Me and We
In the “Me & We” podcast, we learn to develop our “me” as we influence our “we”. How do we have less suffering and more fun in whatever situation we find ourselves in? How do we take action based on our values? Can we be who we are with more ease? Hosts Bonnie Macbride and Mallika Bush share frames and tools with real-life examples, offering this podcast to help you access your life energy, make use of your emotions, and find more satisfaction in your life and relationships.
In season one, you will learn the 9 building blocks that Bonnie Macbride has developed. These frames and tools can be applied to every context through relationships, with a particular focus on primary, intimate partnerships.
Me and We
#32 - Building Block 9: Claiming Truth and Self-Authority
Claiming something means we own it, even if it might not be true. The power in knowing "truth" helps us assert to ourselves internally (and possible to other's). We can develop a trust in ourselves when we have the ability to "claim truth," even if we are not in a position of authority. With the goal of less suffering, and getting back on the horse, it can be so helpful to develop trust and confidence in oneself to see the truth.
With this step, we really shift off "right" and "wrong" dynamic, to looking and listening for truth and skills . . . COMPARING. Sorting and comparing parts of ourselves or looking at differences between us with others. Claiming helps us not collapse into shame, but hold that ability to see the differences as useful.
- who has what resources
- who sees things differently than we do (and holding it as wisdom)
- who's stuff/distortion is showing up - is this my shame/defenses or yours?
Mallika shares about her own comparing in her marriage. How she used to compare and suffer around the differences. Mallika made a shift, to claiming and self-authority. Mallika shares how she uses comparing now, her husbands skills and her own different skills, to lead their "we" to use all the skills and truth everyone brings to the table.
Bonnie shares the skills that she sees in her partner, and that she really may never catch up to his skill level in those areas. She claims a knowing within her marriage that allows her to experiment within that "we." She sees how their resources are difference, where their energy is and what needs they have.
Resources, Energy, Needs - When we pay attention to these key differences, we can compare and compete together. And we can see what we need to attend to? AKA seeing truth, claiming authority and getting common goals done.
Mallika shares here that her husband is good at seeing who's stuff belongs to who. Comparing without out shame. He is good at seeing who's got resources and energy. And she has learned from him and grown in her own ability in this department.
Bonnie points out how Mallika's husband might be tracking more of the independent self/needs and Mallika herself may be paying more attention to the dependent self/needs. Mallika may have more energy for listening for, and responding to, needs.
How do we own where we are while also working towards living our values?
How do we let go of the "right/wrong" and move towards seeing truth, claiming and look towards the future?
Bonnie's book is available in paperback!
"Me And We: Finding Your Voice and Influencing Relational Interactions"
Send us your questions! Email them to meandwepodcast@gmail.com
Find out more about our work:
Bonnie's Website: bonniemacbride.com
Mallika's Website: rootedrelationships.com
Thank you to Jessica Carson Chen for the music for the show.
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Thank you to Positron Productions for producing and editing the show.