER_05 23:03

I hope we get Rick's dad, whoever that is.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

I'm telling you, he's gonna be on as a bad guy. I'm very I that's my oh yeah, I could see that.

SPEAKER_05 23:10

I could definitely see that.

SPEAKER_02 23:12

Like with a mustache.

SPEAKER_05 23:14

Just so to break character and be like, who's that? I don't even recognize. Yeah, I like that. Stephen Keat Mills, first and only appearance in the Love Boat, starred as Les Kincaid for both seasons of the Alice spin-off flow. Oh yeah, I slim pickens for Stephen Keat Mills.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

I could kiss my grits.

SPEAKER_05 23:36

He could kiss my grits, too. I blame.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

He was awful.

SPEAKER_05 23:40

Yeah, it was not good. He was not good. Welcome back, Joan Van Arc. Not awful.

SPEAKER_03 23:46

Not awful.

SPEAKER_05 23:47

Not awful. Second of her four appearances. We saw her last in a legendary episode. Season three is Chris Haley in episode number eight in What's a Brother Four? Lovebook project number 58, every Witchcraft But Loose. Famous because this is the episode Matt almost drowns in a hot tub.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

She's very she's very aggressive with Matt's handicap and his, you know, guilt tripping everybody. I think she got a nomination for I will say this. I think she was yeah. I knew Joan, I knew June Joan Van Work was in it, and as I'm kind of first watching it, you know, it's it's the first couple scenes. You're you're kind of like warming up or whatever, and I wasn't quite paying attention. Just had it on, you know. And I was like, God, this who's this, who's this cowpoke that they got? I could say that was Joan Van Arc. Like, my god, like we always talk about like the swings, right? Like the Richard Mulligan. We talked about it with uh Wheezy last week, but she's kind of confined to with her voice, right? But this is a this is an this was like a Pat Harrington character. This was this was acting, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 25:03

I yeah, we have that award where like another appearance in this season sort of outshine.

unknown 25:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 25:11

I I thought she was a stubby nominee the first time, but I really thought she was wonderful in this episode.

SPEAKER_02 25:16

And I mean that that is the kind of thing where there's nothing there, right? It's a ridiculous one.

SPEAKER_05 25:22

No, it's completely ridiculous. She owned it.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

It's just the fact that like I couldn't believe it was her. Yeah, it was just like that was that was a shining star, except for Lou Jack. She was the best part in this episode, probably.

SPEAKER_05 25:36

She really was. I thought she was fantastic. Well, we haven't gotten to two guest stars. The last two this week, a returning guest, OD Warbucks, second and final, maybe, appearance on the Love Boat. Maybe. I don't know. We saw him last year, uh Love Boat Project 69 once more onto the security beach breach with Jonas Beals. Maybe we'll see him again. I didn't know we were gonna see him again this season.

SPEAKER_02 26:04

I went back and listened to that episode for context. Yeah, while I will drop in what we thought about it. That is an excellent episode, I will say. That is weird, that was a very good episode. We enjoyed it, that was a fun episode. I will say I was stunned that it was only late January, early February, and they already brought it back. It was too soon. It was too soon. Yeah, I agree. I agree. I have solves for it, but it was too soon.

SPEAKER_05 26:36

I agree, I agree. I liked it, but I would have liked it more a year from now or six months from now. Final guest star this week, the mysterious Sonny Wilder. First and only question mark appearance on the love boat? No idea if we'll ever see Sonny Wilder again on the Love Boat. My go right ahead.

SPEAKER_02 27:06

I think here's what I'll just say. I think I would have rather Sonny Wilder been the main focus.

SPEAKER_05 27:17

I think the same thing, just something different.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

Something different, and also I think all the stuff we loved about Marshall got neutered a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 27:32

Oh, they pulled back on his character big time.

SPEAKER_02 27:35

And I didn't need the character development for Gab McLeod playing the second guy, right? I just want to see Gavin McLeod going crazy up on the up on the bridge with a scene, and you know. It almost it almost felt like somebody dropped out of a boring scene.

SPEAKER_05 27:59

They're like, well, last minute. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:01

Doug Henning can't be in here this week, so they replaced him with the lol, the lol of diminishing returns, I feel like, maybe applied here a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 28:10

So I I completely agree. Yeah, I and we'll dig into it. It was just interesting. Alright, so that's the synopsis. Guest stars, what else is on? Anything to go over before we hop on the boat.

SPEAKER_02 28:26

I will posit that this is by far the worst Kearnsing in the history of the show.

SPEAKER_05 28:36

Tell me more.

SPEAKER_02 28:38

Joe Lujack was in so many scenes. Yeah. Yeah. Was basically the co-star of the swag plot, was amazing.

SPEAKER_05 28:49

Had a lot of speak, had a lot of lines to it, was and active. He was active.

SPEAKER_02 28:53

He had three or four scenes where it was just him and Tarzan. Like it was. I went back like twice to make sure with all the stooping characters at the end that I didn't miss him somewhere or whatever. So I would say even Joanna Kearns, who the award is named, who the term is named after. Like this, trust me, if if we didn't have plot curns already baked in, there we would just start calling this thing loo jack and lujacked.

SPEAKER_05 29:17

You got loo jacked. I mean, it's not it's catchy. Boy, it's catchy. I don't know. I don't know. We'll have to sort of vote out.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

The amount of loo jack merch that I'm gonna be selling in the store in the merch store.

SPEAKER_05 29:30

You can just have a plain black t-shirt or black white t-shirt, just black, hashtag loo jack.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

I mean I went through everything I owned to try and find something with an L.

SPEAKER_05 29:40

I don't own anything with an L.

SPEAKER_02 29:42

Like I was.

SPEAKER_05 29:43

Yeah, all my baseball hats have a P on them. Like, damn it, not that one. Damn it, not that one.

SPEAKER_02 29:47

I looked at like some old hats. I'm like, no, so I went with this hat that has a Liberty bell, which is good.

SPEAKER_05 29:52

I like the alliteration.

SPEAKER_02 29:54

Just like swags jaws.

SPEAKER_05 29:56

New York Liberty. I should have worn my New York Liberty jersey. You know what I mean? Something. I don't know. Los Angeles, Los L L L.

SPEAKER_02 30:02

Joe Lujack, even though I can't quite remember your name, I think it's Bill something. Yeah, your name's Lu Jack, sir. Yes, it's it's Joe Lujack at all. It's Joe Lujack. And I think it might be Joe Lujack at the Stubbies. So well.

SPEAKER_05 30:15

Oh, it's not. We're gonna. The legend of Lujack has to carry on. We have to do it for him. I mean, he got screwed once.

SPEAKER_02 30:22

He did. He'll not get screwed again. He will. I I cannot imagine a world where in the final 18 episodes of our season, we have five better villains that Joe Lujack doesn't at least get knowledge at.

SPEAKER_05 30:36

So great villain. Great villain. Wasn't wasn't afraid to get physical either. Love him. Just great bully.

SPEAKER_03 30:43

And shout out to his sidekick, too.

SPEAKER_05 30:45

Oh, his sidekick was funny. Yeah. They were great. Very weird. Yeah, his buddy did not match. They I was like, I don't believe these guys ever hung out. Like, there's no way.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

His buddy was like tin roof rusted.

SPEAKER_05 30:59

He really was. He really, really was. He was Paul Lind, basically. It was wild. Lou Jack and Blind. It's the comedy comedy styling.

SPEAKER_03 31:08

Lujak and the beam.

SPEAKER_05 31:10

Oh, oh, poor Hector Elizondo. All right, let's get on the boats. Like, we begin at night. We haven't had a lot of these. Don't really know the reason why we're beginning at night, but we're beginning at night this week.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

I mean, they never mention a stop. Ever. Right? They don't even the fact that Marshall gets married on the boat. Come on, man.

SPEAKER_05 31:32

You don't even have to leave port. And I have a couple questions about that too. I took some issues with that. Doc's looking over the rail, and Stubing walks up, tells him he's excited because his little brother Marshall's gif finally getting married. Doc reminds him last time he brought a woman aboard he was supposed to marry, and that didn't work out. Stubing says it's different this time, Mike. He's different this time.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

So do you think that was referring to Diane Ladd?

SPEAKER_05 31:59

Had to be, right? Had to be. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 32:01

He didn't bring her on the ship to get married. He found her on the ship to get married. He met her. Like a third person.

SPEAKER_05 32:07

Yeah. He goes on to tell Doc that she inherited a fortune from a silver mine. Two-part question, Mike. Is that what the seven dwarfs were mining? Second part of the question is Marshall Stubbing marrying Snow White.

SPEAKER_04 32:22

I thought he she had a silver built Burl mine, all the classics.

SPEAKER_05 32:35

Silver mine?

SPEAKER_02 32:37

It was a weirdly vague. And we've talked about the prices of gold going up. I mean, Tom Hanks is lousy with gold, but how do you get how do you go broke on silver mines?

SPEAKER_05 32:48

I just think especially with all the wares that they are reluctant on silver for.

SPEAKER_02 32:53

Jimmy Eat with Mike's America only a few more weeks.

SPEAKER_05 32:57

If you take the silver out of ware, what are you gonna eat with? You see what I'm doing there? Doc says that sounds like a real thing to him. Stubbing sees Marshall and walks over to greet him. Mike, the magic of split screen is back. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 33:12

A little better.

SPEAKER_05 33:14

It was a little better.

SPEAKER_02 33:15

Not a lot, but a little.

SPEAKER_05 33:17

Towards the end, it got a little shaky in that end scene.

SPEAKER_03 33:20

Like three people in there.

SPEAKER_05 33:22

When the captain's table was shady, like it was the widest table I've ever seen. Marshall introduces Natalie Martin Stubing, his bride to B. Stobing says he can't believe that Marshall's settling down. And Marshall says that he is a changed man. I guess we'll see, Mike. I guess we'll see. Marshall says he hasn't even looked at another woman since he met Natalie. We see in the background a woman enter with a leopard headscarf and wearing a fancy medallion.

SPEAKER_03 33:53

I thought it was I thought it was the prince.

SPEAKER_05 33:56

I thought it was Madam.

SPEAKER_03 33:57

I thought it was at Harrington.

SPEAKER_05 34:00

He's gonna come up in a few minutes, by the way. Marshall darling, she says. She walks up to Marshall and says, Is that such a put on, too? I can't imagine.

SPEAKER_02 34:12

Like you don't think that's her real voice.

SPEAKER_05 34:14

Oh it was just exhausting if that's her real voice.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

I don't think when she hit that cop that she was like she wasn't calling darling.

SPEAKER_05 34:21

I bet she's got like a jersey accent, like a Camden accent. She's so Ja Ja. Her name is they call her Mom. She's not Ja Ja. She's playing a part. Anyway. She walks up to Marshall and says, I knew we'd meet again. Mike, Marshall really has a type here. Much older, right? You would imagine. How old do you think Ja Ja is in comparison to Gavin? And what's the age difference here? I mean, forget the Natalie, but just the Ja Ja difference. You think she's in her fifties? Really?

SPEAKER_02 34:56

I don't know. She always looked like that. I don't really know.

SPEAKER_05 35:00

She always has like white hair, but I don't know if like it's not blonde, it's white.

SPEAKER_02 35:04

His his type is rich, though, to be fair. I mean, you know.

SPEAKER_05 35:09

And older, right? But I guess you're not gonna have a young rich woman, right?

SPEAKER_02 35:12

More than likely, no. If you could match the dream, Mike.

SPEAKER_05 35:15

So it's the dream, Mike. That's a good point. That's what gets me up every morning, that dream. Yeah. She doesn't listen to the show. It's okay. I can say whatever. Marshall starts to introduce this woman as Annette, but she interrupts him. She says, later, and you will have a wonderful trip this time. She calls him darling and starts touching Marshall's neck. By the way, Natalie has got the line of the week coming up, everybody. I just want you to know there's a line that Natalie had a couple.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

She had a couple good ones.

SPEAKER_05 35:51

Oh. Natalie's not having this. She removes Annette's hand from Marshall's neck. She tells Annette that she and Marshall have to go to their cabin for a prenuptial trick chat. Natalie leads Marshall to their cabin. Cardboard cutout time. It says in person, Dale Bruder. TV Steve Swaggart Private Eye. Now's a good time to bring this up. You know, we we talked about the celebrities on the boat, like the access to. We've never seen a celebrity draw a crowd this big of autograph seekers. It's normally five photographers in the beginning of the cruise.

SPEAKER_02 36:34

It's a real Mona Maxwell autograph thing. It is. I will say, because of the fact that this was a planned event that maybe it's a weak event.

