The Gift You Give Yourself: Forgiveness*

Forgiveness isn’t just for the one who wronged you—it’s a powerful gift you give yourself. In this message, Pastor Chris Teien shares how releasing past hurts opens the door to freedom, peace, and renewed relationships. Through Scripture like Ephesians 4:32 and Luke 6:35, you’ll see how God’s grace empowers you to let go and live free.

Link: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2285086/episodes/16335677

Key Points:

1. Forgive like God, who sets us free from sin (Romans 4:8; Hebrews 8:12).
2. Forgive one another and be free to move forward (Colossians 3:13; Matthew 18:21-22).
3. Unforgiveness is a trap that robs you of peace (Matthew 6:15; Ephesians 4:31-32).

Personal Stories from Pastor Chris:
 Pastor Chris shares stories of strained relationships and moments from his own life and marriage that highlight how forgiveness, even when difficult, restores connection and lifts heavy burdens.

Notable Quotes:

• “Forgiveness is like tearing up the IOU you’ve been holding over someone’s head.”
• “When God forgives, He chooses not to remember—it’s finished and forgotten.”
• “Unforgiveness doesn’t punish them; it chains you.”

Actionable Takeaways:

• Reflect on who you need to forgive and release them to God.
• Pray for strength to forgive, even when the hurt feels too deep.
• Let God’s grace shape how you treat others who have wronged you.
• Take a step to repair a strained relationship.

Scripture References:
 Ephesians 4:32; Romans 4:8; Hebrews 8:12; Colossians 3:13; Matthew 6:15; Luke 6:35; James 2:13.

Keywords:
 forgiveness, freedom, grace, letting go, mercy, relationships, Ephesians 4:32, Christian living, spiritual healing, peace

Challenge:
 Ask God to show you someone you need to forgive, and take a practical step to release that burden and live in freedom.

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Chris Teien, Pastor of Rockwell Church in Virginia, Minnesota, shares biblical preaching and practical encouragement through the WELL Faith Sermon Audio Podcast, along with occasional guest speakers.

New messages are shared every week to encourage you in your faith and help you apply God's Word to your life.

