From OCD to Polypharmacy Hell: Safa Asgari's Fight for Mental Health Truth

Psychiatry's dark patterns know no borders. In this eye-opening conversation, Safa Asgari reveals his three-year journey through psychiatric treatment in Iran that mirrors the experiences of countless patients worldwide.

What begins as a straightforward OCD diagnosis quickly spirals into a nightmare of polypharmacy and cascading misdiagnoses. After experiencing severe side effects from Prozac, Safa finds himself labeled with bipolar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, and ADHD - each new diagnosis bringing additional medications rather than recognition of adverse drug reactions. At one point, he's simultaneously taking ten different psychiatric drugs.

"Deep down I had the feeling something was wrong," Safa explains, describing moments of clarity that persisted despite heavy medication. When he questioned treatments or reported worsening symptoms, his concerns were dismissed as further evidence of mental illness. Most disturbing is how he was threatened with electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) if he didn't comply with medication protocols.

Safa's testimony reveals the global nature of psychiatric gaslighting - how practitioners worldwide interpret medication side effects as new illnesses requiring more drugs, creating a harmful cycle that's nearly impossible to escape. His description of withdrawal symptoms paints a vivid picture of suffering that psychiatry continues to deny exists.

The turning point comes when Safa discovers online communities of psychiatric survivors and resources like Robert Whitaker's "Anatomy of an Epidemic." Armed with knowledge and validation, he begins trusting his ow

💥 Got a book, brand, podcast, event, or product? Stop begging algorithms for scraps. Put it where people actually listen.

This isn’t fluff. This isn’t polite. This is raw, unapologetic airtime that makes your message impossible to ignore.

🔥 Slide into our inbox. Be heard. Be bold.

💊 Ready to Deprescribe Your Psych Meds?

Psych meds have harmed us—and we’re not just survivors, we’re deeply educated in psychopharmacology, psychology, and nutrition. As hosts of The Gaslit Truth Podcast, we guide people safely off psychiatric medications with strategies grounded in science and brain health

🔥 You’ve been harmed. You’ve been dismissed. It’s time to take your brain back—with guidance from people who’ve been there and know their stuff.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Safa's Story
• 11:01 OCD and First Psychiatric Interventions
• 17:05 Polypharmacy and Multiple Hospitalizations
• 28:46 Cascading Misdiagnoses and Threats
• 36:05 Withdrawal Hell and Finding Support
• 45:21 Recovery and Lessons Learned

Transcript

Dr Teralyn Sell: 0:02

You've been gaslit into believing psychiatric meds are healing the truth they can create suffering that psychiatry denies. We are your deep-throating informants, dr Tara Lynn and therapist Jen, and this is the Gaslit Truth Podcast. Our guest today is Safa Eskeri. Safa has lived experience with psychiatric medications, including antidepressants and mood stabilizers. Safa has been through multiple treatments, faced serious side effects and is now deeply engaged in understanding psychiatric injury, protracted withdrawal and recovery. Safa's personal journey offers a powerful perspective on both the challenges and the realities of psychiatric care. Welcome to the show, safa.

Safa Asgari: 0:44

Thank you very much. Thanks for giving me this opportunity. It was really rewarding for me and it's really it's good to talk about this kind of thing and thanks a lot. I just I'm so grateful to be here.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 0:58

Yeah, we're happy to have you on the show and I just want to point out, like, like, you're across the globe this morning. So you're in Iran this morning, and I think that's the furthest we've ever had. And so what struck me the most is this type of psychiatric practice isn't just happening in the United States, it's happening across the globe, and I think to me that was the most profound when meeting you and hearing your story. So I think that's going to resonate with some listeners too, that this isn't just a USA issue, this is psychiatry across the board. So, with that in mind, what I want to do is just give the mic over to you and for you to begin to share the story that you want our listeners to know about you and what you've been through.

