107: Why You Slack - 3 Keys to Discipline with Coach Polly

Coach Polly solo this week- helping you start strong towards goals without burning out! We take a clear-eyed look at why goals fade—especially right after the new year—and share a practical blueprint for unshakable discipline that doesn’t rely on white-knuckle willpower. From honoring real-life grief and messy timing to dissecting the brain’s energy-saving bias, we map the traps that derail consistency: decision fatigue, vague rules, loopholes, and challenges launched at the worst possible moment.

Then we flip the script. You’ll learn how to design habits that actually stick by making them obvious, easy, and visible. We unpack why a compelling future matters, how to translate it into precise daily actions, and what to do when the “what-the-heck effect” whispers that one miss means total failure. We talk identity shifts—because every habit is a vote for who you’re becoming—and why the sweet spot for real change often lives in the 60–90 day range, not a quick 21-day sprint.

You’ll also hear how strategic discomfort builds resilience, like committing to 45 minutes outdoors rain or shine to train your nervous system and your resolve. We share simple environment design tweaks, the power of habit tracking for honest feedback and dopamine, and a clean recommitment plan that kills loopholes and reduces decisions. Whether you’re building a creative practice, shifting your health, or redefining your career, this is a step-by-step system for momentum you can trust.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who’s recommitting this year, and leave a quick review to help others find us. Tell us: what single habit will you vote for over the next 60–90 days?

Follow Coach Polly @getbusythriving and Coach Sam @thesamanthapruitt 

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Transcript

Opening And Samantha’s Loss

Polly Mertens 0:07

Hey superstars, welcome back. Polly here and now Samantha Pruitt. So um a little bit of news. Samantha is um grieving the loss of her brother this week. So just wanted to share that news. I'm sure she'll have it on social by the time this goes live. Sending out much love to her. Um, it wasn't a surprise. Her brother had been fighting cancer for the last couple years of his life, and uh he went, he passed peacefully just before Christmas. So much love to you. This episode is going live though, uh, after the new year in 2026. So this is our first episode in the new year. And I wanted to bring you something that was very present for me because as I was coming out of December, I had created a 75 hard challenge, but my own style. And so I want to share a little bit of

New Year Context And 75-Day Plan

Polly Mertens 0:55

what I've learned as a habit coach, success coach, um, having done many challenges in the past, you know, whether it's training or just breaking out of an eating disorder, a lot of things, and helping a lot of people. And that was a lot of the work that I did for many years with eating disorder recovery. So I've got a toolbox to share with you of ideas, and I'm calling this one, you know, why we slack off. You know, perfect um talk, I would say. Yeah, I'm not saying that people slack off in the first week of the new year, but I think this is a timely post and an episode to share with you anytime that you are facing something that you're trying to get up to, whether it's an identity work, creating, or breaking a habit, um, and just help you figure out like what's causing it. Like what are some of the things that are getting in my way and how to um overcome them, how to really work with what's going on in your brain. So, why we slack off in three keys to unshakable discipline is what we're talking about today. But we're gonna go into more. So, three I just thought was a nice round number, but I'm gonna give you more. So let me just set the stage. So, um, you know, most people think that failing a challenge or, you know, not being in integrity or something they said they were gonna get up to if they were gonna lose weight or, you know, stop smoking or drinking or eating disorder or whatever it is, you know, it's like a moral thing, like, oh, I'm such a bad person, I can't keep my word, and whatever. There is definitely an element of self-trust that goes into this, right? So we do um, you know, either when we're our word and we do keep our word to ourself, it builds self-trust and it does begin to erode self-trust. But I can tell you there's a lot more going on in your mind and that brain of yours, that the neuroassociations, the you know, the um brain, the way the brain works and the thing ways that it's designed, you know, it it works against us what we want to change, right? It likes, you know, the brain is an energy conserving mechanism. So if there's anything that it does to repeat things and not have to think about, so it's a lot of energy, calories, right? So um brain power, if you will, is very high caloric output. So you think that, like, oh, working out and doing all these things, but I can tell you actually is more calories in thought, like powerful thinking or working on problem solving

