114: "A Year to Live" Course / Concept Introduction

What actually changes when you live as if time is short? We open a year-long journey inspired by Stephen Levine’s A Year to Live and the Spirit Rock program led by Vinny Ferraro, Pam Dunn, and Frank Ostaseki, and we get honest about fear, freedom, and what becomes radiant when you stop pretending you have forever.

We start with the roots of this work—Levine’s years at the bedside of the dying and Ostaseki’s Five Invitations—then pull it into daily life. Samantha shares the raw lessons of showing up for family at the threshold, why separating the dying body from death itself can soften panic, and how understanding the physical process and pain management replaces vague dread with grounded compassion. We look at beliefs we were handed by family, religion, and culture, and how unexamined stories can keep us running from the very moments that matter most.

From there we get practical. A life review begins with a simple timeline—no judgment, just truth—followed by a loving audit of “unfinished business.” Think letters, apologies, and clean boundaries framed as a “going out of unfinished business sale.” We add the Buddhist practice of noting to wake up in real time—notice, name, and release—so presence becomes a trained reflex, not a slogan. We also explore near-death experiences: recurring themes of expansive love, life review, and timelessness that invite curiosity over fear and reshape how we meet ordinary hours—washing dishes, standing in line, talking with strangers.

The throughline is simple: how you live is how you die. If you rehearse resentment, you will likely die tight. If you rehearse presence, repair, and gratitude, you give yourself and your people a gentler ending—and a richer today. Listen to spark your own experiment, start your timeline, or just plant the seed for when you’re ready. If this conversation moves you, follow the series, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find their way to this work.

Follow Coach Polly @getbusythriving and Coach Sam @thesamanthapruitt 

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Transcript

Framing “A Year To Live”

Polly Mertens 0:08

Hey superstars, welcome back. Polly here. Sam Pruitt in the house. What's up, beautiful humans? Yo yo. Today, you guys, this is the start of okay, so it's 2026. This year, something Samantha has taken on if you haven't listened to come some of our recent episodes. We're calling this A Year to Live. A year to live, modeled, after modeled, or titled by the book by the famous author Stephen Levine. And tell us, my dear, what are we talking about today? What is a year to live about?

Samantha Pruitt 0:39

Yeah. So A Year to Live is, of course, the book, but it's also a program that came out of that work. Okay. So you can get the book and read it. You can get the audio book. It's very, very fascinating to hear her told, heard it, hear it read by the author. He's no longer with us. He passed away in 2016. Um, but what I am undertaking, in addition to reading the book, uh, is going through a program through Spirit Rock Meditation Center. So that's in California. And then I've got three instructors: Vinny Ferraro. Oh, your favorite. Pam Dunn. I'm obsessed with Vinny. Pam Dunn, she's also totally awesome, badass. And then the other author of the second book that we'll bring up here, okay, Frank, and I believe it's pronounced Ostasecki. Sorry, Frank, if I didn't pronounce that correctly.

Polly Mertens 1:35

Yeah, yeah. The five invitations. That's the book.

Samantha Pruitt 1:38

The five invitations.

Polly Mertens 1:39

So these are the curriculum, or these are the books that are part of the curriculum of this year-long program that you meet once a month and additional things started in January, goes all year. And um, do you know some of the history? I could teach uh talk a little bit about the history that I know from where I live in San Luis Obispo, but what what do you know about the history of this?

Samantha Pruitt 1:58

And what it's what it's well, this program's been around forever, since literally the book, right? And so um Levine used to go and with his wife, go and basically work with the dying. Okay, and through their work, they decided to come up with basically their own program for themselves and anyone who wanted to undertake it with them to act as if they had a year to live. Yeah, yeah, to act as if.

Polly Mertens 2:26

So I think the book is from the mid-90s, and one of the things I remember from one of the first chapters is he talks about like on January 1 or like New Year's Eve, he was like, Okay, next year I'm living as if I have a year to live, right?

Samantha Pruitt 2:38

Like yeah, they did the whole start it on New Year's Eve. I have not done that. Listen, my year has been ready.

unknown 2:44

Yeah.

Origins, Books, And Instructors

Samantha Pruitt 2:45

So I'm just getting my um feet wet with the programming, and the course actually didn't even start until about a week ago, so it's like late January. Um, but then we go through the end of January 2027. So it is a 12-month program, but we don't start it on January 1, like his model. But basically, there's a whole process, um, practices and a process around acting as if you have a year to live. And they walk you through it and you do do some practices. We'll briefly mention some of the practices today, but we're not gonna do a deep dive on all the practices because this is a year-long program, people get a grip. But we're here to tell you today, just sort of like, hey, this is what it is, this is why we're doing it. We have our individual reasons, and then maybe consider something like this, or maybe just plant a seed in your brain that at some point in your life trajectory you might make space for something like this. I decided to do this. First of all, I've been looking at this program for years. Oh so I've been watching the and I found out about this program probably three years ago. It was a podcast interview. It was Vinny being being interviewed. Um, and he just briefly mentioned the program in the interview. It wasn't the the interview was not about the program. And I was like, what is that? Insane, ludicrous. What cut what? And of course, you know, for me, it just struck a chord. And I was like, at some point, I need to check that out. And then I just really didn't have bandwidth for making it happen. And then also it's hard to get in, so it does sell out. Now, last year I was experiencing familiar family and friends, disease, death, and dying on a very personal level. Yeah, yet again, it's not my first rodeo, but I was like, okay, if I can get into the program this year, I'm gonna get in. And then I saw Vinny was one of the primary instructors, and I was like, oh, hell yeah, I will be the first one registering. Open, open, open. So good. And so I got in. So I'm in the program now. There's uh just under 700 of us globally. 700 globally. I mean, shh.

Speaker 3 4:58

Amazing, amazing.

Samantha Pruitt 5:00

And yeah, we had our first um class basically that was three and a half hours long. And then in addition to being in this once-a-month big group with a collective, um, we have breakouts, which are basically what they call home groups. And you have a small group of people. There's nine in my home group, they're all females from California. So that's kind of cool because we have already pretty much decided we're gonna get together physically at some point in person, um, somewhere in the middle of it all. But we'll go through the program together in a more deeper dive or personal level so we can have more intimate conversation and stuff like that. So that's kind of the gist of it.

Polly Mertens 5:40

I love it, you know, and we're this, so I've owned this book. I can't even remember when I bought it. I want it, I feel like I bought it maybe 10 years ago. I'm not quite sure. And it's and I think I picked it up and tried to read it, and I couldn't get into it. I was like, oh, I'll come back to it. But I are you know how so how I heard about it first is in you know, city I live in, San Luis Obispo, there was a local hospice that did a 12-month in-person version of this. And I came to find out, we were just speaking about our friend Jen, one of our close friends, her name is Jude, so Jude used to lead it in town. So I'm like, have her on this, you know. So yeah, yeah, yeah. She used she Jen said, she goes, Oh yeah, I remember doing that with Jude. She led it for years in San Luis Obispo, it was amazing. So, you know, we'll reach out to them and and maybe have them. So one of our, you know, this is the intro. Like, we're just cracking this book open, we're just cracking these concepts open. You've attended your first event or whatever. So throughout the year, we're gonna be, you know, in it. You know, I can't Oh yeah, that won't be the first. I can't wait till like a year from now. We're like, whoa, like what could be different? Like what it what are we gonna anyway? So that's where I learned about it. It was my local hospice, and they stopped. I tried to apply for it, you know, find out about it. And this was right around the time of COVID, and they weren't, you know, weren't doing it, whatever, and they haven't started it up again. So we were similarly, you know, attracted to this material. And when you said, I'm doing this, or hey, do you want to do this? I was like, sure, let me, you know, so I'm sort of writing on your coattails, I've got the books, and we're just gonna learn together through this journey, and and we'll share some of the things that we're already discovering. So it's really fascinating.

Samantha Pruitt 7:17

Totally, totally. And in these groups, or in this giant group, I mean, there's all walks of life. So everybody comes to this work from a very personal place, like why people are in it. Um, I really only got discovery with my small group, and you know, everything we discuss is confidential, but you know, there's nine different humans in the room, and we all shared kind of our reasoning for why we're there or what drew us to the work. So I'll read mine and then maybe you can express what's calling you to the work.

Polly Mertens 7:50

Yeah, and maybe some examples. Because one of the things I think if you're if you tuned

Why We Chose This Work

Polly Mertens 7:55

into this, either you found us and you're like, oh, why they're discussing some of that book or whatever. Um, and like, what are some of the reasons, you know, you're not dying. I mean, we're all dying. Sorry, let me say that differently. We're all dying, but we don't have a prognosis or something short-term. So this is, let's say, optional, or we've chosen to this work, but there's people that come into it because they work in that field or they have a diagnosis, or they have a loved one who is, or whatever. Ours is, I think we'll we'll talk about our whys, but there's all kinds of reasons you don't have to be in your last year, you don't have to have a diagnosis to step into this and just be curious about what you could grow in in this area, I would say.

