My Spiritual Journey

Rebirthing & Kundalini Experiences - Episode 3

February 02, 2024 Geoff Season 1 Episode 3
Rebirthing & Kundalini Experiences - Episode 3
My Spiritual Journey
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My Spiritual Journey
Rebirthing & Kundalini Experiences - Episode 3
Feb 02, 2024 Season 1 Episode 3
Geoff

Welcome to the third episode of “My Spiritual Journey,” where we dive deep into two profound spiritual experiences that left an indelible mark on my life.
First, I'll take you through a powerful emotional cleansing that traces back to my conception, inherited from my mother. You'll be captivated by the intricate details of how I harnessed a spontaneous yogic position to unlock and expel this negative energy, followed by a journey back into my mother's womb, revealing a peace and serenity like no other.
Then, brace yourself for the eruption of the Kundalini energy, a transformative event that had profound effects on those around me. Get ready for mind-stretching spiritual encounters, though a word of caution: this episode contains some sexual content due to the potency of the Kundalini.
In our upcoming fourth episode, “My Trips to India,” my spiritual journey takes an even more exhilarating turn as I embrace my physical spiritual teacher and share spiritual realisations and events from my 16 transformative trips.
Thanks for joining me on this spiritual odyssey, and don't forget to subscribe for notifications of future episodes. Your journey into the mysteries of spirituality is just beginning!

 Questions or comments. Contact GEOFF — EMAIL — LivingSpiritually101@gmail.com. 

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Show Notes Transcript

Welcome to the third episode of “My Spiritual Journey,” where we dive deep into two profound spiritual experiences that left an indelible mark on my life.
First, I'll take you through a powerful emotional cleansing that traces back to my conception, inherited from my mother. You'll be captivated by the intricate details of how I harnessed a spontaneous yogic position to unlock and expel this negative energy, followed by a journey back into my mother's womb, revealing a peace and serenity like no other.
Then, brace yourself for the eruption of the Kundalini energy, a transformative event that had profound effects on those around me. Get ready for mind-stretching spiritual encounters, though a word of caution: this episode contains some sexual content due to the potency of the Kundalini.
In our upcoming fourth episode, “My Trips to India,” my spiritual journey takes an even more exhilarating turn as I embrace my physical spiritual teacher and share spiritual realisations and events from my 16 transformative trips.
Thanks for joining me on this spiritual odyssey, and don't forget to subscribe for notifications of future episodes. Your journey into the mysteries of spirituality is just beginning!

 Questions or comments. Contact GEOFF — EMAIL — LivingSpiritually101@gmail.com. 

Support the Show.

REBIRTHING & KUNDALINI EXPERIENCES 

Thank you for joining me once again on this transformative journey of spirituality and self discovery. In this, the third episode, I will share a profound rebirth in the experience that was preparing me for the most powerful event of my spiritual journey, the rising of the Kundalini. I need to issue a warning, this episode contains sexual content as a result of the immense power of the Kundalini. Please exercise discretion while watching.

 Following The Dark Knight of the Soul, described in the second chapter of my spiritual journey, a significant turning point occurred with the birth of my first daughter. We did name her after the name we were given during the ritual in the previous episode of The Dark Knight of the Soul.

Meanwhile, I decided to turn my passion for plants into a business venture. Embarking on journeys to Asia and collecting plants from the mountains of Borneo and Sumatra. 

While continuing my spiritual exploration through books, I found myself drawn to the profound writings of Alice Bailey. These books provided comprehensive insights, although challenging to grasp fully, given my state of consciousness at the time, they were clearly aimed at individuals with a more intellectual inclination.

Seeking further guidance, I attended talks by various travelling spiritual teachers. Including an Indian guru passing through my town, however, I couldn't establish a spiritual connection with any of them. I think this was a subconscious awareness that my physical spiritual teacher would soon enter my life.

 Then, one day, my mother paid us a visit and gave me a book about a holy man in India who possessed the power to manifest objects and perform miracles. This immediately harmonised with my interests. I delved into the book and had my first dream about the holy man while reading it. In the dream, my daughter and I sat before him, and she had a severe coughing attack. He swiftly placed his hand on her chest, soothing her considerably. He explained that the issue lay within her name. Little did I know that this dream marked the beginning of countless dreams involving my future spiritual teacher, lasting over the next three decades.

