Med Stacked As a Teenager Until Young Adulthood, Now I'm Finding Home In A Body Once Silenced

Start with a simple premise: what if the “problem” wasn’t you, but a system that muted your body’s signals and called it care? We sit down with Rachel Reynolds—garden coach, sensitive soul, and antidepressant survivor—to trace a decade-long arc from teen prescriptions to tricyclics, stacked medications, and a side effect no one wanted to own: urinary retention so severe basic routines became a battle. Her story is candid, specific, and, ultimately, empowering.

Rachel maps the medication maze—Prozac’s early lift, the slide to amitriptyline, and a carousel of add-ons and cross-tapers that never addressed root causes. We unpack how side effects get mislabeled as “anxiety,” why spironolactone for acne collides with psychiatric meds more than most realize, and how dermatology’s quick fixes can ignore inflammation, gut health, and liver load. When a self-directed taper brought withdrawal roaring in—anhedonia, nausea, sensory overwhelm—Rachel feared her personality was a pharmaceutical illusion. Instead, as she listened inward, boundaries sharpened and misaligned work fell away.

The pivot came through terrain-based healing. With

Savorista Coffee is offering our listeners 25% off their premium craft decaf and half caf blends with bold flavors, ethically sourced beans, and natural decaffeination. Small-batch roasted for exceptional taste. E

Use promo code GASLIT at checkout! 

https://savorista.com/discount/GASLIT

Kenshō Cocktails by RSRV Collective are premium, non-alcoholic drinks crafted to deliver bold, sophisticated flavors inspired by classic cocktails—alcohol-free indulgence. Enjoy an exclusive discount 30% off using code GASLIT at checkout

Good for anything purchased; it’s the best deal, and can’t be found anywhere else.

https://rsrvcollective.com/discount/GASLIT

💊 Ready to Deprescribe Your Psych Meds?

Psych meds have harmed us—and we’re not just survivors, we’re deeply educated in psychopharmacology, psychology, and nutrition. As hosts of The Gaslit Truth Podcast, we guide people safely off psychiatric medications with strategies grounded in science and brain health

🔥 You’ve been harmed. You’ve been dismissed. It’s time to take your brain back—with guidance from people who’ve been there and know their stuff.

Chapters

• 0:00 Cold Open: Gaslighting And Awakening
• 0:31 Hosts’ Mission And Deprescribing Offer
• 0:50 Meet Rachel: Background And Work
• 1:30 Teen Years: First Prescriptions And Prozac High
• 3:15 Tricyclics And Alarming Side Effects
• 5:00 Urinary Retention And Medical Dismissal
• 7:36 Switching Doctors And Stacked Meds
• 9:20 Failed Cross-Tapers And Cost Frustrations
• 11:37 Wellbutrin Comparison And Appetite Crash
• 13:27 Self-Directed Taper And Severe Withdrawal
• 15:57 Identity Fears And Emotional Whiplash
• 17:47 Naming The Symptom: Pelvic Floor And Nerve Disconnect
• 19:57 How Common Is Amitriptyline And Why It’s Misused
• 21:27 Acne Spiral: Antibiotics To Spironolactone
• 23:27 Contraindications With SSRIs Called Out
• 25:07 Root Causes: Gut, Liver, And Candida
• 26:47 Protocols: Diet, Biofilms, And Herbs
• 28:47 Purpose, Boundaries, And Business Realignment
• 30:47 Food As Medicine And Renewed Intuition
• 33:40 Community, Herbalism, And Agency
• 35:50 Closing Reflections And Listener CTA

Transcript

SPEAKER_03: 0:01

She was gaslit by her doctors. She followed the plan, but the answers never came. Only more pills. Until she realized she wasn't broken. She just needed to come home to her body. We are your whistleblowing shrinks, Dr. Terrelid and Therapist Jen. And this is the Gaslit Truth Podcast signature survivor story. Before we crack this wide open, hit like, smash, subscribe, and if you're on YouTube, ring that bell so you don't miss a thing.

SPEAKER_00: 0:31

And just remember, guys, Dr. Terry and I, we are deep prescribers. We help people get off psychiatric medications safely for the brain and the body. So if you're thinking about getting off of your medications, give us a holler. Shoot us an email at thegastletruthpodcast at gmail.com and we will help deprescribe your meds and your lifestyle. Everybody, our special guest today is Rachel Reynolds. She is our signature survivor story. We're going to welcome her to the show. Rachel is an antidepressant youth survivor, sensitive soul, and Houston garden-based coach, helping people restore gardens for wildlife. Welcome to the show, Rachel.

SPEAKER_03: 1:08

Wait, she's a Houston-based garden coach, Jen. Yeah. She's not a Houston garden. You said Houston garden-based.

SPEAKER_00: 1:16

I didn't say Houston. Oh man. Well, you know what?

SPEAKER_03: 1:21

It's because we're live. I think it's because we're going live. So I can't follow words. That's right.

SPEAKER_02: 1:27

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03: 1:29

All right. So you've got quite a story you'd like to share with our listeners. And where would you like to begin with that story?