Speaker 1 8:34

Yeah. So wake the hell up. This should be fun. We're talking about death. Exactly.

Samantha Pruitt 8:41

I'm like, we're gonna talk about death today. Wow. Okay, here's my why to expose my own fears, my curiosity, to see connection with others and with the earth, all living beings. Um, for me, it's a creative act within my lifetime to really deeply know myself. Wow, that's my personal reason. And then additionally, I want to provide comfort and a safe space for people who are dying and grieving, which is what I just experienced recently with my brother passing. And it opened me up to being able to do that for other people. I have done that in different ways, never at the level I did with my brother. But I want to be able to provide that for others.

Polly Mertens 9:34

Wow, wow, wow, wow. That was, I'm still moved over here. I want to hear those again at some point, or I'll go reread the transcript myself because that's where so good. I'm just like, whoo. So my why is A, I'm just curious about development, you know. Like when you said, hey, I'm like, yes, that feels like a yes, you know, and I just go like that. Like, you know, like with this landmark work that I've done, I'm like, that feels like what I need to do this year. Okay, and this feels like what I'm doing this year, right? I would say, um, one of my key, you know, Gandhi, my life is my message. One of my key life messages feels like live your life alive. Like live your fucking life alive right now, not for Sunday, whatever. And so there's something about this material, this process, whatever we're going to discover through this, that feels like a deepening of that core who what I believe in, which is we're here to fully, you know, embody and love our life. And if if you shorten it, you know, people don't know when the horizon is, you know, like not all of us know when our end date is, our expiration date on this thing called life, right?

Samantha Pruitt 10:40

I mean, really, who does? Right, right.

Polly Mertens 10:43

Yeah, it's it's rare that you do, right? Whether it's sudden and shorter than you thought, or you have a long time and you live way longer than like my mom's like, do-do, just kind of hanging out, doesn't know, you know, whatever.

Samantha Pruitt 10:56

My mother-in-law's 97.

Polly Mertens 10:59

You could live way anyway, but it was like, if I could falsely or in in in introduce something, a paradigm that I could live more from the way of being that life is precious and meaningful, what what would that open up? What could I discover in that journey? So that's mostly my why. Um spending time with you, and I think this is a fascinating subject. And last year I became a just a I don't know what rabbit hole I got down with, those near-death experiences, but that was like Dude, you went. I and I love I still enjoy that whole world. And it just opened up so much spiritual aw awareness and awakening to me that I mean, A, I didn't have a fear of death or dying before, you know. I haven't had I think I was a teenager was the last time I I had any sense of like, oh, I hope I don't die, right? I have more of I have a aversion to pain, not an aversion to death or dying, right? Like, no pain, I don't want to be in death, dying. So okay, so be it, you know.

Samantha Pruitt 12:00

So okay, that's really interesting because that's one of the things we discuss.

Polly Mertens 12:04

Okay. Okay. So that's my that's my why. Mm. Mm-mm, mm-mm. Living more fully alive. I think that's yeah, and just really there's there's I I'm curious. I'm curious what there is to discover.

Samantha Pruitt 12:20

I'm gonna read a few pages. Okay, so people can get a taste for the book. Um, for Levine, his work, his wife's work, and the program. Are we ready? Yes. Catching up with your life. First of all, I love that. This is from Levine's voice. As I have accompanied the dying to their threshold over the last 20 years, it has become painfully clear how often death takes people unaware. Even those who had months or even years of illness to prepare themselves often lament how completely unprepared they felt for their death. In their last year, many people feel as if they have a second chance to grow, to do inner healing. Many speak of catching up with their lives just in the nick of time. Having observed the renewal that occurs for so many people because they have been given a terminal diagnosis, renewal, he says, or because their natural wisdom inspires them, inspires them to open more profoundly to life, I offer an experiment

Bearing Witness To Death

Samantha Pruitt 13:40

that amplifies your potential for healing by living the next year as if it were your last. And then he basically goes on to express, you know, some of the things he has witnessed. And I personally can completely relate to bearing witness to many people, friends and family that I have that I love that have died, um many that saw it coming. Uh you know, it it's different for everybody, it's very unique, right? But in bearing witness to and being part of, I felt what an incredible gift these people gave me by allowing me to be in it with them. Honestly, it blows my mind. It blows my mind. And if that doesn't wake you the hell up, nothing will. And if I just can impress right out of the gate, maybe this particular project, assignment you and I are taking on doesn't resonate, people might not be ready, whatever the dynamic is, have awareness about death, and we're gonna talk about it because it's inevitable for all of us. None of us are getting out of this alive. And if you are given the precious gift by anyone to be present in their own process and their own physical dying, please show the hell up for that. Show the hell up. I've had many conversations with people after my brother's passing recently, um, tons of conversations. It's great. It's been like really opened up a lot of people to being able to have the conversations, which I think is invaluable also. Um, and somebody expressed to me because she's terrified about the whole thing, that she literally, anytime somebody is sick or ill, it runs the other way out of her own fear and inability to process her emotions or to bear witness to that. And to me, that's a tragedy. That's a tragedy that I would not wish on the person who is dying or the person who is bearing witness to the death.

Polly Mertens 16:21

For some reason, this reminds me so when I became an animal activist, you know, animal rights activist, you know, um one of the ways that that it's funny. I I think I'm gonna have to for these episodes, I think I'm gonna have to start having tissue around because these topics were so moving. But I remember um when I first learned about the abuse of animals. Um how moved I was by seeing videos like this was in the 80s, I would see videos online of all the torturous things that happened to animals in cages and laboratories. And it just saddened me so much. And then I learned about factory farming and you know, zoos and all and um circuses and you know, all these things that uh are just uh abusive to animals and people won't bear witness. You know, people won't watch a video to educate themselves on something that they're too afraid to face, right? And I think death is one of those things. It's like like you can you can get through it, it's moving, it's uh a little scary or whatever, but you're strong enough, you know. And I've been willing to watch lots of animal abuse movies to educate myself about because I care, and I think the same is true of death and dying is you just you uh face it, you know, like being there, um being with it. Um you're not it's not gonna kill you, you know.

Samantha Pruitt 18:03

It's not it's not gonna kill you, it's gonna open you up to your own uh impermanence, yeah. And the impermanence of every one of us's physical body, irrelevant of what your beliefs are after that. Like every one of us sits in this physical body. We are here delivered in this package for whatever reason. It's kind of comical when you think of it. And we can know I can make everything funny, like the com the comedy of it all is a little ludicrous. But so what happens is that that physical body is going to die from something, from something it's gonna wear. And so pretending that's not gonna happen is not gonna serve anybody. And if you can be really tender and open and be able to maybe you can't even communicate because it's you don't have the right words or you don't know what to say, or whatever the thing is for you, I would task you with trying anyway, yeah, but you can also sit there in silence, totally, and just being in the room in the silence, uh, you know, whatever, allowing that person to feel your unconditional love just by your existence with them and however they might want to communicate or not is the most remarkable gift. Yeah, and everybody deserves that. For sure. So let's talk about the stats of death. You ready? Because I just said everybody's gotta get it. Let's discuss this topic.

Stats, Fears, And Myths

Samantha Pruitt 19:40

Just kind of blew my mind. 175,000 people die every day.

Polly Mertens 19:48

Wow.

Samantha Pruitt 19:49

Okay, that's two people every two seconds.

Polly Mertens 19:54

That's like a big city. That's like you know, my little city over here. That's a couple of my cities, yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 20:00

Yeah, so globally, exactly. Every day.

Polly Mertens 20:05

Wow, yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 20:06

Um, 63 million people annually. Wow, is that right? Dude, it blows my mind. Uh mostly from diseases, of course. Uh cardiovascular disease being number one, uh, cancer disease being number two, respiratory and infectious diseases, number three, so flu, pneumonia, malaria, infectious diseases, and then accidents and suicides, number four. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Okay, okay. And I think, again, good to be look at this honestly. Yeah, right? That's just what's so I could literally walk out the door. I'm a perfectly healthy, fit person, but something could transpire, or I could live till I'm 101. I don't know. We don't know. Yeah. And the reason to do a program like this is to make peace with your life now, or hat as he calls it, catch up with your life now. Why in the hell would you want to wait until you're on your deathbed to be like, damn, I should, I should really sort some shit out. I should call some people, I should really for that.

