Paths to Sexual Confidence: Real vs. Fake Confidence or Arrogance

A lot of people want more confidence but are afraid of fake confidence and arrogance. You’re right to be wary of that. It’s not helpful to be falsely confident or arrogant in intimate relationships and sexuality. Today we're going to talk about why, how to avoid fake confidence or arrogance, and how to build real confidence and empowerment instead. We'll talk about why it's the opposite of selfish. I'll also share the path to creating a deep, all-encompassing sense of worth and love-ability. I'll even give you a quick exercise to get you started. 

I absolutely believe you are 100% worthy of love and acceptance exactly as you are -- and I want you to believe that too. It will feel amazing to you and be a gift to everyone in your life. 

Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences
(Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido 

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Welcome to Sex Help for Smart People. I'm Dr. Laura Jurgens. I'm here to help you have better sex, intimacy, and relationships. So let's get at it. Hey, everyone. Welcome to episode 56. We are talking today about pathways to sexual confidence and really Digging into what's the difference between real confidence and empowerment versus fake confidence versus arrogance.

[00:00:29] We're going to talk about how to discern for yourself the difference between those and between the pathways, like the work you can do to build real versus fake confidence. How to spot the difference in potential or actual partners and what to do about it when you do spot it, including when to run the other way.

[00:00:50] So, A lot of people want more confidence, but are really afraid of fake confidence and arrogance. And I'm going to say, you know what? Good for you. You are right to be wary of that. It is really not helpful in intimacy to bullshit ourselves or each other. It really doesn't work very well in sex. and intimacy and relationships.

[00:01:19] It does not get us what we really want, right? We're going to talk about why, but if you are wary of that and concerned about building confidence in sort of the wrong direction or the wrong way because you have been turned off by fake confidence or arrogance before, I totally understand and I think you're absolutely right.

[00:01:44] But it also sucks to be in a sense of insecurity, right? It's It's just no fun. I totally know how that feels. I was incredibly insecure for most of my life. I had very little self worth. I mean, I'm talking like none. And when you're struggling with confidence and self worth, it's a really rough place to be.

[00:02:05] It's also super, super common. And I would say people who are really truly confident And they're quiet, you don't tend to necessarily notice that much, unless they are kind of out there helping other people and you can kind of get a sense of it, right? But they're not that thick on the ground. Real confidence is much more rare than fake confidence, or insecurity, or arrogance.

[00:02:34] And there's certain things, like we can be confident about certain things, but underneath you still really lack confidence. a deep sense of self worth. And it will really come out in our intimate relationships and our sexuality. We can have some confidence in certain areas just because we built it through learning, through trial and error, through a lot of practice.

[00:02:54] That's usually what happens. And if you think about places in your life, I want to invite you to take a moment to think about the things you're most confident about. Take a second to really ponder that. And notice that it's because you've built it through a lot of practice, practice and oftentimes a lot of self affirmation.

[00:03:19] Sometimes you've borrowed some affirmation from somebody else for a while. You know, maybe you'll, you got patted on the back a lot as a kid for being really book smart and you have a lot of confidence about that now. Maybe you have a lot of confidence about, you know, being friendly. You know, that's not something I have.

[00:03:38] That is actually not that. universal, right? I had zero confidence about being a friendly person for a really long time. So if that's you, don't take it for granted. It's okay to be confident about it. You have built it through repeatedly affirming that quality in yourself and repeatedly practicing it. And that is one of the reasons why I think coaching is so effective is because we do a lot of practice and a lot of affirmation.

[00:04:06] And practice, practice, practice builds confidence, right? But we also need an underlying sense of self worth. In intimacy, it's really important. To have confidence in our lovability, our worthiness, and for sex, it's really helpful to have both confidence and empowerment, which means you don't feel ashamed or unsure of your own desires.

[00:04:31] You actually know empowerment includes the knowledge of yourself and also of what you don't know, which is the other person. So there is humility there, which is going to come up again later. In my practice, we work on all of this and I really love working on all of this with people because it's so joyful for me to see people really build confidence and self worth and really feel Finally, like they approve of themselves, but lacking self worth doesn't mean you have no confidence in anything.

[00:05:06] I mean, back when I had little to zero sense of self worth, I was still really good, confident that I could make a good cup of coffee and do fancy statistics, even give a pretty good science talk. Like I could do a lot of things, but I didn't feel truly worthy of love. I didn't feel entitled to grace and patience and boundaries.

