THE MILK
Welcome to The Milk- the podcast that pours it all out: the messy, the magical, & the mildly unhinged moments of motherhood and womanhood. Real talk, honest stories, and reminders that none of us really know exactly what we’re doing- and that’s kinda the best part! I’m Tayla- your host and mom of soon to be three. So let’s laugh, learn, and milk this season of life for all that it’s worth.
THE MILK
It’s a GIRL! 🎀 The Ultrasound "Slip-Up" & Why We Didn't Wait Until Birth I Episode 6
The news is finally out, we’re having a baby girl & we are on cloud9! In this episode, I share the backstory behind our donut-box gender reveal and how an unexpected ultrasound slip changed our plan to wait until birth. Sometimes it’s the most simple, unplanned moments that bring the most joy, excitement & forever memories to our lives.
• why we nixed our plan to wait to find out the gender until birth
• how Scotty chose a simple, kid-centered reveal at home to surprise me
• Aspen’s strong intuition and big-sister energy
• preparing Bash for change and easing separation anxiety
• managing high-risk care and frequent ultrasounds
• my pros and cons list of when to find out the gender
• telling our families and the Mexico golf reveal plan for my parents
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Welcome to The Milk, the podcast that pours it all out. The messy, the magical, and the mildly unhinged moments of motherhood and womanhood. Real talk, honest stories, and reminders that none of us really know exactly what we're doing. And that's kind of the best part. I'm Taylor, your host and soon-to-be mom of three. So let's laugh, learn, and milk this season of life for all that it's worth. Hi everyone. I woke up this morning and just felt inspired to make like a little gender reveal follow-up mini podcast episode just because I feel like I totally blacked out in the previous episode where I was just in such shock at what was going on. It was like a euphoric moment. And then after I was like, wait, I barely said goodbye to you guys and just felt so silly. So I was like, you know what? Like, we kind of need to debrief after everything you guys listened or watched. I feel like it was so all over the place. Um, but I still need to go back and listen and watch everything. But the news is out. I cannot believe that I'm having a little baby girl. It was such a surprise. Scotty and I, when we were thinking of doing a gender reveal, I'll get to like, I need to rewind. Our plan was always to wait till birth with our third. We have one of each, a boy and a girl. So we're like, you know what? Why don't we just wait and have a totally new, different kind of surprise? And so we were so gung-ho on that. And then we accidentally had a little slip-up at our doctor's appointment. And so we kind of had to like process that and be like, okay, we don't know for sure, but we might have to shift our plan and improvise a little bit. So that's when we decided to be like, okay, let's just rip the band-aid off and let's just find out. So when it came to what we wanted to do for a gender reveal that was kind of just like thrown at us, because our kids are at the age where they can like fully understand and be a part of things now. I really wanted it to be focused around them and just something super simple and childlike. And they're just obsessed with donuts. So Scotty and I always had the plan of just like having a casual day, maybe like a weekend or something, where we just opened up a box of donuts with the kids and it either said it's a girl or it's a boy or was in like blue or pink icing. So that was always our initial plan. But I feel like Scotty decided to surprise me with what we had already planned on the podcast live, which, oh my gosh, I was, I was literally sweating. My heart was beating through my chest. Um, I feel like he did that because he felt like part of the surprise was spoiled for us a little bit when it came to what happened at our ultrasound. So I think he wanted to kind of still add in an element of surprise for me because it was something that I like really wanted to wait till birth. But life had other plans. And yes, we were like a little bummed when it first happened. But at the same time, it was still such a surprise when we did the gender reveal because you always are like, is it that or is it not that? And I felt like I had no idea opening up that box. And so it was just such a fun, simple, little intimate gender reveal, even though it was live on camera. Um, Scotty's in like the media world. So of course he came up with the idea to be like, I'm gonna catch her when she's most off guard and she's like in her element podcasting. So that was pretty fun. I can't wait to go back and watch all of the footage. Uh by now, I've already watched it, and you guys have seen it yourselves. So, yes, we are having a little baby girl. Aspen is getting a little sister. Bash is getting a little sister, and I'm just so excited. I mean, I was so happy either way. I feel like there's pros and cons to both. It would have been so awesome to also give Bash a brother so close in age. They'd be two grades apart. They would have been able to be like in high school and college together, and I'm getting ahead of myself. But that would have been really sweet too to have two boys back to back and on potentially on the same sports teams, which Scotty was like so excited about too at the idea. But, you know, I think there's pros and cons at both. I think I have sisters, and a sister bond is