S3E13 with David Mont Virgen - Becoming Your Own Reflection

What if the most important masterpiece you'll ever create isn't hanging on a gallery wall — but reflected back at you every morning?

Artist David Mont Virgen doesn't simply create reflective sculptures—he creates moments that invite us to see ourselves with greater honesty, courage, and compassion.

During this thoughtful conversation, David opens up about his extraordinary journey from growing up in Tijuana to discovering his authentic voice as an artist, designer, U.S. Army soldier, and creative visionary.

Together, we explore what it truly means to embrace every part of who we are, why authenticity creates stronger opportunities than trying to meet other people's expectations, and how creativity can become a pathway to healing, transformation, and deeper human connection.

David's polished stainless steel sculptures challenge us to look beyond the surface. They become mirrors — not simply reflecting our image, but inviting us to reflect on our lives, our values, and the people we're becoming.

Along the way, we discuss coming out, faith, identity, resilience, the unexpected lessons of military service, and why surrounding yourself with people who celebrate you may be one of the greatest decisions you'll ever make.

This isn't simply a conversation about creating art.

It's a conversation about creating a life that reflects who you truly are.

If you've ever questioned who you're becoming, wondered if it's too late to change, or needed a reminder that your life can become your greatest masterpiece, this conversation is for you.

To follow David on Instagram, you can find him here:  https://www.instagram.com/davidmontvirgen/

Thank you for joining us and we can't wait to welcome you back again next week! New episodes drop every Thursday and can be found wherever you find your favorite podcasts!  

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To follow us on Instagram, visit: https://www.instagram.com/justdoyoupod/

