Staying Mentally Healthy While Live Streaming w/ Kai Kasim AKA LifeWithLaughs

In this episode of The Wavelength podcast, host Dr. Sarah Adler interviews Twitch streamer Kai Kassim (username: LifeWithLaughs). They discuss Kai's experiences as a content creator, including the freedom but also difficulties that come with live streaming for a living.

Topics covered:

• What live streaming is and why Kai got into it
• The mental health toll of being a streamer - dealing with burnout, lack of vacation time, always needing to be "on"
• How COVID negatively impacted streamers who rely on in-person conventions and events
• Kai's involvement in the Pokemon Professor program to connect more locally and foster competition and sportsmanship in kids
• The differences between generations and why we should be kind to each other

Kai offers advice on taking care of your mental health, emphasizing that you have to make yourself a priority and reach out to people who care about you. She radiates positivity and encourages building community.

Transcript

Sarah Adler:
Hi everyone and welcome to the Wavelength, the mental health podcast designed for digital natives and those who are perplexed by them. In each episode, we explore themes, trends, innovations, and all the other things shaping how today's tech-immersed generations take care of their mental health. I am your host, Dr. Sarah Adler, clinical psychologist, Stanford professor, and entrepreneur. And our guest for today is the amazing Kai Kassim. Welcome Kai.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Hi! Yay! Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited and also slightly nervous.

Sarah Adler:
I totally understand. I'm slightly nervous too, and we will get through it together and you're gonna be great and you're always great. So, um, Kai is a Twitch streamer and her handle is handle the right way to say is life with laughs. It's not handle. Is it? What is it? Tell us tell us you

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
I guess,

Sarah Adler:
told me.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
okay, yeah, I'm a Twitch streamer, which means I livestream on a platform called Twitch, which is basically primarily a gaming platform, but you can do a lot of other content. I've done a lot of other content. They have other categories like IRL, or you can stream like going to different countries and walking around or trying food or doing art, things like that, but primarily it's a gaming platform. I guess my username, or you can say handle, I guess, is Life with Laughs, yeah.

Sarah Adler:
Like if you want to check out Kai on Twitch, it is Life with Laughs. And I'm guessing, I don't use Twitch, but I'm guessing you can just like put that in the search and you'll come up.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yep, exactly.

Sarah Adler:
Okay, so, um, one of the things that we do is sort of an icebreaker on this podcast. I'm like, one of the things we do on our third episode, this is only episode three, but it's

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Okay?

Sarah Adler:
become a thing,

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah.

Sarah Adler:
is we do two truths and a lie. Have you ever played that game before? Yeah.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah, definitely.

Sarah Adler:
We're going to do two truths and a lie. And I'm going to guess which one is the lie.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Okay, I'm a really bad liar, but for some reason, this game I can usually succeed.

Sarah Adler:
Ooh, challenge accepted.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Okay, I'll try to come up with live streaming related ones, but maybe I'll throw a real life one in there. Okay, number one, I have live streamed from the White House. Okay, number two, I've live streamed in every continent except Antarctica. And then number three, what I got for my fourth birthday was actually a brother. My brother and I share the same birthday, exactly.

Sarah Adler:
Okay, um, I feel like one is probably true. I feel like two is almost too specific to be true. So you probably have like live streamed from every continent except two or something like that. And then I'm guessing that three, I think three is probably true, except it could be like your third birthday or your fifth birthday or something like that. But I'm gonna go with two is the lie.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
You got it. I've only live streamed from North America and Asia, Japan and California and Florida, I guess. It was

Sarah Adler:
Only

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
to North America.

Sarah Adler:
those are like that's

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah,

Sarah Adler:
a ton of places.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
that's a tricky one if people know me because I grew up in like three different countries. So like they could guess, but yeah, I haven't had the opportunity to stream from Africa or Oceania or Europe or anything. I don't even know if it would be possible to do it from Antarctica, but. I decided to take that one out. But yeah,

Sarah Adler:
Okay, thank

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
you

Sarah Adler:
you.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
got it.

