EP 142 | Empowering You to Refuel Guilt Free and Have a Confident Recharge with Joy Coach Robin Shear

In this episode, host Lisa Tarkington sits down with Robin Shear, International Keynote Speaker, Joy Coach, and Bestselling Author, to talk about the transformative impact of prioritizing self-care and share their tips for finding and holding on to joy even when facing life's toughest challenges. 

Tune into this episode for an uplifting conversation about leading a more confident and joy-filled life!

Chapters:
0:00 Intro and Meet Guest Robin Shear

4:17 Recharging Depleted Givers

16:33 Prioritizing Self-Care for Joy and Confidence

23:36 Finding Joy and Overcoming Challenges

30:00 Recap and Key Takeaways

Sponsor Athletic Greens, click to order and receive a free gift! 

Our Guest, Robin Shear's information to connect:

• Linkedin
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Get Robin's Book "Messy Joy: How Joy Can Begin Before Your Difficulties End" on Amazon

More than just a podcast: 

• Subscribe to our YouTube Channel 
• Subscribe to our Newsletter 
• Apply to be coached by Lisa and receive a free call 
• Sponsor Athletic Greens, click to order and receive a free gift!
  
  

Transcript

Recharge and Become a Joy Coach

Robin 0:00

You know , respect me too . So I just stuck my hand out and said hey , my name is Robin and I don't love being invisible .

Lisa 0:08

I love you . Welcome to the Confident Podcast . I am Lisa Tarkington , your host of this podcast . If you found yourself hitting play on this podcast , it means it was meant for you . My goal is to help , empower and guide you to become a better version of yourself through conversation , advice and tips that are real , vulnerable and authentic . I am excited to have you join this journey with me . So let's get started . Hey everybody , welcome back to the Confident Podcast . I am your host , Lisa Tarkington , and as always , it's such an honor to be in this host seat . It's exciting to be talking about confidence , about self-love and all of the aspects of becoming the best version of yourself .

Lisa 0:50

2024 is underway and it's already been pretty exciting , I won't lie . It's been like pretty chill so far In the beginning of the year . I'm hoping that it sticks this way when this podcast goes live . I actually will be in New Zealand on my honeymoon and I cannot wait to tell you guys all about that experience I think I've shared already on this podcast , but if I haven't , a lot of people have words of the year .

Lisa 1:15

Maybe their word is ease or peace or confidence . Mine is discipline . So this year , my word is discipline , because I really want to make sure that I am prioritizing things . I mean discipline on my procrastination , and one thing that is really funny when I thought of this word was my husband . I was sharing it with him and he goes you are the most disciplined person I've ever met . And I started laughing . I said I think I am , in some aspects of my life , right , but overall there are certain things that I like to . I'll just do that tomorrow , I'll just do that tomorrow , and then that pile continues to happen . And I've been practicing this for the last couple of weeks and I will tell you , my house has never been cleaner , things have never been picked up more , and just like my inbox is even only have two things in my inbox right now , and I will tell you I ended the year with probably a hundred emails . So I'm really trying to practice this and I'm already seeing kind of like this weight lifted . So , whatever your word is for the year , even if you haven't picked one , I highly recommend just kind of setting the intention that you want for the year . It is so powerful and I cannot wait to continue to tell you guys all about how discipline has been part of my life .

Lisa 2:27

So with that , we are going to dive into today's episode , which is all about empowering you to refuel guilt free and to have a confident recharge , and I'm so excited to bring on a guest that's going to be talking about that with me , which is Robin Shear . Robin is an international keynote speaker , joy coach and bestselling author . I met Robin honestly , probably six months into 2023 . I was starting to dive more into becoming a speaker , and when you're starting something new , you're meeting new folks . You're kind of like okay , I need to find my people . I need to find people that I can relate to , that will mentor me , that will become my friend . And I will say , the minute I met Robin , it was . You know , when you get that feeling of like you're home , welcome home . I got that right away with Robin . And so , robin , thank you for coming on the , the number one podcast in my heart , the confident podcast . So I'd love if you would share a little bit about yourself with our audience .

