105 : Permission to be Awesome! Unpack Your Gifts

We celebrate the season by granting a bigger gift: permission to be awesome. We unpack why pretending costs so much, how to spot inauthentic habits, and practical ways to find and express your gifts at home, at work, and in community.

• energy drain from masking and over-editing who we are
• belonging vs becoming and the price of rejection fears
• simple tests that reveal inauthenticity in the moment
• start in safe spaces to practice self-expression
• asking trusted people to mirror your strengths back
• journaling prompts for self-acknowledgment
• Gene Keys overview and using shadow to gift shifts
• building cultures that honor authenticity at work
• experimenting, pivoting, and taking action on your genius
• boundaries that protect alignment and vitality
• choosing what lights you up as your guide

Be awesome today, because how your life feels is more important than how it looks

Follow Coach Polly @getbusythriving and Coach Sam @thesamanthapruitt 

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Linktree for ALL THE THINGS: https://linktr.ee/everydayawesomeproject

Website/About Us: https://everydayawesomeproject.com/about-us/

Transcript

Holiday Greetings & Theme Setup

Samantha Pruitts 0:29

Hey, welcome back, superstars. Polly here and Sam Pruitt. What's up, beautiful humans? Well. This is Pruitt. Happy Christmas.

Polly Mertens 0:37

Merry Christmas. Happy holidays. Yeah, this is going live on Christmas. So uh if you study that tradition or if that's a part of your life, we wish you're single best. Yeah.

Samantha Pruitts 0:51

And if it's not, and you're just having a holiday or a day off, or whatever you are celebrating, whatever your belief system is, we respect and we honor you. Yeah. Yeah.

Polly Mertens 1:00

And we're going to get down to some yummy stuff today. We were like, well, in the spirit of gifting and all of that, we said, like, permission to be awesome, please, right? Unpacking your gifts. That was your idea. I love this.

Samantha Pruitts 1:12

Well, what is the most important gift? Being the most important gift. Yeah. Being yourself. Being

The Cost Of Being Inauthentic

Samantha Pruitts 1:20

authentically you. And in order to be authentically you and know your gifts, you need to know thyself, right? You can fully express yourself if you know your yourself. And so that's really what we want people to be thinking about today on Christmas, frankly, every day.

Polly Mertens 1:34

Yes. Yes. So if you're listening to this not on Christmas, which is totally fine because it's you get permission 365 to be awesome in our world, right? Like, yes, please do that, right? And you know, one of the things we wanted to talk about before we dive into ways to unpack your gifts and looking at your gifts is like, holy smokes, there's a lot that we do when we're not sharing our gifts and not being authentic. And like, let's just call it like the cost of compromising and contorting and you know, just you know, being something that we're not, right? The inauthentic.

Samantha Pruitts 2:05

So yeah, it's paying a price.

Polly Mertens 2:07

You're paying a big price.

Samantha Pruitts 2:09

Yeah.

Polly Mertens 2:10

Energy drain, you know, inauthenticity, just like like your, you know, your biggest energy drain isn't your job, isn't your kids, isn't your to-do list. It's not being you. Like pretending to be something that you're not. And you were just sharing before we went on air about this group of women who have another podcast, these doctors. And it's like, what did she say for her 50th birthday? She's like, I just started doing anything that I'm not. Stop doing anything that I'm not.

Samantha Pruitts 2:35

Stopped doing anything that she wasn't, fully abandoning anything that didn't fully align with her authentic self. Hell oh. Double clicks. Yeah. I called mine a little different. I called it the no fucks given after 50. But hers was a little more eloquently said. But it's the same concept of like this is who I am. I'm gonna embrace all of me, all my crazy imperfections, and all of the things and weird behaviors, and I'm just gonna be cool with it. And then I'm gonna try and double down on my genius, my gifts and strengths that I do have, so I can really be contributing in the second half, like having impact.

Polly Mertens 3:13

Yeah, and I think, you know, oftentimes when I've coached people in the past, um, just giving this giving them the phrase, give yourself permission to blank whatever it is, right? Like, and we're calling this permission to be awesome. It's like we forget, like we take our own permission away. Like, like this way of being, these patterns of giving a fuck and pretending and compromising and stuff like guess what? We're making it up. We're making it up. Nobody is quote forcing or you know, we adapt these strategies, these like, oh, I need to be this way, right? And it's two main reasons it's to fit in and belong, right?

Samantha Pruitts 3:49

So yes, it is. Like, we will point fingers at other people, and you know, I'm sure I have done this many, many times, like around how we were brought up and environments we're in, or bad relationships, or wherever, like, you know, they they don't let me be who I want to be, or they don't let me fully express, or they want me to be XYZ. And that can be what it feels like, right? Like it feels that way, like you're bumping up against things that you know you want to resist against. And when you're little, it's kind of hard to resist, and you're molded a lot easier and so forth. But then, like for myself as a young person, as a young adult, it was a massive, massive project for me to and a tremendous amount of money to resist against society and my parents and all of these things that really didn't feel good. I spent a lot of years resisting, and then ultimately ultimately that was not good for my mental and physical health. I learned the hard way through some paid some big prices around that, right? So that shouldn't be what your everyday life is looking like. But we can acknowledge for some people it it is. That's a real thing.

