Journey To The Soul

Embracing Evolution: A Lesson on Love

• Jacenda Villa

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Marriage and travel have been my latest adventures, and they've gifted me with transformative insights that I’m excited to share with you this week on Journey to the Soul. Reflecting on the joys and introspections that these milestones bring, I invite you into my journey of embracing life's changes and the beautiful evolution of love. Returning to Tennessee's vibrant fall, I cherish the shift in my relationship with my partner, Kenny, and the profound lessons it has taught me about opening my heart and valuing vulnerability.

Ever wondered how your destiny can be guided by the stars? This episode uncovers the fascinating world of astrology, particularly focusing on the lunar nodes. My North Node in Libra and South Node in Aries represent my transition from independence to finding balance and partnership. Through my evolving relationship with Kenny, I illustrate the challenges and triumphs of moving from a self-reliant lifestyle to one that thrives on cooperation and mutual growth, proving that individuality can coexist within a nurturing relationship.

As we wrap up our soulful exploration, I encourage you to embrace life’s endless possibilities and open your heart to new experiences. By sharing my own story of love and vulnerability, I hope to inspire you to take the leap into the unknown, as the journey of love promises rewards that are both profound and life-changing. Stay connected with me on Instagram and share your insights from this episode. Let’s continue this journey of self-discovery and growth together, spreading positivity and light.

Generate your Astrology Chart HERE to discover your lunar nodes!
Interpret the meaning of your nodes HERE based off of what house and sign they are in.

Instagram: @jacendamarie


Speaker 1:

Hi, loves, welcome to the Journey to the Soul podcast. I am your host, jacinda Villa, a spiritual life coach and holistic health coach. Every week, we will be diving deep into all things purpose, wellness, spirituality and creating the life that you dream of. This space is meant to be safe and transformative for you to dive into the deepest parts of yourself. I will share what I have learned from my journey along this path years of research and mentors along the way. Having spent many years living life out of alignment and afraid to go after my dreams, I know firsthand what it means to take the first step down, living a life authentic to you. We are on this road of self-discovery together. It is time for you to live the life you imagined. Hi, everyone, welcome back to another episode of Journey to the Soul. Another episode of Journey to the Soul. I am so excited to be here with you this week.

Speaker 1:

It's been a couple of weeks since I actually recorded my last podcast episode. I was traveling abroad the last couple of weeks and I got married, so the last eight weeks really have been just so fast-paced, with so many things going on, life happening, trying to enjoy and be there to really experience this once-in-a-lifetime thing. So I decided to take a little hiatus in recording and just really enjoy and savor the moment. So I'm so excited to be back home and to be recording this for you today. It's just been a wonderful last couple of weeks, but I am really looking forward to getting back on track with everything. Especially when you're gone for that much time, it feels like sometimes you don't know how to get back in the swing of things. So it's nice to get back into some kind of routine and I have so many episodes that I want to record for you guys as well. So that is what I'm looking forward to, and also coming home and Tennessee being in full spring fall.

Speaker 1:

For anyone that's listening, I live in right outside of Nashville, tennessee, and you really do get to experience all the seasons here, and it's been so wonderful to come back home and to see the world changing color, to feel the slight chill in the air. It's one of my favorite seasons, so it's so lovely to see it come to life and really enjoy it. Considering that we've been in warmer climates the last couple of weeks, it's funny to come home and be like, oh, it's actually getting cold here again, but nonetheless, today's episode has actually been something that I have thought about over the last couple of weeks really leading up to me getting married, which we got married about a month ago. So leading up to us getting married, this was really weeks, months.

Speaker 1:

Leading up to this, I had been thinking about this particular thing a lot, and that was my relationship with my husband and how that has evolved, and I've just I feel like you know, sometimes when you're approaching a certain milestone in life, you tend to look back at where you've been, how you've grown, where you've come from and all of these things. I think it's only natural for us to do that. So, leading up to our wedding, those weeks, those months really, I had been thinking so much about our relationship and how our relationship has evolved as a couple leading up to this moment in time and how this became possible. You know us getting married and how that was such a huge thing for me in my life and that's what I wanted to touch on on today's episode is how I opened my heart up to my partner and how hard that was for me to do so. So, getting married and committing to do this life with him and knowing the value that that brings into my life and the richness that that brings into my life. It's been such a huge evolution from how it started with us, because that was really not how it started. There was a lot of fears there for me, a lot of other things that I had to overcome in order for me to have the relationship that I do with my partner now, and I'm going to introduce one aspect of astrology that I actually want to tie into this episode, because I feel like it's such an incredible thing to have in mind, so that we know how to honor ourselves, but also to know how we can really grow and be all that we're meant to be.