SPEAKER_05 36:46

It's a real weak event.

SPEAKER_02 36:47

Not the conversation we're having. Yeah. Oh, it's a it's a planned event, and so maybe all the swagheads are there.

SPEAKER_05 36:55

Did you say I'm sorry? Did you say swagheads?

SPEAKER_02 36:58

Swagheads, yeah. Swag heads. All right. That's what you're not? Swagheads?

SPEAKER_05 37:02

I am. I didn't know what to call myself, and now it's good.

SPEAKER_02 37:05

I tell you, for a minute there, I really thought that he was just referring to himself as Steve Swaggart the whole time.

SPEAKER_05 37:14

Oh. Give it a minute, and you'll see the confusion that sets in on my notes because the same thing happened to me.

SPEAKER_02 37:20

What night and network are is Steve Swaggart private eye on?

SPEAKER_05 37:25

NBC. This is an NBC. It's a hunter type show. I say I say it's a good Tuesday at nine, you know? So it's Vicky.

SPEAKER_02 37:34

Shouldn't Vicky be in bed?

SPEAKER_05 37:36

I don't know. Well, she's not record. Oh, this is before that.

SPEAKER_02 37:40

I also don't like the fact that Vicky this week is too dumb to realize how TV works. So it's a thing.

SPEAKER_05 37:47

Yeah, they really they she's having a hard time like finding her level.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

It's fine if they just leave her as comedy foil, but when they're trying to like do that, that was that was insulting.

SPEAKER_05 37:58

I think it would almost it would have been better if Gopher was the geek for the show.

unknown 38:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 38:03

If maybe if if swag was older.

SPEAKER_02 38:06

Yeah, I just like scene at the end where it's like like in Home Alone when Macaulay Calkin's like, listen, I get it how it works, right? To the Santa. It's like at least one of those. Like, don't make Vicky. Vicky's smart. She's been in a blood cult. She knows the score.

SPEAKER_05 38:24

Well, and the other thing too is I can't imagine like a 12-year-old girl's gonna watch a show that's not that much different than Spencer for hire. You know, she's like, Oh, Hawk was on last week. She's not watching this show. Come on.

SPEAKER_02 38:38

She has zero parental supervision.

SPEAKER_05 38:41

That's true. That's true. Yeah. Well, and I just wonder TV reception. I guess she's still getting all the networks, but I don't know how often.

SPEAKER_02 38:52

That's a good point. That does lend to your Tuesday thing. That it maybe it's when they're in port.

SPEAKER_05 38:56

Something, you know.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

But she probably missed them when she was in Panama.

SPEAKER_05 39:00

Like oh, for months. She had so much to catch up. She was just ho she loved the strike. Come on, strike. I need to catch up.

SPEAKER_01 39:09

That is true.

SPEAKER_05 39:12

A man with his back to the camera comments how handsome the man in the cardboard cardboard cutout is to a lady standing near him. He comments that the photographer told him he'd make him look tough. The woman replies by saying, You said he was a photographer, not a magician. Good one. Good one, Don Knotts. The man. For my purposes, we're gonna be referring to him as Swag.

SPEAKER_02 39:40

Not Darryl Brewster.

SPEAKER_05 39:41

Yeah, I'm not doing yeah, I don't Steve Swaggart. Steve Swag.

SPEAKER_02 39:46

Well known fact, Darryl Brewster, long lost cousin of former guest Amin Brewster.

SPEAKER_05 39:52

Really? Really? Interesting. Interesting. Did he play Steve Swaggart Private Eye at any point? Is there no?

SPEAKER_02 40:00

Don't urge him having swag. No, we don't need that. We're gonna need to feed that monster.

SPEAKER_05 40:05

No, you're right. That's a different podcast. Feeding the monster, aka swag. Swag turns, starts signing autographs. And a Vicky, she sees the crowd gathering in front of Swag. She nudges Isaac and says, It's him. Steve Swagger, private eye. He's the greatest. Isaac Isaac tells her to relax. He's just an actor. Boy, we could have saved a lot of time if everyone just listened to Isaac right here. And storyline.

SPEAKER_02 40:35

Not even as good an actor as I am, Ted Lang.

SPEAKER_05 40:38

Right. Oh. Vicky says all the cruise ships voted him hero of the year. And that's why he's here to get the award.

SPEAKER_02 40:47

All right. So what, Mike? So by so my guess is there's like an all-star ballot kind of thing that they have on cruise ships. Maybe there's just something in your room, right?

SPEAKER_05 41:00

What are the categories? That's a weird ass category. TV hero?

SPEAKER_02 41:03

Yeah, well, it's probably like what's available. But yeah, I would love to have seen this be a runner throughout the throughout the series.

SPEAKER_05 41:11

I would love to see a ballot. Who else is on the ballot?

SPEAKER_02 41:15

In 1980?

SPEAKER_05 41:16

1980. I mean Steve Swagger Private Eye. Estrada.

SPEAKER_02 41:23

The US Men's Olympic hockey team.

SPEAKER_05 41:25

BJ, if it was 79.

SPEAKER_02 41:28

Who else was in 80? The Chiz Holmes.

SPEAKER_05 41:30

Al Michaels is probably in there for something. The Chiz Holmes Centennial.

SPEAKER_02 41:35

Yeah, and uh Julie McCoy for rebounding from a tough Alaska trip.

SPEAKER_05 41:41

Always bringing that Alaska trip up, too. Poor Julie. Isaac says personally I voted for Miss Piggy.

SPEAKER_02 41:47

There you go.

SPEAKER_05 41:48

Alright. And remember, Vicky had a poster of Miss Piggy in her root in her cabin.

SPEAKER_02 41:53

Oh, is he? Are we gonna get a Miss Piggy appearance here?

SPEAKER_05 41:56

Easter egg. Oh, please let the Muppets. Oh. I would love to see Stubig in Muppet form.

SPEAKER_02 42:04

There is apparently a love boat Muppet sketch or Sesame Street or something. There is some puppet love boat thing in the mid-80s. I have not find it. So we'll find it.

SPEAKER_05 42:17

Well, we're only in 80. We're gonna get to it. We'll find it. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 42:21

I'm watching a lot of Sesame Street, so maybe it'll pop up one day.

SPEAKER_05 42:25

I get it. Julian Gopher, welcome aboard Miss Huggins. Speaking of accents, Mike. Apparently, Miss Huggins has never been on a cruise before, and she's from Oklahoma City. Gopher says Oklahoma City is, quote, mighty pretty in his best southern accent. Mike, I just from an academic point of view, I just want to point something out. They do not have the correct accent. For at this whole episode, the accent is wrong. Let me tell you about the Oklahoma accent. Okay, the Oklahoma accent is defined. What?

SPEAKER_02 43:00

How often have you been in Oklahoma?

SPEAKER_05 43:03

So many times. You don't know how many times this has come up. Especially since since the Sooners joined the SEC. It's a lot. So the Oklahoma accent's very specific, defined as a unique blend of Southern Drawl and Midwestern twang. Let me give you some examples. They drop the G from the ing words. Raining. Swimming. And they also shift them. Yeah, yeah. Well, here's the weird one, though, is that they also have specific vowel shifts from Midwestern twang, like Warsh. So it's a mix of like a Midwestern and a Southern accent. So this old mighty pretty and darling crap. They listen, this is not Daniel Day Lewis would have done a much better job given a true accent performance here. Thank you, Joan Van Arc, but you used the wrong accent throughout.

SPEAKER_02 43:55

I thought it was interesting that she was from Oklahoma City and Diane Ladd. Was from Oklahoma when Marshall Stubing was seducing her.

SPEAKER_05 44:07

That's a good point. That's a good point.

SPEAKER_02 44:09

Stubing picked out her Oklahoma accent. So maybe he knew about the he oh he knew. Yeah, maybe he had uh he had the Wikipedia that you did, Berman's big book of accent.

SPEAKER_05 44:23

This is not the first time we've had we've had to take issue with an accent, if I remember correctly.

SPEAKER_00 44:29

So no, this is a lot less egregious than someone.

SPEAKER_05 44:32

Yeah, well, this is a lot, yeah, this is a little better. I mean, Lonnie Anderson. Let's just, you know.

SPEAKER_02 44:37

Oh, you mean uh the British lady?

SPEAKER_05 44:39

Oh, Lonnie who Julie introduces Gopher to Miss Huggins. Miss Huggins turns turns around and walked to her cabin and walks right into another passenger. He asks if she's okay. She's looking at him the same way that Julie looked at Garrett when he asked her to dinner. Just lost in the sauce, Mike. She says, I'm fine, just fine, and walks away. Passenger she ran into walks towards Julian Gopher, and he's padding himself like he's looking for something. He says his name is Dr. Elliot Parker, but he can't find his ticket. Since when have you ever had to show a ticket on this on this boat?

SPEAKER_02 45:16

Again, maybe he just assumed you would have to show a ticket on this.

SPEAKER_05 45:20

Put that away. That's for you. That's for your you know, a hope chest or something. I don't even know why you would even ask for it.

SPEAKER_02 45:30

We've seen like two tickets.

SPEAKER_05 45:32

Maybe.

SPEAKER_02 45:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 45:33

But that was weird. Camera cuts. Miss Huggins cuts to Miss Huggins. She looks down to some paperwork, and maybe she has it looks like she has a wallet in her hand.

unknown 45:45

Yep.

SPEAKER_05 45:45

She says, Why did I do that out loud? Insert laugh track. Weird spot for a laugh track until we knew what was going on.

SPEAKER_02 45:53

I mean, still kind of a weird spot for a laugh track. Yeah. It's like, what? Let's let's everybody let's face out a little bit. Yeah. You know, like people, when someone's in front of you, you don't automatically know how they're gonna go, so you don't get right back on him. Like I Joan Van Art in here. I'm glad she took that guy's wallet.

SPEAKER_05 46:15

Yeah, knowing what we know about how lame that guy is, yeah. So take his wallet, take his keep the recorder, and you know what? Keep the watch. We'll talk about that watch later, how dangerous that watch ended up. Like this guy sucks. He got so much romaine in his teeth. We'll talk about romaine later. And we're back to to swag. He's still surrounded by picture takers and autograph seekers. Mike, have we ever seen this big of a crowd gathered around any other guest?

SPEAKER_02 46:44

Not a second scene's worth of that.

SPEAKER_05 46:46

No, it's usually not even Deacon Dark, right?

SPEAKER_02 46:49

I mean no, I mean, because again, it always comes and goes, they don't make it to the second level. Like we always joked about it, but like the Mona Maxwell one where she gets hounded, they all go up the steps, and then that's it. She's just that's it.

SPEAKER_05 47:04

That's it. Goodbye. She's the most famous woman in the world, followed by nobody. Yeah, it's uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:10

Even Don Knott's got one person following him.

SPEAKER_05 47:13

He did all the woman with Steve Swaggart tells him the crowd tells the crowd that's enough, and the crowd disperses. Vicky drags Isaac over to meet Swag. Isaac welcomes him aboard, he introduces Vicky, says she's a big fan. Vicky says hello. He tells her to call him Swag, so I'm gonna call him Swag. Introduces Maggie Cook, his agent. Isaac's Isaac says his agent, really? She says it's better than being Maggie's agent, his cook.

SPEAKER_02 47:44

Oh so like did they ever really make it clear until the end that they were dating?

SPEAKER_05 47:54

No, no, and not at this no.

SPEAKER_02 47:57

Right?

SPEAKER_05 47:57

Like what it's weird too, because I don't think anything happened to make her want to date him in light of everything we know now. Like what? You're his agent.

SPEAKER_02 48:08

It's just a love boat thing, but then he kept making these references. Like, that's clearly why he challenged Loujack, but like she I don't know, it was poorly written.

SPEAKER_05 48:17

It's weird.

SPEAKER_02 48:18

It was poorly written. I guess they were too busy writing that speech.

SPEAKER_05 48:20

Well, she's not very professional, I'll say that.

SPEAKER_02 48:23

Well, she she upgraded 40%.

SPEAKER_05 48:26

Well, she did upgrade 40%. That's a good point. Two gentlemen board the boat and see swag. They see him sign an autograph and say that he's a Hollywood phony. Lou Jack says that, and he'd like to see swag in a real fight. Lou Jack's friend tells the other to let it go. Blue Jack says he came on the cruise to have fun and he walks towards swag. Walks up behind him and yells boo. Then laughs and says, Did you see him jump? and walks away laughing. Boy, swag's a real swag's like a real searching for the appropriate word.

SPEAKER_02 49:00

Paper tiger.

SPEAKER_05 49:02

Paper tiger is the nicest word, wasn't the one I was thinking of? But yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:05

I mean swag.