Sarah Adler:
Thank you. Thank you for playing with me. I sort of like I think I do this because I love I'm like Oh, I think I can use my psychology skills to tell and my deductive

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah, you got it.

Sarah Adler:
So I'm happy I'm like, yay Okay. So first of all tell us for those of you because I again our sort of tagline is Is Gen Z or not Gen Z digital natives? And those who are perplexed by them. So for those listeners who may not know Tell us about what live streaming is and why you got into it.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Okay, so live streaming is basically, essentially you're an entertainer and you're doing it live. So you kind of have a lot, like I guess the perks of the job would be that you have a lot of freedom and like, you know, you can put whatever creativity you want into it. You can kind of control a lot of aspects of like what you want, like your brand to be, the background, the content, the camera angles, like everything. Um, so that's like really fun, but the hard part of it is that you are the producer and the director and you have to come up with everything and set everything up. You have to solve all the tech problems. Um, like there's, there's a lot of like, I guess, technical barriers, like technical education that needs to be done to live stream, like smoothly having the correct, like internet, like levels and things like that. Uh, and then you have to actually have the content. So it's a lot. in the job, I guess, but it's a lot of fun because like I said, you have a lot of freedom and the coolest thing about it that I guess makes it different from other traditional media type things is that you have this direct line to your audience and you're communicating with them live. So you see the chat live, you can have a direct conversation with a specific person, you could answer specific questions. So people get to interact with you as you're making that content. So that's just super fun. You can involve them. Like specifically, you can have polls, like, what should I do next in this game? Or, uh, like they can be invested in like, if we reach this goal or if I beat this level or something, then I'll stream in a onesie of this character, like next stream. And everybody wants to see that. So they're motivating you and they're, they're invested in it. And they feel like they have like a stake in it and they're part of it. And I think it provides like a really good opportunity for the community to become friends with each other too, uh, because it's live. So they're talking to you. at the same time as other fans are talking to you and sometimes they'll start talking to each other. And I think

Sarah Adler:
So

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
that.

Sarah Adler:
was that your initial goal when you first started doing this? Were you thinking to yourself, I really wanna create community, this is something that I'm psyched about, or was kind of a byproduct?

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Um, well, initially I've liked, I've enjoyed content creation since I was super little. Like, I guess I'm part of that generation where I had access to like YouTube and stuff in middle school, but my parents didn't have that stuff.

Sarah Adler:
Yeah.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
So, uh, I was so inspired by like other, I guess they were at that time, probably young adults making content, but they seemed really young and like, they're just making their own content. It's not like produced by like a huge thing and they're just having fun and they're doing stuff. And I'm like, that's so inspiring. It's so awesome. And like, I want to make content and put it out there so other kids can watch it and like see it. And it's so cool. And I would like take like, or any video camera I could get and make all these videos. I would spend so much time at my friend's houses who had like editing software on computers and like spend so long editing. So I always had this desire to like share this stuff to inspire people like that they could connect with and just enjoy and be happy about. So that's actually originally like where it came from. But when I got older, like live streaming was something I got into. I really wanted to have like positive, optimistic, kind of wholesome take on playing games and people could feel like they were playing the game with me. And communities kind of started happening, like naturally, organically, like through that. And then eventually I'm like, oh, I want this community to be there and have a place to come to after work. And it became important to foster that community. And I've actually had viewers who met through my community that got married. I've had, yeah, I've had lives, people like live stream to me viewers that are like, we're at our wedding right now and we just wanted to say hi, like that kind of thing. So the community can become like really serious and really vague and like have like impact. So

Sarah Adler:
That's incredible!

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
I wasn't originally, my goal was originally to make people happy. So yeah, sorry.

Sarah Adler:
So that's really truly amazing. And I was actually gonna ask you about kind of how being a streamer and being a creator impacts your mental health, but it sounds like you are actually having a positive impact on others' mental health.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah, I think that watching content growing up had a positive impact on me.