Learn more at ChrisTeien.com and Rockwell.church

Transcript

Chris T 0:00

We're gonna talk about forgiveness and how important that is. I have some people that I know pretty close that suffer with unforgiveness. So it's not my unforgiveness for them, but it's they can't come and stay in the relationship because they can't forgive themselves for the past. So I forgive and I would like to have a connection relationship with this person, but this person can't seem to see past the past and how I could forgive that person, so they stay away. And that is an unforgiveness mess. It's not anything that I created or that I did, but this person stays there, stays standoffish because they can't get over what the past was and their part in it. So forgiveness is like forgiving a debt. When people offend you, you could hold that over their head. Like if they say they borrowed $100 and they promised to pay it back and then they didn't pay it back. And so every time you see them, you think about that. You know, like I don't even need the hundred dollars, but it just bugs me so much that you are not even attempting to pay the hundred dollars, you haven't said anything about the hundred dollars. Where's my hundred dollars? Oh, there's my hundred dollars walking down the street. And you bought that? How could you do that when you owe me a hundred dollars? And so it just consumes you as this burden you carry around. It's like this IOU you carry around that just makes life difficult with a relationship. And so if they borrowed money and they just didn't seem to care, you would probably think, well, I'm not gonna let you borrow money again, and it really bugs me. And how can you be so dishonest? If for some reason they want we're gonna pay you back and they had some kind of financial tragedy and they needed that money for something else, and they can't pay you back, and you could see that, and you could say, you know what? I know that you borrowed a hundred bucks and you said you're gonna pay it back, and I know that you would, but I see the situation you're in and the difficulty of it, so I forgive you. Just forget it. Just don't you don't need to pay me back. We don't need to talk about it anymore. It's done. I forgive you, and it's all that's not, it's all done. It's all don't worry about it. It's all taken care of. It's no longer a burden on you, it's no longer a burden on them. They see you in the relationship, and the first thing they do when they see you coming down the hallway or down the street or whatever is, hey, how's it going, good friend? It's great, it's great to see you, as opposed to, oh shoot, I owe them a hundred bucks, and I just can't, I just can't, you know. But multiply that a hundred bucks, thousand bucks, some career advancement, something that they took, something that they did. Mutual freedom, where we can forgive one another, makes a huge difference. And I'm not really sure what your issue is, how you feel that you can't forgive a person, or how you can't forgive yourself, or the whole issues of forgiveness and unforgiveness. But let's just talk about that a bit today. But across the screen, we're gonna show some people are gonna hold up some signs of things that they were offended by, things that cause unforgiveness or they need to be forgiven by. Alright, so that was a lot of different things that you might not be able to go through something as hard as some of those things that are listed, and then just say, Oh, I forgive you. You know, I I have to God's word says I have to forgive you, so I forgive you, and then you just move on. One, it probably isn't very sincere. And two, sometimes forgiveness is a process. Sometimes it takes a while to come to that. Sometimes you need to get counseling, sometimes you need to get help to come to the point that you can forgive. And then reconciliation with that person, if it happens, is a second step, is something that may or may not happen, depending on what happened and what they did to you or what you did to them, and how in the world that can be fixed, repaired, taken care of. So Ephesians 4.32 says, instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you, as Christ has forgiven us. So if we have come into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ where we admit that we're a sinner and ask Christ to come into our life and to save us, and we want to follow after him, we realize that he died on the cross and rose again, we can be saved and forgiven of our sin. And there is no more condemnation, according to Romans 8.1, for those who are forgiven. John 3.16 talks about God loved the world so much he gave his only son that whoever believes in him would not perish but have eternal life. And if you skim down to, I think it's like verse 36, it talks about if you don't receive Christ as your Lord and Savior, that God's wrath still remains on you. So we talk about that all the time. We've got some New Testament Bibles back there that talk about that. But you need to be forgiven of your sin, and when you are, you're made right in Christ. You are made right with God, and it starts a new relationship. We need to forgive as God has forgiven us. And that is a hard thing to do. Can we forgive like God forgives us? Number one, forgive like God who sets us free from sin. Romans 4.8 says, What joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin. So God forgives, and God chooses not to remember anymore. God chooses not to bring it up anymore. When we truly forgive someone of something, it shouldn't come up in an argument again. So if you're a husband and wife and every husband and wife has arguments, I assume. Probably not. My 30th anniversary is coming up, and I wouldn't classify anything we've ever had as an argument. So just a discussion. Not really. My wife's about to fall off of her chair. I think she needs a Kleenex because she's crying laughing. Actually, for a pastor, the worst thing is when you're going to talk about marriage and marriage conflict, and then you have a great argument fight with your wife the night before, and you realize you're not even qualified to talk about