Why Willpower Alone Fails

Polly Mertens 3:15

or whatnot. People forget about that. So when the brain can conserve energy, that's what it likes to do, whether it's putting it in the subconscious and just doing it over and over and over, it wants to do that. So getting out of these old grooves, patterns, you know, change making change isn't something the brain's gonna be on board for right away. So some of it is working with that and finding the ways to not fault yourself like, oh, I'm a horrible person, you know, when we don't do what we intend to do. And so I'm just gonna put it out there. This episode, like I said, is going live in the new year. Um, but again, this is timely for anything and anytime that you're getting up to a challenge. So I'm sitting in the midst of I had created a 75 hard challenge and just give you a little context. 75 hard is a specific challenge. You can look that up online. It was great. I've done it a few times successfully. Um, I think it has like an 80% not success rate, and I'll probably go into like why I think that is. But you don't have to do 75 hard, you don't have to do what I'm doing in order to create change in your life. But let's set you up for success and like why we slack off and what's getting in the way so that you can prevent that in your own life. So I created a 75 hard challenge with my own set of stipulations, like the things that I wanted to get up to, basically moving the business forward, getting into what I call a high vibe life, right? So I wanted to create that high energy state. And it was right around the finishing of a program that I had launched, my return to the light, the end of the year, a lot going on. And then I went on vacation for five days. Like, and the purpose of the vacation was like, you know, I felt like I'd been in a marathon for about six months, and it was like, ha. So that's one of the things, just be aware of like, do you have days coming in this, you know, that you might be on vacation? Like, is this the right time to take on this, you know, new challenge? Or you got a lot going on in your life? Maybe, you know, just knowing the timing of things. So, you know, the they think people think that failing a challenge um is because you lack willpower, right? That's very common. It's like, I just can't get myself to do it. But it's often because you have a loophole or your brain is working against you, you haven't created compelling vision. Lots of different things we're going to go into today. So just know that it's not just because you lack willpower. Like in all my days of doing this, willpower is a muscle and you can strengthen it. You can get more willpower, you can grow willpower through, you know, little challenges and self-trust moves and stuff like that. But relying just on willpower is going to fail you. Like that's just classic addiction or you know, habit change or you know, recovery protocol is willpower is not enough, right? So we rely on systems, we rely on promises, we rely on, you know, setting yourself up to win, right? And yes, there will be challenges and things will be hard, but set yourself up to win. And there's some things that we're going to talk about today for for do that. So for me, so I started my 75-day challenge. It was random on a Saturday. I was in a slump and I was like, okay, I want to be feeling my high vibe life. So on that day, I created this, and it was good and I was feeling good. And I was, you know, one of my things was posting on social media every day because that is like a muscle I'm developing. And then went on vacation and I was like, blah la. Don't feel like, you know, don't feel like doing this. Um, I just want to be on vacation, you know, but I didn't set it up in advance so that I could be, right? So a lot of things that, and you know, when you are creating new habits, often it is every day that consistency. And I do want that muscle of posting every day. So that's where I am, you know. So I'm I'm out of integrity with myself. What I said I was gonna do is post every day, and I had some other things, and I actually could read what those are. But as I went back and I looked at them, you know, and being a habit coach, I was like, wow, I didn't set that up super well, did I? You know, some things were vague, there was loopholes. I didn't say, am I doing this for sure, for sure every day, or is it like when I feel like it for the next 75 days? And if I go on vacation, then I'm not because it's not convenient. You know, a lot of reasons there was slacking off going on. So I'm just calling it on myself. So, you know, I would say that um, you know, something that, you know, just to be aware of, and