Robin 3:27

Sure , oh , my gosh , thank you so much . I mean I knew that it would be a nice intro because I wrote it , but I didn't expect that other , that other piece . Oh , it's just , it's been a joy , you know , being your friend and and seeing you flourish into that public speaking space . And yeah , like you said , I'm a joy coach and I'm just on a mission to meet people wherever they find themselves , you know , in whatever circumstances they find themselves , and help them to understand how joy is possible now . And I have a public speaking platform of my own and I just I love to get out in front of groups of people who are normal , who are regular , real life people who have life that's even a little bit messy and and want to know how , and that's what . That's what I'm all about .

Lisa 4:11

I love that , and so I have to know , though , why joy coach Like what made you want

Recharging Depleted Givers

Lisa 4:17

to become that ?

Robin 4:17

Yeah , honestly , personal experience as I , as I knew that I was moving into life coaching and I took a look back on all of the ways that I had served up to that point , it felt kind of disjointed and and in some cases I sort of felt like I had failed . You know , like I didn't stick out one path very long and you know people will get a job and and stay for 30 years and I sort of meandered . But when I looked back on all those little pieces , the one thing , the thread that united all of it , was the impact that joy had on each of the populations that I had had the privilege of serving . So , and these were some people in some really tough situations and they weren't coming to me for joy and I didn't know that's what they were receiving either until , you know , one day in prayer , I realized this is what it's always been about . I see it , I know it . I'm going to share it .

Lisa 5:08

And I love that . That became clear to you , right ? So I think a lot of times we're all on this path of like I just want to know my purpose , I just want to know all of these things , and it takes time , and then it sounds like you had that moment . So when you had that moment , tell us about that .

Robin 5:22

I got to know I love .

Lisa 5:23

I love hearing the . Ah , I got it now , yeah it was .

Robin 5:26

It was in a moment in my sunroom and I was in coaching school . I'm certified by the International Coaching Federation and we are at a point where we had to decide what direction we were going to go with our coaching and all of my friends and colleagues knew exactly and I didn't , and and I felt kind of unsure and I and my word for the year is pray , and I know that a lot of my decisions aren't starting there and this was one that did . And as I was praying , I could just sense there was no doubt that it was about joy and the need for it in the world . And this was October of 2019 . And I remember in prayer , kind of saying to God are you kidding me ? Like nobody does that . I don't know anybody . Who's a joy coach ? That's not even a thing . Who's going to take this serious ?

Robin 6:15

And and I'd like to say you know I had this epiphany and I went off into the sunset , but it took a couple of months , so just kind of wrestling with whether or not it's legitimate and will it make a difference ? Can I take the stuff that I saw in practice and share it on an individual coaching level or from stage ? What is there to say about it ? It was kind of an untapped resource . So here we are .

Lisa 6:38

I love that , and I had no idea that you were an ICF coach . Yes , I love that you are , because I actually just took my exam a couple months ago and I passed and I share that because when , I meet other people that are ICF coaches . I'm always like thank you for spending all of those hours and practice and being ethical and learning that were because I did not know how , how much work it was gonna be .

Lisa 7:03

But it now is so important . Now when I look at coaches and I know when they're ICF trained , I'm like you are the best of the best Because of all the work that goes into it . I mean we have to submit an audio and a written exam . I remember taking my written exam first exam I've taken since college and I'm like I hope I pass because I knew all the information right . It's back to that exam and as a coach you teach a lot about mindset right , like always shifting . I did so much mindset work on that moment of my life because I knew that if I wanted to do something , I wanted to change lives , I was gonna have to shift my mindset to do that . And so it's fun when you get to coach yourself . It is .

Robin 7:41

I received a lot of coaching and I know that you did as well and you realized the value in it . And in my case , I mean as yours I wanted to know that what I was doing was going to help . I mean , people have said oh , you've been coaching all along , anyway , make it official . And that was my version of making it official .