[00:05:30] I didn't offer myself approval if I wasn't trying to be perfect or actually executing perfection. So, I was really missing a deep sense of self worth that is underlying real confidence. And that is, that's the real juice. And there is no hiding it in intimate relationships. I mean, okay, there is hiding it, which we're going to talk about, fake confidence.

[00:05:56] But it will always throw wrenches in your connection. So if that's you, it is absolutely okay to be where you're at. I was there too, and I built a sense of self worth, and you can too, I promise. Loads of people struggle with deep self worth. For me, I was really into trying to achieve my way into self worth.

[00:06:17] The do do do. And if you scratch the surface, Of a lot of busy people, that's what's going on. They're trying to achieve their way into self worth or self approval. Or you'll see people trying to sort of give selflessly all the time, or make lots of money, or have the best everything, the fanciest car, or be the most perfect, right?

[00:06:39] In whatever way they've chosen to define that for themselves, you'll find every one of them is struggling with a worthiness wound. And it comes out in our intimacy. So we're going to talk today about the path to real confidence. What it is. How it's different from fake confidence and arrogance. So you don't have to be scared.

[00:06:57] You're going to like slide into being arrogant. And I want, they're really different. You're not going to accidentally become arrogant. I want to help you at least know and be able to really spot the difference and trust yourself about it. So that you feel like you can really take whatever next steps are right for you on the path to real confidence.

[00:07:19] And so that you can also be a little bit, you know, be supportive of people around you who are experiencing insecurity that is coming out as fake confidence and be a little wary of folks who might actually be in arrogance and not very open to connection because of that. And what, just kind of know what it does in relationship.

[00:07:41] So I will tell you something now. Right now. And again, at the end of this podcast, I'm going to tell you a very important sentence. And I want you to hear this from me now, even if it's really hard to take in, just notice if it feels like it's unbelievable. That means you have some work to do on self worth and that's okay.

[00:08:02] And truly, I recommend saying this to yourself every day and asking for it from your partner regularly if it is something that you are working on. I want you to listen to the sentence. I'm going to repeat it at the end of this podcast again, and I'm going to give you some alternatives if this feels unbelievable right now, because I don't want you to go take it as some like bullshit affirmation you have to force yourself to do.

[00:08:27] So here this is, and this is absolutely true from me. There is nothing you need to do for me to love you. I love you for who you are, not what you do. No matter if I've met you or not. You are worthy of my care and approval just as you are. And I 100 percent believe that. So just notice if that feels like something that lands with you or if it feels like something that kind of bounces off or slides off or if there's even like a, what the fuck, how am I supposed to believe that?

[00:09:00] That means any of those sort of like, not really landing means that there's some work to do on that, that worthiness. inside. And I'm going to come, we're going to come back to this at the end and it's going to really tie into confidence. So let's get going on confidence. We'll come back to the worthy building sentences.

[00:09:19] So let's start with some definitions. We're going to define real confidence, which is what I work on building with people in my practice. I've helped a lot of people do it. I've done it myself from the ground up and I can say I'm pretty good at spotting the real deal. And I'm going to talk about this in the context of relationships and sexuality, but it really underpins our general sense of confidence, not related to specific tasks that we've practiced, right?

[00:09:46] And real sexual confidence is also about empowerment. We know what turns us on, we know what we like, we can talk about it, but it also includes this real relationship confidence that's based on self worth, because you really do need to have a great relationship with yourself. Made of compassion, like built with the bricks of self compassion in order to truly connect and be available to others.

[00:10:14] Real confidence means you feel worthy of love. You are able to be connected to yourself in compassion. And that includes your sexual energy and your sexual desires. You can own your needs and desires and also know how to take care of yourself when they aren't met. You can allow yourself to feel whatever feelings, like disappointment, without making anyone else wrong.

[00:10:39] This is the kind of confidence that says, you know, I'm great and you are equally great. I don't, when I'm in real confidence, I don't need to be great at anyone else's expense and I don't have to be better than anyone else. We can just be equally great. Because there is no variation in worth. When someone has real confidence, it's not about ego.

[00:11:04] It is just, I'm a hundred percent worthy. You're a hundred percent worthy. End of story, not more or less than someone else because it's in my experience and the truth for me that I found has been most useful and you will never get, you know, you know, the universe isn't going to send us like a certified letter that says this is how we define worthiness.