Safa Asgari: 1:49

Yes, sure. Actually, everything started from my childhood, when I developed OCD and when I was 15 or 16, I witnessed the first symptoms of OCD. And then in teenager time, when I was in high school, it got a little bit relapsed and that was the time that my mother took me to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me Prozac and it leads to have other multiple medication further and it was the time that it's totally destroyed my educational life in the school. I couldn't go to school because it was so sedative effect on my mind and I couldn't concentrate mind and I couldn't concentrate. And after that I decided to quit the medication and continue my life in university and I was very fine. I could manage the OCD very well, I had a very good social life.

Safa Asgari: 3:00

But after pandemic my OCD got worse and I couldn't just tolerate it. And it was the time that I look up for psychiatrists in the media and I was meeting with psychiatrist and he told me about the chemical imbalance theory and how low serotonin can lead to have OCD symptoms. I was convinced that it's totally true. He didn't mention anything about the adverse effect or side effects and the protracted withdrawal injury and he said that because of the high dopamine and low serotonin, you have OCD and if you couldn't manage by medication you're going to end up with a lot of consequences like psychosis or other disabilities. So I was terrified because that was the time I realized that the only option that I have to get through OCD is to take medication. And that was the time he prescribed me Prozac and after two weeks I got severe panic attacks, suicidal thoughts. It was the worst panic attack of my life that I have ever been experienced. So I contacted her and said about the new symptoms I got. He told me it was your own underlying condition and it's nothing to do with medication.

Safa Asgari: 4:34

And after that, after I quit the medication after two weeks of use, I developed new symptoms, very weird symptoms. I haven't had them before, like dualization, severe depression and maybe a little, if you consider spectrum, as akathisia, maybe a little form of akathisia. So I went to another psychiatrist. She told me that she didn't mention anything about the meds and she told me maybe you have underlying bipolar and these meds activate your bipolar genes. So you have bipolar. I said to her that I haven't had the background of bipolar, any mania symptoms like that. But she kept talking and convincing me that bipolar is a spectrum. It doesn't have to necessarily have many symptoms and you have bipolar because you reacted very severely to this medication. That was the time I said, oh my God, ocd itself is very severe. My god, ocd itself is very severe. And right now I have bipolar 2? Come on, it was too overwhelming for me and she said you have to take medication for the entire life. After that I got hospitalized. May I have the name of the drugs?

Dr Teralyn Sell: 6:12

You can say whatever you'd like to.

Safa Asgari: 6:15

Is it possible? Can you hear me? Yeah, we're having some connectivity issues. It seems like just a little bit T, zoloft chloropene, oh, shoot, hold on, hang on.

Therapist Jenn Schmitz: 6:28

Time out for a second. Let's wait six, hang on. Can you pause it for a sec here?

Safa Asgari: 6:34

yep, all right uh yeah, I was frightened, scared and overwhelmed. I couldn't make a decision. So, based on their knowledge, I just trust them and they suggested me to go and get hospitalized for three weeks. After you get stabilized you can leave.

Safa Asgari: 6:58

So it was my first hospitalization and it was really one of the very, very bad memory in my mind and I had a very bad experience because I couldn't bear all the emotions you know that people have there and they all suffer because of the side effects.

Safa Asgari: 7:18

Now that I realize they develop akathisia, they develop dystonia, and they didn't know anything about this kind of things and they all think it's because of their mental condition. It was a horrible experience for me and I was gaslit there many times about the medication. I told them I didn't have the symptoms before, prior to starting this meds and all they said it was the same occurrence your relapse and you're starting the medication. They both started at the same time. That's why you keep trying to convince us that something's wrong with you and OCD can change in teams and themes and it's just your mental condition. Nothing to do with myths. It was the sentence I was told many times and after that I got released from the hospital, I went home and after a while I got a little bit relief from OCD, but I developed emotional bonding and I couldn't think and concentrate because of this.

Therapist Jenn Schmitz: 8:28

Heavy medications I was tolerated, so after three months and which Taffa to pause for just a second. So when you started on the Prozac and you took that for a couple of weeks, you stopped that Prozac. You were told by the doctor that your bipolar genes are activated. That's what's happening. So now you also have bipolar. Did you start another medication, or did it not start until you went in inpatient?