Loopholes, Vagueness, And Timing Traps

Polly Mertens 7:35

this is where I want you guys to win and not be a part of this statistic, is that 80% of people abandon their New Year's resolutions by the second week of February, which is actually better than I've heard. I've heard it's like more like 21 days, or you know, in the first couple weeks. Um, but hearing it's you know the first week of February, that's not too bad, you know, after 30 days, but we want you guys to win. And, you know, just something maybe you want to know, a little tidbit, Polly's perspective. Having done 75 Hard and having coached a lot of people, having looked at 21-day challenges, 30-day challenges, 60, 90, whatever. I don't think habits necessarily um are change or can be put in place in 21 days. I think it's longer than that. I do think the 30 days is a good start. 60, it's like becomes a muscle. 75 is great because it's actually like you've stopped to stop thinking about it, like you've done it enough time. So I would say 60 to 90 is a good sweet spot if you're really wanting to put yourself into something because you really want that change. 21 is not enough, 30 is barely enough. Um, and it depends on how complex it is or how big of a shift it is for you. So just know that too. So just keep in mind, falling off, slacking off is not failure. It's just data, you know. And the way I look at it is like, okay, what was not working? Like, what didn't I set up? So I'm gonna go through some of those. So um, what what happened in my 75-day challenge that I'm re-upping um as a as a part of today, so I'll share that with you. So, you know, your brain follows the path of least resistance, right? So it's all about like energy efficiency. I just want you to think about that in anything that we're talking about, is the brain wants to be energy efficient. Conserving calories is what it's up to. So if it has to make decisions, if it has to do something different, if it has to learn, if it's growing, if it's creating new synapses in the brain, if it's like, uh, what is it you're saying? You know, or like, what do I have to do? Or if it has to remember something that it's it's not done before, like that's a lot of energy output, right? And it's like patholase resistance. Like, can't we just do this? Like, look, we've done this for 20 years, you know, like let's just keep doing this. So that's just the way that your brain is operating, right? So decision fatigue is one is is a real thing for the brain, right? So, you know, especially I'm guessing you've had this, you know, they say we get like bombarded by like 60,000 marketing messages each day, right? And we have, you know, some of us sometimes hundreds, if not thousands, of decisions left or right, wear this, wear that, eat this, dry that. Do you want it warmer, colder in here? Do the kids want to go here? Whatever, like all the things. So decision fatigue is a real thing. We're talking about energy conservation. So one of the things I I note that I did not set up clearly in my challenge is I gave myself loopholes, right? It was like I didn't say that I'm doing this hell or high water. When I did 75 hard, I created the criteria of what I was gonna do. And what was what I recognize also with the original 75 hard that I did. Well, so that one, some of them what they are is like exercise for 45 minutes, take a picture of yourself every day. Um, I think it had a gratitude component. I, you know, anyway, so there was like six or seven things, and you had an app to track it. That's key. We'll talk about that in a minute. Um but I wasn't in my 75 hard challenge. This that's what I'm calling 75 day challenge. I wasn't specific enough. I was like posting on social. I was like, well, am I sharing? Am I making a post? Am I making a reel? Am I you know? Just wasn't clear. And there was another one with regard to like um one, you know, activities in my business each day, which won't like super vague, right? That's that's not good. So just like one reel a day, one post a day, um, make a phone call a day to call a lead or whatever it is, right? So the more specific, the more time-bound, finite, and I would say things that are like super complex. Like I started rethinking of like what could these be? And I, you know, so I was thinking of like my business. I'm like, okay, well, let's say I'm not gonna do a every single day. Like if it's a Sunday, I'm not gonna, you know, cold calling people, or if it's you know, a holiday, what you know. So it's like, what can I do and what can I commit to doing everyday hell or high water? And then I started to get into things that like, oh, that would be really complex, and

Start Small And Reduce Decision Fatigue

Polly Mertens 12:05

like to have that occur, that could be like a lot. So one of the things is if you're doing first off with habits, start small and take baby steps working into it. So, you know, one of my big points that I've spoken on this podcast before is if you want to meditate for an hour a day, and not even say that you need to, or that's a good goal, but let's just say, or exercise for an hour a day, or get sunshine for an hour a day, or walk in nature for an hour a day, start small and work up to it, right? Especially if you're doing that 75 or 90 days, that's great, you know, building that momentum. But just going from cold not doing something to like doing it for an hour, carving that out every single day, that's a big shift, you know. And I would say in 75 Heart and challenges that have multiple things going on, that's why 75 Heart has such a high dropout rate, I think, is you're not just doing one new thing, you're doing like six for most people, right? Some people are like, well, I already kind of work out every day, so just shouldn't much more. It's like, yeah, 75 Heart has like one indoor workout and one outside workout. It's like, who's doing that right now? Probably zero people are doing that just every day, right? So you may need to start with just one habit. So I have this list, my 75 Heart is lots of new and you know, and being very specific about them, right? And making them as simple as possible to start, right? So, you know, it could be five minutes a day of meditation, especially if you're taking on multiple things, or if if carving out five minutes, like carving out an hour in your day seems utterly impossible. Like, I don't know how I'll ever get there. Okay, start up small, start with a five-minute one, right? Make it easy, make it achievable. So just, you know, we want to get you over that 21-day, 30-day into the 60, 90-day window. So then it becomes a habit, right? Um, so falling off, like I said, it's just data. We're working with the past, path of least resistance in this brain of ours. Um, and I would say something that I didn't do, and I did this in 75 heart. So my commitment to myself, and it's the commitment if you take on 75 heart as a challenge, was you do it every day. And the way they have it is if you if you miss a day, you start over. So like 75 turns into 85 or 105 or 300 or whatever, you know. And some people I know like finish 75 heart and then they re-up. It's like, God bless you, you know. That's cool. If that's totally working for you. So I would say having zero options or zero backs, or out, you know, like, oh yeah, well, I'll do it unless this happens, or I'll do it, and if it's raining, I won't. Like, no, that's a decision. No, there's every day. Like, don't commit to it. And you may need to look at your calendar over whatever period, 30 days or whatever you're doing, and just like get a glimpse of like what's ahead. Like, I love just throwing in, like, throwing down the hammer, like, I'm doing this, you know. But then what I what occurred for me is like on vacation for five days, and I didn't keep that do it no matter what, right? So, like, I just was like, I'm on vacation, and I like totally was like, I'm getting off screens, I'm getting off, you know, doing, I've just got to slow down. Cause like I was at the end of the marathon after my program, I was like, uh, I'm I'm done for a little while. Like, probably doesn't have any doing or wants to. So I was like, funny that I put myself into this challenge right when you know that was like seven days into it, and then here I am wanting like a real break. So the timing wasn't so good. So that's why I am re-upping to mine. So, you know, there is a thing out there called the what the heck effect. So it's actual psychological term, and once you break a rule, um, the brain decides the whole system is broken, leading to total collapse, right? So it's like, ah, screw it, not gonna do it. Like, I missed a day, whatever. I would say one day, well, in 75R, you don't miss or you re-up, right? So, like, I think like sticking to that, hell or high water is actually a good thing if you're really gonna like if there's something like a smoking habit, right? Or something like you really don't want to do, or you really do want to do. No, do you need to be exercising seven days a week, you know, 365? No, no. But I do think that all or nothing removes that decision fatigue. It's like, I don't get so like I'm starting this, and and I'm actually starting this. I'll just tell you a little story. We're about to get some severe flooding here. As I'm recording this, it's coming today, and it'll be for the next