Speaker 1:

So today I'm gonna touch a little bit on the lunar nodes in astrology, and they are called your south node and your north node is what we call them in western astrology, and your north node essentially is your north star in this life. It's your compass, it's the direction that your soul is going in for its highest evolvement, so it's also tied to a zodiac sign. So those qualities are what you are here to embody when it comes to your north node, and your south node in astrology is what we come into in this life based off of our past lives. So it's often related to conditioning we can have and some people can feel very connected to their south node. It's really something that's familiar to most of us. But in this life we are meant to step into our north node. That is our purpose, that is our dharma, that's where we're going in this lifetime. So I love looking at the nodes for us to kind of get a macro idea of what our sole purpose is in this life, according to astrology. So studying your north and south node can really help you with this.

Speaker 1:

The south node, like I mentioned, is really our comfort zone. It's more taking in our past lives if we believe in that. Our south node comes with strengths that we come into the world with and these strengths come from our past lives. And this is why our south node can feel very comfortable, because it is something that we are familiar with, we are good at. This is something that we came into the world with. And the North Node it really just depends on the person. It can be very exciting, it can feel intimidating, it can feel very far-fetched and away from who you are in this moment in time. Maybe it's not something that you really embody in this moment. But regardless of that, according to astrology, our soul chose this unique combination of north and south node for us and for our highest evolution. So, even if it feels uncomfortable or unfamiliar, I really want to invite you, as this episode goes on, to really open your mind and lean into that.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes, the north and south node are also called the nodes of faith, or the dragon hand and the dragon tail, so there's a lot of verbiage that you can use when referring to them. If you know a little bit about astrology, perhaps you have heard about them before. If you have never heard about them in astrology or are not very well versed with Western astrology, again, this is such a great thing. To start with, you know, outside of your sun sign, your moon sign, your rising sign or things like that, the nodes really show us where we are going, so they're trying to usher us towards our most fulfilling path in this life. They show us what skins we need to shed, and the south node show us where we're coming from and what we're bringing into this life. They are things that we've already mastered this life. They are things that we've already mastered, and the North Node, on the other hand, represents what you're growing into. It's your destiny and it's not always easy to embrace. Growth is uncomfortable because it requires us to change and to do something differently than what we're normally comfortable with, but it is going to be the most fulfilling path for you if you honor that and really allow yourself to move into that.

Speaker 1:

I am going to share with you guys how you can pull up your North and South Node and when you do, I really encourage you to read on your North Node and see how you can integrate these traits into your life, because it can really be something that is so eye-opening and life-changing for you to honor these aspects. I'll share where you can do that later in the episode. But to tie back into our story, I want to share with you my North Node because it ties into the rest of what we're going to be talking about today, and my North Node is in Libra Libra and finding this out for me was super, super eye-opening and it made me more self-aware about where I was staying in my comfort zone and not really growing and expanding the way that my soul intended. So having my North Node in Libra means that my south node is in Aries and your north node and south node in astrology are really most of the time going to be opposite signs. So that also adds to it in the sense that whatever your south node is, that comfort zone your north node is going to typically be in the opposite sign and it's going to be something that feels most of the time, unfamiliar, uncomfortable and really rooted with a lot of fear. So I have my south Node in Aries and for me, my greatest growth will come from close and personal partnerships.

Speaker 1:

So in the past I was a lone operator and too selfish to work with others. Having a South Node in Aries is very a let-me-do-it-myself attitude, very me-against-the-world attitude. In this life I'm supposed to be learning how to compromise and cooperate with others, how to be in partnership, how to have balanced relationships that is that Libra energy right how to learn how to have my needs met but also keep the needs of other people in mind. So this is my growth in this life and going back to the story about me and my partner and me thinking about my evolution as a person in order for us to have the relationship that we do, I was very much living and still being in my south node in Aries and that's what felt good and right to me, so it was extremely uncomfortable for me to open myself up to him. I was so used to being independent. I never asked for help, I wanted to do everything by myself. I didn't trust other people and it was a very singular way of looking at the world. It was me against the world and never allowing myself to lean on anyone. I know I've discussed this in other podcast episodes and I've always felt like a very lone soul. You know the mentality of having to do it all on my own, of not being able to trust people being in a partnership, so you can see how much of an evolution has come in order for me to be in partnership.

Speaker 1:

There was a two-year gap between our first date and our second date, and our first interaction has always been something that stayed in my mind. That first date with him and I was always something that stayed top of mind to me, and it was because he felt so familiar to me. It was like we had known each other forever. Familiar to me, it was like we had known each other forever. I remember meeting him that night and sitting here talking to this man that I had just met, about my dreams and visions about life and hearing him talk and express his worldview as well.