Lisa 8:01

Our partner for today's podcast is AG1 , the daily foundational nutrition supplement that supports whole body health . I drink it literally every day and I gave it a try because I was someone who struggled with IBC and IBS , and I am here to tell you that this product has been a game changer to helping with my gut health , and I'm literally obsessed . I start every morning out with a scoop of AG1 and I use their on-to-go packets whenever I'm traveling . I just mix the powder into water and it makes it super easy for me . I have seen a big change in my health . Not only am I feeling better , but I'm having less sick days , more energy and even seeing some healthy weight loss . As someone who focuses on loving themselves , this product has been part of that journey . When I don't feel my best , I know that I'm not giving my best to my family , my friends , my coworkers and clients , and therefore AG1 is part of my daily routine to make sure that I am my best . Ag1 is raising the standard of quality in the supplement category , and now this is the only supplement that I take . So join me and let's give our bodies a little bit more self-love . If you wanna take ownership of your health , try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase . So let's go to drinkag1.com . Slash the confident Again . That's drinkag1.com the confident to get this promotion today .

Lisa 9:25

Okay , so today we're talking all about kind of getting that recharge , refueling yourself guilt-free and when I was thinking about this topic today and we had discussed it a little bit beforehand , a lot of people that are the ones struggling with refueling themselves especially guilt-free that's like the biggest word and recharging that confidence are people that are the givers . And when I say givers , I'm talking about the people that are service people that are giving to everybody . They might even be the moms of the world , and I'm just picturing the mom handing the dinners out to everybody and eating in the corner right , because you're continuously giving to people . And so when we use the word depleted giver , like what does that mean to you ? And so that people can kind of resonate with that .

Robin 10:08

I mean the depleted givers are the people that I love to interact with the most , because I have been one and I'd like to say I've only been one once , but we learned the things sometimes several times before those lessons take root . But that's the stuff that you can share from , and so that's why those are my people . But it is the people who care , who are raised to think of others first . They often work in religious settings or they're public servants of some kind .

Robin 10:37

A lot of healthcare professionals , like you said , parents , definitely , anybody who would put the needs of someone else before their own . These are people who they got that message and they should . This is a very good message , but so often they go so far as to just ignore their own needs because this is their priority . And I have to question , like , what does it say about our view of ourselves when we look at our own to-do lists ? And we're not even on the page ? So those are my people , because if they aren't reached , if they aren't recharged and refueled and if they don't have joy to give from , they are gonna burn out , they are gonna be depleted and they could leave their positions , they could leave their callings and go and serve in a way that isn't really how they were designed to serve .

Lisa 11:33

I love when you said if you're looking at your to-do list and you're not on it , that's like I'm gonna say the word red flag , red flag right there of having that awareness then to do something about it and so say someone is noticing that . And I've also would say , like depleted givers , struggle with joy sometimes too .

Robin 11:53

Oh , they do .

Lisa 11:54

And so what would you ? Someone that's struggling with that ? The assumption is is you're teaching this because you've been through this and so tell us , take us back to when that happened for you and how you got out of that .

Robin 12:06

For sure .

Robin 12:06

So the short version is I was working at a church , I was a youth director youth pastor , depending on the terminology and I loved it .

Robin 12:14

I couldn't get enough and I dove in to try to build a program and we started with a handful of kids and it was an exciting time of growth and I started making a list after a list after a list of all the things we wanted to do and all the different ways that we could grow a program , and I was thinking about it day and night and my phone was ringing off the hook constantly . It wasn't uncommon to get phone calls in the middle of the night when somebody died and a child , a teenager , needed someone to talk to or someone was struggling at Christmas time . My phone was always , always ringing and I embraced it because I was a giver . That was what I was born to do , and so many people warned me you've got to slow it down , you've got to take a break , you have to take care of yourself . I wish I had a dollar for every time I said the phrase I'm a giver .

Robin 13:08

Like you don't know me , thank you but I'm different , I'm different and I should have known from the start that what I was doing was like categorizing myself in a level that was untouchable and a level that was . You know , in a way there was a pride thing going on . You know , I prided myself on giving and being present and I was involved in the community and I was a leader and I was that person people went to and I started to notice that all these lists were hard to look at . I was like I would look at all these things , all these ideas , and I couldn't find any that I felt were possible . You know , I was looking for the low hanging fruit , you know , the easy stuff , because my own , my own ability was shrinking .