Polly Mertens 21:12

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, and one of the logistics y things, this we're not gonna belabor this, we can maybe talk about, but like finding out that your brother did not have his properties all like or his property and his affairs in order, let's say, and he had been ill for a year, you know, or more, and hadn't gotten to that.

Samantha Pruitt 21:31

It's like yeah, I don't know if that'll be part of this process with this work. I assume it was is, but yeah, you you go through things with other people and you're like, oh damn, I better look at that. And then I I you and I talked about it, and I immediately, you know, text five people. I was like, Hey, when's the last time you updated your trust and your this and that? And most people I talked to had not oblivious. We had done ours, yeah, 20 years ago, or whatever the hell it was. You know what I mean? You don't all of a sudden every year go, Yeah, I should redo that. That's just not like on your radio.

Polly Mertens 22:00

Yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 22:01

You know? Um, anyway, we're off topic. But so there's a fear of death. And there's a fear of death because historically and through religious beliefs, you know, there are crafted stories about death and dying. And we we are not here to judge whatever anyone's belief systems are. More power to you to have your belief system and and go with that if it works for you, right? But if it doesn't, and it instills fear, like a concept of hell and different things that are scary to you, then the this kind of work is even more important than anything else because you need to make a reckoning with that belief system now. Yeah.

Speaker 4 22:44

Yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 22:44

They're not really things that were on my radar, but in this reading and sort of listening, I was like, wow, that would be difficult for somebody on their deathbed to be thinking and having that ingrained story or idea or concept about what happens next as part of their belief system. Yes, they would really want to be doing this work double time.

unknown 23:06

Yeah. Yeah.

Polly Mertens 23:07

You know? Yeah, totally, totally. I was just thinking, you know, a lot of, I mean, unless you examine your beliefs around death, which not a lot of people sit around and do, you may be surprised what got programmed into you, whether it's through your religion or your family or your culture or whatever. And so your experience or your relationship to death and other people dying is going to be through that lens of whatever's programmed inside of you. And whether you face it because someone's dying, and then you go, Oh, whatever, um, you may not realize what's there, and you may not like what's there if you haven't, you know. So I don't I don't have any of that over here.

Samantha Pruitt 23:43

I've you know well, but lots of people do, and I would even say from my own experience of experiencing uh death relatively young. So first started, my first real like death experience was um I was young, probably seven or eight or something around that age, and my grandfather died. And when he died, he was in England, my family's from England, and I remember when my mom got the phone call and her reaction to the phone call. I mean, hysterical the the emotional pain that I witnessed at that young age watching her experience that and the death of her father is still ingrained into my brain this at this day, at this moment. I can literally hear it. And then over the course of time, you know, losing even friends in high school, and then losing, you know, other family members throughout time, and then losing friends, and then so and all of those experiences being different, you know. Sometimes it was a traditional Catholic casket, open casket in a going to the cemetery, and sometimes it was a celebration. Just

Beliefs, Culture, And Conditioning

Samantha Pruitt 24:50

I've been to a lot of different experiences around death. Yeah. Um, again, these are all gifts because I got to see different things. But some people have seen nothing and don't know. Or another thing I want to just express for myself is when my dad passed away, and that was a sudden you know, shocking uh he had a heart attack. I was in such shock, and all of us I'm sure were, that we didn't really have our shit together. And I don't feel like we really did justice by celebrating his life, like the series of events that happened a couple weeks after that basically were just sort of us surviving our grief. Right. And I mean, I felt like I was in a trance.

Speaker 3 25:38

Yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 25:38

Even to this day. Like I'm I remember being basically speaking at his funeral, but I swear I was totally in trance. I was having an out-of-body experience. Yeah, yeah. So having things like that happen and then having the reverse where there's a long tale before a death, and really being able to and having that variety, um, it's so important for me personally, for my own dying and death, as well as anybody that I love, to be able to make sure that the space during that, whether it's minutes, weeks, years, is precious and is incredibly personal and reflective of the individual that we have lost, or I call it the great tree that fall that fell. When great trees fall. You know, it's like that needs consideration. And that's another reason I just want to point to why these processes are important because everybody deserves that consideration.

Polly Mertens 26:41

I don't know why this thought was happening when you were talking. I was thinking, because as you described the number of people that you've lost over time, and I thought about um witnessing death or the loss of someone, whether you hear about it or you're there with it, um, and I've lost way more animals than I've lost people, just say, you know, buried way more animals than I've buried people, um, is I was like, uh, I wonder if it's a little bit like the more you experience the exposure therapy. You know, how they say, like, um, oh, if you have cold exposure therapy, you get more accustomed to it. Like it, you know, you can sort of do it. Like if you have exposure to death as a younger person and you have it through life, it's not as triggering or shocking. I mean, yes, your dad, I mean, um, that's like a leg of your table, like just, you know, what it's like, whoa, we gotta restabilize here. But if it's like an uncle or someone further afield, if you will, the grandfather, like it's traumatic, but in a different way. But I'm wondering if there's a exposure to this. And the more you are, you know, like I think about the people who do hospice, they couldn't do that work if they weren't, you know, growing through it, understanding it, experience, and like something in the wiring of it, you know, their paradigm that through which they see it. Um, it's sort of like a surgeon. Like if you went in, like cut someone open, you'd be freaked out. Like, what the hell? You know, but if you're trained in surgery and you do it every day, you just walk in, cut a person open, put them back together. Like, all right, next, right?

Samantha Pruitt 28:15

Um I don't think it's exactly that way with death because every relationship and experience is so different and unique. But I will speak to uh like I have raised children, and my son in particular, when he was young, his grandfather died. This is my dad, right? And literally, I mean, that relationship was he was the one and only grandchild born in our entire family line. Okay. And my dad, I mean, that was his human, and for my son, that was his human, right? So I was like, oh shit, I'm traumatized by the whole thing that's happening. But I was like, I absolutely have to involve him in the whole process. He needs to be part of it all.

Speaker 3 29:01

Yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 29:02

Whereas a lot of parents think I should hide this from my child, I should protect them, all these things. That was not my belief system, and I believe that that was a very powerful moment for him. And then he, of course, has lost his grandmother and his grand other grandfather and like other people. Yeah. Um, and so my son, who's an adult man now, 30, has a pretty rich understanding about life and death and can handle yes, these are difficult, challenging times, but he can show up and be there and be present in those moments. And I do believe there is a learning and a growth that happens with the exposure for sure.

Polly Mertens 29:39

And I wonder if the difference between how you were there to sort of facilitate or foster him through that journey with your dad's death, if your mom wasn't quite as capable with um either her dad's death or your dad's death, you know, like um, I mean, it's just different with, you know, it's not like Forrester lost you or his dad. He lost grandfather, but he was, you know, very important in his life.

Samantha Pruitt 30:05

So yeah. Well, I think this work speaks to that. So to me, this work that we're gonna be doing over the next 12 months speaks to having a greater understanding for not just the process and me developing my own unique beliefs irrelevant of anyone else's, right? Any religious traditions, family traditions, whatever. Me developing how I feel about death and dying.

Dying Body vs. Death As Liberation

Samantha Pruitt 30:30

And then, you know, building my toolbox for that. You know, so I think all of us have the opportunity, of course, to build this toolbox. And it each of us, it's gonna be so different. Yeah, you know, but by me doing this for myself, I feel like I'm also going to be giving a gift to my friends and family when it is me.

Polly Mertens 30:53

Yeah, yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 30:55

Because I will be showing up to my own physical body, dying and death in a way that is true for me. And I'm really hoping that gives them an incredible amount of freedom and you know, expression to have their own experience and be with me there. You know? Love it, love it. Yeah. And I have written very specific things. Oh, you've already done it. Oh, okay, okay.

Polly Mertens 31:20

Oh, heck yeah! Is that part of the homework? Wait, I need to be catching up. Or is it no?

Samantha Pruitt 31:24

It's not part of the homework. I did something like that actually quite a long time ago. And then when I was experiencing my brother dying, I had quite a bit of time on my side there, sitting with him in the hospital um bed, and I was giving it thought. And so I continued to sort of process that for myself. It was very powerful. Nice. Um, so just to be clear, because I mentioned this, that how it's taught here, and I love this, and we talked about it briefly, is that dying is the body. Dying is the physical body, and there is a process, okay? There is literally a process that happens. I have witnessed it, and I know it to be scientifically true. A series of events that happen with the physical body. I'm not sure.

Polly Mertens 32:10

We're not talking like by accident, like a like inserting uh, you know, you know, right. We're not talking about somebody that like a more natural death. Yeah, let's call it.