Sarah Adler:
Yeah.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
I know a lot of people talk about social media having a negative impact because it puts pressure on people, like unrealistic pressure, like Instagram kind of things. But for me, that's not really what it was. I saw the content that YouTubers and people would make and I thought it was so cool that they could make stuff. And I think making stuff was so cool. So that's how I originally got into it, was that I just make it out of passion. It was just a hobby that I really loved. And then it just kind of took off from there. And I still am the same person that like, I wanna share things I love with other people and I want them to have the excitement and the fun that like I get from it. So that's like where it came from originally.

Sarah Adler:
Were you supported? I mean, at what point did you decide to make this a career? And was that something that you thought you were gonna do? Is that, was that like family

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Uh...

Sarah Adler:
expectations? Were like, oh, this is a career that is totally fine for Kai to go down and.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah, no, definitely not. Especially since like, well, my parents in particular were very, so I went to college, like when there was like a recession happening and I'm like, my parents are immigrants. So they, at that, suddenly at that stage, they put a lot of pressure on me to like, you have to be a doctor. Like that's what other smart Asians do, they're doctors, so you gotta be a doctor. And like, it's all of a sudden, so like my whole life, I was not planning on being a doctor. And now suddenly while I'm in college, they're like, you can't be any major that isn't science related and you have to do this. So it was like stressful, although I love psychology and that's what I ended up majoring in. I probably would have become a psychologist or like a teacher. I was especially interested in American Sign Language. I wanted to be like a teacher at a deaf school or like something like that. They were not having it. While I was studying, I was making content and I was live streaming like every day after school kind of thing. And then that just took off and I guess it started getting to the point where I could make a living off of it. And I just transitioned to that. And my parents, because I was like able to support myself, they were like, okay, I guess you're doing this but they never really like approved of it. My dad unfortunately passed away a few years

Sarah Adler:
Cool.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
into my streaming career. And to that day, he never really knew what I was doing and he always called it Skyping because he knew I was

Sarah Adler:
I'm

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
online

Sarah Adler:
sorry.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
and at that time Skype was a thing. So like I don't think he ever really understood what I did. Yeah

Sarah Adler:
That's so sweet.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
I think now it's a lot more like reasonable to understand that this can be a career. But a lot of people are also really aware of like mental health toll that it takes to be a content creator. It is hard. It's not an easy thing to do like long term. even if you're really successful for a couple years, that's when I have money for you to live the rest of your life. So people look at content critters, yeah.

Sarah Adler:
I'm so sorry to interrupt you. Tell me a little bit about that. What are

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Oh,

Sarah Adler:
the impact?

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
it's like all

Sarah Adler:
How does

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
up

Sarah Adler:
it affect

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
and down.

Sarah Adler:
you? Yeah.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
For me, I'm still living in the moment and having fun that I'm not thinking, I'm not stressing, I'm really grateful that like, oh, I'm getting to do this, that I'm not thinking like 10 years down the road, how am I gonna support myself? Am I still gonna be able to do this? Because how it started was it was just an opportunity that it took, so I'm just thinking, there'll be another opportunity and I'll take it at that point, I guess. So it's hard to think of in a long-term. like, especially since I'm like from that first generation of like, like people who made you can't really look at people and be like, oh, and then you transition to becoming like a life coach or an advisor for social media people. And then you become this and then you because there's nobody we can look at really. That's at that like stage in their career. I think now we're starting to see like different routes that you can take. But even then it evolves so much like what a blogger was like. 10 years ago is probably totally different from what it is today. So.

Sarah Adler:
So how do you, what are, what, you mentioned that being a streamer, being a content creator does take, can take a toll on your mental health and what kinds of things impact that? Like what do you notice? What are the things about this particular career? Maybe different from the mental health issues that folks who are in a traditional corporate environment sort of see, like what about it is hard? What about it is, what do you have to look out for?