Robin 13:55

I didn't realize that that was what was going on and I started dreading those phone calls . I didn't know if I could help somebody . I was depleted and didn't want to admit it and I was afraid that this identity that I had built up , it was going to end , it was going to be gone . And I kept pushing , pushing , pushing , ignoring the warnings , until one day I pulled into the parking lot , that church , and I was about to get out of the car and I realized I had no business going in that building . I was so empty on the inside and so fake on the outside , smiling and encouraging people , all the while feeling like such a fraudulent human being , and I knew I had to take care of me .

Robin 14:41

It was about not being on my own list and about ignoring all that stuff and realizing dang it , they were right . I'm not different than anybody else , and neither are the people in my audiences . So I literally missed six weeks of work . I couldn't go in and I had to get professional help . I had to learn about what mattered to me , but also the fact that I was worthy and that's really what I dig into from stage is let's take a look at how we value our own worth . What do we bring to the table ? Is there value in it and why are we okay just blowing that off ? It's time to take a look at ourselves as people who matter and who contribute , and treating ourselves as such right People with needs . If I'm going to contribute , I'm going to meet my own needs so that I can continue to contribute , yeah and I appreciate you saying all of that as you were talking .

Lisa 15:40

I just related so much to all of that and I think a lot of people can right , we hear the people . So I always say and I was literally just talking about this with my husband last night because I was getting frustrated that sometimes when I tell someone something , they'll call me six months later and be like Lisa , I just started journaling . It's been the game changer . I'm like it's okay , I've just been saying that for six months .

Lisa 16:00

I've been curtsless forever , but they needed to figure it at that moment , and so it sounds like people had been telling you things right and you're like I'm not there yet , I'm not there , but then you got there right . But I want to point out that we never want for anybody that we work with to get to the point . I was on bed rest . At one point you had six weeks that you were taking off of work . That's not what we want for the givers of the world .

Lisa 16:26

That is not joy , that is not fun . That is the moment when you're like I have to start over . You literally feel like you're at the bottom , starting back

Prioritizing Self-Care for Joy and Confidence

Lisa 16:33

up . And so what would you say to someone that's probably listening to this , driving or maybe even multitasking or getting ready for the day , and they're like , oh my gosh , that's me . I can see myself maybe ending up that way and I don't want to Like . What would you say to them ? Check your list , mm .

Robin 16:52

Where are you and then what ? And then decide if you're okay with the answer . You know , be honest about it . Really , slow it down . You know , would you advise all of the people that you love so much and are giving so much to to be last on their list ? Would you be okay with that ? You know the patients that you serve , the students in your class from your kids ? Of course not , yep . So you know , apply that . Even if you don't want to , and even if you're only doing it because Robin and Lisa are making you know what , do it anyway and just put yourself back on that list .

Robin 17:30

Think about what you need , because joy begins with recognizing I have needs and I'm in a position to meet the things . Yes , you know , like so often , we wait for someone to swoop in , especially the givers , because they're the ones doing all the swooping . So surely when we're depleted , someone's going to swoop in and save the day for us . Yes , and then we wait and here we are . Then we're , you know , upset with the people in our world for not noticing that we're in need . It's not their job . And when we meet our own needs , whatever they are , there's joy in meeting them . It's like you recognize that I have value by checking in and asking the question what do I need ? And when I do something about it , it's automatically going to help you to recognize that you're someone that matters and you're going to do something about it .

Lisa 18:19

Yeah , and I think that that couldn't be more true , right , it's like check that list , notice if you're on it , and then what are you going to do about it ? And that kind of goes back to you said self-worth . Yes , I always say the word self-respect . Okay , like it's good , like worth is so important , respecting yourself is so important , right , you know , as givers , I can picture everybody getting those phone calls helping everybody out like you and I have probably for many years and then needing that , needing to be that one that needs to call two , and like if someone , if you were to call someone today and they were going to give you advice on what to do , you already know the answer , right , like you already know . Hey , you know , I need to say no to this , I need to say yes to myself and I would challenge everybody too , to think about , you know , when you're thinking about how to recharge , like what excites you , what brings you joy .