SPEAKER_02: 1:36

Probably when I got on drugs in the first place. I think I was probably like 15. And looking back, it's like that's so young. You know, I mean, I just can't even believe that this happened. But I I went through some things in high school and middle school that are typically like it's normal stuff, you know, things with maybe like friend groups or or clicks. I ended up getting involved with like smoking weed. So that was, you know, not a good choice on my part, but it did contribute to like some distress within my family, or just, you know, it I got in trouble, you know, basically. And I lost some friends over some just stuff that happened. And so I was like, I'm depressed, you know, I'm I was sad. And so I went, they put me in therapy because I was like, I'm depressed, I'm having anxiety. And even as a kid, like I've always just been a really perceptive person, really perceptive. I I sense vibes very, you know, strongly. And I didn't realize that that was like, you know, a superpower. Now it was just like I was registering at a anxiety as anxiety. It kind of is anxiety, you know, when you're perceiving a lot of stuff, like it's overwhelming sometimes. And I I would overthink things. But so anyway, I did talk therapy for a while, and then my therapist was basically like, Yeah, I can't help you like go get on some drugs because I, you know, basically just sent me to a psychiatrist. And they put me on ProZac, and I can I can remember the day it started working. It was it was great. I felt awesome, and I was like, wow, I basically was having problems more like a manic episode. Because I worked as a lifeguard and I worked like a 12-hour shift, and I was like, I feel amazing, you know. But you know, it as time went on, whatever, it it stops working. Stops working. They're like, oh, well, let's put you on something else. Go to Cymbalta. That stops working. They're like, okay, I end up going to this one doctor who he was like this 80-year-old guy, and he put me on quote, the the product or the the drug that he would give to a family member if they were depressed. And so he put me on emipermine, which is a tricyclic antidepressant. Nobody prescribes this class anymore. Nobody, because it sucks so bad. Yeah. Like after I was reading about it, I'm like, wait, so nobody takes this except me anymore?

SPEAKER_03: 3:52

Like, you know, no, his friends would take it because Emily because he would prescribe it to his family.

SPEAKER_02: 3:58

Yeah, but you know, he's he's older. I think that was probably just that was the drug that you know was great. I don't know. So that happens, and then I'm also I've always been a bad sleeper. Terrible sleep hygiene on that on my part, but just I've really always been kind of a night owl. Like, I hate going to bed. I just want to stay up and do my little activities, you know. So I would always have trouble sleeping. So then he was like, Well, let me switch you to a different tricyclic antidepressant. He didn't even use the word TCA, he just said, Let me put you on a different med. So he puts me on ametryptaline, which I was then on for the next, I guess, maybe six or so years up until last April when I finally quit. But the the thing that really made me quit, I started having side effects pretty much right after starting to get on that class of antidepressants. And the most prominent one was that I could not go to the bathroom. Like I and not not poop. That's fine. I could not pee. So you you know, like any literally any normal person, you sit on the toilet and you immediately go. You don't even have to really think about it. But I'm sitting there and I'm like, I can't go. Like, I have to really think about it and focus on relaxing my pelvic floor to make myself go to the bathroom. And I knew that it was a side effect from the drug because I I Googled it honestly. And but it wasn't big enough of a deal to me for whatever reason, or I just didn't want to go through another med transition, you know. I did inquire to him about getting off, and he said, Well, it's like taking off glasses and putting putting them back on, you know, life is gonna be how it was before if you stop.

SPEAKER_03: 5:35

I'm like, Oh, well, that's that's a new wait, that's a new line of manipulation. I've not heard that. I know you're like taking off glasses, take off your glasses. And you won't see, like, I have I mean, Jen and I have talked about so much manipulative language, but that's new. This is a new one, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 5:50

Yeah, glasses. He's used that on me multiple times. And honestly, I don't even think this man was trying to gaslight me. I genuinely think he just is not updated on new medications or anything. He's just like I think he was close to retirement. But so it it kind of really started to bother me because I started dating somebody and I would have an extra hard time at his house. Like I was just so clenched, I was so anxious and nervous, whether or not it was because I liked him or whatever, but I I was just so clenched, and I finally was like, I finally told him what was going on. I was like, look, I have this like chronic issue, you know. And it's so it was so hard to talk about because no one has this problem. Like, no one really related. You know what's bad when you're on the seventh page of Google looking for someone with this same symptom and you still can barely find anything. I'm on a Reddit thread from nine years ago with somebody being like, Oh yeah, that happened to me too. I didn't ever figured it out.

SPEAKER_03: 6:45

And she was 80. Person on Reddit was 80.

SPEAKER_00: 6:51

So I yeah. So you felt, I mean, you were alone, you were kind of alone in it, just seeking to find like to confirm like what you knew was going on, probably, right? You just couldn't pinpoint it.

SPEAKER_02: 7:03

I went to pelvic floor physical therapy, like you know, I just and every person I told was just kind of like, what? That's really weird. My therapist at the time, I did end up telling her about a year prior to me deprescribing, and she was horrified. She was like, What? Like, she was the first person to be like, get off that immediately. Like, you need to talk to someone immediately. And I was like, Yeah. So I ended up switching doctors. I was like, Let me just get a different doctor, and she is horrified, you know, at what I've been prescribed. And she was like, you know, why don't we just put you on something else? So I'm like, great, no, something else, sure. So instead of taking me off of amitryptaline, she adds on Trentellix. Hate, hate that medication.

SPEAKER_03: 7:50

I have not heard good things about Trintelics. It's it's like a new, I don't know if it's new, but it's new in the vernacular here, like in the in the ether. I'm hearing more and more. And yeah, it I hear the exact same thing. So she didn't take you off of wait, she was horrified, yet not horrified enough to take you off of the original the ametryptaline.

SPEAKER_02: 8:14

That was the plan was to to start me on that one and then take me off on this cross-taper cross tape.

