THE MILK

My 10 Non-Negotiables for 2026: The "2-Out-of-3" Rule, Chore Audits & Why Inner Peace Is The New Productivity | Episode 8

• Tayla Burke • Season 1 • Episode 8

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Happy 2026! If you felt like you hit a wall on January 1st instead of hitting the ground running, this episode is for you. I am planting my flag for the new year -- not with a list of aesthetic resolutions or pressure-filled goals, but with 10 Personal Non-Negotiables designed for a calmer, clearer, and more aligned year. 

In this solo episode, we ease into 2026 by ditching the "New Year, New Me" panic. I break down my personal standards for motherhood, partnerships, and ambition - including why I'm done "keeping score" in my relationship, the specific chore systems that saved my mental load, and why "Inner Peace is the New Productivity." 

Whether you need permission to lower your daily standards (hello, the "2 out of 3" rule), a strategy to time-block your chaos, or just a reminder that "No" is a complete sentence, grab your notebook (or just listen while you drive) and let's build a year that actually feels good. 

In this episode, we cover:

  • The "Soft Launch": Why I ignored the January 1st pressure and how to use the "Camera Roll Method" to find your joy.
  • Motherhood: My "Two Out of Three" Rule for feeling put together and why 10 minutes of presence beats a perfect schedule. 
  • Relationship: Why we don't keep score, we keep systems (and the weekly check-in that prevents resentment). 
  • The Chore Audit: Explicitly dividing household tasks (like the trash vs. the groceries) to eliminate the "Mental Load." 
  • Ambition: How I time-block my actual priorities and conducting a "High Effort, Low Return" audit on my work. 
  • Energy & Boundaries: Why "That doesn't work for us" is a full sentence and quitting one-sided friendships. 

Connect with The Milk:

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  • Review the Show: If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review to help us grow!

Chapter Markers:

00:00 – A Softer Start to 2026: Letting go of Jan 1st Pressure 

06:45 – Reflection: The "Camera Roll" Exercise & Finding Joy 

17:00 – Bucket 1: Motherhood. The "Two Out of Three" Rule & Presence over Perfection 