Polly Mertens 5:01

Well, and I, you know, I'd love to say, like, I don't do this still, like, oh yeah, I put that aside when I was bulimic and I was all this people pleasing and perfectionism and all this stuff. It's like, it still shows up. It still shows up. So there's no, you know, holier than thou going on over here for sure. But like you, you know, you made

Permission To Be Awesome

Polly Mertens 5:20

a hard, hard no more, no fucks given, you know, after 50. And you're living it. I would say that, like knowing you and when we were preparing for this, I was like, Samantha, it's just basically how you're living right now. You know, it's like, you know, you know who you are, and you were just sharing about how like you were um, you know, meeting with somebody that we know and love, and they weren't recognizing or remembering how awesome they are. And you do this for me all the time. Like, hey, you over there, like, wait a minute, you're you know, like, you know, you see my sparkly side, you see my creative side, and you're like, uh, don't forget that's who you are, right? Don't forget, you know, because I still fall into it myself.

Samantha Pruitts 5:56

So yeah, yeah, we want to surround ourselves with people like that. And we'll talk about that at the end. Like, how can people get this space curated for themselves? Right. And it can be a little bit of a messy problem, but it's emotionally dysregulating to not be yourself. It is energetically exhausting. It literally will raise cortisol and other stress hormones in the body and cause health impacts. It absolutely does. And I know people who are connected with themselves in this way understand, you know, how that feels and it's really uncomfortable in the body. So, depending on whatever stage you're at, we just want to bring about awareness once again today that you know you are the gift and you giving yourself permission, if you will, to just be authentically yourself moving into 2026 every damn day, no matter what it looks like, no matter how imperfect or messy or noisy or stinky or whatever. Yeah. Just be cool with it, you know. We see you for who you are, and we want you to see yourself for who you are.

Polly Mertens 6:59

You know, there's a phrase that I remember when I was a teenager. I haven't heard it in a long time, but I heard it this morning. I was listening to something in the gym, and I think it was Matthew McConaughey who was sharing about an experience. Somebody gave him some feedback, and they're like, you know, Matthew, you're really full of yourself. And he was like, you know, and at first that phrase, I don't know about you as a teenager, but that was like a a disc. You know, that was like a something wrong with you, you know, you're being too much or something like that, right?

Samantha Pruitts 7:25

Arrogant, arrogant. My mother used the word pompous.

Polly Mertens 7:28

That's so British. Totally. So so he was like, Well, who else would I be full of? Like, I'm sorry. Boom. He was like, I yeah, I'm full of myself, right? Like, I mean, hello, and like Beyoncé and Pink and all these women that I admire so much, they are so damn full of themselves. I'm like, get it, get it. It's like you, like you are so full of you. It's it's beautiful, extraordinary, right? So I would say, model that, right? So model that.

Samantha Pruitts 8:00

And when you can do it, you give permission to others to do exactly the same, whether it's your children, your family, or whatever. You know, that can make a lot of people uncomfortable. Okay. I have seen that in my own life, but that's okay. Eventually, and I definitely see the benefits with my grandchildren and children, that they feel more liberated to be themselves with me. And that's exactly what I want. Those are the kind of relationships I want, and those kind of friends.

Polly Mertens 8:27

Absolutely. Absolutely. So I would say let's be full of ourselves this year, right? Yeah. Self-expressed, self-expressed, full self-expression. So let's talk about, you know, where did this come from? Like why what causes us to fall into these, you know, traps, patterns, you know, like not fully self-expressed. What are some of your traps and limiting beliefs?

Samantha Pruitts 8:49

I mean, the most basic, you know, human instinct kind of stuff is like people just want to be safe. They want to belong, right? So we conform and contort and we do all these shape-shifting sort of things. And we do that out of survival instinct, you know, it's not don't be embarrassed or feel shamed about it, you know, or guilty. It just is part of being a human. But for most of us, we're no longer living in a jungle somewhere on the savannah, you know, trying to fight for our lives and survive. But that instinct is still kind of buried within us, isn't it?

