How to Honor God’s Design for Marriage (Hebrews 13)

Marriage is more than a human tradition or legal arrangement. It is a covenant established by God and worthy of honor. In this message from Hebrews 13, Pastor Chris Teien explains God’s design for marriage and how Christians can uphold it with truth, love, and conviction.

Whether married, single, widowed, or preparing for marriage, every believer can honor God’s design. As we pursue purity, contentment, sacrificial love, and Christ-centered relationships, our lives can reflect God’s grace and point others toward Jesus.

IN THIS MESSAGE

#1 HONOR GOD’S DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE

Marriage is God’s idea rather than a human invention. Scripture describes marriage as a covenant between one man and one woman, designed for lifelong faithfulness and reflecting Christ’s love for His church. Every believer has a role in honoring and supporting biblical marriage. (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-6; Ephesians 5:25-33; Hebrews 13:4)

#2 GUARD MARRIAGE WITH PURITY AND CONTENTMENT

Healthy marriages require faithfulness, forgiveness, honest communication, sacrificial love, and mutual commitment. Married couples should intentionally protect and strengthen their relationship. Those who are single can honor God through purity and contentment while faithfully following His calling in their present season. (Proverbs 18:22; Ephesians 5:25-33; Hebrews 13:4-6)

#3 BUILD A CHRIST-CENTERED HOME

Strong marriages and healthy Christian homes can become testimonies of God’s grace to the next generation. Believers are called to follow godly examples, keep their attention fixed on Jesus, and build their relationships around His unchanging truth. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11; Hebrews 12:1-2; Hebrews 13:7-16)

Honor God’s design for marriage by pursuing faithfulness, purity, sacrificial love, and Christ-centered relationships. As believers follow God’s wisdom and extend His grace, their marriages, homes, and church families can display the transforming power of Jesus Christ.

SCRIPTURE

Primary passage: Hebrews 13:1-8

Supporting passages: Genesis 2:24; Proverbs 18:22; Matthew 19:4-6; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11; Ephesians 5:25-33; Hebrews 12:1-2; Hebrews 13:9-16

Transcript available at:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2285086/episodes/17880655

25.0921de

I hope this message helps you understand and apply God’s Word. Find sermon transcripts at Well.faith, learn more at ChrisTeien.com, or come visit us at Rockwell Church in Virginia, Minnesota. If this message encouraged you, I’d love to hear from you at wellfaith24@gmail.com.

