The Gaslit Truth

Don’t be Gaslit by New Year’s Resolutions; Psychology Experts Dr. Teralyn and Therapist Jenn Share What You Need to Know

• Dr. Teralyn & Therapist Jenn • Season 1 • Episode 46

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New Year, New YOU... But Who’s REALLY In Control? 

Is your New Year’s resolution rooted in self-intention and agency or are you outsourcing your self-care and relying on external things to "fix" you? 🤔 It’s time to take back your power! 💥

Join your Deep-Throating Informants, Dr. Teralyn and Therapist Jenn, on The Gaslit Truth Podcast as we expose the truth about setting powerful intentions and reclaiming your agency to drive real change in your life. 🔥

🎧 Tune in NOW and start owning your journey this year!

 💬 Have you or someone you know faced these challenges? Share your story in the comments below and join us in raising awareness about this important issue.

🚫 One key aspect we'll discuss: New Year’s Resolution marketing is rooted in pain points and without self-awareness of your own emotional limitations, you will be taken advantage of. 

🚨 TRIGGER WARNING: Listen! It has been a year for Dr. Teralyn and Therapist Jenn! We are proud of The Gaslit Truth Podcast, so it’s time to adjust our crown!  👑 In this episode, we talk about how FABULOUS your Whistle-Blowing Shrinks really are AND we offer a humble Thank You to our listeners❤️

Ever felt overwhelmed by the pressure of New Year's resolutions? You're not alone. In our season finale of the Gaslit Truth Podcast, we explore the psychological undercurrents of this annual tradition. By humorously tying our discussion to Taylor Swift's iconic eras, we unpack how the term "resolution" is being reinvented into something more personal, like "intention" or "journey." We also shine a light on how businesses have cleverly turned resolutions into a marketing goldmine, tapping into post-holiday aspirations for self-improvement while often setting us up with unrealistic expectations. Join us as we navigate the slippery slope of societal pressures and show you how to set realist

The Gaslit Truth Podcast will be live and in person at the Feed the Recovering Brain Conference in Dublin, Ohio

Join us with the top names in brain health, including Christina Veselak, Hyla Cass, and Julia Ross, author of The Mood Cure.

We’ll be bringing you interviews and behind-the-scenes content as we explore how nutrition transforms mental wellness.


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Dr. Teralyn:

Therapist Jenn:





Speaker 1:

your new year's resolution. It's gaslighting you. Ha. We are here whistleblowing shrinks dr taralyn and therapist jen. Yeah, this is the gaslit truth podcast. Welcome, everyone, welcome. And this is a special show because it marks the end of season one.

Speaker 2:

It's like the end of an era. We're we're like Taylor Swift, ending our era. But, but we're coming back, she's not yeah, I mean she, she, she, I, we don't know. Don't say that You're going to scare people. Mental health crisis of Taylor being done in her career. Don't throw that juju out in the world.

Speaker 1:

Right, but we're not done. We've got so much more gaslighting to do?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we're just starting. Yes, we're just starting, aren't we?

Speaker 1:

We're just getting in our groove everybody. And so today, because this is the last episode of season one and of 2024, we thought we would spend a little bit of time talking about New Year's resolutions and, um, yeah, what they mean for you disaster they're, they're so disastrous, they, I I psychologically damning is what?

Speaker 2:

I was just gonna say it actually is a huge mind fuck um, and the fact that we do this at the end of the year and set these in, you know, intentions or whatever you want to call it, all these words like you should see the time, guys, we spent before this episode trying to change the word resolution.

Speaker 1:

Or figure out what other people are using now, because I know the word New Year's resolution is becoming kind of an outdated term. Is becoming kind of an outdated term. There are still plenty of people that are using it, but we're just replacing it with other things like intention and your New.

Speaker 2:

Year's journey I hate the word journey Okay, and we're going to talk about intention a little bit, so let's jump into this a little bit and talk about New Year's resolutions in general. So there's some psychology behind where this idea comes from. There is also a lot of really great big marketing ploys.

Speaker 2:

Well, like with everything else, Right Beyond where New Year's resolution comes from. So if we backtrack this a little bit and talk about the start of New Year's resolutions, believe it or not, you've got big marketing. That had a very large role in some of this idea as it started to grow, because how much are we marketed to when it right before new year's, like right after?

Speaker 1:

Christmas.

Speaker 2:

Christmas ends and that next week of like hell is weight loss. Basically Yep, Yep Ads, ads ads.

Speaker 1:

Basically Yep, yep, ads, ads, ads yeah.

Speaker 2:

Even before phones, they were on the TV. Before they were on the TV, people, they were on the radio. Before they were on the radio, we were telegraphing messages back and forth in Egyptian times about the fucking new year's resolutions. True.

Speaker 1:

Probably, but they are a very there is a huge marketing strategy.

Speaker 2:

Uh, that Probably. But there is a huge marketing strategy that goes into resolutions.