Polly Mertens 9:25

Well, I think it, you know, so bouncing baby girls and boys

Belonging, Rejection, And Survival Brain

Polly Mertens 9:30

come out of the womb and they're just fully self-expressed, you know, pooping and screaming and yelling and they get love and stuff. And then things shift a little bit as they get older, you know, and well-meaning parents try to help them adapt to life after they're grown, you know, grown adults. So they teach them, train them, like, oh no, that's not okay. This is okay, that's not okay, right? Or parents just having a bad day, right? Or they've got their own emotional baggage misregulation and they take it out on their child, right? So, you know, what often happens as we go through childhood, nobody comes out unskay. There's wounds and trauma, little tees all over the place. Yeah. But there was a moment where our moments, you know, depending on the childhood upbringing and the environment, where you felt crushed or hurt or angry or rejected, somebody talked over you, or like you talk about in your household, like children are to be seen, not heard, right? So it's like you had to stop your self-expression. There are moments, and if you, you know, in the work that I'm doing with my leadership program, we really look at the times where patterns that exist today, the communication style that you have, the way of expressing or not expressing or withholding, or all these ways of being that are survival instincts, like they are actually just created from little times in childhood where the little you just like had your something crushed or hurt, or you know, like sharing your gift or being fully expressed you didn't land well with somebody. And then you're like, oh, can't do it anymore. Can't be that way. It's it's it's not okay to be too much or too talkative or you know, too smart, or whatever you were being too bright, you know, too happy.

Samantha Pruitts 11:13

Yeah, the worst is rejection, like feeling rejected. I've been rejected many times over the course of my lifetime. And I remember when I was a young person that that was the biggest sting, you know, whether it was by my peers or by my family or by society or whatever the environment was, but that's just like soul crushing. So then you start to go, okay, what can I do to fit in? You start to compromise, you start to adapt, right? And there's a lot of environments that we all can experience in different ways, all the way up till now, adults at all ages, where you go into a space, it could be home environment, work environment, or whatever, communities also, where you really, really want to belong there. You really want to feel like you are worthy to belong there. And so you will slowly, subtly, or very obviously contort yourself into ways, unauthentic ways, in order to fit in and be accepted. And, you know, society, unfortunately, can be really toxic in this way. Environments can be really toxic and really harmful.

Polly Mertens 12:20

Yeah.

Samantha Pruitts 12:21

Yeah.

Polly Mertens 12:22

It's definitely, I think what you're pointing at that I see most is these this survival brain, you know, the need to belong, especially in a tribe, or, you know, right, is it's foundational. If I'm X X, you know, I'm outside the tribe, I could die, you know. Totally. So the brain's like, ah, don't be outside the tribe, right? And you know, I don't I don't, this is probably gonna come out sounding like judgment. So I'm just gonna like precursor, okay, Polly's opinion here. But like one of the things that I see the most um is when I notice trends in ways of dressing or hairstyles or people's home, like like a trend to me is like you're falling with the herd, you know, and suddenly it's like, oh, it's better to fit in and belong and wear whatever is, you know, like I noticed it with glasses, sunglasses, people wear like the trend on this year, and then oh, and then they're wearing different ones, or hairstyles, or whatever. And it's like if you I don't know, it's just like looking back into yourself and owning like like you it doesn't have to be on trend to be you, right? Exactly.

Samantha Pruitts 13:27

If you love something, you love something. If it speaks to you, it speaks to you. You know, really listening to that and then honoring it is freaking brave, courageous, ballsy.

Polly Mertens 13:40

And I think in culture, we actually honor and appreciate people who are unique. Like I think of um, you know, that uh drag queen RuPaul. Like I saw this episode of Insider, well, hey, she's just like, I'm doing me, right? She he's doing, I'm doing me, and like over-the-top self-expression and beautiful and amazing and talented and gorgeous and fabulous. And I saw a episode where they did a kind of like an architectural digest behind the scenes in his home, you know, and it was marvelous. Like it was so unique, so not like gray walls, and I mean, like he was like, I love, you know, a good party. So he had like, you know, this dining room was just flamboyant and all that, you know. And it's like, what, what do you, what are your tastes and preferences? Make that your home, your living space, what you wear, what you look like and stuff.

Samantha Pruitts 14:31

So yeah, you can definitely start there because it's a safer place to start. Right? Your safe spaces, your car, your home, your office or cubicle or whatever the thing is that you have, right? Yeah. And what you want to wear and what you want to look like and all that kind of stuff. Start playing in places where you feel really safe. I've worked, um, and I'm sure you've done this with a bunch of your clients too, and coaching them in terms of their actual space.

Polly Mertens 14:58

Yeah.

Samantha Pruitts 14:58

Home space or their office space, and what does it look and feel like? And is it authentically them? Is it reflecting them? Is it making them feel good? Is it making them feel creative? Like our spaces do really impact us greatly. Yeah. Greatly.

Polly Mertens 15:14

Yeah. And I see this in business brands too. You know, there's, I don't know, sometimes I'll go on Canva for, you know, a design or this or that, what, you know, like templates for social media or templates for ebooks and things like that. And they're so, they're so in a particular zone. And then like our brand is so freaking colorful, you know, and it's like, there's not enough color in these templates. You know, I'm always like, let me throw some splash of you know, color and things. I might use their their font or something, but you and I are just like, no, we're not going to be held back by tan and beige. Like, I don't I don't think so. Right. And so what is your brand? You know, what is your personal brand like? Is it flashy? Is it soft? Is it bold colors? You know, so we're really looking at that. So, you know, and I think one of the things I just want to say before we go into like, like I love the part about unpacking your gifts is like knowing when you're being inauthentic, right? Like that that detect the the the detection, right? Like

Start Where It’s Safe To Express

Polly Mertens 16:10

I would say, you know, having been, you know, nine months now studying communication, I just wanted to insert that when you're withholding a communication, you're being you're probably being an authentic. You know, if there's something that you know you want to say, you wish you could say, can't if I say it to this person for whatever reason, right? If you're not withholding, if you're withholding a communication, you're probably being inauthentic and just that's a place to look.

