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Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want
Formerly The Desire Gap Podcast
Most people who feel disconnected from their desire, their pleasure, or their partners have spent years assuming something is wrong with them. It isn't. The disconnection is real — but it traces back to what most of us were never taught: how to be in our bodies fully, how to connect to each other authentically, how to know and ask for what we need without guilt or shame. Culture shapes that — the broader culture we inherit, and the family we grew up in — and it can be unlearned. Pleasure, secure attachment, and authentic desire are your birthright.
You can learn what you were never taught — and unlearn what got in the way.
Dr. Laura Jurgens is a somatic sex and intimacy specialist, Master Certified Intimacy Coach, American Board of Sexology Certified Sex Educator, and former research professor whose work sits at the intersection of nervous system science, attachment theory, and genuine embodied pleasure. Every episode delivers the somatic, body-based tools that generic relationship advice and most therapists miss entirely — because desire, pleasure, and connection aren't fixed by talking more. They're fixed by giving your body and your nervous system reparative experiences and embodied practices that shift you out of your past.
This show covers: getting out of your head during sex · low libido and what actually helps · somatic and nervous system approaches to intimacy · desire discrepancy and mismatched libido · secure attachment and relationship repair · sexual shame and body disconnection · how to talk about sex without fighting · ADHD and desire · the orgasm gap and why it exists · reclaiming pleasure on your own terms.
Whether you've tried therapy, books, or just quietly wondering why intimacy feels harder than it should — this show will help you understand why those things don't move the needle — and what does.
New episodes weekly. Start wherever you are.
Free resource: Get Out of Your Head — A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guide
For deeper dives-- including cultural analysis and the research behind desire, arousal, and attachment -- plus a chance to ask me questions, subscribe to my Substack: https://laurajurgens.substack.com/
Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want
Low Libido Isn't a Mindset Problem: Why You Can't Think Your Way to Desire
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If you've been trying to figure out how to want sex more and nothing is working — this episode is going to explain why. And it's probably not the answer you've heard before.
A lot of people struggling with low desire or low libido have already done the reading. They understand the concepts. Their body still hasn't gotten the memo. That's not a character flaw. It's the wrong sequence.
In this episode, I cover:
- Why desire and arousal are not the same thing — and why the order they happen in matters more than most people realize
- What responsive desire actually is, what the research says (including Rosemary Basson's work on how desire really works for most women), and why the model in most medical textbooks is wrong
- What your nervous system has to do with low desire — and why this is the piece that's almost always missing from mainstream advice
- How cultural conditioning and shame get wired into the body at a level that thinking simply can't reach
- Where your mind actually does help with desire — and what most people are doing with it instead that's actively working against them
If you've read the books, done the therapy, and you still feel stuck in your head, this one is for you.
Resources mentioned: Episode 5 (core desires and erotic emotions) | Free guide: Get Out of Your Head at laurajurgens.com/guide | Substack: laurajurgens.substack.com
Get my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guide
Find out more about my offerings and read the blog: https://laurajurgens.com/
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