Samantha Pruitt 32:20

So people can despair dispel a lot of their fear by understanding this natural process. And you spoke about pain, and that is part of many people's um fear concept around the dying of the physical body. Will I be in pain? Will it be pain I can handle? Will the pain be too great? Like lots of things around pain. And you can see all of us as a sort of a society have decided that we don't like pain, you know, we every little thing we take something for pain and blah, blah, blah. So we have an aversion to pain. So it makes sense that that would be one of the things that people would um have fear around. But if you're trying to grapple with the reality of the fact your physical body will go through a dying process and understand it, then you can understand that through part of that, there is a pain management that happens. It is very rare that anybody is going to experience tremendous pain because there's a pain management protocol, unless you choose to not opt into it, of course. So I think for people just to know like what happens in their physical body, what are the series of events? And I will just be candid. When I knew my brother was in his final week and he was not going to be leaving the hospital because his liver was failing, I flat out asked the doctors specifically, and if they didn't tell me, by the way, I would have gone and researched the damn thing, what is going to happen because it's his liver failing, like what are the things that are specifically going to happen in his physical body? And then, of course, I did go and do a little more reading so I could have awareness and be prepared for what I would witness and what he would experience. And that gave me great comfort. Yeah. Yeah. You know? So, like the more knowledge is power, knowledge is liberation. It really is. And I just want to encourage people to have some curiosity around that and then explore that and understand what happens, and then that a great amount of suffering is highly unlikely. Um, depending on your circumstances, I cannot guarantee it, but nonetheless.

Polly Mertens 34:33

Okay. I like it.

Samantha Pruitt 34:34

Yeah. Um, one thing I think is interesting about death is there is a spiritual experience that some people have in you and your near-death experience obsession. This is more of a thing that maybe a lot of people haven't even heard of before. Do you want to just speak really quickly to what the heck that is?

Polly Mertens 34:56

Well, I you mean like near-death experiences and what what what I and what people say they experience.

Samantha Pruitt 35:01

I mean the common threads.

Polly Mertens 35:03

Yeah, maybe I'll try and summarize I hadn't thought of like, oh, the whatever. But um two things I want to say is uh I've been so in 2025 I was quite obsessed with near death experience stories and just the just from the spiritual aspect, you know, not a like a uh curious about death aspect, but I was like, wow, like what can they like somebody who quote goes to the other side, you know, we we have this big unknown, it seems like like there's this black box of death. What happens? And there's lots of theories and going to heaven, going to hell, whatever you want to call it. And so just hearing these people's stories who didn't die and that they left and didn't come back, but these ones like went somewhere and various journeys for various durations. Some people were in a coma for a month, some people were, you know, their heart stopped for seven minutes on a surgery table, all sorts of stories, right? Um, but some of the common threads, you may have heard this before, they do a oftentimes you hear a life review, which is their life, and there's various experiences of that, but often it's experiencing the whole life, not just like looking at it on movie screen, like they feel everything. And they often talk about actually they feel uh everyone that was involved in it, like if they had an argument with somebody, they not only felt their life, but

Near‑Death Experiences Summarized

Polly Mertens 36:20

they felt the impact of that person that they were with. Like from both, it's fascinating, like they're the oneness of it. Anyway, um, and then and then the dynamicism beyond that is so vast. The journeys, everything from being in gardens to black abysses that feel like pure love to white lights to um seeing some sort of beings. Often the beings are quite tall, you know, they a lot of them report like they're like seven feet tall or ten feet tall, and um uh relatives coming to them, you know, lots of variety, like it's all over the place. But some of the most uh common things are pure love. As soon as you're out of the body, it's pure love. Like boom, like it's like falling into just unrecognizable. They they none of them have words to describe what that pure love feeling is. It's undescribable. And if there's anything that they're seeing, it's not like black or white or whatever, if there's anything they're seeing, it's colors you can't even they've we've never we don't even have the spectrum for them, right? Like that kind of a thing. And I think about, well, I'm sure like in LSD trips or something like that, maybe maybe they get closer. I don't know, but most people say it's unrecognizable. Colors, the time space thing is all made up, you know, there is no time space. They go over there, they're like, I think I was there for a thousand years and then I came back, you know, like it's totally different. Um, what else? Um I one of my one of my favorite things is the the the popping out of the body. Like oftentimes because of the near death, like they're probably like traumatic-y things, you know, like car accident, overdose, accident, heart attack, surgery, malfunction with anesthesia, whatever, things like that, where they pop out and then they're in the they're in the surgery room, they're in the ER, they're somewhere, right? But they're there, you know, and then they have that over over the body. So, and then they often travel, you know, usually they're like going through the hospital in the various whatever. Um, but the and then the going back into the body is the other one, right? And I don't know the the number, but half say they were told they like they were like, Oh, I don't want to go back. Like, you know, there's someone they're talking to, whatever they're negotiating, like going back and stuff, and they're like, nope, I'm here. I'm I'm loving this, like I've never felt love like this before. Don't send me back. And they're like, nope, you have to go back. And they're like, nope, don't want to go back, and whatever. So they they there's negotiations. There's negotiations.

unknown 38:48

Yeah.

Polly Mertens 38:48

And then some are asked, Do you want to go back? I'm like, how do they get options and they don't? I don't know, whatever. But there's the going back process. And often some of them, it's like like split second, boom, and then I was back in my body. There's no realizing that I was going back or whatever. But then there's a group of them that they let's say they see their body and they're like, How am I? They they're so expanded. Like they, like, if I had to describe whatever what it maybe feels like, is like they're as big as the sun, and they're like, How am I gonna get into that body? Like they're like, there's no physical way that this big me is gonna get into that body. So there's that, and then they just go, and then I'm I'm in, you know. Um, and oftentimes they're like in pain because they something had occurred or something like that. So they went from this bliss state and they're like, oh, and then I know I'm back in my body, and they're like, Oh, and then it's heavy and it's form, and you know, they describe that. So I could go on, but those are some of the common things.

Samantha Pruitt 39:45

What a trip. Yeah, I mean, and there's not a small amount of people that have experienced this. Okay. And then I told you I got obsessed with a podcast. Oh gosh, I'm just trying to blink on it. But telepathy tapes, that one? Yeah, telepathy tapes, where the second season is near-death experiences. The first season was some other subject matter. So anyone who wants to like hear it from these people from their own word, and then of course you can just Google it and see all kinds of stuff, but it's totally fascinating. One other thing I want to mention, just because before it slips my mind, is there is also people who do decide to end their own lives. So it's uh assisted suicide, basically, and it is legal in some states. I'm surprised it's not legal in California, honestly. I think it might be. I know somebody that did it, so I think it might be. Well, I do too, but it's not legal currently in California. But that's a whole other topic. But there's a great film, a documentary about this, and I'm sure there's multiples, but anyway, you just look on Netflix and you can just type that in. And it's near-death also not about so not near-death experiences, which I'm sure those do exist, but there's also great films and documentaries and stories. This is what I'm just trying to introduce people to, where they can start to explore this in a different way and maybe get more comfortable with these concepts through video or through audio or through books or things of that nature, right? Because there's a lot of different ways that this is all going to be happening for people. So I do think people having awareness around that and understanding the perspective of the person dying. So, what I love about the stories you said is these are people's real life experiences, near-death experiences, that they're sharing. Okay. And same with this um documentary on assisted suicide is like you're experiencing in real time that person's story that they're willing to share.

Speaker 3 41:43

Wow.

Samantha Pruitt 41:44

It's so beautiful, it's so remarkable. I mean, it's so empowering, incredible. And also to be on that journey and bear witness with your friends and family. So by doing those things, this is the exposure you're talking about that can allow you to have a more open idea or possibly dialogue with people. So I just want to kind of offer that up too. All right, let's explore this concept, which is more about near death. We're gonna have another dear near death. I just love talking about that. I was like, oh, that was really fun. Yeah. Right. So the catching up with your life is this um taking on the challenge, the project, if you will, to do this life examination, to do this inventory or whatever you want to call it, right? Of your life. And so that is part of the curriculum that we will be doing, obviously. But let's just talk about what that is and how might people

Life Review And Timeline Practice

Samantha Pruitt 42:40

might do that, right? So it starts with just starting to become aware. Okay, now this could be a little shocking for people. Okay. I'm I I'm just gonna speak for myself. So I am gonna be 57. So I got a few years under the belt. I was gonna say the inventory. I really can't remember a lot of shit. And then all of a sudden, when I start to like try and, you know, um, with a calendar with a timeline, sort of unpack or hey, where the hell did I live and what all whatever? I can't remember a lot of things. I'm dude, as you said that I'm like, Do you have the same problem?