Samantha Pruitts 16:36

Right. Yeah. And I would say if you're just second, third, or fourth guessing, you know, am I gonna go to this thing? What am I gonna wear? Is my hair right? Like all of the things, you know. All right, like if you're continuously like assessing if you're good enough to be dropping into this space, whatever the hell the space is. That is a red freaking flag. I mean, I am obviously not a supermodel. I know this could be shocking to the audience at this point, okay. But I'm gonna be comfortable in my skin and I live kind of a busy, hectic, messy life. So I don't do a lot of thinking anymore. It doesn't mean that I don't take time to dress up and put on makeup and do my hair. Sure, I do, but it's not an everyday thing that I need to be concerned with that because it's a lot of energy that goes into that, right?

Polly Mertens 17:26

But being authentically you, you know, and if it does make you feel good, like there's some people that just absolutely love it, love it, love it, love it. You know, our friend Tyler with the beautiful nails, she loves doing that and the makeup and her colorful hair. It's like, get it, totally get it.

Samantha Pruitts 17:41

It makes her feel good in her skin, and that's exactly what we're talking about. It's her expression, yeah. Whatever feels good in your own skin, that is powerful. Yeah, that is your freaking superpower. If you can walk into a room, a space, a conversation, and be totally in your skin and totally locked and loaded with your own truth and gifts, boom. And this is what this podcast is about, by the way. What are your gifts? And are you tapped into them? Are you connected? Are you, you know, having awareness around what your gifts are? And then how can you deliver those into the world? First to yourself, give all up the love on yourself, but then start delivering it to the world.

Polly Mertens 18:22

Yeah. So how do we how do we discover them? Like, what are some of the ways that you have advice for, okay, well, I know I'm either being an authentic or I feel like, yeah, I'm fitting in, or like I'm 50 or 40 or whatever, and I want to stop pretending, right? Like I want to own who I am more. What what what are some ways that we can get kick this off? Get them started.

Samantha Pruitts 18:44

Yeah, well, I start by calling it uh your genius. So basically tapping into your genius, those are your gifts. And that might make people really uncomfortable. Like, oh, I'm not smart, I'm not a genius. Again, it's all these like who decided what things mean and labels and all that kind of stuff. But if you really think about what in the heck is my genius? Like, what is my superpower? What is my thing? It can be very difficult to figure that out. And that's why I think a lot of times life is really messy. We have a lot of jobs, we have a lot of relationships, we move around a lot. You know, we do a lot of I hope that we do a lot of things in order to experience taking risks, trying new things, seeing what the outcome is, sometimes failing, sometimes you winning. All of it, all of that chaos called living a life is bringing us towards our genius. Because through that is like, you know, touch points and feedback loops.

Polly Mertens 19:43

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I was just thinking about the scenario. You know, you and I are independent, you know, self-employed, and you know, we work with people in their business, but we don't, you know, we don't have a J-O-B every day. And I think there's a lot inside of that scenario where you have colleagues and bosses and soup net to supervisor, whatever, where there's a lot of mask wearing too. You know, it just takes something to sometimes, depending on the environment, how fully self expressed you can or can't be, depending on an environment. So I think there's not limits to this, but there's things to be aware of, right? Like Definitely capitalize on your gifts and know what is customary or possible. You know, like just flat out saying anything you want to your boss, okay, you might

Spotting Inauthenticity In Real Time

Polly Mertens 20:30

have some limitations there, but but delivering your message and your authentic authenticity in the workplace is also important too.

Samantha Pruitts 20:39

And I don't think of it so much as like I'm gonna go around and educate everybody on what a badass I am, and blah, blah, blah. Even though perhaps I've done that. And if I have, I greatly apologize. But like I do work in some spaces, I work in teams, I you know, I still I'm still in that way. I'm not totally like self-self-self-employed while I'm where I'm a solo uhpreneur, but um, I do still think it's so important when you show up to be on a team or be a leader or be whatever, whatever your role is, okay. I even the barista, like you know, these are my people, okay. I still think it's so important that they can be themselves. And what I would coach for myself and for others, irrelevant of their age and whatever, is like if you're working in a space where you can't fully express who you are, that is gonna really lead to limiting productivity. Okay, I am not gonna be very damn good at this job, irrelevant of my experience in college education, all the things, I'm not gonna be very good. I'm surely not gonna be a high performer if I do not feel like you see me, you hear me, you respect me, you honor me. Yeah, I'm just not. And really, is that who we want to be working with or working for or working around? Hell no. I want to be around, you know, freak flying flag, all of you, all of you, and and the more energy you bring to the table because you are so fired up about like you feel safe here, you feel heard, respected, all of that, honored, you're gonna deliver the freaking goods. Yeah. And if you're not, because you're struggling, then I'm gonna know about it, or my team's gonna know about it, or the leader's gonna know about it, whatever. And we're gonna solve to that together.

