When Dads Live with Faith, Grace and Integrity

A father's greatest gift to his family is not success, wealth, or achievement. In this Father's Day message, Pastor Chris Teien explains how a life anchored in faith, strengthened by God's grace, and marked by integrity leaves a lasting spiritual legacy that can impact generations.

Proverbs reminds us that the children of the righteous are blessed through the example of a godly life. This message explores how trusting God through every stage of life, relying on His grace instead of our own strength, and consistently living with integrity help fathers and families flourish for God's glory.

In This Message:

1. Faith Anchors You Through Every Stage of Life

Life brings changing seasons, unexpected challenges, and difficult decisions. This message encourages fathers to trust God wholeheartedly, depend on His wisdom instead of the world's, and demonstrate a faith that gives stability and hope to the next generation. (Proverbs 3:5-6; Psalm 112:1-2)

2. Grace Strengthens You to Persevere and Lead Well

No father is perfect, but God's grace enables imperfect people to faithfully lead their families. This message explains how God's grace not only saves us through Jesus Christ but also teaches us to live self-controlled, godly lives that influence others for Christ. (Titus 2:11-14)

3. Avoid the Mistakes That Undermine Your Influence

Parents must guard against attitudes and actions that damage relationships. This message warns fathers not to exasperate their children, play favorites, or ignore sin, showing how grace and truth work together to build healthy families. (Ephesians 6:4; Genesis 37; 2 Samuel 13-15)

4. Integrity Leaves a Legacy Worth Following

Children learn far more from what they observe than from what they are told. This message encourages fathers to model genuine faith, consistent character, and humble obedience so their lives become an example that future generations will desire to follow. (Proverbs 20:7; Proverbs 22:6; Psalm 101:2)

Takeaway

Your greatest legacy will not be measured by what you owned or accomplished but by the faith you lived before your family. Trust Christ, depend on His grace, and faithfully model integrity so those who follow you will be drawn closer to Him.

Illustrations

• A young prince running into the king's throne room calling him "Daddy" illustrates the privilege believers have of approaching their heavenly Father.

• General Douglas MacArthur's reflections on fatherhood demonstrate that building a family leaves a greater legacy than earthly achievements.

• The poem "Just Like You" reminds parents that children are constantly watching and learning from their example.

Key Quotes

"Faith anchors you for every stage of life."

"Grace strengthens you to persevere and lead well."

"Integrity sets an example worth following."

Search Topics

Father's Day, Christian fatherhood, parenting, Proverbs 20, faith, grace, integrity, biblical parenting, family, Pastor Chris Teien

Full Episode & Transcript:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2285086/episodes/17341066

25.0615der

Helping you apply God's Word and follow Jesus in everyday life. Learn more at ChrisTeien.com and Rockwell.church  Find episode transcripts at Well.faith 

Transcript

Chris T 0:16

Often I just say happy Father's Day and I move on with the message. And sometimes we do special Father's and Mother's Day messages. The Mother's Day message was exactly, I think it was the exact same title. When moms live with faith, grace, and integrity. And so you could listen to that if you wanted to. And then dads, we want to talk to you. But if you're not a dad, if that doesn't really apply, this whole message could you could put your name on it. Every time I say dads, you know, basically you could insert your name. You know, there's some stereotypical male stuff here, but as far as living with faith, grace, and integrity, we would all do good to do that. We would all benefit from doing that. Now, when we talk about Father's Day and Mother's Day, we know that it is hard for those people who did not have a child, so they're not a dad. Um, or those people that don't have a dad, or those people who lost their dad, or those people who had a bad dad experience, or those dads who created the bad dad experience and have a lot of guilt, and just everywhere in between. But somehow the church needs to give some direction to what it means to be a godly father, a one with faith, grace, and integrity. And sometimes dads feel that they just don't measure up, that they they failed, so they can't move on. But by grace, you can keep moving forward, you can try to restore the relationship, you can try to pick up the pieces, whatever the age your children or grandchildren are, and try to make a difference. You can start today. There are lots of great resources, lots of great books, lots of things that you can read about fathering and grandparenting and all of those different things. And so I would encourage you, uh, whether you're a mother or a father, to be a student of parenting or grandparenting, or of kids. Maybe in a safe way, you can invest into the lives of kids that don't have a male role or a female role in their life, then that would be a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