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

Chris T 0:16

We're going to talk about marriage, and I wanted to just let you know that I don't want you to think about how you feel about culture and marriage, or the people that you know that might love each other that are not in a great marriage or a right type of marriage or whatever. I just want you to just listen to what God's Word has to say about this issue, and then you can think about it some more. But I want to read Hebrews 13, 1 through 8, and maybe 1 through 9 and 15 to 16. All right. Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing so, some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering. So this is kind of the context and what's being laid out here in Hebrews. So what do we have? We have brothers and sisters caring for one another. We have the importance of hospitality to the point that even you might be entertaining angels unaware. And then it talks about those who are in prison. Most likely they're in prison because of their faith, because they're being persecuted and suffering. So you're thinking about all that, and you're showing how you care for all that. And then it says, verse 4, marriage. Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. And then it talks about some other issues. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. For we say with confidence, the Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? Remember your leaders who spoke the word of God to you, consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Then verse 15. Through Jesus, therefore let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise, the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. So when I look at the context, if you circle marriage and then you look at everything around it, a lot of the marriage issues are covered in this passage here. So here this passage is saying that all of us, marriage should be honored by all. That means that all of us should be concerned and supportive of biblical marriage. And it talks about finances and it talks about loneliness, it talks about difficulty, it talks about overcoming fear and all of these different things. There's a life of worship, a life of praise, doing good to others. That's kind of the context of Hebrews 13 that I wanted to look at. And then I wanted to read our statement of faith, article number 14 on marriage, which is on the bottom of your bulletin. And this is what the church has had since the church, I believe, began. Or got together in 1977, I think. But here's what it says. And it's important to have this. So it's important to have this in our statement of faith, in our doctrinal statement. In case society, in case the government, in case the world ever wants to come against us and say we're discriminating, we can say, well, this has been our sincerely held religious practice and conviction for as long as we've been around. Here's what it says. We believe God's plan for human sexuality is to be expressed only within the context of marriage, that God created man and woman as unique biological persons made to complete each other. God instituted monogamous marriage between male and female as the foundation of the family and the basic structure of human society. For this reason, we believe that marriage is exclusively the union of one genetic male and one genetic female. So that is what the church has put in their statement of faith. And as I think about that, maybe you guys changed it, maybe you updated it over time to also talk about that genetic male and genetic female, because I'm pretty sure in 1977 people weren't thinking about that. Nobody said, Oh, we better put genetic in there. But nowadays, that's a big deal. All right, to follow God's blueprint for marriage. So this is an interesting day in the life of our country because one person who was very good at answering questions and entering into kind debates with people about some of their ideals, especially on college campuses, Charlie Kirk was able to, in a way, capture the eyes and ears of a lot of young people. A lot of young people who would listen to him, because he was answering the questions that they were being bombarded by all the time about sex and about marriage and about all of these different things, about traditional values that are constantly under attack, especially on a college campus. And it is surprising to me how many younger people, younger kids were tuned in to Charlie Kirk. And now there's this great movement among students to say that we're gonna we're gonna proclaim traditional values, we're gonna stand for what's right, we're gonna we're gonna carry that on. Because there's been a fear for a long time that makes students in schools and makes people at their work just want to sit down and be quiet and say, Well, I guess I can't say anything because I could lose my job, I can't push back. But now so many people are motivated to stand up and push back. Maybe there will be a revival, hopefully a spiritual revival where people turn to Jesus, but also of traditional values, of pursuing a good marriage, a real marriage, one that would honor God. So it is interesting that Charlie Kirk talked a lot about marriage, and maybe in a bit I might give a few quotes, but let's get back to this. Follow God's blueprint for marriage. So the marriage should be honored by all. So God is the one who defined marriage in the very beginning. So marriage should be honored by all. Think about that now. So if you're not married, how could you honor marriage? You could encourage marriage, you could encourage married people. If they are struggling with their young families, you could do maybe something to help. Maybe you could even help them financially. Maybe you could babysit kids so that they could go out on a date. If you are an employer and have an opportunity to set someone's paycheck, maybe you could make it so that your employee, if it's a guy, um, or yeah, could make enough money so his wife could stay at home with the kids and nurture the kids and train the children and raise the children. So many women want to do that, but they feel forced into the workplace. Now I know that there's also marriages where both work, and I've also known guys who stay at home with the kid while the wife works and all those different things. But I just want you to think about their traditional value and the way that it had been for so many years before and the good parts of it. So many times the kids do so much better when the mom is able to be at home with her kids instead of being latchkey kids, instead of being kids that are passed on from place to place, or kids that are neglected or pushed in front of TVs and