Safa Asgari: 9:30

Yes, I started the lithium. Yes, I started lithium, Zoloft, Klonopin, All at the same time, yes, all of that the same Pimozide. They say you have to take all of this because every each of them is going to fix one part of your neurotransmitters Things like this and I was like brainwashed at the time. Yes, can I ask you because I was frightened, because how old were you?

Dr Teralyn Sell: 10:00

yeah, safa, how old were you when this was all happening?

Safa Asgari: 10:04

I'm. I was 26 26.

Therapist Jenn Schmitz: 10:07

Wow, okay, so inpatient led to this cocktail of all those medications, medications.

Safa Asgari: 10:14

Yes, yes, okay Okay.

Therapist Jenn Schmitz: 10:16

Okay. So then you were saying, once you got out yep.

Safa Asgari: 10:19

Yeah, Deep down in God feeling, I had the feeling that something is wrong. It's. It couldn't be the only the man. You can't just blame all of this in my mental health condition, because I had the lead experience of 30 years, 26 years of OCD and I haven't had experienced the symptoms like this. So it was so weird for me.

Safa Asgari: 10:43

From the beginning I had brain fog and I couldn't concentrate and I got a little bit relief from the depression, but I got the feeling that I couldn't perceive and feel the positive emotions. It was so overwhelming and so annoying for me because I was so artistic I really like to listen to musics, make progress in my field and continue my education. It was like a heavy, severe, I don't know tragedy for me. And after that, after two or three months, I called to my psychiatrist. I said enough is enough, I can't just bear, I can't live a normal life with this medication and I think there are blood, some part of my brain functioning. I didn't know how to say it scientifically, but I was just explaining my symptoms to him and he said okay, we can taper you off in two weeks and if it's meds, you will point out that it's not just meds.

Therapist Jenn Schmitz: 11:58

Off all these meds, two weeks, all of these right, you're on the.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 12:02

Zoloft the lithium Simphalta and then like take a lot of things together. But wait, did I just hear you say that he said it kind of to prove a point yes, sure he was taking you off to prove a point yes, sure, sure he was taking you off to prove a point that it wasn't the medications?

Safa Asgari: 12:18

exactly, exactly. He said because you had OCD, it's genetic basis and you, you should have started this medication long time ago and you need this medication. It was like obligatory you you know, and I didn't have anyone to have to say to show the direct path for me. I only had the psychiatrist and because of the very severe symptoms I had after Prozac, I got very severe suicidal thoughts. I got very severe suicidal thoughts. It was totally tragedy for me because I was alone and I had a severe impulsive urges of suicidality and I didn't know it was a catagia. I was convinced that it's bipolar because of the severity. And after that he tapered me off in two weeks. You can't believe me. I was very, very fine for three or five days. I was super fine, I was functional. I had the best feeling ever. It was kind of relief from the medication and OCD altogether. But I didn't know it's going to be a very brutal withdrawal after two weeks.

Safa Asgari: 13:40

After two weeks I had the severe suicidal thoughts, urges, crippling anxiety, crippling anxiety. I couldn't just walk out the house and I feel like I had OCD symptoms for disease. I was scared and my OCD is related to HIV and right now I have anxiety 24-7. Why it's happening. What is wrong with me? So I called her again and I said that I develop new symptoms, very severe anxiety I can't tolerate and I tolerated for one month to see what happened, but it was very severe, I couldn't just manage it. So I called this psychiatrist and he told me that you've got a severe relapse and you have to keep taking this medication. Relapse and you have to keep taking this medication. My second hospitalization began and that was the time they they again I trust them more than past because of the, because of the withdrawal, and they label it as relapse. I I was convinced that I had a severe condition. I have to take meds. So again they did a polypharmacy for me. They put me on many other medications, this time Cymbalta, carbamazepine, clonopine, haldo and one other medication.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 15:12

Yes, yes.

Safa Asgari: 15:14

And in the hospital I was like why I'm getting worse and why I develop new symptoms over and over again. And hypersalivation was really bothering me. It was 24-7, and I had restlessness of legs. I couldn't sleep at night and I think I got tolerated for Klonopin because I couldn't sleep with one milligram Klonopin. So after two weeks I got released from the hospital and got back home.