To the fathers and all the men who care for us, to the grandfathers, the spiritual fathers, and the father figures, to the foster dads, the single dads, and the stepdads, to the mentors, friends, guardians and guides, to those who loved us, taught us and showed us the way. To those who carried us, held our hand and watched us grow. To those who experienced blessings, to those who went through lost, to the heroic men all around us, who wanted to thank you. Thank you for your courage, your kindness, and your faith in God. Thank you for taking us, coaching us, and walking with us through life. Thank you for joining us what it looks like to love and follow Jesus. Thank you for your prayers, your wisdom for never giving up on us. Thank you for boldly stepping up with eye and holy color. The long whether it's a day of collection, joy things.

Chris T 4:28

So fathers are expected to do certain things, at least in my life, it's the way that it's been. So I mow the lawn, and you know, I'm supposed to get the line straight and make sure it's correct. So I currently am in charge of grilling the meat. When I was when we had a young family, it was Julie's dad who grilled all the time. So um, and I'm supposed to know who wants well, medium, well, rare meat, and get it all perfect. So I'm supposed to be able to fix what's broken, uh, whether it's a leaky faucet, squeaky door, or the car. So I'm supposed to know how to use every tool, have lots of tools, know the difference between a Phillips screwdriver, a standard screwdriver, a torque screwdriver, and things that aren't screwdrivers that are just pointy things, like a punch. I'm supposed to know how to build stuff, the expert of IKEA furniture assembly. I'm supposed to be able to fix bikes and supposed to do all sorts of um repair stuff. I'm supposed to watch football and yell at the TV, like the team can hear me. I'm supposed to be involved in baseball, basketball, NASCAR, maybe soccer, maybe hunting. You know, if I'm involved in all of those things, when do I have time to do all the other dad things? I don't know. I'm supposed to be available, dads are supposed to be available for roadside emergencies. And if you don't know how to fix the car, you're expected to bring your wallet and fix it that way. And change the oil, lift heavy things, um, tell dad jokes, the cheesier the better. Always know the answer for every why, how, or what's that noise question. I'm supposed to be the protector of the home, the family, and the thermostat setting, and I'm also the protector of the light switch, things like that. But when we're thinking about dads, I wanted to share a few quotes and stories that I thought were uh helpful about dads. So um, being a dad that's approachable. There's a story told of a king who was in his throne room holding a council with his advisors, noblemen, and high ministers of state. Suddenly there was a bang and a clatter at the door of the throne room. All eyes turned as the door burst open, and a young boy ran into the room. One of the king's royal guardsmen tried to stop the boy. Hold on there, lad, he shouted. Don't you know you're disturbing the council of the king? And the boy said, He's your king, but he's my daddy. And the boy bounced into the open arms of his father, the king. I thought that was pretty cool. This one makes me want to cry. I'll try not to, though. What every boy wants, it may be hard on some fathers not to have a son, but it's so much harder on the boy not to have a father. General MacArthur, remember him? He said, By profession, I'm a soldier, and I take pride in that fact, but I am prouder, infinitely prouder to be a father. A soldier destroys in order to build, a father only builds, never destroys. The one has the potentialities of death, the other embodies creation of life, and while the hordes of death are mighty, the battalions of life are mightier still. It is my hope that my son, when I am gone, will remember me, not from the battle, but in the home, repeating with him our simple daily prayer, our Father who art in heaven. Paul Harvey said, Fathers are what we give, fathers are what give daughters away to other men who aren't nearly good enough, so they can have grandchildren that are smarter than anybody's. All right, Proverbs 27, 20 verse 7 says, The righteous lead a blameless life. The righteous lead blameless lives, blessed are their children after them. So this is a proverb, a wisdom saying. It's a powerful verse, a powerful picture. It shows reward for the children when the righteous, when righteous fathers, when righteous mothers, when righteous people lead blameless lives before them. So these are talking about people, uh dads, who are in a right relationship with God and others. They're morally upright, they're faithful, they're dependable, they're honest, they're right with Jesus. And it's not just what they do when people are looking, but it's who they are all the time. They lead blameless lives. They're committed to doing what honors God and blesses others. Blameless