SPEAKER_05 49:06

Scared of his own shadow.

SPEAKER_02 49:07

Swag also has some pretty poor peripheral vision. Like Lujak came around the corner here, but he was kind of right there. Like, you don't feel somebody on your back, swag? Come on.

SPEAKER_05 49:17

Swag's the tallest guy in the ship, and you don't see someone walking up to you. Come on, buddy.

SPEAKER_02 49:22

Lujack immediately is is a 100% Schneider character.

SPEAKER_01 49:28

Like, oh yeah. Like he is so like, let me tell you something. I'm gonna beat this guy up.

SPEAKER_05 49:35

He's that guy, like all you need in life is just a container of coffee at the job site. You know what I mean? He's a blue collar.

SPEAKER_02 49:42

He has had lunch on a beam.

SPEAKER_05 49:44

Oh he doesn't believe in safety precautions. I mean, look at this guy. He's he's great, he's he's built like a concrete nail.

SPEAKER_02 49:53

He was just the perfect level of cartoon, but even the voice, the voice was perfect. And I think the fact you know what it was, he was like a bad guy wrestler, but he's fighting a guy like a face that you don't like. Like I didn't like Steve Swaggart at any point. No, I mean I was rooting for Lujak the whole time.

SPEAKER_05 50:12

So yeah, I kind of was too. He should have Luja's no jobber, Mike. Let's just say that. We know he's no jobber. Yeah, a thousand percent. Vicky asks Swag if he's gonna let that guy get away with that. He's gonna get that from saying boo. Vicky's already got weird expectations. Swag tells Vicky that sticks and stones may break my boat. Well, you know how that ends. You know how that that staying that saying ends. Oof. We get a brief ticker tape scene without Jerry Stiller again, and we are off. I miss that scene so bad. I wish just they'd throw it in. It was around for a while, too. Marshall's in his cabin with Natalie. He's explained that he and Annette were just old friends. Marshall starts laying the smooch. She asked if she asked Marshall if he'd still love her if she didn't have 20 million dollars. Boy, 20 million back then. Good lord, man. That's yeah. That's some serious. I mean, not that it's anything to sneeze at now, but that's a lot of cash. Marshall said he that he's hurt. She'd even ask and tells her that he'd love her even if she only had $10 million. Cute laugh track. She said something's been going on. She didn't know how to say it. Marshall's basically like, don't keep secrets, tell me. Natalie explained that's her business and she's wiped out. Uh-oh. Uh-oh, Mike. This isn't gonna go well. Marshall tells her that she won't get away from him that easily. Gives her a smooch. Natalie says, let's celebrate. What are we celebrating here, Mike?

SPEAKER_02 51:50

How are you celebrating? You have no. Yeah, with what?

SPEAKER_05 51:52

With water? With any kind of anything on the house? Like what? I mean, I mean it don't forget Isaac gave two martinis to Marshall, too. So it's not like he had he didn't get the 50 from Merrill like he did last time.

SPEAKER_02 52:05

Not that we know of.

SPEAKER_05 52:06

Marshall says, marriage vows safe for richer for poor, not wiped out.

SPEAKER_02 52:11

He said that to the himself, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was she had to be like still in the room, like when he said that.

SPEAKER_05 52:19

Do you often talk to yourself like that? What? I'm looking at the camera. Yeah. I think Natalie hears what she wants to hear, too. You know what I mean? I think she sort of redeems herself. She becomes more of like a three-dimensional character as as the episode progresses. But at this point, I'm thinking she's just another rich, you know.

SPEAKER_02 52:39

I would have liked it if they had given her a little more edge because she wasn't naive to any of what was going through. Oh, but they didn't sharpen it up enough. So it just kind of became this weird, like she got that one.

SPEAKER_05 52:53

She got that one great line. But you're right, is I wish it had been more consistent. I wish it hadn't been a one out of all her lines with this zing.

SPEAKER_02 53:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 53:03

When all of them she should have been that salty throughout if she was salty.

SPEAKER_02 53:07

No, she should have been. She should have been flow.

SPEAKER_05 53:09

She should have been flow.

SPEAKER_02 53:11

Keep that doctor over on flow and bring Polly Holiday over.

SPEAKER_05 53:14

Yeah, leave that guy over there, and it's tell Stubin to kiss your grit. That's right. He would do it too. I love grits with salt and butter or sugar. Gee, he's a sugar grits guy. Guarantee he's a sugar grits guy. I have another order of dessert grits, please. Captain's table issues to come. Sneak peek.

SPEAKER_02 53:37

My honeymoon, I think I had grits every meal because I was in the south, so possibly.

SPEAKER_05 53:42

I love that. I like that. Give me some salt and butter on grits as far as a breakfast y thing. Give me shrimp and grits.

SPEAKER_02 53:49

Grits is definitely a Mason Dixon line thing for me. Yeah. You know, it's like not having a lot of north grits. Sorry, everybody.

SPEAKER_05 53:56

So and it's funny is when I am down south visiting people, whatever, I always get it.

unknown 54:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 54:02

Because it is that nostalgia thing, but I would never even think it would never even cross my mind once once once I drive past that old Mason Dixon in Maryland.

SPEAKER_02 54:12

I'm not even a Win Dixie.

SPEAKER_05 54:14

Yeah, I don't. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Piggly Wiggly, same, same. Same, same.

SPEAKER_02 54:20

Sorry. I'm past the Raleigh, no worries.

SPEAKER_05 54:23

And if I see a Captain D's, I'm stopping. There's a Captain D's. That's another podcast.

SPEAKER_03 54:28

That's we are really fast food to our Bible Belt listener.

SPEAKER_05 54:33

I'm telling you, it's those Apple V iTunes charts where we're gonna be ringing that thing up. Dr. Parker's cabin door is open, which I thought was weird. Who leaves their just their cabin door open?

SPEAKER_02 54:44

Well, especially because he's working, and this is my question. Why is he on this trip? He is working, like really working. And like as a psychiatrist, you probably work on your own. There was no reason that he should have been on this cruise.

SPEAKER_05 54:59

Oh, just to catch up on admin work? Is that what he's doing?

SPEAKER_02 55:02

Basically, I'm adding notes and updating medical records on my heat doesn't have an office, and so he's constantly just working on various cruises and buses.

SPEAKER_05 55:12

Yeah, when do you update all your records? Oh, when I when I travel to the Mexican Riviera. What? Why why you and you bring all this stuff with you? Because everything was paper.

SPEAKER_02 55:21

Like what moonlight and paperwork.

SPEAKER_05 55:24

Just yeah, all my suitcases are documents, lab results, and yeah, it was weird.

SPEAKER_02 55:29

I don't had a good old-fashioned why are they on this boat in a while, but that is definitely a why are you on that boat. They could have great questions. They could have at least done, like, oh, there's a psychiatrist convention or something.

SPEAKER_05 55:42

Yeah, yeah, something. Oh, if I'm finally taking a vacation after all this time, and they make them as a workaholic. You could do so many things.

SPEAKER_04 55:49

Exactly.

unknown 55:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 55:50

Throw them in there and give and he starts working. And by that, that tape recorder bit that we'll get to later, so weak. So weak.

SPEAKER_02 55:57

And there is a it's a magic tape recorder, apparently.

SPEAKER_05 56:00

Apparently, apparently, things disappear and come back and rewind buttons don't work. Yeah. Yeah. Good. I'm glad we're on the same page. Yeah, cabin door's open. Mary Sue Huggins walks in, asks him if he remembers her from bumping into him earlier. Still weird to have that thing open. Like if you go to a hotel, you don't just leave your door open. I mean, I think weighted to close. Oh, I don't let any of air in. Like, I don't, yeah, no, no, no. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Do not disturb click ever. Click.

SPEAKER_03 56:36

And this is why. This is exactly why.

SPEAKER_05 56:38

I don't want I don't want Mary Sue Huggins coming in and stealing my watch or wallet or fountain pen. She admires his cabin, says it's cute and cozy and masculine. You know, he didn't decorate this cabin. This is this isn't a Prince Schneider type situation here.

SPEAKER_02 56:54

It's also very small. They only really show the doorway.

SPEAKER_05 56:58

And I want to be like when you say this this cabin is masculine, can you can you give me an example, please? Mary, Mary Sue, Oklahoma City.

SPEAKER_02 57:07

This crap works in OKC.

SPEAKER_05 57:10

Oh apparently anything works in OKC with her. I mean, just you just have to have a possession for her to steal.

SPEAKER_02 57:16

She's still A. Gildus Alexander.

SPEAKER_05 57:19

Oh. Where's the button? Damn it. He introduces himself. She notices his luggage and says how nice it is. Better bolt that to the floor, Mike. She walks up for a closer look and she drops his wallet that she stole from him earlier. She walks to the door of the cabin and asks him, What's on the floor next to your luggage? And he's shocked to see that his wallet that was not there at all is suddenly there in a spot and she's okay.

SPEAKER_02 57:50

It's like that uh lousy Sonny Bono episode where they found the cash in the envelope, and it was like, Oh, maybe it's just been here.

SPEAKER_05 57:58

Yeah, just let's just suspend all right.

SPEAKER_02 58:02

Why wouldn't you exist if if you want to actually see I found it?

SPEAKER_05 58:08

I found this. I found the lobby.

SPEAKER_02 58:10

Maybe when we bumped into each other, I found it like that kind of thing, you know.

SPEAKER_05 58:12

Well, because she's a thief, Mike, not a liar. She's from Oklahoma City, salt of the earth, man. They're not gonna right. That's why they have Midwestern accents. They say Warsh, Mike. Come on.

SPEAKER_02 58:24

I'm just glad this show finally took the time to explore all the serious ramifications of puppy mania. A disease that can be cured in 45 minutes.

SPEAKER_05 58:33

If that, if that. All you need is a tape recorder. That's all you need and a pocket full of stuff. And a big lost and found section. Whew, and that wraps up that storyline.

SPEAKER_02 58:46

I wish.

SPEAKER_05 58:47

Yeah, right. I tell him that uh tells him that it's nice to see him again, shakes his hand and gives him a little crazy eye before she leaves the cabin. As soon as she walks out of the cabin, she looks down and realizes that she stole his watch. Laugh track again. Oh no, I did it again. I was just gonna say that. Marshall's having a drink in the pirates cover. Annette walks in. Marshall, darling, here you are. She did everything, always sits down next. I've been going around my house, giving everyone the darling thing for two weeks.

SPEAKER_01 59:26

I've been doing loot jack all week.

SPEAKER_05 59:28

Oh well, keep in mind, I'm just coming back off vacation for so for a week at the beach, I was doing a lot of Zhajak greetings. Got a lot of weird looks. Oh god, mailman darling, pizza delivery boy darling. Everything was darling. It was great. Marshall tells her that he's getting married in two days, and that from now on he's a one-woman man. She says, You a one woman man? Marshall says, Well, maybe a woman and a half, a woman and three quarters tops. Tells her he'd better go before he loses count. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:07

I can't tell how much of my kind of ambivalence towards Marshall Stubing this time was the actual writing or the plot, or just that the newness and the excitement of Gavin McLeod doing it the first time. But there just isn't that level of energy.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:25

It's not the same character, I don't think.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:27

It's really not, and it's just almost like kind of a ramped up Stubing as opposed to like I was very aware that it was Gavin McLeod this time. Oh god, yeah. Last time where I almost lost myself in the role. Like so.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:41

And maybe that's partially due to what we talked about earlier. Is that it's it's a quick turnaround to have Marshall Stubing back.

unknown 1:00:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:50

And but it's close enough where we remember how much better he was in the first episode. You put this in season six, and we might not remember.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:58

Exactly, exactly. And it's kind of like they have not ever really landed a recurring role.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:07

Like there April, April Lopez, maybe, but it got worse, right? Honest Tex.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:14

I mean, Donnie Most was probably the best, like honestly, but like we're talking about Donnie Most or Don Most.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:21

We know the difference.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:22

I guess he was Don the second time. My bad.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:24

So uh but no, I agree. I I agree with what you're saying. Yeah, I well, maybe Betty White will. Remember, we talked about how she's gonna be back for those four times.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:31

Yeah, and I would imagine the further we go, the more, but when it gets harder to actually get guests and they have to book people in roles, I would imagine we'll see more of it. But I I haven't been super impressed with the recurring people so far.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:45

Do we ever see Marshall Stubing again after this episode?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:50

I gotta think so. I mean easy, it's just such an easy thing to go to.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:55

It is, it is. You know, we'll see. We'll see. I hope so.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:59