23:30 – Bucket 2: Partnership. Systems vs. Scorekeeping & The Weekly Check-In 

29:00 – The Chore Audit: Reducing the Mental Load 

34:00 – Bucket 3: Ambition. Time Blocking & The "High Effort, Low Return" Audit 

45:30 – Bucket 4: Me + Energy. 20-Minute Movement & Friendship Boundaries 

55:00 – Rapid Fire: "That doesn't work for us" & Scheduling Joy

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SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to The Milk, the podcast that pours it all out, the messy, the magical, and the mildly unhinged moments of motherhood and womanhood. Real talk, honest stories, and reminders that none of us really know exactly what we're doing. And that's kind of the best part. I'm Tayla, your host, and soon-to-be mom of three. So let's laugh, learn, and milk this season of life for all that it's worth. Hi guys, welcome back to The Milk and happy 2026. Today is a solo episode. I thought it would be fun to pretty much make this episode about planting my flag in the ground of how I want this year to feel for myself in hopes that it inspires or gives clarity to others that are kind of like looking for a little guidance this year. I don't want it perfect. I don't want it aesthetic. My goal is a calmer, clearer, and more aligned year for myself. So today I'm sharing my 2026 non-negotiables. I feel like this is kind of different from my resolutions or goals. I feel like they might trickle in. I really wanted it to be my personal standards for myself, relationships, motherhood, work, body, where I put my energy, etc. So I kind of like made these different buckets and put some non-negotiables under that I'll kind of go through. You by no means have to make these buckets yourself. You can change them, take what you want, leave what doesn't resonate with you. This is just kind of what I came up with that I want to live by. It's kind of like my mantras for the year. And then my goals and my resolutions are kind of built around these. I really wanted to ease into this episode and not have it as our first episode of the year just because I feel like there's so much pressure and expectation we put on ourselves, but also what we see on social media, like the day it turns Jan 1st, that we have to have our shit together. And I've come to realize that, especially since becoming a mom, just because the world turns to another day and it's a new year does not mean that we have to have everything figured out. Because in the past, I don't know if anyone else agrees, but I have always kind of just had this unrealistic expectation that on January 1st I had to have my goals, I had to have my resolutions, I had to have just this year plan of how I'm going to execute this year to my best ability. And I feel like it was just so stressful, and it took the joy out of kind of like a blank canvas of a year, and it's like, why is the first day of the year just like this like unspoken or unwritten law that we have to have everything decided by it? And like I said, since becoming a mom and like everything we do over the holidays, like buying the gifts, wrapping the gifts, hosting, traveling, it's like this year especially, I got so run down that by January 1st I actually felt like I hit a wall and I was so foggy in the head where I was like, why am I trying to push myself to figure out how to be the best person I can be this year on day one? So I decided to kind of ease into this and give myself an extra week. The world survives, we all live on, that's okay to do. So this episode is probably coming out two weeks into January. And if you still don't feel like you found the time to dedicate to figuring out and reflecting on what you want to do this year, that is totally okay. You can do this at any time, which is why I was like, that's okay if I put this out a couple weeks later. I'd rather really give myself the time to reflect on last year, like my key takeaways, what I loved, what I didn't love, and have that just guide me into how I wanted to set up my 2026. Also, a quick pause really fast. If you're listening to this episode and you're like, wait, I want to brainstorm with you, or you want to take notes, or you kind of just want to like run through this on your own and jot things down, feel free to open up your notes app or your journal. Like, I love an old-fashioned journal. I just ordered one. I linked it on my stories, and so many of you guys bought it or say that you use it yourself. I think it's by Papier. I will put it in the description if you need a really good journal. I personally love this one because not only is it just, sorry, I don't even know why I keep saying journal, it's like a calendar schedule, but it has journal components too. So you can put like your weekly or monthly goals and like to-do lists, shopping lists, like there's so many different things that you can do on top of um it just being like your regular calendar slash planner. So it's by paper. I'll link it. It is so good. I also just saw like that for beginning of the year they had it 20% off, I want to say, and I'm assuming that's just because it's the start of a new year when people tend to buy planners. So maybe that's still on sale for you. So check my um description and I'll have the link there. And also, if you're driving, please, dear God, do not try to type or write down or anything while you're driving. Feel free to either pause or listen to this episode and then come back and like re-listen um or just write down your your kind of like afterthoughts after. So if you're