refers to integrity. A blameless life isn't perfect. It isn't sinless, but it's sincere. It means your private life matches your public life. A man who leads a blameless life doesn't wear a mask, and he's not one person at church and someone else at home. Blameless men admit they're wrong, seek forgiveness, and course correct when needed. They lead by example, not just by instruction. And what is the result of that? Their children are blessed. Their children are blessed. Blessed are their children after them. So that's where the impact is seen. So they see this righteous man and they know that he's dependable, and they can uh they receive a foundation of stability, safety, and spiritual direction. The father's integrity becomes their inheritance. And it's not always a material inheritance when it comes to dads and children, as much as it is the emotional, relational, and spiritual foundations. Children who grow up under the influence of a man of integrity are more likely to feel secure, confident, and loved. They've seen what it means to live with character and they carry that on with them. So that means that fathers and mothers, people should know that children watch. Children watch to see what you say, but how you also act. They watch to see uh when you're what happens when you get upset? What happens when you're driving and someone cuts you off? What happens when things don't go the way that you hoped they would go? What happens when you're pressed to give in to some temptation? How do you handle stress? How you speak, how you act when no one's looking. So you don't have to be the smartest dad, the richest dad, or the most successful dad, but you do need to be the one who shows what it means to live with integrity. And then the kids see your faith is real, and that is such a good thing. So the opposite of that is true, also, that if you don't live that way, your kids see it. Your kids might actually adopt those same attitudes that you have. Um, when we had the BBS parent gathering or the uh family night on Thursday, I shared for like, I don't know, nine minutes a parent pep talk, and you can actually watch that on YouTube. But one of the most important things is that as you invest, if things work out right, if God blesses in such a way, if you invest into your kids and teach them how to be a godly father and a godly or a godly mother and to have that integrity, hopefully they'll carry that on to their marriage and to their kids and to your grandkids. And what a delight for you to have grandkids in your house that are well raised and a delight to have in your home. I can only imagine what it might be like to have grandkids that have never been disciplined, who run out of control, who are terrors in grandma and grandpa's house because their parents have no clue on how to raise kids because the parents they had gave them no clue on how to raise kids. It's a problem sometimes when parents, parents don't learn about parenting. Parents just do what their defective parents did and they never break the chain and they never um correct that to make it right. And so they don't know how to parent, but it's very important to them to be that kid's best friend. So if they're the cool parent, if they feel uh that they are the the fun parent and the kids really like you because you do whatever they want. That's not really a good way to raise kids. That doesn't bring integrity, that doesn't bring self-discipline. So grace is at the center of all this, though. If you've messed up, there's grace. Uh grace brings salvation, grace brings us to Jesus, grace carries us through. So let's look at number one, faith anchors you for every stage of life. Faith anchors you for every stage of life. I'm sure when you look around this room, you see people that are in every stage of life. You see um kids that someday will grow up to be will someday grow up to be parents or teens that may soon get married, and they've got young parents and uh maturing parents and grandparents and um some people that are uh coming, they're in the fall of their years, and so they've experienced a lot of life. And I found repeatedly the best testimony is that through all of those stages of life, that God has been very good, that I have trusted the Lord and He has gotten us through. I've heard stories of people who have uh not known where their next meal was coming from in the depression, or wondering what was gonna happen during the war, or wondering what was gonna happen during the layoff or the shutdown or the bankruptcy or all those hard things and how God provided and how God got them through. Faith anchors you for every stage of life, faith in Christ. Proverbs 3, 5 and 6, trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, and all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. So trust is a wholehearted dependence, so not a partial belief or just your backup plan. It means choosing to rest your full weight on God's wisdom, not your own. So you read God's word, rightly interpreted, and you trust