Speaker 1:

Man, we get gaslit by marketing all the time. Yes, are we that fragile that we are so influenced by all this marketing?

Speaker 2:

Seriously, I should have been more into marketing Fragile, it's fragile.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, when you do a little bit of digging on this, there's a lot of articles out there that talk about New Year's focus, top resolutions, why it matters, and a New Year's resolution in the idea of marketing. This this is actually defined is about strategic campaigns or initiatives that businesses do launch right. That are typically always around the start of the year and they capitalize on people who it's like. They target our desire to set goals and aspirations, which shocker, shocker are often focused on health, fitness, self-improvement, hobbies, okay, so they promote products that pull at our heartstrings and align with that. So there's targeted marketing. There's promotions that are done very timely. How about some motivational language?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, the other thing I was thinking about is, and it comes at a time where we have really high expectations of holidays, of family, of all these things, and we come off of that often very disappointed. So then, wait a minute, all I need to do is January 1, start my new life.

Speaker 2:

It's a start over. It's a start over, and we like endings and we like beginnings for sure.

Speaker 1:

And it's interesting that corporate America because I'm going to guess a lot of that goes along with their budgeting strategies. Right, they have a one-year budget, and so then they set their intention and their goals for the next year and everybody does it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and then there's a special offer. Hang on, wait, wait, there's more.

Speaker 1:

Wait Hang on.

Speaker 2:

There's a special offer, so a lot of it is. There is a lot of psychology behind New Year's resolutions and I know for some people that are probably listening is going damn it, now you're just like ruining my whole New Year's resolution piece. Now, okay, don't get us wrong. Actively today before we recorded this episode.

Speaker 1:

We were setting some.

Speaker 2:

We were setting some and we're going to talk a little bit about the psychology behind this right. So I found this cool Psychology Today article that I think spells a little of this out and speaks to what you and I were starting to do, terry. So don't get us wrong everyone. It's not as though we're sitting here going let's not go into 2025 looking at how it is that we can lay out some strategery.

Speaker 1:

Let's not freeball 2025.

Speaker 2:

Let's not freeball it. Right, let's not freeball it. Let's actually set some targeted goals. Let's look at what we got already. Let's make it realistic, but push ourselves a bit right, because we're always trying to reach just a little bit farther. Okay, let's stack it on something that we're already doing, so that we can emphasize a structure that's already there. Okay, and there's small actions right. We're not going to go in January and go. Well, the Gaslit Truth podcast is going to make us millions.

Speaker 1:

That was last January.

Speaker 2:

That's when we gaslit ourselves last January.

Speaker 2:

Oh my God, we have such a good idea for a podcast, but there is some psychology behind this, and so I found this article and it spells out a little bit about that. Like contrary, it's a popular opinion. It's not hard to change the habits if you use some of the science behind how habits are formed. Actions To say I want to get more exercise isn't too small. Or eat healthier, it's not small, that's a very large one. So you got to spell out what the hell that even is right. So, instead of get more exercise, spell it out. I'm going to walk a third more than I do usually every day, on average.

Speaker 1:

Which then requires you to evaluate what you're doing now first.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and it also requires most of the time when it requires stacking a habit okay, or attaching a new action to a previous habit that you had. If you have one Because it's easier to do that, then because I'm already doing something, I'm just going to do it for 10 extra minutes. Easier to do that then?

Speaker 1:

because I'm already doing something. I'm just going to do it for 10 extra minutes. I want to bring this up because last year in January, I set a habit for myself. It's a habit because I didn't have a goal in the end in mind. It was I'm going to do Duolingo every day. One activity on Duolingo every day. I did up until day 325 or something like that. I was so close.

Speaker 1:

And then I don't know what happened that week, but I totally forgot about it, okay, lost it. And then, before I knew it, it was a week later and they erased all my progress. So they sent me back down to zero. But I was thinking about it and I was like I wanted to get to 365. I don't know what happened during that week, but what I know that I didn't do is that I didn't partner it with another habit at the same time. So I didn't stack it. It was just when I would remember it that day, I would grab my phone and I would do it and it would be done. Yes, and it didn't matter the time of day Like often it was before bed, but not always. But something Stack it with something. Yep, yeah, I didn't stack it with something and something must have gotten in the way I can't even put my thumb on what happened that I, literally, after 320, some odd days, forgot about it. It was just poof, it was gone, and then I was devastated.

Speaker 1:

I was like I was so close, you know like, but I didn't have that piece of it at all. I didn't. It was a random. I would be forced to recall it and remember it and do it, and then it was gone.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's something as simple as like uh pairing taking your supplements, Cause I do this with an action I do every single day, which is brushing my teeth. So not only is that nice little container with all my stuff in it right next to my toothbrush, but I will do that every single day in the morning and then I will, I'll take what I need and then I grab it, Cause of course mine's got like four different times a day I take stuff right.