Polly Mertens 43:20

Wow, like, yeah, I know I'm gonna. Oh, I know. Yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 43:23

Now I have other people who remember freaking everything, and I'm like, what the hell? Are you like a savant or something? They're like, remember when that happened? Remember when you said that? I'm like, I got nothing. Wow, I don't was I even there. Are they just making this shit up? I don't know. Totally. So it's gonna be different for everybody. Don't there's no judgment around like, well, can you remember and what you can't remember? I think it's really about like going back to um your birth, right? And being like just starting to weave the fabric a little bit of, you know, this is what my family unit looked like, this is where we live. So you just kind of just the basics, you don't have to get too crazy. Are you like writing this? What are we doing? You should be journaling it.

unknown 44:00

Okay. Okay.

Samantha Pruitt 44:01

Um, I basically just started like a timeline. So I'm like, birth, line number one.

Speaker 1 44:08

I was born a cute little baby. Amazing day. Amazing day. I came into the world.

Polly Mertens 44:14

There was an earthquake the day I was born. Boom, Samantha's here on the scene, y'all. Okay.

Samantha Pruitt 44:21

So what was interesting is to do that, and again, without judgment or a lot of emotional uh attachment to it. And as I slowly started doing it, then things started kind of like coming back to the surface. I was starting then to have like these flashback things, like of me at a certain age in a certain place. Yes. And then uh these people were there. And you know, so like why are these things in my mind? Why are these memories that I have held on to? Like I have assigned some kind of meaning to them. They maybe have meaning, and maybe I need to explore that. So I would just write them down without like overdoing the dramatic part of it of like, I need to know what. Yeah, just write that shit down. Yeah. Okay. Just write the shit down. And I haven't gotten all the way to age 57, by the way. I mean, I'm barely started here.

Polly Mertens 45:08

Yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 45:08

So this is quite a process, and I do think it's gonna be a slow drip.

Polly Mertens 45:12

Is is it um is that part of the homework now, or are we doing this like throughout the year?

Samantha Pruitt 45:17

Or so this will be part of the homework. I haven't technically been assigned this homework except in the book, and I have been reading the book. This is the second part of the process. The first is get on board with doing this project. Yeah, okay, because you can be part of this group that I'm in, this course. Um, and you can kind of be showing up, or you can literally take your shoes off and walk through the door and be all in, right? So you're gonna get different people in the room having different experiences. And just from what I've already witnessed, I see some people do have quite a bit of fear, and so that might be a slower process for them to be willing to really be engaged in the work and be willing to do like an inventory and stuff like that. So it's gonna be there's no judgment here. I'm just sort of gonna talk through a couple of the first steps so people can be like, that sounds amazing or that sounds horrible.

Polly Mertens 46:18

Totally, totally something I want to just insert now or could insert it later, but I just feel like saying it now. So two things. Um one is having last year listened to so many near-death experiences, not only do I not have an aversion to it, I can't I can't wait. Not like I'm like wanting to die sooner, but like, oh, sure. Like, oh my god, unconditional love, feeling peace, all this stuff. I'm like, bring it on, you know. The second thing, so you know, any fear of that, it's like, wow, go listen to these people talking about it. It's so blissful. It's un you know, and one thing I can say, if anybody has any of that fear of like having an accident, is every person I listened to who had an accident that would have caused severe pain falling from a cliff, hitting a side of a guardrail or whatever, like that, they pop out of their body before the moment of impact. So just like that's one of my things. I was like, man, if I'm some of these hikes, I'm like, oh my god, if I died and I felt the pat whatever, you pop out before the impact, you know, and then you know, you might go back in, whatever. But anyway, it's um so that's one. And then the other thing is um two things. So I've been listening to a lot of Ron um, so Stephen Levine was hanging out with Rom Doss when he was, you know, in these days of writing this book and doing this dual of work you're talking about. And uh one of the things that Rom would say is um that was given to him by a a teacher was um dying is like taking off a tight shoe. Or something like something along that line.

Samantha Pruitt 47:54

Exactly, something that you don't fit in anyway.

Polly Mertens 47:56

Yeah, it was like it's gonna feel like taking off a tight shoe. It's like, ah, it's gonna feel good. So yeah. I just wanted to say that because you know, as people think about like, ah, death, dying, it's like, wow, I've only like A from my near to the death experiences, like the amount of unconditional love and beautiful experiences is worth it. And then like taking off a tight shoe, oh that sounds fucking good too, you know. So that's why I'm don't yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 48:21

There's the dying of the physical body, and then there's the death. And in my uh personal opinion, the death is the liberation, yeah, yeah. You're not in your body anymore, you have left the rented building. Okay, you don't you're just renting this thing anyway. Don't get too attached.

Polly Mertens 48:43

Totally, totally, and and the sooner you can get unattached from it in it, the better as well.

Samantha Pruitt 48:49

Yeah, yeah. I want to read this because I just thought this was so good. Uh Stephen Levine said this it's time to get a passport, even though you have no idea where or when your adventurous trip will begin. Okay, first of all, wouldn't we do that? Like, wouldn't we like prepare ourselves for the trip? Right? So, this is really all we're asking is like that trip's going down. There's going to be an adventure. Let's work to create a relationship to that trip that is uh positive.

Unfinished Business And Repair

Samantha Pruitt 49:31

You know, and however you choose to make that happen is up to you. But this is what we're doing is we're getting a passport.

Polly Mertens 49:40

Love it. We're going on a trip. Well, you know, it reminds me, I was just, I just had a friend who had hip surgery yesterday and thinking about you going into surgery. And I was telling her she was preparing for her, she had had hips and the other hip surgery about six months ago. So this was the second one. So it's not like, oh my god, hip surgery. She wasn't like afraid of it or anything. But I was telling her how amazing your story of going into the OR and talking to the doctor, you know, the your whole perspective of it was like, y'all are my team and you're my people, and da-da-da. Like you were just so light and love and like feel good and you know, positive energy, just that whole experience. I would say the story about this journey or your death or whatever you say about it, like that, you bring that to it, you know. If it's gonna be the worst thing of your life, okay, then guess what? It's probably gonna you're just gonna have some suffering, you know.

Samantha Pruitt 50:32

But if you bring, like, wow, I'm really gonna be graceful for this, or graceful through this, or I'm gonna be connected with people, or whatever, you know, that will be your you want to hear something, even bigger people may not like this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. How you live is how you die. So if there is a lot of angst and fear and regret and anger and sadness and resistance and all the things the suffering, we'll just call it all one big bucket of suffering, there will be suffering because what you're expressing, which is the ultimate truth, is how your mind perceives it, so it will be. So the liberation is to bring your mind into a place where it is not suffering, right? And you have that power. You do. I had complete you know, power over the situation of I'm going to be in surgery, I'm going to be unconscious, I'm going to be cut open, I'm going to be all these things. And I could have gone in, which many people do, you know, with angst and fear and all the things. And like you said, I was like, hell no, I gotta drop the goods in here. Like, I gotta come with as much love for myself and for the people who are caring for me as possible. I'm gonna create the environment for success, for healing, for everything to go right today.

Polly Mertens 52:14

I say how this is gonna go.

unknown 52:16

Yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 52:16

Yeah.

Polly Mertens 52:17

Love it. Totally, totally.

Samantha Pruitt 52:19

Okay, so how do you take a personal inventory of your life? Well, I kind of alluded to some of the things.

Polly Mertens 52:26

I'm gonna get a new journal for this. Like just my death story or my, I guess this is my life year, life review, is that we call it life review. I'm gonna get a life review journal.

Samantha Pruitt 52:33

This will be fun, yeah. Oh, every time you can get a new journal, it's fun. Oh, hell yeah, yeah. So you gotta make time to clear the path, right? So, like one of the things you and I kind of went back and forth on, you're like, hey, what are you doing getting started? I'm like, I don't, I don't, my path isn't clear yet, is is really what I meant. Like, I haven't started the work yet because you need to be in the right place and you need to have space and time for this to be something you can be available to. Okay, so if you have three screaming kids or whatever all your crazy life might be, um, this is gonna be very difficult to do, right? So, unless you can carve out time. And I even said to you, I've been going to the library, I finished my certification with Dr. Sims, blah, blah, blah. And I think I'm gonna continue to go to the library and do this weekly work um as part of my writing assignment or whatever you want to call it, because the focus, the quiet, the intentionality to that moment in the week for me to give myself that space. So I would make that suggestion for people as well. What do you think?