it, but you have to stand up there and pretend like you have it all together. I read that in the book. Forgive, like God who sets us free from sin. So in the marital argument, if you have an argument or an issue and you choose to forgive each other, I'm sorry that was wrong. I shouldn't have done that. Please forgive me. Yes, I forgive you. Then next time you have a knockdown, drag out argument, you can't pull that one back out of the closet. So if it was forgiving, you don't get to say, well, back in 1988. Some people do that though. They pull stuff out of the closet. And God's not going to pull that stuff out of the closet because he chooses to forget the things that you have asked him to forgive, the things that he has forgiven. And if you keep feeling like you need to be forgiven, go back to the Lord in prayer, first talking to God. Say, God, I did this thing, and maybe these are the reasons why I did this thing, and it was wrong, and it was sin, and it would help me not to do it again, and please forgive me. And maybe write in a journal. On this day I ask God to forgive me. Because Satan comes along, he's the accuser, and he tries to bring it up. He tries to pull it out. He tries to pull it out of the closet and say, Oh, you think you're going to talk to those people about marriage? I know I've watched 30 years of your marriage, and I know some things that you did, and yeah, tries to pull that out. Or tries to tell you you're unworthy or you can't serve in that way. Pulls all these things out. You don't want to go back to your high school reunion because Satan's like, oh man, I remember what you did in high school, and so do they. Actually, they probably don't. But nonetheless, God forgives. God cares, God loves. Hebrews 8.12, God says, I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins. God doesn't forget, but he chooses to not remember your sins when they're covered by Jesus, when they are covered and taken care of, when they're cleansed, when they are wiped away. And then we can move forward in a right relationship with the Lord. Again, Romans 8.1, there's no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. Romans 7 talks about the struggle Paul has. He doesn't do the things he wants to do, he does the things he doesn't want to do, which is kind of like me when I started out eating healthy in the morning, and then by 9 o'clock it fell apart. So I say, I'll start. Actually, it usually is I'll start a new diet like tomorrow or next week. But after that guy, I don't even know what facts he has, but he's like, oh, the rapture's gonna happen on it been Saturday. So all September, I'm like, well, you know, if Jesus is coming back, it doesn't really matter what I eat. So anyway, so I'm gonna go on the post-Rapture Didn't Happen diet, maybe tomorrow, because yesterday was my grandson's birthday. Actually, I could still go today because I haven't had anything bad to eat yet, but you know it's coming. But anyway, forgive. You know what happens actually is you people don't eat all those cookies. So, and my loving son brings them home or whatever, and or brings them in the truck and says, Here, have some cookies. Yes, yes, okay, yes, son. I want to have a strong relationship with you, so let's commune with the cookies together. So, my wife's actually said, Hey, quit feeding your dad. Quit feeding him. Feel like one of the dogs. Quit feeding him. Don't give him table scraps, he's getting fat. Anyway, forgive like God, who sets us free from sin. So if you feel unforgiven by God, you're gonna shy away. If you feel unforgiven by your coworker, by your spouse, or whatever it is, you're not gonna want to have a close relationship with them. You're gonna try to stay out of the way, you're gonna try to avoid them at all costs. And Hebrews 4.16 says, When you're forgiven, let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. So because of Christ, even if we've messed up, even if we've done wrong, we can come boldly into God's presence and ask for help. Even if we're dirty, messed up, we know we caused the problem or the accident or whatever, we can come boldly because of Christ in our life. He forgives us, he helps us to go through. Now, there's the forgiveness of sin, the sin of yesterday, today, and tomorrow, but there's also the forgiveness of the sin that you've got going on now. And when you are enduring in sin, not confessing sin, not forgiving other people's sins against you, I think that can rob you of the blessing of God in your life. So God sets us free from sin. He wants us to come boldly into his presence. And he gives us his Holy Spirit to help us understand how we are to live and things that we need to change in our life. If you're not sure the things in your life that you need to change, or the things that you need to ask forgiveness for, or something that you need to forgive someone else for, pray. Ask, Holy Spirit, please show me the things in my life that I need to forgive others for, the person I need to talk to, the thing that I need to be forgiven for, and show me what that is so that I can live in peace with them and do what you tell me to do in your word, and that is to forgive others, to forgive one another. I'm not sure if it's because of something that I actually did or because of the position I hold as a pastor or what, but sometimes I find people, they're just mad at me. I don't, I have no idea what I did to get them mad at me. I can't think of anything that I did to be a to I don't know. Sometimes I just want to come up to them and say, hey, what is your problem? What did I do something to offend you? I don't know, I don't get it. So some people reject me because of Christ. Some people might reject me for my driving. I'm not really sure. I have that big I am second thing on the back of my car, which is a great ministry and everything, and it's great videos. And so I drive along and I try to be a Christian driver because I got this big old thing on the back of my truck. But sometimes I forget it's there, and people drive along and they'll be like beering towards me. I'm like, what are you doing, you crazy person? And