E050 | Why your self-care plan isn’t working—And how to build one that restores your energy & balance

Feeling exhausted, stuck, or like your self-care routine just isn’t working—no matter how hard you try?

In this episode, we’re breaking down why most self-care advice fails women with chronic stress, fatigue, and autoimmune conditions—and how to create a personalized, sustainable self-care routine that actually restores your energy, improves emotional balance, and supports long-term healing.

If you’ve been following all the wellness trends, trying new diets, pushing through exhaustion, or constantly feeling like your body is betraying you, it’s time to stop the cycle. Most self-care approaches focus on surface-level fixes—and ignore the deeper connection between your body, mind, and emotions.

Here’s the truth: Lasting wellness doesn’t come from doing more. It comes from tuning into your body’s wisdom, listening to your emotional needs, and creating a simple self-care plan that supports you—daily.

By the end of this episode, you’ll discover:

✔️ Why most self-care routines fail women with chronic fatigue, flare-ups, or burnout—and how to fix yours
 ✔️ How to recognize the hidden signals your body is sending before symptoms spiral
 ✔️ A simple, sustainable framework to make self-care doable—even if you’re busy or overwhelmed

✨ Ready to ditch the guilt and guesswork—and finally feel nourished by your self-care?

 🎧 Tune in now at your favorite podcast app.

OTHER LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

👉 Join our free Facebook group: Embrace Your Healing Journey
👉 Book Recommendation: The Art of Extreme Self-Care by Cheryl Richardson
👉 Learn more about the Body Wise Healing™ Framework: CLICK HERE 
 

✉️ Got questions? Want to share your experience? Write to me at anindita@aninditarungta.com—I’d love to hear from you! 💛

🎧 Hit play now, and let’s get started! 🚀

If this episode found you somewhere real, there's more.

I write every week at Healing From Within — about chronic illness, the nervous system, and what it costs to keep performing being okay.

 👉 Find me on Substack: healingfromwithin.substack.com

I've also built something for women who are tired of doing everything right and still not feeling better. It opens to a small group in September. 

There's nothing to sign up for. If you'd like to know when, write to me: anindita@aninditarungta.com

Keep listening. Your body already knows the way.

Transcript

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Are you ready to turn the art of self-care into a science tailored just for you? In today's episode, we dismantle some myths around sustained health and guide you towards creating a self-care routine that's not just effective, but sustainable at the same time.

So even in this episode, you will learn how to make peace with your body and let your emotions guide you. That's not something that is often talked about so that you can create a life full of energy and balance.

Welcome to Embrace Your Healing Journey, a podcast for women with autoimmune and other chronic conditions to help them navigate their illness without fear of isolation and uncertainty, and find relief from their symptoms. Your body is your guide and ally in healing. If you're ready to embrace this journey with compassion and awareness, then this show is for you. Tune in weekly as I am a Functional Medicine Certified Health Coach, deliver tips and insights that demystify the healing process, guiding you towards the relief you deserve so that you can feel healthy and happy once more.