so special. And so I'm so excited that Aspen gets to experience that. And I feel like Bash is gonna be the best older brother to a little girl. He gets an older sister and he gets a younger sister. He's like smack dabbed in the middle of two girls. Poor him. But I feel like from like, I don't know, I feel like other people will agree with this, but the best boys are brought up in a household with sisters. At least I like the greatest guys that I've come across. It's like they know how to treat a woman a little bit better. They're not like such dirtbags. I might be like generalizing, but I swear when I was, I could always tell the boys that had sisters and especially like multiple sisters, than the ones that didn't. And so I'm excited for the two girls to kind of like shape him and mold him into a man deserving of an amazing partner someday, which like he's literally two years old, but I like plan out their lives for them secretly. Um, so yeah. Also, something I have to talk about is Aspen's intuition. So she was literally the first person that found out I was pregnant. She was with me when I took the pregnancy test. And from day one, she said it was a girl. And like she never strayed. At one point, I think she like jokingly strayed all of a sudden in the car from school. She's like, it's a boy now. I'm like, what? You've been so gung-ho it being a girl. And then she like flipped back. But you could tell when she was like messing with me by like her smirk. Um, she has this little smirk when she's like testing you. I don't know if your kids have the same, but it's like, you know, when they're just trying to like get under your skin or like say something to get a reaction. But anyway, she was every single day and she would call it a her. And I just felt really bad because at I was so convinced that it was a boy. And so I was just like trying to be like it, it, or like whatever baby is, to kind of say, like, we're happy with a boy or a girl. All we want is really like a healthy baby. Um, but she was just so confident and she said her and just that it was a girl with so much conviction that I'm like, you go, girl. So when we opened the box and we saw the pink, the first thing she says is, I was right. And Bash, it was so funny. It's like he was, he, I don't know if he fully understood like what we were doing, but he was just so excited to see the donuts. So he was like just as excited, but his eyes lit up because it was like donut land right in front of him. And then Aspen and him, like, once the cameras were cut off, um, they were just like jumping off the top of our bed, yelling, it's a girl, it's a girl, like while like having mouthfuls of donuts. And Bash was saying, It's a girl. I'm like, You have no idea. You would have probably wanted a brother if you knew what we were actually doing. But it was just like the cutest thing. We were just giggling and laughing and just rolling on the bed. And Scotty was just like, oh gosh, I'm outnumbered now, like with girls, not just kids. Now it's girls too. So it was such a special little moment for our family. And I just loved how we did it. So simple and intimate this time. And just like in bed, it's like how I always envisioned it when you have such a big family and just like centering it around your family. Like the first time's so fun because it's just you and your partner. But then as your family expands and grows, and as your kids get older, to be able to like actually enjoy the meaning behind it was really special. It's kind of like how the holidays have felt um with having kids. It's like you do it not just for yourselves anymore, you do it for the entire family. Also, for a little more context. So um, I'll get to this story, but I posted the reel asking you guys what I should do, if I should still, if we should continue to wait till birth, or if we should find out now just with the pros and cons. And like a little behind the scenes, I took this video out of like sheer panic and just confusion over being so torn on what to do. This happened right after we had a slip up at the doctor. And I was just trying to process it and be like, oh my gosh, I really have no idea what to do. I just like need some insight from people. It was interesting, like the different perspectives really got to me. Like, I feel like the majority of people said to wait, but they also didn't know that we kind of already found out a little bit. Like, we didn't know for sure. But um, yeah, and then but there were some really good perspectives and like in a perfect world, we would have waited till birth. Um, something that someone or a few people brought up, which I thought was a great point for people considering waiting when you already have kids, is that it would it made it more special and an easier adjustment finding out the gender when you had other kids just so they like got familiar with it wasn't as big of a surprise, I guess, when the baby came. It's like they already knew it was a girl or a boy, or like maybe you had the specific name picked out already so that you could start calling the baby that name to build familiarity so it's not as much of a shock. So that's something I that I resonated with and I took into consideration, especially with Bash. I'm I've I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous for the transition, adding in another baby right below him just because he is such like my baby, and he is like, he's been a velcro baby, a velcro toddler, and all he really wants is me. And I think I've touched on