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Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want
Formerly The Desire Gap Podcast
Most people who feel disconnected from their desire, their pleasure, or their partners have spent years assuming something is wrong with them. It isn't. The disconnection is real — but it traces back to what most of us were never taught: how to be in our bodies fully, how to connect to each other authentically, how to know and ask for what we need without guilt or shame. Culture shapes that — the broader culture we inherit, and the family we grew up in — and it can be unlearned. Pleasure, secure attachment, and authentic desire are your birthright.
You can learn what you were never taught — and unlearn what got in the way.
Dr. Laura Jurgens is a somatic sex and intimacy specialist, Master Certified Intimacy Coach, American Board of Sexology Certified Sex Educator, and former research professor whose work sits at the intersection of nervous system science, attachment theory, and genuine embodied pleasure. Every episode delivers the somatic, body-based tools that generic relationship advice and most therapy miss entirely — because desire, pleasure, and connection aren't fixed by talking more. They're fixed by working with your body, your nervous system, and the specific patterns keeping you stuck.
This show covers: getting out of your head during sex · low libido and what actually helps · somatic and nervous system approaches to intimacy · desire discrepancy and mismatched libido · secure attachment and relationship repair · sexual shame and body disconnection · how to talk about sex without fighting · ADHD and desire · the orgasm gap and why it exists · reclaiming pleasure on your own terms.
Whether you've tried therapy, read every book, or just quietly wondered why intimacy feels harder than it should — this is the show that goes where those solutions don't.
New episodes weekly. Start wherever you are.
Free resource: Get Out of Your Head — A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guide
Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want
Confident, not controlling: what "take charge in bed" actually means
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When a woman asks a male partner to "be more assertive in bed," those words are typically landing differently than she intends — and differently than he's hearing them. This is a gendered language problem, and it's causing real confusion, frustration, and disappointment in real relationships.
There is a real vocabulary mismatch about "dominance" and "assertiveness" rooted in how men and women are socialized differently as children around anger, aggression, and sexuality — and once you see it, you can't unsee it.
In this episode, you'll learn:
- Why "assertive" and "dominant" mean different things depending on how you were socialized — and why that gap is doing damage
- The five things women typically mean when they ask for more assertiveness in bed — for women who want to understand how to ask more effectively, and for the partners trying to meet it
- Why aggression shuts desire down at the nervous system level — and what works instead
- What "attuned confidence" actually means and how to build it
- What the masculine/feminine polarity content getting popular right now is actually teaching — and why it's harming real libidos
- Simple scripts for both of you: how to say what you actually mean, and how to ask what your partner actually means
Most couples are having the wrong conversation about this. This episode gives you the right one.
Get my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guide
Find out more about my offerings and read the blog: https://laurajurgens.com/
Go to my calendar to book a consultation here.
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