Polly Mertens 53:38

So, are you finding that it the homework? Well, you haven't uh gotten access exactly to the homework yet. So, like I'm just what I've done so far is I've been reading the chapters, right? I haven't done work. I've been, I would say I have two things that you will add at some point. I want to add like what I've already discovered, you know. I want to contribute that, but um, I haven't like started journaling or anything. I'm just sort of like taking in the book and the material. So I was like, oh, there's a lot of homework, you know, there's like a meditation and then there's this, and then I'm like, okay, I gotta. So are you finding that you're doing it like homework, like uh like you're in a classroom? Yeah, yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 54:14

Okay. No, but you know me. You know me. I don't roll like that. They can be like, hey, you meditate for 40 minutes. I'm not gonna do that. This is my life journey, yeah, my journey, my experience, my process. Y'all, I am not gonna play by the rules. That is just not how I even everybody knows that. And it's cool if that's what people need and want is that formal structure. Some people did express in one of our conversations that they really are like liking the structure to this. That's not at all what I'm attracted to. Um, but like sometimes I'm listening to the book sometimes while I'm driving down the freeway in Los Angeles the other day, freaking 75 miles an hour. Okay. I'm not I'm not gonna meditate or take notes because I'm drunk now. But then other times it's gonna be uh five o'clock in the morning while I'm drinking my coffee in you know, the sun's coming up, or whatever the hell. It's gonna be all over the place. But back to

Noting: Waking Up In Daily Life

Samantha Pruitt 55:20

sort of how do you take this personal inventory, right? We got to clear the path, and then you need to be in a place that's really non-judgmental where you can take this inventory, and I think this is gonna be a tough one for people to unpack these memories, these ideas, these thoughts that you're having about your life trajectory up to this point, and not attach too much emotional, you know, weight to it.

Polly Mertens 55:45

Well, I was just gonna say, so are you just sort of documenting the who, what, where of your life, or are you Well, that's the first step.

Samantha Pruitt 55:53

Okay, okay, and then after you've done that, you are starting to look at things that are bubbling up for you that are causing emotional discomfort. Okay, that could be regrets, that could be things that you feel shame about, it could be things that you have still, anger towards a person, you you know are traumatized from experience, all of that stuff is real. I'm not saying that those things aren't real, but like out of the gate, don't put so much heavy weight that you never get through the damn process. Gotcha, gotcha, get it down on paper to the best of your abilities.

Polly Mertens 56:28

Okay, this is the who, what, where, and then all that other stuff can be added later or whatever, but just start to build the timeline to start.

unknown 56:35

Okay.

Samantha Pruitt 56:36

Yeah, because what does come happen next, oh, wow, is that you are tackling these harder things, and in particular, the relationship you hold with yourself emotionally around these things and with others. So it could be an unresolved thing that happened to you, unresolved in your emotional mind. Um, when I was young, this thing happened. I mean, I have no hello. Do we have stuff? I mean, Lord have mercy. Some unpacking. Yeah, you got some material to work with. The interesting thing about it is I was like, I don't really can't think of that much stuff. But then, like, once I started to like superficially play in the sandbox, I was like, what the hell was that?

unknown 57:23

What the what the huh?

Samantha Pruitt 57:24

Right. So I still have some stuff, we all do, we're human, um, throughout my history where I have some emotional um sadness, grief, that these are unprocessed, or maybe anger or maybe regret or whatever. So the next level will be in resolving those things. It could be that I need to have a conversation with somebody, it could be that I need to write a letter to somebody, it could be that I need to write a letter to myself. It could be I need to apologize to somebody, it could be that somebody maybe I wish would apologize to me, you know, whatever the dynamics are. Yeah, there's gonna be shit, people. Life is messy, life is messy, and what you're going towards is not resolution because you can't have expectations about, well, I'm gonna go have that convo with my mom and she said that. Can you believe he did what that? You know, like, no, you're not picking a fight. Me, there might be some I'm not saying no convo, but you're not going to pick a fight, right? You're going for simple expression. This is a healing journey.

Polly Mertens 58:34

Yeah, you're not there to write, wrong, you point fingers or whatever, blame, complain, that whole thing.

Speaker 1 58:39

It's yeah, healing, you know.

Polly Mertens 58:41

Like, oftentimes, if I've done this ever, it's um discovery, you know. It's just like I'm just discovering like a what was their perspective and what was there, you know, like looking at it from two different perspectives, almost like third-person observer moments. Yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 58:57

This is so good. I love this term. I think I sent it to you because I thought this is freaking classic. You are having a going out of unfinished business sale. Say that again. You are you are having a going out of unfinished business sale. I mean I love that. And I'm gonna literally probably tattoo that on my arm or something because there's this lightness to that, there's this levity and joy and humor and insanity of that. Like, I'm gonna have a garage sale with my unfinished business.

Polly Mertens 59:37

Put up a science like clearing the house, this stuff's gotta go, you know, whoo-hoo, gotta make room for, you know. Yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 59:43

Right. So this process isn't gonna be all dread and doom and you know, reliving old traumas. There's also like can you can have some fun, you can laugh about it, it can be ludicrous. Yeah, get rid of whatever.

Polly Mertens 59:56

Yeah, get rid of that old furniture you don't need, you know.

Samantha Pruitt 59:59

Get rid of that old furniture. I like it. Unfinished business. I dig it. You know, and if you think about who do you have unfinished business with? And you made that list of people. Hopefully it's not too long, by the way. At the top of the list for myself, I would put I would put me. You know, and it's the revelation for myself around, hey, there's a lot of other cool shit you want to get up to. Yo, so if you got a year and I'm talking to myself in the mirror, what are you doing? What in the hell are you doing over there? So this is just me calling me, you know, on my unfinished business. And of course, it can be old relationships and you know, parental sibling, whatever the thing is, you know. Um, and then the second, so any questions about that?

Polly Mertens 1:01:01

No, I I just was thinking of that might be a good place to add the two things that I've already discovered, but I think they'll come after you keep going on your list.

Samantha Pruitt 1:01:08

They're gonna come at the end, uh, because I just have one more thing. So because I don't want to go too far in the process, but another part of the process after you've started doing this is again, because you've woken up now, you have awareness. Ideally, you're operating and walking around with a different pair of glasses, right?

Polly Mertens 1:01:28

Which is, oh, now all of a sudden I'm kind of awake to and and you've cleared the house, you got rid of the whole furniture that was, you know, going out of the business sale is cleared, like we got room here. Yeah, yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 1:01:39

Well, I call it wake the fuck up, but they call it noting, which is a Buddhist term for a practice. Oh, yeah. And it's like, oh, that really makes me feel this way. I'm thinking this way, noted. So without emotional attachment, you're noting. I notice that when Polly says this or goes like that, I feel a certain way, noted. I don't get attached to it and be like, what in the hell? You just said that would, you know, I'm just hey, note it.

Polly Mertens 1:02:08

What's there for me? Yeah, yeah,

Presence, Energy, And Boundaries

Polly Mertens 1:02:10

yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 1:02:10

Without an attachment to the emotion or the thing that's happening. I'm really practicing the hell out of this right now in the business world, and I'm not going to name names or projects or whatever, but I have a very complex project right now with a lot of people. And these people are not getting along. So for me to bear witness and hold space and try and be Switzerland, as you call me, um, in this environment, I'm doing a lot of noting. Okay, and not just noting on the shenanigans of the humans, but like noting on what comes up for me.

Polly Mertens 1:02:46

Yeah, exactly.

Samantha Pruitt 1:02:47

Exactly. And I'm like, wow, Susie or Fred or whatever, I can't believe how controlling they're being or how bullying or whatever the thing. And then I'm like, huh, why is that coming up for me? Like, just note it. Yeah, yeah. Rather than me responding and being like, oh, I've got I'm I'm coming, you know, no. So that's called noting. Okay. Recognize what's happening when it's actually happening. Recognize what's happening when it's actually happening rather than being asleep. Right? So I'm going through the day, all these things are happening, but I'm actually not there at all. I'm in my head thinking about what my husband said to me this morning when he walked out the door, or what my mother said when she left me a voicemail, or fill in the blank of a thousand things that I could be obsessing about and ruminating over. And meanwhile, you know, here's my loved one in front of me, my grandson. I was just with my grandson, you know, asking cool questions and doing cool things, and like I need to be present in my experience with him, but I'm too busy thinking about something else.

Speaker 3 1:03:55

Okay.

Samantha Pruitt 1:03:56

Um, return to the moment with inquiry and curiosity. Right? You do this exceptionally well. You're always curious. Sometimes I'm not so curious about people. You just wear me down. I've I thought you were interested. I'm not interested anymore.

Polly Mertens 1:04:15

Uh so in my landmark work, one of the questions that just came up last night that I just love this question is that I think ties in with what you're pointing to is um, what's at the source of that? I love that question, right? It's like if something comes up for you or whatever, what's at the source of that, right? Like what's behind the what whatever it be?