All-Or-Nothing, What-The-Heck Effect

Polly Mertens 16:40

three days. And I'm like, okay, I'm committing because I really enjoyed that getting outside 45 minutes. And I know that doing things that are hard trains your nervous system, trains your body. Like we do things that are hard, right? Like it, like it, it like elevates you, you know, that high vibe life. It's like I do things even when they're hard, right? So I was like, whoo, I know, right? Like, you know, like in the winter, yeah, it's gonna rain or snow, right? Um, and there was actually one time I think when I did it, I had to go out in the snow now that I think about it, because I was traveling. Anyway, so neither here nor there. So let's talk about something else that was missing for me. So the I would, I would call I like the word a compelling future or a compelling vision. So a lot of people that talk about creating habits and why do these challenges is focus on the system, focus on the habit that you're doing, focus on the daily, don't focus on the outcome. I found that when I was disconnected, like I created all these, like I want a high vibe life, but I really wasn't connected to any outcome. Like I was like, oh, that just sounds good. And it's like, why bother? You know, 75 hard. I would say I didn't have a specific outcome, but I but the outcome was I wanted to commit to something for myself. Did I want to be exercising more? Yeah, actually, at the time I did. I think it had no sugar and no caffeine. Yeah, there was a couple others, and I was like, you know what? That sounds good for me right now. So that the outcome, sometimes it's like this growth arc that you're on, and you want to grow into something or become something. Um, knowing what that is, just having a connection to it. Like, especially when you have those weak moments, you're like, I'm sorry, why am I doing this again? Besides, I said I was gonna do it, like, why am I doing this? So, knowing that there is something in there that's your why. Like, why is it meaningful to you that you do a challenge, that you put yourself through these things, that you walk in the rain, that you whatever, do something that's hard. You get up and you meditate, and oh, it's so hard to meditate, you know. But like it is harder to get up early, to make time for those things, right? To prioritize yourself. Um, so I would say having a connection to a compelling future. Now,