Stubby, really a dick for not showing up to his son's wedding.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:02

Yeah, no kidding.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:03

I didn't even mention him.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:04

Boy, I bet you Stubby hates his other son. Oh my god. Uh spoiler alert. I rank my favorite Stubings, and we'll get to that in just a few minutes. I see a nighttime poolside carving station, Mike, and three violinists, and I wonder if one of those worked for Prince Schneider a few weeks ago when he was trying to impress Julie. The stupid red shoes.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:30

This made me realize. Yeah, and I think part of it is because we had so many exotic trips this season. Oh, yeah. We have not had a theme night in a while. We haven't had two in a long time.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:47

No blaming meat swords. We haven't had any of that, no English, you know, jellied eel night, any of that fun stuff. Italy.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:55

And you know, I know we have we have we actually have Christmas coming up in a few weeks, but hopefully by the time we get to January, we'll we'll get those flags back out. There's a lot of countries out there, Mike.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:05

I wonder if you could get like a well if they do a Christmas meal. Is there like a little Christmas flag? Like a little green flag with like a snowman on it or something like that they can put on the tables. I mean, I like the flags. I like to know what I'm eating.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:17

We haven't talked about it. Our Christmas first of all, the Christmas episode for them will be our Labor Day episode, which is hilarious. And then I still think we're gonna do our own Christmas episode. So I'm very excited. But they're so dressed appropriately.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:31

So far apart. They're like four months apart.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:34

It's gonna be great. Hey, Christmas in July, Christmas in September, whatever it is.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:38

I'm not wearing the whole, I'm not wearing the whole outfit for the laboratory.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:41

We were sweating when we did it last year, and it wasn't in September. I just remember how sweaty this Santa hats are really, really sweaty.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:48

They're not built for air, Larry.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:50

They're not conducive for a long, you know, I'm not conducive to a long form object.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:56

I'll do the hat for the Labor Day one. Um I'll save the whole outfit for the Christmas one.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:00

So yeah, yeah. I'm I'm gonna I think I'm gonna try to step up my game this year, too, for the for our Christmas episode. So that's different.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:08

That's a different yeah, it's different. That's I mean, that's the reason for the season. That is the reason for the season. I love the challenge of trying to make a Christmas title out of these non-Christians.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:18

I completely Mary Sue walks up to Julie and Gopher. She asks them if they've seen Dr. Parker. Neither Julie or Gopher have seen him. Mary Sue tells him that she'll go get something to eat. My coo doesn't love a poolside buffet, just to kind of get back to that. I mean, at least it's not a daytime. Daytime or other than salads. Yeah. Julie, it looks like Oklahoma City is carrying a king-sized torch. Gopher says, here comes the old heartbreaker himself as Dr. Parker enters the pool dining area, and Julie Gopher say they'll meet at the Caesar salad. Julie walks up to Dr. Parker, leads him to the buffet, as Gopher's talking to Mary Sue at the biggest bowl of Caesar salad I've ever seen in my life. Let me just take a minute to get serious here. That's a whole lot of cyclospor sporiasis right there. You know, I I just thought, you know, don't eat lettuce, lettuce strong, all these things. I saw it's just horrible timing. How insensitive of the love boat to do a lettuce gag. Don't eat lettuce. Interestingly enough, I I I have two rules on vacation, Mike. One for rule number one is no vegetables. So number two, no warm coffee. So no lettuce, no warm coffee. Just new rule.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:49

Cold coffee people are ridiculous.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:52

Only on vacation.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:53

You're inside an air conditioned house. That doesn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:57

It makes me feel like I'm on vacation. When when we Did the visit. What did I drink? Iced coffee. Vacation. Puts me in a nice coffee mindset.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:08

It's dumber than your new vegetables roll.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:10

It is pretty dumb. Principles. Dr. Parker, Mary Seward now face to face. She tells Dr. Parker that she didn't think he was coming to dinner. Because Dr. Parker says that he lost track of time. He misplaced his watch. Hold on for a second, because you're gonna find it. She tells him that that's terrible, but he'll find it sooner or later. She goes on to say he'll probably find it somewhere like in his pocket. She goes to put the watch in his pocket, but drops it in the giant bowl of cyclosporiasis. Oh no. In between the two gripper spripper parts of the set of tongs. Mike, is there a name for that piece of the tongue? Gripper?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:51

Like the tongue.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:53

Yeah, what is that called? Like where the where the actual grip part of the tong is. Or is that just tong?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:58

Top of the tongue. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:00

And then the other thing is tong versus tweezer. Isn't a tongue just a food tweezer?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:05

I mean, the bigger problem is somebody's sticking their hand in this big bowl of common sense. They really are definitely not replacing it because it's enormous.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:12

It is enormous. Somebody's tossing that thing literally with hands. Just oh god. Or a tongue or a tong. Food tweezer. Mary soon starts tossing the salad to cover the watch. Then she starts piling the salad on her Dr. Parker's plate. So much romaine on that man's plate.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:37

It's a lot of salad humor.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:38

It's a lot of salad humor. A poolside captain's table? Mike, how do you feel about this?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:44

Uh I guess I guess I respect that they're making an effort to reestablish the captain's table, but I mean, we have talked for years about how it isn't in one place. Now it's not even the right room. It's got pool furniture. It's got poolside furn plastic furniture. Yeah. Yeah. This is basically he's down, he's in wild wood having a dinner.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:06

He's in sea aisle. Mike's seafood. Unbelievable. Yeah, with a million dollar. We see Stubing at the at least Stubing's at the head of the table. Natalie's to his left. Doc is next to Natalie. Marshall is sitting to the right of Stubing. You know why I'm breaking down the seating chart. And Meryl is giving the toast. Let me make sure I get this toast here. May your seas be calm, your skies be clear, and may all of your storms blow away quickly.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:41

It's not an old sea, it's not an old sea toast if you just mention some boat stuff.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:46

It's terrible. That's one of the worst toasts I've ever heard of.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:52

Remember that old sea shanty toast he did like that's the worst one.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:58

Well, yeah, this one's bad. It's like he just came up with the top of his head.

unknown 1:09:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:03

But how about Doc with the save? He says, Or in the words of John Paul Jones down the hatch. Mike, that that is a Beverly Hills physician level of social awareness. He bailed him out of that spot.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:14

Well, it's not just that, but then Doc was like, you know what? I am done being in this episode that I have barely been in. Doc is in this thing for like two minutes.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:22

He checked out after that. Well, they checked him out. Here comes Annette. Marshall, darling. How sweet of you to insist that I have dinner with you tonight. Marshall gets big uh big gets big uh oh. His eyes get big. She talks about how they were in Paris. She tells Marshall that they should go back to Paris. Annette sits down following the boy girl boy seating chart. Good job, Annette. Good job, Annette darling. Annette goes on to say that their dinner was wonderful, but it's the dessert she'll never forget.

unknown 1:09:54

Boy, here we go.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:56

Marshall says he doesn't remember. Annette says that he kept coming back for more. All right, Annette. Keep it in your pants. Jesus. Annette congratulates Natalie, tells her that her future husband has a fantastic appetite. And this is great. Here we go. Here let me get the right button ready for this one. Natalie replies, yes, he has a very healthy appetite. The only difference is that the is that the menu has improved.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:29

I mean it was like she she brought the fire when Ja Zah was there, but she didn't bring it when Ja Zah wasn't there. I just wish they had kind of kept that energy, you know, in the non-Jaja scenes when he was kind of like Marshall was like clearly doing stuff and she didn't really care. I don't think she was worried about it, but I would have liked a little more.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:51

Consistency with the with the spiciness in person. Like keep a like keep going. She should have told her, like, leave him alone. Like let's get a cat fight.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:00

Let's get a cat fight here.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:02

Stooping break it up. Two fights in one episode.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:04

Let's get Gavin McClellan get hit by Gavin McClellan.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:10

Or Mr. Lujack will get involved. How Mr. Lujack get in a fight with one of these guys.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:14

I mean Lujak should be the captain, as far as I'm concerned.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:16

He should be head of security, at least. He's handling business.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:20

Damn right. Take that swag.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:21

Vicki is talking to Maggie Cook about scenes that sw that swag did on stage. I want to say at this point, Mike, Vicky believes in Kfabe. It's still real to me, dammit. Like she is she is a believer.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:34

And then Maggie Cook, a terrible job as an agent.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:37

What an awful thing to say to a 12-year-old, too.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:40

Telling a kid that it's fake, that's not real. Like it's still real to her, damn it.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:44

Like, I mean, like why are you showing like behind the curtain? You would do the opposite. She's almost like softening, like waiting for this guy to let her down.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:54

Right. I mean, like, do they I guess maybe they just don't think that it's a kid's show, which I get, but like you wouldn't just turn off fans. Oh, would you alienate? Good job, Maggie Cook. Terrible.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:04

Yeah, that was a weird swag walks up and shushes Maggie, like low-key shushes her. Vicky asks if this is true. Swag tells her that's only to save time. And I'm talking about would Maggie's explained swag as a stunt double again. It's just tells her that he picked up something for her at the gift shop. This is a little confusing to me. He asked her to wear it. It's a Steve Swaggart badge. Number one, why would they sell those at the gift shop?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:33

Maybe because it's a special gift shop because of the TV Hero of the Year.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:38

Fair enough, which leads me to and we're adding that item to the online project shop immediately.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:45

We have a lot of we have a lot of episode-specific things like for guests. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:50

I mean, this is perfect. This is perfect. Who wants a swag badge? I mean, who doesn't?

unknown 1:12:55

Exactly.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:56

Hope nothing happens where we'd want to take that all out of the store immediately. We'll see what happens. Vicky says that she'll never take it off. She leaves to go show Captain Merrill. Swag sits down and asks Maggie why she isn't as impressed with him as Vicky is. Maggie probably should have said, Well, because she's a 12-year-old girl.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:16

I'm your agent.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:17

Yeah. Plus, I smartened her up.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:20

Here comes those two guys from before. One of them asks Maggie if she's still babysitting this guy. She goes on to tell Maggie, he goes on to tell Maggie to go out with him and he'll show her what it's like to be with a real man.

unknown 1:13:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:32

This guy doesn't give a crap.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:34

He's playing clubber lang. Like he's just a kidding.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:39

Oh, that's funny. That is a very clubberlang thing to do. Oh man. Maggie says, sorry. The guy asks if she's one of those Hollywood Broads who think they're too good to go out with an ordinary guy. Comes Maggie with a zinger. Says she can't go out with a man whose neck size and IQ are the same number.

unknown 1:13:58

Ouch.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:59

Oof, I guess. Good one. That's not gonna, that's a terrible, you know. That's not gonna affect a guy like Mr. Lujack.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:06

Oh, you know Joe Lujack.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:10

He hasn't listened to a woman at the day he was born. He doesn't he doesn't even hear what she's saying. He says, I like him feisty. His friend lures him away to go have a beer. Because if there's one thing Mr. Lujack loves more than women, it's beer.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:24

There's one thing that Mr. Lujack needs is more than wicked.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:27

More yeah. Maggie yells, yells to have them put a head on it because he sure needs one. Zinger? Question mark? Is that a Milwaukee cut down? Is that a I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:41

She should have sat on that that first that first.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:43

Yeah, that was Swag is impressed at how Maggie stood up to that guy. Maggie says one of us has to.

unknown 1:14:50

Oh, snap.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:52

Swag's big weak anyway. Dr. Parker's still eating lettuce. Mary Sue's talking to him about being a doctor. He says he loves helping others. She says it's very noble. He says it's all about helping your fellow man. She says, or woman, as the case may be. Dr. Parker stops eating his lettuce. There's so much lettuce on his plane. Good luck. Mary Sue starts to say that she has a friend who Parker interrupts and explains that this means she's talking about herself. The friend is a fabrication. He goes for his next salad bite, and his watch is on the fork. He looks at her, she looks at him and says, Help. Mike, we are 16 minutes and 52 seconds into the episode, and we finally go to our first commercial.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:40

And I know where most of it's going.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:44

That was a huge chunk of time on this.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:47

Just Yeah. Yeah. It was Yeah. It was yeah, it was just a lot of info. Yeah, it's it's a lot. And they felt the need to they almost like did the rare in the first act, they obviously the best ones explain where we're going, right? But then they went back and kind of doubled back on everything to make sure you understood.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:09

Yeah, I didn't like the yeah, like it feels like being forced.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:14

Like well, and the thing is, we've talked about these, right? But for the most part, we did kind of just go in a wheel with this stuff, you know. There were a few few things, but especially with the Klepto and the Marshall stuff, it's kind of like the same bit a few times.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:33