screens and video games. Marriage should be honored by all. So just think about what could you do if you're not married to be honored. And also, if you're not married and you know someone else is, do everything you can to not get in the way of the relationship with the husband and the wife. Don't become the wife's best friend if you're a guy. I always say, whenever I talk to someone's wife, say hi to your husband for me, or try to always draw him in. But think about how you can honor marriage and stand for marriage. So in Genesis 2.24, it says this is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. So there's a separation. A man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife. So first he may have been loyal to his parents, but now he's loyal to his wife. And sometimes parents need to let go and say, okay, I need to let go and let my son or daughter be loyal to their spouse. So now the responsibility that God has given them in being married is letting those two work it out together, those two, not us as parents overseeing or we can answer questions, we can give advice, but it's their duty, it's their obligation, it's their choices. And we want to be caring and supporting of that. They separate and they bond, united with his wife, an act of your will. Bonding is a mental commitment to have a faithful, permanent relationship with your spouse, regardless of difficulties. They become one flesh, physical oneness, the consummation of sexual closeness. However, to achieve a lasting oneness, both of you should look for ways to bring pleasure to one another, openly ask what is pleasurable, and take the time to enjoy one another. So some of this is coming from the June hunt of marriage in trouble, counseling stuff. So intimacy, they felt no shame. And God's purpose for marriage is that they enter into a marriage covenant. The marital relationship affords you the awesome opportunity to showcase Christ's relationship to his bride, the church. In the same way that Christ sacrificially gave himself to the church, you and your mate should be willing to sacrifice your individual desires for the sake of your marriage covenant. Proverbs 18, 22 says, He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. Marriage is a good thing. Marriage is best when each, the husband and the wife do everything they can to make the other one happy. So if you want to be treated like a king, treat your life, treat your wife like a queen. So some say if I give 50% and they give 50%, it'll be 100%, it'll be good, right? It's like, no, give 100%, give 110%. Try to outdo each other because you love each other so much that can lead to a really great marriage. So even ask sometimes, what can I do? What could I do to do better, to be better in that marriage? I've got to do premarriage counseling and weddings for a lot of people over the years. And it's to statistically, the ones who went through the premarriage counseling are the ones who are still married today. The ones who had reason to get married at the last minute and said, Oh, I'm going on a trip, or I got this, you got to marry us right away. Those are the ones that the marriage didn't seem to last. Jesus talked about marriage, and we already looked at in Hebrews the same yesterday, today, and forever. But for this reason, Matthew 19, 5. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother to be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate. Sometimes people think that if they get into marriage, everything in their life is going to be perfect. They'll never be lonely again, they'll never have any issues, and everything will be great. And it doesn't always work that way often. It doesn't. And there's then the disappointment of marriage, sometimes the loneliness. Sometimes people think that they're going to marry this person and change them, and that doesn't usually work. We all change over time, but if there's certain character issues or certain character qualities, and you think that just because you marry them they're going to change, that's probably not true. So it doesn't always protect you from loneliness. It doesn't always help you to have better financial security. So many of those things. I always like to tell couples that want to get married or they're engaged or wanting to get engaged that you should prayerfully just share stuff from your past within reason and talk about your finances and talk about your bills and lay it out there and say, I really love you and care about you, but this is me, and this is all my baggage, or this is all my past, or this is all I'm dealing with right now. And they do the same thing, and you look at each other, and it's like, You still want to marry me? And that kind of commitment, that kind of commitment where you already talked about the past, if there's any skeletons that in the closet, your person that's gonna marry you already knows it's there, isn't taken by surprise, and maybe they say something like, I'm gonna be committed to you and faithful to you from this day forward to do what's right, to guide and provide and to care until death do us part, and through sickness and health and poverty and wealth and all of those different things. And that is a good way to live. However, just because you went through the marriage counseling and then you got married doesn't mean you're done in the school of marriage. It means that you keep learning, you keep growing, you keep reading books on marriage and parenting and finances, and then when you get really good at it, then you start to mentor others and you come alongside other young couples and you help them to experience that, find that faith to do that right thing, to get that advice, even if they didn't ask for it. When I first got married, my wife and I we moved into an apartment, and her mom came over and helped put stuff in the kitchen. And I had lived in an apartment before by myself. We didn't live together or anything, but we moved in to this apartment and then they went to the store. So I thought that it'd be a good idea for me to rearrange what they did in the kitchen. And that didn't go over very well. So I worked for two old guys who did construction. They were contractors. I worked for them, and they're like, You did what? And I told them, they're like, you need to let your wife set up the house any way that she wants. And so you can set up the garage when you get one or anything like that. But they're like, if she wants to put puppy dogs and kitties on the wall for pictures and have pink shower curtains, you let her do what she wants to do and you learn how to live with it. I'm like, okay. So that's actually pretty good advice. So pretty good advice for sure. All