Speaker 1:

I am a super private person so this for me was a big deal because I don't open myself up like that to anyone, even my family. I have always been a very private person and I'm very mindful about what I choose to share with other people and I'm very mindful about what I choose to share with other people. Speaking to him, it was the first time I felt like I didn't have to make myself small to feel understood and I could be fully myself with him, and previously with all of my other partners. We were always on different pages. I was always afraid to go after what I really wanted in life. I always knew what I kind of wanted out of life. I always had more clarity than them and that was always. A huge problem is that we often outgrew each other because I always wanted more out of life and I would often make myself small to make them feel comfortable.

Speaker 1:

And speaking with Kenny that night, I just knew, based off of how he was speaking and how I was speaking to him, that this was not someone that I needed to change my viewpoint on life or to change the way that I speak or try to conform in some way, because he truly spoke the same language as I did. I always believed that I had to give up who I was in order to be in a relationship. I felt like it was either one or the other, that you could not have both, and I have now come to learn that you can still be your full self with someone and still be independent over your life while being in a committed relationship. You don't have to choose. They both coexist and actually I believe it makes for a very happy and healthy relationship where you both have your individual lives and interests and friends, but you also have the beautiful life that you are creating together, so you can still have autonomy over your life and be in partnership.

Speaker 1:

It doesn't have to be one or the other, and that two-year gap between us having this interaction and then going on our second date was really something that I chose and I felt like I really in my mind over those two years, it was really me just simply fighting my demons. I was too afraid to open my heart to the possibility of what could be with this man that I knew was different. That was something that I realized that night that I spoke to him, I knew he was different, and it was very hard for me to work through my beliefs about men as well, stemming from my upbringing that all men are unfaithful and cheat and harm women. Therefore you cannot trust them, that you cannot rely on men. There was some deep stuff here, and although that first impression stayed ingrained in me, I still struggled to accept that I would need to change in order to let him into my life, and these were parts of myself that I had never needed to face nor wanted to face. But I knew that if I was going to let him in, I was going to need to face them, and there's so many layers to all of this.

Speaker 1:

I do believe, looking back now, that a part of me didn't believe that I deserved someone like him as well. Outside of feeling like we spoke the same language and like we had been friends in other lifetimes, there was also just the part that he was a good person, a kind person, and that radiated from him, and also that he was someone who was living life in a way that I had never seen before, and we come from such different backgrounds and upbringings, and I didn't see my intrinsic worth then. I still had little to no self-love for myself. I didn't understand my intrinsic worth just being alive, just being here and what I brought to the world. So I do believe there was some self-sabotage there as well. So during this time this is really the work that happened and I got back from a trip abroad with my family and finally made the decision that I was just going to take the risks that.

Speaker 1:

I had gone through this in my head so many times over the last two years, many times over the last two years, and I was beating a dead horse and I knew that if it wasn't now, then when was it going to be? And in my head it still felt like now was not a good time. There was so many things going on in my life. I was still relatively new to Tennessee. I had only moved three years ago. I felt like I was still getting my bearings in life. I was working like crazy. I was caring for my mom, who was living with me at the time and needed around the clock attention. So for me, trying to create space for this person was also a huge thing. It's like how do I even fit him into my life? You know now's not a good time, maybe later when I have more time or, you know, I have more flexibility with work or this or that. There were so many things that I kept telling myself.

Speaker 1:

But getting back from this trip abroad, I came back with a completely different perspective, and this was the first time I had traveled to Italy. I had actually just started traveling. It was only my second international trip of my life and it was July of 2019, and my first trip abroad was in 2018, so I really had only started traveling and I knew that I always wanted to travel in my life, but I kept putting it on the back burner. I was so focused on surviving. So things like this pleasure you know it was not something that was just a priority at that moment in time. But coming back from this trip, traveling in general, traveling and I am making an episode on this discovering new places in the world opens you up to life in a whole other way. Every time I travel, I am constantly being expanded in some way. My worldview is constantly changing.

Speaker 1:

So I just came back with a fresh perspective, a new version of reality, and my husband loves to travel and he always seemed to be somewhere when I spoke to him or when we exchanged texts is I knew that he loved to adventure and discover the world and that was a big part of his life and has been. And I was thinking while I was on this trip about how incredible it would be to have a partner to do this with. And he lived so differently than I did, but it was in a way that my soul yearned for. He really lived life differently than anyone around me. He lived a life of freedom, of adventure, lived on his own terms and really got to experience life in the most beautiful way. And I got back from this trip and I decided that I was willing to take the risk, to open myself up to him, to choose what I knew could be something incredible for the both of us to make decisions based off of the life I wanted. Make decisions based off of the life I wanted, not my fears, and I am so, so happy that I did, because my life has changed in the most beautiful way.