driving, this does not, um, I'm not speaking to you on taking notes, but if you're not and you're like, I'm free, I'm available, I want to brainstorm on my own, feel free to write down whatever comes to you. Also, I wanted to take a quick moment before I dive into all this and just remind ourselves how proud January 2025 us would be of January 2026 us. At least for me, I feel like I dive headfirst into a new year that I kind of like forget to reflect or dissect the last year of my life, and I just kind of look at it from a larger picture, and a lot of the time that means that I forget certain things that I've done, or I feel like, oh, I didn't accomplish that much last year, and I need to be better this year. And then when you take the time to really like reflect on everything that you did in the last year, and the best way to do this, I swear, is just by whipping out your camera roll and scrolling through all your pictures because nine times out of ten, there are so many things that you forgot that you did, or achievements that you made, um, or just like little moments that meant a lot to you in the moment that we just kind of like file it in our brain and just forget about it. So, a little exercise after this, I did it and I was like, wait, I totally forgot I did this. This was a goal of mine, and I completely forgot about it. Go through your camera roll or go through your notes, or like even like flip through your calendar and just see all of the things you did, and I guarantee you you'd be so much more surprised at what you accomplished this past year. And if all of what you did last year was either grow a human inside of your body, or begin your motherhood journey, or like deal with postpartum bullshit that that can come up, or just like focus on nourishing your family and your kids, or something like that, that in the grand scheme of things is so big, but you might not feel like you did a lot. That is such a success. Like the fact that we grow a human in our bodies for nine months and then we look back, we're like, oh, all we did was be pregnant. I'm like, holy cow, every day, like I'm I'm out of breath right now of everything I've had to accomplish and do that brought me to this chair right now. And I look back and I'm like, wait, no, that took so much time, energy, effort, and we need to give ourselves so much more credit, especially for women who might have last year just birthed a child and gone through the newborn trenches and like figured it out as a first-time parent. Like, that is a massive success. So if that is the only thing you did last year, please, please, please. This is what I'm going to be bringing into 2026 for myself. I am saying this out loud to remind myself to like hold myself accountable and be like, no, this is your mantra because this is gonna be you in 2026 having another baby. But please remind yourself and just recognize how much effort and everything that you accomplished by doing that. If that is the only thing you achieved last year or the only thing that you think you'll achieve this year. Okay, so that's my little spiel, it's over. Um, wanted to be inspirational for a second because I feel like that's something I need when discussing and thinking about my own 2026. So when reflecting on 2025 for myself, I really wanted to do this to set myself up for 2026, being like, okay, what was my biggest takeaway of 2025 and like what do I want to bring with me into 2026? And I think my biggest overarching theme, or just like something that I learned, is that I was able to find joy again. And that sounds like a little morbid and depressing, but um, in full transparency, I feel like the last few years of my life prior to that, I really struggled with finding joy. And I've talked about after having kids postpartum depression, and I think a lot of this came down to feeling like I lost who I was in my identity, and it was almost like I was a hamster on a wheel trying to chase something that I didn't even know what it was, but I couldn't ever stop, and it was just so exhausting. I didn't have like a line of sight per se, and so it got even more frustrating, and I got even like harder on myself, being like, What am I even chasing? I know there's a void inside of me, but I and I'm trying to get to the other side, but I don't even know where that other side is, if that makes sense. So, um yeah, 2024, I feel like I was the most lost, the most confused in who I was. Granted, I had these amazing kids that brought me joy, but I couldn't find joy within myself. And so 2025 was that completely where I feel like I finally found joy again, and I think a lot of the time like we throw things on our plate, like we add things on in hopes of finding more joy or being happy, and I came to realize that where I found joy was removing things from my life, and I only kind of realized that when I reflected on this past year, I'm like, oh my gosh, wait, no, I found joy because I took this off out of my life. I removed it from my life, I removed it from my plate and my stressors rather than being like, I need to be happy, I need to go do this, and I need to start doing this hobby, and I need to, you know, go do this and that. And in hindsight, like when I would do that, I feel like I would spiral more where I felt so overwhelmed by like I'm doing all these things and I still can't be happy. Where instead I started shedding certain things that weren't serving me anymore. Um, and that's when I was like, wait, I feel so much lighter and more joyful. And I started making