right. Marriage is more than just a commitment, more than just a covenant, more than just something to bond to others, to bond two people together. It is an illustration of how much Jesus loves us. And that says it says that in Ephesians chapter 5, verse 25. To husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word. Oops. Hello. I'm gonna keep going. I don't have the verse on there. And to verse 27, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body just as Christ does the church. For we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery, but I'm talking about Christ in the church. That love, that care, that respect, that type of stuff in marriage. It can change you. So I'm a proponent, I believe Charlie Kirk was too, of getting married young. So I think Charlie Kirk said something like, get married young and have as many kids as you can. That could be a good thing. But marriage changes you, marriage can make you a better person, marriage can help you to have a better life, to be more effective in life. On the other hand, not being married and having the gift of singleness and being able to go through life without being married is also a gift. And so you can read about that in 1 Corinthians chapter 7. I think 1 Corinthians 6 says it's better to marry than to burn with passion. But then 7 talks about get married. If you can go through life single, you can serve the Lord better, you can be more effective, you can be freer to do more things. Marriage can change you. Also, being pure and single can make a difference too. Gary Thomas, an author on marriage and the sacred marriage, said, What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy? So, what if marriage is something that makes you a better person? What if marriage is something that is going to increase your character, make you better than you ever were before? I'd have to say that not only did my wife complete me, but she makes me a better person in every way. She keeps me on task, she keeps me on schedule. Sometimes I push back, but she's not, she's not like authoritarian or whatever. She's just really good at helping, encourage. We encourage each other, and it is good. So Tim Keller wrote, marriage has the power to set the course of your life as a whole. If your marriage is strong, even if all the circumstances in your life around you are filled with trouble and weakness, it won't matter. You'll be able to move out into the world in strength. That can be good. That can be good. A good marriage can be a testimony of the love of Jesus. A good marriage can encourage other people around you. If you're able to speak into other people's lives about marriage, even if you're widowed, even if your loved spouse has passed, teach them the basic things about how to get along and how to care for one another, and how a husband really can love his wife, and how a wife really can respect and both there should be love and respect on both sides, but some have made the case that husbands really need to love and wives need to respect. That doesn't mean that husbands don't need to respect. It doesn't even just God made us, he knows how we are made, and he knows what is good for us. Here's some of the Charlie Kirk quotes on marriage. Especially young men. They want more. Saying, Stop being a boy and become a man. For Kirk, that meant going to church, getting married, and having children. Or marriage isn't just a life milestone, it's a calling. God didn't say wait until you feel ready. He said it isn't good. It is not good for a man to be alone. Get married young, be fruitful and multiply. And he said, having children is more important than having a good career. And I would also tell young ladies, you can always go back to your career later, that there is a window where you primarily should pursue marriage and have children. That is a beautiful thing. And husbands should do everything they can. A husband should do everything he can not to force his wife into the workplace. So you might not agree with that, but there are a bunch of young people that are all like, finally, somebody saying something that makes sense. Finally, all these people in these that are teaching us all these things over these years were saying, no, not that, no, not this, no, not traditional values, no. Do whatever you want, have whatever pronoun you want. Maybe you're a boy, maybe you're a girl, who knows? And Charlie Kirk was pushing back, saying, dude, God created us, male or female, that is it. And we struggle with a sinful fallen world, and sometimes things are broken. But to have a society that pushes people in the wrong way to do the wrong thing at the wrong time isn't gonna make things better. It's just gonna make things worse. Some of these young people who have been pushed into these sex changes, into these chemical changes or whatever, they didn't make them better. They didn't come off the other side and say, now I finally feel complete. Now there's a bunch of people that are like saying, Now I feel so messed up. Now I don't know what I am, and it just didn't work. I can't believe any doctor or any parent or anybody encouraged me to go through these things. Now my life is really a mess. And I tell you, if anybody shows up to this church in any of those conditions, we need to show love and grace and patience and let God work, let the Spirit work, let them be transformed and changed. There are so many people whose lives have been changed. Again, this isn't a Charlie Kirk memorial, but it's amazed me watching different YouTube videos that are popping up of young people who said, I listened to him, I heard him say this, and it changed me. It changed my attitude, it changed my thought, it changed all this. And I'm like, where were the parents? Why didn't the parents say this? Then I thought, I bet the parents did say that, but no one else was affirming it. No one else was saying, yeah, I believe that too. So they saw this guy who was good at debating, and he was talking, or they saw a video or whatever, and they're like, he believes what my parents or my grandparents did, or he's saying that this is a good idea, that God's word is true, and traditional values are good, and this makes so much more sense to me. It clears up the confusion. Again, Genesis 1.27, God created mankind in his own image. In the image of God, he created them, male and female. He created them. So there's all sorts of interesting things in the Bible that we could talk about for a while. But I think it's interesting that in the Old Testament, sometimes we have to figure out which part of the Old Testament law is for just their time, their culture, back then, those Hebrew people. And what's for us? What