Compelling Future And Clear Outcomes

Polly Mertens 19:00

some say, you know, from the book, The Atomic Habits, and I'll give you some of the um, that's a great book, James Clear. So James Clear says, focus on the habit, not the goal. I would say, yes, but also have an outcome. Like have a goal. Don't just be like, I don't know why I'm doing all this. I don't know why I'm doing these habits. Like I said, other than I wanted the the rigor of the 75 days in a row of whatever those things that I was doing, that could be the goal is I want to have that rigor. I want to set up these structures, I you know, and see what something I'm gonna discover about myself. Or it may be because I want to have something in the future, whether it's a physical ailment that you want to improve or, you know, nervous system reset, financial, it could be whatever, relationship. I want to be dating, you know, things like that, right? So I'd say have a compelling future, and I agree with him, focus on the habits, focus on the daily. Um, and part of mine though is also I do like. Visualizing, you know, that is part of mine is visualizing that future fulfilled on the daily. So maybe that works for you, maybe it doesn't. Um, and I would say that you know, as we get into the keys, so when I said there was three keys to unshakable discipline, I think one of the three keys, and and James Clear in his book says like this is one of them, but it's making your um your habit obvious, easy, visible. Okay, so you know, one of the stories, well, something that's you know, the way this looks is um people who want to floss at night, right? Put it, don't put your floss like up in the medicine cabinet or put it like tucked away or something, or like don't have floss in the house, but like put it right next to your toothbrush, like leave it out on the counter or leave it wherever you leave your toothbrush so those two be it becomes visible and obvious and and easy. It's like, oh, I'm right here, you know. Um, and some habits I

Make Habits Obvious, Easy, Visible

Polly Mertens 21:00

would say that is a little harder to do than that one is. Um, and maybe the obvious could be like I have this um tracker sheet, right? So having a habit tracker sheet, if the habit itself or the thing or the task, it's like meditating isn't like a visible thing, but maybe like you have a certain area that you're gonna meditate in, right? So you you walk by it or you see it, or um you have a reminder, post-its, stickies, reminders on your phone, um, something that you look at every day, like a habit tracker. So you it reminds you of it. So make it obvious, make it easy, and make it visible, whatever that looks like for you. So that's a really good one. So there's your three keys, and I'll give you more, but um I just want to throw that in. Something that I think is important to mention right now that you know, in the study of habits and why do them, and definitely a lot of the work that I do with people is at the level of identity shifting, not just a habit. Like, oh, I you know, I want to um I don't know, not drink caffeine, right? Let's say, for example, like you're like, oh, I want to wean myself off caffeine. Um, that maybe or maybe not is a tie tied to an identity, but there are definitely some that are like smoking and non-smoking, like I identify as a non-smoker, right? Or do you identify as a smoker, right? And which which do you want to have? So the level of identity, the habit, and the this these challenges are actually you signaling to yourself your daily commitment to that new identity. So the disciplines, the actions, the steps that you take, the you know, the tracking of your little mini moments that you're putting in towards who you're becoming, or it's a vote, you would say, for who you want to be. Right now I have on my vision board, I don't think I have it handy, I'd share it with you, but