that before, but he has a lot of separation anxiety, things that we um will be speaking with a psychiatrist about where he acts very different when I'm there. Like he doesn't want anyone else, he doesn't want Scotty, he does like nothing, no one can touch him. Everything has to be done by me. But if I'm out of the picture, he's totally fine with you know our nanny or with Scotty or with family. Like he's completely fine. So he is just, he just loves on me so much and it's such a blessing. But at the same time, it does add an element of worry when it comes to adding another kid in. So ultimately, I what I am excited that we found out early just to help him with the transition, talking about his baby sister and whatnot. So um, in a perfect world, we probably would have waited, but I'm also like so happy that we found out. Um, either way, just because like life is so chaotic and I definitely feel way more at ease this time, but I do love planning. So, like I'm excited to get the nursery put together. It really helps shave down our name options because when we, I mean, we spent half our pregnancy trying to brainstorm names for both genders. And I was like, oh my gosh, I feel so in over my head. Like now we have twice as much work to do when it comes to thinking of names. Like, names is hard enough. Now we have to have a list for girls and for boys. Like we didn't just have one for either. We this one's been really hard trying to think of names. So um, like we have we have like a loose list, but none of them were like, absolutely, this is it. So now it feels like a little less overwhelming that we're like, okay, we can just stick to one list and work off of that. Okay, so I want to get in to the reason why we decided to find out the gender and like what happened at this ultrasound. Because we ultimately made the decision to just find out, just because I feel like before, like we had no idea. I was so positive that it was going to be a boy. I I don't know. I just felt like, of course, I'm gonna get two back-to-back boys that are so crazy. I'm gonna be so in over my head. I just felt like I don't know, I just did not feel like I, I don't want to say like deserving of another girl, but it's like I, I don't know, I just didn't feel like that was in my cards. And so I just really felt like I was having another boy and people were telling me that, and my symptoms were all over the place. So it was like really hard to tell. Um, but then when we had the ultrasound, and our pretty much what happened was our ultrasound technician accidentally said, Oh, look at her little arms. And every single appointment before then, like I was the crazy mom that was like, we don't know the gender before. Like before walking in the door, I was like, just remind you, we don't know the gender. And um, I always felt so like annoying and just obnoxious doing that. And it was also written at the top of our chart. Like we made it very apparent, or they were the ones who volunteered to do that. They're like, oh, we'll put that at the top. And when we found out, or when this slip up happened, it was the one appointment that I didn't say something at the beginning just because it was pretty hectic. Like we had the kids with us for the first time, and also I just like felt a little annoying, like coming in with like all the kids are like, we don't know the gender. I don't know. I was just like, you know, um, I don't know, feeling insecure about myself being like annoying. And so is the one time we didn't say anything, and there was so much going on, the kids were there, and we're sitting there, and like we have the video, Scotty and I are both recording, and the the woman just goes, Oh, and look at her little arm or look at her little leg. I can't remember exactly what it was. And I'm just like smiling, the hot like full, just like stomach sinks. Like, did she really just do that? But at the same time, and then this was the part where like I it could have gone both ways because when I said immediately, I was like, just to remind you, like we don't know the gender yet. And I feel like a lot of the time, and especially in my previous pregnancies, ultrasound technicians use he or she um interchangeably, you know, like sometimes, like I remember with Aspen, they would say he, or with bash, she, and it ended up being a boy or a girl, whatever. So, like when she said she, it was kind of like, oh, like, was she just saying she, or is it actually a she? So I still like we still didn't really know. Um, and then, but her reaction when um I said, like, we still don't know the gender, she kind of like you could see the sheer panic, and it was like, oh yeah, yeah, okay, we're gonna go over here. And so we were like, oh my gosh. So like maybe she did actually genuinely slip up. Um, so it was like a little disappointing, but at the same time, like all you want is a healthy baby. And of course, like the one fear that I have of like it slipping up by an ultrasound technician, it happens. I mean, I get ultrasounds so much more often than just like normal pregnant women do, um, or normal pregnancies, um, because I'm high risk and I have shortening cervix issues where it's called an incompetent cervix. I think I spoke about this in another episode, but um, so they have to monitor me every two weeks. So I'm getting them. So it's just so many more opportunities for something to be slipped. Um, but of course that happens to me after like that. Was one of my biggest fears, and I talk about it, and I I don't know