Driven by curiosity, I immersed myself into reading all the available books about him. Although I maintained a healthy level of scepticism towards spiritual teachers and gurus, previous encounters had left me unimpressed, and I believed that only an exceptional individual could capture my attention. As the saying goes, when the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear. However, I didn't visit India until seven years later, as I will discuss in the following My trips to India.

 During this period, my second daughter was born, and despite her young age of only six months, we decided to relocate 6, 000 kilometers north to a warmer climate to support our growing business. 

An intriguing synchronicity unfolded as a client suggested that we move closer to him, leading us to acquire a property on the same street where he resided. A perfect match for our needs. Remarkably, our house in my hometown sold within two weeks of being on the market, and everything seemed to align effortlessly during this time of transition. 

As the nursery flourished, my friend, who had been purchasing plants from us, experienced the dissolution of his marriage, and a period of uncertainty in his life. At that juncture, I proposed that he join forces with me, a decision that he ultimately embraced. 

One pivotal day, while perusing the extensive collection of my spiritual books I had accumulated over the years, my friend questioned their purpose. In response, I offered him a profound insight saying, If you truly want to know, I will tell you, but be prepared for your life to be forever changed. Little did we know the profound impact these words would hold, especially when my Kundalini finally erupted, unleashing its tremendous power upon him as well. 

After immersing myself in reading everything I could find about the Indian holy man, I learned that he had centres worldwide. I decided to attend one of these centres close to my location. To my surprise, approximately 200 people gathered for the Thursday night meeting. As I took my place among the attendees, an overwhelming force was compelling me to stand up and sit in the holy man's chair at the front of the room. This chair symbolised his presence and was adorned in his honour. The force was so strong I had to reach down and grip the sides of my chair tightly. Resisting the urge to stand up, I was terrified and wondered how it would appear. If a newcomer like me were to stand up and sit in his chair, who would believe what I was experiencing. After a few intense minutes, the impulse subsided. I continued attending these sessions regularly over the next two months. In a dream, my future teacher instructed me to bend down and look underneath the meeting hall, which I discovered was built on massive logs. To my surprise, I found the logs were slowly burning. I shared this dream with the head of the centre, but he seemed uninterested. A few months later, internal disputes caused the centre to collapse and split into two.

During this time, a conflict arose within me, as my spiritual and physical aspects seemed at odds. Looking back, I realised that my spiritual consciousness was rapidly expanding, and my business was also expanding at the same rate. However, this expansion resulted in all the generated money being reinvested in the business, which took a toll on my marriage, which eventually ended.

Despite the end of my marriage, we mutually agreed that we would continue to work on the property. I was determined not to abandon my wife and two children, until I was confident they were secure on their own. A few months later, her father passed away, leaving her with an inheritance which eventually allowed me to move forward.

Another pivotal moment occurred when my mother visited and handed me a bus ticket. I was taken aback and questioned her about the ticket. She explained that she had enrolled me in a four-day self development course, having recently completed it herself and believing it would benefit me. Initially, I felt resistant and surprised by her decision to purchase a ticket without consulting me. However, something inside me compelled me to accept it, and during the bus ride, I made a conscious decision to fully embrace the experience. 

The journey took seven hours, and upon arrival I was greeted by the course facilitator. We drove for about 45 minutes to his riverfront property, where the course would take place.

The group consisted of ten individuals, all seeking to understand the origins of our major difficulties and learn how to address them, most of which stemmed from parental conditioning. On the second day of the course, I started feeling an increasing pressure building up within me. As the day progressed Emotionally, I felt unsettled, and the pressure continued to intensify. As the day ended, I approached the cause facilitator and told him, I was going to explode. There is something inside me trying to come out. In response, he placed me in the centre of the room, instructed me to close my eyes and visualise a wall, the barrier preventing me from breaking through. What I saw was a clear plastic curtain that was shredded and blowing in the breeze. 