Safa Asgari: 16:02

This time I was feeling terrible All meds, interactions, side effects. It was a terrible experience. I couldn't feel anything, I couldn't talk to my mom, I couldn't feel the joy and I couldn't stop the medication because of their guidelines. And after two months I went to see another psychiatrist in our hometown and he told me you have a schizoaffective disorder because you're feeling delusional and you are suicidal. This is the two main symptoms of schizoaffective disorder. And because your OCD got to place and it's changed, turned into schizoaffective, I said that the other psychiatrist labeled me as a bipolar. He said it's not clear. We have to give it a time. You have to give this medication enough time to see what happens. And if you don't accept this treatment, I say to you that you're going to have ECT therapy because you're not taking and not following our regulations and this was the time that I was lost and I couldn't do anything.

Safa Asgari: 17:28

I'm really feeling regret right now because I didn't check the internet once through all the time. I didn't check the internet once through all the time. If I would do this, I would exactly explore all of the details about the withdrawal or other adverse effects of these drugs or maybe realize about all of the gaslighting effects. But I couldn't and I'm so really feeling guilty right now. But after that he put me on Vibutrin and he added Vibutrin and didn't change other medications.

Safa Asgari: 18:05

After I got Vibutrin I was like I was having very weird thoughts, I feel. I felt derealization, depersonalization and it was like everything was veered. I couldn't feel anything and I had very severe intrusive thoughts and it was like hell. It was like hell and at the time I didn't notice that all can happen from the midst. I was feeling that I have a very severe OCD, bipolar and schizoaffective disorder all at the same time and I was like why God I have all of these after starting meds? Before starting meds, I only had OCD. So I've been to another psychiatrist. You can't believe me. She told me you have ADHD.

Therapist Jenn Schmitz: 18:58

Oh my God, I'm sorry to laugh, but like this is your story is there's going to be so many people listening that are like, yep, me too. Any real concrete evidence, and yet you have this. Okay, so now you have ADHD. So were you given a stimulant too?

Safa Asgari: 19:29

Yes, I was given Ritalin and he said to me, right to my face and my mom, and he said he's pretending that he has very severe condition. Now wait.

Therapist Jenn Schmitz: 19:43

Wait, now you're pretending You're feigning mental illness. Okay, yes.

Safa Asgari: 19:48

He told me maybe he had in DSM-5, we have a disorder that you're pretending that you have severe mental health.

Safa Asgari: 19:57

Malingering, maybe, yes, maybe maybe. He said to me we are giving you all the medication and you can't wake up early in the morning and you can't go for running and you are annoying your mom. So if you can't trust us, if you can't be functional, it's your problem, it's not the myths. And I was like I was screaming to my mom Mom, please help me. I don't know what is going on, but I think that something is wrong with me and I can't tolerate this myth. And she was like she has no idea. She said you once you tapered off your medication and you were very, uh, bad. You were feeling very bad and on the medication you are feeling the bad as well. So I don't know what to do. You're really, uh, you are really annoying person. She was like overwhelmed, she didn't know what to do. You're really, you're a really annoying person. She was like overwhelmed, she didn't know how to react.

Safa Asgari: 21:01

And after that I got Ritalin for two weeks and I was on, I think, 10 medication at the same time, 10 or 8. And I was very, I was feeling suicidal and I couldn't breathe. I had a very hard beating and I had very physical symptoms. I couldn't sleep at night. I was having some euphoria symptoms. It was like a mix of all the feeling emotions. It was like another level of hell or another level of leaving. You know, I can't come up with the exact word to describe it. After two months I barely could just survive all the effects of this medication. I got my third hospitalization and the last hospitalization and I went to psychiatrists. All the members were sitting and they were like you are one of our patients.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 22:07

We haven't seen you. You're the worst one we've ever seen. You're the worst.

Safa Asgari: 22:10

Yes, you are resistant to depression. You have resistant depression disorder, ocd, eschizoeffective, and we can't control it. Do you want to go to ECT therapy? I said no. So he said give us two weeks to think about this and after that they come up with an idea. We change you and we turn you back to lithium because you are suicidal and maybe we add another antidepressant. But first of all we have to get you off from this range of medications and we started again lithium.