It is. I mean, how many times does the same action have to happen in sl within slightly different circumstances to make it feel like a different interaction?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:42

Right.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:42

Because the the yeah, the klepto thing is already kind of back from break, we're in the Acapulco Lounge. We see Schwag watching the two men from before as they drink at the bar. Mr. Lujack is paying his tab and says goodbye to Isaac.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:01

Good guy.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:02

Good nice guy. Swag walks up to. I bet you he's a good, I bet you Lujak's a good tipper, too. He just seems like that. You know, blue collar. Swag walks to the bar, asks Isaac about the man who was sitting in the seat before him. Name is Mr. Lujak, but we know that. We know Lujak. You know, it goes way back. Swag tells Isaac that he's an old friend of his. Ask Isaac to get him out of his cabin around 10:30. By the way, this is the dumbest plan. The dumbest. It's so stupid. Like this guy's not an act, he's just dumb. Like he just is very dumb.

unknown 1:17:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:37

Swag wants to play in a practical joke on him. Isaac says he can't because he's on duty till midnight. Why do you just ask Gopher? I don't understand what the need for this conversation here. Why do you just ask Gopher?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:47

Like, why isn't why isn't the answer sorry? We can't do that.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:51

We work here. I'm pouring drinks.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:52

Like and like permission should be given. Like so. What if you're going to try and kill him? Like right.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:00

Like, I don't know why it'd be an accessory.

unknown 1:18:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:05

Gopher offers to do it and tells Swag that he loves practical jokes. Swag asks him to buy him a drink and hands him some money and that's a favor. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:15

Gopher stole that money.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:17

Stole her money, yeah. Back on the dance floor, Marshall's dancing with Natalie. Tells her that Annette meant nothing to him and that Natalie's the woman he's going to marry. Natalie says that they know that, but does Annette know that? Come on. Well put, Natalie. Natalie's the voice of reason this week. Stubing is dancing with Annette. He's such just he's telling her how glamorous she is. Come on, Meryl.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:43

You've seen more glamorous people, Meryl. Don't sell yourself short.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:46

And he's and look, he can't even say like he was drinking and he didn't mean to say these stupid things. He's sober Stubing, telling this woman how all right. He warns her about her beauty and how his brother can't keep his hands off the bonbons. And that says something about something about two days before marriage being taboo. I and it was like a weird Hungarian accent. I listened like four times and I don't We see that she has her room key in her hand behind Stubing's back. Way to be like inconspicuous, too. Like dangle, dangle, dangle. She dangles the key to get Marshall's attention. It worked, and Marshall grabs the key.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:28

Here's what I don't understand. Why I would even grab Well, it's very It's a very, very much a trope, right? Where you give someone you give somebody the room key.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:39

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:41

But just like knock on the door. She'll be in there.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:45

Yeah, why do you need the key? Oh, you plan on being like prepared, right? Is that what it is?

SPEAKER_02 1:19:52

That you can walk in on that.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:53

It's gonna be spread eagle.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:56

Like I the only time I ever thought that made sense was when if it was like, oh, well, you know, you can get there way before me, so people like, you know, if you're trying to sneak around or something like that, maybe, but this doesn't seem to you I don't think you need it. I mean, if we just started using keys recently.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:12

Yeah, it's true. The only thing that keeps going through my mind is something that I've heard you say more than a few times is him unlocking the door and Ja Ja's there, all legs akimbo, just just in the air, naked as a jaybird.

unknown 1:20:26

Hello, darling.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:27

Hello, Marsha, darling.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:30

Well, it's funny though, he he tries to unlock it, but she forgot that she has the little bolt on it, and so it's just kind of banging into the chain on it.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:37

Ah, darling. One up. And then they play battleships at the door.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:42

Paul Willis is there dressed as a boy story.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:47

Isaac's carrying some boxes as he sees Gopher making out with a passenger. I don't even know who this was, but good for you, Gopher. Taps him on the shoulder, tells him it's 1035. Wasn't he supposed to have Mr. Lujack out of his cabin by 1030? Gopher says, I forgot. That's it.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:04

And I'm over.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:05

My bad. I already spent the money. I spent the five dollars.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:08

I spent the money on this lady here.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:11

Oh, we see Swag and Maggie walking up to the cabin door. Swag says, I didn't want to do this, but he left me no choice. Swag's a real Dolt. I don't even know what.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:23

He's adult.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:24

He's a he is adult. He's but he's just so but if you're adult and he's that big, at least you know what I'm saying? That's what he's he's the he's the weakest adult I've ever seen.

unknown 1:21:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:34

There's no There's no there. No, it's just Maggie tells Swag to forget about Lujack. Swag says he he he can insult him all he wants, but when he makes a pass at you, again, that's his agent. Like let's not that's the thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:50

It's like it's very unclear.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:52

Like if he'd said but it's a different thing if he's disrespectful to you. That changes the whole thing. But the whole make a pass makes it seem like Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:02

It didn't it didn't really matter. But I mean it is the love boat, right? But then if you're gonna make it a love boat thing, then I need a little bit more than that be a speech that he makes at the end.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:13

So it wasn't even a long speech, Mike. It was a quick speech.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:17

It was long enough.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:18

And I think from now on, if I ever have to make a speech, as soon as I as soon as I make it, I'm just walking out. Just just walking out.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:26

I think if I ever have to make a speech, I'm making that speech.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:29

Words were words. I'm an actor. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:33

You know, some people don't understand that how acting works. Like, come on.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:38

And you just walk to see if anybody chases after you'd be great. Swag knocks on the door expecting no one to be in there. Mr. Lujack is inside reading a book. Mr. Lujak's a big reader.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:51

Yeah, I think I think he's a I think he's a Louis Lamore, maybe? I think he's he's a layered individual. Like he's that's true. He was so nice to Isaac, which means he's good to like the service industry. And that's true. He's got a he's got a a really good relationship with a with his buddy there. Like I think Lujak is open-minded.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:11

He's just a bit of a rascal.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:12

He's around tour.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:14

Yeah, it's it's Mr. Lujack's vacation, too.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:17

It is.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:18

Swag starts talking to him through the door, says he's says that he's too scared to come to the door. Swag wants to meet him on the Leto deck at noon tomorrow, just settle this once and for all. Swag turns to leave. Mr. Lujack opens the door and says, Anytime you're ready, sweetheart. What a great line.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:36

The only thing that would have made it better is he would have come out and like night before Christmas. Bed outfit like Oh, Mr.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:47

Lujack.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:48

Or an old maid guard outfit, like the weightlifter with the Oh, you mean like a before like sleep shirt?

SPEAKER_05 1:23:54

You know, just comes out with a with a candle, looking like Ebenezer. Jeez. Dr. Parker's telling Mary Sue that it's courageous for her to confess, explains more about Kleptomania. They start smooching and he explains that she will need to spend a lot of time with her doctor. She agrees. She starts to walk away and realizes that she stole his fountain pen and she returns it. Okay. This swagger.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:22

This guy for being such a workaholic like the little loosey-goosey on the ethics. You can't have someone tell you they're a problem. You start it like this is this is beyond the pale in terms of ethics, right?

SPEAKER_05 1:24:41

This is like it's it's it's take it's super taken advantage.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:45

Her her her treatment, quote unquote, right is still smoking and you're and you're making out with her. Like that's a that's a hard no, dog. Sorry.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:56

Um and the thing is is is what he's doing has no bearing on what she's doing. You know what I mean? But somehow in the end he's like, oh.

unknown 1:25:04

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:06

She's vulnerable because she's opening up about a problem and you're you're going to Smooch Town. Sorry.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:11

And you're just yeah, you're approaching her with an open mouth. Like, what is going on here?

SPEAKER_02 1:25:15

Sorry, Bob.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:16

Well, good thing Julie's on the boat to give her some really good advice here in a few minutes.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:20

I mean, I think it was.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:21

Jesus, Julie. I mean, she's not the one qualified to give that advice, though, because she's the season of Julie McCoy. I'm telling you. The season of personal experience. Swag looks nervous as he walks with Maggie after the Mr. Lujack situation. Maggie asks him if there's something wrong. Swag says no. She tells him what a dumb thing he did, but says that she's never been so flattered. And they smooch and they say goodnight. First smooch ever for these guys.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:49

I mean, that's my question.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:52

And if it is, then that really I g I guess.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:56

It's not much of a reason to give somebody a smooch.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:59

I guess women are into that when you fight for them. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:02

But like Yeah, but she even said before she couldn't really respect it. He didn't even do anything yet. He just talked.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:08

Yeah. And the thing is, if you care that much about it, then when he gets his ass kicked, it's like Yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:14

Then they go, Oh, this guy's a joke, and they all abandon him and they're getting drunk on the Shirley Temples with two cherries in it. Come on. Marshall and Natalie are in their cabin together. Natalie asks if he's getting sleepy. Marshall tells her that he's that he isn't tired. He's gonna go visit his brother. Natalie says that she'll save him a place. Marshall leaves. Natalie follows him and tells him he forgot his key. She gives it to him and tells him not to be long. Marshall rolls his eyes and walks away. He approaches the door, approaches a door, looks at the number on the door, and looks at the number on the key. And we go to our second commercial break, a much quicker act this time.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:56

So at this point, even though I was I was already kind of like, do they have the balls to have Stubing hookup with Josh Agapoor? That's what I was thinking was gonna do. Right. So, or at least like a misinterpretation of it or something. That makes sense, yeah. Yeah, like that would have been interesting.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:21

Yeah, I wasn't sure what was gonna happen here.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:24

Luckily, the answer was nothing.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:27

Right, right, right. I'm I'm glad it ended up the way it ended up, but it would have been curious. I would have been curious to see like if they had come up with a different we don't want to have anything interesting happen here. No, nothing. No, let's smooth sail through this thing. We don't need any distractions at this point.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:41

Just like Betty White two weeks ago, we're just gonna have him stare at a door and nothing happens.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:46

Wonderful. Annette Funicello would be proud. Any anytime there's a storyline where nothing happens, I immediately think of a net funicello.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:54

There was a little funicello in here, which is crazy if you think about what they were doing. But there was a little funicello in here.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:00

Yeah. Stubing sees Marshall sitting on deck. Up. Time for some more split screen magic. Not bad. Better than the first time here.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:07

Definitely is.

unknown 1:28:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:08

Stubing wants to talk to Marshall about Annette and that she's a troublemaker. Marshall says that he's had enough trouble without her. Says that he isn't sure that Natalie can support the lifestyle he's used to. Tell Stubing that she's wiped out. Stubing says, wiped out or not, Natalie's the best thing that's ever happened to you.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:27

Which is definitely the thing he said about Diane Laz.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:29

Yeah, he loves to say that to people. Tells Marshall, if he had a doll with a string, one of the things he would say is, She's the best thing that ever happened to you. Yep. It's one of his five phrases.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:40

What's the best thing ever happened to you, Meryl? You didn't invite you, you didn't include Vicky in any of this stuff with your brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:49

That's true. No time was spent with their niece, with his niece. Didn't even no conversations, no maybe she was a great point.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:57

Maybe. Like I don't even know.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:00

I mean, well, I took an issue with that too. We'll get to that in a moment. Tells Marshall that working for a living is not that terrible. And Marshall says, Well, I'd never make my wife work, which that was funny. That got me. That got me. I was like, go away.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:14

That was funny. There was there, of course, there's stuff there. It's just not enough.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:18

There's plenty of opportunity, especially if it's the same guy. You'd think that you'd have an abundance of these type of like almost like he forgot how to do it. I don't know what happened. It's not the same character.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:30

It's not. It's there's just not there's there's just not that zany energy that there was in the first one.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:36

No, and and and not even just zany energy. I think the the the sort of air of like unexpected.

unknown 1:29:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:43

Like he was just a wild card. He didn't know what he was gonna do.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:45

Yeah, he was definitely not a wild card in this one.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:47

No, because I feel like he didn't even know what he was gonna do.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:50

You know, like he's firmly in short, yeah, it's just a it's just completely different. But do you think his interaction with Stubing the first time changed his character so much that this is his character?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:01

I'm sure it did in their minds, but I don't need to see that.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:05

But they rewrote the damn thing, you know?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:07

Character element out of no, I don't either.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:11

Let's just get on the boat. Come on now.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:13

Get nuts. Let's it's funny because we'll rip him. Let's kill a crew member.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:17

Let's oh, let's start over. Let's start over. That's funny. God, it's funny. He made me laugh. I completely Mary Sue's sitting poolside as Julie says hello to her. Julie asks why she's looking so glum. She explains what happened with Dr. Parker and that Dr. Parker's only interested in her in a professional way. Okay. She explains to Julie that he helped her with a problem. Julie says that if her problem isn't cured, she'll still have to see the doctor.

unknown 1:30:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:49

Hint, hint, hint. Says that seeing him professionally is better than not seeing him at all, and this advice definitely comes from experience.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:57

But I will say this, it's very interesting. We've talked about the fact that this season is like amalgamation of the three seasons of Julie. We didn't like a lot about last season, but there was a lot of like Julie McCoy advo advice giving. But every time she gave advice last year, it just felt like she was doing it in like this weirdly angry, bitterly she's still pissed off.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:19

Like they they what they put her through, you know, from the beginning of the year.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:23

I could have 100% hear her giving this advice last year, but it would have more of like a edge and all that stuff. This was just this made sense. Julie was like, you know, here's what would work. You're right. It did it did come off very I liked it. I just have liked the Julie beats all season, even in small stuff like this. This wasn't out of bounds by any means, I thought she her and gopher clearly had some interest in getting these two together.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:48

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:49

You know, and she's she's helping out.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:51

It feels like a true representation of her character, as of as as opposed to like last year, like you're saying, because there was so much crap going on with her.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:59

You couldn't just like switch it to this in the middle of a yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:02

She didn't like pop up out of nowhere and shove her nose in the business. It was very like this. Was just like, hey, here's some advice, friend.