if I manifested that out loud, but at the same time, like, like I feel like your plans, like it's not like a failure, just like evolved and it just happened a different way. So it's really not that big of a deal. Um, but yes, we did want to wait till birth, but that's why we ended up finding out early. Oh, sorry, I have like the worst pregnancy brain right now. So the reason why we decided to find out was because we felt, or I just kind of felt like the big part of the surprise was kind of like muddied a little bit where it almost felt a little bit like a loser situation when it came to the end of waiting nine and a half months. It's either like the baby comes out and it's a girl, and they're like, oh yeah, like we kind of knew the whole time, or it was like it comes out and it's a boy and you've prepared your whole pregnancy, like kind of thinking that it's a girl the whole time. It's like, yes, that would have been like a crazy surprise, but also it's like it would have to take some training of like, okay, that meant like letting go and shedding the expectations that you're having a girl and then you know, building that up again for like being so excited for your son. So we're like, you know what? For peace of mind, let's just find out. It'll be fun. The kids will be excited. So that's my big spiel on finding out the gender. So yeah, I am so excited to have another little girl. It's funny because yes, I have Aspen, and um, it was so exciting having a girl her time. I mean, it was just like a dream come true. I feel like most women moms want to have a little girl. Um, but in a silly way, I kind of felt like that experience was slightly robbed a little bit in my first time around as a first-time parent because Aspen had colic for the first six months of her life. So she was, I kid you not, screaming bloody murder from the first day in the hospital up until six months, every waking minute. And I feel like I've I've talked about this before, but maybe not. Um, or at least on this, not not on this new podcast. But so it was so hard to enjoy the first six months after giving birth because we could not go anywhere. We couldn't even walk down a block of the street without her screaming and us U-turning and just going back into the house. So we literally hibernated for the first six months of her life and we couldn't go anywhere. And so it was like fight or flight mode. And so I never really got to experience that like special first six months with a little girl. Um, so I'm almost excited to have like a little bit of a redo or just a different experience. I would never want to undo my experience with Aspen because like she's the best thing that's ever happened to me into our family. But at the same time, like, oh my gosh, I wonder what it's gonna be like not to fully be running on like the highest cortisol ever, where I'm bawling my eyes out every single day. She lived in a diaper. I never put clothes on her because she was constantly screaming. And I'd be rocking her or trying to rock her to sleep for an hour and a half to get 20-minute naps out of her, up until we sleep trained her. So for like the first three, four months of her life for naps, it was so hard. So I'm like, oh my gosh, this experience might be like a little more mellow. And I'm just excited. I'm excited for that. I'm also so excited to just watch Aspen be a big sister for the second time, now that she'll be four years old. I think she'll turn four years old like three weeks before the baby comes. So she's just at like such a different point. I mean, the last time she became a big sister, she was 16 months old. She was a baby herself. And so just the way she talks about how she's going to help with the baby, and she's already said that she'll change the baby's pee-pee diapers, but I have to hand the poop, I have to handle the poo-poo ones. So that's our deal. We'll see if she'll stick with it. I won't actually make her do it, but I love that she has this like sense of responsibility with her baby sister. And I just like she is such a nurturing child, and she's she's a Pisces. So, and I'm a cancer, so we're both water signs. So, like the two of us are just like two peas in a pod with like emotional, we're loving, like we're very like uh, what's the word I'm looking for? And just like touchy-feely with each other. And so it's cute that we get to kind of take on this new baby together as a team. And I'm also very excited to watch how Bash handles it. I actually feel like it's probably for the best that Bash is getting a sister and not a brother, because I feel like that might be it would add an extra competitive element, I think, to the scenario for him, where at least it's a different gender, and he's like, I'm the only son. Um, so we'll see. But I think he'll be a lot more soft and gentle with a little baby sister, so that's exciting too. Also, thank God I saved a lot of Aspen's hand me downs. A lot of them I gave to my Sister, but I did save some boxes of aspens. They might be outdated now, but kids are expensive. And well, I mean, we didn't we weren't fully expecting on having a third. So it's nice that I've I had hand-me-downs from either gender after Aspen and Bash. So I'll have some fun going through those boxes soon. And also I'm just really excited to see Scotty as a girl dad for the second time. Even though he's like such a boy's boy, he is definitely an ultimate girl dad. Like he's just such a he it just brings out like such a sweet, soft side of him. And he's just like the way he