Polly Mertens 22:25

I love that. So if you have, you know, any influence on the culture, whether it's you're a team member or you're the team leader or the owner or something like that, like setting the stage for people to be their most authentic self, you will get the most out of them, right?

Samantha Pruitts 22:38

Because 100%.

Polly Mertens 22:39

Yeah, yeah. So 100%.

Samantha Pruitts 22:41

Yeah, it's so how can they discover their genius? One of my um big tips in getting to this gifts, you know, what are my gifts is talk to people who know and love you, people who you respect, who respect you, and have honest conversations. Yeah, you know, you and I bounce stuff off all the time, and you know, we give each other that feedback. That's the kind of friendships you should have and be nurturing. Okay, you want those people in your life, you want to be surrounded by those people. Maybe they're not in your family, maybe they're not in your coworker space. It might be a friend circle, but it could also be professional peers, it could be anything, right? But like people who really know you and you just ask the question what do you think I'm good at? You know, when I show really show up, like when I'm really my best, how do you see me? What does that look like? What does that sound like?

Polly Mertens 23:28

Yeah, yeah.

Samantha Pruitts 23:29

Well, they're gonna tell you.

Polly Mertens 23:31

What do you appreciate about me? What are the qualities you appreciate about me or you admire? You know, like what you know, yeah. I think that's a good way of identifying it. Yeah, and surrounding yourself with those damn people, you know, they're not they don't have to be on a regular basis, they're not threatened by you, they're like they admire you, you know. I think one of the things is like if you were having your worst worst day, would people come out for you? Like those are the those are your people, you know, that's who we're talking about, is like people who, even when you're messy, even when you're, you know, you're not at your best. It's like they still see the best in you, right?

Samantha Pruitts 24:06

Totally. Exactly.

Polly Mertens 24:08

Exactly.

Samantha Pruitts 24:08

What are some of your ideas about people uncovering their gifts and really discovering that for themselves if they're just not really don't have awareness around it or really can't seem to figure it out?

Polly Mertens 24:19

Well, one thing we were doing in The Return to the Light, and I think I've done this in other is like, you know, and this is hard if you don't practice this, is like a journaling. You know, the question is like, what can I acknowledge myself for? You know, what do I want to be acknowledged for? And it's not like a doing, but like, like I'm a kind person, you know, I show up and I listen or I tell the truth, right? You know, whatever. Like, what are the qualities that you want to be acknowledged for, right? You know, I'm I'm reliable or loyal or whatever that the qualities are. But that's a good question, I think, to start to help you unpack it. It can take a little bit in the beginning to like be like, oh no, you know, not you know, because we got so much of this not wanting to look too big or too much or whatever, but like, hey, look, this is just you with you. And the other one you wanted me to talk a little bit about is um,

Tapping Your Genius And Gifts

Polly Mertens 25:10

as I've been studying the work of the Gene Keys.

Samantha Pruitts 25:13

Yes, the Gene Keys. Yeah, yeah. So cool.

Polly Mertens 25:17

So Gene Keys is uh it's a body of work by a guy by the name of Richard Rudd. You can look it up, Jean G-E-N-E. Keys. Mm-hmm. So it's gene keys.com. You can get a free profile on there. And it's, you know, it's a little bit uh related to astrology slash the each ging. You know, it's got eastern and western and and mystical mixed in with it. So it's it's beautiful. Go check it out. Anyway, you get this profile, sort of like sometimes people say, like, oh, I'm a Sagittarius or I'm a Gemini or whatever. Like, okay, go ahead.

Samantha Pruitts 25:50

Leo, Leo, you're all shocked.

Polly Mertens 25:53

Just like a Leo dolly. So, like, okay, that can tell you some things. Well, the Jinkeys is quite specific, it's just for your birthday, you know. And if you've ever had a, you know, your birth chart, like people go, oh, I'm a Leo, and it's like super generic, right? Like generic qualities about Leos, right? We know X, Y, and Z. Well, when you have your birth chart done, it's like, where were the planets in what houses when you were born, and you know, and it tells you way bigger detail, more specific to you. And gene keys is a little bit like layered on top of that. And it's um things that have to do with like, what are you, what are your gifts or your purpose, or things that your is your work in this life? Like, what are you here to like get through, grow through, you might say, right? So, and each one, there are these keys, like um picture like a I can't remember how many keys there are in each one. Maybe there's like 12 or 15, something like that. Each person has unique ones and in different places. And so each key has he calls it um a shadow and a gift, right? So if you had a a tile, like um one of mine, the shadow side is compromised. So, like when I'm not at my best, I'm compromising something uh, you know, my my heart, if you will, right? So I like, oh sure, we'll do that because you know, like just giving in too much or compromising, you know, not being my truth, not speaking up for myself, like all these compromises, right? So the gift is when I'm using my competence, you know, and and each key has a different shadow and gift, if you will. So when I'm trusting myself and I believe in my competence and I believe in like what I say matters, I believe, you know, I'm not gonna compromise on my values, let's say, right? I live my life aligned with, yeah, I know what I need, right? Like my inner competence, if you will. So that's one thing. I find it, you know, super helpful. The shadows tend to be like low frequency where we're not, you know, at our best, if you will. So it's a fun way to, you know, take a little glimpse into yourself.