SPEAKER_05 1:32:09

Yeah, I thought I thought that was nice. And I thought it was a sweet gesture. Maybe it's not the most healthy advice for someone who with mental illness, but of course not.

unknown 1:32:17

No.

SPEAKER_05 1:32:18

Swaggis pool side posing for pictures with fans. I say, hold on. I I'm I'm missing. I missed a couple things. Okay, I got it, got it, got it. Barbie.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:30

Yeah. We missed.

SPEAKER_05 1:32:31

Yeah, so back from break, Dr. Parker was in his. Sorry, I I I just got so excited. He was he was in his yeah. He was doing his tape recorder. Audio notes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:41

He's doing his tape recorder bit and he says he starts to talk about Mary Sue. Then he stops because Mary Sue knocks on the door because they're gonna have go to breakfast, but this is when he realizes that they can't. Not a big deal, except for the fact that he stops talking maybe two sentences in, which maybe comes up later.

SPEAKER_05 1:32:59

Well, and he says that she he can't go to breakfast, he's too busy, and he shuts his cabin door on her.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:04

Right, right in the face.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:05

Right in the face.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:06

And then the thing we missed with Blue Jack was I got the here too.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:10

Yeah. Yeah. So Swag uh walks up to Mr. Lujack as he as he's eating his breakfast, asks if he can have a word with Mr. Lujack.

unknown 1:33:18

Mr.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:19

Lujak asks if he's chicken in chickening out. He's not chickening out, Mike. Swag explains that he has a business proposition for him. He asked him to take a dive and offer some 500 bucks. And again, 500 in 1980. That's a gee, that's a decent chunk of change.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:36

At the moment that that happened, I was like, okay. But Luja would definitely ask for more money.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:48

Well, he I don't think he was he just gave the money back at the end.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:53

I don't think he was ever going to do it, that's the point. But I think that's a good one.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:58

Do you think he keeps the money and still punches him?

SPEAKER_02 1:34:00

Oh, I thought he should have either kept it or thrown it on him.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:05

I she should have kept it. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:34:08

The fact that he didn't ask for more made me think that he was gonna punch him regardless.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:13

No matter, he should have punched him right there when he tried to offer him the five. I'm sorry. Here we go. So now Swag is poolside posing for pictures with fans. He walks up to Vicky and Maggie playing checkers. Vicky asks Swag if he's really gonna fight Mr. Lujak. No security on this boat, Mike. No security. Everyone knows it's about to go down, but no security. It's like a prison fight. Like everyone knows it's about to happen.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:39

They had a sanctioned boxing match and Stubing couldn't stop it.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:43

That's true. That is true. That is true. Not that he's good at breaking up fights if you remember the famous 360 from a season prior, season two.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:53

I'm disappointed that Stubing didn't somehow get hit.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:55

Get in the middle, Stubing. Here comes Mr. Lujak, he's ready to fight. Swag is bobbing and weaving. Like, what? I don't know what you're doing here. Mr. Lujak hits him with a red cross. And down goes Fraser after one punch. Amazing. It wasn't even like a haymaker. He swags can't get up and still swag, so Lujak calls him a Hollywood phony. He says, You don't have enough money to get me to take a dive, and he throws the money down.

unknown 1:35:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:32

Maggie's disgusted by this and walks away. Vicky says, Come on, swag always wins in the end. Swag says, only when I hire the writers. I thought that would be going to commercial break after that one. But no.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:48

Yeah, we have gotten a lot of at least this violence we saw coming. But we had Prinel Roberts, had Donnie Most hit that dude. That's right. Like there have been a lot of stuff. I'm sure we're missing some.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:05

Physicality's been dialed up this recently. I'm I'm for it.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:09

It's that dynasty Dallas.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:11

It is. Back in the Pirates Cove. Isaac hands a bloody Mary to Maggie and a Shirley Temple with two cherries for Vicky.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:19

Vicky is was Isaac wearing the Silk Al he was.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:23

He was. I know he's wearing it. Yeah, he was. He was.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:25

That was the first. That was the first of the season, I believe.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:28

Yeah, I don't see. Yeah, I haven't seen We haven't done much Pirates' Cove. No. Mm-mm. And it used to be a staple. Like that's where all like the impactful scenes would happen. Back in the hands, yeah, Bloody Mary to Maggie, Shirley Temple with two cherries to Vicky. Maggie had to cancel the TV, TV Hero of the Year award. Boy, they're really just saying, screw this, screw this guy. Like swag.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:52

Wouldn't you? I feel like if a good agent canceling it would draw way more attention than not canceling it. Like if you're worried about the press getting a hold of it, that's gonna be way worse.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:08

Right? Just have I mean and plus if I'm an agent, I'm telling my client, you're not leaving your you're not leaving your cab.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:15

Right.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:16

You're not going anywhere. Just stay put.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:18

Get lood jack. Don't even get load jack policy. Ignore.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:22

Just ignore. Stay in your cabin. Watch us play checkers. Shoot. And her swaggy tells Isaac he's looking for Doc, thinks his jaw is broken. Isaac tells him that if his jaw was broken, he wouldn't be able to talk.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:37

Doc isn't on the episode this week.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:39

Yeah, Doc's done. Doc checked out. I don't know what happened.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:42

Ernie did all his lines in 45 seconds.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:45

Can I just leave early? Is it what's customary? You wait till the end of the show.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:50

We get like an episode of Bricker next week because I hope so.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:53

Imagine an hour of just nothing but Bricker. Just following him on rounds would be great. Swag says hi to Vicky and Maggie, he's oblivious. He starts to say, I know I did something wrong. Vicky interrupts him. She says, Yes, you did. You forgot to bring your stunt man and hands him back the badge. Mike, I'm getting a message. Sweet the Steve Swagger badge has been pulled from the project shop until further notice. So production has stopped on the Steve Swaggart badge. Cancel all the pre-orders.

unknown 1:38:30

Dr.

SPEAKER_05 1:38:31

Parker's in his cabin on his typewriter. He pulls the paper he was typing out, throws it away. Knock on the door. It's Mary Sue. She barges in, dumps a bag full of stolen items. She says that something snapped after she had breakfast alone and she's out of control. She says she needs help now. He takes the blame and says he triggered some sort of response, tells her that he's staying with her for every minute, day and night. She says that she's very grateful, especially at night.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:01

In a show that rushes everything so much, like this felt this felt like too much, right?

SPEAKER_05 1:39:09

Just half stepping, man. We know it was gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:12

Yeah, and it's just like the doctor was I don't know. It was it was just poor, poorly executed, I guess. Yeah, it was. I don't I don't care.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:22

We're putting it on this better, just cleaner, you know?

unknown 1:39:24

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:25

We go to a third commercial break back from break Mary Sue and Dr. Parker on the Acapulco Lounge. He says how sweet it is. She says how sweet it is for him to take care of her. She starts to steal a purse as she's saying this, and Dr. Parker stops her and gives her a smooch. Gopher walks up and asks Mary Sue if she returned all those wallets to the lost and found yet. Boy.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:47

But Gopher has been just blowing up spots.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:50

Blowing up spots. Right. Put a note under her door.

unknown 1:39:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:57

Dr. Elliot figures out her game and is not happy. He tells her that uh honesty is the most important element in a relationship, excuse me, between a doctor and a patient, and the man and a man and a woman. And walks away. This guy's not of some of a relationship expert. Come on.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:14

I don't think he's a real psychiatrist. No.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:17

He's like Dr. I's level doctor. It's nonsense.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:19

Because here's the thing like you can't be mad at both if you're him.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:27

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:27

Because either this is a cry for help that needs more therapy.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:31

Or he's too dumb to see through it. Right?

SPEAKER_02 1:40:34

You don't really care. Or you're trying to have your cake and eat it too, which is what it is.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:38

So apparently this guy can't. He doesn't understand what's fake and what's not fake. I mean, she's not helping that along.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:44

There is a lot of kayfabe in this.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:46

A lot of kayfabe. Yeah. A lot of kayfabe. Marshall sits Natley down at a table and tells her he's going to get drinks for them. Walks to the bar. Orders two martinis from Isaac. Annette walks up. Marshall, darling. Asks him if she if he's forgotten something. Marshall says, You're right. Make him extra dry, good one. Annette says that he didn't use the key that she gave him. He says he couldn't and that his Playboy days were over. She then says, 11 30 in my cabin. Marshall says, I'll see if the old me is available. Again, it's always this like it's it's like a half step. It's too short, you know?

SPEAKER_02 1:41:28

Yeah, but there's like no real they don't give it enough to make me think he's going to do anything.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:35

No wait. Right, no wait.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:36

Or to care that he might like it.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:38

Yeah, it was it because it's almost like expect him to say it.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:42

But it doesn't if if if this was not Gavin McLeod playing his brother, if this was just somebody else, this would be a horrible storyline because it just there's no there's no there there again.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:54

Yeah. Well, and there's no like I get that they're trying to highlight like the possibility of a lack of integrity on this Martial character, but like in every fork on the road, we're dealing with the same thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:07

Right. And it never really never happens. It never even gets but it never even gets close. No, that's what's and we'll talk about it. I would be curious to hear your thoughts on what did happen and how far that is to going, because I think there's probably a way that he did go too far.

SPEAKER_05 1:42:26

So that's true. That is true. Julie knocks on Dr. Parker's cabin door, she hands him his tape recorder and says that Mary Sue asked her to give it to him and that she'd like for him to play the tape.

unknown 1:42:40

Dr.

SPEAKER_05 1:42:40

Parker takes the recorder and listens. It was Mary Sue trying to explain herself and apologizes to Dr. Parker.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:45

She recorded over like hours.

SPEAKER_05 1:42:48

Up important notes.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:50

Psychological stuff.

SPEAKER_05 1:42:52

Oh. I'm talking about HIPAA. What if she'd listened to the whole thing, too? Now we're in big trouble.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:57

Is this a play button or is this a record button? We don't have tape recorders.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:01

Not an OKC. Mm-mm. Maggie's sitting at the bar, and listener Lujack is sitting at a nearby table with his friend.

unknown 1:43:08

Yeah, he is.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:09

Probably feeling pretty good about himself right now, too. Lujack's telling his friend that he could take on any of these Hollywood tough guys. His friend asked him if he's gonna punch out Captain Kangaroo next, which made me laugh.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:21

You know what? I this is this it's early.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:25

Those guys might get best duo, too. Oh, they were funny, man.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:30

They were funny. What a great Captain Kangaroo. I was hoping they could say Mr. Green Jeans or something like that, but I love the Captain Kangaroo reference.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:40

The same.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:41

Yeah, like the old this is the pop culture episode.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:44

My uh my my son, there's a couple bunnies that run outside here. Yeah. And my son named the one of them Walter Sandwich, which feels like a very formal name.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:57

Uh and for all of you who do not know who Captain Kangaroo is, children's show, character. What else would you say?

SPEAKER_02 1:44:08

Three C Street, but kind of in that vein of like a show with a bunch of characters and some education, a lot of puppet kind of stuff. Yeah. Live action.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:19

Yeah, it was it was I liked it. I liked it. It was on the morning. It was a little more like real world. It was a little more uh took place in the real world more than like Mr. Rogers. Like they didn't have like a land of make-believe, they had a bunch of characters. It was cool. I watched it.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:37

All about real stuff.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:38

That's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:40

We had Captain Noah in Philadelphia, who of course Captain Noah. Captain Noah, yeah. Send your pictures to dear old Captain Noah.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:48

Noah?