Speaker 2:

And that's fine and I take it with me, but it sticks with me then, and so I'm so used to stacking that with brushing my teeth because I'm not going to go without doing that. It's super, super rare I ever will, right? So that's the science behind some of this is, and also making it easy. So what we tend to do is we come in like a Mack truck. Yes, like instead of making the first week few weeks, few easy, literally easy, we go full bore.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

And the that model cannot sustain itself. Um, that model as well leaves no room for grace for human error, for anything like that. But when you see these ads that come at you that are talking about New Year's resolutions, that's the heavy focus. Right, you get the first 30 days free, you know. So you're coming in hot and you're going every single day.

Speaker 1:

You got a financial incentive. You got all the things right.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and instead of making it easy and starting slower and being okay so in the first 30 days, how about you commit yourself to 14 of those days in doing something?

Speaker 1:

But no, we jump in that this is a conversation about SMART goals, and so I don't use SMART goals very much. I don't either, which is weird. I should. Maybe it would be helpful if I did. I don't use smart goals. I don't either, which is weird. I should. Maybe it would be helpful if I did.

Speaker 2:

I think the reason I think the reason I don't is because I have such a an aversion to talking about smart goals like in, like when doing therapy back in the prison system. Cause that just seemed to be the thing that they would, they would throw at us, is talk to your clients about smart goals. So I I mean, I'm not saying it doesn't work, I just personally don't use it a lot because I have an aversion to it. But you know, that's just.

Speaker 1:

I also have a fixation on things that I focus on. Like, if I'm going to focus on one thing, I'm going to hyper focus on that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you do, yes, you do yes. Oh, yeah, you do.

Speaker 1:

Yes. So, whether it's nutrition or learning or what I have to like, I have this like tunnel vision. But also, what I put the most energy into usually gives back. You know what I'm hoping for, you know. So problem is is that I need more than just one attention. You know, I need like a dual attention or triple attention you need to.

Speaker 2:

Okay. So if New Year's, if we know this going into New Year's resolutions, and at some point we'll find something better to call this, why do we, why is it that we do this?

Speaker 1:

then Every year. Every single year, because this year is going to be different, jen. This year is going to be different Last year was a trash can, I got to flush it down the toilet. This year is going to be different.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean, why do we do that? And we do it all the time. It almost reminds me of someone who really struggles with whether it's an addiction, or someone who really struggles with whether it's an addiction, or someone who really struggles with certain behaviors that they're working really hard. I won't Okay. That's my last charge to Amazon. That's the last time I'm using my Amazon account and charging something to that credit card. This is the last time I'm going to blow up at my spouse and scream at him and throw a shoe at him Not that I've ever done that, but maybe I have in my past. This is the last drink I'm going to have and then we start over. We think that just starting over is going to be the thing that makes the lifestyle change.

Speaker 1:

I'm just going to forget about what I did and start over tomorrow. I'm just going to forget about what I did and start over tomorrow, but again, I still specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound.

Speaker 2:

Yes, these are SMART goals.

Speaker 1:

These are SMART goals, yes, and so I don't know that it's enough to just say tomorrow is my first day, because then you're not prepared. No, do you know how many days I wake up and say tomorrow is the day that I'm going to start this new diet, tomorrow is the day that I'm going to go on my health journey. Tomorrow is the day and I haven't even prepared a single fucking bit for tomorrow. Okay, so tomorrow comes and I don't have the right food in the house. I don't, you know, I don't want to spend the money to get it. I have a full day of the brain health.

Speaker 1:

Piece of this is is that preparation point? Like? So when, if I say tomorrow I'm going to start going for walks, then tonight I'm going to have my shoes laid out with appropriate socks and a jacket, a hat, gloves, like I'm going to have it laid out. So every time I walk by that I'm going to be reminded that I'm going to be doing this instead of at the end of the day now, oh shit, remembering that I was going to do this thing and now scouring the house to find all the things that I need to actually go out for a walk. That sounds like a lot of work at that point and it's easy to forget. So if you're going to set a measurable goal, like tomorrow I'm going to go for a walk set it up today because you are actually setting. You're not just getting physically prepared, you are mentally creating new neurological connections to that preparedness, you know so that's what it's about.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I found something that I think resonates with some of the things you and I talk about, even when it comes to the brain Okay, and how it is that we do create those those new connections For our listeners. You guys look here, terry, and I often say this idea of lifestyle change right, and I wish there was something catchier for that. We tried to figure it out before this episode, like the buzzwords man, what's a better word for lifestyle change? Yeah, I don't know what the hell it is.

Speaker 1:

Lifestyle has such a negative connotation to it Like oh yeah, it seems so easy. But again, this stuff doesn't have to be hard conceptually, it just needs to be done, right.