Samantha Pruitts 28:03

Um, but I think they're keys, right? You can literally think of a key like unlocking a door in order to better understand yourself and the world. And who doesn't want to better understand themselves? Yeah. And what tripped me out, it was like it was uh time of birth, obviously date of birth, time, exact time of birth. I think also location, and I can't remember whatever the other things were that you put in. But uh it was pretty accurate and slightly shocking to me because I'm not the woo-woo on this team. You be the woo-woo. Okay. So I was like, what in the hell is she talking about over there, girl? But then when you did mine and read them to me, I literally had my mind blown. Yeah.

Polly Mertens 28:43

Yeah. It was cool. It's cool. And what's fun about it, and you know, gene keys can be like a whole thing that you go into. You're like, you know, I mean, it can be a self-exploration, I would say, which I think is fascinating and wonderful. And some people do it for years, you know. So like you can pick a key that you're working on, let's say. So, like me for compromise. Like this summer, I was really present to the gift and the the shadow in the gift, right? So just noticing, you know, like it's like putting on the lens of what not to do. Like, where am I compromising in my life? Okay, so and what's what's the opposite? You know, what's what's the gift in this? What do I really want to do? What's in my heart, if you will? So it's just an opportunity if you pick one and then you can work on that for a week, a month, six months, whatever it takes. Um, and some I think I would say like depending on where you are in your life arc, you may have like figured that shit out. You know, like there's definitely some where I'm like, yeah, I figured that one out already. You know, like I didn't even quite know it. But when the I saw the jean keys, I was like, yep, I I've been working. Work worked through that one in my 30s, you know.

Samantha Pruitts 29:53

So yeah. But if you're trying to really understand your gifts and the genius in the world, this can really help you professionally, it can help you with relationships. Yeah. You know, it's it all comes down to the same thing, knowing thyself.

Polly Mertens 30:08

Mm-hmm. And where, you know, if if you you know believe in what you find, if you discover, like, wow, I do tend to compromise. Okay, well, this is a great like reminder, like, oh, and and the antithesis

Culture That Honors True Self At Work

Polly Mertens 30:20

of that, or like how to, I would tell you, just knowing, like having the lens on, like compromises one of my shadows. And the other one, you know, I've got two that are like, I would say they're they're more like they're ongoing for me, right? Yeah, which is doubt and confusion. And those are like they sometimes get tied in a little knot, and then they like uh I was like, Oh, I'm in confuse and I'm doubting, I'm confused, and I'm doubting, right? Bad little loop that I can go into, and I know the antithesis, so I can get curious and I can use my imagination and get myself out of those little grooves of old thinking, old patterns, if you will.

Samantha Pruitts 30:55

Yeah, those are vortexes people fall into literally black holes, wah, spiraling, wee, you know.

Polly Mertens 31:02

So it can be very enlighten, enlightening, you know, to go, oh crap, doubt is one of my keys, like, and it's part of my life's work. Guess what? It's probably gonna be something I'm working on for a long, long time. So the opposite is is curious, curiosity and truth.

Samantha Pruitts 31:18

Yeah. Rather than focusing on I'm doubting, I'm doubting, I'm doubting, I'm doubting. Okay, well, let me obviously turn this around.

Polly Mertens 31:25

Exactly. Like, you know, so when I notice in my body the experience of doubt, right, or even thoughts of doubt, often I'll just like be in it and I'll be like, This why I feel so yucky because I'm so, you know, in the shadow, you know, I'm not in my energy, I'm not fully self-expressed. I'm over in this pattern that I've got that, you know, hey, there's another way. There's another way. And I can get curious and I can like find the truth in something. Like, what's my truth? Right.

Samantha Pruitts 31:53

So also expressing this like you are now and then talking to people about it. So I find this more when I'm coaching younger people who are in these really kind of pivotal places in their life in terms of like launching into school of choice or career of choice or relationship of choice or whatever, like big, you know, life pivot moments, is really getting them to express this out of themselves, right? These vortexes that they're stuck in, and just being able to give air to it and release it of its power, and then having somebody bear witness to that. So then I can pose questions or I can come counter to those thoughts as they're reprogramming these grooves, these deep grooves that are no longer serving them.

