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The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Embodied Pleasure
Dr. Laura Jurgens is a multi-certified intimacy coach, desire and arousal specialist, and former research professor who specializes in desire, arousal, and body-based intimacy solutions.
Every episode delivers the practical, somatic tools that generic relationship advice and most couples therapy miss entirely — because desire and pleasure challenges aren't fixed by talking more. They're fixed by working with your nervous system, your body, and the specific patterns keeping you stuck.
And what no one tells you is that both people have the power to make real change, because both people contribute to the dynamic. No one is at fault — and that thinking is exactly what keeps couples stuck.
This show covers: low libido and what actually helps · the pursue-withdraw cycle · somatic and nervous system approaches to intimacy · how to talk about sex without fighting · midlife and perimenopause changes · why therapy often fails for desire discrepancy · sexual shame and body disconnection · how ADHD affects desire in relationships · how one partner changing shifts the whole relationship.
Whether you've tried therapy, scheduled sex, or every book on the subject and you're still stuck — this is the podcast that goes where those solutions don't.
New episodes weekly. Start wherever you are.
Free resources at https://laurajurgens.com/guide
The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Embodied Pleasure
Touch Aversion: When your partner's touch makes your skin crawl (and what helps)
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Does your partner's touch make your skin crawl? You're not broken—and this is fixable.
Touch aversion is when affectionate or sexual touch from your partner feels wrong in your body— irritating, threatening, or like you need to escape. This can happen even with light, loving touch.
This isn't about attraction. It's a nervous system response— and it's more common than you think.
In this episode, you'll learn:
- What touch aversion actually is (and why it's not rejection, it's protection)
- 8 causes beyond sexual trauma—including disembodied consent, emotional coercion, being "touched out" from kids, unresolved resentments, and attachment patterns
- Why therapy may help you understand it but doesn't solve it (and what does)
- Why your partner acting hurt about it makes it worse, even though it's understandable
- The Three-Touch Discovery Process— a practice you can try today to start reconnecting with what your body actually wants
Touch aversion happens when your nervous system has learned that touch isn't safe— even with a safe partner. You can't think your way out of a body-based response. You need new somatic experiences to re-pattern.
This is solvable. But you need guided work with someone who specializes in nervous system re-patterning, not just talk therapy. So we'll talk about what that looks like.
If you want help, book a consultation at https://laurajurgens.com/book-a-consult/
Get my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guide
Find out more about my offerings and read the blog: https://laurajurgens.com/
Go to my calendar to book a consultation here.
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