SPEAKER_00: 8:20

Okay. So did she can I just curious, did your per prescriber acknowledge the the idea that the urinary retention and issues that you were having? Because I know there's some like you're gonna probably get to it, some of the other gallbladder pain, the things that you were going through. Did she acknowledge that that could that that was a function of either the amatriptyline or even the Prozac? This and bulk? I mean, you went through a cocktail of drugs. So was it acknowledged that the drugs were the cause, the root cause of the issue?

SPEAKER_02: 8:48

Yeah. So she definitely recognized that it was probably amatripuline. I don't think she knew all that much about it. She was pretty young, and she was also. So I made her this was annoying. I made an appointment with the psychiatrist, and then they were like, Yeah, she can't come. Can you just talk to the PA? So, okay, sure. So I'm talking to a PA. I mean, she was great. I, you know, she was good at her job. I did get the vibe that I was like a lab rat. You know, she seemed very fascinated with how these drugs work on the brain. But yeah, she acknowledged that it was probably amatriptaline. She was horrified at what he had given me because she's like, I see a lot of patients coming from that doctor that are on crazy meds. So it's not just you.

SPEAKER_00: 10:08

So so they start you on, so she starts you on Trentelics with the goal of then just weaning off of the amitriptyline.

SPEAKER_02: 10:16

Yeah, yeah. And I was very optimistic. Yeah, I'm in her office crying because I think I have hope that things are gonna get better on this new drug. So yeah, I I decided to we we decided to start tapering off. I I decreased like 25% and it was just going very poorly. It was very anxious. I couldn't eat. Eating was just so difficult, and there's other reasons for that too, which I can update you on that. But it was so terrible. And she was like, you know what, I'm done with you know, we're we're not gonna do this drug anymore. Also, it was very expensive because it's new, there's no generic. So I was paying like at least 80 bucks a month for this, which with insurance, you know, it's not a lot, but compared to what I was paying, like 30 cents for a bottle, it's frustrating, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 10:59

Right.

SPEAKER_02: 11:00

So she's like, Well, let's try well butrin. So, and I'm like, Okay, like how does that work? And she said to me, she said, Well, it's you know like lean, especially, you know, like cough syrup, like lean. I was like, Yeah, like yeah, I I understand. And she's like, Yeah, so it's it's basically like the same drug as that combined with another thing so that you don't get too high.

SPEAKER_00: 11:22

And I was like, Okay, she compared well butrin to to cough syrup, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 11:30

Yeah, so the caught you're talking about the cough syrup that people get high on.

SPEAKER_02: 11:35

Yeah, she said that okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03: 11:38

I've never heard that comparison like that. Have you, John? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 11:42

Well, for someone who's supposed to be such an expert on the brain, I know we're talking about totally different classes of drugs and um mechanisms of action here, but carry on, you know. No, I've never heard that before. No, I haven't. So so over-the-counter cough syrup. Okay, so she compares well butrin to that and says, Let's try it's like this.

SPEAKER_02: 12:03

Not over-the-counter cough syrup, but like the the like lean cough syrup. Well, you know, the one that like did they call it SERP or something like that?

SPEAKER_03: 12:13

Did they call it your like rappers use it? Is that what we're talking about here?

SPEAKER_00: 12:18

Yeah, okay. Did you say rappers? Like Snoop Dogg is using this, yes. All right, we gotta get him on the show.

SPEAKER_02: 12:25

Well, so what my understanding of well butrene, and it was buproprion, like the generic well butrent, it's a combo of two different drugs, like it's the cough syrup drug, and then the one that makes you kind of down so you don't get so high. But that was also terrible because I was still having the urinary issue and I was still on amitryptaline, so obviously the urinary issue didn't go away. It actually made it worse, and then I couldn't eat. Oh my gosh, that was such an appetite suppressant. If I felt good, you know, mentally, I was like, oh my god, like this is the drug for me, but I wasn't eating, and that's a huge problem. So, around I would say, maybe let's see, I started last October was when I started weaning off, and it was, I mean, it was horrific. It was so awful, you know, just not not being able to eat because I was just so anxious and I was nauseous, depression setting in, you know, anhedonia, don't care about anything. Suddenly I'm very anxious in my relationship. And it wasn't until I I think I carried myself, I I deprescribed myself basically. I I didn't trust my doctor anymore. And I was just like, around February, she we were like, this is good. I think the well butrin is is the one for me. But then I was just like, I don't want to do this anymore. And I also lost my insurance because I turned 26, and so I wasn't gonna be able to pay her. It was gonna be very expensive to go. Which that's that's fine. I'm not saying anyone should not go see their see their doctor. I got new insurance, it just wasn't covered. So I basically I think I was on probably the 50% original dose at that point. I stopped taking the well-but turn and I was like, I'm just done. I have to get off of this, and I don't care you know how long it takes me or how hard it is that I want to get off. So I I sat at probably 25% of the original dose, and I'm just there, I'm cutting the pill in half, you know, which you're not supposed to do. We all know that 25% cutting it in half and cutting it in half again. Like it doesn't work. We know this. I didn't know anything about hyperbolic tapering, healthy tapering because I didn't have the resources. So I sat at 25% dose for a couple months, and then I eventually was just like, I'm done. I mean, I can't take this anymore. I'm done. And I stopped taking it, and it was it was horrific. I mean, the withdrawal was just awful. I could I could get out of bed, but it took me a really long time. I was very anxious, I didn't really care about my business anymore, which I had worked really hard to build. Suddenly, like, you know, everything was just so overwhelming, and all my senses were kind of coming back online. Like, you know, just the overwhelmingness of life. And I felt like, have you guys seen Snow White, like the Disney Channel Snow White? Yes, you know, that scene where she's like running from the huntsman in the woods, and all the trees are grabbing her, and she's like falling into the pit. That's what it felt like on a daily basis to just exist in life, and then on top of that, I'm having a hard time eating and sleeping. So, you know, I just felt like a shell of a person, really.