Robin 19:14

Like how many ?

Lisa 19:15

times have we actually think in a day oh , what brings me joy , what brings me alive ? Right , and it's ironic that we're even talking about this . I did a speaking engagement last night and that was the one thing one of the girls wrote down is like we had them do a journal opportunity and one of them said I wrote down all the things that bring me alive . And as she's talking about it , she gets very theatrical and I said to her do you even realize that you just moved up a level right , and it was all because she took a moment . She took a moment to look at her list that brings her life . And then the biggest thing I told her now is now , what are you going to do about it Exactly ?

Robin 19:54

Yeah , a list is one thing , but putting that list into practice is another . And so often the depleted givers of the world have great intentions and they'll make that list and then , when they try , they feel guilty . Right , that voice comes in that says you shouldn't , because all of these needs around the world haven't been met . What right do you have ? Yeah , you know who do you think you are going for a walk when there's a war going on ? Or you know the list is so long , right , but the list will always be long .

Robin 20:24

Yeah and we will have needs that need to be met and when we feel guilty about trying to do that , we need to stop in that moment and ask that guilt . A simple question . And the question is am I doing something wrong ? Because , guilt is a really beautiful emotion that's tied with wrongdoing .

Robin 20:45

There is a purpose . Guilt is designed to stop us from doing something that we shouldn't . You know . So the example I like to share is you know , if you're speeding through a red light and you feel guilty , guilt was appropriate . But if you are taking a five minute break at two o'clock because you checked in and that's what you need , and then you start feeling guilty and you say , am I doing something wrong ? And there's nothing wrong , Then you need to tell guilt where to go . Guilt shows up when it doesn't belong and we allow it to speak so inappropriately sometimes .

Lisa 21:18

Yes , we definitely do . And so when we think about joy and you think about confidence and having that recharge to like , what would you say ? When you think of joy and how that helps you have your confidence recharge , like , how do those go together ?

Robin 21:32

Oh , it goes together so beautifully because it's . It's hard to go after things of joy and not feel more confident as a result , and it doesn't have to be a big flashy thing , right ? Yeah , I'll share a quick story , so you know , as we're talking about self-respect and worth and meeting our needs and stuff . So just a couple of days ago , my husband and I were looking at a new truck and my husband had been talking to the sales guy before we arrived , and so when we got there , the sales guy greeted him by name and , hey , like here's the truck and I'm standing right there , and the guy never acknowledged my presence . It was only maybe a two or three minute period , but I was standing there thinking , am I okay with this ?

Robin 22:12

You know I'm checking in . What do I need ? I need to be a part of this conversation . I have worth , you know . Respect me too . So I just stuck my hand out and said hey , my name is Robin and I don't love being invisible . I love you . The poor kid . He was like 25 and he apologized and he probably called me by name 10 more times in the course of our conversation and he learned a lesson . But I felt so much more confident . Lisa . I could have flown out of there and it was a simple , totally free , didn't take any time or money , but I felt like I had worth . I was way more confident after that little moment .

Lisa 22:52

I am so proud of you for doing that and I also know , like , even like , listen to your voice . It's . It's not a , it's not a direct , it's not anything , it's just a calming like hey , this is what I need in this moment . Yeah , and I think it's also um an acknowledgement to the next person .

Robin 23:06

Right Like .

Lisa 23:07

Oh , okay , I will not do that again .

Robin 23:08

That's my hope .

Lisa 23:09

And in the hope is is like too that that he will now see everybody right .

Robin 23:15

He will .

Lisa 23:15

And in that moment , what two minutes ? Right , that's all it was . It's two minutes , but now it's a lesson that someone will learn and you learned it's . It's like actually a lot of people learned throughout that whole process and , um , I think to your point , like you have , like you know , taking you back to those six weeks that you were um , that , that break that you needed , where you had to do the work

Finding Joy and Overcoming Challenges

Lisa 23:36

again . Like I know for myself , confidence and joy is has its peaks and valleys , right , there are days where I'm on top of this mountain .