That night I could not sleep, due to the overwhelming pressure. Seeking peace, I ventured outside and sat alone in front of the fire. As I sat there, profound realisations about myself and my conditioned self's use of negative power flooded my awareness. I remained in front of the fire, diligently documenting my newfound insights, page after page, until well after 3am.

Finally, exhaustion compelled me to retire to bed. The following morning, everyone in the group appeared exhausted, drained, and worn out. One participant shared that she couldn't sleep due to an intense happening, while another described tossing and turning all night, waking up with his body completely turned entirely around in his bed. It seemed that no one had slept well that night. I believe that the energy I was exuding at the time influenced everybody.

On the third day of the course, as we all sat together on beanbags, my hands, and feet began to curl inward. I felt hot energy surging up my legs and arms, causing me to lean back in my seat. I had no understanding of what was transpiring, I was immobilised. Someone inquired about my condition, and the course facilitator explained that I was removing a blockage. 

As I laid there observing the unfolding events. suddenly, waves of darkness washed over me. These waves continued, one after the other, each accompanied by physical convulsions, anger, hatred, aggression, and nausea. These intense feelings welled up and left me with each wave. I asked in my mind what was happening to me, and a voice replied, you are feeling your mother's orgasm at the moment of your conception, and releasing her negative energy. I couldn't determine the duration of this experience, but it was some minutes.

As the waves subsided, I was a fetus within my mother's womb. I could see my mother's blood vessels within her skin, and the diffused light passing through her skin, and even my tiny hands. I experienced an overwhelming sense of peace, tranquillity, and security. An indescribable serenity washed over me. All I desired was to remain in that state and allow the tranquillity to permeate every fibre of my being. In my entire life, I've never felt anything close to this peace. 

Then suddenly, I found myself standing atop a high hill, surrounded by a picturesque landscape. The sun shone brightly, and a gentle wind caressed my skin, as I stood amidst a field of vibrant flowers. It was at this moment that a loud, resounding voice interrupted my idyllic state, offering to restore everything back to how it was if I wanted. And then before me, a log cabin began to materialise, one enormous log at a time. I screamed in my mind, no, F off. I resisted the cabin's construction, fearing that it would rob me of the freedom and profound sense of peace I was experiencing. Unfortunately, that log cabin was built.

What I had just experienced had emptied me of all negative energy, all the way back to my pre-birth state. I was about 32 years old, and over the next 39 years of living, all of my life's experiences rebuilt that cabin. There was no way of avoiding this. As I returned to a state of normalcy, a fellow participant referred to what I had undergone as a spiritual rebirth. She mentioned that she had heard of rare cases where individuals rebirthed back into the womb.

This revelation shed light on the unique physical experiences I had encountered. The curling of my hands and feet were in spontaneous yogic positions. Which stopped the energy from leaving my body and trapping everything within it, while the rising heat in my limbs was the result of this energy building which preceded the release.

The final day of the course arrived and after lunch a young woman enrolled in the course drove me to the bus depot. We departed slightly later than planned, embarking on a 45-minute drive along small rural dirt roads. To my concern, we found ourselves following an elderly couple, meandering along at a mere 30 kilometers an hour, worried about missing my bus. I silently wished for the couple to either accelerate or pull over, allowing us to pass. As this thought crossed my mind, my attention was drawn to the rear left tire of their car, which instantly blew out, forcing them to pull over. Was this a mere coincidence? I don't think it was. Such experiences continued to unfold later in this episode.

Upon returning home, I sought my mother and initiated a candid conversation with her. I confronted her about having an orgasm with my father at the moment of my conception, fuelled by anger, hatred, and aggression towards him. It was perhaps the first time I'd ever witnessed my mother being rendered speechless. Her expression spoke volumes, though, even though she neither confirmed nor rejected my statement. It's not every day that a son visits, and poses such probing questions about his mother's intimate life. 

Throughout these episodes, I have been cautious about divulging personal information about others, focusing primarily on my experiences. However, there is a compelling reason to share the events that led to such an intense conception. Both my parents have since passed away, which lessens the impact of revealing these details.