Polly Mertens 32:40

And we probably each, I'm guessing, have, you know, one or two that are our familiar home, you know, the disempowered shadows, you might say. It's like, ah, the doubt and confusion. Yeah, those are old buddies, you know, that I'm happy to no longer be friends with, but they're they still show up. So it's like, you know, the practice of mindfulness and awareness of them now, you know, like just having them put in front of me and go, oh, confusion. I'm like, that's what's been going on here. That's why it feels like this. That's what, you know, so it helped me get more awareness about what I'm doing, you know. Whereas when it stretches out and like it's not every day that I feel that, I don't, you know, you can't maybe not be as aware of it, but when you recognize it, you go, oh, this is that pattern. Oh, okay. Nope. What what do I do instead? Like what doubt? Yep, good old friend of mine. Not today, doubt, not today. Right.

Samantha Pruitts 33:33

So I really want to encourage people to add one more piece to this. And I just glided across it earlier, but it's taking some actual action and trying some things. Okay, so again, people, you know, trying to navigate through life decisions and figure out a path. First of all, the path is always changing. I literally talked to somebody today who's in their late 50s and is having another career pivot, right? And it's like the story was, you know, I just can't ever seem to figure these things out. It's like starting all over again. It's no, no, it is not at all that that is what is happening. Okay, that wasn't serving you, working for you, it wasn't the right fit. So now you get to go out, you get to go out and explore other opportunities, what might be possible. So it's really imperative that you do know what your gifts and talents are, you do know what your genius is. So as you put yourself out to the world, that's the signs you put up in the window instead of I'm for sale, it's like, hey, have you seen the

Ask Your People What They See In You

Samantha Pruitts 34:30

genius over here? Let me tell you about some of my gifts, y'all. Like, you need to be really ready to show up to that because as you know, that's what you're gonna attract. But if you're not regularly like trying new things and being willing to experiment, you know, I'm probably almost guilty of overdoing this sometimes. Like, I'll try all kinds of things. And they can be quite ridiculous, by the way. But I'm like, well, I didn't like it, and so I'll be leaving now. Or I tried this, it didn't work, so I won't be doing that again. But I'd rather like have explored it and at least tried it to see. I learned something every time about myself, which is the most important thing, and of course, about others in the world, which is also a great education to be getting. Indeed. Oh, you're those kind of people. Copy. All right.

Polly Mertens 35:16

I love it. I you know, oftentimes we, you know, putting that resume together is kind of what I'm picturing. You know, you put your resume together, like what are your what's a summary or what's your skills, or you know, things like that. It's like this is your personal resume, you know, like you're like you, like what makes you a little starlight, beautiful human being. Right. Exactly. Exactly. Love it. So what are what so we've gone over, they can acknowledge themselves, celebrate yourself, and like stop overlooking and brushing aside what makes you you and give yourself permission to be awesome, right? Um, some of it could be, you know, needing to set boundaries, you know, some of this like ways of being, of um not living your authentic life, is like you're taking on too much. You're saying yes when you mean no, you're you know, like not holding a boundary for someone to, you know, insult you or hurt your feelings or something like that, right? So some of this might be some boundary setting that maybe needs to happen, right?

Samantha Pruitts 36:12

And some of it might be that you just haven't tried enough things yet to know what your gifts are and what your genius is. It's we call it, we say unpacking gifts because it there's work to be done. Nobody's gonna deliver to you, right, the perfect life. Yeah. Whose life is this anyway? Right. And it's actually it's work, but it's the most exciting work you'll ever get. And it's not something to run from.

Polly Mertens 36:38

And I think too, you know, especially as you you age up, depending on where you are in you know, financial and family, and you know, things are quote, secure or whatnot, is like really leaning into what feels good to you, you know, like what comes easy for you? What do you enjoy doing most? What, you know, just that way of being, you know, like like you, like leading workshops, you know, or you know, like crushing it in the gym, you know, like there's things that just inherently are you get so much life out of them, right? So what do you feel most alive when you do it? What do you feel most ah, like you just have no limit, right? Or like you feel like a like a beautiful jacket that fits you perfect, or you know, shirt that fits you perfect. You're like, oh, this is totally me. I could wear this all day, you know, I could be this all day, right?

Samantha Pruitts 37:25

Exactly. And it's you teaching and guiding circles. It's the same thing. It's just your skin. It's the skin you wear, it's the gifts that you have, it's just who you are, right? So when you show up to those spaces, you feel freaking alive. You feel tapped in, dude.