[00:11:25] So you might as well choose a way for yourself that feels useful and helpful and makes you feel good. And also gets you good results in the world. And I can promise that thinking you're better than someone doesn't get you good results. And thinking you're worse than other people doesn't get you good results or feel good.

[00:11:42] So it's actually much better to just decide that there is no pie of worthiness. It's not like a, it's not a zero sum game. It's not a competition. This will become easier when we talk about puppies. Okay, so true confidence shows itself by being open to feedback and being wrong. It's okay to be wrong because it's okay to be vulnerable.

[00:12:08] This is really important. Real confidence doesn't mean you never feel insecure or vulnerable. It means that you accept those things are human with compassion. And that they don't interfere. Vulnerability and insecurity doesn't interfere with your sense of worthiness. You're like, oh, I'm just feeling vulnerable.

[00:12:29] I'm feeling insecure. That is normal. That is, I'm a human being, right? You acknowledge when your capacity is low, or when you're a beginner, or when you're nervous or unsure, or when someone else has more information than you. And that's fine. And you just hold your own hand through it, or you ask for help.

[00:12:47] That is one thing I have learned about real confidence is that now that I have it, I can actually ask for help. It's amazing. It's awesome. Real confidence includes being curious about other people's differences rather than threatened by them, and being supportive of others and engaging with their needs within our own boundaries and capacity.

[00:13:09] Because it doesn't threaten my worth for you to have different needs or desires. I can be wrong, right? Being open to being wrong. When you're open to being wrong, I don't have to, we don't have to know everything, right? You and I, we are worthy, even if we are uninformed, even if we screw up, we are still worthy.

[00:13:30] And, So that's the deal. That's like the puppy ideology here. A puppy is born worthy of love. And no matter how much that puppy screws up, in whatever way you define it, right? No matter if they ate the couch, if they pee on the rug, or if they are old and have lost half their fur and they look like crap.

[00:13:54] They have like a, you know, floppy pup, like old dog belly, or they're the laziest thing that never moves from the bed. They are still worthy of love. They never lose that worthiness from the moment they're born until the moment they die. They're still great. And they, that puppy, that dog does not have to be better than a different, another dog doesn't have to be better than you.

[00:14:19] Doesn't have to be better than the, you know, the chicken you ate for dinner. Nothing has to be better than anything else. Worthy just is, right? You were born 100 percent worthy. You don't lose it if you sit around binge watching Netflix all day and eating Cheetos. You don't lose it if you have an addiction.

[00:14:40] You don't lose it if you screw up and hurt somebody. You don't lose it, you don't lose your worthiness of love if you never move out of your mom's basement. Right? You just may not be getting great results and you may be putting other people in a difficult position. So you may want to change those things, but it doesn't mean you're not worthy of love.

[00:15:03] So, if We, confidence and self worth are just very, very entwined because when we're missing the worth, when we haven't given ourselves permission to really believe in our own self worth and to decide, it's a decision. It's just a decision and we have to decide it over and over again when we haven't decided that we are 100 percent worthy.

[00:15:28] We will always tend to be underconfident, we will always tend to be insecure because we don't have our own approval. So we're looking for it in other, for other people to approve of us. We wind up doing over caretaking, overachieving to get worse in acceptance, right? So real confidence is secure, it can rest.

[00:15:49] You only focus on achieving and creating when it feels good. And, you know, A lot of people, I used to be worried that if I actually approved of myself, I would turn into a lazy slug. I can promise if you're worried about that, you're not going to turn into a lazy slug. Imagine what would it actually be like?

[00:16:06] Usually the people who are worried the most about something are the people who are not going to have that problem. So, imagine what it would be like to just sit and do nothing at all for an entire week. Okay, maybe you need to, maybe you have been overachieving so much that you actually need that rest.

[00:16:22] But now imagine you do it for a whole nother week. You're gonna get stir crazy, you're gonna need to go out and do something, but you know, maybe you're gonna choose doing something you actually like this time. Alright. So we're not talking about being invulnerable, we're not talking about being hyper independent.

[00:16:37] Real confidence. In real confidence, we have embraced the reality that we are all vulnerable and we are confident enough in our own words to be compassionate towards ourselves, even with vulnerability, and to show manageable pieces of it to others in order to connect, but we're not like beating over the, over the head with it or overwhelming them with it.