Speaker 2:

Right, and I think something that goes along with this idea of lifestyle change and I often say it's something that we're doing when we jump in, jump fast, don't prepare, don't have like measurable steps or progress that we can hit along the way, okay, it's a huge mind fuck too, because then when you fail or you don't do it, you crash.

Speaker 2:

You totally crash, right. And so part of this lifestyle thing is also the idea of the science of the stories we tell ourself. That, I think, is part of this too, which is why, instead of setting New Year's resolutions maybe resoluting or not resoluting to actually changing how you view yourself within the year and what these goals are that you have sometimes, I think can be the best way to get a long-term behavior change. Because if there's a shit self-story that goes along within all of this, okay, and you think that you're going to lose weight, you can do this, you can jump into it, but behind that is nothing but a really crappy self-story that's going to just take you down every single time you hit a barrier. How effective is it going to be if and I'm presenting this idea that your story drives behavior?

Speaker 1:

It does, though.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so that's this idea that we don't ever hear about this in the New Year's resolution, like ads that come out, you don't hear about this part, but it's this idea of who you are, who you think you are and what is important to you in the background, for yourself. If that's always operating and it's operating not in your favor you're not going to make lifestyle changes. You're going to just, for a little bit, be able to maybe set a goal, but it will drop off. It'll drop off.

Speaker 1:

I have a couple of stories to interweave in this. The first is about the Duolingo. And the first is about the Duolingo. So the reason I set out to do Duolingo was because we were going to Spain, okay, so I set that out in January, knowing that we'd be in Spain I think we were in there in March, somewhere around there, anyway. So I was like I'll just start doing this. And then, as I was doing it, I'm like I'm just going to keep going and I want to hit a full year.

Speaker 1:

So the motivation was big, okay, right, and then there really wasn't any motivation, except I would like to hit a year. You know what I mean? Like there wasn't a big thing coming up. So, cause, I do think that you know, like for weight loss, right, we'll use that. Like, if my daughter's getting married and I need to look good in a better dress, then I'm probably going to set a course of weight loss or grow my hair out or do something. So it's different. The motivation of like this is for my health and wellbeing, is true, but it's often not enough.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

And so I think we do. We hinge on a big event. I have to do this thing for a big event that is coming up Now. I wanted to hit on the. You said your story drives behavior and I said, yes, it does. And people are going to say, yeah, but yes, but okay, yes, but I have a physical health condition that prevents me from A, b or C right, and so here's a different story for you.

Speaker 1:

So this was several years ago when I my thyroid somehow went out of whack. I've talked about the story a long time. You know I've had thyroid issues for very long and a few years ago it went haywire, okay, and the the hypothyroid that I was in was profound and I didn't know it. Okay, so I didn't know it because it had been I'll use the word stable for a long time anyway. But I was fatigued, beyond, beyond fatigue, like I was taking two and a half hour naps daily and it didn't matter how how much sleep I got and I couldn't figure it out. And my friend signed up for this program called, uh, daring to rest, okay, so like basically allowing yourself when you needed to rest, and it was meditative stuff and whatever, and I'd literally stick my headphones on, I'd stick my uh eye pillow on and listen to these meditations and I was asleep in 30 seconds. No shit, like whatever. I didn't even need that, I just needed permission to rest, but anyway. So I kept thinking about this and I was like still oblivious that my thyroid was out of whack, and every day I would say to myself I'm so tired. Every day I'd be like couldn't wait to take a nap, like I'm so tired, I have to take a nap. I'm so tired I can't go for a walk. Like the stories of being tired, I think were more profound than actually the physical pieces of the thyroid. Not diminishing that, because it was a huge thing.

Speaker 1:

But this is again before I knew all that. It had dawned on me during that time that I was weaving a story about how tired I was incessantly. I was physically right, but I also was putting on top of it. I was too tired to do anything, anything go for a walk, eat healthy, meet out with people, like talk, like all these things. I felt like I was barely functioning, and so it was during that time that I was like I need to change the way that I am speaking to myself about being tired, okay, and I thought this can't be this easy because again, the story that I had was like there's something wrong with me, blah, blah, blah, blah. There was again, but I didn't know this stuff. And when I stopped telling myself the story of being tired, guess what happened? I was still tired, but I wasn't that tired. I wasn't completely shut down tired and I started walking again and started doing all these things. Because of that story that I was telling myself, I was making a physical health problem way bigger.

Speaker 2:

Way worse yeah.

Speaker 1:

Way worse than what it needed to be.

Speaker 2:

So, based off the way you were talking to yourself, the narrative that ran constantly was further perpetuating some of that behavior for you.

Speaker 1:

Yes, because then when I found out that I was in extreme hypothyroid, that I hadn't been in a long time, it made sense to me. Then I was like okay, so there is something too physical why I'm so tired. But at that point it mattered a little bit. But I was already up and moving around and doing the things before I even had medication adjustment for it. I was already starting on the path of feeling better, before I actually felt better.