Eighteen years later, when I was fifty years old, my sister called with the news that demanded my undivided attention. She had been contacted by a woman claiming to be our sister. Needless to say, I was taken aback and grateful to be sitting down when I received this news. It unfolded that our mother, father, and his cousin had all lived together before my birth. During that time, my mother had an affair with my father's cousin and became pregnant as a result. My father compelled my mother to give up the newborn girl for adoption, and I was born eleven months later. We were all unaware of this family secret. The revelation of this long-lost sister left us astounded, and we eventually met her. She presented us with a copy of a birth certificate signed by my father. Our father carried this secret to his grave, never disclosing it to anyone. In an unexpected twist, my sister and our newfound sister, or rather half sister, decided to undergo a DNA test to dispel any lingering doubts. The results revealed that our newfound sister was, in fact, our full sister. It turned out that my father had unwittingly adopted out his own daughter. My mother passed away before the test could be completed. How ironic the unfolding of life's mysteries can be.

Now let us return to the ongoing narrative. My business partner also expressed great interest in taking the self development course and eventually enrolled for a two-week program several weeks later. During my business partner's two-week course, he developed feelings for a girl from my hometown. Meanwhile, I had reconnected with an old acquaintance and we both felt it would be great to visit them. 

After travelling 2, 000 kilometers. We checked into a motel and went our separate ways for a few days. My partner had also planned to see a Clairvoyant he had heard about during his course. The morning that we were preparing to depart, my business partner shared with me the Clairvoyant's warning.

The Clairvoyant had cautioned him to be alert on our return journey, foretelling that things were going to happen. Although the specifics remained unknown, little did we know that these events would soon start to unfold. About 80 kilometers outside of town. I found myself in thoughts about my recent meeting with my new lady friend. Suddenly, in my mind, my future teacher's face superimposed itself upon hers. At the same moment, my business partner burst into tears. He was so overwhelmed that he couldn't continue driving, and had to pull over. I asked him what had happened, and he explained that he witnessed the development of clouds forming in his mind as we drove. Within those clouds, he observed a glowing light, similar to the moon shining through the night clouds, but the source remained hidden. He felt an overwhelming sense that this was his true home, his origin, his source. And yet, he couldn't see the source itself. This was very similar to my experience during the Dark Night of the Soul ritual.

As we continued our drive, we engaged in discussions on spiritual subjects. After approximately six to seven hours, a shift occurred within my consciousness. Knowledge began to flood out of me, seemingly without restraint. I spoke about why we are here, what we needed to learn, and much, much more. My business partner, with his mouth agape, asked, Who are you? And without hesitation, I responded, I am God. However, the moment those words left my lips, I was engulfed in an overwhelming rush of sheer absolute terror. Never had I experienced such potent negative emotional energy. I realised that it was my conditioned self, my personality, or ego, reacting to the spiritual energy flowing through me. It was aware that its very existence was being threatened. This topic will be further explored in a future episode, as there is much, much more to understand. Eventually, the negative energy subsided, and I felt an unusual state of calmness, peace, and immense power, all at the same time. I closed my eyes and immediately found myself out of my body, hovering approximately 200 meters above the car. Looking down, I noticed a large ball of white electricity moving along the road, completely enveloping the entire car. 

As we continued driving, I received more and more information. We eventually stopped for fuel and a meal at a roadhouse. Inside, there were about 50 people dining, conversing and generating the usual commotion associated with a meal. As we entered, everyone, I mean everyone, abruptly ceased their activities and simply stared at us. The silence was so profound that one could hear a pin drop. This unexpected and unsettling reaction lasted for some seconds, before everything suddenly returned to normal, although it left me shaken. This pales in comparison to what would transpire a few hours later.