these changes that um were definitely risks in my life, but they definitely paid off. And one of those things was moving um my location where I was before. Like I'm so blessed of where we were, but I felt like so isolated. I didn't have friends around, I didn't have a strong support system, I didn't have a community of other moms or young kids that I could surround myself with. And I think I felt stuck for so long, and I think that caused a lot of like isolation and depression, and just making the decision of like we are never stuck in life. And I think I've said this before, like, even no matter how much we think we are like down a slippery slope, like you can always get out of it. We can always pull up our big girl pants and make scary big decisions, and that's exactly what we did. And I took a risk and it completely paid off, and now we're in the most amazing area we've where we've met so many amazing families and friends, and my kids have new friends, and we love our school, and that was just such a big upgrade for my well-being, my emotional well-being, and just filling up like my friendship cup and like having people who are in the same wave of life around me. Like, oh my gosh, I'm around people that just get it and are going through similar experiences, and you know, we're not in a restaurant with all older adults that kids are in college or they have their own kids, and like our kids are freaking out, we have to run out. It's like I look around everywhere I go and I'm like, okay, you're in this too. Okay, cool. Like, I'm like, we're vibing, we make small talk on the park because both of our kids are losing it, or they're both running around and we're chasing them. And so it's just really nice to be in an area where everywhere you go, you kind of just like are in the same wave of life as people. So that was a big thing that um a big change of this last year that really I saw brought the best parts of me out again. Like I felt like so much lighter and happier and just more positive. And I saw the world, the world just seemed more colorful again, if that makes sense. Um, where I feel like everything was just like a little dull before I started making the changes that I did in 2025. And it also made me realize or remember this quote that I saved off Pinterest, I want to say like a year ago. And I think we can all attest to this or hopefully understand in the future. But when I read it, I was like, oh my gosh, this is so true. So the quote reads, Some years are for questions and some years are for answers. So for me, 2024 was a year of just questions and like being lost and confused and just trying to chase something that I didn't know existed. And then 2025 gave me those answers. So all of my loose ends and question marks from 2024, I feel like I received them in 2025. So I share that because if 2025 was a year of questions or just kind of bumps in the road, I have full faith that this next year will be a year of answers for you. Um, and if not, maybe 2026 could be a year of questions, but getting through that knowing that at some point another year, or it doesn't have to be a new year, but the answers will come. It's like, what is this situation or what is this experience teaching me rather than why am I going through this or why is this happening to me? So 2024 was like my year of why is this happening to me? But okay, I have faith that this is gonna teach me something and lead me somewhere. And then 2025, I wholeheartedly feel like I did get what I needed out of those growth experiences. Okay, so before I know I've been rambling for a bit, but before I dive into my 2026 non-negotiables, I kind of wanted to just touch on the why behind my list because I feel like I have been at fault for making these lists or making these vision boards or these goals every year and just slapping on things that just like sound good or the numbers sound impressive, and I'm like, oh, that sounds good. I want to hit that goal and I want to do this this year. And it's like, okay, but what's the why behind that? And a lot of the time I either failed to do so or I realized halfway through the year of like, oh wait, why did I set that goal? Like that's not even a priority of mine, or it's unrealistic. So my why behind every single non-negotiable on my list is to just live life a little more aligned in everything that I do this year. And this doesn't have to be for everyone. This is just kind of like my word of the year is alignment. Maybe your why is pushing boundaries, making more money, taking big risks. This can be anything that is like the massive overarching theme to your life and your goals this year. So, whatever your why is behind your list or what you want to achieve, like I'm in full support. You go, girl, if you need to go make that money, if you need to go like leave that job or leave that relationship and take a jump, not knowing where your feet will land, 100%. You do you. You can create your own why. I just wanted to share mine. Um, and again, it's alignment. That's just what I want to feel. Like everything I'm doing is coming back to being aligned. Okay, so without further ado, let's get into my top 10 non-negotiables. So I thought because this is my little mom podcast, I thought I would just start with motherhood as my first bucket. My non-negotiable number one is I do not neglect myself or my needs. I know it sounds so simple, but I feel like it is something that we all struggle with, or at least like struggle with maintaining it and being consistent, especially