So as a health coach and a mother, I have experienced firsthand the challenge of maintaining my own well-being while caring for others. And for many years, I was the primary caregiver for my daughter because she had serious health challenges at that time. And I came across the book the Art of extreme Self-care are 12 Practical and Inspiring Ways to Love Yourself More by Cheryl Richardson a while ago, and it was this book that opened my eyes to the importance of self-care, having a self-care, sustainable and consistent self-care routine, and also what self-care is not. Till then, I my idea, honestly, of a self-care routine was going for a massage or to a spa, or having a smoothie and all those things that you read in books or magazines or in the social media. And of course, they are legitimate ideas for a self-care routine, but they are just scratching the surface. They're not even close to what true and real self-care can, you know means, and what it can actually do for you. And in this book, Cheryl, you know, introduce the introduces the concept of deprivation. This is not something that I ever considered for myself. And it really opened my eyes. And I was, you know, I realized that I was perpetually in rescue mode, uh, caring for others and neglecting my own health in the process. And of course, when you are in a crisis mode, it is bound to happen. And there's nothing wrong with that. But but when you're out of that crisis mode, that is when you need to make sure that you're taking care, good care of your health. Uh, otherwise, you're in no fit state to take good care of others. And this book was a game changer for me. So for that reason and so for many others, and it reshaped my understanding of self-care. And so also the other thing that happened is when I came across this concept of deprivation, I was reminded of my, you know, of being that good girl all my life. You know, I've always been praised for being a good girl right from childhood. And that is something a lot of women are conditioned. A lot of young girls are conditioned to be to, you know, to talk in the right way, walk in the right way, sit in the right way, you know, be a good girl. Not, you know, uh, you know, crave for attention. So many things that actually are not really helpful at all to women, especially when we grow up. So, uh, so anyways, coming back to this book, I want to share with you an exercise that you know that you can do right now. So get your pen and paper a journal, and I want you to answer these questions thoughtfully. So take your time. You can always pause this episode while you are doing that. So the first question that I want you to write down answers to is where do I feel deprived? So the first question is where do I feel deprived? The second, what do I need more of right now? So the second question is what do I need more of right now? The third question what do I need less of? What do I need less of? You may not have ever answered this question. What do I want right now? So the next question is what do I want right now? Then what am I yearning for? It's actually different from the previous one. What am I yearning for? Who or what is causing me to feel resentful and why? Who or what is causing me to feel resentful and why? And finally, what am I starving for? What am I starving for? So, as she says in the book, your answers to these questions will help you identify the areas of your life that are calling for greater consciousness and increase in your awareness of what needs to change in order to keep you from feeling deprived. When you are doing this exercise, it's important that you're specific about your needs. So instead of writing, I feel deprived because I have no time to myself. For instance, you might say I feel deprived of solitary, uninterrupted time away from my children and husband, which allows me to do something just for me, such as read a good book, have lunch with a friend, or take a quiet bath. Being introspective and taking time to arrive at your answers thoughtfully will allow you to gain greater clarity about what your soul needs most to no longer feel deprived. To practice extreme self-care, you must learn to love yourself unconditionally, accept your imperfections, and embrace your vulnerabilities. From a spiritual perspective, it's about recognizing that you are a soul in a physical body who is here to learn to be more of who you really are. When you treat and view yourself with respect that you deserve, you experience the peace that comes from being present to yourself. What a lovely way to, you know, talk about what true self care is all about. It's about finding the, you know, creating healthy boundaries. It's about respecting yourself, loving yourself unconditionally, you know, and demanding the same from others. But you have to demand that from yourself first. And that's, uh, that's part of self-care. Uh, in fact, as I record this episode, just in a couple of days, I am traveling, uh, I think it's about 12,000km to meet my daughter who's studying in Vancouver. And I'm going to spend, uh, about 9 to 10 days with her. It's just a mother and daughter time. Uh, we couldn't go when she went, uh, to drop her because of visa issues. So I'm going now. Spend some time with her and the remaining ten days of my trip. I'm in USA meeting my friend, uh, being with family, but also just being on my own. And that's self-care for me. The whole trip is actually a kind of self-care for me. So I'm spending time with my daughter, who I miss a lot. At the same time, I'm also spending time on myself and with friends and family, catching up and just being by myself in a new place, you know, reflecting and enjoying that self-care. So I know that when I come back, I come back feeling more refreshed, more rejuvenated, you know, uh, feeling full. Because I've really poured into myself so that I can, you know, show up for my work, for my family and take better care of themselves for them, you know? So that's that's how self-care really