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Um, I think that a lot of people know this phrase, that this is what happens, it's burnout. It's like a common thing that happens, I think in other creative professions as well. But I, like the thing that makes the burnout in this career different from other jobs is that when you're really burnt out, you know, you need to take some time off, right? You take your vacation time or whatever, but you don't have vacation time when you're just running everything yourself. There's no healthcare or like anything you have to figure everything out yourself, right? So you're hesitant taking time off because like if you do then you're not there for people and you're like As a street live streamer, you're their place. They go after work or you're like their second home kind of thing They're like looking forward to that. So, you know, it's really hard to stop because then you're I Don't really look at the numbers But I know that it affects people that like oh my viewership is gonna go down and when I start back again I have to like start all over again, you know? So there's that like psychological toll, which is it's not healthy to think like that, but that's a piece of it. The other piece is that it's just not a job where you can show up and just take it easy for the day because you always have to be that personality. Like you can't just come in and just be like, you know, today I'm just gonna take it easy and let like everybody else kind of run the meeting or let them be on camera today. And I'll just kind of help with the background stuff. No, you are the camera, you're the person on camera. You're the only one who can do it. Nobody can take your place. Like, so that's

Sarah Adler:
Well,

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
the hard part.

Sarah Adler:
it's really hard. I mean, you're always on, you're completely responsible for every single thing that is happening. And really fascinatingly interesting what you're saying is that you actually feel a tremendous responsibility to your community

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yes.

Sarah Adler:
because we're getting something from you. It's not,

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah.

Sarah Adler:
that takes a toll.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah, it does. I think you put a lot of social energy into being content creator and it's hard to recharge your batteries and even when you're not live, you're editing, you're like thinking of like the next you're preparing the next like thing that you need to do if there's a game coming out you need to like decide what are like your overlays gonna look like, like what goals are you gonna have? You have to talk to your moderators because it's a live stream. So like there's going to be moderators that you work with to moderate the chat, to make sure that, you know, it's like on brand and, uh, you know, it's an orderly and stuff. So you have to work with them. Uh, there's just so much to do off stream too, that like, it's just hard. People don't

Sarah Adler:
What do

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
understand.

Sarah Adler:
you? So what do you know? I'm the guy I don't understand. I'm really actually grateful to be hearing all of this. It is a really hard work. And then you're expected to show up and be your highly energetic, optimistic, amazing. Okay,

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah.

Sarah Adler:
so I'm gonna ask you a question. I hope you're comfortable answering it. But like, what do you do if you're having a really crappy day, and you're in a bad mood, and you have to kind of like show up and what do you

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
I

Sarah Adler:
do?

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
think that every streamer kind of like, especially if they're regular live streamers, their online persona has a very large base that shares, that is their natural personality. So if somebody is having a hard day and their personality is a little bit funny, maybe they might be like, just openly honest, like I'm having a bad day today, and then they're just play their character a little bit more silly or like, you know. I am very like genuine and stuff. So if- I guess if I'm having a hard day, I will cheer myself up and then start the stream because I don't want to bring people down. Like, yeah,

Sarah Adler:
Yeah. And you

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
so.

Sarah Adler:
think if you were not happy all the time, you might bring other people down.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Oh yeah, I don't want to bring people down.

Sarah Adler:
No.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
I want them to be happy.

Sarah Adler:
Yeah.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Cause that's originally like my personal thing is like, I want people to be having fun. Like they want, I wanted them to see me having fun and then they get to have fun. Like I think the best thing is when you're watching a content creator and you're like, I want to be their friend. And then like by consuming the content and by interacting in the chat and stuff, you feel like you are their friend. And I want my community to feel like they are my friend. Like I see them like that. Like if something I did made them laugh or smile. Like, I'm laughing with them, like, you know, so.

Sarah Adler:
So is that in some days I imagine that's just harder than others?

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah, I guess it's harder. It's hard when like, if I have to take a day off or something, or if I take a week off, God forbid, and then I come back and then somebody's like, you've been gone, you weren't there, you missed my birthday or something. And it's like, they wanted to have my stream on during their birthday. It just makes me feel like

Sarah Adler:
So

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
it's hard. Yeah.