Want to learn more about our host, Eric Nicoll?  Visit:  https://ericnicoll.com

Transcript

0:06

Hello everyone, and welcome to season three of the JUST DO YOU. podcast. I'm Eric Nicoll, your host, and I'm so glad you decided to join us today. Whether this is your very first time joining in on the conversation or you've been listening along since the beginning, thank you for being here. This podcast exists because of you, your stories, your courage, and your willingness to keep choosing yourself even when it's not easy. The JUST DO YOU. podcast is a safe space for authentic, unscripted conversations that connect us, inspire us, and remind us of who we are at our core. Together, we're going to explore confidence, voice truth, and what it means to step fully into what I call the JUST DO YOU. sweet spot, that place where you are living honestly, intentionally, and unapologetically. This new season is about growth, reflection, possibility, and community. I'll be sitting down with friends, colleagues, community leaders, and influencers who are willing to share their journeys. The wins, the challenges, and everything in between. We'll laugh, we may shed a few tears, but in the end, we're going to continue to remind one another that none of us is walking this path alone. So are you ready? Great. Let's do this. Welcome to Season 3 of the JUST DO YOU. podcast. Welcome to today's episode. I am going to just jump right in. I'm really excited to introduce you to my guest today. We recently met at a fundraiser for the San Diego LGBTQ Center, and we'll get into exactly why we met, but I want to read a quick bio of our guest. His name is David Mont Virgen. And David's a Mexican artist and designer who lives here in San Diego, California. His multidisciplinary practice spans sculpture and furniture, interior design, and creative direction. Working primarily with polished stainless steel, which is the piece that I actually saw that he had created at this event, which was stunning he transformed reflective services into portals that investigate time and perception and self-awareness. His work blurs the boundaries between object, space, and the observer, creating pieces that evolve through interaction and invite moments of contemplation. And David first of all, let me just introduce everyone to David. Hi, David. Welcome to the podcast. Hi, Paul. I'm so happy to be here. I am too. You can tell 'cause I- Finally here again Oh, it's good to see you, and you can tell that I'm excited 'cause I was just barreling right into my questions. But as I read your bio- Wow and I, it took me back to that event at Designs Within Reach when I saw your piece. And one of the things that I love that you say is that it invites moments of contemplation. And we met during Pride season here in San Diego, and your piece, which I'm going to ask you to talk about in a little bit, was really powerful. And what I loved about your piece, and what I love about art for me, is that when I really see a piece that moves, touches, and inspires me, I love to spend time with that piece and reflect.. And your piece spoke to me in such a way, especially with everything that's going on right now in our world and in our country and in our community that really showed a lot of power. So we're going to talk about that. But first, I always ask my guests when they come on to the show what their superpower is, or as I'm now rephrasing that, what do you think your greatest gift and how did you discover it? And your response to me was, "My superpower is transforming ideas, emotions, and personal experiences into meaningful visual stories. Whether through art, design, or creative strategy, I love creating work that helps people see themselves and the world from a new perspective." And I want you to talk about that for a minute. What do you mean by a new perspective? Elaborate on what you mean and how that experience is for you. So for me for me, what I love to do is to create. I love creating, I love designing. But when I started doing this with the medium I chose to like mainly use, which is, as you said, polished stainless steel. What I loved about it is like the reflectiveness it has, right? So when I was like creating pieces and exploring the medium, like five years ago, I started to realize, like I'm not creating an object or an art piece or a, a furniture piece. I'm creating something that goes beyond the purpose of the object or the purpose of the piece. Like the reflectiveness of them, like it makes the viewer think more about what is reflected or the person that is s- like observing the piece than act- the actual piece. Like obviously the piece is really important and it's meaningful, and it has like a, a description and a message and a purpose, but the viewer can give their own perspective about the piece. And they can reflect themselves and they can find something they didn't know about them just looking at the piece. Like I, I feel like the, the description of the piece or the meaning I gave to the piece I make I create, like it's like a the way the viewer can start- the process of understanding the piece, but the more they look at it and depending where the piece is at, located at, like it's going to reflect the- surroundings. It's going to reflect the people around it. It's going to reflect the viewer. And the more you look at it, the more you get into a dep- like a more depth- understanding of the piece, but also of who you are as a person- Yeah and why you are there in that exact moment and why are you looking at the piece? Why am I here? Like you start connecting the description of the piece with your own personal story. And then it starts i- in my case and a- and a lot of people have told me the same, like they start like thinking about it and they... A- and it's something they, that happens even hours after seeing the piece. And I think that's really impactful and I'm really happy to have that feedback from people. It, that makes my work even more meaningful for me. Yeah. Because I'm not just creating art, I'm just- I'm creating pieces that make people understand more of who they are- than just an art piece. Yeah. And I think that's part of what art is at the beginning I thought it was like creating pieces that ask questions. Then I was like, I wanted to create pieces that gave answers, and then I realized that's not m- that's not what I'm doing this. I'm doing this because people need the space of meditation while they're- s- what? Seeing art. But also to, for them to explore who they are and how they feel inside and not only on the outside. Yeah. I will tell you, so for our listeners, the piece that I am referring to and that you're talking about was done, and correct me if I'm wrong, on polished steel. Correct? Yes. Stainless steel. Yes. Stainless steel. And encased in this stainless steel pa- piece, which was obviously re- very reflective, were and again, correct me if I'm wrong, I'm assuming those were acrylic or kind of Lucite panels that were in the rainbow colors. Correct. Correct. So for me, when I... Of course, I hadn't met you yet. I saw the piece. I heard there was some rumblings of people bidding on this art piece, and I have a history for how I collect my art, and I started many years ago when I lived in Laguna Beach. And they had what's called First Thursdays, and it's when they opened all the galleries in the neighborhood. And on the first Thursday of every month during a season people would go and walk the galleries, and they'd be able to go in, and there was always food and wine, and you get to meet the artists. And I went with some friends one time to my friend Marian's gallery, and I walked in and I saw these beautiful contemporary paintings on a wall, and the artist was standing right beneath them. And I do admit, back then I had a little too much wine- to drink. And I fell in love with this piece. It was a triptych that was hanging on the wall. It's very simple. It's very clean. I'm color blind, so I don't like a lot of what I call messy, and I don't mean that in a bad sense, but, muddled kind of colors. I like to see things very clearly. And there was this very contemporary piece, and I started talking to the artist, Rita Blit, and I said, "Tell me about the painting." And she goes it's a ballet dancer," and she was dancing across this triptych. And it was just these very simple brush strokes, and it gave me the chills in that moment. And in that moment, I spent- probably 20 minutes just staring at the painting, and I ended up buying the piece. And there's a whole story that goes with that, that I mistook how much it cost. Actually, I think in my wine stupor, and when I went back to pay for- When I went back to pay for it at the end of the month, it was four times what I thought it was. So it's become my favorite piece of art. I share that because I spent ex- considerate amount of time, a considerable amount of time with your piece as well. And when you were sharing what