Speaker 2:

That's very interesting. Okay so before the other interventions even came in. Yes, okay, and this goes back to stuff we've talked about on the show before, about you can really truly change the brain, the wiring of the brain, based off of the thoughts that you have about yourself, your circumstance.

Speaker 1:

You can actually shift how that impacts then your mood, because you're rewiring and I don't want but I also don't want people to think that we're dismissive of their pain or their health condition. But even still, like that experience personally and having worked in pain clinic for several years, I know the psychology of pain does exist. It doesn't mean that it's all in your head, but there is this other piece of it. You know, that makes it bigger, makes the story bigger, Right? Um, and I think that is something that everybody needs to evaluate as part of their lifestyle process um, or even their new year's resolution. Like what is the story? Maybe my resolution this year is to change my personal story, you know.

Speaker 1:

Maybe it is the story of me right Versus this new diet plan, or I go back to that episode of outsourcing our self-care right Like. Instead, this resolution is about me, right. It's not necessarily about something I do, you know. It's often how I view myself, right.

Speaker 2:

Well, and you're starting to touch. You did touch on something that I also think that these New Year's resolutions don't include, because we're also talking about agency.

Speaker 1:

Oh, yeah, that's our new.

Speaker 2:

Buzzword Agency is a new buzzword everyone, so we're going to make a New Year's agency instead of a New Year's resolution.

Speaker 1:

Yep Personal agency for the New Year.

Speaker 2:

It's a personal agency and what that is, which is what the story is, and I'm talking about your backstory and my story and how that dictates behavior. Right is about power coming from within and you're not receiving power from something that is external. So, while the diet, culture, the exercising, we're not knocking that.

Speaker 1:

These things aren't good, but is the model-? No, they're great, you guys.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean these things are great. Keep exercising.

Speaker 1:

Keep eating healthy Again. But why do we hear people say this a lot? Because Jen and I work with lifestyle factors all the time. That's pretty much our main gig.

Speaker 1:

Yep, yes, and I will hear people say, oh, I already exercise and I feel like crap. I already eat healthy and they are, and I feel terrible. I mean I could go back to what's probably gut health, it's probably all these other things, but it's also probably that fucking story that you're telling yourself. Yes, you know the story of I feel like crap and I can't feel better.

Speaker 2:

You know the, the sense of agency that we can get when we take the time to like I don't know you almost really, you got to do some internal work. You got to do some internal work a little bit on this too, because a New Year's resolution to me, for the way that I view it with most people that do this, is it is an external, not an internal, sense of taking your agency and holding it, knowing what you need, but it's some kind of external reinforcer that's telling you what to do, it's dictating how you should work out, when you should work out, when you should work out how much you should eat, when you should eat what kind. It's somebody else telling you how to do all of it, which there is very little sense of agency and control and lifestyle change. That comes from something like that. Okay, well, they tell me to do it.

Speaker 1:

therefore, I do it.

Speaker 2:

They tell me to do it, okay. So I've got an example of this. A few weeks back well, a little bit more than that I had the opportunity to spend the weekend with a bunch of I'm going to say kids that are half of my age. My brother's getting married and I got to go on this great bachelor party with his friends and they are like half my age, okay. And I come with all the things for a weekend. I've got my food. I've got my tea. I've got my special half and half coffee, right. I've got my high protein snacks. I've got all my supplements right, like. I've got the protein bars that go in my purse If we're going somewhere, like I bring it all right. I bring all my sleep hygiene stuff. I've got my oils. I've got my diffuser all this shit you bring your diffuser.

Speaker 1:

That's hilarious. I brought it all. You're bringing a fan.

Speaker 2:

I did. I brought all of my stuff with right, why not?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and, of course, in their early 20s they had one of them. Look at me and they're just like okay, so you must do all of these things right. Who taught you this right? Who taught you this? Where did you find all this information on all these things that you do to help you slow the bind of the body before you go to sleep? And why are you eating these certain things? We go out and they're noticing, they're all eating certain things and I'm eating something totally opposite, and they're just like do you do this because you're so skinny? Okay, I get the skinny comment. I get the you're so fit comment. You must do this because you run marathons. You know a little bit about me. And I looked at them and I said you're 100% wrong. I do it because of none of that.

Speaker 2:

And so I started to explain to these guys about what it means for me, what I'm going through and getting off of my medications, and I said, in order for me to be able to do all of these things, I had to take a hard look at myself of what I know I need to have to take care of my brain and my body. So all of this came as a result of me figuring out what I needed, not because somebody told me I needed it, not because some book said jen, these are the nine things you got to do when you're going off your medications. It was because I knew that, in order for me to sleep Well, here's how I have to nurture sleep and in order for my brain to feel a certain way in my body, these are all the foods that I need to eat. And it's because I sat in my own sense of figuring it out myself. There wasn't a program that told me how to do this.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes I think it's just the idea of giving, as a therapist, giving a client permission, and I know that seems weird, but, like I do this a lot, I'm like I give them permission to do what they need to do Right Instead, and I I do my fair share of saying'm like I give them permission to do what they need to do Right Instead, and I I do my fair share of saying like hey, this, these things are important, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I also say your pathway to what you need is within you. Like you get to make these decisions. Don't outsource them to other people. Don't even outsource them to me. You know I don't want that responsibility anyway. You need that internal responsibility to yourself, just like I do too.

