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The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with Mismatched Sex Drives
Mismatched libidos destroying your relationship? Dr. Laura Jurgens helps couples solve desire differences with proven methods—even when therapy fails. This intimacy coach and former professor helps couples navigate different sexual needs with research-based solutions that actually work.
This isn't about forcing different sex drives to align. It's about understanding why you want different amounts of sex, learning to talk about it without fighting, and creating intimacy that works for both partners. Even if you're feeling rejected, lonely, guilty, broken, or ashamed for having needs—you're not. You're just missing the tools to bridge your desire discrepancy.
Every episode delivers practical strategies you can use immediately: how to boost desire, communicate without defensiveness, understand different arousal types, and reconnect with your body so intimacy feels natural again. Whether traditional relationship counseling hasn't helped or you're avoiding couples therapy altogether, these approaches work for the intimacy issues that most therapists aren't trained to handle.
Ready to stop the pursue-withdraw pattern that's creating distance and resentment? Get the science-backed roadmap to authentic connection that honors both partners' needs.
No ads. Just proven advice that works.
Disclosure: expect explicit content and swearing!
The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with Mismatched Sex Drives
ADHD & Desire Gaps, Part 1: High libido, low libido, or sometimes both
If you have ADHD and your sex life feels challenging, you're not broken - your brain just works differently. Maybe you have super high libido and use sex or masturbation to feel at home in your body. Or maybe your libido is low because sex hasn't been working for your body or you're stuck in your head and you don't know why or how to fix it. Or maybe you're both, depending on the day.
In this episode, we unpack why ADHD creates these extremes - from sex as self-medication to getting stuck in your head during sex to not knowing what your body actually needs. We also cover Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (why "not tonight" feels catastrophic) and emotional dysregulation (the intensity that confuses your partner).
Whether you're the ADHD partner or the non-ADHD partner trying to understand, this episode will help you make sense of what's been happening. No shame, just clarity. First in a 4-part series on ADHD and desire gaps.
Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences
(Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido
Find out more about me at https://laurajurgens.com/