you were sharing about that process for you, is what that piece did for me in that moment was it gave me an opportunity to see myself in the reflection, but then to also see the community. Yes. And that to me, in the moment and in the space that I'm in my mindset right now, I struggle a lot with anxiety and what's going on in our world. But it gave me this sense of peace, and a sense of family, and a sense of connection that no other piece had ever done for me. And I remember spending time thinking about my own journey and my own process, and we were there obviously to support the LGBTQ Center of San Diego, which is obviously a huge part of our community, and is there to support not only our community, but also our allies. And so your piece transcended that moment, right? Very lucky gentleman walked home with that piece. But that piece has been in multiple conversations that I've had with people throughout the course of the Pride season in June and July. And so I want to thank you for that, because it really was powerful. And sometimes it's hard to explain that empowerment, right? Sometimes it's hard to explain exactly what I felt the day that I bought my first painting or when I saw yours. What I love about you sharing your superpower is helping people see themselves. And that, in this day and age, is so important, because the Just Do You podcast was created out of a space of wanting people to simply be themselves- Yes and to find that space, and to find that path. So take us back, if you can. I like to take my guests back a little bit to find out a l- let's say some history about you. Where were you born? Give us a little insight into your family, brothers, sisters, mom and dad. What was life like for you, Yes in early David years? Yes. Give us a little bit about that. Just first I just want to say thank you- Oh, you're welcome of how you spoke about my piece. Like- It, that's the whole reason of that piece, actually. Like the people that's hearing this, they won't be able... Like even when I post something on social media about my pieces, because they're reflective- sometimes you cannot fully feel the experience of seeing them in person. But the piece, when you see it the Pride piece, the Pride edition piece that you saw, when you saw it from the front, you only see reflection. You don't see the colors. So when you move, you can see the colors of the Pride flag. But that's the whole meaning of the piece. Like even when, in history people try to erase us or try to make us invisible and think or pretend we don't exist, like you cannot erase us. Like we are going to, we're, we have always been here. We're here right now, and we're, we will always exist. So it's part of that visibility, not only with yourself, our community, but with everyone. And I think it's a really important message of, of history and future. We are here to stay and we're going to be always here, like it or not. But, also, yeah, I'm just happy of- everything you said about the things. Thank you so much. My pleasure. My pleasure. Yes. But talking about myself, I'm originally from Tijuana, Mexico. I'm 36 years old right now. I grew up- I was born and raised in Tijuana. I grew up there. I have a really big family. My mom has they- they're 10 brothers and sisters. Wow. My dad's side are eight. So I have a lot of cousins. I grew up in a really medical environment. From my dad is I don't know how to say it in English, but Cirujano maxilofacial. Is a surgeon molar. I don't have to explain it. Oh, okay. It's a- oral surgeon like a dentist. Yeah. Oral surgeon. Yes. My mom is a doctor and most of my uncles and aunts are mostly doctors. Wow. Everyone is in the medical device. Even my brother is in the medical, not device, in the medical area. And I used to, when I was a kid, I was always like, "Oh, I'm going to be a doctor. I'm going to be a doctor." And while growing up, I was like, "No, I'm not going to be a doctor." I realized I was more on a creative side- professionally and because that's who I am. I'm a really creative person. I love drafting and I have like tons of notebooks filled with ideas and concepts that I usually go back and see everything I draw. And I was like, "Oh, I drew this 10 years ago," like now make- it makes sense. I can I use it also as inspiration for new pieces. And I love I love that. But yeah, so I grew up in Tijuana. I lived there till I was 23, 24-ish. Then I moved to Mexico City. I was there like seven, eight years. I loved living in Mexico City and I used to work in marketing there. And, in corporate life, marketing corporate life. But I used to love it, but then the pandemic hit and- I got laid off. So I'd had to come back to Tijuana and reor- reorganize my life. And I actually came back to Tijuana and started working in the medi- medical industry, marketing, but still medical industry. And I wasn't really happy with what I was doing. I was, like, contemplating, like w- I started asking myself, "What am I doing right now?" "Why am I doing something I'm not-" Something that I, is not fulfilling me- as a person. Because it's different to have a job that everyone needs a job to pay your bills and pay for your rent and whatever, but I think what's missing right now e- even more here in the US I believe people is really money driven. And sometimes people forget that we as people, as humans, we have passions. And when you do- your passion and you do it fully committed and are giving your 100% to what you love to do- you can create a life out of it. Yeah. Or if not, you can find a balance and and try to not forget that part of who you are- and that's going to give you your identity and make you feel satisfied. And I feel that also has a lot to do with a lot of people suffering with depression and not feeling like themselves, because- sometimes you need to follow your passions to- Yeah find that about yourself. One of the things that you said to me in our onboarding was and you put this in the notes that I asked you to send me, and you said that learning that authenticity creates stronger opportunities than trying to fit into other people's expectations. Exactly. And that was a huge... That gave me the chills, and then it also was like a gut punch because so many people, I know many people who have f- tried to fit those expectations and continue to struggle in their careers because there's no passion in what they do. There's no joy in what they do. And you're so correct. We do need to earn money. We need to pay our bills. We need to be able to afford to live, but I'm... I've reinvented myself multiple times throughout my career, although I've been in the same career now for the last 26 years. I've reinvented myself within that career and been able to find certain things like the podcast and other things to bring me some joy. But s- so many people work their entire lives and don't get to experience that until much later, if not when it's too late. So the fact that you were able to see that throughout this journey is really important, and it shows people, and I think the more people that listen to this that can step back and say, "Is there a part of my journey that's missing? Is there a part of that passion or something that brings me joy missing? And how do I, rather than, let's say, quit cold turkey and try to start over again, are there ways that I can bring some of that into my life and- maybe with time kind of pivot and move into something that's a little bit more fulfilling. Yes. And that's a really powerful statement. I do... Told you I collect art, but over the last year I've been taking painting classes from a friend of mine who is a, an artist. And when I first started, I loved art. I loved art as a kid, but when I was diagnosed being color blind very early on, I think I was in first or second grade, the comments and the bullying that came from the students and even from the teacher shut me down and shut down that entire creative side of my body. And for my entire career, I relied on other people to bring in that creativity. I would hire the best designers or hire the best artists. And what this last seven months has allowed me to do is, over the course of time, especially with this, this current month's lesson, was just let go and just have fun. Yeah. Yes. And am I Picasso yet? No. Do I want to be Picasso yet? No, I don't. But I'm able to really express myself, and those are the things that I think are so important. And a lot of times as you get older, people will say, "Oh, it's too late. Oh, I'm not going to do that. It's, it's not something that I can take on now." And I really encourage people, I've told so many people through this painting class that I've gone to is, whatever it is, singing, painting, piano lessons, whatever it is that you want to do, dance, just go do it. Yes. Just go do it. Because you're going to wake up one day and you're going to be turning 60 and you're going to wish that you had done that. I have a question for you. Coming from