Lisa 23:45

I'm climbing up this like thing , even if it's like muddy like , but I'm not sliding down , I'm getting at the top , and there's other times where that mountain just looks like so big . How am I going to get to the top to have joy and so share a little bit about your experience with your peaks and valleys , because you know we get to see you now ? Yeah , right , like we get to see Robin , who's joyful , who's a joy coach . But I know that that just didn't happen overnight ?

Robin 24:10

Oh no , and you know I have the same list in my bathroom that I advise all of my clients to have . You know , like I call it a joy bucket list , what goes into your joy bucket , what overflows you , so that you have all this to share . And I have it in my face for a reason because life is so busy all the time , it's so easy to not make it onto your own list , and so I'm mindful of it . I think it's really about being mindful , it's about being reminded and so , yeah , there are days when I need those reminders and you know , sometimes it's quiet , it sneaks in , I don't realize that I'm in a funk , and then other days , like something bad happens . You know , a whole bunch of people die , and of course you're going to feel awful on that day and joy isn't around and so .

Robin 24:53

But it can happen any way in between , and it's a matter of meeting your needs in the moment . You know , when you're grieving , you just need to grieve sometimes , and you know . But when that process has moved forward , you know how then do I get back to a place of joy ? By being reminded of what brought me joy in the first place and seeing , like , when is the last time I like prayed , if that's on my list , am I doing the things that I say are important to me ? And if not , maybe I could take a break right then and there and just dip into that .

Lisa 25:29

I love that and I think it's just . It's kind of going back to we're never gonna have it all figured out right ?

Robin 25:36

No , I wish we did .

Lisa 25:39

And the more that we put ourselves on that list , the more that we get back up I think too right Getting back up taking care of ourselves the easier it's gonna get the next time . So if you keep sliding down to the bottom every time , I mean imagine if you had those six weeks again . Right , like you don't wanna go back to those moments . So you have to do the work so that you don't go back to that .

Lisa 26:00

And I always tell myself like I never want . I was on that bed rest for one week years ago when I was at my moment and I was negative . Nancy , I was that girl that you did not want to be around because I was like , not joyful , and I remember that so vividly because I lost a lot of great friendships then and just I had to relearn a lot and I share that because I never wanna go back to that . So if you don't do these joy moments , if I don't add these things into my life , I will be that person again and that's not who I am this is prevention .

Robin 26:33

It really is . Anybody with any kind of illness that could have been prevented will tell you do whatever you can do to prevent this , whatever thing it is . And those moments are exactly the same , right . I mean , we can't avoid them completely . Life is gonna be up and down .

Robin 26:49

I went in one time to our local newspaper office and they said what's it like being the face of joy and never having a bad day ? And I was like let's talk , dude . I mean that's just not realistic . And so we need to know that from the start . But we also need to know that these things ebb and flow and that we can do the steps right . And sometimes it is just as simple as a five minute joy break Know what brings you joy in the first place .

Robin 27:15

And the depleted givers that I work with so often don't even know right . Like all they know is giving is their source of joy . But there have to be other things . The longer the list the better , because there are gonna be times when those things don't speak to you and you need options and it can be hard to come up with those options . But do the work , give it time . I actually have a list like kind of a jumpstart little kit , if you will , just to get people to think about these things , and it's a list of 10 unexpected joys , things that might trigger something in you and if they don't , they might trigger something else that's similar , that you might not have written on your list . So I give that away to all of my audiences because , if nothing else , like , let's get a starting point and let's go from there .

Robin 28:00

So , start with giving if that's your thing and add to your list . But yeah , that's over at joytotheworldcoachingcom .

Lisa 28:06

Awesome slash joy list , and we'll definitely share that as well , cause I think when you were talking about joy , what was coming to my mind too was when's the last time I belly laughed and when . I can think of that moment where , like it's that uncontrollable laugh . And there was this moment about two years ago . I mean definitely have had some belly laughs since then , but we were playing pickleball and it was me and my husband , my fiance at the time just learning right . We were the youngest ones and I have never laughed because we were learning right and we were having fun and we were playing . Play Like right . We were playing .