what they're doing is they're like this. They're like trying to get their thumb out the window. It's like, dude, I like your truck. Or, you know, they're trying to take pictures or whatever. But but I have to remember that sometimes because sometimes I'm not a forgiving driver. So if I'm driving along and someone behind me is tailgating me, and then there's like, you know, they get up to a point where there's like a truck here, and they're like behind the semi-truck or whatever, and I'm in like the slow lane here, going the speed limit, and they're like boxed in, I'll just let them stay there and suffer. And I'll laugh and I'll go, you gave what you deserve. And God's judgment has come upon you. I'm righteous in doing this because I'm going the speed limit, and you're not, you tailgator. And then I then they come to church the next Sunday, and I'm like, oh no. Actually, someone in the church had a lot of unforgiveness and said, I went to that restaurant and that manager was crazy, and I'm never going back to that restaurant again. And oh no, they just walked in the door for church. Oh shoot. Anyway, it happens, but God forgives us of sin, and we need to be forgiven of sin. Now, God doesn't just forgive our sin debt because he's holy and righteous. And he could just say, Oh, don't worry about it. But Joshua Ryan Butler in Pursuing God wrote, Why can't God just forgive the debt of sin? If our creator was truly generous, couldn't he just move on without repayment? Live and let live. Here's the problem someone always eats the cost of sin. As a simple example, let's say your neighbor crashes his car through your fence. When you discover the shambles, you forgive him. Don't worry about the fence, all is forgiven. But forgiving your neighbor doesn't do away with the bill or dissolve the damage. It means you eat the cost. And then he talks about the housing crisis. Now consider a more complex example. During the U.S. housing crisis, shoddy banking practices, fat cat executives, and corporate corruption threw a sledgehammer in the global economy. Now imagine Jesus is installed in the aftermath as the new CEO of one of the massive corporations guilty for the crisis. The old CEO is out the door. A new boss is in town. Jesus is personally innocent. He wasn't behind the wheel when the ship got steered into the rocks, but there's still a huge debt. Bank of America alone owed people 17 billion. Someone had to pay the cost. Here's what actually happened. In the aftermath of the housing crisis, the banks were deemed too big to fail, and the government forgave the debt, covering the most expensive bailout of human history. Though the banking industry has caused massive damage, the debt was forgiven, but the debt didn't go away. Someone else covered it. In this case, the American people. Someone always eats the cost. At the cross, God was eating the cost of our sin. Why can't God just forgive the debt? This is what is happening at the cross. God is justly forgiving the debt by personally covering the cost. He says, I misspoke earlier when I said the White House gave Wall Street the most expensive bailout of human history. Actually, the most expensive bailout was when the father established his incarnate son as the new CEO of a corrupt corporation called Humanity Inc., and together, in the power of their spirit, they took upon themselves the most outrageous debt forgiveness plan the world has ever known. Number two, forgive one another and be free to move forward. Colossians 3 13 says, make allowance for each other's faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. So nobody here that I know of is perfect. I mean, some of you are pretty close. I'm not perfect at all. But it's my job to come up here and tell you the ways that I'm not perfect, so you can relate to me better. I don't even know if that's true, but I read that in a book. So they said you're supposed to be transparent with your people. It's like, alright. Legal department says I'm always supposed to say, I have a friend that did whatever. Not really, we don't have a legal department, but maybe we should. But nonetheless, forgive one another so we can move forward together. So we all make mistakes. I make mistakes, you make mistakes, and so we're quick to ask for forgiveness, we're quick to move forward, and we're quick to say, well, you know, you really messed that one up, but I know next time's gonna be better. So I bet you learned from your mistakes. Just like Miss Frizzle in the Magic School bus with her really cool earrings saying, Oh, what did we learn, class? You know, it's like, well, we know how to crash the bus and stay inside of a digestive system and not be able to get out. And we learned a lot. So that was the show a long time ago when my kids were little, to forgive and to move forward. And sometimes when you make a big mistake, you can ask the question, well, what did we learn? So many times we learn that we shouldn't do that. We shouldn't talk to that person that way, we shouldn't try to do these things because it just leads to trouble. Peter came to him, came to Jesus. He's being really generous because the rabbis they said, you know what, you should forgive people three times. Maybe that's where baseball, three strikes in your came from, was from the rabbis, but okay. Three times was the average the rabbis would say you should forgive someone. And Peter says to Jesus, hey, how often should we forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times? That's okay, that's twice as much, plus one. And Jesus, no, not seven times, but seventy times seven. So that's four hundred and ninety, which okay. You just did that again. That's four hundred and ninety-one, so that is the end of that. But no, it means infinitely. Keep forgiving. Now, obviously, you don't let people take advantage of you. If you're gonna let someone borrow $100 and they don't pay you back, you don't do that 491 times and say, I can't lend you money anymore. You can be wise, you don't have to be taken, but you can forgive people for those types of things, but you can also be wise in the way that you make