that enormous family, I have no idea and concept what that's like. I'm an only child. And- I have, I think I have- I'm going to say this right, one, two, three, four, I have six cousins and then their families. So that's it, and it's just me. So I have no concept of 20 aunts and uncles. Did you struggle through your course of your childhood and your adolescence to find your lane or to find your voice? Or did you, did that come naturally to you? Or did it matter to you? First of all, I would just, I just want to say you're color blind. That's not a limitation. That's actually a n- like a unique point of view you have with art. So your, that makes your art even more special. So I'm glad you're taking- Aw the classes, and embrace it. You, whatever you do in art it's going to be unique because that's- That means a lot. Yeah. That means a lot. Thank you for saying that. Yeah. That's very sweet. And about your question, yes. Even when I was growing up, first I was, like, really afraid of being myself, my my authentic self because I was, I grew up pretending like I, I'm straight. I'm straight. I'm straight. And I cannot say I'm gay. And I grew up a lot even in a- adolescence, I remember suppressing myself a lot because I had so many cousins that we started drinking and going out because in Mexico it's way before than here. You're just like- Yep. Yeah, you start drinking in Mexico really young, so I remember at the beginning I was, like, suppressing a lot myself and trying not to ring the alarms or how you say it? Yeah. I don't want, wanted people to know because I was really insecure about it. And but then when I came out actually really young, like 15, 16. I remember I first told some friends, and they were really encouraging and they were really supportive. And I'm extremely, grateful with them and they gave me the courage to just, be yourself. And I just started not giving i'm go- I'm going to be myself. If they want to be with me, they're going to be. If they don't want, they won't. And I'm not going to be faking who I am. I'm going to be unapologetically who I am. And I started doing that, and I really felt really supported- from all my family. Obviously at the beginning it was slightly a little difficult with my dad because he's older and, we, all my family has a really, a religious, background that even today it's hard, I believe for myself sometimes. And I'd never realized that until I went five years ago to the Vatican in Italy and I went to a mass provided- by the pope. So the pope was giving- the mass. And I went to get a confession. And when I was trying to explain my, the, the issue, the, the not a sin but I was trying to speak with the father in the confession. I was trying to say something about my partner- and my situation in that moment. I just I couldn't say he, so I lied and I said she. I it was a really eye-opening moment in my life that started a conversation with myself about why was I not able to say who I am even- in a, in an institution that is supposed to support me and make me feel welcomed and loved and, and so that started a, a really deep conversation that I have with myself till today of r- re-embracing what I was talking about with my cousins and my friends. That I need to be myself. It doesn't matter if it's with family, friends, church, or I felt really, I felt like I, in a how can I explain it? In a conceptual way- I feel like I killed myself in that moment. I was like I wasn't able to say who I was. Like, I- erased myself for a moment. And I was talking about something I was not. It, so it was a really deep moment for me. So that made me reevaluate my, my, not my belief because I'm a r- Sure a person with a lot of faith, and I do believe in what I believe. Of course. But that made me reevaluate my relationship with church and, like, how to start... ch- just recently this year I went back to church in the Army actually because I was in training this year and just to escape for a moment- I was going to church every Sunday. And I started that conversation again- of how can I feel if I want to feel the... If I want to go to church, how can I make it work- for me, I don't know if I explain myself. But that- No, it's perfect that started- It's perfect, David a whole world of, exploration that I actually am thinking of creating also some art pieces talking about this narrative because talking about this actually open up more conversation. Sure. Because when I talk about this experience, I heard I don't know women talking to me like, "Oh, I felt the same way when I got divorced. They judged me so much for being divorced." And it starts a, a, a whole world of conversation that it's intense. And I, I- And I think- Sorry. No, go. No, go. No. I just I was going to say I deviate the conversation, but- no. No. It's perfect because I think this is where people will really resonate with your story, David. Because you're not... you're amazingly unique, but you're not the only person who has this conversation about their faith. M- most- people who go through this journey of finding their, themselves, their true selves, and living authentically are going to be confronted with their faith at some level and at some point in the journey. What I love about what you said, which was super powerful and I think will really resonate with people, is that... And this is just my belief, okay? Was not raised in that kind of institution. We were what I would call seasonal churchgoers. Had a personal relationship with God, but not within the four walls of the church. Very different experience than other religions. So for me, my process of coming out was only enhanced by that relationship that I have with my faith, whereas others I know really confront with it. However, having said that, I believe that our relationship to God is our relationship, and so the relationship that you have with your faith and with your religion is going to take time for you to develop and for you to experience and for you to explore, and that's really powerful because I think that only enhances your relationship with God or your religion, whatever your religion may be, for those of them, our guests who are listening. That's important because one size doesn't fit all in this world of being authentic, and in order for y- I always like to say this you can't be partially authentic. Exactly. You can't. And I think a lot of people think they can, and you can't. There's an inauthenticity about being partially authentic, and it doesn't mean that it's wrong. It just means that you have some journey to accomplish. Exactly. So I'm glad you brought that up because what I think is so interesting is there is no guidebook to growing up, and there is no lesson. There is no degree- in school of how to live authentically. We teach English. We teach history. We teach Spanish. We teach science. We teach all of those things in school, but we don't necessarily teach you how to be you. Exactly. And I think it's one of the biggest mistakes that we make- Yes in our education system- and when- especially in the early years and when you said there's no book for growing up I feel like there's no... So growing up is you're going to be growing up till you die. So there's no... Actually, there's no guide, but I feel, one if I may, one- Please really important thing I learned these past years is that till the day you're, you die, you're going to keep growing. You're going to keep evolving. You're going to- keep changing because most of people say, "No, you, people don't change. People don't change." Actually b- ja- just ask yourself, are you the same person you were five years ago? Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? Are you the same person- Yeah you were last year? No, because we are- We're in a constant growing mentally, physically, emotionally. We're living experiences that are like shifting our path, and that makes us like unique in that sort of way, but we are still changing. And that- that's okay because people are really committed to one thing. So people I'm, and more here in the US I've noticed that, like people think they have a clear path to follow, and they keep... I don't know how to explain it, but I'm going to try to explain like this. So people here I feel not everyone, but that's part of my experience- and that's some type of advice I would like to give. Like people here are trying to build, like they're making their building, like a huge tower. They're building their tower of who they are in like they're really specific. I am, I don't know, I'm an architect and I'm, I go to this place and this is who I am. And like actually you don't need a... that's how I feel about it. You don't need to be, to make this huge tower. Like you can build a city of buildings- and realize you don't need to be one thing. You can like actually be an architect or you can be an artist or you can be a nurse and you can also go do ceramic and you can do like you can love to read, but you can also go