when our kids are involved. And this was like my number one just because I know I'm gonna be having my third kid this year, and it's so easy when you have so much going on. Like the first thing that falls to the waistline for me is always my needs and focusing on what I need to get through the day or filling up my cup or things on my own to-do list because I feel like they are of least importance to everything else that I am trying to do when taking care of my other kids, when raising a newborn, when trying to do things for my relationship or friendships or family. I'm like, okay, I can come later and then that never happens. And I think that's the slippery slope of like where I start to lose myself. It's like it, I let it go on for so long until I kind of crash out. And so this year, my non-negotiable is like, no, my needs matter too. They matter just as much, if not more, because my cup needs to be even half full in order to pour into all of my kids' cups and my relationship and everyone else's cups around me. So for me, this is like a daily reset or something I can start the day doing for myself, or taking breaks, tapping in someone else, and not being afraid to ask for help. I feel like we always think that we should be capable of doing things ourselves as a mom, and if we don't feel like we are, that we're like inadequate, and that's so not the case. Um, someone once told me that raising one child is a one and a half person job, and I was like, that makes so much sense because two people to one kid, I don't want to say it's easy because as someone who has one child, I like remember back in the day being like, damn, this is hard. But now looking back with multiple kids, I'm like, oh my gosh, if there was two of us and one kid, like that was so easy. Um, but but then when it's one kid, one parent to one kid, it's pretty freaking rough. Like you need help. And so I'm always like, yeah, it is a one and a half person job per kid. So never feel guilty for asking for help. So that's something that I'm gonna be doing more. And then also I loved this rule that I saw. It's the two out of three rule, or at least like that's how I just consider it and call it. But every day I want to check off two out of three things when it comes to myself. So these three things are your hair, getting dressed, and your makeup or like skincare routine, whatever you do to feel good, like facial-wise. So as long as you can do two out of those three things, like you are in a great position and it'll make you feel so much better. Like, if I can do my hair and get dressed, incredible. If I can do my hair and makeup, but maybe I'm in pajamas all day, like I will still feel good. But you have to hit two out of those three. And I feel like that's a really good rule because I remember the first time around when I uh had aspen, I was just constantly a mess, and everything felt like a mess in my life. Everything. My brain, my hormones, my emotions, my everything. And of course, like you don't realize until you actually put yourself together like, oh my gosh, I feel so much better. Like I take a shower, oh I feel so much better. Um, so just making sure I can do two out of three things every single day as much as I can. My second non-negotiable is that one-on-one time with my kids is more important than just doing the most. So, my mantra this year is my kids don't need a perfect mom, they just need a present one. And this is something that I'm a little nervous about incorporating a third child because how on earth do moms balance per se, giving attention to two more like grown up kids and then also a newborn that needs the mom. 24 7. So my goal is to even find 10 minutes in my days to dedicate to each child, aspen and bash, and obviously more time with the baby, to just give them my undivided attention. And I think we sometimes lose sight and think, oh my gosh, I have to give an entire day to my other kids because I feel like I haven't been spending enough time with them and I feel bad and I wonder if they feel neglected. I have noticed that the times when I can even just find a smidge of time, five, ten minutes, 15, 30 if I'm lucky, and just if it's doing cars down Bash's Hot Wheels thing with him, or one time I took Aspen for frozen yogurt. Bash had a late nap, he kept napping, and I didn't have anything pressing on my work-to-do list. Like I definitely could have kept working, and I usually would, right? And when I'm like, okay, I have like a little bit of a lighter list, I'm always like, okay, what can I get done now? And so Aspen was awake and I walked by her in the kitchen with our nanny, and I looked at her and on a whim, I was just like, Hey, do you want to go on a mommy-daughter date? Do you want to go on a girls date? Should we go get ice cream? And the way her face lit up, it was like she didn't, she couldn't believe what just came out of my mouth. And so she got so excited, she threw on her boots and her sweater, and we just went down the road and got some frozen yogurt. And I swear we sat there for 15-20 minutes, and she did not wipe the smile off her face the entire time. And she just kept like looking at me with these like googlyest eyes and just being like, I love you so much, mommy. We're on a girl's date, and it made me realize, like, oh my gosh, I don't do this enough. And as something is giving 30 minutes of my time and 10 bucks out of my wallet to make my daughter's day and week, probably, was just it was the best quality time, and I was like, okay, I don't need to bend over