choices. I love you, I know you have a need, I'm gonna pray for it, that God provides it, I don't have it for you, and that's okay. There is a medical condition that makes it impossible for a few people in the world to not be able to forgive. A few people in the world have HSAM, which is highly superior autobiographical memory, otherwise, it's called hypertymesia. So just a few people in the world have this and they can recall everything. So they can remember what they were doing in the past, like, oh, in 1996, on this day I was at the laundromat and this was playing on the radio. And so they can go through and they can remember all that stuff, which would really be cool, unless you're thinking about all the bad stuff that happened to you, all the stuff that you're reliving over and over again, all the stuff that you can't let go of. But fortunately, that is a medical condition that very few people have, and I don't think you have it. So I think that you can forgive and you can forget. Number three, foregoing forgiveness can be a self-destructive trap. Foregoing forgiveness can be a self-destructive trap. There's like warnings in scripture that are really scary, like Matthew 6.15 that says, if you refuse to forgive others, your father will not forgive your sins. Well, wait a second, I heard that if I placed my faith in Christ, that I would be saved from my sins, and that I couldn't, according to Ephesians 2.8.9, that I couldn't work my way into heaven, that I couldn't make it right on my own, that it was by his grace and mercy that I was forgiven. And now you're telling me that if I don't forgive somebody, that uh the deal, the contract is canceled. Bible scholars don't think that's exactly what it means. More of what it means is in your daily walk with God, as a Christ follower, as you are living with the Lord. If you want to live a right life, a blessed life, that you need to be forgiving as you are forgiven. That you need to do these things, like I said before, if you want to continue to be blessed and to move forward. Not forgiving people is a burden on you. Not forgiving people can tear you apart, can destroy your life. Not forgiving people can cause you to waste a lot of mental energy and anxieties and even can lead you to hate when you don't forgive people. And I know this is easy to say from here, and I don't know the things that people have done in your past to hurt you, but there can be some really terrible stuff. And I'm not saying that you have to go back and be that person's best friend, but you can forgive them, even if they don't ask for forgiveness. Sometimes you need to, if somebody's died, you need to forgive them. You need to talk it through and say, I forgive you for that, even if they're gone, I forgive and move forward. Ephesians 431 and 432, 432 says, Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. So that's what we're supposed to do instead of this other stuff in verse 31, which actually all of those things listed that I'm gonna read in just a second could be signs of unforgiveness, could be signs of things that are happening to you because you aren't forgiving. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Those things happen when you are not forgiving someone. Those things happen when you are angry at someone, you want to get revenge on someone, and those things are difficult. James 2.13, there will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you. God is going to judge us based on our faith in Christ, on our walk with Christ, and God is also going to judge our works, and God is going to reward us for the works that we did, for the things and the ways that we served him. And so as we go through life, we want to be merciful. We want to be kind and caring. When the Holy Spirit brings to mind things that we should do to help, to give, to share, to encourage, we should do those things. We should be merciful people, even when people don't deserve it. Even when people are not people that we ever want to hang around again, we should still show mercy and kindness when we can. You can do that at work, you can do that at school, you can do that in your neighborhood, you can do that in your family relationships. You can think about that as Christmas time is coming up, which for some is a great holiday, and for others, it is a time to remember all the family conflict and difficulties that you have endured over the years. Don't be misled, you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. So you reap what you sow. So reap mercy. Sow mercy. Luke 6.35 says, Love your enemies, do good to them, lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. You must be compassionate just as your father is compassionate. Luke 6.35. Just real quick in your outline. Somebody nicely came last Sunday and said, I really appreciate those fill-in-the-blanks. I thought about it, and I had three to start out with, and I'm like, you know what? I could probably ramp it up to like 15. Anyway, so this is from the biblical counseling manual. I just want to read these off. You can think about these things as I read them, but how to forgive. Again, so on your bulletin it says forgive, and so F. Forbid reoccurring thoughts of wrongs done to enter your mind. Forgive reoccurring thoughts of wrongs done to enter your mind. When I was a kid, I shared this before, I think, but when I was a kid, we lived in this like barren part of Colorado in the middle of nowhere, and there was a big farm gas tank, and my friend. Thought it would be cool to light a little gasoline on fire, and who doesn't like that kind of stuff? So we took the hose and we went on to the other side of the road and we put a little gas over there and dropped a match and just expected a little spot of the road to burn. And instead, I guess somebody must have spilled a lot of gas over the years because it just shot across the road and the whole tank went up in flames. I was terrified, so I thought, we'll just run away, but there's nowhere to run. So we went for a sprint on a really long driveway and realized that was irresponsible and we should fix it. So we got a garden