and love to go out and par- and for pa- I don't know how to say it, to party. And you can like, like you can do multiple things and like I would love to see more people instead of like- concentrating their energy to build a huge tower to actually build a city, and that's going to give you not only more tools, but it's going to create m- more community, and you're going to meet more people, and that's going to give you so much culture and more knowledge and actually human connections. That- that's also that we are missing a lot right now, and that's- human connection. I think that's, human connection is one of the things that's going to give you more change in a positive way while your life journey. We also need to get people to put their phones down. Yes. Also. And I'm- I want to s- I'm also a victim of that because I'm always on my phone. We do. Everybody is. But I, it is, but I, like, when you said it it's actually a fact. You, you can al- also, obviously you're going to be on your phone, but make the time to put it down for a minute and start a conversation with a stranger. Yeah. COVID messed us all up, and it put us in our rooms- and in our houses with our social media and our phones and a myriad of other things. I don't want to breeze over this 'cause it's, it literally gave me goosebumps when you said this, is that, and I think you said it more eloquently than I've heard in a long time, which is, and it's a cultural thing for us here in the US, that we build this tower. And that tower has to show all of our successes and all of our achievements, and it has... It's almost like our armor, and we create this armor around us which is impenetrable. And a lot of times we are so disconnected because we've built this structure that people can't get into, and we wonder why we're alone, or we wonder why we're lonely. And when you said to build a city, I got the goosebumps because you're right. When you're in that tower, when you're up on the 67th floor, no one can get to you. But if you build a city, there's access points and storefronts and streets and parks and opportunities for people to connect. And it's been my thought since COVID, and even before that a little bit, mostly since COVID though, as we're coming up on seven years, is that the isolation that it created for us is not, it's not back to what it was beforehand, and we're struggling to get back there as, as a culture. And- Yes what I find so difficult is that- There are opportunities for people to connect and to meet and to grow and to learn and to experience joy. And I'm noticing that there's a resistance to it. I haven't quite figured out why. That's a whole other podcast episode. It could be a series of episodes. But getting and circling back to you and your art, is the thing that I love about art and the thing that I love about those that create it and share it for those of us that are experiencing it, is what you said earlier, is that my experience of your piece is going to be completely different than what somebody else is experiencing. The guy that I was bidding against at the event was having a very different conversation with your art piece than I was. I don't know what it was, but he was having a very different conversation. And what I love about that is because that sparks conversation. And our world, each of us, I believe our world only exists through a network of conversations. Yes. And those conversations are what bring us together. And I think, David, that we're in a spot, I was thinking about this as you were talking, is that we're in a place now just given the chaos and the ridiculousness of what's happening in our world right now is we're afraid to talk. Yes. We're afraid to open up and say, and I'm guilty of this, to say to someone else, to you at a, at an event where I've just met you, "I'm scared," or, "I'm feeling lonely," or, "I'm feeling isolated and your art made me feel love and made me feel joy, and I want to thank you for that." Or, "It was great meeting you at that event. Can we go for a cup of coffee? I'd love to get to know you better." And, or, do you know what I mean? And that, I'm noticing that's not happening a lot these days. And my hope is that opportunities to connect and learn something about someone else is going to be what brings us back to community- Yes and what brings us back to a culture that we knew prior to all this craziness. Did I think it was going to go this far? No. Did I think it was going to get this divisive and this toxic? No. Do I think it needed to happen? Some will argue with me, but I say yes, because we will come back together stronger- and more connected than ever before, and our community is testament to that. Yes. We've been through hell in a handbasket. I don't know if they have that phrase in Mexico, but we've been through hell Yeah and back- Yes many times over. And yet the one thing that our critics dislike and communicate the most about us is that connection, and is that resilience, and is that ability to come together as a community. And like you said, we've been around forever. We're here now. We're not going anywhere. And that, I think, is really what bothers them. And I've interviewed quite a few people in our community, and some of our strongest allies, I think it was Bamby Salcedo director of the TransLatin@ Coalition, and she said... I asked her point-blank, I said, "Why do you think everybody hates us so much, and especially towards the trans community?" And she goes, "Because we're living our most authentic lives, and they can't or won't." Or they're afraid to. Afraid to, yes. Their escape is just to hate- Us because they cannot- Correct they're not brave enough to be there themselves. And so that's why the resilience is there, and they're not comprehending that, right? That's misfiring in their experience of us. Like, why are we not backing down? Why are we not retreating? Why are we not running? Because this isn't our first rodeo. And so I love what you've said. You also said something in our conversation, and I jotted this down and it said that, or you said oh, what was it? You use art as a way to process change, identity, and transformation. So I want you to talk about that for a minute. What did you mean when you said that? So using art as a way to process change. Are you talking about you? Are you talking about the person who's experiencing your art? I'm talking about both. I feel like it's a, for me, it's an experience because when I create art, first it's a process, first of all. So first I draft or I see my previous drafts, and then I- get inspired, and I find the time and the place to inspire myself, and I think about the piece and why, the whys and how, and the hows and how can I make it. And it's a, a huge process that makes me think more, and I always... That's I'm going to blame myself about that because I do think about it a lot. There's a lot of thought behind every piece I do, and it's not only the physical part of the piece, it's more the conceptual part of the piece, the whys I'm, or the why I'm doing it. And that makes me grow a lot. It's like a therapy with myself. It's a really- it's like it's an ex- a really exhausting process because I really go deep in, in my mind and I start thinking about the piece and how and it... But also it makes me grow. And that's actually it's some- it's something I love of what I do, that I'm in constant communication with myself. And I learn how to be alone, to explore my ideas. And it was like a challenge because when I grew up I was always with people and I was like a... I- I've always been an introvert, first of all. So I- Wait, how are you an introvert in a family of 50? Because they're... I grew up with so many like big energies. Yeah. Including my brother. Like my brother is less than one year older than me. So growing with a, a huge personality- it's like I got used to being with someone really loud. So I- kept like more silent, if it makes sense. Like finding the balance- It does. It does with a huge energy, like I lower my voice. So I grew up around so much noise that I, I, till today I think I'm an introvert. I'm, like these past five years, I, it's I've been in like a huge transformation. And I started like getting to know me better- while I do art, and it's actually therapeutic and I feel like I've learned who I am, what am I doing, where am I going. Like I'm still learning but it helped me to understand who I am as a person. But it helped me also to get out of this comfort zone- and start conversations. Because that's exactly what you said before, like people, like they're not really willing to have conversations and create connections. And I learned that if I wanted to keep growing and keep creating, I needed this. So I- I just start- started like putting myself out there and s- even if it's like super difficult for me to explain something or the language barrier or the nervous- nervousness of me talking with people, like I'm trying to push myself all