Samantha Pruitt 1:04:36

So well, hell, you're going through this practice, you're gonna have to get to the source of life and unpack a few things here, people.

Polly Mertens 1:04:45

Christmas is coming early. There's some packages coming out. Bing!

Samantha Pruitt 1:04:51

Totally, totally oh gosh. I love this. Our lives are a collection of what we touch and what touches us. That's so true. Our lives are a collection of what we touch and what touches us. I one of my favorite quotes, which is similar to that, is that your only true belongings are your actions. Oh when you hear things like that, your only true belongings are your actions, or our lives are a collection of what we touch and what touches us. Doesn't it just make the shit real like that? Who can put sentences together like that?

Polly Mertens 1:05:26

Like that.

Samantha Pruitt 1:05:26

All of a sudden, I am like, whatever, y'all. I'm running off to the ashram. Bye! Like because you very quickly look around at the insanity of it all. The Zoom meetings, all e 50,000 emails. It's like, are you kidding me? Who's selling me this BS anyway? It doesn't really even matter. I know. I know so you get present, you get present, and if something triggers you, you go noted, and you're released. It yeah, yeah, and you can get curious about it later or not. You're gonna be more curious than me. I'm gonna be like, bye.

Polly Mertens 1:06:08

Yeah, because I just don't want to, you know, like hanging out in the swamp is what I was calling it last night. Like last night I was just spent, energy spent, body and mind were just like taxed, and I had a long our meeting went till like 10 o'clock last night, and I was just like, I'm so over it. And I was just kind of slumped down in the back of the room feeling, I was just like, don't call on me, I got nothing, you know. And um and it's just like you know, why was I even telling that anyway? It's just like the the energy for that. But when you're in a good state, like you you have energy for things and you want to be up to things, right? So, like that's not the moment to be like putting a lot of inquiry into myself. It's like I'm just tired, like you know, the body's just tired, like, okay, next, you know, and I woke up this morning, I'd let myself sleep and reset. And it's like, okay, I think I'm I think I'm back, you know? Here we are.

Samantha Pruitt 1:07:01

Yeah. And I would say, you know, when you get those times where you're really in sync with yourself, you are rested, well taken care of, and you really feel connected, or this deep sense of connection to your own knowing, like the awareness is really like firing. Carve out time right away. Cancel some other shit, yo, because that stuff ain't important anyway. Cancel that stuff and go do this kind of work, or any kind of self-inquiry or journaling or reflective work because most of our life we're walking around exhausted, tired, tuned out, or whatever because we're in survival mode. A, we'd like to get you out of that, but all of us get in it sometimes. And you know, for many people, they've been stuck in it for a long time, and they actually don't know how it feels to even feel good. So you're gonna have to make time and space for these kind of practices, you know, it's not something to do take lightly.

Polly Mertens 1:08:04

I think the other thing just as you were talking. So I appreciate the idea of self-reflection and journaling and stuff, and enroll a friend. Like, don't do this alone either, right? Or somehow share this. Like I feel like the speaking and the sharing and the collaboration or the conversations around these things is is helpful, you know, is is going to extend it or help you clarify, right? Like, I don't know about you, but I can have all sorts of things dancing on going on up in my head. And as soon as I one hear myself speak it, A, it gets more crystallized instead of nebulousy. And then sometimes I go, that's not even true, that's stupid. That, oh, that's smart, right? Whatever, right? And then reflections and feedback, you know, um, it just allows it to live more out in communication.

Samantha Pruitt 1:08:49

So

Lenses Shift: Stories From Daily Moments

Samantha Pruitt 1:08:50

I am torn about that because I'm a very introspective person and I do love my alone time. I frankly, I'm in love with myself. I mean, have you seen my bitmoji? She has a t-shirt and it says, I love me. That didn't happen overnight, people. Okay. But the point is, the point is that when I get around a group and I've been doing some group stuff on this, and of course, I talk to a lot of people, um, I have a very different experience with this conversation or work. So I'm not always looking for that feedback because how can I say this nicely? The reality is that we're all coming at it from our own place. Totally. And so depending on who's in the room, who's in the conversation, whatever, you're gonna get their stuff. And sometimes it's better to have boundaries and not be in other people's stuff or even bearing witness to it, because there can be a heaviness there that might stop you from something else that you could be experiencing. So I would say play with that and just see.

Polly Mertens 1:10:03

We'll see how your home group is in 90 days for you.

Samantha Pruitt 1:10:07

We'll see how totally well, you're gonna, I mean, because I don't play by the rules, you should already know. So I basically have already said, so listen up, people.

Polly Mertens 1:10:17

I will not be doing this and I will be doing this.

Samantha Pruitt 1:10:20

Well, okay, it's once a month for an hour makes almost no sense to me because if we're actually doing this work and there's nine people in the room, I'm totally confused how that makes an hour be a thing. So I said, first of all, it needs to be at least 90 minutes. And then second of all, um, some people who are really into like doing maybe the five invitations, um, could have a separate breakout and we could just do that together and whatever, whatever. So I've already posed a couple other ideas because I'm a creative person, Polly. And about half the people were like, oh my God, I can barely do this, and I'm overwhelmed, I don't have time. And I was like, okay, I didn't say anything that this was mandatory, I'm just posing some concepts. And then the others were like, Yeah, I would totally love to do that. So again, it's very personal, it's very individual. Yeah. And if they all said, I want nothing to do with that, I don't really care. Yeah, I'm gonna be doing it. I'm just like you, you know, we just create space, and if people show up, great, and if they don't, they don't. Um, okay, so what is it that you've already what's already shifted for you since you began conceptually embracing the idea that you have a year left to live, or even reading the book. So, like what's already shifted for you?

Speaker 1 1:11:38

Do you want to go first?

Polly Mertens 1:11:39

Or no, you go. Yeah, so I would say I feel like there's a third thing, but I was telling you two things at least. So the first thing, and I I think I told you I enrolled my mom loosely in this. We'll see how closely she does this with you and I are in it. We're we're game on, we're in it, we're already started the race, right? Um, my mom is like sitting maybe on the side, whatever. She was like, Yeah. So in the first conversation with her, hey mom, we're gonna do this, whatever, we're gonna live as if this is our last year. She's like, Oh wow, it sounds amazing. Yeah, let's do that. And then two minutes later, she wanted to complain about something. And I was like, Hold up, hold up. My last year, your last year, we're not gonna be having these kind of conversations. They we got no time for that. We gotta like make the magic and experience the love and whatever we want to do, but complaining and all the lower vibrations, sure you're gonna have that. But if we can choose, like, like I'm aware that you're about to complain and I'm just telling you about it, I oh, oh, snap out of it, right? Like, oh yeah, I don't want to spend my time doing that. So that's one of the things is things that create resistance in my body that are like lower vibration. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, right. And the other one is keeping my heart open, right? So things, ideas, concepts that want make me separate and close my heart. So I want my heart open and I want no resistance. So I'm just like flowing through life, flowing through communication, staying one with people, all of that. So those are the two things so far. And I guess the third one, if I am present to it, is um, and I've had this since my kitty cat passed away, Pisa a couple years ago, is like super presence with meaningful relationships, especially my kitty cats or whatever, the thing, and even my own body, you know, like oh, body, I'm so appreci, you know, things like that, right? So the being here, uh be here now, be in the present, appreciate the thing. Like, um, I was thinking this morning, do you know how they I don't know why this came to be, but um what was the thing that you know how they say, like, oh in a such and such lifespan, you will spend X amount of time. Um, I was thinking about like making your bed or folding laundry or whatever. So I was like chewing, yeah, stuff like that. So I was like, oh, I'm doing dishes. I'm like, I wonder what the estimate is of how many because I feel like I do a lot of dishes. That's just like one thing. I just like, if I never did a dish again, I'm better like good. I was like, I but my brain just went, you're gonna spend three years of your life doing dishes. I was like, oh, that's shocking. Like, wow, you know, like so. I was like, how can I not pass through something that's three years of my life I'm doing? What could I bring the presence of, you know, because things like like you were, or somebody was telling me, like, you go into trance, like in a shower, driving in your car where you know the route and stuff like that, doing dishes, whatever, like whenever you your mind starts to kind of wander or like be open, I was like, wow, how could I do these dishes in a more medical, mindful, creative and mindful state? So that's something that I'm just noticing, you know, especially for things like if I'm gonna be doing this damn thing for three years, right? Yeah, yeah. What about you?

Samantha Pruitt 1:14:51

Oh, that's good. I feel like very quickly what happened for me is when I showed up to that first class and I was bearing witness to not only the three instructors that I'm in awe with, um, but the 700 other people, you know. I feel like I'm walking around now with my shoes off and a different pair of glasses. Like I'm having a different physical experience.