hose and tried to put it out with water. You can't put out a gasoline fire with water, but it was a good attempt. We were trying to do what was right. And it burned, and so some adults came and thought we had done, and we got in trouble for it. And so anyway, I did this thing. It wasn't totally my fault. But what are you gonna do with somebody that did that? Am I a pyromaniac can never be trusted with a match again? So they needed to figure out how to forgive me. So forbid recurring thoughts of the wrongs done to enter your mind. So they needed to think about okay, I was never set the gas tank on fire before, and actually he said it wasn't him, but it was his friend, but he was still there. He probably should have said no. My concern that Sparky the firebug is gonna blow us up, is maybe something they could have thought. But forbid recurring thoughts and trust that people are most likely going to do right and do good and not do things again. Overcome the temptation to bring up the matter again. If you're forgiving somebody, don't bring it up all the time. So these people do not refer to me as Sparky the Firebug and do not always talk about the time that I almost blew up the fuel tank. Oh, by the way, the hose, the valve was off, so the hose burned. And so after the hose was done burning, then the fire stopped, and I got to pay for half a hose, which was a $120 hose. So I got to pay $60. And I was like 11 years old or something like that, which was actually a lot of money back then, so I had to work real hard to pay for a hose. Overcome the temptation to bring up the matter again. Repeat scripture in your mind. If you're a Christ follower and you want to forgive someone, you pull up all those scriptures that talk about forgiveness. You pull up all those scriptures that talk about the way that we're supposed to live and to forgive each other and how God has forgiven us and repeat them in our mind. And we need to give the situation to God. It's such a wise thing to say, God, this happened, this person did this at work, or this happened, and I'm not really sure what steps I should take, what action steps. Do I just do I just say it's okay, don't worry about it? Or do I say we need to take these steps to make sure this doesn't happen again? Or there needs to be some kind of discipline. God disciplines those whom he loves, it says in Hebrews. So what do I need to do? We give this situation to God and we intercede on behalf of our offender. We pray, we love, we pray for our enemies, we intercede, we ask God to like show us maybe why this happened or why this person would do this or how this happened. Was it truly their intention to hurt us or to damage something, or was it a mistake? We intercede on behalf of our offender, and we value what we can give rather than what you can receive. After that time, I never really played with gasoline and fire again. Not usually. Not that I can think of. So value what you can give rather than what you can receive. Anyway, these people help me to see that gasoline is flammable and we shouldn't do these things, and that when you damage something, you need to pay for it. And finally, extend God's grace, mercy, and forgiveness. But it's so awesome to be able to be that wise, mature person that shows God's grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Especially when people come along and say, I really messed up, that was so wrong, please forgive me. How are we ever going to be right again? And then there is honesty required for reconciliation, but I'm gonna save that for next week because I'm out of time. But there's a difference between being forgiven or forgiving people and then being reconciled. The difference between is one is that one person can forgive, one person can just do all their forgiveness and everything, but reconciliation takes two. And you have to evaluate are you gonna continue on in this relationship? Can you move forward with this person? What things would need to change for you to trust that person again? What things would need to be done so that you could move forward in a new relationship? And you might not ever forget. People say forgive and forget, but if someone has really hurt you, you're not gonna be able to forget that. But you might be able to move forward in a new relationship with this person and say, in your mind, that was the past and that they've changed and that's not gonna happen again, or that was the past and they've changed, and I don't think they're ever gonna do that again. All right, a prayer to forgive your offender. I'm gonna read the prayer. I got this out of the biblical counseling handbook. Actually, there's pages and pages of how to get help with forgiveness. And if you need a resource like that, I can help you. But here is a prayer to forgive an offender. Lord Jesus, thank you for caring about how much my heart has been hurt. You know the pain I have felt because of. List every offense. Right now I release all that pain into your hands. Thank you, Lord, for dying on the cross for me and extending your forgiveness to me. As an act of my will, I choose to forgive and fill in that person's name or names. Right now I move that person's name or names off my emotional hook to your hook. I refuse all thoughts of revenge. I trust that in your time and in your way you will deal with fill in the person's name or names as you see fit. And Lord, thank you for giving me your power to forgive so that I can be set free in your precious name I pray. Amen. Lord Jesus, I thank you that we can talk about forgiveness and that you have forgiven us. Lord, help us to be people that quickly forgive. Help us to have insight to know why somebody might not be treating us well or why they might not like us. Help us to know how we can be forgiving yet wise. Help us to know how we can move forward in relationship with people that maybe have done stuff to hurt us. Lord, give us, through the power of your Holy Spirit, boldness and courage and strength to do what's right in your eyes, to treat people better than they deserve for your glory and their good. Lord, we ask us in Jesus' name. Amen.