Safa Asgari: 22:50

So I was like I went to another psychiatrist. He didn't and it was like at the time I was uh, come off all the, all the medications and I do all of again severe withdrawal. I didn't know what is going on. I was very uh. I had many symptoms, I couldn't walk, but I really wanted to survive. Something inside me wanted me to survive with all of the emotions and once, when I heal, I'm going to share my story. It was the same mindset I had at the time.

Safa Asgari: 23:26

I went to another psychiatrist at the same time. I ran out of hospital and went to another psychiatrist. He didn't mention anything about the withdrawal and he said your OCD can't, we can't cure your OCD without the medication. He wrote another prescription. I came back to hospital and I spoke with my psychiatrist and my psychologist. My psychologist said based on your previous background, please trust again your first psychiatrist. And I followed the rules. And after two weeks I got prescribed lithium, zoloft, haldol and Klonopin again. Again I don't know why they decided to do this. And after two months I was like I'm done with medication. I have to do something because it's not real me. I have to figure out what's going on. I went to another psychiatrist. He said they literally destroyed your mental health. I'm so sorry and I have nothing to say there. He told me this statement and he was so angry. But again he tapered me in two weeks and he had Paxil and clomofram.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 24:46

I had so much hope. I had so much hope for this part of the story. Like you, met a psychiatrist who's like we did you dirty. We did you so dirty and then that psychiatrist did you dirty again. I'm like that's so much hope.

Safa Asgari: 25:00

Yes, exactly Exactly. He said you have only OCD. He didn't accept the other labels. He was a little bit hopeful and relieved for me but he started another medications and not realizing and not thinking about all the things that I have been through like poop out, withdrawal interactions, akatesia, nothing. He mentioned nothing to me and only said, yeah, resistant OCD and you have to start this medication. And he also mentioned that your ser serotonin level, we have to boost your serotonin level and I was like all these years they haven't boosted yet, are you sure? I'm so glad you were still able to think critically during this time, like that.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 25:49

I mean, to me that's like the saving grace of the whole story is that you were able to still come out and think critically about yourself, which a lot of people can't do that when they are chemically restrained, right, like that's that whole problem. So I'm like the. The idea that you could think critically is incredible at this point.

Safa Asgari: 26:10

Yeah, exactly Because of all I have been through. I had the experience so it was time to have critical thinking. And every time I'm complaining about my symptoms, all of them label I love them blaming on my OCD. They say you have OCD, you question a lot, you have a lot of things in your mind. We have to calm those area with this medications. Every time that I got new symptoms, they labeled on my OCD.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 26:40

Your OCD was weaponized basically as a rationale.

Safa Asgari: 26:45

Yes, exactly and after that I gave two months for them Paxil and Clomopramine and after that I told my mom I don't care about anything either. I have to wear off these all medications and come back to my old myself. I really need my old myself and I'm missing him. And she said okay, you can do it by your own. And after I did a taper, I haven't had the knowledge about the tapering and micro tapering and hyperbolic tapering. I haven't watched any related videos about the medication risks, anything related. So I did it in two weeks and I asked one of my friends. He said you will give it three months and you will be okay after three months. So I trusted him and so I did have two weeks taper and after that again for one week.

Safa Asgari: 27:44

I don't know what's happening after we taper off our medications. I have heard a lot that people say for two or three weeks we experienced very good mental health and we were very happy, and then we go in hits. So I was again fine for two weeks and I was, I was. I got back to my job, I got back to my educational process and after two weeks I got severe anxiety Again, severe anxiety and depression at the same time and for two months, for four months, I slept every day for, I think, two or one hour.

Safa Asgari: 28:25

For four or five months I couldn't sleep. It was crippling anxiety, suicidal thoughts and severe depression and inner restlessness. For six or seven months, after seven or eight months of pure hell, I got my anxiety level has calmed down a little bit and I got severe anhedonia for seven or eight months with severe racing thoughts, severe racing memory. It was like my memory, it was like playing and had connection with my subconscious mind. It was like all mixed thoughts from my childhood, from my adulthood, and it was so weird thoughts and it was terrible. It was terrible at the same time. I couldn't sleep, like I had severe anxiety, severe racing and ocd faults. After eight months I was, uh, googling and I found, uh, uh, what was her book name? One of the greatest human beings on the earth. I couldn't remember his name, sorry, he was an Instagram blogger.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 29:46

Oh, Brooksie, oh, brooksie, now I remember, yes, yes.