SPEAKER_03: 15:21

This and this all started when you were 15.

SPEAKER_02: 15:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 15:26

So basically, your entire adult formation, like your early formative years as an adult, was influenced by psychiatry heavily, like medications, yes.

SPEAKER_02: 15:40

Yeah, and I'm a very upbeat person, and I'm I'm really happy, you know. I I what I was very happy on the drugs and I'm excited, and I'm always have ideas, and I'm a just I'm an entrepreneur, you know, I'm very busy. And I was worried, I'm like, what if that's not really who I am? What if I'm actually just, you know, a depressed person? You know, what if this person that I have made up, this even this brand that I've built, what if it's all fake and it's not who I am?

SPEAKER_00: 16:06

But now I know that that's not true, that you know, I've come back to can can you can you share just a little bit more detail with our listeners on you were talking a little bit about the inability, right, to like urinate essentially, what what's happening. Okay. Can you go into just a little bit of detail about like what what that what that really is for you? Like, can you walk us through just a little bit about what you experienced? Because I I'm guessing there's people out there that maybe have something similar. I don't realize it, especially elderly people. Right, elderly people, or even like younger people who or whatever the age, right, who are told there's you must have some kind of anxiety that is causing you nervousness and that you can't actually you can't urinate, right? Like it's put on all of these other things and not the drug, right? So, what can you walk us through like what the experience was for you so people can hear that?

SPEAKER_02: 17:02

Yeah, so basically I would just sit on the toilet and I I can't just go, you know, I have to really think about it and actually physically think like take deep breaths, relax my pelvic floor. When I was still on the drug, it would be so bad sometimes. I would just have to push, which you should never do. You know, even even my idiot 80-year-old doctor was like, I I told him this was an issue, and he was like, Well, whatever you do, don't push, because that's really bad. But it just created a sense of anxiety around going to the bathroom in general. You know, I'm sitting there and I can't go. If someone's waiting on me to use, if it's a one stall, someone's waiting on me, forget about it. I can't go. I'm like, no, you go first. Like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be a minute. It's like, you know, excuse me. So yeah, it's just sort of like a it's like a clenching feeling. And I'm not saying like I'm I'm intentionally clenching, I just it's like a pelvic floor is so clenched. And I ended up getting really into this with like because I'm like, what is going on mentally? It's like a disconnect between your nervous system and your bladder. Like your nervous system is supposed to be communicating to your bladder, like relax your bladder and go. But tricyclic antidepressants and probably other ones too, they numb that connection so that you aren't able to like make this signal.

SPEAKER_03: 18:20

Okay, this is interesting because I know in your bio that you had sent us, you mentioned something like not too many people are on amatriptaline. It's actually seven million people are on amatriptaline right now. 70 million, seven, seven million. But I mean, you know, when you think about it as the percentage of people on all psych meds, and this one is seven million, that's still a lot of people. That is prescribed.

SPEAKER_00: 18:44

It's prescribed for so many things. So many things that you've got chronic depression, chronic pain patients are given amnitriptaline like candy, truly.

SPEAKER_02: 18:54

Yeah, specifically for bladder pain, too, because I did see a urologist as well, and he was like, I prescribe this to people who have bladder pain. I'm like, I'm not having any bladder pain, I can't feel shit. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 19:05

Well, actually, that was a good thing that it that the retention didn't cause bladder pain for you, because I could imagine that that would be a really painful thing to happen. I I want to skip forward a little bit because you're you also mentioned um acne.

SPEAKER_00: 19:21

Yes, and yes, and this is what I want to talk about because uh I guess so in it. This is what Rachel and I were going back and forth emailing on because this you're the first person who has reached out to us who wanted to talk about spirinolactone. And God girl, I'm there and I've done it, and I cannot believe the day I realized the contraindications between these drugs. Oh my. So yeah, go ahead, talk about that.

SPEAKER_02: 19:45

Oh my gosh. Well, so I've always struggled with acne in high school, struggled with acne, and went away, but in college, but in high school, and I think through a little bit of college, they put you on uh they put me on antibiotics, doxycycline. Doxycycline. And yeah, so and my my thing about the acne with dermatologists and acne, they do not treat the root cause. They want to band-aid your symptoms because acne at its core, like I have gone so far down the wormhole, at its core, it's an inflammation issue, usually connected to your gut. Yeah, like you know, your your your skin is trying to communicate with you, and you are by by going on accutane, by going on sperno lactone, you are you know silencing the very thing that is trying to communicate with you. And also, it's like you know, especially too with Accutane, you know, you need your liver to clear these toxins that are causing the acne. Accutane really messes with your liver, right? It's so ridiculous. So I got put on sperno lactone because I started having really bad acne again in when I was maybe 20, about 23, 24 a couple years ago. I got on sperno lactone and it did help, but my my period was off whack because what it does is it suppresses like your it totally messes with your hormones. So I was having like two periods a month, it was crazy, it was awful, and you're you're peeing like crazy. It depletes your electrolytes because it's it's a diuretic, it's used off label for acne, it is a blood pressure medication. So around the same time that I got off the amitriptaline, I was like, you know what, I'm sick of all of this, like I'm done. So I stopped taking that too. And I was on a like holistic supplement from another company that I felt like was doing, you know, well enough. So I quit spirinal lactin and like so done with this. I start getting into like, what's the root cause of my acne? Because I've had acne for you know my whole life, basically, maybe a couple years where I didn't have it or whatever. And so I ended up hiring a functional medicine doctor because I'm like, I'm definitely not going back to the derm because she's just gonna throw something stupid at me. And I did some testing and I found out that I have candida overgrowth in my gut.