Sarah Adler:
do you okay? I'm gonna ask you a provocative question. Um, do you think there's value in? Do you think there's any value in you Being in a bet like to say like I am, you know what today isn't so today I mean I am having a bad day, but like tomorrow will be okay. I'm

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
That's

Sarah Adler:
just

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
really good actually, because that's like leading by example, because bad days are normal, everybody has them, right? So like showing people a good way of how to handle it, which is accepting it, and like letting yourself feel that feeling, and then saying that, you know, I'm being optimistic about the future, that would be awesome. It's a little hard with livestream, because you'll be asked the same question over and over and over. Because people are tuning in at different times and then talking about the same thing over and over is really hard. So if you introduce something negative, it will be brought up over and over and over for the rest of the duration of the entire stream. So it's a little tricky.

Sarah Adler:
That's really, I did not think of that. Because I know I definitely will tell people, when I start a meeting, if I'm having a rough time, I will make sure my team knows it. In fact, we do a check-in. Hey, where are

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah,

Sarah Adler:
you?

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
yeah,

Sarah Adler:
But that's static in time

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
that's

Sarah Adler:
and the meeting

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
awesome.

Sarah Adler:
is going to be over in 30 minutes. And so it's not useful if someone was, it's like, and then I have to redo it at the next meeting. And then the next meeting,

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah.

Sarah Adler:
and the next meeting, I can see how the sort of... the timeline of the stream makes that super tricky because you also don't want people coming in and being like, Wheat, are you okay? What's going on? Wheat,

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Exactly,

Sarah Adler:
I was in

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
exactly.

Sarah Adler:
a bad mood today.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah.

Sarah Adler:
Yeah, I see

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Or

Sarah Adler:
that.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
like, you know, your viewers will try to be helpful and they'll answer questions on your behalf and you can't stop that. So like

Sarah Adler:
and

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
they might not say it in the positive way that you are introducing the topic, which is

Sarah Adler:
Thank

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
like,

Sarah Adler:
you.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
we're gonna look at tomorrow optimistically. So they'll just say, she's having a bad day. And like, let's say it. And then that's drama. So it's a little tricky with live streams

Sarah Adler:
Interesting.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
about like

Sarah Adler:
Okay.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
what you want to.

Sarah Adler:
So tell me what do you do to deal with, how do you take care of your mental health? And when you are feeling those stressors and you're feeling the pressure, what are some of the things that you do?

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
You know, I'm still experimenting with that. It's like a constant effort. Like you have to self-assess and see what you need. I think like the most important thing is that it's okay to take time off. Actually this past year I've taken a lot of time off because I wanted to kind of get involved with my local community and work on that. Like work on my social skills, like off of camera too, because my entire life was just on camera basically since I've come here. So. Especially after COVID, it was hard. And I can discuss how that affected my job as a streamer, which seems like one that wouldn't be too interrupted from that.

Sarah Adler:
Yeah.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
But it really depends on the situation. Sometimes it's just a matter of playing a game that's less mentally taxing or more chill or relaxing for the day rather than doing something that's a little bit harder because... People are watching you for your skill or your comedy or whatever, so maybe something that's more relaxing so you don't have to aim perfectly and get all headshots or something. Yeah. Uh, yeah.

Sarah Adler:
Interesting. That's interesting. So, um, how did Pokemon, I mean, Pokemon, how

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Coming.

Sarah Adler:
did, um, how did COVID, Pokemon COVID, how

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
The

Sarah Adler:
did COVID?

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
interesting thing is that COVID, well, like, so a lot of people ended up watching. So viewership kind of went up for a lot of content creators because people were at home and they're stuck and they're all like online. So they're gonna check out other platforms like Twitch or they're gonna, you know, consume content a little bit more. But the thing is that as a content creator, the people that we can relate to the most that understand like exactly how we feel are other content creators. And the time where we get to interact with them and meet up with like our friends is conventions and those were all canceled. So like content creators go to events like many throughout a year to meet fans. Like there's like E3 is a big gaming one. I'm in like the gaming space. So I go to a lot of those kinds. And then there was TwitchCon and there was actually a bunch where we like do meeting greets. We work with brands. We like do things from there. I used to have like a booth in the artist alley at TwitchCon and I would like meet people and do stuff. So not having that and not interacting with other people that really understood what we're going through, like those are our friends that know that, it was hard because you're just working and kind of getting burnt out and other people don't relate the same way to the job. So I felt like that was really disconnecting. Plus not meeting the fans in person, it does like take a toll I think. So yeah,

Sarah Adler:
you feel isolated and then you

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
yeah.