backwards constantly to do enough for my kids. Like their cup overflows with just even the smallest amount of time. So even 10 minutes is more than enough. However, many minutes or hours you can give to your kids, like that is all that they need. And so that was like a great reminder for me of like, okay, this is these are the type of like micro moments that I want to make sure that I give Aspen and Bash when the new baby comes along. So I don't have to be doing the absolute most. I don't have to plan a day to Disneyland. I don't have to go like plan another family trip or I don't know, Disney on ice, like all the things that like I would love to do, but realistically, can we do that every month? No, we can't. And so just finding those little moments, going to the park, going on a walk with one or both is something that I'm really committed to doing this year. Okay, so my second bucket is marriage slash partnership. I wanted to put this bucket second just because of where I'm at in my life. And again, I keep referring to the baby that we're gonna have in April, but it is kind of like it is a little bit of a shock to the system. Like, I feel like we've been out of the baby phase for so long that I'm like, I want to make sure that our relationship is a top priority because it is something that, in full transparency, like we've had bumps in the road after with having kids. Like everyone, you know, in the last episode with Sammy, like I love the perspective of her saying that having kids brought her and her relationship closer together, which it was so nice and refreshing to hear that perspective, but I also don't feel like that's the majority of relationships. So I really want to shine a light on the fact that, like, yeah, like relationships can struggle when introducing kids. I want to have a therapist, actually my therapist, on um an episode coming up to talk about how common, I think it's like the most common years for divorce in relationships is the first like two years in a child in their child's life or something like that. And it makes so much sense because your relationship was one thing before having kids, and then after it kind of like flips upside down where everything is just all up in the air, and what you used to do and how you used to communicate can kind of change and shift, and resentment can um be built, and you know, roles and responsibilities change, and so, anyways, I'm rambling. I really wanted to still have um my relationship at the top of this list of non-negotiables for 2026, even before getting into my career. So, my next non-negotiable is we don't keep score, we keep systems, and pretty much to me this means like making sure that we have as sound household systems as we can to really just like avoid resentment um or things slipping through the cracks. And so, what Scotty and I have sought out to do this year, and we've kind of like tested out in the past, but we haven't been consistent, and I'm like, this is the year we are consistent with this, it's kind of like a weekly meeting check-in, and so the kind of the overarching theme of it is like okay, what do you need from me and what do I need from you in order to have a successful week where we both feel supported, and so we've decided that we were we're gonna slot this into our calendars like any other work meeting that we have, and it's not gonna slip through the cracks. So we're still kind of trying to like figure out when it's gonna be ideally, it would be on a Sunday, but like I feel like we're always doing so much with the kids, and the only alone time we have is either during nap time, but also Aspen's like almost not napping anymore, or when they're asleep, and after like a crazy weekend, I'm like, okay, are we really gonna want to do this from like 8 to 9 p.m.? So we're gonna workshop it. I think we're gonna try to do this for a one-hour slot on Sundays because that's the best way to kind of set up the week, or maybe it's like at the end of Fridays before the end that work week for the next one. Anyways, if you like this idea, like schedule it whenever works for you. And um, it doesn't even have to be just in your career. It could be, I mean, this is you know, family systems of things that we have going on. So, like, this is to me how I envision this working is okay, let's go through everything on his personal calendar and let's go through everything on my personal calendar, and then let's go through everything on like our shared calendar. If it has to do with the kids, maybe there's a dance recital, maybe there's you know an Easter class party or whatever it is. And so, pretty much we run through every single thing and like how that would impact the other person, like if it's going to, um, or just kind of understanding what each other have on our plates, because sometimes you don't know how much is on your partner's plate, like it seems a lot less, or you're like, oh, well, you could pick up more slack this week, and it's like, okay, well, look what's on their on their calendar, or vice versa, type of thing, or like, oh, you don't seem to be doing much this week, but it's like you have no idea. So it's just a nice way to see what's on each other's plates and then figuring out how to support each other. So, like some of the examples that I was just brainstorming or things that we've run into in the past, it's like maybe there's an overlapping week where Scotty is on a work trip filming and I have to be in LA for a podcast recording day. And okay, well, if that's the scenario, then