Speaker 2:

Imagine walking into a workout facility and it's January and you walk in sounds like torture you're like, I'm ready, I want the program, I want you to give me the schedule.

Speaker 2:

How many minutes a day? What exactly do I have to do? Right, like this was the. This was my, my crossfit journey. I was on for years and, don't get me wrong, I fucking loved it, right? I did like, just tell me what to do and I'm gonna do it, because sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I also think we're in a space where we don't. We need help and we don't. It doesn't mean it's taking away agency, but we want more information. But imagine walking into a facility like that and, instead of them going, terry, here's your diet plan for the next 30 days. Here's your exercise plan for the next 30 days. Here's all the little things. Here's your grocery list. Here's everything you need to buy. Here's everything blah, blah, blah, blah everything you need to buy. They just sat you down and went. Why don't you talk a little bit about how you got here and why it is that you think that you need to do this big weight loss thing for New Year's?

Speaker 1:

They need more therapists working in gyms. I'm going to retract that for one second. What's your story? Hold on. I'm going to retract that because a lot of therapists still live in the sick world and we're perpetuating staying there, but we need therapists that do more performance type stuff. What is your story and how can I support you with what you need? But it's no different than people asking me Jen, I'll be like you need to. You know, think about eating more protein. What are the some of the things that you enjoy? Blah, blah, blah. How much protein do I need to eat in a day? You know, and this is want to know, my response to that I don't care more than you're eating right now. Like that's my response, cause I'm like we can't get so hung up in the perfect thing at the perfect time, because I know what that feels like Once you stop being perfect, the shit hits the fan and the part about that is it forces people to.

Speaker 2:

Well, I'll eat this much this day and then this next day or the next week I try this and oh, I felt better the first week than I did the second week. Then you figure it's again. You figure it out yourself. You know we can give guidelines and at the end of all of it I would rather again. No, I'm not doing all these things to nurture sleep because some expert told me Jen, here's what you need for sleep. No, I'm bringing my Epsom salts along and sitting in a bath for a while, because that slows me down before bed, which I did not do that there's in a bath for a while, because that slows me down before bed, which I did not do, that there was no bathtub there.

Speaker 2:

I want to report out on that. It was a shower, I don't know. Yeah, it was an.

Speaker 1:

Airbnb. I'm like, yeah, but I think about this too, with movement more. When people say you need to get 10,000 steps a day, this is a number everybody should know, 10,000 steps a day and so I'm like how many steps do you get right now in a day? Most people have no idea, they have no clue. But 10,000, the idea of that's a big number is so daunting, right? So instead figure out what you get today. Like today I've literally oh God, I have 980 steps so far.

Speaker 2:

Oh you got one of those. It's 1230. You got one of those nice fancy watches. That tells you all these things.

Speaker 1:

No, this is the $40 Amazon knockoff version. Oh, I love that, so it just looks nice.

Speaker 2:

It's still fancy. I don't have one of those. I wear a timepiece 40 bucks.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, this is the one thing I wear so that I can consistently get between 8,000 and 10,000 steps a day.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so I want to challenge something that you said and, going back to them how much of resolutions, then, really are about SMART goals? Because what we are talking about a good chunk of this has nothing to fucking do with a SMART goal.

Speaker 1:

Well, I mean, tracking your steps is pretty measurable.

Speaker 2:

Oh, it is, but some of these other examples are more so about how we feel, yes, and what internally we feel and what's happening, and understanding the backstory to it, how that impacts us today, how those stories impact.

Speaker 1:

You know, If your goal is to move more and you're looking at walking more, like the 10,000 step thing, you have to know where you're starting from. You might be in a lot of pain. 980 steps might be a lot for you. So the idea of bridging that gap to 10,000 seems ridiculous for some people. But saying I get 980 steps a day and that's my typical, so I'm going to try to get 2,000. That is more doable, right?

Speaker 1:

And so getting rid of that 10,000 over your head. It's just about doing more than you were doing before or doing different than you were doing before. It's actually a new year's intention right, it's intention.

Speaker 1:

It's intention. Being more intentional, I think, being more intentional with what you're doing and how you think about what you're doing, your story. I love that. I just can't get enough of that, because so much of this is the story that you tell yourself about why you can or can't do something. It is, you know, it's can or can't. It's all the internal story, yeah, yeah. So be intentional with your personal story.

Speaker 2:

Well, that's that. That's just it, and none of these things that we're talking about today at least most of them, I should say. These are things that are taken into account when you have marketing tactics flying at you right when the new year comes. It's all about pain points, pain points, pain points.