With approximately 100 km remaining in our journey to Sydney, we decided to stay at a motel. We were exhausted, and the time was 1am. We settled for the only available room left, which only had a double bed. Once again, the universe arranges everything as it should be. As I lay in bed, I began to feel an inexplicable sense of unease again. My mind began racing, and it was going faster and faster, uncertain about what was happening. Worry began to set in. Eventually, I had reached a point where I could no longer contain this racing mind. So I rolled onto my back, crossed my arms over my chest, and crossed my feet as well, assuming the death position. Then, closing my eyes, I completely surrendered to what was happening. I was abruptly ripped out of my body and was soaring through the air, approximately 500 meters or so above the ground. I was accelerating faster and faster, while the world beneath me spun with increasing speed. Beside me, I heard my business partner sobbing, and I reassured him to relax and not resist the experience. Instantly, I was back in the air, soaring above the earth. Realising that I had no control, I completely relaxed and surrendered to the energy. The best way to explain it is. I shifted into warp drive, and the next thing I knew, I found myself suspended in the centre of the universe. A stream of golden energy, about 60 centimetres in diameter, coursed through my body. Flowing into my feet and exiting through the top of my head. As far as my eyes could perceive, this energy snaked its way through the universe. I could feel a gentle swaying of my body as the energy passed through me. I could also hear a crackling sound reminiscent of electricity coursing through high-tension power lines. 

Gradually, I returned to my normal self. Turning to my business partner. I inquired about his experience. He revealed that while he was lying there, he felt a cold energy emanating from me. The intensity was such that he physically felt its pressure pushing against him. Then a voice in his head screamed at him to leave the room, immediately. To run. Go. Because I was going to do all sorts of terrible things to him, which I won't describe here. Attempting to flee, he found himself completely frozen in place by this energy. He couldn't move a muscle, and he went into an instant panic. It was at that moment that he heard my calming words, instructing him to relax, surrender and go with the flow.

In his mind's eye, he saw a circuit board with mud bubbling up through it. As he observed this, the circuits shifted, creating new pathways. Eventually, he too returned to a state of normalcy. Evidently, the Kundalini energy had triggered transformative changes in his circuits, although we were never certain about the specifics. And we never found out.

The following day, we departed for Sydney. I began to experience what can only be described as energy releases. These releases built up and eventually left me from the waist up. The funny thing was that whenever I had a surge of energy, my business partner who was driving could feel it. He was obviously still tuned in from the night before, to some extent. On one occasion, we were approaching a red traffic light. When I had an exceptionally intense release. We were travelling at 70 kilometers per hour on a multi-lane highway at the time. As we headed towards this red light, I realised we were not slowing down. I noticed my business partner was transfixed, frozen at the wheel. I yelled, and he snapped out of it and stood on the brakes just in time.

As the day went on, I became increasingly unwell, feeling nauseous with a throbbing headache between my eyebrows. We arrived in Sydney around lunchtime, and we did not have to be at our friend's place until later in the afternoon, so we chose to go to Darling Harbour in Sydney, which is a popular dockside tourist destination with many cafés, restaurants, and shops. It was a newer development, I was still nauseous, and I had a pounding headache, and the smell of food and the loudness were not helping. I was extremely sensitive to noise and smells, especially those of cooking meat and coffee, which nearly made me vomit. The only thing I could eat was a banana smoothie, which did settle my stomach a little.

We arrived at our friend's house in the afternoon, and he suggested we visit his teacher's ashram in Sydney. We agreed because we did not want to go out, but that sounded like a good place to go. I hoped that being in a spiritual setting would benefit me. At one point during the meeting, I experienced a minor energy release, and our friend was sitting next to me. He was excited as we left, and in the car, he said he'd never experienced anything like that during meditation in his life. I asked what had happened. And he said that at one point, his entire body began to vibrate and tingle. This was when I had my energy release. I never told him about the experiences we were having, and I never did.

The next day we departed early for home, and the energy bursts had lessened. I was just having them every now and again. We stopped at a roadside café later that night to refuel. While waiting, I noticed a phone booth on the highway and decided to call my wife. Intending to inform her of our location and expected arrival time home. Checking my watch, I realised it was already 10.30pm, and assuming that she may be asleep, I decided against making the call. 

Upon arriving home in the early morning, my wife expressed her concern, believing that we may have been involved in an accident. She explained that while napping in the afternoon, she heard a loud voice shouting my name in her ear. It was so loud that she jumped up out of bed. She also described an unusual incident that occurred that night. The phone rang as she was watching TV, but when she answered she heard nothing but static noise. Curiously, I asked her about the time, and she confirmed it was exactly 10. 30pm. The same moment when I had been contemplating calling her from the phone booth. I later had a dream of my wife in which I saw two additional men who would come into her life. One would assume a fatherly role, while the other would be the man that she would eventually marry. Remarkably, these events transpired exactly as I had seen in the dream in the years that followed. 