is for all time? And what can we apply to our life? Did you know in Deuteronomy 22 5 it says, God says, a woman must not wear men's clothing, nor Man wear women's clothing, for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this. So think about that. What is God's point in that? I think it's that God created us, male and female, and when you mix that, it creates confusion. It doesn't honor the design that God gave you. And there are so many psychological reasons why young kids feel like a girl might feel like she wants to be a tomboy, or a boy might feel like he wants to be a girl or whatever. And usually those are phases that pass over time if they're not encouraged, but to go through life, doing what's right, at least proclaiming what's true and right, saying, I don't agree with you. This is why, because the Bible says this, and I believe it to be true. And I in Deuteronomy 22, 5, it comes down to not the exact items, because now there's unisex clothing for different things you can get. You can get shoes now for men and women. They got sweatshirts and all sorts of different things. But it's like, what is the cultural norm for men and women in our culture? And to pursue that as right is what is normal, as what is acceptable. Our country prides itself on being free. You're able to be free to do whatever you want. But sometimes freedom goes too far and it influences people in the wrong way. And our country is really not free to do whatever you want. You can't do certain things that would cause harm or cause I mean, you can't even yell fire in a crowded theater. That would be fun. But it's not allowed. It's actually against the law. You could cause a lot of trouble. Romans 1 26 talks about people who are not doing the right things in the right roles, and God is not pleased. Romans 1 26. That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other, men did shameful things with other men. As a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved. The penalty, the separation from God, the difficulty. So many things go wrong in that. And if you want a country to grow, if you want a country to be successful, you will not have enough children to support the society as people go on. If you're pursuing homosexual relationships, if you're making abortion easy and free, all of these things that our country and our state think are such a wonderful thing to do are really making everything much worse than it could be. It's interesting that in 1 Corinthians 6, it says, Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin or who worship idols or commit adultery or male prostitutes or practice homosexuality or are thieves or greedy people or drunkards or abusive or cheat people, none of these will inherit the kingdom of God. So there's all sorts of people who fall into all sorts of sin. There are people that fall into sin temporarily. They slipped into it and they ask forgiveness and they turn from it and they walk right back out of it again. It doesn't identify them. It's not who they are, it's not who they are all the time. But people on this list, some people, that's where they are, that's where they stay, that's where they're happy to be. It's interesting that the list includes things that we would push back against and say, oh, that's terrible, and other things that are kind of social norms. You know, you got thieves, greedy people, and drunkards. People that cheat. You're like, oh, yeah, that's bad. But it's not as bad as some people say that in God's eyes, all sin is equal. Well, on the other hand, in God's eyes, he knows that certain sins will destroy your life a lot faster than others. And if we are just giving people, you know, blessings and saying, well, whatever you want to do, it doesn't really matter, that is not good for them. And it is not good for us. But I like verse 11 so much of what I just read. Some of you were once like that. Some of you were once like that, but you were cleansed, you were made holy, you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. Number two, guard marriage with purity and contentment. Guard marriage, God, guard, guard marriage with purity and contentment. The marriage bed. Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Married couples guard intimacy with honesty, forgiveness, and faithfulness. Put up boundaries where needed. Protect your marriage bed fiercely. Singles, if you're not married, pursue purity now. Your purity isn't just for a future spouse, it's an offering to God for widows, model holiness and mentor younger believers in a world that desperately needs examples of godly character. And as a church, we must present purity not as a list of rules, but as part of God's good and beautiful plan. I always try to tell young people to not get crazy and dating and think that you're actually going to meet the person you're going to marry in high school or whatever. But to focus on becoming the man or woman of God that you need to be so that God can bring that right person into your life at the right time when you're ready. And I think that's really good advice. I know that I could have met my wife earlier. We didn't live that far away from each other. She came and bought my parents' car, actually. That's how I wasn't even there. I heard good things from my stepmom about her and called her like a month later, said, You don't know me, but you bought my parents' car. Would you like to go out for dinner? And to my surprise, she said yes. And I had a list of everything I wanted in a wife and realized quickly that she was it. It wasn't too long after that we got married. And uh it's been a good thing. But to guard marriage, to care for marriage. No, marriage, a lot of times, uh, you can get into a lot of discussions and debates over money. And Hebrews 13, 5, keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God said, Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you, is so important when it comes to money to talk about money, to talk about the budget, to make sure that you plan the budget together, not by yourself. The husband doesn't go off and say, Okay, I plan to come back and say to his wife, hey wife, I made a budget for us. You get an allowance for $100 a month of whatever you want, and I get this, and all the bills are paid. Then she pushes back and she says, Well, that's not fair. But to get together and say, We gotta pay this, we gotta pay that, we only get this. What do we do? And to be in agreement on it together, to trust that God will help you to have what you need, to be content with what you have, and then to grow in that. It is a good thing. Hebrews 13:5, we say with confidence, the Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. You