who's gonna pick Aspen up from school? Do we need a family member too? Do we need to figure we gotta figure that out somehow? Or if I have like a 5 p.m. friend's birthday dinner that I really want to go to, okay, I need to ask Scotty, can I cover can you cover my bases and can you stop working at five or six? Or if not, if that day's really slammed for you, can we extend an extra hour with our nanny to make sure that she can make dinner or get them started before I can come home or before he can get off work? Or other scenarios that I I'm faced with, I feel like there are certain weeks where Scotty is checked out or almost MIA for the entire week working till like 2 or 3 a.m. And if that's the case, that means he has to sleep in a lot more in the mornings to be able to take on the next day. So, okay, if this week I will probably be doing every single morning on my own, I just want a heads up of like, okay, I just want to like mentally prepare myself and not have and just kind of like lower my expectations for my partner. I feel like that's all it takes for me. It's like I just want someone to communicate and just like give me a heads up, and that's how I know that they're thinking of me. Like I'm totally fine picking up the slack some weeks because I know other weeks if I have a busy week that he'll be doing the same for me. But something that's really important for me is just to get the heads up, so I'm just like prepared for it. So, anyways, yeah, I'm really excited for this weekly kind of like touch-based meeting in a relationship to just make sure we're both feeling supported by each other and just understand everything that we both have and go have going on individually and together. Um, I feel like relationships are all about give and take, right? So, like some weeks you'll be picking up the slack more, and other weeks your partner will, but it's just making sure like it never has to be 50-50. In my eyes, I feel like that's so impossible, and I feel like that's such an unrealistic expectation, but I do think it's like a give and take like um kind of situation. Okay, number four feels a little savage, but I do think it's true, and I think a lot of moms might love this one, and it's I don't do every chore in the house. That's my non-negotiable. This is me like putting my foot down. Um, and not saying I always have at all, like Scotty helps out so much, but I think it's taken a while for us to find our footing and who handles what. It's almost like those unspoken or unwritten rules of the house. Um, and there's like explicit handoffs, right? Of I don't know if anyone else does this, but something that I think we've like naturally done, but I'm like, wait a minute, we need to like actually talk about how far we've come in this because it is something that has kind of transformed our household and like we can always get better. And I still think there's room for um improvement, but something that we have incorporated is splitting up certain household chores where the other person does not think about it. So there are certain responsibilities that Scotty handles that I never think about, I hardly ever ask about, and there are certain things that I personally do and my roles and responsibilities that he does not even probably like it doesn't cross his mind. And the reason why we do this or the benefit I've found from doing so, it's like especially for moms, it helps lessen my mental load in the day. Like it takes away the oh, did he do this or did she do this? Like I did it this week, is it are they gonna do it this week? It's like no, no, no. If you own that chore, that is yours, and I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to see it, I don't want to ask about it. That is just yours. Okay, so I'll throw out some examples. So one example is taking out the trash, and this includes like emptying our kitchen trash and then also taking out the trash cans on Sundays. This is Scotty's job, because I mean trash for girls. Like I'll do it, but I'm sorry, it's more of a boy job, especially when it comes to like the dirty diapers. Like I change most of the diapers, like sir, you can take them out. Um, but I know I don't even have to ask if he's like, oh shoot, did you remember to take the trash cans out on Sundays? Or oh hey, can you can you empty the trash? It's getting full. Like that is 100% his job, and I just love that for him. Example number two on my side. I am responsible for keeping the house stocked with food and then also making the meals. So I do all the the weekly groceries, I make sure that the kids' lunches are made and packed. Um, Scotty doesn't even have to think about dinners. All those things, like it is my responsibility. So he doesn't have to worry in his work day, like, oh, like what are the kids gonna have for dinner? Or are at late at night of like, oh, like what are we making the kids for breakfast or in their lunch boxes? That part is just kind of handled, and that's something that he never has to think about, which is pretty nice. Okay, some other things. Scotty handles all of our utilities. I see those envelopes in the mail, and I just act oblivious. I don't have to open them. Ignorance is bliss, that's on his list. Whereas on my list, I'm the one that restocks the diapers, the wipes, if the kids run out or if they uh grow out of a size 2T, I know to restock certain clothes in a 3T or I know their shoe size. Like Scotty doesn't know their shoe size if I were to ask him that. And I also don't expect him to because he has other things