Dancing in the Discomfort Zone with Anne Bonney

What SWAT Hostage Negotiators Know About Tough Conversations (That Leaders Don’t) with Scott Tillema

Anne Bonney Season 17 Episode 377

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0:00 | 41:03

What do hostage negotiations and workplace conflict have in common?

More than you think.

Former SWAT hostage negotiator Scott Tillema (https://scotttillema.com/) joins me to break down what it really takes to influence emotional people in high-stakes moments...whether you’re outside a barricaded building, delivering some uncomfortable performance feedback or trying to solve a problem with your spouse.  

If you’ve got tough conversations in the back of your head that you need to have, this episode is for you!

We talk about:

  • Why trying to be “right” can quietly destroy your influence
  • The foundation you must build before you try to persuade anyone
  • How timing can make or break a difficult conversation (this is HUGE!)
  • What respect actually means...and what it doesn’t
  • How to separate the person from the behavior without losing your cool

Because the moment it becomes about being right… we’re in trouble.

Want more from Scott?

Scott Tillema (TILL'-uh-ma) is a retired SWAT hostage negotiator from the Chicago area. Scott holds a bachelor’s degree in behavioral science, a master’s degree in psychology, and he was trained in negotiation by the FBI and at Harvard University.
He is the founder of Negotiation Excellence, LLC and as a global keynote speaker and corporate trainer.  His TEDx talk “The Secrets of Hostage Negotiators” has been viewed over one million times.   

Anne Bonney is a keynote speaker and emcee who helps organizations lead through change by building resilience, emotional intelligence, and courageous communication.