Safa Asgari: 29:52

I found that he was advocating about this kind of things and I DM her and asked her from her and he she said I can't do the one-on-one meeting but I can do something for you. He introduced me to Angie Peacock.

Safa Asgari: 30:08

I got yeah, he was. Both of them were so sweet and so kind. I'm really grateful for have them because, uh, they they really did me a very high favor. So I can't forgot what they did to me and he gave me two sessions of her. It was life-saving for me really and they helped me a lot and I could I could have navigated the symptoms of withdrawal a little bit and I reached the antidepressantsurvivororg websites and I could find help from the forums from angie from brooksim. They always ask for my well-being. Forums from Angie from Brooksym. They always ask for my well-being and they're my great friends. Then I follow many people on Instagram, youtube and I read the book Anatomy of Epidemic. I educated myself and it's been 17 months of protracted withdrawal. Right now I'm here.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 31:07

I just only had five minutes of five-minute windows for all these months, but I'm grateful for that I'm grateful that you, across the world, found some of these instrumental people Like that's. To me, that's that's just the power of Google and the internet, right? So, um, and I'm grateful that you're here.

Therapist Jenn Schmitz: 31:30

I was just going to. I was going to say that, safa, it's amazing that you are alive, truly alive, and sitting in front of us and being able to share the story, something you said was even in like one of the hardest moments of this. There was something inside of you that was like I have to live through this, I have to tell this story, I have to share this, which is profound to me, okay, and like the darkest spaces that we're at in our life, we can pull ourselves out going. Nope, I'm not going to let this take me down From start to finish, okay, and I'm going to just air quote start to finish. How long was this process, from the time psych meds were introduced to you in your life, all the way through getting through all this withdrawal and being in front of us how long of a process was this for you? How many years?

Safa Asgari: 32:26

It's about three years. Three years, it's about three years.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 32:30

Yeah, Sorry my English is not perfect. Oh no, you're doing great.

Safa Asgari: 32:35

It's been a long time I couldn't practice because of cognitive impairment and a lot of things that I couldn't practice. Yeah, you're doing great.

Therapist Jenn Schmitz: 32:44

Yeah, it's amazing the ability to even have the higher order thinking that comes into play to be able to do this, and have the higher order thinking that comes into play to be able to do this, given the amount and the type of medications that were put in your body over the years.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 33:02

I'm still in the space where I'm like, wow, this happens in your country too. And then I'm wondering, because I just don't know. I mean, I'm guessing that you have a choice like autonomy a little bit, over your medical care in Iran, right, I mean, otherwise you wouldn't have been able to get off of these meds. Or is that untrue? Because you were literally sat in front of a group of people saying we're right, you're wrong, this is what you need to do if you're going to survive. Do you feel that you had any personal ability to make that choice? Did you have the ability to make that choice, or do you feel like you did not have the ability to make those choices?

Safa Asgari: 33:41

Unfortunately, I didn't have the opportunity because you know, it's like the same story. I went through all the psychiatrists and they told me the same things over and over again. It was like how can I get through all this gaslighting effect and find my way? It was like I don't know how to say. It was like a miracle for me to be alive and to be here, because no one helped me not my mom, not my dad. They trusted psychiatrists more than me and I give credit for them because they only follow the protocols you know. But after all the hardship I have been through, I really wanted my mom to give me one time that I really trusted you and I know what they did to you. It was tragic, it was a crime against humanity, but she never told me. But I'm blessed that I'm people that can understand my situation, but not a single person here in youtube or instagram uh, have a con to talk about this kind of things can.

Therapist Jenn Schmitz: 35:09

Can you talk, uh, speak to? You mentioned e Safa and how you were told that, like if you so your words were summing to the effective if you don't follow the medication regimen and follow through with this, we are going. The next step is going to be ECT. Is that something that like what you felt there was? Like that, wasn't it? Like I have to take these meds or I'm going to have to have electroshock therapy.