Sarah Adler:
don't get some of that real interaction.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah, so that was one of the big motivating factors I had to get involved with my local community. which kind of leads into the professor program that I got into,

Sarah Adler:
Yeah,

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
which

Sarah Adler:
can

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
is how I met you.

Sarah Adler:
we talk about how we met? So, Kai and I actually met because Kai is my son's Pokemon professor. And it's for people who like you had to do with me for people who don't know what a Pokemon professor is, can you explain and talk

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Um.

Sarah Adler:
a little bit about why this was so important for you to get involved locally?

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Okay, so a Pokemon... Well, basically, so the Pokemon franchise is really big and there's a lot of different games. I think Pokemon's so cool because you can talk to people of all ages and they interact with it in some way, even if it's just they know of it, kind of, like I know what a Pikachu is or something. But they have health apps. I know, I have friends who use the Pokemon Sleep app and they don't play Pokemon. They just use it because it's a fun sleep app where you catch Pokemon every night or something. So they, in order to kind of grow and foster their competitive scene, I would say, they do this professor program where they have leagues and you can look up on their event locator like where is a local league that you can take your kid or go as even as an adult to play and trade with other players and talk with them and hang out and stuff like that. So how they do it is that they run the leagues. They have like leaders that kind of run these leagues to make sure that everything is, you know, running smoothly and everything's going like somebody's there to answer questions and follow the rules and do all that. So you take a test, get a background check, you become a Pokemon professor and then you can like kind of lead this. And so I did it because well, one, I really love Pokemon and two, I just it's the same kind of thing. It's coming from this is something that's really fun and I want to help like encourage kids to like find that fun. Like it's not just about collecting the cards, but you can play with them and you can interact with people and um I love encouraging the kids to play and then they get really into it. And then I'm like, now you can compete in it because competition is really healthy, especially for kids to like work really hard on something and then play with other kids and then, you know, have a win or a loss and learn how to deal with those feelings and then practice and then come back to it and then win. So I don't know. It's just, it's so special to me. Like a lot of the battle of like a professional or like competitive sport or game is like mental. So it's really healthy to encourage that optimistic, hardworking kind of thing that you have to do to compete. I love helping the kids reach that. So that's really where I thought I could shine as getting involved in my local community. This is just something that, actually my area specifically didn't really have a program. There is a lot of them all over, everywhere, all over the world. But this area specifically in the vicinity didn't have. a program running. So I was like, okay, this will be the one for this area.

Sarah Adler:
And my son, I don't know if he told you this, but he's like, mom, can we go to New Orleans, to regionals? Can we

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Oh

Sarah Adler:
go

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
yeah.

Sarah Adler:
to international? He's like planning

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah.

Sarah Adler:
this entire

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Ha ha

Sarah Adler:
year. And the amazing thing,

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
ha.

Sarah Adler:
your point is, and it actually has taught him a lot of executive functioning skills because he has to plan out how many points he's going to earn.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sarah Adler:
So there's a lot of like pre-thought, there's a lot of executive functioning, and then there's the social piece. Like when you're playing soccer and you're kicking some kids butt, you don't actually have the social interaction or the connectedness to what's happening. It is such a

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yep.

Sarah Adler:
social game.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah.

Sarah Adler:
And I feel like this has taught him a level of conscientiousness and kindness

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah, it's so cool.

Sarah Adler:
in loss that

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah.

Sarah Adler:
he would not necessarily get on the tennis court, which was his sport. So

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah,

Sarah Adler:
it's

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
yeah,

Sarah Adler:
amazing.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
definitely like the sportsmanship and like how to handle those things. Like it's so good for kids. I mean, it's good for everybody. It's good for the adults that do it too. It's awesome.

Sarah Adler:
It's amazing. That is great. So I would love for you to wrap up, and this has been amazing. Tell me if you sort of had to give advice to, okay, I have two questions for you. One is

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Okay.