the time and being myself. But just like pushing me to be more open. Because that's also a decision. I feel like People can say "Oh, I'm not like that. I won't be able to..." No, you need to put yourself out there and you need to know the reason why. If you want to keep growing and keep having a conversation with people, you need to put yourself out there. Yeah. Yes. So y- what's interesting David, is after 100 episodes, I hear this a lot. Yeah. So this is a common thread through everyone's experience, right? But here's the interesting thing, and I don't know if anyone's ever told you this, but your experience of you is very different- than our experience of you. Yes. You m- may or may not have noticed it, but I love to watch people. And so when I met you that day at the event, I watched you with your friends and with the people around you. And especially when you guys were taking the photographs, there was a photographer there who was taking head shots of people, and I was watching you interact with your friends and other people. And what I found so interesting with your statement just now is that had I not heard you say that you are an introvert, you consider yourself one, and that you're, it's d- difficult at times, was not the experience that I have, right? So what I find so fascinating about hearing this story over and over again with people is that insecurity or that fear of saying the wrong thing or not explaining yourself well, or all those things, is so deep with inside us, but we don't experience it. We just experience you for the remarkable human being that you are. And the thing that's so great about is, I believe we all have, I say, major issues with our own identities, right? You, it might be your language barrier. Me, I'm too tall. I'm 6'4". I wish I was shorter, and I know that's crazy, right? You might think, oh, and hope that you could explain things better, or the language barrier was an issue. My point of all that is to say is that in just you doing you, you being you in that space is not the experience that we have of you. I thought it was beautiful and brilliant. So my little five-cent pulpit for the moment. But what, what really got to me, and I want to transition this 'cause I want to be respectful of your time, but I want to get a little bit more detail, is you also said... You gave me so many great snippets on the intake form. I love this. But you said, "Balancing seemingly different identities, artist, designer, creative professional, and Army soldier," which we're- Yes going to talk about. And realizing they strengthen each other. That, to me, caught me off guard because of the Army soldier part, so I want to talk about that for a second. But I have, I want to, have a lead-in question to all that. So listening to your story and your journey, here you are in Mexico, right? Very large family. You're blending in, trying to find your voice, your space. You're also dealing with your own identity, your own sexuality, and you're competing with a lot of very energetic and very, as you said, loud energies within your family. You go into I'm assuming, this journey of- continuing to evolve and grow and school and learn and come out and all that, what's the process for you like? Do you have an idea where you're going to end up? Or meaning the army, was that something that you thought about in addition? 'Cause that's a very unique and interesting melting pot- Yes of identities right now, right? What was the process for you to get to current David? Oof. It's been, current David, it's been, as I told you, a lot of internal work. So I was, as I told you, I came back to Tijuana after the pandemic- and I started working in marketing. I wasn't happy with myself and what I was doing. So I started, I was like, "You know what? This is a perfect time to explore." Eh, the world is shut down. I'm going to start doing what I love, and I started getting welding classes and exploring that direction of- embracing my art and what I was having on my mind. And I think that, that was the point when I started actually having my life in my hands. I started- w- putting myself first, and I started realizing that Time, they say time is money, but no, time is like the only thing you have, like in life. So I wanted to make my time worth- worthy. Not m- money value, but- worthy of living. So I star- I started doing what I love. I started doing small art pieces and small furniture pieces. At the same time in the pandemic I was doing the interior design diploma I had from Madrid, actually. And but then I met someone and now I'm in my divorce process, but at the moment I was really happy. And I will never speak badly about this person, but I'm really grateful for the good moments. But in, at some point we got married and we were living in Tijuana, and then we decided to come live in the US. Because my ex is a Mexican-American citizen. So we started the process of me becoming... for getting a green card. And so I was living here in San Diego three years ago. And I don't know, like the relationship started, like, going nowhere. So- life happens it, the relations- like it didn't work. And like fast-forward it didn't work. And last year, we separated last year. So I was in a point of life that I was... I am, like in these past five years, I was creating my authentic self. And I'm really happy I did it because today I know who I am, and I know what I'm doing and what am I doing it. And I realized that e- even if other people don't like who you are becoming, even if it, that's positive for me- You cannot expect everyone to be happy about who you are becoming, if it makes sense. But I was finding my happiness and other people wasn't happy, for me being happy. So I realized that was not- Sure where I should be- at the moment. So when I... when we decided to separate I was like on a jeopardizing situation because I was on a green card- conditional green card there two years. They're only for two years. And I was like contemplating what am I going to do? Am I going to go back to Mexico? Am I, If I want to stay here in the US, like what are the options for me to do it correctly? Because if I like doing something, it's doing something correctly. I like always doing the things the right way- Sure the legal way. I'm really structured and I grew up really in that manner. Sure. Like everything, doing everything correctly and with my values and like that. So I was exploring my options. And I do have a cousin that he's part of the Army, and he gave me the advice or the... He was like, "Why don't you join the Army?" And I was like, "Oh my me? For real?" And he was like, "No, for real, why don't you join the Army? You can get citizenship really fast. I can take you with someone so you can learn more about it." And I was I didn't even realize like he was serious till after. But I ended up listening to him and I went and asked. And when I signed with the Army- one month prior to that, I would never thought I would have joined the Army, like for real. Even the day before I, I went to training, because when you join the Army you must go through- a combat training and and they call it AIT, which is like combining military training with a like university type of learning. Depending your MOS and your what the career you chose within the Army. But even one day before I, I had my flight to go to training, I was in shock. Like I was like why am I doing this?" I really want to stay here in the US. But yes, I love San Diego. I love living here, but I love the freedom we have and the visibility as part of the gay community and- like I, I love the, the lifestyle. I went to training and before I went to training, actually, I was really afraid because I was afraid of going to a place when w- where I was assuming might be really conservative- and the current situation of, the people in power right now, I was really afraid. I was like- I don't know if there's going to be a really a lot of ho- homophobic people or, like- extremely supporters of the president or I was really afraid of this- Sure situation. Sure. But when I arrived there, I was really surprised actually. But I arrived to training and the first thing they told us "Hey," like for real, the first thing they told us, like, "Rule number one, we don't speak about politics in here." "We cannot speak about politics." And I was, "Oh, that's cool." And then they were like, "We cannot..." "If someone say something about someone being gay or they're out." The, the zero tolerance- about anyone bullying anyone or being offensive to anyone. Here we go through values and respect, and they have the, the, the army values. Yeah. I was really impressed, and I realized they actually have this teamwork eth- ethic- that had surprised me. It was a really nice environment. There was people from all around the world. I felt I made really good friends. And I was really surprised. And actually, obviously, the first three months were really complicated