Identity Shifts And Daily Votes

Polly Mertens 23:00

I have this quote and it says, be her, right? And it's all about be that woman, god damn it, that you see yourself be like I talked about the goal, like in 90 days, who you want to be, or maybe it's a little bit longer, you know. Like I have a dear friend who's going through therapist training right now. That's a three-year thing. Like she's not that, you know, she's being that now because she's daily committing to the study of it, right? So she's committing to what it takes to be her, to be a therapist, to be him, whatever, you know. But my little thing is be her. I actually woke up this morning and it was amazing. Like my mind just woke up and said, Oh, today's the identity shift. And I didn't know that this was necessarily going to be the topic for today's podcast, but it was like, wow, like reminding myself, like I am stepping into a new identity. And for me, it's all around being a world-class, worldwide international speaker, like being on stages all over the world. Like that is my who I'm living into and becoming, right? So part of this with the podcast is part of it. But what are the daily actions? What does she do? Like my daily votes for her, for who I say I am, we're either doing them or not doing them, right? Like, am I taking steps? If I was already her, how would she be living today? What would she be up to today? What are the actions she would absolutely do today, right? Or absolutely not do today. So that's like one framing of it is from an identity shift perspective, these daily small disciplines, goals, you know, habits, rituals that we're doing, they are a vote for or against who you say you are. What's the identity, right? So, you know, for example, when I became vegetarian, it was like, it was, no, I don't eat chicken, right? Like it was A, it was a hard no. It was like hard no, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. No, I am now vegetarian, right? And so not eating chicken was like a hard no. And what would she do now? And now, you know, if I'm offered it, well, maybe I will today, or oh, that looks really yummy. No, I don't do it. It's like, and for various reasons, but like that's a yes or no for you, right? Like, is that a vote for that identity that you say you are? I am, whatever. And and like I said, the habit may be I'm just not drinking coffee, not taking caffeine. I don't know if that's at the identity level, and that maybe some way we could say I'm like, I'm not a coffee drinker or something like that. But there are definitely people and practices, and I would say something like a 75 heart or 75-day challenge, you're often getting up to because there's an identity level shift that you're out to explore, right? Which I wholeheartedly believe in. I love that kind of habit change, right? Little ones, yes, like, oh, you know, do these little things, but like when you're at the level of identity, man, that shifts the direction, the trajectory of your life. Like you're going in one direction and then you make a shift. It may be gradual, it may be pretty abrupt. Your life is on a different course. The outcome of where you're gonna end up in one year, five years, ten years could be and will be radically different than if you stayed on that old course, right? You voted for the direction that you're going in. So wanted to add that. Um, you know, I wanted to share a couple of things for you know, rebuilding the system. So, one of the couple of things that I've mentioned already with my 75 hard challenge was I hadn't created a compelling future. Like, why do this, right? Um, not just because I need another 75 days of challenging shit in my life, right? But like, why do it? Um, and the clarity around each of my things, as I went back and looked at them, I was like, these are clear as mud. Good grief, right? No wonder I'm not taking action. Third, they weren't visible to me. Like I didn't have it like always right. Like I didn't like have like one habit is going and looking at it, right? Like having it all laid out. I posted it on social and then it was like, it's out there. And it's like I kind of was related to it, like I kind of knew what they were, but uh-uh, like, no, no, no, no. And then they weren't specific enough, right? Like are and actionable enough, like they were just way too vague. So definitely, you know, our discipline loves visibility, right? I said it earlier make it easy, make it obvious, make it visible. If your habit, if your habit or your actions aren't on a whiteboard or a tracker or in your phone, calendar, wherever you want to put them, fridge, I don't care, somewhere you go to, and you're likely to see, not likely, you are gonna see every day. The more often the better, especially if it's something that's like 75 hard, you could have like six things and you're not doing them all at the same time. You need to like be present to it throughout the day or have it built into your calendar or your schedule or something. So if your habit isn't on a whiteboard and you're not tracking it, your mind, just so you know, like I have found this for many, many times, and that's why I like little paper habit trackers or a whiteboard. You're putting those little X's or the little check marks on your your whiteboard or your tracker, it's pure dopamine. I swear to God, it is like especially as a woman, I think, but I think men too. It's like, oh, look at me. Oh yeah, I did that, like I did that. So having it, and I noticed on mine when I was tracking from the beginning, I was like, it was more erratic than I thought. I was like, I thought it was a really good, you know, at doing things. And I see here, I was like, I'm hitting about some of them.

Rebuilding The System And Tracking

Polly Mertens 28:30

I'm hitting 90, some of them I'm hitting 95. Some of them not doing, like, I'm resisting. There's one that I well, and here's the thing like, so I um created this habit, or like I had like way too many. I look at this when I was tracking these from December, and I had 75 heart, and there's other ones. I was like, there's too much, right? I need to make it succinct, and ones that actually matter, and why? So I have this one it's like less than 15 minutes of window at bed. So I want to when I get in bed, I want to be like lights out within 15 minutes. And I was like, that wasn't helpful, that wasn't serving me. Like I actually enjoy being in bed and you know, just kind of listening to the things I like to listen to, or drawing, or reading something in 15 minutes, while it has a good intention, um, it wasn't enough time. So that's why I was like, So I can revisit that. I can keep it or I can change it. Should I make it 30 minutes or like max 30 minutes? Okay, that sounds like that should be enough. So, do I want to keep tracking that or am I doing okay? Like, do I even need to be worried about this? Like, is it a thing? Right? Another one I put on here, um, love letters and gratitude each night. I was doing it. I was like, after like 10 days, I was like, um, I mean, I enjoyed it some, but it was like, wasn't moving the needle for the for what it was taking. I was like, no. Now you have to be careful. That is a fine line. So like I don't feel like it, right? When you commit to something, I do think it's important that you decide what is the purpose of this? Like, is this meaningful to you? Is this um like I do think so? There was a you know, like the taking the picture of yourself in 75 Heart, I get why they do it in the outward expression, like if you're sharing that on social and you're like trying to lose weight or something like that. For me, it was just like another thing, but it only took me like 30 seconds to do, right? So it wasn't a big thing. But this love letter and the gratitude was taking me like 10 minutes every night. And I started to go, I just don't care. Like I do um gratitude prayers in the morning, you know, send out you know, great gratitude energy in the morning. So at night, and then the love letter just wasn't necessary. I was like, Yeah, why am I doing this? Right. So it is okay to evaluate those things, and like I would definitely say like having too many going on at the same time, like a 75 heart is a big challenge because it's a lot going on at the same time. So maybe do one or two or three at the most. Start with the one, get that sucker on board, especially if it's one you've been putting off or haven't been able to be successful with, or whatever, whatever. Stick to the one. And then if you feel like you've got like disciplined muscles, you know, not just rolling on willpower, but disciplined muscles, you're getting good at these, then start to stack them, right? Like I've been doing challenges and stuff for many, many years. So when 75 heart came around, it was a good challenge. I it was, and I did it twice and really enjoyed it, and I got a lot out of it. So there you go. So, and I will say, you know, I am adding in the for my 75-day challenge, 45 minutes of outside time. And as I said a little bit earlier, it's because of that. A, I know it's beneficial. A, I've just listened to a new podcast and so much about how beauty and creativity, whether we're engaging in it, like we're singing or we're creating art or we're admiring