Sarah Adler:
if you had to give advice to my generation to understand how your generation is different, what would you say?

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Ummm I don't know, I don't think of the world in terms of generations. I just think we're all just people. But like, I guess so. What is the defining thing that makes us different? Is it that like I grew up with this stuff and you didn't or? That's a question.

Sarah Adler:
like, what would you want? What would you want people who are sort of looking at, you know, you

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Hmm

Sarah Adler:
know, Jodie Foster came out and a couple weeks ago at the Golden Globes and said how annoying the younger generation is to work on work with. And which is

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
so mean like

Sarah Adler:
it's

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
we shouldn't

Sarah Adler:
so mean.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
bully each other

Sarah Adler:
Yeah.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
like everybody bullies like the newest generation but I feel like they're just bullying them because they're kids but

Sarah Adler:
Oh

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
like cuz kids don't like kids do crazy things because they're exploring and still figuring out who they are so it's so easy to always bully like the youngest generation because they're doing crazy things because they're figuring out who they are but I don't know

Sarah Adler:
So the baby that's it is what you want to say is hey like we're just figure it trying to figure out who we are So give us

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah,

Sarah Adler:
give us some space

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
yeah.

Sarah Adler:
give us some breathing room

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah, I think everybody should be kind to each other. And like, we can all help each other because there's things that, if we're on the same team, there's things that the younger generation can like work with the older generation to, like we can solve so many problems and we can give each other so many unique perspectives. So

Sarah Adler:
I love

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
that's what

Sarah Adler:
that

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
I would

Sarah Adler:
so

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
say.

Sarah Adler:
much. And the last thing that I will ask you to kind of talk about is, what's your favorite mental health hack? What's the favorite thing or the most important thing you do to kind of keep your emotional well-being in a good place?

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
I guess a couple things come to mind. One is taking care of yourself, like you matter. And like it's

Sarah Adler:
No.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
easy to not, it's easy to neglect yourself because like that's lower priority than things that involve other people because you have like this responsibility to them and you have to show up like and you have to do this thing. But when it comes to yourself, it's easy to put that like at a lower priority. But like you better too, think of yourself as like another person and treat yourself with the respect, that same kind of respect. That's like important. And another thing would be think about the people that really care about you and that are there for you like and interact with them, especially if you're feeling like lost or down, reach out to those people. And if you're like scared about, oh, I don't want to bring those people down or whatever, then go out of your way when you're feeling good. reach out to them and see if they're doing good. Because if you do that, then you won't feel bad when it's time for you to reach out. Because you actually might, very often when I'm feeling really great and I reach out to somebody like, are you okay? Do you wanna just go and get some boba and talk or something? They'll always have something going on. Everybody's going through the same stuff, so don't feel too alone about it. Just be kind and then kindness comes back. I don't know. That's my

Sarah Adler:
I love

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
advice.

Sarah Adler:
that. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. And this was super fun. And I am I hope you'll come back and join us again.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah, I'd love to. This was so easy. Oh my gosh. I was so scared before. I can't believe it's over. Like, I could talk for the next, like, many hours.

Sarah Adler:
you can come back. No, we're gonna come back. We're gonna definitely do this again,

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yeah.

Sarah Adler:
because I have some other I have so many more questions I want to ask you. So I

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Aww.

Sarah Adler:
am grateful and thank you so much. And your outlook on life is lovely. And I think that's right. We should all be kind to each other is the most amazing thing. So yes, we should.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Aww, yay.

Sarah Adler:
So thank you so much. And for listeners, thank you so much for tuning in. This is your guide to mental health and the digital age. And if you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to leave us a review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking to actively support your own mental wellbeing, be sure to check out Kai's Twitch live stream, definitely. And

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Aww.

Sarah Adler:
also... Download the Wave Life app, which is the only digital health solution that is designed from the ground up for digital natives. Our music is Gold Roses from Cloud System. Join us next time and we'll continue to navigate the highs and lows of emotional well-being for digital natives. Thanks

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Yay.

Sarah Adler:
everyone.

Kai Shahmeen LifeWithLaughs:
Hehehe