Safa Asgari: 35:36

Sure, sure. They really threatened me with this kind of things that if you don't take your meds regularly, you're going to face ECT therapy. They spoke right to my face and I was terrified because I was like ECT is very dangerous and I have to avoid this. So I had the only option to trust them. Nothing, nothing to have and the Internet. You know, there are little information. There are very little information about this medication and the risk of this medication, about this medication and the risk of this medication. Or I, very lately, it was a long delay for me to find the antidepressant survival website and other people. It was too late. I was about to end my life. Unfortunately, If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here. Yeah.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 36:31

Yeah, I just want to pause Like that kind of took my breath away. I'm I again. I just want to say I'm so glad that you are here and I'm so glad that your voice can be heard on our platform and hopefully on many others too, because I think your story is so worth hearing and the the things that strike me the most are just, you know, when you said, sitting around this table or whatever, you're the worst we've ever seen, and I'm thinking, yeah, because you guys all did this to him, all of you had a part in making this person worse, and nobody was willing to accept responsibility or even consider the idea that psychiatric medications made you far worse than just the OCD that you originated with. This is the part like if somebody would have just taken the time and this is for everybody just have somebody take the time to listen to your whole story. If you come in and you're one way and you exit the psychiatric program and you are way worse than when you started, that is a problem of medication. That's not a. Your psychiatric profile has changed so much that now you've got all these massive diagnostics attached to you. As a matter of fact, that's a misuse of the DSM, because that's not even supposed to happen. If these things happen post-medication, new diagnoses should not happen post medication. That is a misuse of the diagnostic manual in and of itself, but yet it happens constantly, constantly.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 38:07

So, yeah, I just keep thinking about like nobody thought, like what is this kid's history? Cause you were young, you were your kid, like essentially, I mean, I know you're a man, but you know you're, you're a young male and nobody considered your history in any of this. And that is the most fascinating part to me. Um, I was so hopeful with that one psychiatrist that you had, so, like I was like hinging on the edge of like yes, you know, superman Savior came in with a cape on and they didn't. And I was like God dang, so close. But I think the moral of the story is is that I think people inherently know, I think we know within us what is happening to us and we need to pay attention to ourselves. And Jen and I talk about this here. We call it reestablishing a sense of personal agency, right, the ability to tap into what you know and move in those directions, even if everyone else is telling you no right. And so the funny part too, because Jen and I.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 39:11

We worked in severe mental health locations right in the States, and part of the thing that we used to say at least I used to say, I'll speak for myself is if you're denying that you have mental health problems, that just means you have more mental health problems. If you're denying that these medications don't work for you or you need something, that just means that you need different medications. We didn't listen. We did not listen to the person, just the way you were not listened to, and we've held ourselves accountable for this over and over and over again. But it's true and it still happens today to our clients. We need to start listening to the people who are coming to us suffering, because the not listening is causing more pain and more suffering and causing people to take their lives, and that is the hill I'm going to die on today.

Therapist Jenn Schmitz: 40:00

So I am curious, Safa, what is the good now that you experience? What are the things you can feel or or experience now that you couldn't before, and it's just like so fantastic.

Safa Asgari: 40:14

I think I had the opportunity to visit many psychiatrists and psychologists and after that I had a very great gift. I mean, I had the mindset and none of them is going to help me. No one is listening to my what is going on in my mind, all of them judging me or labeling me. And whenever I go to psychologist, he always blamed on my OCD. Every sentence comes out from my mouth he was blaming on my OCD. You have OCD, so you have to do this. He didn't anything about you, made OCD to become a strength and we can now work on it.

Safa Asgari: 41:00

Doesn't give me scary things or statements that if you couldn't cure your OCD, you're going to face a lot of psychosis or ischia affective. And maybe one people come out and say to me okay, you have OCD and you have high level of anxiety and I know you are struggling, but we can guide you, we can help you without labeling you, without giving you medications. And just listen to me. None of them listened to me enough and I feel very bad and offended by many psychologists and psychiatrists Because of my psychologist. I have decided to take medication because she said to me that if you couldn't take medication, you're going to make a lot of problems for your family. You're going to face psychosis and this kind of things. And because also guilt.