SPEAKER_02 1:44:49

Noah, yeah. Like he had a boat.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:51

Oh, is that what the whole gimmick was? Do you have animals too?

SPEAKER_02 1:44:54

No, he was dressed like a like a captain, like a red red jacket captain. And his wife was on there, and you'd see. He did have a hat.

SPEAKER_05 1:45:04

We had Rompa Room was big growing up, and they would look to the mirror and I'd be like, come on, say my name, say my name. She'd go, I see. Luckily, my name is like well, our name is like the most popular name at the time. So it was we were shoeing. Yeah, 100% of our names are boo boo-boo-boo-boo. I apologize. Maggie's sitting at the bar, Mr. Lujak. Gopher hears this and tells Isaac that Stubing should should have thrown Lu Jack off the ship. Isaac tells Gopher that Maggie asked Stubing not to, because she figured it would be bad publicity, going back to what you said.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:42

Well, I do here's the thing. I agree with that. Because if Lujak talks to the if Lujak's pissed and gets you know all that stuff, right? I at least agree with that. I don't think he they should have canceled the ceremony. I also don't think stones to throw anybody off the boat.

SPEAKER_05 1:45:58

So it's Yeah, what do you have to do to get thrown off the boat? Assault, apparently not murder. Yeah, murder.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:08

Here's the problem though. Like, if you're gonna set that precedent, then we really, really, really should have arrested Pernel Roberts.

SPEAKER_05 1:46:17

A thousand percent. And the kissing bandit, too. That guy should have been thrown right off the boat. Geez. Swag enters the lounge.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:26

I forgot about how much criminal activity.

SPEAKER_05 1:46:28

There's been a lot. Remember the Christmas episode? The only thing that stopped him was were the Christmas carols from the orphans? Come on. Geez. Swag enters the lounge, asks if he can speak to Stubing for a moment. Stubing asks if he really wants to do that. And if they're whispering, Swag says, Yes. Stubing excuses himself.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:50

He calls for Julie, which means Julie had to run back and get the award.

SPEAKER_05 1:46:53

Oh boy. Stubing takes the microphone, says that the TV Hero of the Year will go on as planned. Maggie looks very surprised by this. Swag, imagine if he just awarded it to somebody else. Mr. Lujack wins the TV Hero of the Year. So I mean, come on.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:10

The music they play when he's coming up. Do you think that's the theme song the swag?

SPEAKER_05 1:47:17

Oh, I thought it was Magic Knight. I apologize.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:21

It's a bad theme song if it is. So but I feel like the band might have learned it for that occasion.

SPEAKER_05 1:47:27

So oh, you know if it was you know the guy from Hunter winning it, they would have played that, or the Hill Street Blues theme song.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:34

I wonder if we'll get Fred Dreyer on the boat. I feel like he'd be fun.

SPEAKER_05 1:47:40

I don't well now I'm thinking, do we get Merlin Olson? Do we get who's the other guy?

SPEAKER_02 1:47:48

How did you get the Merlin Olson?

SPEAKER_05 1:47:50

Well, because he was a former Ram just like Hunter. Yeah, yeah, and I'm thinking along those lines. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I liked Hunter and Dee Dee McCall. That's a great show.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:48:07

Anyway, Maggie looks surprised. Swag walks up to accept the award. He says he's honored to receive the award and that he's sorry that he isn't the man he portrays on television and that he's an actor. Quote.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:21

Sorry, before you before you do the quote. Yes, yes, yes. The crowd was so stunned by this that no one gives him really much of an ovation, and then Lujak does.

SPEAKER_05 1:48:32

Him and stooping, bunch of dummies with the overclapping.

unknown 1:48:35

It was great.

SPEAKER_05 1:48:36

It was oh when they introduce him and Lujak just keeps clapping. He's such a j I love that guy. Like Lujak's rules. He should be on every week. Get rid of the riffraff.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:48

Lujak City, baby.

SPEAKER_05 1:48:49

I love Lu Jack City. It just happens. Look at that. That's oh, that's funny. Oh, it's a guy just maybe gave me goosebumps on that one. That's a good one. That's funny. Quote, don't be disappointed with this TV character. Be disappointed with the actor. Julie hands the award to Swag. He thanks everyone and walks out. Somehow this gets people clapping. I don't really know what they're clapping for. Eventually, with Stuben leading the way. And then we see Maggie gets up and goes after Swag.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:29

You're basically seeing a pseudo-famous person have a mental breakdown while you're having dinner.

SPEAKER_05 1:49:36

They're insisting you give him an award. Like, give me my away. He's he's lost his marbles. Well, at least he doesn't think he's his character. Like he doesn't think that he's the guy he plays on TV, so that's somewhat healthy, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:53

Like, I mean, how many people in nineteen eighty think that you are your character, man?

SPEAKER_05 1:49:59

Yeah, that. That's like nineteen forties level kayfabe down in like Alabama.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:04

Like that's not Again, it just felt much like the Wheezy um act storyline last week. They just treated that whole thing. That was not an important issue of the day.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:15

I'm no, no, a hundred percent. Oh, on the rail, we see Mary Sue and Dr. Parker joins her. Plays the beginning of the tape for her, explains that he thinks that she's fascinating and he's falling in love with her, and they smooch. Well, that didn't take much, Mike.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:34

Now, Mike, it's the damnedest thing. In the scene earlier where he's recording into the thing, he only says about like half of what ended up on the recording.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:43

So what's like that Princess Leah message that she added to Obi-Wan? Remember the beginning, she could you could only hear tell me Obi-Wan, you're my only hope.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:52

And then he just needed to clean out the recorder.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:54

That's all it was. Forget Obi-Wan to see it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:58

This shady ass doctor made a new recording.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:01

So he has oh, he has so many recordings like this with just different women's names, you know, just shady. Not a doctor, not a doctor at all.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:10

That's why Doc left. He's like, I can't be on the boat with this.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:13

No, this guy I can't against my Hippocratic oath. Swag's leaning over a different railing with his award in his hand. Maggie walks up. He says, If you want to resign, he understands. Maggie tells him how proud of him she is. What a weird thing for an agent to say. Maggie, if number one, if Maggie's really the agent here, she's going, What the hell is wrong with you? Like, anyway.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:38

If anybody has a camera phone, we're fucked.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:40

Yeah, we are screwed. Put your polar oys away, ladies and gentlemen. Maggie says that she's the disappointed girl you help to believe again. She says that she's the one that really loves them a lot.

unknown 1:51:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:56

Let Vicky start their own fan club her own fan club and they smooch.

unknown 1:52:00

Don't care.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:02

I don't give two shits about this. All that stuff. Like I said, if they had made if they had made it more obvious, it almost should have been something where he had shown interest in her, but she had constantly rejected him.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:15

Because she's professional.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:17

And she also thinks that he's kind of he doesn't have fiber or wuss or whatever. Right. At least you can get there. But they just left it so vague.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:26

Well, it's not like he did anything to prove what she was feeling was wrong. No, he just said. He still didn't do anything. He still tried to pay someone to take a dive. True. And then basically he's like, Don't blame me. I'm an actor.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:40

Right.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:40

He acted like a like a. Anyway, I don't want to. Anyway. We see Marshall and Annette having champagne in her hotel her hotel room. Uh-oh. Natalie starts to knock on the cabin door, but she hears Marshall talking. He explains to Annette he loves Natalie and he's going to marry her tomorrow, and he gets up and leaves. He sees Natalie standing there, they smooch, and Stubing tells Marshall that he's proud of him. Which thing is he proud of? Going to the woman's room at 11 30 or leaving? I would hope it's not the first.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:14

I don't remember what we did the night before your wedding. And I don't even know if we did anything. But I definitely know your wife. And if you had spent the 1130 at night before your wedding with an ex.

SPEAKER_05 1:53:29

Oh god. Drinking champagne with her while she's in lingerie. Come on.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:33

I would have had way too colorful a tie on at your funeral, basically.

SPEAKER_05 1:53:38

Oh, you would had to whisk me out of there, you know? Oh, yeah, yeah. No, that's not at all.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:45

Like, it's just this level. And again, I think they were trying to portray Natalie as someone who got it and wasn't worried about it. Kind of I knew who you were when I met you.

SPEAKER_05 1:53:55

She's letting a lot go, though.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:57

She's letting a lot go. A lot go. And and that's where I thought the twist was going to be that she was lying about the 20 million as a test.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:08

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:09

But we couldn't even get that.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:10

No, we couldn't get that. It's Marshall's big wedding day. Let me ask you, why why is he not why is Stubing not marrying? It's on his ship. What's the what's the point of coming on the ship to get married if Stubing's not doing the wedding?

SPEAKER_02 1:54:24

Because remember Triple Split Screen? Remember at the Marathon where he said no longer can he do it, but he got special dispensation.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:34

Oh, that's right.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:36

I I don't know why that's a thing.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:38

Yeah, why is that a thing? Why I it worked for that storyline, but it really would have helped for this one.

SPEAKER_02 1:54:43

No, no idea. I also don't understand why you go to all these beautiful ports that you wouldn't get married in one of those. You're just getting married in a very small room on the boat. I also don't understand how this woman has no family there at all.

SPEAKER_05 1:55:01

You tell me a rich woman getting married would children, sisters, somebody. Somebody they're or maybe they're against it, and that's why they have to do it like this.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:11

Maybe. I don't know. It was there's a lot to a lot to be desired about the the Natalie Marshall wedding.

SPEAKER_05 1:55:18

Well, and I would think Natalie's family thinks Marshall's shady as all hell. Well, is probably why.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:23

That's fair. Maybe they voted for somebody else in the TV Hero of the Year award.

SPEAKER_05 1:55:27

It had to be someone other than Miss Piggy or Swag.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:32

Marshall they voted for multiple Chisholms.

SPEAKER_05 1:55:36

Every Chisholm. And Flo, the person who played, yeah. Marshall can't find the wedding ring. Stubing tells him that someone special flew in to do the job. Stubing opens the door and in walks another Stubing Mike. Come on. Unbelievable. Marshall yells, Milo. So it's an M thing. Alright, they hug. Milo explains that he was on a meditation retreat and picked up Marshall's wedding vibes. Quote, I hopped off the astral plane and hopped on a 747. Stooping with potential line of the week. Looks like you haven't landed yet, which made me laugh way more than it should have. Updated favorite stooping list, Mike. Coming at number four is Marshall. Number three is Merrill. Number two, Milo. Number one, Stubby. Just to kind of keep current with my with my okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:37

Where do Courtney and Vicky land on that list?

SPEAKER_05 1:56:40

Oh no, I I haven't even. This is just this is the newcomer family. Yeah, we're not diluting the bloodline to into no no no. Wedding sit huh? Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:51

Why couldn't they just have done uh I wish dad were here? Why couldn't they have just done one like that?

SPEAKER_05 1:56:56

Something. Oh god, I want stubby to come back so bad.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:01

How old do you think Milo was the last time Phil Silvers spoke to him?

SPEAKER_05 1:57:12

Yeah, that that's a funny point. That is a very funny point. God, that's funny. Wedding ceremony begins. Marshall puts the ring on Natalie, and they're officially married. Milo, man, that's too much. Rio Groovy. Stubing, you took the words right out of my mouth. These guys are worlds different. And we go to our final commercial break.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:37

That's why I just wish they would have just done this whole thing with Milo. It was the energy that Stubing had the first time, like with Marshall. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:45

I just I Well, now you shot your wild with Milo. Are we ever gonna get Milo back?

SPEAKER_02 1:57:50

Well, and it also made me think I didn't realize what I needed, right? Like don't give me that at the end.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:57

No, we needed Milo like midway or something.

SPEAKER_01 1:58:01

Yeah, for sure, man.

SPEAKER_05 1:58:02

Oh, it would have been great. Those two.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:05

Damn, I think Milo's I think Milo's real father is Phil Harris.

SPEAKER_05 1:58:13

Jeez, do something like that. Back from break, swag and Mag. See what I did there and are leaving. Vicky says she'll never miss another show. Swag tells Vicky that the next time she sees him blow a kiss, that it's for her. It's a weird. And then I'm like, did just weathermen have all different symbols? Like if you're a single weatherman, I bet like, no girl, I touched my nose six times. You know, I bet's just crazy. Pulling ears.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:38

That show's canceled. That that people are gonna find out that Lujackle choir doesn't have a lujack story next to it.