[00:16:57] Right. We're not inundating people with our needs or denying them. We're saying, yep, I'm here as a human. That's totally okay. And there you are. And I respect you too. It takes work to get there, but it is freeing, beautiful, rewarding, and often really fun work. And every step along the way feels better and no one can ever take it away from you.

[00:17:19] So I invite you to tackle that journey. It is. It's literally everything. Hit me up if you want help or find other help, but know that this is not a selfish journey. It is actually one that will benefit everyone that you encounter for the rest of your life. It is the best possible thing you can do for your kids is to heal your own worst wound.

[00:17:41] I can tell you that right away. And it will also always help everyone around you because You become like a light that warms people, you have abundance to share, you have more love to give, more understanding, you show people what's possible, and it is a generous place to be, because insecurity, fake confidence that rests on insecurity, and arrogance, those actually are all much more self centric.

[00:18:08] When you feel a solid sense of worth and you're not better than others, you're just equal, you can actually give from a place of true generosity, whereas insecure people actually give trying to get validation from others. And it's actually a pretty self focused situation. And I know that too, because I used to do that too.

[00:18:26] And it doesn't mean you're a bad person, but I want to encourage you that building your own confidence is actually a gift to other people, and it is not selfish. All right, that's my little TED talk about that. So let's talk about fake confidence and arrogance on the other hand, because they are very different from real confidence, and they are very different from each other too.

[00:18:48] So in relationships and sexuality, fake confidence and arrogance really don't work super well for partners. They don't feel good and they don't feel, they tend sometimes to feel not good in similar ways, but we'll talk about that in a second. So fake confidence. is really very common, and most of us know what this feels like, and we've all kind of done it.

[00:19:10] It's covering up insecurity, either consciously, like a fake it till you make it thing, or if we are not self aware, we can be falsely confident. unconsciously, which is usually actually more harmful, but also very common. There is anxiety baked in, just baked in naturally to any false confidence because there's this insecurity under it, right?

[00:19:35] It's an unwillingness to admit and be compassionate with our own vulnerability. It's not usually intentional malice, however, even though it can be harmful and it can also feel really lonely to the person who has it. Because after all, if you're fake, faking confidence, you're not really showing who you are.

[00:19:55] You're not accepting where you're actually at. You're rejecting yourself by not showing yourself to other people, which means they don't get to actually connect with the real you. So it's like a trap. It is a tempting one! Because it feels less vulnerable than actually being vulnerable. But some of the harm from self, like self, this self delusion around false confidence, this whole, like, if I don't own my insecurity, nobody will notice it.

[00:20:28] Yeah, not, it doesn't really work that way. But some of the harm comes from denying our own desires. our needs and our own responsibility for them. So instead we wind up when we're in false confidence and we're, we're actually under, under that really insecure, we want others to fill our own desires and needs for us so that we don't have to.

[00:20:50] We want others to conform to our needs, even at their own expense sometimes, to make us feel validated. That is not an empowered place to be and it is also not very fun to be in relationship. with that dynamic. Fake confidence tends to also be very fragile. It can't handle a challenge. So People in it tend to take hard lines, they get really defensive and easily hurt, which means they also often hurt others pretty easily with all that defensiveness.

[00:21:20] Tends to be people who are either avoiding connection or grabbing on way too tight. And if you're falsely confident, you often don't have boundaries. They're either non existent or they're really unskilled. There are actually just threats and ultimatums. It doesn't really feel very good. Most of us have been around people who are faking confidence in some way.

[00:21:43] And for some of us, we can pick up on it really easily and it can actually feel scary to be around because of the inauthenticity. It's like we don't know what's true about this person because they're covering up the truth. And so it feels like uncertain. And it's like, Here's the deal. We all sometimes have to fake it to get along in the world.

[00:22:03] That is totally okay in many circumstances. Like, if you need to do this at work sometimes, you have a presentation coming you do not feel confident about, and you need to just pretend like you are confident. You know, go for it. If you need to gear yourself up with some false confidence to get your ass to the dentist, go with it.

[00:22:22] But in intimate relationships, faking confidence in bed or in relationship can actually really harm your relationship. It can be harmful to your connection with this person, and it can actually sometimes actually be pretty harmful to the other person. So, for example, Falsely confident people are really bad at taking feedback or direction in bed.