Outdoor Time, Hormetic Stress, Resilience

Polly Mertens 32:00

art, we're beholding it, right? And nature is like a natural artistry canvas for us. Like that's where we came from, right? We're a part of nature. And it's like beholding that, whether it's small ways, you know, like looking at flowers and walking on the sidewalk, maybe a little urban jungle, if you will. But being outside, hey, the movement, I know it's really good for my digestion, for sunshine on my face, lots of good benefits. Yeah, when it's raining, it sucks. And that's also good for me. You know, I don't do cold plunges. I'm not doing saunas, you know, things like that right now. So it's like, okay, this is this is my hard challenge, right? Things to overcome to you know, create that. It's called um hormetic stress, right? Where it actually like short bursts of voluntary discomfort. It can be cold or rain or hard exercise or things like that. Um, they actually strengthen your nervous system, right? You're not just getting fit, it's like biologically upgrading resilience, right? Like I can withstand 45 minutes. Like I remember one time I did this boot camp in the uh uh country area of New York, upstate New York. It was in the middle of summer, and I was like, oh, that's gonna be some humidity. Boy, was I right. And they would have us stand out there just in the beating down sun for like an hour, and I was just literally dripping, and and I got through that pain point in my mind of like, this fucking sucks, you know, like this, and then at some point I was like, I'm just standing in the sun and it's hot and I'm sweating. I'm like, I'll go take a shower, I won't be here forever, you know. Like, like I burst through an old paradigm I had that like being in humid weather is so hard. It's like not anymore. It's not, you know, not that I want it, but like bring it on. I can take it, right? Like I learned that about myself now. I'm like, sure, I can be in hot weather, I can be in hot, sticky weather, I can sweat my ass off. Okay, no problem, right? I have that resilience, I have that memory now. Like, okay, I can do this, right? And then it's like, well, if I can do that, what else? Right? Like, that's part of what resilience creates in us is people are so, especially with their children, they're trying to protect them and make their world so soft and easy and no upsets. And it's like, hold up. How are they gonna get stronger? How what you know, life ain't always easy, people. It's not always going to be sunshine and rainbows when you want to, you know, get up to something bigger in your life. You want to create something, you want to like explore, you want to go outside of your safety zone. And if you don't have it inside of you to be like, yeah, this is nothing, like, yeah, you know, I think people that get up to the biggest stuff have faced such hard, have put themselves into, or life has put them into such big challenges that they have that resilience, right? So that's why I'm adding it in for mine. So, you know, remember habits don't live in your head, they live in your environment. Okay, so like with sticky notes and trackers and put it in your calendar. If you don't have a visual like command center, a checklist or a board you're relying on, you you're probably setting yourself up for failure, right? So that's a must-have, right? Um, something else to note, um, just how your brain works, and this is neuroscience, is your brain automatically, you, your brain, automatically moves towards pleasure and moves away from pain. Sounds simple, right? So just know that like the brain is gonna do things to avoid pain, right? So it's going to be not wanting to for me to go outside. It's gonna like give me all sorts of reasons and all sorts of things, but that's where you have that no excuses, like that that like zero, you know, zero outs effect, right? When I did 75 hours, like you do these six or seven things