Polly Mertens 1:15:22

Yes, I am too. Literally, I am too.

Samantha Pruitt 1:15:25

And that is kind of blowing my mind a little bit.

Polly Mertens 1:15:29

It's hard to even describe. I can totally relate little different words I would put to it, but exactly like well, just having the lens on, like this is my last year to live. And I think what's beautiful is there's no harshness or seriousness that we've put the lens on. It's more with wonder and curiosity and awareness and focus or consciousness. That's the general sense of it, right? But yeah, I agree.

Samantha Pruitt 1:15:59

Yeah,

How You Live Is How You Die

Samantha Pruitt 1:16:00

but like this shoes off thing is like I'm really connected to my physical body. I was before also, and of course, I just came through a surgery and a rehab and all these things. So I'm so I'm so in my body, like it's crazy. So it could be a combination of those two things, and in a really, really powerful and respectful way. And again, I probably had 80% of that before or whatever, but this 20% is like holy hell, and it's tripping me out. Like it's wild. And then the new glasses are like how I'm perceiving situations, like, yes, how I'm spending my time, who I'm spending it with, whatever, but just this general awareness of like looking at things and seeing things, whether it's like the palm trees or the trail and the plants, or like today, I had this totally random experience, not really, because I talk to everybody, but I literally was just in a store picking up some freaking place maps. Okay, so like I'm just you know, doing my thing. And I get in line, and there's this little lady with kind of a cart in front of me, like dragging her cart, a little bit of shopping cart, like old school style, whatever, this teeny little lady, and she's looking at every little thing in the aisle. But we're in the checkout line, but you know how they try and sell you stuff as you're checking out, and she's like, You can go ahead. I said, No, I'm good. I'm actually looking at all this stuff too. Wow, what's that? Do I need that candle or whatever the hell, you know? And so she just starts like chatting me up, and she's definitely 70s, maybe 80. And she's just this curious little thing, and she's picking up every little thing and looking at it or whatever, just taking her sweet ass time, and I'm taking my sweet ass time. Why am I in such a hurry? Do I need to go around her and be in front of her? Look, what that just right? Yeah, so I have this curiosity about this little old lady, and you know, I'm a curious with people, I'm curious. Yeah, and so she starts saying whatever she's saying, and I'm just intent, you know, I'm looking her in the eye, I'm having this exchange with her, and she's telling me I'm from Canada, everything's so expensive, everything's really cheap here, blah, blah, blah. So we're having that little chitty chat. And she said, But I live here now, and she lives in the same town as me. And I said, Isn't this the best town ever? And she goes, You know what? I'm gonna die here. That's what she said to me. A perfect stranger tells me she's gonna die here, and that she couldn't be happier about it. So, what is now everybody gonna tell me how they're gonna die because I'm in this class about a year to live? Everybody I meet is gonna be like, Let me tell you how I'm gonna die. Well, I'm gonna do this. And I said to her, I think I am too. But I think But it was just this really tender moment.

Polly Mertens 1:18:44

I was gonna say, I think the other thing is like just the not slowing down for slowing down's sake, you know, there's that, you know, but the aware, like the the moments matter, like like, oh that's what I'm saying. Yes, I'm in a moment, like I was doing the dishes, you know, I was just doing the dishes, and I was like, what can I notice? And or just I was just what am I aware of that normally? I'm just like off somewhere else and this is happening or whatever. But I was like, I'm doing the dishes right now, you know, or you're like, oh, and I I do find myself way more curious, and this is a little bit of the landmark work, but way more curious about the people that I interact with. You know, Ram Doss has this thing, he goes, like he talks about like if you can get a conscious person, you go, Oh, is that you in there?

Speaker 1 1:19:33

What are you doing? How'd you get in there? You know, like, oh, it's me in here, and and you're in there.

Polly Mertens 1:19:37

What's it like in there? You know, like there's this, you know, and some people you come up against, they don't know that they're in there, you know, like they're they, you know, it's like nobody's home, you know, whatever. Um, but that curiosity and that sense of this wonderness, it's I don't know. We're gonna just I think there's more that we'll start to be able to speak to this, but I'm I'm having it too. Yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 1:20:00

Yeah. And that is a really beautiful pair of glasses to be looking through.

Polly Mertens 1:20:06

Well, it's like from the heart. Like I feel like my heart is coming out through my eyes, and like in my eyes are like going into my heart. There's some some other dimension that's opened up than just like you said, like, oh, I gotta go pick up things, I gotta run the errands, you know, and whatever. But something else is doing it with us or an awareness that's that we've opened a layer up or something. Yeah.

Samantha Pruitt 1:20:32

She's about to get real, people. That's so good.

Speaker 1 1:20:36

So good.

Samantha Pruitt 1:20:36

It's so good. Okay, let's wrap this party up. So there's two books if anyone's interested. First of all, um Spirit Rock. If you want to look up the course, Spirit Rock, A Year to Live. Okay, it is currently closed because we're in the course and it does sell out. So you'll need to get registered. I think it registers somewhere October, November, is what I remember at the end of this year. So get on their email list, or else you will not know when registration opens, and the chances of you getting in are slim. Okay, the book is A Year to Live, Stephen Levine and His Beautiful Wife. And then the other book is The Five Invitations. Frank Ostaseki.

Course Details And Ongoing Journey

Samantha Pruitt 1:21:21

That's okay. Yep. So lots of fun stuff is gonna be happening this year. Polly and I will not talk about this every time, but we will brief you regularly on updates and the process, and we'll share our journey.

Polly Mertens 1:21:35

Exactly, exactly, and what's opening up. And you know, I I think there's gonna be little spin-offs to this, you know, like as we do this review, and then we go, you know, and you've got, I from what I recall, and I'm not sure what I heard about the hospice one that was done when this was done in slow, is like every month was like like a a section or a module or something. So I'm wondering if yours is gonna have that flair to it too.

Samantha Pruitt 1:21:58

Like yeah, there is a course um syllabus and modules and all those things. I don't have access to that, and I tried to look at it before this session, but again, I'm not really I'll happily share that with you, but I'm less attached to that uh for whatever reason. It's how I've decided to live my life after 50, to be totally honest. So this has been happening for a while, y'all. Um, I was pretty much a rule breaker before, but I've taken it next level. I'm taking it next level, and not to be like an a-hole about that rule breaking, but just like, I'm pretty sure this is my life. So I might be doing it a little different.

Polly Mertens 1:22:36

For sure, for sure.

Samantha Pruitt 1:22:38

It's all good.

Polly Mertens 1:22:39

What's what's your one thing about this journey, this book, this study? What is something?

Samantha Pruitt 1:22:45

Well, my one thing for this particular podcast on this subject matter is I really I exhausted it out of the gate. I know people were sick of listening to it, but um, they've got to come to terms with their fear around the dying body and the death, the transition, the liberation. They've got to come to terms with that fear, otherwise, they'll never be able to look honestly at the inevitability of their own and the people they love, and they won't live as really deeply and as fully and as beautifully as they could otherwise. So that fear's gotta go. The fear is a limiter, limiting factor.

Polly Mertens 1:23:30

And I would say um my one thing is um join us. Like, like whether you do this now or you're just curious, maybe this is the seed, and in three years you, you know, like you've heard it three years ago with Vinnie or whatever. Like, we hope we've planted something in you that gets you curious about it. I can't wait for our one-year anniversary on this and the shit of stuff we're gonna share. Like, oh, I mean, already, like you've we've been doing it for just a couple weeks, and I'm like, whoa, this is feels so good. You know, it's like, where will this take us? So I hope that something in this either gets you to start it now or we're planting that seed for you when it's time for you to go, you know what, that thing, I that sound and I don't think either one of us has a morbid curiosity. That's not what and I I think any of this is. It's um it's a spiritual curiosity, it's a life curiosity, it's a how to live a life more enriched because you're looking at all dimensions of life, the death and and not those fears. Yeah, so I think there's gonna be some I I hope the takeaway is whether you do it with us now or you take it on at some point. Yeah, I hope you take it on.

Samantha Pruitt 1:24:42

So I think it's a path to freedom. It's that simple for me.

Polly Mertens 1:24:47

I love it. And I want you to share in the show notes your what your why is because those were so good at the beginning of this. That was really important. All right, what's our what's our signing off? What do we want to let them know as we sign off?

Samantha Pruitt 1:24:59

Oh, that one crazy life that you have and that one rented body. How it feels in that rented body and in that life is more important than how it looks.

Polly Mertens 1:25:12

And every day is your opportunity to find your