Speaker 1:

Like most relationships, we all hear it that it's not a walk in the park. Anything worth having in this life takes work and devotion to it, and I had to get really uncomfortable to let him in and because of that, we grew very quickly. I knew that if I wanted to make this relationship work, I was going to learn how to let him in, something that I had never done fully with anyone. My mindset, of course, has slowly changed about what it means to let someone in, what it means to be in a partnership, learning to balance my desires with those of the most difficult things for me to do in my life, and our relationship has truly been one of the greatest teachers in my life. But it's what I am meant to lean into in this life. So, even when it's uncomfortable, I lean in, because this is how I am meant to grow in this life. Knowing this information at this time, even if it came a few years later from when I chose to let him in, has been a huge expander for me. So I really encourage you, after this episode, to pull up your astrology chart and to see what your north and south node are. It will give you an incredible idea of how you are meant to grow and evolve as a soul in this life. How you are meant to grow and evolve as a soul in this life. You can learn and understand your strengths, but also where you are meant to go and step into. We don't need to fight these aspects of ourselves. In the show notes I am going to link where you can pull up your astrology chart. Where you can pull up your astrology chart as well as a brief summary of each north and south node. It's on Cafe Astrology's website, so I will link it below for you, that way you can read up on your nodes.

Speaker 1:

We have shared this beautiful life as a couple for over five years and we just started our chapter as husband and wife, and I think back to those five years and all we have done, all we have experienced. There have been so many trying times. With each one that passes, I have just been more and more certain that this is the person that is intended for me. There have been so many storms that we have weathered and I simply fall more deeply in love with him each time because there is no one else I would rather do life with. That becomes clear as time continues to pass. I can see the value in the us versus me now, the going at it together versus alone, of having someone to rely on and ask for help, and it's really been about learning to balance my very independent spirit, with the connection I have to others, finding harmony and balance. This is my karma in this life. He opened me up to that. He has shown me the value of what it means to be in a committed partnership, where you are devoted to one another, to walk together.

Speaker 1:

This is something that he grew up in, so it was very familiar to him, but for me, growing up almost in the exact opposite, it was very hard for me to open myself up to this. It wasn't something that I really thought was possible. I didn't know what a healthy, committed partnership was. He's also shown me how having people in your life to share it with is something that is invaluable, and I really didn't value that before. I was a lone soul and it was what I believe was the best thing for me. I felt like investing energy into people wasn't something that I believe was the right use of energy. Again and this was all by choice I always felt that I had to work towards my goals and dreams, and it was better to do it alone than with others, and it was because I knew what I could do, that I could count on myself, and investing time in friends or partners, or really any relationship was not a good use of my time.

Speaker 1:

My greatest lesson from this has been to not shy away from love, to lean into it. It is so worth it. It is a vulnerable and scary thing to open yourself up to other people, to not want to get hurt, but if you allow yourself, you will discover that it is one of the most amazing things that we get to experience in this life. It is to love another with our whole being, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Timing, I do believe, is everything, especially when it comes to our story, because I feel like that time between our first date and us reconnecting was so necessary for me and as well as him, and we talk about it now as a couple.

Speaker 1:

If we would have pushed it to work the first time around, if it would have really happened, if it would have worked and I honestly don't think it would have I don't think our relationship would have survived, because I needed to get to a certain place in order to be committed and commit myself to this relationship, and he also had to go through an evolution within himself. I meant to record this episode before we left as well, and it didn't happen, but I believe it all happens for a reason, and I have been reflecting on this so much while we've been abroad with friends, family, leading up to our wedding, being at the retreat that I just was in Dubai with a group of girls discussing relationships and femininity and all that wonderful stuff. I've actually talked about this more in the last few weeks than ever before and I realize, and have always known, that Kenny and I have a very strong love and connection, that our relationship and how we choose to live does constantly expand those around us. I've always known that. It inspires me all the time, and I know that not everyone gets to experience a love like this in their life. They have walls and don't allow themselves to do so. The risk is not worth the reward to them. Our love and devotion to each other still takes my breath away.

Speaker 1:

When we got married a few weeks ago, I was thinking of how much my love for him has grown since we have shared life together, how it has only deepened, and you can only love someone as deeply as you love yourself. The more one learns to love themselves, the more they learn to love another. For those of you who still try to keep their hearts closed off to love. I hope this episode inspires you to see that it is one of the surest risks in life that is worth taking. And don't we all ultimately just want to be loved and be cherished, to feel like we are special in the eye of someone we love?

Speaker 1:

This exists. This is possible. Take the chance and open your heart. I will talk to you all next week. I'm sending you so much love and light. Until then, I hope you enjoyed this episode. Please make sure you subscribe so you never miss an episode, and share this message with any friends and family. I'd love to hear your takeaways, so share them with me by leaving a comment below or heading over to my Instagram at Jacinda Marie. I am sending you all so much love.