physically, mentally. They, they're- Sure. They're making... They're taking away your civilian life, and they're trying to make you a soldier, so it's really hard. I will never do that again. Never. But the, the, but the last three months, it's six months length. The, the last three months I really enjoyed them. I enjoyed the people I was with. I make, as I told you, really good friends. It gave me another point of view- because it made me realize we live in fear. Even me- Like eight months ago, I was living in fear of knowing people that have other point of view different from mine. Sure. Sure. And I just realized they're not even thinking like that. Like we are always going to like extreme thinking, but that- that's even part of this conversation is like we need to be open to- see different points of view without getting all like- I don't know if it makes sense. No. It makes sense in my mind, but- David, it does. This is my point and what I said to you earlier. It's like we need to be open to other conversations. Doesn't mean we have to agree, doesn't mean we have to fully understand. It just means we have to be open to the conversation. Exactly. And what we're experiencing now is that closed, being closed off and not being open to other conversations or alternative conversations. I'm really proud of you, and I don't mean that condescendingly. But I'm really proud of you for going through that process and what was probably fear in the beginning. And it's very easy to say, I like to say fear is false expectations that appear real, right? Fear. Easier to say than to experience as you go into the military and go into training. I personally can't imagine. I... gives me heart palpitations, but I'm super proud of you for that and that you experienced that because it's the experience you probably, I shouldn't say probably, you did change a lot of conversations and internal dialogue with people throughout those six months probably that you don't even know. Yes. You shifted people simply by being you, and it was scary and it was fearful, and it was all of those things. But you found a way through it. You got through the training. You got through the crazy part of it, the, the emotional, physical, mental, I'm sure calisthenics that you had to do every single day. Yes. And through that process, you impacted people and showed yourself, most importantly, who you are- and another part of you, right? This is just like you said earlier. It's an, it's that other part of me. This other identity. A part of me is now soldier. That's pretty powerful. It is. And I it actually teach me a lot. It made me understand more of me and how- it's not about me not only me. Everyone should know that about themselves. You can do whatever you want. You can do actually, you can do... You can accomplish whatever you put your mind through. So we are, we as humans, we are really, we have a really big power, and it's doing. So people sometimes are, "Oh, no, I'm..." Like as you said before, "I'm too old to do this," or, "I'm too old to paint," or I am too young to, I don't know, give a class." I don't know. Whatever is the- Whatever. Thing. If you really put your mind to it you can accomplish whatever you want. You just need to be yourself, put yourself out there, go through it. And I think really important also is your mentality about it. In the Army, for example, there were, like, some people that were complaining all the time, and I was thinking like, "I know it's hard. It is hard. I could complain, but I'm already here. Just change your mindset." You still need to be here, so just change your mindset- Yeah and just try to enjoy the experience, and try to make it beneficial for you. Like- if I'm already here, I'm going to try to do it correctly the best way I can, and it's going to help me improve, I don't know, physically or mentally or whatever the s- situation is. And I think that's not only the Army. It's every experience in life. Like- Sure the way things change the, the way you're going to experience it, but also the way it's going to enrich you in- each particular way the situation is. I have to ask this the right way. Did you get out of the experience what you thought you would get out of the experience, or was it completely different? It was completely different, but I was really surprised that I got so much out of it- for my personal growth. I feel it made me realize... and I realized that till a really good friend of mine, Paulo, he told me "David, you haven't even realized everything you put your mind through, like you really, you accomplish everything you decide." And even if all my friends said, "David, you, David, you're crazy. Why are you going to do that?" In Mexico we say there's a saying the callar bocas, like shut mouths. But it- it's- Yeah it- it's not like literal. It makes sense in Spanish. Sure. But like he, my friend was like telling me like he was so proud of me because I kept proving myself that I can do whatever I put my mind through. And I don't say it like, "Oh I'm sup- I'm so powerful." No, it's like it's because I have the right attitude, and I have the positive thinking and I don't do it like... I do it, but I do it with a conscience of community and making friends- and like realizing it's everything you do in life is easier if you have a, a, a at least one friend or a community to help you go through it. And sometimes people think they can do things by themself, and obviously everyone can, but if you just open yourself, as you said, and just do it as a team or, or- it's going to make the experience way easier and more, and ha- have your experience for yourself. I there's a term for it that I use that I've experienced through not only my own kind of process through personal development, but as a mindset and life strategy coach. I use it a lot, and it's that you need an accountability partner. 'Cause left to your own devices sometimes, and some people get super lazy and aren't being held accountable, right? This podcast- for instance, I talked about this podcast for three years before someone said to me, "Are you just going to launch it? 'Cause we're tired of hearing you talk about it." And it's 'cause I didn't have an accountability partner, right? I love my team. I surround myself with coaches and I call them my life squad and I have people that hold me to account not only in health but also in my business and my career. I've wanted to be a coach for the last decade, and I just launched my coaching practice earlier this year. I'm turning 60. So I am a firm believer in that accountability and also in, in that life exists through a network of conversations, right? If you... Your own internal monologue sometimes doesn't get you off the sofa. It can actually keep you on the sofa. But when you talk about it with someone else, and you have that person to cheer you on- They don't need to completely agree with you or completely understand why you're doing what you're doing, but to be there and to be supportive of you and to achieving those goals makes the process so much greater. Yes. And that's it. And even if you're not sure about the idea you, you have in mind of what to do- even if you start the conversation with someone about this slight idea you have about something, you're going to start talking about it, and you're going to realize what you actually really want to do or accomplish. So it's going to be easier even for you to realize- what you're trying to do or make. Yeah. And many people- So it's going to make it clearer for yourself. Yes. Yes, and many people get to the end of their life, unfortunately- and talk about regret. Yes. And talk about not making the decision or following through. You can't, you cannot say that, my friend and the little that I have known you and getting to know you, you cannot say that you have not taken on everything that you've set out to do, and I'm sure there's more. You and I could talk forever. I do have a couple final questions to ask you, and- you're always welcome to come back. I'm so glad that we met at that event. I- Me too. Me too. I'm happy am very drawn to your energy, and not only that, your creativity and what you're putting out into the world and having people reflect and see on to themselves is so incredibly powerful. What i- what do you hope to achieve, or what's your... Ask it a different way. What's the goal for you now having been through training? What do you want to do with that now career in the Army? Within my career in the Army I have a contract to fulfill. Yeah. So I will keep going- fulfilling this contract. And actually, I'm happy to fulfill it. Like I, I've, I was really afraid because I know I can get deployed. And my cousin is deployed right now, the one that- got me into the Army. Like he's deployed. He's in Jordan. And where he's at, like- a few days ago just unfortunately some soldiers died. Yes. Or I think four, two or four- Yeah soldiers died. Yeah. The... So obviously I'm I feel... i'm going to