works. Uh, so you cannot perform an empty cup at all. So if you're feeling constantly fatigued, no matter how much rest you're getting or your body aches in, you know, you have these aches and pains which never seem to go away. Or maybe you find that you, you know, you're feeling anxious, unusually low or down, but it's not linked to anything. Then understand that these symptoms are not random. They are your body's way of communicating. They're trying to tell you something. So whether it's nutrition, whether it's more rest or whether it's a more genuine connection with your own emotions, there is something that that is not right. So in in today's episode, we will explore how to listen to these messages from your body and how you can integrate tailored self-care practices that address your unique needs. So what you are doing here, basically is creating a sustainable foundation for your health. And that's what you know would give you long term relief. So the what happens is that the actual problems that are causing these symptoms are a combination of lifestyle imbalances, emotional stress, and even possibly neglected self-care. That's true for many women. We are not really very good or we are. Uh, you know, the way we are conditioned. We are not really led to believe that self-care is important or taking care of a health. In fact, it's typically at the end of our list. So and the issues that, uh, you know, lead to this are often lifestyle imbalances, as I mentioned, which is a poor diet. It can be lack of exercise, inadequate sleep, and maybe even overreliance of stimulants like coffee. So all these factors can actually disrupt your body's natural rhythms. And that causes issues. Or it can be emotional stress. Chronic emotional stress is another big factor that we often underestimate. So whether it's unresolved personal issues, ongoing relationship conflicts, or even work related pressure, I mean, I know at least of two individuals. And they have chronic back pain issues. And I know that it definitely also stems from their unresolved personal relationships issues. So they have relationship issues and it's definitely contributing to their back pain. There is actually research which backs it up. So so that needs to be addressed because emotional stress can weaken the immune system. It alters hormonal balance. So all of it is connected for one whole person. And then of course for women specifically neglected self-care. So not taking time to rest and recharge is definitely true for many women. And this is typically also true more for those who are also caregivers. And women are usually the primary caregivers in their families, whether it's for their aging parents, for the child, for their husband, whoever the case might be. So without the adequate, you know, self-care and consistent self-care, regular self-care, it leads to burnout, right? That's that's what happens to many women. And of course, it can be environmental factors like toxins coming in, whether it's from the air you breathe or the products that you're putting on your body body. They also contribute to all, you know, these issues. And and last but not the least, Mind body connection. The you know, the disconnection that we often have with our body is, is really sad. And even though your body is trying to communicate with you, maybe you've never really paid attention to it because you were never taught to pay attention to it. You knew how to do it as you were a young child. Of course, we are all born with that innate sense of connection to our body, but we are conditioned to, you know, get out of it by the time we are into our teens, actually. So addressing these underlying issues, they need a holistic approach. It cannot be done in piecemeal. So whether it's your lifestyle changes, physical activity, dietary changes, all of what needs to happen together and in a particular manner, because many individuals, many people who face these issues, they've tried everything. So maybe you've tried many different things, but they may not have worked for you. And the what happens is that, you know, like something like, say, for example, diets, so many restrictive diets or detox regimes, programs, they don't work because they are they are often short term, quick, quick fixes. They don't really address the entire problem. Maybe they don't even address the problem at all. So the other day I was out for dinner. And, uh, you know, the one of one of the people that I met, he said that he had just bought a detox kit from an organic store. And I know that, you know, that just doing that detox because I, I could I know that, you know, he had a stressful work, work thing. I mean, most of us have, honestly speaking, but just doing it, you know, using a detox kit. But he's trying his best. Right. So, so so these things are there, but they don't really address the real problem or even the sporadic fitness thing. So so many people go to the gym, they work out for, you know, for a day or two and then that's it. That's good. So in fact, when my clients ask me what is the best workout, I tell them it's the workout that you will actually do. So if it's swimming, if you love swimming, please swim. If you love running, please run. If you don't love running, don't start running just because your husband is doing it. Okay, that's actually me. I don't like running at all. So I did try it once and I hated it. And I realized, okay, this is not something that works for me, so I am definitely not going to be able to stick to it. But what I do love is dancing, and that's what I do. And nobody has to tell me. And I don't feel tired when I'm doing that. So you have to figure out what works for you. That should be a part of your self-care regime. And then, of course. Ignoring emotional health by ignoring your stress or relationship issues that are going on. So any of these things and emotions definitely impact your physical well-being. I mean, you intuitively know that. So without addressing this, just focusing on