it to be true, and you invest your life in following God and God's ways. And that leads to a sense of security and confidence, like leaning into someone you know will hold you up. To lean not on your own understanding. So, what that means is don't look at what the world says for their philosophy, their godless philosophy, the way that they think that you should live. Don't listen to the lies of uh the media or the persuaders or the people that want to try to sell you into a different life apart from Christ, which is actually rooted in Satan's lies and his temptations as he tries to destroy your life and destroy your family and destroy your marriage and destroy your relationship with your kids and destroy your kids' future and destroy your grandkids, and so many of those things. But it says, in all of your ways, submit to God, and in all of your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight in all of your ways, in your work life, in your social life, in your marriage, in your parenting, in your financial decisions. Don't say, Oh, you know, this is this is Sunday me, and you know, God, I'm all for God on Sunday, and then Monday it switches, and then you live the rest of the week apart from the Lord, and then you switch back into Sunday mode or church mode, but in every arena of life, and in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. So he will make your route successful, he will help you to get to where you need to go, he will help get those big rocks out of the way, he will keep those things that are gonna trip you up out of your way. So when you think about it, Abraham in the Old Testament followed God without a map, just a promise. He didn't know where he was going, just by faith, he pursued God's desire, God's call to the promised land. So Joseph, the husband of Mary, obeyed God even when it didn't make sense. He almost set Mary aside and divorced her because she's pregnant and it wasn't him. And but the angel appeared in a dream a couple times. Take Mary as your wife, uh, get Jesus out of here, take him to Egypt. And Joseph was faithful in that. You know, in the Old Testament, it's interesting to me that Job, it says he prayed for his kids because he wasn't sure, you know, if they had fallen into some kind of sin or whatever while they were out. Maybe, maybe they were out partying or whatever. And so Job tried to intercede on their behalf and pray for and care for his kids. We should be interceders, intercessors. I'm making up words here. Psalm 122, verse 1. Praise the Lord. How joyful are those who fear the Lord and delight in obeying his commands. Their children will be successful everywhere, an entire generation of godly people will be blessed. And again, another psalm that connects the righteousness of the parents to the joy and the blessing of the children. And what a great thing. And so, as you are thinking about what you can do to invest in the life of the kids, uh, teach them how the Lord works in your life. Tell them your faith story, how you came to Christ and what your life has been like since you came to Christ, and all of that. Help them to know their spiritual heritage, help them to know how to follow the Lord. Go out of your way to try to find them opportunities to go to camp or to go to vacation Bible school or to do all those different things. Um, try to anticipate what your child or what your grandchild might want or need and see what you can do to deliver it with something spiritual. So even just giving them a gift and saying, I was thankful to the Lord, I was able to find this. I was praying that I might find something that fit. And you say it fits, praise God for that. You might seem weird in some of your grandkids' eyes if they don't grow up in a Christian home, but you might be the one that actually leads them to Christ in such a way that they want to be like their parents or their grandparents or that significant neighbor that helps them, helps them to grow. And those are all good things. So, again, it doesn't mean that you have to be perfect in every way because no one is, but it does mean by grace you keep moving forward and doing all that you can to live in such a way that God can use you to make a difference in the next generation. That can be such a gift, such a wonderful thing. It's good for a family, it's good for the church, it's good for society, and it can last for all eternity. And that is a pretty cool thing. Number two, grace strengthens you to persevere and lead well. Grace strengthens you to persevere and lead well. Sometimes we want to do things in our own strength, but through God's grace, we can be empowered by the Holy Spirit, we can be equipped to serve. God can bring people in our lives or influences in our lives or uh right now media videos in our life. That's our video service that you can access at rockwell.church forward slash right now. And watch those parenting videos and learn from others. You want to learn from the successes and the mistakes of other parents. You don't need to make