Speaker 1:

Marketing is all pain point marketing and that's what, that is right.

Speaker 2:

And so here we sit in very vulnerable states post-holidays. So here we sit in very vulnerable states post-holidays, which for many of us are super chaotic, For some of us are really fucking painful.

Speaker 1:

For other people they're just fine, and for some people, they're perfectly fine. It's just like another day. It's all marketed as it's perfectly fine and beautiful and glorious and loving.

Speaker 2:

So we hit those pain points. And loving so we hit those pain points If somebody were to say to me right after Christmas and I had something pop up in front of me that said, are you struggling with fatigue?

Speaker 1:

Are you feeling tired? I'm getting a new bed.

Speaker 2:

All this stuff pops at me right. Are you feeling a little lethargic? Do you not have as much energy when you wake up in the morning? Are you questioning yourself, sometimes feeling like you can't do enough or you're not enough? Right Post Christmas I'm sitting there exhausted, ate like shit, probably had too many cocktails. That ad pops up and I'm like check check, check. I need you in my life.

Speaker 1:

Yep, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Perfect Before.

Speaker 1:

I know it.

Speaker 2:

I've spent $300 on some stupid membership for something that I don't even need and that's not going to sustain me at all, or you're going on a new psych med. You're on a new psych med, okay, but. Okay, but in the spirit of doing some giggling here for our listeners, okay. So, terry, I did not tell Terry this everybody. So when Terry's talking here, I pulled something up on my computer and it is the original plan that Terry and I put together for launching our podcast.

Speaker 1:

Which was just a year ago, well, almost. We started talking about it in December of last year.

Speaker 2:

We started talking in December, so one year ago. And the goal, of course because I write stuff, right the goal that I wrote on here because I know this is not your writing, terry the goal says to take over the world, be bigger than Oprah Kidding not kidding we want to be at least in the top blank in the market within 12 months. Okay, we will be incentivized by March of 2025. Then we list off a lot of guests, right, that we like oh my gosh, these are our bucket list guests. They've got to come on our podcast. We've had almost every single one of them on our podcast the Brooksiems, the Dr Yosefs, you know, victoria Kleinsman, all the people We've had most of them all on our podcast, right.

Speaker 2:

But this plan we put together Giggle Not Giggle, though talks about it was very. There was a lot of smart goals within this and it was. Here's what it's all going to look like from workflow to audio video, to our teaser month we did, to frequency and duration of episodes, to socials and streaming and what that needs, to branding, to subscriber metrics, all of the things, right. So, hey, everybody, guess what? If you want to steal that information, I just said you can go ahead. But this is what we put together and there was nothing about this. That was not small. Each little incremental step has different pieces to it, right, and some of this stuff will hit, some of it will not, but I think that's a cool thing we share with our listeners now is because we just got all of our metrics from one of the platforms that just came through to us, that just popped. And, terry, I don't know if you want to read this, otherwise I get it up here too. It's up to you, but it's really it feels good it does.

Speaker 1:

And so we got done with our last podcast recording and this is going to be the last one of this year. And when we were done and the guest was gone, I said to Jen, I said this year. And when we were done and the guest was gone, I said to Jen I said I'm so proud of us, I am so proud of us for putting out an episode every single week without fail. I'm so proud of us for Jen and I do all the social media marketing ourselves. I'm so proud of us for putting all of that together and being so consistent. And this is the deal. When you think about the new year stuff too, is that consistency. And I will tell you that I didn't really have like take over the world and all these things as my goal in mind. I was more like I knew I just needed to be consistent. Like you know what I mean, like I didn't have these big crazy goals as my driving force for doing it. It was just about consistency.

Speaker 1:

And we said like having the accountability of each other, like I know if I would have done this by myself, that I probably would have stopped or it would have been like once a month. Sometimes you know what I mean, because you get fatigued. This is a fatiguing job everybody. It seems fun and it is super fun, but behind the scenes it's a lot of work, but the payoff is really fun. So it's really interesting because we did just get these graphics in our email today. So these are some of the stats for the Gaslit Truth podcast in 2024, which is great, because now we can look at the difference in 2025 and we get it. So we, you guys a round of applause we're in the top 50% of all podcasts on this platform. That's a huge, that's a huge deal to be in the top.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, especially when there's hundreds of thousands of podcasts on this platform, right we?

Speaker 1:

made it in the top half, like in our first year, in the first year, and that I cannot say that is just us, that is our listeners putting us there, so I am so grateful, and our guests too, and our guests too, so grateful for all the support we've had.

Speaker 2:

They market us as well. Really cool.

Speaker 1:

Yeah Well, 51 countries. Listen to us People in 51 countries.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, I got to give a shout out to our Canadian friends and our UK friends and our German friends and our Australian friends and, oh my goodness, yes.