SPEAKER_00: 21:47

Ah, second person we've had on the show. Talk about candida. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 21:50

Yeah, it's awful. And so I still have acne, like I'm still going through it because I am doing my three-month-long protocol and special diet to try and get rid of it. But yeah, it's it's terrific.

SPEAKER_03: 22:03

I just want to I want to point out something for our listeners here, too, that acne is a very common side effect of psychiatric medications. Yes. So Lexapro is a big one. I I have yet to meet someone on Lexapro that also hasn't struggled with acne simultaneously, and then they're on spirinolactone. Like they're you do it's common it's interesting.

SPEAKER_00: 22:24

It's the simple the doxycycline comes first, then the spirinolactone. You do a couple routes of the spirnolactone, and then comes the accutane. It literally, it's almost like you can you can it's scripted out people free from your from your derm. Like this is here's two of us sitting in the same space talking about the exact same order. And the the the thing that I think is really important for everybody that's listening is Accutane, not and this is more so the spiralactone, because that's the rabbit hole I went down. Spirinolactone is heavily contraindicated with SSRIs. Heavily contraindicated, guys. It's it takes a really quick, like little Google search and doing a little bit of research, and you're gonna find that there are major issues with heart respiratory, because this is what this drug is doing, guys. I mean, she's Rachel's spelling this out, right? You you've got a drug that is prescribed off label. It's a water pill. I remember being told, oh, it's just a water pill. You've got there's we're managing the water in the body, right? This is given for blood pressure. So even when you go off of it, it can be very dangerous to go off of if you're not careful. Because it's like it's a blood pressure med and it's extremely contraindicated with SSRIs, everybody. So I just want to throw that quick disclaimer out there because it's very common, the order by which the medications come. And so I just want to just slide that in there because we don't know that. That's not something that's that's I was not told.

SPEAKER_02: 23:54

Yeah, the doctor didn't tell me that. It was like you were 15. Well, in and out of office.

SPEAKER_03: 24:00

You you were also 15 years old-ish when you started all of this. So, you know, it it's interesting because like 15-year-olds and high schoolers struggle with acne often. So, of course, it's going to be looked at as like, well, you know, you're 15. It's always that, but then when I see older people, even 25, like some of that stuff should be going away, that hormonal acne thing, you know, if it's a huge breakout by now, but you've been so heavily impacted in your digestive health and your liver functioning and all of these things that your skin as an organ is taking the the beating here, so to speak. So, but I I also like like thinking about like older older people older than 30, right? If you're still struggling with this huge acne all over and you're taking these meds, it's likely the side effect of the medication that is causing the acne in the first place. So it's like this weird rabbit hole that you just keep running around and circling the drain and trying to figure out what is what, right? So I'm I'm glad you're figuring it out for yourself. I hope that there's some other young people on here thinking the same way. Yeah. What the heck?

SPEAKER_00: 25:10

Young people or like people who are, even if this is you're going through this, and even if you're in your like your mid 30s, right? It's the same kind of thing, like you have a child and they're, oh, it's it's all hormones, it's all hormones. It's the same thing that's told to you when you're a teenager, okay? It's hormones, and that's what's causing this. And so we we need to, you know, this is a drug that's safe for that to help with that. But sometimes it's not hormones. If you've been taking a psychiatric medication since you were a teenager, okay, that could actually be root cause of what's creating all of these other issues for you. But but we never chuck it up to that, right? It's all this is the phase of life. You're a teenager, you're going through these hormone things. Oh, you're a mom, you had a baby a year ago. Yeah, it's it's hormones, right? Like this is all the hormonal stuff when in reality we've been on these meds since we were a teenager. That was the start of it, truly. So I I'm I'm curious too, if you would share, Rachel, because I I think our listeners would love to hear this. Can you tell us a little thing about some of the protocols that you're doing naturally for managing that?

SPEAKER_02: 26:17

Yeah, so a lot of people think that you know, you just take like potty arco, which is like an antifungal tree, or you know, they think, yo, you can just take the herbs. But the root cause of candida is usually that your gut microbiome is so messed up, which because I took the antibiotics for years and years, and I've also had several surgeries, like antibiotics, I think, is a big cause of candida. So, and also poor digestion, you know, ametryptaline and probably other drugs too really slows down your digestion. So, when your digestion, your food's not moving through your stomach, the candida is gonna overgrow and it's gonna digest it for you. So, yeah, the protocol I'm doing right now is it is a special diet. It's pretty restrictive, but it's not so restrictive that I'm like absolutely zero sugar because if you just cut out sugar alone, you know, you can't just starve it out. That's a common misconception because candida is very smart and it can go dormant and it can feed off of amino acids alone, ketones alone. So the protocol I'm doing right now is it's three months long, and in combination with a diet, it's biofilm breakup, like a biofilm buster, because they, you know, candida and parasites, they live in these biofilms to protect themselves, like a gross coating. It's like I'm like, can't believe this is going on inside of my body.