Safa Asgari: 42:02

Yeah, exactly, they're so sensitive and they they're so sensitive about their environment. They're deep thinkers. I was really a freak out. So sensitive about their environment, their deep thinkers. I was really freaked out. So now that I have a strength to not believe anything from psychologists, psychiatrists that know you have to take this medication, we have articles and now I know what's going to take and what are the risks, what are the outcomes, what are the long-term effects of this medication? In ADHD bipolar, I read one of the greatest books, anatomy of Epidemic, and I know many things. Right now I feel like it's like asteroids. Yes, exactly.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 42:43

Jen's holding the book up Homing through this again.

Therapist Jenn Schmitz: 42:45

Damn it, robert. How many times are you going to say damn it, robert? How many times are you going to say damn it, robert? Robert Roediger.

Safa Asgari: 42:51

You know, after being drawn from medication, my OCD like asteroid compared to my prior OCD and right now I'm feeling 1 million times worse than before starting medication. But I know what is going on I have. I'm aware about my symptoms and anything happening around me. I know how to manage it. Right now it's really.

Therapist Jenn Schmitz: 43:17

You've got control. You actually have control over something that feels uncontrollable if that makes sense, like you have, because you know it's not you.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 43:27

Because you know it's not you, you know that it wasn't something a broken brain that you just have to deal with, right? So you've come to this realization that they were all stupidly wrong, like they were stupidly wrong, and your intuition is incredibly right, and I feel like you still have that little voice inside your head going listen, this is not me and I can get through this, and that is basically. I'll put one word on it. It's hope, like you still have hope and you have a sense of self in there and you're trying to swim to the top of a very deep water. So, with that hope of getting to the top, so, man, your story is incredible. Getting to the top. So, man, your story is incredible, and I'm still blown away that this is happening on such a global level. Yeah, and I'm glad your voice is here, by the way. So is there anything else that you would like our listeners to know?

Safa Asgari: 44:39

listeners to know. I think if you have mental condition I mean I really wanted to quote from Dr Peter Brigham going to psychiatry is one of the most terrible things or one of the most dangerous things you can do in the world. I now really know that he's totally right in the world. I now know that he's totally right and when I was in hospital, when I was in home, I was brutally being alone in the home and being tortured by this side effect. When I come up with his video that he told about the psychiatrist when you go through, went through psychiatrist, and he prescribed you this meds and he doesn't realize that he at the time he's destroying your life with this medication. So I was crying a lot because I really feel the empathy from this video. It was like I was like it. It was me, my mother sat around me and he, he realized that I'm, I was a different person, but my psychiatrist and psychologist didn't realize this.

Safa Asgari: 45:39

So I think you can control your anxiety, your ocd, any other things, by just validating okay, I have anxieties. There is a signal. I have to address root cause, not just blunt all of your emotions and doesn't do anything and doesn't fixing your neurotransmitters. It's. The only thing it did is to just blunt all of your emotions and make you to become a zombie. And I know some people benefit from medication. But we have to know about the risk of this medication. Like tolerance withdrawal, like akathisia, like protracted withdrawal, emotional blunting One medication gives you some side effects. They add another medication to fix that side effect and it leads to have polar pharmacy in all of the misdiagnosis and it can totally destroy, sabotage your life. Please be aware about all the risks. Yeah, just this.

Dr Teralyn Sell: 46:40

All right. Well, I have a statement to read before we wrap up totally, and I feel like this is a good place to do it. If you've been harmed by SSRI or SNRI withdrawal, your story matters. We're calling on you to submit your experience to the FDA's MedWatch system. Let's make it impossible for them to ignore us. Join us in submitting your story at antidepressantinfoorg. And if you have hung out with us this far, please like, comment, share, subscribe, especially share this episode. It's so important, um, and if you're going to give us stars, give us all the stars or don't bother at all. So send us your gaslit true stories at the gaslit true podcast at gmailcom, and thank you for being here thanks thank you, thank you a lot.