complete my contract. If I get deployed. I'm obviously slightly scared of that situation of getting deployed, but it is what it is, and I'm proud and honored to serve a country that has given me so many opportunities and that has got me till today has received me with open arms and with a lot of people that I'm really happy and honored to have met, and I, that I keep meeting, like yourself. And I'm just excited too. Like I'm not going to deny it. Like I'm also excited for, what the army has gave me in terms of points of view within my art because I have, many ideas of new pieces that I got inspired during training. That's also exciting. And yes. What's next for you in your art career, your art journey? What do you think is next for you? What's next? Right now I'm working on a, an exhibition that I'm going to have. I think it's going to be next year because I really want to take the time to create the correct meaningful pieces for that. In the meantime, I also- I'm going to do an exhibition at Design Within Reach. I think it's going to be September or October. I haven't confirmed date, the date yet. I'm starting also, right now I'm starting to do my own photography coffee table book. Nice. Yes. It's going to be called Testigos which means witness, witnesses. It's Testigos and it's a book of photography of people's eyes from all over the world. Oh, I love it. Yes. And behind every eye there's going to be a story written by the owner of the eye explaining- Oh, I love that what they have been witnesses in their life. So it's also a conversation starter. Like it's a book of different people's knowledge and what they have been witness and I love seeing eyes. So I think it's a really good book to read a different story every day and get to see different eyes. And I love that, that idea because there's... So eyes i- are so unique that there's, it's impossible to repeat one eye in, in a lifetime, like in- in, in all history. There's something so special about that, that they really are, without eyes, you, we couldn't be witnessing a- anything. So there's something really interesting about that narrative that I'm willing to explore doing- this coffee table book. And- Oh, can't wait to see it. Yes. And and yeah. And I'm open to, to see what, what else has in life for me. And we are very excited. I, in particular, am excited to see what comes next for you and what you create. As I delved into your work and your immense creativity, which is really extraordinary if you had advice for someone who may be sitting at home, maybe just getting out of high school, maybe just coming out- maybe trying to find themselves what's the one piece of advice that you would give that person from your experience and your perspective, who may be struggling to find that- that first step on their pathway? I would say even... Because if someone in high school, for example, How can I explain it in English? Just, and it's going to be cliche, just be yourself. Everything is- Do it in Spa- do it in Spanish it gets, it, it- We'll love it just as much, David. it gets better. Or for real, just be yourself. And if you don't like where you are or who you are with, remember this is your life. Th- there's only one. You only get one life in your lifetime. So- just if you don't like where you are, just change your situation. Like- don't try to make everyone change for you. You just need to be yourself. If there's something you don't like, change it for yourself. If go out and meet the r- right people for you. Meet, you can choose your family, too. Just surround yourself with people that's going to bring you positive things, and it's going to- add to your life, and not economically. I'm not talking economically. I'm talking about adding into your life friendship advice. M- if you're with people that's subtracting from you, get away. Run from that people- because you don't need people to take you down. You need people to raise you and a- and that you can be for them, too. I will say that. Embrace yourself. Love yourself. Learn to love yourself. And f- for you to love yourself, first you need to know who you are. So- try to explore that first. Try to know who you are, where you're going, and don't limit yourself. The world is limitless for real. Just go out and explore. I shared with you before we hit record about my being a Southern Californian and going to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico for the first time when I was 55, I think, which is crazy considering I live so close. However, when I was in Puerto Vallarta I went to a drag show with my friend Daryl. And the drag or performance artist was Mama Tits, and she is hilarious. Hilarious. And I loved the show. I was riveted. I was singing along. We were just going crazy. And at the very end of her show she made a comment that in that moment, David, changed the trajectory of my life. Really? And she said, "Surround yourself with people who celebrate you." Yes. And in the moment, it... Talk about goosebumps. It brought me to tears. Oh, I felt them. I also- Yeah really felt them Right? S- surround yourself with people who celebrate you. And it's so interesting because my mental kind of s- state at that moment turned on it and said, "Yeah, but isn't that a little conceited, right? That you're saying that we sur- surround ourselves with people who celebrate me." And I had the opportunity to have Brian, Mama Tits, as a guest on the podcast. And we talked about the statement. She goes, "It's not conceited at all. It doesn't mean that you're not going to not celebrate them, too. But if you surround yourself with people who celebrate you, and you celebrate each other, the world is limitless," right? Yes. And s- And you know what? Sometimes we forget that. And I'm talking about myself. I did forget that. I was, for 12 years, in different relationships where I totally forget that there's people that's going to celebrate you- and you don't need to be with people that's not going to do that. So- just remember for real, you need to surround yourself with people that's going to celebrate you 100%. You've got someone who celebrates you, 'cause I think you're amazing and I, I love the fact that we've met. The last thing you said on the intake form before my last question to you, was, "Redefining success as creating a life aligned with your values rather than external validation." Yes. And you have literally described that and defined that so well in this conversation. This has been a really amazing conversation, and I'm so grateful to you. You are welcome back any time, David. Thank you so much. When your book comes out, we're going to make sure people know how to follow you on social media. We're going to give them access to your website. I want people to take the time to learn more about you and your work and your passion and your creativ- creativity, and I am excited to see what comes next for you, not only in your identity as a soldier, but also in your identity as a creative and a change-maker in our community. Through our conversation today, the one thing that kept ringing through in the back of my mind was your presence and your energy and your cadence in how you speak is really remarkable and transformative. And so I encourage you to let go of the intimidation of your quietness and your introvertedness, and just go do you, as cliche as that sounds, as the title of my podcast. My last question to you is if you could go back to that little David in Mexico growing up amongst this exuberant and very lively family, what would you tell David about your life today? I will tell the little David that it doesn't matter what people think, says, or it doesn't matter what you think about other people will think or say. Just do yourself, be yourself 100%, because just hiding who you are, it's not going to take you anywhere. So it's just going to take you apart of finding yourself. So just embrace yourself and be 100% yourself Nothing left to say. I can't say it better myself. David, thank you for being here today, and thank you for spending some time with us, and I just, I really appreciate you I really do appreciate the invitation, and I'm, I will be happy to be here many times, and I'm really- Yeah, of course grateful for this friendship. Thank you so much. You as well. Thanks. We'll talk soon. Yes. All right, everyone. Thank you again for joining us on today's episode. I hope our conversation resonated with you like it did me, and I cannot wait to sit down with you all again next week. Remember to subscribe to the Just Do You podcast on your favorite platform so you can make sure not to miss a new episode, which drop every Thursday. If you like what you hear, you can easily share the podcast and episode directly with your friends. And if you would, rate us and leave us a review. We'd love to hear from you. You can also follow us on Instagram at justdoyoupod. As you go out back into the world today, remember to JUST DO YOU. All right. Talk next week.