SPEAKER_03: 27:35

So much going on inside of your body that we don't even realize and know about that is insane. Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 27:42

So so the biofilm busters, and then in combination with some herbs, so like oregano leaf, rosemary, black walnut hole, potty arco, you know, the holistic Ayurvedic kind of anti-candida herbs that are supposed to clean it out. But it happens, it has to happen over time. It's not as simple as taking in antifungal, it's it which sucks. I mean, this is an issue that I've had for a long time, so it kind of makes sense that you're not going to heal right away. Healing takes a long time.

SPEAKER_03: 28:10

And like you said, there can be flare-ups again, too. And and I think about that a lot with gut health too, because once just when you think you got it all under control, bam bam, and you're back to square one sometimes. Or now you're you become a little bit more you you notice things differently. So I know for me, like when my gut health is getting bad, I'll go back to protocol or my adrenals are feeling shoddy, like I'll go back to protocol, but I'll notice that earlier rather than being in the extreme, you know, fatiguey, weird spots that I was before. I do notice it a lot earlier now. So then you can take action. And I think that awareness is key when it comes to healing. Because I do think that people are hopeful that it's like a one and done. Like, oh, once I'm once I'm healed, I'm never gonna, you know, worry about this ever again. And you know, we're people and we go through a lot of stuff, and healing is a cycle, like there's a cycle of healing. And so having grace on yourself, especially being your age, by the way, like is amazing that you're doing all this stuff for yourself because you're really young. And I'm glad that you're taking charge of your health. Um, I think more young people need to hear these stories, which is interesting, Jen, because we've had more and more young people under the age of 30 come on the show and talk about how they're taking charge of their health. And I am like here for it. I am I am all about it because yeah, because otherwise you're gonna end up, you know, being 56 years old like me and be like, now what do I do? You know, in my life. And it's a lot easier to heal a younger body than it is an older one, that is for sure. So I'm I'm here for this new generation of health and well-being. So I love it. I love it. And then I'm thinking about your background in landscaping and gardening and plants. And I'm like, this just makes so much sense for you to turn to like a plant-based healing opportunities for you. I'm like, girl, you've got you've got a future in botany and you know, herbalism, I think, coming in hot.

SPEAKER_02: 30:09

So it's so funny because a lot of the work I do with like I use a lot of organic products, organic fertilizer. And the theory is you know, you have good soil health, your plant will grow healthy. With people, I'm like, why did I not make the connection sooner? And with antidepressants too, what made me feel so much better, because I would say that I have become so I I don't say I'm fully healed from the medications, but my life has done a 180 as far as like mood and everything. And it was it was changing my diet. I cut out gluten, dairy. Things that I would like to eventually add back in, maybe, but it it's what you're eating. That's where when I was 15, that's where why didn't I start there? Why didn't why wasn't I told to start there? Why wasn't I told to start there?

SPEAKER_03: 30:51

If you were told to start there, would you have though at 15? Um probably not. Yeah. I don't know. That vending machine is a little too close to the launch room.

SPEAKER_00: 31:01

I asked myself that same question too, right? Being young and starting on antidepressants. But it would have been nice for that to be an option, to have been discussed at least, because something that we know is when we're given options, it's really hard to negate or forget about some of those options. So even if you choose one thing, it is already registered in the brain that there was something else that was given to you as a choice. Right. You a seed is planted, right? And that's that, I mean, that's the the neural part of this is that that's there and that doesn't go away. So then as things aren't working for you, you kind of in the back of your mind are always going back to, okay, well, there was a couple other options that were given to me. But the problem was that wasn't the drug was the only option. So it makes sense every time you go back, like you're putting more hope in another drug because there wasn't some other option that was even mentioned. And what and so now we ask the question, right, Rachel, the issues you had going on when you were 15, are those still issues in your life? Were they issues? Like how long did that actually organically last for you? If you, you know, depression? Yeah, like the real true depression that you were experiencing. Was that very situational for you?

SPEAKER_02: 32:53

Yeah, it it felt like it was. I think things did get better. You know, you just high school's rough.

SPEAKER_01: 32:58

I mean, yes, it is.

SPEAKER_02: 33:00

You know, got to college and everything, you know, got better, you know, still went through some rocky things, but I never really once considered getting off of them. I thought that, you know, there was just something wrong with me. Mental illness kind of runs in my family. Um, and like I have a lot of, you know, just crazy relatives and stuff. So I thought that it had been passed down to me. And I was, I was like, Well, I have to, you know, continue to take it. Yeah, even still when I got off of it and I was having like meltdowns. Like, I think I was crying every single day multiple times a day, and I had like a a close, you know, family member, not immediate family, but somebody else. And she's like, you know, God just made you extra special. You need to, you know, stay on these drugs. Cause it, you know, you know, she was trying to be helpful, like she was like, No, it's it's okay, you're just a little bit quirky and you need to be, but it's like, no, the quirkiness is the is the superpower, you know. Correct. These men, they they numb your intuition, you know, your gut feeling. And now that it's like come back online, I'm like, oh, I'm like, I'm seeing in different colors now. Like, I could, you know, I'm hearing, I just I feel so much sharper, and it just feels great.