your own mistakes and write your own book. It's much better if you learn from their mistakes and learn their strategies and be successful. In Titus 2, it says, For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age. So, you know, grace is more than just a concept. Grace is literally Jesus. Jesus is the grace that has come into our life. Jesus gave his life on the cross for us so that we could be made right in God's eye, so that we could be forgiven of the sin of the past and the sins of today and the sins of tomorrow, so that we can lead a life while we're here at this time to make a difference in the world, so that we can lead a life that is eternally significant, so that we can help turn children from darkness to the light. So many things. God gives grace, and grace teaches us to live in such a way that we're usable, teaches us to live in such a way that we are dependable and worthy of following self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age. Let me give you a quick three warnings. Three warnings. One, don't exasperate your children. Fathers, don't exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Exasperating, the quickest way to lose a child's heart is to provoke them to through your harshness, your constant correction, or your unrealistic expectations. Exasperation takes root when we are emotionally distant, reactive in anger, inconsistent in discipline, or overly focused on what's going wrong instead of what's right. So it's easy to get into constant coaching mode. It's easy to just keep telling the kid what they could do better and what they did wrong. But if you keep doing that and you never say, I'm proud of you, or I love you for who you are, or I'm so glad that you're mine, if you are going to always uh try to make that kid better by constantly railing on that kid for everything they do wrong, one day they might shut you out. And the day the kid no longer has any desire to listen to you, to respect you, to follow you, you're in trouble. So when the kid just does whatever they want because you're impossible to please, you're headed for a lot of trouble as a parent. And that kid's probably headed for a lot of trouble too. So, what you want is you want a kid that loves you so much that they don't want to get into trouble and they don't want to do wrong because they don't want to disappoint you because they love you so much and they know that you love them. And you want a kid that tries new things and knows if they fail that you are still gonna be there to support them and love them, maybe guide them into a different direction that they can be successful. B, don't play favorites. In Genesis 37, we see that Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other children because Joseph had been born to him in his old age. So one day Jacob had a special gift made for Joseph, a beautiful robe. But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest of them, and they couldn't say a kind word to him. Favoritism, it is not good. Now you may have different kids that have different um like skills, different aspirations. Uh, some may be better at something than another. So I knew one kid that was really into football and baseball, and another one who was into bowling and fishing. They were not into the same. I mean, one was on a bowling team, one liked to play football. And so if you're a parent that likes one of those things more than another, that could be bad. But instead, you look to see their gifts, you look to um encourage them for what they're doing. You try to look at the different kids or grandkids or the people uh that are in your life and their different gifts. I mean, we all have different spiritual gifts to do different things in the body of Christ, and so we should make sure that we don't play favorites because kids figure it out if you're playing favorites, and that can go bad for you too. Number, or C, C, don't ignore sin. Don't ignore sin. So let me recap 2 Samuel for a second here for a minute. Uh David's story shows what can go wrong when sin is ignored instead of controlled. As a father and a king, his silence and passivity led to tragedy in his family and division in his kingdom. In 2 Samuel 13, David's son Amnon does something deeply wrong to his half-sister Tamar. When David hears about it, he's angry, but does nothing. He doesn't correct Amnon or seek justice. His silence speaks volumes. Tamar's brother Absalom is furious. Two years later, he takes the matters into his own hands and has Amnon killed. After fleeing, Absalom, after fleeing, Absalom eventually returns to Jerusalem, but David avoids him. For two more years, they don't speak. That distance and resentment grow unchecked. By chapter 15, Absalom turns the hearts of the people against David and leads a full rebellion. David has to flee his own palace, betrayed by his own son. All of this began in one act of sin that David refused to address. And if you don't, if you don't correct sin, if you don't address sin and the kids think they either get away