Tipping, Upsells & The Small Money Habits Americans Don’t Even Notice

There’s a small money habit in America that I didn’t notice at first — and now I see it everywhere.

It shows up in tipping, payment screens, and everyday spending habits that quietly add up. The moment you think you’re done… there’s often one more decision waiting. A tip. An upsell. A donation prompt. Something small, but repeated often enough that it starts to shape how you spend without you really noticing.

In this episode, I talk through what it feels like to experience these everyday money habits in America as an Australian — from tipping culture and checkout screens to extended warranties and those subtle “just one more thing” moments.

It’s not about how much things cost. It’s about how often you’re asked to think about money.

And once you notice it… you start seeing it everywhere.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

There's a small money habit that most people in America don't even notice anymore. I didn't notice it either. Not for the first six months at least, which probably says something more about me than anything else. Because every time I buy something here, there's a decision waiting for me to be made. Now, at first, I thought it was just all about tipping. It's not. It's a whole pattern. It's not about how much things cost, it's what happens after you think you're done. And once you notice it, you start seeing it everywhere. You better take cover. Now I remember the first time I noticed this pattern. I was in a drive-thru line, just getting a coffee, nothing fancy. Grande latte with a triple shot of espresso on non-fat milk, a bit of extra foam, pump of vanilla syrup, and half a pump of hazelnut. Easy. I pulled up to the window to pay, and then they handed me the screen. And there it was, waiting for me. 15%, 18%, 25%, waiting for me to make that decision. And for a second I just thought, well, hang on. Am I missing something here? Because I thought we were done. I order, I pay, I leave. But here you're not quite done. Now, at first I thought, okay, this is just a tipping thing. But then you start noticing, no, it's everywhere. Every time you buy something, that decision has to be made. Now, the next one that got me was the donation prompt. So you'll be at a checkout, grocery store, fast food, somewhere like that. And just as you're finishing up, would you like to make a donation today? And it's always something very specific. Something that you weren't expecting to think about in that exact moment. Now, personally, I've started calling it the Homeless and Starving Ballerina Fund. You don't quite know what it is, but you feel like a bad person if you say no. Which I sometimes do. And then regret it immediately as I'm walking out to my car. Because it's not really about the amount, it's just that sudden shift from buying a carton of eggs to saving third world hunger and making the decision on the spot to do so. And then there's the upsell. Just when you think you're done, there's usually one more question. Would you like to make it a combo? Do you want to add this? Do you want to add that? Do you want to upgrade it? Or do you want extended warranty? Which always seems to appear right at the moment that you've mentally checked out of the transaction. And I've realized something about myself from living here. At times I am incredibly easy to upsell. Doesn't take much sometimes. If you ask me at the right moment, slightly tired, slightly distracted from the kids, there's a very good chance I'll just say yes. And it's not because I need it, it's just because it's there and I don't want to justify why I don't want it. And I do wonder about those extended warranty offers that you get in the mail as well. I mean, as soon as you buy a new car, you get those offers in the mail. And you get so many of them, but they must work, right? Otherwise, why would they keep sending them to everybody? And then there's the way that you pay, even really small amounts. They don't feel like decisions anymore. Nowadays, you just tap $2, $5, $10, no hesitation, no real sense of is this actually worth it? Until later. And that's when you start adding it all up in your head and thinking, how do I just spend $50 today? My wife is notorious for this. She'll find bargains at stores like Five Below and say proudly, yeah, it was only $5. And I'm sitting there thinking, yeah, you said that about the last 20 things there, and now we're down a hundred bucks, Nikki. But it really doesn't stop there. There's always something else. Would you like a receipt? Email or printed. Round up to the nearest dollar for the local fire department. Would you like to apply for a store credit card today while you're here? It'll save you 10% off your purchase. And look, none of this is a big deal on its own, and it all makes sense, but it's just one more decision. Then when you put them all together, every transaction becomes a small moment of decision. It's not just am I buying this, but it's am I adding something to it? And you're making that decision over and over again every day. And I think that's the part that took me the longest to notice because no one explains it to you. There's no moment where someone says, Oh, by the way, this is how it works here. You just slowly adjust until one day it all just feels normal. And that's probably why it stood out to me. Because I'm used to things feeling a bit more, I don't know, finished. You pay and then that's it. But here, you pay, and then there's usually something else. I'll be honest, I don't always handle that moment particularly well. I either overthink it or just press something quickly and hope it was the right option. Which, to be fair, is probably how I've ended up paying for a few things I didn't really mean to. And the strange part is, after a while, you do get used to it. I've caught myself a few times now just tapping through everything without really even thinking about it. Tip, yeah, right. Donation, maybe. Add on, yeah, why not? And then later I get home and have a quiet moment with myself about what I just did. Now there's also a social side to this. It's that moment when the screen turns around and you're aware someone might be watching. You don't want to press no tip too confidently. You don't want to look like that guy. So sometimes you hesitate just enough to make it feel like you've considered it all properly. And this actually happened to me the other day at Cracker Barrel. I went up to the counter to pay, and the screen gives me the 18, 20, 25% different options again. And in my head, I'm thinking, I don't think this was an 18% experience. I mean, the guy forgot our biscuits and the girls didn't get half the food they wanted. But the girl's standing there watching me, and suddenly I'm not making a financial decision anymore. I'm making a social one. And I just went with 18% because it felt like the safest option at the time. And that's when it clicked for me, though. It's not really about money, it's about how often you're asked to think about money in small ways, repeatedly. And there's something interesting about that because the amounts, you know, they're small, but the frequency is high, and that combination quietly shapes how you spend, not in some dramatic way, it's just gradually over time. Every now and then, I'll still have that moment. Standing there at a checkout, looking at the screen, thinking, I didn't grow up with this. And then pressing something anyway. I actually spoke about a moment like that in this week's podcast on iTunes and Spotify. Just those small everyday things that don't seem like much at the time, but end up saying more than what you expect. And it's funny, because when you move countries, you expect the big differences. You know, the obvious ones, health insurance, crime, whatever. But it's the small habits like this, the quiet ones that slowly change how you think over time. And then after a while, you stop noticing them. Which is probably why they work. Or I've just adapted. But either way, my bank account definitely noticed first. Say if you'd like to shout me a coffee, there's a link in the description. You better take cover.