SPEAKER_05 1:58:44

Oh, lujack sighting. Isaac, yeah, Swag gets Lujacked. You know what I mean? Just Isaac congratulates Maggie and Swag for deciding to get married. Here comes Mr. Lujak. Speaking of Lujack, he tells Swag that what he did took a lot of guts and that Swag can take a free swing at him. Let me just say, Lujak's not letting anybody take a fucking free swing at him. I promise you that.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:09

I don't think he's worried that that would hurt.

SPEAKER_05 1:59:11

I don't think he's worried that he would even do it. He's like, I know you're not gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:16

If you do hit me, I can hit you back then.

SPEAKER_05 1:59:18

Right. But he's like. Swag says, no thanks. I don't think violence is the answer. He offers to shake his hand and be friends. They shake hands, and Swag had the Steve Swaggart badge in his hand with the points facing up. I'm getting a memo here in my ear. The Steve Swaggart badge has been added back to the project shop.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:42

I'm taking it out. I'm taking it out from being lame.

SPEAKER_05 1:59:45

It's so lame.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:46

Why didn't you have a hand buzzer? When did you have a hand buzzer? You lose.

SPEAKER_05 1:59:50

I know. I thought that's what it was going to be. And like instead, that's kind of rude. Instead of a hand buzzer, it's it's metal sharp points in someone's hand.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:58

Yeah, it's a guy. That sucks. I got tetanus now.

unknown 2:00:02

Mr.

SPEAKER_05 2:00:02

Lujack should have smacked him. He should have just smacked him.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:05

Next week, Steve Swagger has to be killed. Follow him home.

SPEAKER_05 2:00:12

Swag hands the badge to Mr. Lujack's friend. Mary Sue and Dr. Parker are living together. Mary says, Mary thanks Julie. She makes a joke about being either his fiance or his patient, and they leave. Boy, that that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:29

I'm gonna guess not Oklahoma City.

SPEAKER_05 2:00:32

No, he's got a shady studio, like an efficiency apartment where like the kitchen's in this in the living room. Yeah. Like extended stay hotels, like monthly rate motels, just shady.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:44

He's got a laquintalise.

SPEAKER_05 2:00:47

Right. He's just he was doing telehealth before there was even telehealth. He's shady as as as the day is long. Isaac, Julian, gopher checked to see that nothing was stolen from them. It kind of made me laugh a little bit. That was funny. We're gonna wrap it up. Stubby and Doc are saying goodbye to Marshall and Natalie. Stubing tells Marshall that he can count on his big brother if he needs funds. I'm gonna be like, don't say that. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02 2:01:11

Plenty of money in the champagne bucket.

SPEAKER_05 2:01:13

Well, let me ask you something here. What what do you think Stubing's salary is?

SPEAKER_02 2:01:17

Well, we talked about it when Dick Van Patten was on, right? And did it was like maybe 70 grand or something? Like maybe. But the problem is here's your prompt too Stubing, you have a daughter. You need to save money for your daughter.

SPEAKER_05 2:01:31

Well, the thing is, you'd think he couldn't help but save money. You can't do like online shopping, and you're on your on the boat all the time.

unknown 2:01:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:01:40

You know, I think that has to cut down on bills.

SPEAKER_02 2:01:42

Unless Stacy took him to the cleaning.

SPEAKER_05 2:01:45

Wow. Stacy Skarsgard. Yeah. Marshall says he took a vow to love this woman, even if it means getting a job. What, what, what? Natalie says they'll have they still have three million dollars. Marshall says that he thought she was wiped out. Natalie says, where I come from, three million is wiped out. Oh, twist. We see Annette leaving with Milo. Milo says she's a Virgo with Libra rising. End of episode.

SPEAKER_02 2:02:17

Woo! Alright, totals and a recap. I have no idea. Yeah. Best episode is episode five, the Acapulco Steeplechase Classic. Worst episode was last week, which was the Wheezy as Lady Macbeth. It's very close for me. And I I didn't necessarily feel that way. I didn't feel that way the first time watching it. But if you just compare it to last week's episode, it has a lot of the same problems. Where nothing is awful. Nothing made me mad, right? It was a I think originally I was like, Mike, this is going to be one of the better bad episodes we've seen.

SPEAKER_05 2:03:03

It's not one of the better bad ones, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:06

It's just kind of boring, and they left a lot of meat on the bone with some of this stuff. I think better actors in certain spots would have really helped.

SPEAKER_05 2:03:16

Maybe.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:16

Um I think I think I can go either way, and I'm sure I'll change my mind before we get to it where it really matters, but I I actually think this is as bad as last week, at least.

SPEAKER_05 2:03:29

So I agree to a point. I would say I don't know. I still think last week was yeah. With you know, by by a nose was the worst episode. I agree. I don't I don't think it's super far behind it. I wouldn't put it in the conversation because I still think last week was significantly worse.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:54

And I think the difference is too, it's like the Lujack thing and Joan Van Ork were better. We liked Uncle Char. We liked Mel Stewart last week, right? We did love Mel Stewart, but that was there weren't as many of those.

SPEAKER_05 2:04:06

No.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:06

Yeah. I I'm I'm okay with it. We'll probably, I think probably just as we did earlier this season, we'll just carry both of them forward for now. Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_05 2:04:14

I agree.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:15

It tells me we'll have plenty other ones ahead to break the tie.

SPEAKER_05 2:04:19

Well, funny enough, when you know I I do look at the IMDB, I'm not looking for the rating when I'm on there, but I'm just looking for different facts or you know, it was, it was, it was 7.1. I don't know like one of the best, according to them, episodes of the season. We have one in two that's one of the highest rated episodes of the entire series. Like it's in the top ten.

SPEAKER_00 2:04:44

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 2:04:45

So interestingly enough, we've only seen two out of the of the top ten.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:51

Really?

SPEAKER_05 2:04:52

According to you know, compilation list. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:55

That's still interesting. I mean, whether we believe it or not, that's still I'm curious to see why people think that. Uh this is easy for me. Captain of the week.

SPEAKER_05 2:05:06

Uh I mean it it wasn't so much quantity as it was quality. For me, it's either Lujack or Joan Van Ark.

unknown 2:05:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:05:19

Joan Van Ark, just because of the acting. If I take the humor out, I I'm gonna with confidence say Joan Van Ark. I thought she had the best performance.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:28

I will say this the effort level, obviously, there, and then the fact that she really was acting with a terrible, terrible actor. Like just a just a wet paper bag.

SPEAKER_05 2:05:40

Well, and not a great script. It wasn't like the script was some, you know, it wasn't like the lines they but man, I'll tell you what, she made chicken salad. She really did.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:50

She left it all in the field. I'm looking forward to Knott's Landing or Falcon Crest when we do our primetime soap run. But yeah, that that was a especially when you compare it to what she was last season, just a wild, a wild difference in character, which I like. Like we always talk about Michelle Lee in those three episodes in the first season where like she was three completely different people, which is crazy, you know. So it's it's nice to do that.

SPEAKER_05 2:06:18

But but it also gets me excited about her next appearance because I'm seeing two completely different things, and now like I have Joan Van Arck in my you know, in my like a team crew of of of guest stars based on her these two performances.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:33

I know I don't disagree. I just great performance. I'm going with Lou Jack City and also his his fun relationship with the other guy who was funny. That was just really saved, really saved me, especially on the rewatch when I kind of knew what I was dealing with. I just I started, I laughed. I think it was when he did the clap thing when I was doing the rewatch test. My wife's like, You think that's funny? I was like, oh, it's so funny the only thing carrying this this up.

SPEAKER_05 2:07:01

It's even funnier on the rewatch, too, because it just stands out that much more. That Dr. Parker character was just I think that's yeah, the actor, the character, the whole ethics, anybody would have been better. Who was that guy that played the doctor before? The love doctor. Remember the the thing, and he had all the thing about remember you put the the censor. Remember that doctor?

SPEAKER_02 2:07:26

Uh Dick Martin.

SPEAKER_05 2:07:27

He would have been better than this. I mean, just this is a Dick Martin role right here, and this is not this guy would have been good.

SPEAKER_02 2:07:34

The guy who played Floyd Fosdick with Joan Van Arc last time.

SPEAKER_05 2:07:38

That's a good idea. Yeah, you know what? I could see that.

SPEAKER_02 2:07:41

Yeah. Or the guy that was in the stalker episode at the end of the season last year. Like any of those late 40s early 40s dark-haired soap opera actors would have been.

SPEAKER_05 2:07:51

But this guy just guy stunk. It's stunk. It stunk. It wasn't good. It wasn't good.

SPEAKER_02 2:07:57

Yeah, and and I'll just throw out the like I said, the going to the well a little too quickly. I hope I hope that's not the last time we see it, but I also hope that they have a little more patience for that than they did this time. They must have really they must have really gotten good feedback on the first one, and they should have. It was great, but this this one won't be.

SPEAKER_05 2:08:18

This is just and it further reinforces how bad the episode was. Because now the more I think about it, I'm like, I'm shooting that far off.

SPEAKER_02 2:08:26

You know, too. You shot your wad. Well, that was a pretty big swing to end up with a pretty meaty.

SPEAKER_05 2:08:31

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:08:34

That's totals in a recap for this week.

SPEAKER_05 2:08:36

Um, plugs, hidden season patreon, absolutely hammered. Whether you're cheering from the stands or tuning in from home, this is the podcast you need. Grab your favorite beverage and your Phillies Pride. Enjoy a weekly Phillies happy hour. With Chris Jones, Justin Clue, and our very own Mike Robertson. Check out Absolutely Hammered on the Hidden Season Patreon. The march to the playoffs begins, Mike. I'm all in. You can find our podcast anywhere you find your audio podcast, Spotify, iTunes, everywhere. Do us a favor, hit that subscribe button, leave us a review. We would we would love to leave us a like. Really goes a long way. I'm going to put a pin on the mailbag this week. I have some things I want to talk about next week, but I don't want to. We'll be here all night if I start opening the mailbag here. I did look ahead of the next episode, Mike.

SPEAKER_02 2:09:28

I only know a little bit, so.

SPEAKER_05 2:09:31

I don't know if you're going to know these two facts about the next episode. If you're a fan of Diagnosis Murder, well, that's a hell of a way to start.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:41

Sure is.

SPEAKER_05 2:09:42

And or a fan of half of the Smothers brothers. This is the episode for you.

SPEAKER_02 2:09:51

Well, I'm pretty sure we're not getting Dick Van Dyke's are we getting his kid?

SPEAKER_05 2:09:54

Is that the Yeah, the the the the non-Dick Van Dyke co-star of Diagnosis Murder? Not Jerry and Van Dyke either. Why would you split them up? Do we get the yo-yo one or we get the guitar one? Which one do we get?

SPEAKER_02 2:10:11

I think it was Tommy. Tommy's the yo-yo one.

SPEAKER_05 2:10:15

The older one, right?

unknown 2:10:17

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 2:10:17

He's the yo-yo guy, not the mustache.

SPEAKER_05 2:10:19

Yeah, I think the mustache guy's a guitar player and the other guy's the yo-yo, maybe.

unknown 2:10:22

I think you're right.

SPEAKER_05 2:10:23

But how are you gonna have a smothers? That's like having Rich Little on here without doing impressions.

SPEAKER_02 2:10:27

Like you think this is like when the rockers broke up?

SPEAKER_05 2:10:30

Do you think he kicked him to a barbershop window? God, I hope that's the opening scene at the taxi stand. That'd be great. Take out Tom Smithers or whichever one's not gonna make it.

SPEAKER_02 2:10:42

Oh, yeah, I can't can't wait for that. And then the one after that's Christmas, which is fun. But it is weird. We're not getting a lot of Christmas programming. That's probably the strike's fault.

SPEAKER_05 2:10:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:10:53

You know, that's disappointing.

SPEAKER_05 2:10:55

It is disappointing.

SPEAKER_02 2:10:57

But not as disappointing as this episode.

SPEAKER_05 2:11:00

Well, we did Mike, another one in the books, as we continue on the path to watching every love boat episode and discussing every left boat episode. So, until next time. Mike, thanks for joining me this week. It's always fun. And for our fans of Canada out there, we love you. We love you. And until next week. This is the worst. Here's the thing. We spend all this time talking about the love vote, the love vote, the love vote. And then it comes to the end, and we've just discussed everything in the world, and it's like, well shit, what are we you know what I mean? Like we just Here, you ready? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:11:42

Get the button ready.

SPEAKER_05 2:11:43

Alright, I'm ready.

SPEAKER_02 2:11:44

Thanks everybody for listening. We'll be back next week with one of the smothers and one of the van Dyks. Until next time. Thanks for listening, and we will be loo jack jack jack next week.