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Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want
Formerly The Desire Gap Podcast
Most people who feel disconnected from their desire, their pleasure, or their partners have spent years assuming something is wrong with them. It isn't. The disconnection is real — but it traces back to what most of us were never taught: how to be in our bodies fully, how to connect to each other authentically, how to know and ask for what we need without guilt or shame. Culture shapes that — the broader culture we inherit, and the family we grew up in — and it can be unlearned. Pleasure, secure attachment, and authentic desire are your birthright.
You can learn what you were never taught — and unlearn what got in the way.
Dr. Laura Jurgens is a somatic sex and intimacy specialist, Master Certified Intimacy Coach, American Board of Sexology Certified Sex Educator, and former research professor whose work sits at the intersection of nervous system science, attachment theory, and genuine embodied pleasure. Every episode delivers the somatic, body-based tools that generic relationship advice and most therapists miss entirely — because desire, pleasure, and connection aren't fixed by talking more. They're fixed by giving your body and your nervous system reparative experiences and embodied practices that shift you out of your past.
This show covers: getting out of your head during sex · low libido and what actually helps · somatic and nervous system approaches to intimacy · desire discrepancy and mismatched libido · secure attachment and relationship repair · sexual shame and body disconnection · how to talk about sex without fighting · ADHD and desire · the orgasm gap and why it exists · reclaiming pleasure on your own terms.
Whether you've tried therapy, books, or just quietly wondering why intimacy feels harder than it should — this show will help you understand why those things don't move the needle — and what does.
New episodes weekly. Start wherever you are.
Free resource: Get Out of Your Head — A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guide
Wheel of Erotic Emotions: https;//laurajurgens.com/wheel
For deeper analysis and the research behind desire, arousal, and attachment -- plus a chance to ask me questions, subscribe to my Substack: https://laurajurgens.substack.com/
Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want
The Golden Rule of Sex (and why that Other One does NOT apply)
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Treat others the way you want to be treated? Great rule. Terrible sex advice.
In this episode I'm breaking down the principle that actually works — go at the pace of the slowest body in the room, with open curiosity — and why applying the wrong golden rule is one of the most common ways couples accidentally shut down desire without even realizing it.
I talk about what going slow actually asks of the faster-arousing partner (hint: it's not a sacrifice — it's new, but delicious), why the slower-arousing partner needs to develop real self-knowledge first, and what that actually looks like in practice. I also get into why so many people with vulvas have never actually explored their own peak arousal — and why that matters more than most sex "experts" will ever tell you.
If you've ever felt like your body isn't responding the way it "should," or like you and your partner are somehow always missing each other — this one's for you.
Topics covered:
- Why the wrong golden rule kills desire without anyone meaning it to
- The nervous system reason that going too fast trips the brakes
- What the "five-course meal approach" actually looks like
- Self-exploration as a non-negotiable — and how to start
- Healing your relationship with your own genitals
Get my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guide
More links:
Substack at https://laurajurgens.substack.com/
Pleasure Path Diagnostic here: https://laurajurgens.com/diagnostic/
About me, testimonials, blog, bookings: https://laurajurgens.com/
Wheel of Erotic emotions, go to: https://laurajurgens.com/wheel
Copyright notice: All content in this podcast is copyrighted and copying, scraping, data mining, or using the content to train AI is prohibited.