physical health is not going to give you long term results. And of course, if you don't ask for help, uh, if you don't have a community supporting, it becomes that much more difficult. So I make this mistake even after knowing all of this, when I was at, you know, a couple of years ago when I was facing severe sciatic issues. It became really bad because I did not ask for help at the right, you know, at the right time. Uh, I was traveling a lot with my daughter, and by the time I actually went to the doctor, they said surgery is required, but I could have actually asked for help from the functional medicine community for a long time before that and got some good, uh, long term solutions, which I finally ended up doing. But after a lot of pain, I didn't have to do that. So that was a big learning for me. So the effective resolution of any problems actually involves a holistic understanding of one's health. It has to be a 360 degree approach. And, uh, it's and it has to make, you know, make sense for you. So if you feel exhausted, overwhelmed, or stuck in a cycle of trial and error that is not bringing you, uh, sustained relief, then you need to take a different approach. It's a more. What I'm I'm inviting you to do is take a more sustained approach to self-care, not just a occasional yoga class or a trendy diet that your neighbor is following, or just a self-care weekend at the spa. Only doing that is not going to really be to really help you. So. What I'm going to share with you next is how to sustain your well-being every single day. That's what's going to move the needle. That's what's going to help you see lasting results, the one that you really want. So here's what you can do instead. Number one, this is the most important step. Make your body your friend. This has to be a part of your self-care routine. We don't talk about this at all. You may not have even heard of this. If your body is not working against you, it is actually working for you. And all those symptoms that you are facing. Those symptoms are your body's way of sending you messages to get your attention that there is something wrong and this needs to be addressed. And even when you know when a person has autoimmune disease and there are these symptoms which keep changing every single day and there's 200 symptoms, um, it's not so much that the body is working against that person. It's more that the body is trying to survive desperately in an environment it's been asked to live in. Okay, I this is something that I teach my clients. So you need to shift your perspective. So instead of, for example, seeing fatigue as an inconvenience. Start seeing it as your body's way of saying slow down, something is off. So and it can be you know, you can start with simple stuff like maybe a deeper rest, raised, different foods or a more balanced routine, and of course, tuning into your rhythm. So whether it's hunger cues, whether it's thirst, whether it's, you know, sometimes we actually override these things with caffeine, with coffee. So start paying attention instead of, you know, to your body's signals instead of overriding them. So the next time you feel drained, don't reach for a coffee. Start by asking yourself, what does my body read right now? And you will find that when you listen carefully, you will get the answer. Number two, let your emotions guide you again, not something that you would have possibly heard. You know you've been taught to manage your emotion, pushed through stress, but emotions again are not the enemy. They are not internal guidance system. They are telling you that something is wrong and what's what's working and what's depleting you. So for example, resentment. It's not an emotion, it's a feedback. If you feel resentful about your relationships or some responsibilities, it may be that your boundaries needs. Strengthening boundaries, again, is not something that we are taught of, taught about how to create and set healthy boundaries and why we need to do that. So go back and listen to the episode. I've done an episode. I'm going to share it in the show notes below. But why you need to set boundaries and how you can do that. So instead of brushing off your emotions, ask yourself, what is this emotion trying to tell me? And only then can you start taking these small steps to address the root cause. And number three, practice self-care consistently, not just when you feel burned out or you've reached your end of your tether. So because most people treat self-care as a luxury or as an indulgence, but real self-care is not about bubble baths and spa massage and smoothies. It's about daily practices that replenish your energy before you get burnt out. And while I give the example of going on this trip for two and a half weeks, it's not that I go on a trip every now and then, you know? And that self-care. I practice self-care every single day, and it's in the small things that I do. It's in the bedtime routine. It's in the morning routine. It's in the journaling. It's the walk that I take. It's how I meet. I make sure that I meet a friend every week. Uh, you know, so these are the things. So you have to think small and you have to think daily. So you have to build these micro moments of self-care into your daily routine. So it can be stretching for five minutes, taking a deep breath, uh, journaling for a few minutes. Gratitude. You know, just saying to yourself what you're truly grateful for. So stop treating self-care as an afterthought, and just pick one small habit and stick to it. And, um, I have talked about micro habits and micro moments. I'm going to share a couple of these episode links below, and you can listen to them as to how exactly to go about them, because. Addressing this is very important because you might still be thinking, I'll focus on self-care when I have more time. I don't know how many times I've heard this. You will never have more time unless you start prioritizing yourself right now. That's the truth. You may not want to hear it. You