Lisa 28:41

We got to be completely like I wasn't Lisa Tarkington of X company , I was just me . I wasn't having to serve anybody , I just got to be in the moment and I think , being present , and I didn't feel guilty , to your point , like that guilt back to asking yourself well , what did you do wrong or anything like that , like those things creep up , but in that moment nothing else mattered . And so , thinking about joy , it's also about thinking what brings me to be fully present , that all of the distractions of the world kind of go to the wayside for a little bit , because that is when I find pure joy , sometimes Like , don't get me wrong , I have so much joy in my job and my career . But those are the things that , like I remember is like oh yeah , I remember at work when I was joyful , we were high fiving each other . We were like oh yeah , let's go do this as a team .

Lisa 29:31

In my personal life , same things right , like finding those joys and those little moments . And what you said about the five minutes really sticks with me , because that's what I teach all the time is like I'm not asking you to take three hours out of your day to find joy . If you can , that'd be awesome , but that's not really easy for a lot of people that are busy and the givers right . So , robin , to kind of wrap up today , what is your like final piece of advice or tools that you would give to our audience ?

Robin 29:57

Yeah , I think the bottom line is to consider how your own needs line up on your priority list as you think about how you wanna spend your day . You know , just focus on this day . Just enough light for the step I'm on . Right , let's just dig into today . Take a look at where you are on your list and how you can move up a little bit , even if it's five minutes and , by the way , studies back that that's enough , so we don't have to go too crazy and then implement that and don't stop there , though . Like , let's say , you , you add something for five minutes . Maybe it's , you know , turning on music from your high school days and dancing around the kitchen and you feel great . The next step is tell somebody about it .

Lisa 30:47

Because chances are .

Robin 30:48

There's somebody else that needs to hear that message and you have just reinforced I did this thing and it was good for me and it felt good , and I always say it feels good to feel good . We need to do that without feeling guilty . So do that thing , share it with somebody else , cement that that was a good move until you've kind of got those new neural pathways going in your brain that prefer that route over this guilty route . But it's a muscle that you're strengthening , so expect that it will come and go and be easier and harder on certain days and that you're worth it . Do the work .

Lisa 31:19

You are worth it and that is so true . And so some key takeaways that I just took from our conversation . Today is , when you're feeling that guilt and you need that recharge , ask yourself like , well , what am I doing wrong ? And if you're not doing anything wrong , take that moment . Another one is put yourself on the list . So today , when you get your to-do list out , or your week to-do list , I want you to add your name .

Lisa 31:42

And the other one is is there are going to be peaks and valleys in your life . There are going to be moments where you might be struggling , but it's about picking yourself up , adding that joy into your life and knowing that you are worth it , because we each are worthy of having joy in our lives , having confidence and living our best life . So , robin , thank you so much for coming on today's podcast . Thank you for having me . I did want to share that Robin has a book , so if you want to grab that book and show everybody , I knew we'd forget it yes , so go ahead and tell us a little bit about this book .

Robin 32:13

Yeah , I mean , the book is written for real people who have messy lives and want joy anyway , and so it's called Messy Joy . It's on Amazon and everywhere books are sold , but basically it's a collection of real life moments that hurt and where joy was found , and there are over 200 journal questions scattered throughout the book . Readers can really learn about their own relationship with joy and learn about the step by steps . You know where am I at and what am I going to do about it .

Lisa 32:40

That's , it's all in the book Amazing , and we'll add that into the description of the podcast

Spreading Love on Confident Podcast

Lisa 32:44

as well . So thank you again for being on and to everybody listening in or watching us . Continue to spread love and kindness to everybody that you meet and go recharge yourself to have confidence and a joyful life , thank you . Thank you for tuning into the Confident Podcast . If you enjoyed today's episode , don't forget to subscribe , leave a review , follow the Confident Podcast on Instagram and TikTok and share it with those who might benefit . Also , if you were looking to work one-on-one with me , message and follow me on Instagram at Lisa Tarkington official . Stay confident , stay inspired and until next time , keep striving to be the best version of yourself . Take care .