SPEAKER_03: 34:09

Yeah. Well, I think about that 15-year-old you trying to like come out of that cocoon, and the quirkiness is what made you you, right? And so you had to, you had to that dampened all of that spirit a little bit, though you said you were able to kind of shine through, but I I wonder what it would have been like if you would have been able to just be you and be the shine all the time, not restrained at all by by medications. But I also want to point out like, I mean, you weren't 15 that long ago. I mean, it it more than a decade, but but that still is in that generational thinking of you know, destigmatize mental health and you know, take psychiatric medications. There's nothing wrong with taking it, blah, blah, blah. So we don't think twice about what the future of that 15-year-old will be, right? Even especially I think about it with women, because you don't know in childbearing years are are real close to you, they're they're within a decade, right? And so you were on all these medications that were probably a big no no-no for pregnancy, childbearing years, that that kind of stuff. And I I think we fail, we're like, well, that's not even important right now, but it is important, it should be part of the conversation for a young person. Like, I mean, honestly, a 15-year-old, they're probably more thinking about not getting pregnant than getting pregnant mostly, but it still should be a conversation again, planting a seed, like that's a little seed to plant. Like, think about your future for a minute here. How can we holistically help you as a child, as a 15-year-old child get through this? And by the way, you went to the wrong psychiatrist. Don't go to eight-year-old psychiatrists, everybody. I think that's the moral story here. You know, it's the difference of like being on top of research, being on being not on top of it, but open to new research, I think is the thing. And and I've heard older psychiatrists, sorry, psychiatrists, say things like, Well, I'm I'm about ready to retire. So basically, I'm just gonna, you know, slide out my the last few years that I've got here and not really worry about learning something new. And I think that's not right. I think that's terrible. I think, especially with what we know now within the last five, even five years. I think things are we need to talk have these discussions more with all of our psychiatrists.

SPEAKER_00: 36:39

But Rachel, can you tell us a little bit about what you experienced? So you were starting to talk about how your experience changed, like these uh your view of yourself, like your internal like gut feeling, like all of a sudden you could could just become more brighter, things felt better for you. When that first started to happen, you know, how long did that take you? So was it like you stopped the ametryptaline and within a certain period of time that just kind of started to pop for you? Or, you know, because you were talking about your business and how you were starting to kind of like give up on yourself and on your business. Okay. I'm just kind of curious to know like, was it when you started to wean off? And I know you didn't do a super long taper or anything, but when did you start to notice those things that that were actually there that were numbed for so long?

SPEAKER_02: 37:29

Yeah, I think it it started to happen when I was beginning to taper. I noticed certain things made me very uncomfortable or just like boundaries that I had let get kind of trampled on before. And it made me question, you know, some of my friendships, some of the things I was doing for work, just started to feel like everything that I now know was misaligned for me, just started to feel deeply, deeply uncomfortable in my soul. And I was just like, I can't do this anymore. I'm really, you know, I I hate everything about this, and I've created this business so that I can work for myself and I can do what I want to do. And actually, I hate I hate doing landscape installations. I, you know, I don't like doing this.

SPEAKER_03: 38:10

I hate it.

SPEAKER_02: 38:13

Like, no. So just you know, I started to notice what things really lit me up and which things made me feel smaller, and sort of noticing those feelings in your like it's called like your solar plexus, like right in between your cage, that feeling of like or like lit upness. And but it did take a while. I think so. I quit in April. I don't think I really started to feel like genuinely a whole lot better until maybe probably August. And it had to do with changing my diet, I will say. Once I cut out, and this is so funny because I I was gonna get back on. It was so bad I was gonna get back on. I was like, maybe I this is maybe this was dumb. Psych. I'm just gonna get back on meds like we can't do this.

SPEAKER_01: 38:59

Yeah, that was really how 90s of you. How nineties of you, Rachel. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02: 39:05

I can't do this. I I spoke to Renee Jacobson. Do you guys know Renee?

SPEAKER_01: 39:10

Yes, we do. She's been on the show.

SPEAKER_02: 39:12

Yes, yeah. So she became my you know withdrawal coach. And I as soon as I spoke to her, she was like, There's nothing wrong with you. You're just sensitive to stuff, and you know, you you know, you you have like gifts, you have superpowers, and you shouldn't get back on these these drugs. And I had hope, you know, she the way that she explained it and you know, the way that she gives about things just were so clear to me. And I was like, Okay, well then yeah, I can do this, you know. But she was actually the one that told me to cut out gluten first, gluten and dairy. And I was like, You're crazy. She didn't call out this intake.

SPEAKER_03: 39:48

Don't take my gluten and dairy from me. Don't do it.

SPEAKER_02: 39:51

I'd rather die. Because she has me call out the intake form, and she's like, What's the new diet? And I'm like, Rice, like you know, just whatever. Yeah, and so she's like, you know, consider cutting gluten because of XYZ, glyphosate, first of all, gluten is an inflammatory food, also for a lot of people. And I was like, You're crazy. But again, she mentioned it to me, like you're saying, Jen, that's an option. I ignored it at first, but then as things are not getting better, I'm like, well, maybe I'll try that, you know. Then I start working with a functional person, and she's like, Yeah, cut out gluten, cut out, try cutting out dairy as well, all this other stuff. And I just felt better. You know, the food you eat is huge, it's insanely important. You know, your your gut is like your second brain. Everyone says that. And you make so much of your like neurotransmitters in the gut and what you're eating and your microbione, like it's all so important. But yeah, I started to just feel more lit up again, and it had to do with getting rid of the things that weren't aligned for me and that felt wrong. And then I I just I started to notice like you you have this like trust in yourself, like, oh, this feels really right, or this doesn't. Where normally I would have just been like, Oh, well, somebody wants me to do this, so I guess I should I should do that for them, and you know, it's I I'll make a little money for them.