Speaker 1:

Our top countries were obviously the United States. Canada, united Kingdom, australia and Germany are our top Surprise.

Speaker 2:

Ireland's not on there because we got some really good Irish followers.

Speaker 1:

That reach out and message us a lot too.

Speaker 2:

Yes, weirdly, but that's really really cool Ireland's not on there because we got some really good Irish followers that reach out and message us a lot too.

Speaker 1:

Yes, weirdly, they should be on Ireland, but that's really really cool. Yes, it's really cool, and you know, I think being in the top 50% of podcasts this is a huge platform that we're talking about here, that we publish our podcast on is really exciting, you know, and so that number can only grow. So they do that based on how many downloads you get in the first few days of your episodes and things like that. So we're doing I don't know where we are in the top 50%. We could be even higher than that, I have no idea, but 50% of the podcasts aren't doing as much as we are. You know, or it's a matter of not being consistent or, you know, just not having someone to help motivate you, things like that. But these were really cool things. So we've had 44 episodes, which is amazing to me to have 44 episodes. Again, I think I'm just like flabbergasted that we didn't miss a single week, not even for sickness, not even for anything Life.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I don't know the adulting shit that happens in life.

Speaker 1:

Yes, for a whole year.

Speaker 2:

From our kids, to ourselves, to our marriages, to, I don't know, our real other career that we have, mm-hmm, yep, it's just crazy. The other thing that I just want to point out real quickly is we brought this in one because it's the end of the year and this episode was not only about New Year's resolutions and being gaslit by some of that, but then also bringing in the last year's worth of, because these stats just fell right before we started recording.

Speaker 1:

They did. It was crazy.

Speaker 2:

So I'm like this is just crazy, but something that this tells me. And even when you're talking, terri, I get like there's a feeling. Like when you're talking about pride and you're talking about how well something is going, I can feel that when you're saying it Like I could tell I'm getting, I start welling up a little bit because I don't think I tell myself enough, like how proud I am of myself. I don't. Well, we don't.

Speaker 2:

And I think that's also part of this whole New Year's thing is how you know there are things that if you decide to make an intention, okay, and set yourself an intention, also look at how you have already done some of that in your life. Because I'm going to tell you, most of the intentions that we're going to set, it's not as though we haven't already done them or been working toward them. This is helpful because I know we're doing okay, but this just throws a bow on it and it's pretty and it's all the stats are there and I think that's where you're like holy shit. But when you're setting new year's intentions and what you want that next year to look like, go back and don't forget how much you've done already.

Speaker 1:

Right, right, like take some time to think about it. For a minute, I think when thinking about this, you know, with the, with the podcast, when Jen and I were going through this. So this, this is this my third or fourth time around on a podcast.

Speaker 2:

I think it's your fourth. It's my fourth, okay.

Speaker 1:

So I had some good knowledge about what it would be like coming into this one. You know so, and and Jen had the big ideas what's going to happen in a year, and I know in my mind yeah, I know in my mind yeah, the pitfalls of lack of consistency and things like that.

Speaker 1:

I knew that going in. So I knew if we're going to look at it from a smart goal thing like here's the big goal, but I knew that in order for me my part of this podcast, I would have to be very consistent and not down on myself. Okay, because I also went into this podcast with this. This is going to be different, this is going to be the podcast. Okay, I went in there If you remember that, that was last year I kept saying that, like, this is going to be different, this is the podcast. And look, look what's happening. Right, and I know that there were times that Jen was a little down because it wasn't going as big or as fast, you know, as she had hoped for.

Speaker 2:

As her Oprah vision.

Speaker 1:

Her Oprah vision.

Speaker 2:

Her Oprah vision.

Speaker 1:

It's still there.

Speaker 2:

It is still there. But what's really cool, when you have these SMART goals, you can look back and go. These were all the things we wanted to do. We've checked three quarters of those things off this list. I can take that plan we did so. That's part of what you've got to do as well when you're setting up these resolutions. It's the same kind of thing, but you've got to have it SMART, have it stack it, incorporate your story.

Speaker 1:

Change your story.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and then change it if you need to, and allow for agency to come from within and not from someone else telling you how it has to go. And, for the love of God, don't fall ploy to marketing and come in hot like a Mack truck because you're going to burn out by January 21st.

Speaker 1:

Yes, exactly, exactly, all right. So this wraps up our first season of the Gaslit Tree Podcast. It wraps up season one. We could not wrap this up without expressing tremendous gratitude to our followers and to our guests and Jen, to you for being my wonderful co-host on the show, and I'm looking forward to another amazing year on the show. Oh, thanks everybody. That was pretty sweet Terri. Yes, so send us your gaslit truth at the gaslit truth podcast at gmailcom and let's roll into 2025.

Speaker 2:

Thanks everyone.

People on this episode

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Dr. Teralyn

Co-host
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Jennifer Schmitz

Co-host