[00:22:45] So if your partner asks you to do something different, you know, like, you know, lick me this way instead, you will tend to take it personally as if you're not good enough. And that makes everything about you. Instead of bringing this open willingness to learn what the partner needs and that tends to shut your partner down they don't feel like they can actually say what they want and it can really create a lot of distance and sexual dysfunction in a relationship.

[00:23:14] So And when you're in relationships, sometimes false confidence people covering up insecurity, they also can snip at their partner or even put them down. And arrogant people can do that too. But sometimes that false confidence is covering, is really defensive of that insecurity. So it actually winds up being almost kind of attacking.

[00:23:35] And here's the thing to know if you relate to any of this. The bravado stuff is not helping you. It tends to be harming you, your partnership, your connection, your sex life, and it is worth working on so that you actually feel truly confident, really good about yourself, and you don't have to do all this stuff.

[00:23:57] It's also a lot less work when you feel actually confident because you're not kind of doing all this effort to try to pretend and you're not kind of constantly trying to cover up or defend. So just know if this is you, it's okay. The first step is to sort of admit all the insecurity and be vulnerable about it.

[00:24:17] Even though insecurity is going to pull you into a sort of self centered place. Right? Because you're focused on your own lack, so you're not actually able to focus outward on others. It's better to be honest about that and start dealing with that with self compassion than pretending that you're confident when you're not.

[00:24:36] Okay? And please do not fool yourself into thinking that serving others from insecurity is actually like a good thing. generous. It's not. It's usually about making ourselves feel better and avoiding taking care of our own self worth ourselves. So the work here is to find real true worthiness that doesn't depend on comparison or someone else to fill your own void.

[00:24:58] You are already worthy of love and respect. So is everyone else equally. End of story. And the faster you work on figuring that out, you will be You will be happier and your relationships will be better. Arrogance, on the other hand, is when you are actually truly convinced that you are better than other people.

[00:25:16] And look, most of us actually, in my experience, don't identify with this, but it can be hard if you don't identify with thinking that you're just generally better than other people. It can be really hard to imagine that there are actually people who do feel that way. But it's important that you realize that there are.

[00:25:36] Because you need to watch out for them and not just kind of constantly give people the benefit of the doubt that they are actually insecure under the arrogance. Because there are some people who are not. And they will suck your energy. So, arrogance actually literally means you think you're better, smarter, more capable, etc.

[00:25:56] than others. For no reason. And it is different than just being really good at something and having pride in that skill. That is earned pride and it is fine, even if you don't personally like it or like it in other people. If it's not a trait you like, if you don't like people having pride, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with that, right?

[00:26:17] Serena Williams is not arrogant in tennis. She's literally just fucking amazing and she has every right to take pride in that. It is the truth that she is. So amazingly good at tennis, and it harms no one to admit that she's great, right? That is just earned pride. Arrogance, on the other hand, is unearned and typically relies on putting others down.

[00:26:42] It is comparative. It is like the, I'm better than you. That is totally different than, I'm just really great at this particular thing, right? Sexual arrogance is always misplaced. It is always wrong. Because no one can be, like, the greatest of all time at sex. Every partner. They can be the greatest of all time for you, but every partner is different and if you just think that you're just great at sex for every partner, I can promise you're wrong, right?

[00:27:16] And chances are most of us don't think that. That's probably not what you think, but you run in, you might run into somebody who does and they're wrong because sexual connection really does require humility. We need to approach our partners as If they and only they are the expert on their bodies, because that is true, and we get the joyful job of being invited to join their party, right?

[00:27:42] So, if you are partnered with someone who acts like or even has the lack of self awareness to tell you that they are better than you in bed. You may be dealing with an arrogant person who's actually showing themselves to be pretty bad in bed because they're showing they don't have the humility to be thoughtful and open to your experience as a partner.

[00:28:05] Okay, and I hear this not uncommonly like sometimes people's partners put them down, tell them that they're bad in bed, tell them that all their other partners have, you know, come in two seconds or whatever. And I can almost always promise that those people were might be faking. But If somebody is really arrogant, they will tend not to notice other people's authentic experience and other people will tend to feel like they have to put on a show in order to kind of get out of the situation.