SPEAKER_03: 41:04

Wait, that's the that's the key thing. I'm gonna do it for someone else, not do it for myself, and I think that is so key for people listening. Like, you have to do this for yourself, not because someone else is judging you or you feel judged, or because you want to please, you know, another person. This is about pleasing yourself. And again, I'm like, I am floored that a person your age is already there. I wish I was you when I was your age, by the way. I didn't get there till I was, I don't know, last year. Anyway, old. Oh, what? No, old. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00: 41:37

No, you're not old. No, that it's it it is a I wanted to ask about this because I think people also have some misconceptions. And okay, uh backtrack just a minute. I'm gonna take a step back. Everybody's experience with coming off of a psychiatric medication is different. People's experience with changing diet is gonna be different. Like, so everybody's path for this is is uniquely different, which is also like what you're describing, what you're saying to us, right? You maybe are a sensitive, more unique person in different ways, right? And when we bring big pharma into our lives, there isn't uniqueness that's allotted for, right? It's it's everybody gets, I mean, you and I are totally different people, but yet we we brought in the same exact order of acne treatments here in our lives, right? Okay. You know, so it's that's interesting. Yeah, it's very can, it's these standard can kind of things, no different than how prescribing of psych meds are. But the the the cool part about this is what you're describing for our listeners is there was a point where that kind of shifted for you. Other options were given to you, even when you were thinking, like, maybe I just got to go back on it. But just those couple little options changed the trajectory of the choices that you made. And then it led you down this whole other space that is 100% the treatment plan, is focused on the unique things that you need. Right. Like if you didn't have the candida overgrowth, you okay, great, we did an assessment. That's not the issue. Let's try something else, right? No, I do actually. I got I've had a positive test for this, which means I'm gonna start changing this, this, and this of what I'm eating, right? That's a more unique perspective and a treatment plan that's tailored to somebody for what their needs actually are. And then you took the you took that and ran with it. And you still, you still are.

SPEAKER_02: 43:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 43:24

Yeah. So I I think that's the difference here when we're when we're looking at like again the holistic world versus more of a more Western approach. And now you're living and breathing this in a whole way than you probably ever thought you would.

SPEAKER_02: 43:38

Yeah. I mean, I volunteer at a local co-op now. I learn about herbalism.

SPEAKER_03: 43:42

It's I knew it. I knew you were gonna say that really soon. I knew it.

SPEAKER_02: 43:48

But herbalism, I just hadn't quite scratched the surface yet. And I was I was absolutely in tears one day, you know, right after I had just come off. I was so upset, and I was like, I'm really gonna try to eat something gluten-free or like you know, organic food. Like, I just I was like, what can I do? Where can I go? And I remember there's this place by my house called the the co-op, the natural living co-op. So I go in there, they have a gluten-free, dairy-free menu, and I see that they have volunteer positions. So I start volunteering there, and it's like, you know, every ailment, not not saying that if you have a you know, medical issue, go to a doctor, however, a lot of things can be managed with herbs, and you know, plant medicine is so real, and I've I've seen it, I've felt the effects. It's really amazing.

SPEAKER_03: 44:30

Well, big pharma uses plant molecules, so I mean, that's where it all comes from, folks. So plants or snake venom, those are two big ones. So, anyway, but yes, plant medicine is very powerful. Also, I wanted to just kind of add in there that little sense of purpose that you have, like helping others is a very purposeful thing, and working in spaces that you find value in. And I think for everybody, not just young people, but every person, we need to find that sense of purpose and direction at any age. And I think when we lose that, it's problematic. And a 15-year-old doesn't really have that, especially when they're in high school, the early stages of high school are so hard. There's not even a purpose in a friend group half the time at in those moments, right? Like you kind of have to get those purposeful things going. So if you're listening to this, purpose is a huge predictor of mental well-being. And yeah, I'm glad you're finding some purpose too.

SPEAKER_02: 45:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 45:31

Yeah, yeah. And I I have to, as we close here, we have to close with something Rachel said. She said, because I'm just a sensitive, unique person, I don't need to be medicated. I need to feel at home in my body. And part of that's up to me and cannot be found in a doctor's office.

SPEAKER_03: 45:48

Love it. That was a great quote. That's gonna go on deliverable. So yes.

SPEAKER_00: 45:53

Yeah, you love that. So everybody, we are wrapping up here. Um, thank you for listening to our show. We are the Gaslit Truth Podcast. Make sure you get on YouTube and like and subscribe and go ahead, give us some stars. We want all of them. And if you want to send us any of your glat gaslit stories, please feel free to do that at thegaslit truthpodcast at gmail.com. And Rachel, thank you for for being on the show and telling us your story.

SPEAKER_02: 46:20

Yeah, thanks for listening. I've been wanting to tell it for a long time. I would when I was in recovery, you know, when I was really down and really just going through it, I would talk to myself. I would imagine telling the story to someone else of what it was like after I was healed or felt better, you know. And so I think I did manifest this kind of in a way.

SPEAKER_01: 46:38

You did.

SPEAKER_02: 46:38

I would talk to myself what it would be like to tell somebody how much better I feel, and now I'm here doing it. So manifest myself.

SPEAKER_00: 46:46

Well, you just told that you just told that to about 80 countries worth of listeners, Rachel. So you manifested the shit out of that, girl. All right, take care, be well.

SPEAKER_01: 46:58

Thank you.