know, if you struggle in marriage, you can trust that God can help you. If you struggle because you're looking for somebody to marry, and you just know that you do not have the gift of singleness, you can pray for that, pray that through. Go through each day, worshiping the Lord, pursuing God, doing the right thing the right way. If you want to be married, prepare for that certain time and learn about marriage and learn about relationships and all of those things. We want to do everything we can to help you to grow in relationships and grow in marriage. I'm actually a prepare and enrich facilitator, which means that if you want to get married or you are married, you can take these inventory tests online and then it kicks back the results, and I can go over the results with you and show you areas that you're alike, areas that you're different, areas that you need to work on, areas that you can get help on and resources to help you to grow in marriage, because that is a good thing. So we want to pursue God and do right in marriage. We want to build homes that keep Christ at the center. We want to build homes that keep Christ at the center because Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and Jesus valued marriage back then, and he still values marriage the same way. Marriage and our relationships can honor Jesus. Verse 15, through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise, the fruit of lips that openly profess his name and don't forget to do good and share with others with such sacrifices. God is pleased. We do that in marriage when we care for one another, and then hopefully our marriage expands. Hopefully we have together we have husband, wife, family, and we look out into the world and say, How can we make an impact on those people around us? What can we do as a group that God has given us to make an impact, to serve in the church, to serve in the community, to be involved in things, to make sure that we don't just hide our faith off to ourselves and do our own things, but that we would pursue God and do what's right. So Hebrews 12:1 says, Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Your race may include being married. Your race may include you were married, and now you don't have anybody, you're a widow or a widower. Your race may include going through life being single. But do everything you can to run that race well and to glorify Jesus as we are fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith, for the joy set before him, he endured the cross, scorning at shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. When your life is spent and you have lived your life with someone else or by yourself, hopefully you'll have no regrets. Hopefully you'll you'll be able to say I did everything that I learned to do from scripture. As I was guided, as I was directed, I did the best that I could. Real quick, the next time we get together, we're gonna talk about I'm not okay, bringing our brokenness to Christ. But I want to show you something real quick before the worship team comes up here because we're not a church with a lot of staff, we don't have a ton of different classes, we don't have an opportunity to speak into your life in every area that you're in. There's people with young kids, there's people with grandkids, there's people newly married, there's people that have been married for a long time, there's people that have the greatest, happiest marriages that can't even imagine there is a marriage problem, and there's people that live in conflict, constant conflict in marriage. And that's why we maintain that right now media video service, because there's like thousands of videos on there. And if you search on marriage, you might find the help that you need. And I highly encourage, though, if you are going to go through that, that you was like say, hey, hey, husband, hey wife, hey, let's sit down and see if we can learn anything from this marriage stuff. And I strongly encourage you not to pause it and to say, you need to listen to this right here, because that's a little too much. But here's two minutes of highlights of what you could watch on right now media. So here goes. And then only pray, and then the worship team can come up after. Jesus, I pray that our heart would be your heart when it comes to marriage, when it comes to sexuality, when it comes to the way people interact with each other. Lord, I know that there's people that struggle with marriage and all their issues, and I pray that they just wouldn't reject this, but they would pray it through, that they would think it through, that you would help us to help them work it through. And Lord, that we would be a church full of great marriages and young people getting married and people having babies and families, and that you would just do a new thing in a new season among us, because it's what we truly desire. And we pray that if bad things have happened in the past, that there could be forgiveness, that there could be restoration, and that new things could happen. So we just commit all this to you. If anybody here is, they don't know you as our Lord and Savior, they don't know what we're talking about when it comes to faith. I pray that they would talk to me so I could guide them and direct them down that path in Jesus' name. All right, so let's watch this.

SPEAKER_01 34:52

Have you ever had a conflict with your spouse and you saw their spirit deflate? I like to ask the question what is the issue when the issue isn't the issue? What happens when a wife feels unloved? She reacts in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. What happens when a husband feels disrespectful? He reacts in ways that feel unloving to her. And I called it the crazy cycle.

SPEAKER_04 35:13

If I'm feeling hurt, I just spit it all out there.

SPEAKER_03 35:17

My natural reaction is to attack back.

SPEAKER_05 35:20

Marriage was just hard right from the beginning.

SPEAKER_01 35:23

Conflict for us was continual. That doesn't mean that every time we got together there was a fight. Sometimes you wouldn't know there's a problem. Do you get on that crazy cycle? It's the lack of love, it's the lack of respect, it's that sense of hostility, it's the sense of contempt that keeps you spinning and causes the relationship eventually to fail. This series is gonna answer the question: what is that issue? What is the issue? Isn't the issue?

SPEAKER_05 35:50

I expected to have a husband who would cook and be clean and lead up spiritually and always be patient and be kind.

SPEAKER_03 36:04

I just had this idea.

SPEAKER_05 36:05

We be best friend, we have to do that.

SPEAKER_03 36:15

You always want to make it a few love.