[00:28:34] So, I will offer this caution. If you run into this kind of arrogant situation, you may want to run screaming the other direction. I would. I would totally run screaming the other direction. Or, if the person is really, really worth it in other ways. And only you can decide that. You may want to sit down and have a talk with them about the need to be humble because only you are an expert on your own body, and they are darn lucky that you have shared it with them.

[00:29:02] And you can also send them this episode. Why not? Okay, so I want to go back to that sense of self worth and that worthiness sentence. The thought that I wanted you to consider trying on and seeing if it's possible for you to believe it. If you do, you will probably be able to, like, if you can really believe that, then you might feel a lot better if you tell yourself that often.

[00:29:30] So, that sentence that I really want you to think about is There's nothing you need to do for me to love you. I love you for just being who you are, not what you do. If you can say that to yourself and it feels believable. So it would sound, if I was saying it to myself, I don't have to do anything to be lovable.

[00:29:55] I can just be who I am and be worthy of love and acceptance. How does that feel? Try saying that to yourself. I don't have to do anything to be lovable. I can just be who I am and be worthy of love and acceptance. If that feels uncomfy, like there's a big rejection in your brain or your body that yells out, you know, fat chance or something.

[00:30:16] Try on clothes. a different sentence because we don't want you to try to be forcing an affirmation that's not going to resonate with you. That's just going to create resistance. It's not actually helpful. So here's what we do instead. We build a little bridge. We build a little stepping stone to get a little step closer.

[00:30:38] Right, because what you might underlying in the back of your brain, be telling yourself, is that you have to do all these things. You have to be perfect in order to be worthy. If you notice that that stuff might be going on in your head, if that feels like it's happening, even if you haven't caught the thoughts, then it probably is happening.

[00:30:56] So what you need to do is just take one little step more towards a better way of thinking about yourself and your own self worth. So try on this sentence instead and see how this feels. It's possible that I am just as worthy of love and acceptance as everyone else without having to be perfect. Try that one on.

[00:31:19] How does that one feel? What we do is we put an it's possible in the front to make our brains Stop resisting by saying, well, let's just think maybe, maybe it's possible that I'm just as worthy of love and acceptance as everyone else without having to be perfect, right? Could we even entertain the possibility?

[00:31:43] If that feels better. I want you to start practicing. I really invite you to do this. I'm not, not kidding at all. Practice it 50 times a day like it's your job. 50 times minimum, like 100 times is better. Seriously, this is about repetition. Somewhere in the back of your head, you have repeated over and over this idea that you are somehow unworthy and you need to correct that.

[00:32:09] Those neurons need to get overwhelmed by another set of neural connections that tells you something different. You need to create a new neural pathway in your brain. This is called neuroplasticity. It actually is changing your brain to believe something different. So start believing it's possible you are just as worthy of love and acceptance as everyone else without having to be perfect.

[00:32:34] And you start believing that by repeating it to yourself and really letting it sink in many, many, many times for weeks. So think about, you know, 50 times a day for like three to four weeks and then check back with me. That is the way to do it. There is no shortcut. There is no workaround. You actually have to learn to believe something else through repetition.

[00:32:59] And I want to invite you to just really imagine that you and everyone else are born worthy and stay worthy. You can make mistakes, you can grow from them, and you can still be the same amount of worthy just like a puppy. Right? Just try that on. See how it feels. And think about Building real confidence based on deep self worth and a willingness to be human, vulnerable, insecure when you're insecure, a beginner when you're a beginner, humble when you need to be humble in the face of somebody with more information, right?

[00:33:33] Like your partner who has more information about their body and their experience. That is actually the way to confidence, is by allowing ourselves compassion to be human. And to make mistakes, and to need rest, and to have a capacity, past which we really shouldn't move, to have boundaries, to allow all those things, all of those human limitations, allowing those, actually, builds confidence.

[00:34:01] Because when we run up against humanity, we don't make it that there's something wrong with us. Okay, my friends, I hope this has been helpful and clarifying. I hope it give you a little boost today in thinking about your worthiness and my approval of you. I hope it Just landed with like a little warm fuzzy in your heart today, and I will see you here next week.

[00:34:26] Hey, if you're curious about how you could have better sex and connections, go grab my free guide, Find Your Secret Turn Ons. It's right on my website, www.laurajurgens.com, and the link is in the show notes. I'll see you here next time.