The energy bursts, headaches, and nausea had ceased, and apart from my ongoing spiritual elevation, I'd returned to a state of normalcy.

However, a few more peculiar incidents occurred over the following months. One event involved a sales representative. He visited us one day, he exuded overconfidence and an aggressive attitude, dictating what we should do and how we should do it. We were in our office, and he took out a cigarette and was about to light it without even asking permission whether he could smoke. I became immediately irritated by the audacity of smoking in our workplace without even asking. Before I could voice my objection, his attitude completely suddenly shifted. His hands began trembling. He began fumbling and stuttering, and he hastily made an excuse to leave our property. He literally ran to his car, and left in great haste. And I didn't need to say a thing.

I will now describe a difficult experience that occurred. I want to emphasise that I am committed to sharing these events exactly as they happened, with minimal alterations. Please keep in mind that this description involves sexual content. While in the supermarket, a particular incident took place. There were approximately six people waiting in line at the checkout, and I was second in line. Standing in front of me was an incredibly attractive woman who needed a price check on one of her items. The checkout girl was on the phone verifying the price. The woman was silhouetted against the light streaming in through the front windows, was wearing a tight-fitting knitted top without a bra. I was casually gazing out the window, admiring the view, I mean, the view out of the window, when she cast a disdainful look at me. I don't blame her. After all, I was wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops. I had spent the entire day working and was filthy and unshaven. It was understandable that she would react that way. Unexpectedly, seemingly out of nowhere, I released another burst of spontaneous energy. I witnessed her gasp, and she had to grab hold of the checkout counter, as her knees buckled. There were two other things that drew my attention, but I'll leave them to your imagination. I was about to say to her, you felt that, didn't you? When a voice in my head admonished me, saying, Do not say anything. Naturally, I heeded the voice, and remained silent. Interestingly, the other people in the line burst into laughter and became joyful and happy suddenly. The woman in front of me collected her belongings and walked away. I gathered my shopping items and left the supermarket. When I stepped outside, she was waiting for me in her car. Our eyes met for a few seconds before she just drove away, and I never saw her again.

Looking back now. I see that this event was a minor one, preparing me for the major one about to follow. This has happened to me several times during my life. What truly impresses me is how the universe orchestrates events. Nothing in our lives happens by chance, everything unfolds in the correct sequence. There is no such thing as a coincidence. This event pales into insignificance compared to what follows later.

Another incident occurred in front of the same supermarket. A mother and her approximately 10-year-old son emerged from the store after shopping. The woman began shaking and yelling abuse at her son in a manner that was utterly disgusting and repulsive. As I walked past them, the boy glanced up at me, tears streaming down his little face. I was about to intervene on behalf of the child, when a voice in my head loudly and sternly commanded, Say nothing, he is receiving the conditioning he needs for this lifetime. It was incredibly challenging for me to continue walking by without intervening, but now I thoroughly understand why.

I will now describe an experience that may be challenging to believe. My new partner came to live with me a few months later, and we resided in a cabin at a caravan park. Over time, our sexual experiences began to shift. I must explain what I've had to do. I have had to edit out all of my new partner's experiences. It is not fair on her. One day, sometime in the future, in a private session somewhere along the line, I'll be able to explain everything. The Kundalini energy within me was entirely reactivated. Reflecting on it now, I realised that it never truly disappeared. It merely receded to some extent. This time, the experience was different. I didn't feel ill or nauseous. Those symptoms were absent. Instead, I felt an overwhelming sense of complete power, a power I had never experienced in my life. It was raw, pure power, is the best way to describe it. This time, it was entirely focused around my genitals. They felt enlarged, and I could see the energy as a heat haze, like the shimmering heat radiating off a hot road in the summer. This energy became so intense that by merely touching my partner anywhere on her body. And this is as far as I can go descriptively. I will leave the rest to your imagination.