with it or it doesn't matter to you, or if it's just, you know, a strategy to get ahead, that's not going to go well for you or that child. That silence hurts relationships. Sometimes that rejection, sometimes that feeling that you don't care makes that child more rebellious, can leave wounds, confusion, and resentments. And so you can't heal what you don't address and what you don't face. Grace doesn't ignore sin, it confronts it, covers it, and can redeem what sin tried to destroy. Number three, integrity sets an example worth following. Integrity sets an example worth following. Now, as I'm talking about parenting and kids and everything, I always want to remind people that perfect parents and perfect parenting can result in terrible kids. So I've seen it happen before. You know, as far as I could tell, those parents did everything right, everything they could, and they ended up with some rebellious kids that caused a lot of trouble and heartache. But I've also seen, I've also seen some terrible parents, terrible parenting, everything about their parenting, you'd think that would destroy the kid, and the kids turned out perfect. So they were their survivors, they're they're able to endure, and they switched everything around, these kids, and they're raising their kids in such a way that honors God. Kind of a um one parent set the example worth following, and the kids are like, I want to raise my kids like mom and dad. And other kids are like, Oh, I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure I don't raise my kids like mom and dad. I'm gonna read every book and go to every parenting seminar and do everything I can to be an example worth following. Proverbs 22, 6 says, Train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it. So this is a general promise. It's not a guarantee. So this is the way that it usually works. This is the way that when you invest in a kid and teach them the ways of godliness and invest into their life and teach them biblical principles and how to apply them. Uh usually, even if they fall away for a bit, they usually return to it. Sometimes they don't, but usually this is the way that it works, and it is a great investment. It's not a true 100% formula for a success, but it is a great strategy, and we should pursue it. Psalm 101, verse 2 I will pay attention to the way of integrity. When will you come to me? I will live with a heart of integrity in my house. Did you know that research shows, I found this in Discipleship Journal, that if a father is an active believer in the church, there's a 75% chance of his children following in his steps and following Christ. But if only the mother is active in faith, that number drops to 15%. Fathers make a huge impact, a huge spiritual impact in life. So as I'm running out of time because we want to show you that video, I do want to read to you this. I don't know if it's a poem. I think it's a poem. It says, just like you, there are little eyes upon you, and they are watching night and day. There are little ears that quickly take in every word you say. There are little hands all eager to do everything you do, and a little boy who's dreaming of the day he'll be like you. You're the little fellow's idol. You're the wisest of the wise. In his little mind about you, no suspicions ever rise. He believes in you devoutly, holds that all you say and do. He will say and do in your way when he's growing up to be like you. There's a wide-eyed little fellow who believes you're always right, and his ears are always open, and he watches day and night. You are setting an example every day and all you do for the little boy who's waiting to grow up to be just like you. So this message isn't about do better or try harder. This message is about get close to Jesus, follow him, get into his word, let the Holy Spirit empower you and move you, confess those sins of the past, maybe get help and move forward, recommit your life today to walk in faith, grace, and integrity, and ask God to help you be the man or woman your family needs, and he will. Thank you. If you are a father who lived this way, if you're a dad who lived this way, thank your dad or honor his memory if he's not here anymore. And if your dad didn't, lean deeply into your heavenly father who is always faithful, always present, and full of grace. The world needs men of courage, of compassion, of character, and by God's amazing grace, that can be you.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

God, we thank you for the fathers, for the grandfathers, and for all the father figures, for the protectors and providers, for the heroes and leaders, for our mentors and friends. Today we ask you to bless them, to give them wisdom and patience, courage and kindness. We pray for all the sons and daughters, to honor their fathers, to remember their wisdom, and to cherish their love. We pray for the fatherless and for those who have brokenness with their father. Show them a father's love through your life. Today, we care for those who care for us.