may not like it, but this is what it is. So unless you start prioritizing yourself right now, you will never get that time. Or you might be thinking, if I just find the right supplement or diet, I'll feel better. The truth is, sustainable health is about consistent practices, not external fixes. And honestly, you can't supplement your way out of a bad diet or a bad lifestyle or, you know, or a lack of self, you know, consistent self-care. You might see short term relief, but that's it. Or you might be thinking, my emotions have nothing to do with my physical health or physical well-being. Then the truth is, your emotions shape your body's response, your stress response, your digestion, immunity, and energy levels. They are all connected. You are one person. Your emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being are all interconnected. But the good news is that even if you have been thinking this way, you can change all of this starting today. And to make these shifts easier. I want to share with you. I want to introduce the care model that I have in my coaching program, in the framework that I follow in my coaching program, which is called Body Wise Healing Framework. It's and the model is called care C a r c stands for Cultivate awareness, which is where you are. You know where you start noticing your body's signals and emotional patterns. A stands for align your body. Align with your body. That means you stop working against your body and start treating it as a friend or restore through simplicity. That means you need a ten step wellness routine to start with. You may eventually get there, but you can start with these micro habits that I just spoke about. E is embraced emotional guidance, something that is often not focused on at all. That means of instead of numbing stress on those emotions with distractions. Start listening to what your emotions are actually trying to tell you because you know, this, this model is something that I follow, and this is the model that I have built this entire episode on. So even if you start doing some of the practices that I just mentioned, you will be, you know, you will start seeing results. So the real transformation happens when you stop waiting for the perfect time to take care of yourself. There is no perfect time, right? You have to start today with whatever you have and whatever you can possibly do. So if you are ready to start today, just choose one simple self-care practice and one that you can do on a daily basis. And because it's not about just feeling better for a moment, it's about how to sustain well-being for a lifetime. That's the real world. That's what self-care is about. And even if you are feeling exhausted, stretched thin, and your energy, you know you never feel energetic no matter what you do. And you've tried different diets, your push through exercise taken different supplements. What I want you to know is, and if you're not seeing results, what I want you to know that it's not your fault. Most of us have been taught to approach self-care completely backwards. That's what I've been talking about. It's more about quick fixes, external fixes. So it's a pill or cleanse detox supplement. But these are this is not what true self-care is all about. And that is why symptoms keep showing up, whether it's fatigue, anxiety, brain fog, etc.. So this matters because as I mentioned, sustain health is not about fixing what's broken. It's about building a foundation. When you build a healthy foundation, that's when you see sustainable health. And it's not just physical health that I'm talking about. It's about emotional well-being, emotional and spiritual health as well. So finally, you stop guessing about what your body needs, and you start knowing if you wake up feeling refreshed instead of feeling drained, you experience more calm and clarity rather than being stuck in the stress mode. And you stop relying on external fixes and you start relying on yourself and your body. So. You don't have to just think about this. You have to actually experience it. And you can. You can start today because it's not about adding more to your plate. It's about a completely new way of approaching self-care, one that actually works for you and you know it will work for you simply because you are being guided by your own body, by your own emotions. It is your inner guidance system. So if you are ready to stop this endless cycle of exhaustion and start feeling deeply nourished, balanced and cared for, I have designed something for you. I'm hosting an Autoimmune Breakthrough Masterclass on the 28th of March. I'll be sharing the link below. Make sure that you sign up for this, and I'll show you exactly how to break free from these. You know, from the shackles so that you're not chasing health trends anymore. You don't feel like your body is an enemy anymore, and you know you're not starting over and over again. So if you're tired of doing everything right, but are still feeling stuck. This is where things finally change. So join me for this. Uh. Breakthrough. Autoimmune breakthrough Masterclass is going to be a game changer. It's going to be an amazing experience for you, because I want you to know that self-care is not a luxury. It's the foundation of the life that you deserve to live. So if you have any questions, you can connect with me on Instagram at the rate and in the room. To thank you so much for joining me on this episode of Embracing Your Healing Journey. In the next episode of Embrace Your Healing Journey, I am pulling back the curtains on A Hard truth why most popular health trends are set up to fail you. So if you've ever wondered why Miracle Diet Detox Supplement it's not working despite the hype, then this episode is a must listen. Uh, I'll be breaking down why wellness trends keep you stuck in an endless loop of trying and failing, and the simple shift that finally puts you back in control. So if you want to see real results, make sure that you listen to the next episode.