treats Aspen and just interacts with her, it's like his little princess pie. And she can almost like do no wrong. Like I always laugh that when in situations when Aspen does something wrong or something, he like lets her off the hook a little easier, is like a little softer. But when Bash does it, it's like, oh shit's going down, you're going straight to timeout. And that's probably like a girl and a boy thing. But I'm just like, special treatment. Aspen gets away with a lot more than Bash. Like if Bash did that, you would put him straight in timeout or you'd give him a talking too. Um, but no, I love it. I think he's such a girl dad and it's so sweet. And I'm just like so excited. It makes like gives me butterflies thinking of him, like seeing him with another baby again, like on his chest, and especially it being a girl. And it's funny because I feel like in an ultimate scenario, like boys kind of want boys and girls want girls when it comes to babies. Um, and I think it's silly for people to think that like gender disappointment's not a thing, or that like gender preference. Um, and I think anyone who fully says, like, I didn't have a preference is lying. I mean, sometimes you genuinely don't, but I think at some point in your life, like you would prefer to have a certain gender. Um, but I truly believe like God gives you what you are meant to have. And even if in the moment you're a little disappointed, like, oh, I really wanted the other gender, like later on in life, it fully makes sense why you got those babies. I mean, with Aspen, like I I was so shocked that she was a girl. I was talking to her like she was a boy in my stomach up until our gender reveal at like 14 or 15 weeks. Um, and so when I saw the pink, it was, it's I can't say like I was disappointed, but I was just in such shock. And I had built, built up this vision that I was having a boy first. And I wanted to, you know, my I come from a family of three girls. So I was like, oh, I really wanted to give my dad like a grandson, um, just to, I don't know, like, because he never had a son. And so when I saw I was a girl, it was like my immediate reaction is, oh my gosh, I hope my dad's not upset, which in hindsight, now I'm like, oh my gosh, that was ridiculous. And my dad is obsessed with aspen. But I do understand like this, the part of like the gender disappointment where you have this idea and then it's something that's completely different. And I definitely had to retrain my brain and expectation of like shedding the thoughts that I was gonna have a boy and then rebuilding it up with the excitement of having a girl. So yeah, I was genuinely going to be so excited about whatever gender we had. I mean, I feel like so fortunate enough to be able to experience both. But yeah, we'll be adding a little girl to our family come April. Um, it's actually crazy. My parents don't know yet. And so I feel like I've been holding on to this surprise. And I like, I can't talk to them on the phone or anything. Actually, my whole family doesn't know. My sisters don't know. Um, we are leaving for Mexico on a trip in a couple days where we're gonna tell our family all together. So it's just funny that like I've been planning our life on having another girl, but I have to be so careful on the phone, not to be like, oh yeah, her nursery or oh, I ordered this. And so I'm just so excited to get this off my chest and let my parents know we are going to our family house in Mexico, and my parents are obsessed with golf. They play multiple times a week. Um, since my dad has retired and like all the kids are out of the house, that's been their way for their relationship to bond again, and they're just so obsessed with it. So we're doing that fun little gender reveal where they hit the golf ball and it's either pink or blue. Um, so it'll be extra special, especially before the holidays, like finding out that fun news. Um, so I'm excited to tell them. So yeah, I feel like that's it. I just wanted to do like a little debrief after the last video just because I ended it and I was like, I feel like I was so scatterbrained and I had no idea what was going on in the moment. So I'm like, I kind of want to put out a little mini episode um to follow suit for this week. So I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know if you have any questions, DM me. You can comment on this if you're watching on YouTube or if you are listening on Spotify. Also, make sure that you subscribe. Um, it literally just notifies you every time there's a new episode out. And I'll also, I've decided to start putting out more consistent, like mini episodes or two episodes in one week just to play catch up a little bit. So I don't want you to miss any. Our main episode is always scheduled for Tuesdays, but you might be surprised with like a Thursday or Friday episode like you are with this one. So when you subscribe and when you rate the podcast or leave a review, um, it really just helps me grow this community and it makes it more searchable for any moms out there looking for mom podcasts. So if you have a couple minutes free, the best way that you can support me and this podcast is just by like simply leaving a quick review. I love reading them. It warms my heart, hearing from you guys, and just getting to know you all better. So I love getting DMs and chatting with you ladies. So please, please, please reach out if you ever want to just chat or vent or I don't know, have any questions. Thank you guys so much. Happy, happy holidays.