Polly Mertens 37:41

And I can tell you where I know I would just say, like, how do no one is not like one of the ones that I feel for myself is um

Journaling And Self-Acknowledgment

Polly Mertens 37:50

like shopping? Like, oh, let's go shopping or grocery shopping. I'm like, can I just have somebody else do all that? Like, I know what I want. Here's it, here it is, go do that. Like the whole shopping thing, like I'm clearly not that person. You know, some people like love it, take me all day, you know, love to stroll the aisles and look. I'm like in and out. How you know, so that's not my genius zone. That's not no, but like, oh, and then you heard me when I was preparing the workbook for Return to the Light, right? Like this workbook. I was obsessed. The amount of hours that I spent, you were obsessed. Deck and piece of art. It it totally, you know, and I don't have a zillion opportunities that I put forth for myself to be that creator. That create, I mean, and I I didn't go to graphic design school, and I'm not, I don't have an Adobe Illustrator, so I'm not like skilled at that. But seeing like things come to light, like I made, oh my god, I made uh three pages of these little Pinterest style pictures with little quotes in them, and I custom made the little image and stuff because I just felt like these little love notes to you know the women in the circle, and it just was lighting me up. I'm all I gotta do more. I'm all may not do one of these on the, you know, all that's an example of your genius.

Samantha Pruitts 39:01

Yeah. Right? There it is, right there, just like that.

Polly Mertens 39:04

Something you just lose track of time doing, right? Or you could just be like, Yeah, I don't need to eat because I'm just gonna do this for the next 24 hours or something, right?

Samantha Pruitts 39:11

Absolutely. Everybody has this and they have multiples of these, right? Again, it's about them giving themselves permission to experiment and explore them, and then shine a light on them and put them into action. And you don't really need anybody else's permission. And really, we're giving you permission. You don't even need to give it to yourself. You should just start doing the damn thing.

Polly Mertens 39:29

Yes.

Samantha Pruitts 39:30

Permission granted.

Polly Mertens 39:30

Ding, go do it, go for it. The world needs this. Yes, find the things that light you up. You get lost doing, you could do it all day. Um, you feel most at home being, sharing, you know, expressing whatever it is. That that's those are some checks. Like, oh yeah, I love, you know, like me baking, it's not baking. No, don't love doing that all the time.

Samantha Pruitts 39:53

Tell me.

Polly Mertens 39:54

You hiking, uh-huh, being outside. Yeah, uh-huh. Going, you know, letting people in.

Samantha Pruitts 39:58

Hanging out in groups of people that are like talking about mental and physical health. I just hang out there all day long. All day long, all day long, and I can just go from group to group to group. I'm literally like talking, current counseling the person in line for coffee the other day. I'm sure they're like

Gene Keys: Shadows And Gifts

Samantha Pruitts 40:15

unsolicited advice from a random stranger. Got it. But it was a friend of Of a friend, and he asked me a question about my back surgery, but then he very quickly went into what do you think about CrossFit? What do you think? And I was like, How much time do you got? Yeah, yeah, two minutes in this line. Are you ready? Get your notepad. Are you ready? And he's like this 25-year-old young guy, and he was just like, Holy shit! Literally, I just lit a fire under this guy. I can't turn that off. That is just I want to be of service in that way, and it's just who I am in the world. And there's no me pretending I am not that person anymore. Okay. The old me would have been like, is he gonna think I'm weird? And is this embarrassing? And is everyone else listening? Because they all think I'm weird. And then, like, even that happens a lot, and other people will start coming into the conversation because they're eavesdropping. You know, oh, I heard you talk about crossword, oh, I heard you talk about Iron Man or whatever, you know, and they'll be like, Oh totally.

Polly Mertens 41:11

And you with the Wikipedia, like you are just like a suck all the information in possible. I'm a colander, I've decided like a sieve. It's all just coming in for those for those moments when a barista asks you just for that little information, you're like for that. I mean, here's AI, here's the Samantha AI version. Here, you know, so and that's how you know it's like it just feels like like you lit up, like you just lean forward into I I can't wait to give you that, do that for you, step into that. So I love this topic. This was really fun.

Samantha Pruitts 41:43

It was fun, and it's Christmas Day, so just to close for people, you know, the uh prior episode about how not to get fluffy and stressed out during the holidays. You might want to listen to that today, also if you missed that episode because you're like all up in it right now. Yeah, and we want you to feel good, yeah, for sure.

Polly Mertens 42:03

Speaking of feeling good, what do we want to remind our beautiful humans as we close out?

Samantha Pruitts 42:07

Oh, I want to do this today.

Polly Mertens 42:09

Oh, and if you're not seeing the visual, it says, be awesome today.

Samantha Pruitts 42:14

Yes. Because how your life feels is more important than how it looks. Can you believe I got this big jumbo sign? Where did that was that like at the dollar store? If we only don't have one of those. Now in my office, I know. I think we should have them made with our logo. Where did it go? Just you know, we're just gonna go put up road signs all over. Like neck under a stop sign, we're gonna put this instead.

Polly Mertens 42:34

Or the walking sign. Yep. Bing, yep, there we go. Be awesome today. Yep. All y'all.

Samantha Pruitts 42:38

What do you want to remind people?

Polly Mertens 42:40

Yes. Well, I was about to say how your life feels is more important. Which it is. How your life feels is more important than how it looks. And every day is your opportunity to find your awesome.

Samantha Pruitts 42:52

Good job, lady. I'll see you next week, huh? Happy holiday later, people. Merry Christmas.