Environment Design And No-Loophole Rules

Polly Mertens 36:00

every day. There's no except when there is none of that. It's always every single day. And so be mindful of the things that you commit to. Is it plausible? Is it feasible? Even if it's gonna be hard and on days it's gonna be challenging, is it can you do those things every day? So you don't have to miss or you don't have to whatever, like, oh shoot, and planning ahead. Like for my social posting while I was on vacation, I could have worked ahead of time to have my posts go live. Like that could have been something that I've done. That's not the design of like a 75-hard program, is like you're actually doing something every day, but just know that you may need to create something so that if you physically can't, or just be mindful. Like there was a time, um, well, it's like, and sometimes you'll just like forget. I remember one time I had gone to bed, uh, I had got in bed, and I think I was like mentally thinking about my list uh for 75 heart, and one of them was taking a picture. I don't I literally had to, I mean, I was like all in bed and cozy, and I had to like jump up and get out of bed and take a picture and then get back in bed, right? That wasn't like go out for 45 minutes, but I did have to do that one time. I remember being like, oh crap, I didn't get that in and walking late at night. Like, oh man, this ain't so fun, but whatever. Like, that's the commitment. All right. So actionable steps. So the clean recommitment. I am committing to mine. I'm re-upping. I'm 75 begins today. Nah, it's gonna begin tomorrow because like today's like nearly over. So I will commit to 75 hearts starting tomorrow with my 75-day challenge for my commitments, right? That's it. Um, making them super clean. I've got them already identified here. 45 minutes of outdoor exercise, daily posting or sharing on Instagram and Facebook, like specific posting or sharing, um, which means like a story instead of like creating it every single time because I know that there's gonna be times where you know, generating that. Um, and I do want to be, and and part of what's not here, but I am doing in the background is studying those things, right? Like, so some things you might need to like study, like flossing your teeth, you don't need to study, but like some things may require, like if you want to grow in that area, like I want to grow as a content creator. It's like, okay, and I'm also studying so that my posts are more effective. I'm not just the blah blah blah, you know, like hit post on you know things that don't matter. I want to get better at that. Kill the loopholes. So, you know, the rain or shine rule is like rain or shine doing that thing, right? No loopholes, no loopholes. Create a physical display, put it somewhere out, make it visible, easy, and obvious. Um, this is a good example. I just want to mention this. So one of the stories in Atomic Habits was about he wanted to be a guitar player. He wanted to practice his guitar. Well, his guitar would sit in his, you know, he had an apartment and it was uh in the closet, right? And he wasn't, he wouldn't play. He'd come home from work and like sit and sit down in a chair, but he wouldn't play his guitar. And he's like, damn. So what he did is he put a stand and he put the stand right by the chair. It was obvious. It was easy. He didn't like even that little bit of work, like get up and go. Some things are gonna be more work, like go to the gym

Recommitment And Specific Daily Actions

Polly Mertens 39:20

or get all dressed for outside gear or whatever, but like making it obvious, easy, and visible. So just a reminder on that. Okay. And I would say, you know, create that compelling future, right? So when we have something we're living into, or like what is it you most want about this? Really is powerful and effective to pull you towards that result, right? Whatever that is. So so that could be yours. Um, and now your your daily actions compound. Your daily actions compound. It's a vote for who you're becoming. If it's an identity level shift that you're out to create, I am X, right? You're voting with everything. Every single day that you do this. So, like I said, I would encourage you at the identity level to do 60 or more days, 60 or 90, I think is a sweet spot. All right. I hope this has been beneficial. Why we slack off? Lots of reasons, right? We got a damn brain that's all about energy efficiency. It's not 100%, you know, aligned with our goals all the time. It's aligned with efficiency and comfort and sameness, right? It just wants to keep you safe and sane and alive. It doesn't want you necessarily going for big dreams. So you gotta work with it. You gotta train it, you know, and just I hope these three keys and more have been helpful to you in seeing what traps we fall into and how to get yourself out of them. So if there was a one thing I would say, I'd say the one thing takeaway for today is really don't have to take on the 75-day and the format of that, like multiple things at the same time. I would say always with habits, it's start small and build. So like the one thing is like, what is something you either are or want to, or something you've been putting off in the background? Or it's like this is the year for like a big ass identity, like my favorite book right now, the pivot year. Like, if this is a pivot year for you, what is what is what are the habits, what are the ways of being, what are the doing, not doing, being, not being that you're out to create that would have you in six months, a year, five years be the person that you're living into. So I hope that was helpful to you. Much love to my co-host, Samantha Pruitt. Hearts are with you, of course, to all of you guys wishing you an amazing year, amazing start to your year. Go get it big and remember how your life feels is not as important as how it looks. No, that's not it. And remember, how your life feels is not as important. And

One Big Takeaway And Closing

Polly Mertens 42:00

remember, how your life looks isn't as important as how it feels. And every day is your opportunity to find your awesome.