The energy increased to such a point, I could direct it from a distance. I only did it once from about 30 meters. In fact, this is the one and only time I have consciously directed this energy in my entire life. All the other times it was directed spontaneously. At that point. I decided to completely surrender to this energy, to relax and open myself to it, and to let it flow. This proved to be a major mistake. The energy surged through me uncontrollably, causing severe burns to my genitals. It was so severe I developed blisters. And had to apply sunburn lotion to alleviate the pain. It was as if I had experienced a very severe case of sunburn, recognising that it was spiralling out of control. I knew I had to stop. From the moment I had that thought until now, it has never returned to that level. Although it remained with me for several years afterwards, I could summon it to some extent at will. But it didn't have the same intense effect. However, It definitely did make a difference. I found it interesting how I generated this energy. I would tense all my muscles, and then my body would vibrate, allowing the energy to be released. Even 30 years later, I could still induce vibrations, and occasionally, they would occur spontaneously. As for the present day, I have moved way past that, and I don't even try. As for the vibrations, they have never left me. They can come and go as it pleases. Every so often, I can vibrate for minutes, an hour, a week, or some weeks. It just happens. I remember my business partner once said to me, if there is one thing I envy you for, it's the power you have over women. I was quite shocked over this statement and remember thinking, that is the reason you will never have it.

We are all here to learn and control energy to the point of conscious manifesting. Our conditioned selves seem like a barrier to this, but it has to be this way. The conditioned self is also a safety net. Due to our conditioning and the rate we are vibrating at gives us the appropriate power we can use. The higher we raise our vibration, the more energy we can use, the more responsibility we can take with this energy. This also requires another explanation later. 

Aside from the previously mentioned sense of immense power, I felt emotionally detached and relatively normal. I honestly conveyed to my partner that it wasn't me causing these effects, I was merely a conduit for this energy. It was using me. I was 33 years old, at the peak of my sexual vitality, and had just embarked on a new relationship. It's no wonder that one of the pathways for this energy was through sexuality. Reflecting on all my energy experiences. I Realised that they all flowed through me effortlessly, without any conscious effort on my part. I understand that this is a simplified explanation that deserves a more detailed discussion later.

 One night, I had a dream in which I stood next to an enormous machine. It was approximately 10 meters wide and 10 meters tall, and I couldn't see its end. As I stood there, a voice informed me that my Kundalini would rise again in the future. All I could do was stare at this machine, which consisted of levers, arms, belts and pulleys, intricately intertwined. On its side was a massive flywheel that was very, very slowly beginning to move. As I observed this, I was also told what, or who, I would become when this machine reached its full capacity. Somehow, I believe that when this machine does reach its full strength, it will be considerably more powerful than I can currently comprehend. It will be very different from what it was like before, only time will reveal the truth. I'm not controlling this process, and all I can do is strive to work in harmony with my inner guidance and destiny.

Reflecting on the period approximately 7 years before the Dark Night of the Soul, I can discern the progression of my spirituality from one level to the next. Another way to describe it is that my vibration in those early days was very fixed or solid. And over the years it steadily rose, which affected all other aspects of my life. The conflict between my lower and higher self was approaching its boiling point. The energy of my higher self gradually grew stronger, until the clash became so intense that I entered a crisis which led to The Dark Knight of the Soul. The battle raged on, but gradually my higher self gained some control. I will undoubtedly create another episode sometime in the future to delve deeper into this topic. I was being prepared for the awakening of the Kundalini. My body, mind, and emotions needed purification and alignment to be able to handle the most powerful spiritual energy the body can endure. In a forthcoming instalment, I will explore this process in greater detail and explain how it can be done. Remember, our journey is about embracing the experiences that shape us and striving for growth and understanding. Together, let's embark on this profound exploration of the Kundalini awakening and its impact on our lives.

In the next instalment titled, My Trips to India, I finally accept my spiritual teacher as my guide and mentor, and some of my spiritual experiences to the point of my spiritual disconnection. Also, how my learning goes to a new level. 

Please subscribe to stay tuned and updated, and I sincerely thank you for being a part of this transformative journey.