on his plate that I don't think about either. Other things you can do this for is who does the dishes, who does the laundry. Maybe you have pets and it's okay who walks the dog or who cleans the dog poop up outside. This is a reason why I do not have a pet, and we probably won't for a while because like I feel like it's like having another child. Like someone has to do it, and it's like such a big part of the mental load that I'm like, okay, I can't take that on right now, and Scotty can't take that on right now. So, like a pet is off the table for us, but maybe it's you guys have pets of your own or had them before kids. Other things like cleaning certain areas of the house, or who does the closing shift of putting all the toys away at the end of the night, or who go rummages through all the toys and throws away the broken ones and purges. Um, or another big one is who organizes travel plans, like books the tickets, books the hotels, figures out where you're going and all the logistics of that. I think that's like such a headache. I'll handle some of it, but then like I get to an airport and like I'm like that girl, I'll take care of the kids, and Scotty's just like leading us, and I'm just following, making sure the kids are happy and fed and are situated. So, like those are the types of things that you can um divide and then just take off your mental load. So, yeah, I hope you get the idea. Okay, so my bucket number three is my work and ambition, and so my non-negotiable number five is that my calendar reflects my real priorities. So this is something I've done for so long, but I feel like the last year I probably haven't done as well. And my goal is to get so much better at this, but I used to build out my week calendar on Sundays before the week started, and so that's something I really, really, really want to get back into, um, or at least like the night before for certain days. Um, gone are the days where I can successfully build out my day schedule the morning of. I always feel like I get so behind and so pressured, and I'm just like I'm not equipped and prepared for everything that I needed to get done. I'm like, oh shoot, if I'm if I'm like making lunch for Aspen's class party, or if I'm, you know, maybe I have to film some content. Oh shit, I had to go to the grocery store to buy these certain things. Like, I'm always so behind, or maybe it's like, oh, I need to film this podcast. Oh wait, I didn't create the run-of show yet. I'll just be so behind, and nine times out of ten, I never get what I need to get done by doing it the day of, and at the end, I'm just like, okay, I completely failed at that day. It was such a waste. So my new thing is to get back to building out my week schedule on Sundays or at least the night before, so then I can go to bed clear-headed, knowing what's in store for me the next day. And I feel like this can go for any mom. If it's like errands you have to run, chores you have to do, like anything, like a brain dump, word vomit onto your onto paper, like everything you get you need to get done, so you can go to bed sleeping better at night, rather than like worrying about everything you have to get done or like having to remember it. You have it all written down the night before. And also something I want to get better at that falls in this category is time blocking. This is something where, especially with this podcast, um, with things that take a lot of time and energy and maybe um more hours, is dedicating specific days or like chunks of time to doing those things and doing the same things at the same time. So for me, it's like one of the things on my list is Tuesday, Thursdays from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. is my content time. So that's where I know I have to be put together on Tuesdays or Thursdays where my hair has to be washed. I have to put a little bit of makeup on, and it's like okay, anything I have to be filmed will fall into those four hours. And then I have a podcast day. So like I time block like at least half a day for filming, and I try to batch my episodes where I film two episodes at a time, which gives me two weeks of video. So I have two weeks to edit those because I want to say, like every single week, it's at least like 15 hours of work per episode, at least, and that also comes with like figuring out your topics, writing the run-of show, getting guests takes a lot of time. The logistics of booking our studios, editing, creating social assets, creating clips. Like it is there's so much that goes into it that I found that batching is a lot easier. So that's pretty much me dedicating 30 hours of work, uh, starting and batching it in one day, and then having two weeks to get it done. Another thing that's time blocked on my calendar is my school drop-off and my school pickup. So one of those blocks is 1215 to 115 every single day, Monday through Friday. I have it, and it's just like kids. And that is when I leave the house to pick them up. I bring them home, I can get them settled, they can finish their lunch. Um, either I hand them off to our nanny who usually starts at that time, or like today, helping put at least one of them down. Sometimes Aspen likes to try to go for the weakest link, or someone who says who she thinks will allow her to stay up a little past her nap time. And so I have to come in and be like absolutely not get into your bed like we're going down for a nap. So that is my hour that I have every single day in my calendar, and then same with that like 9 to 9:30 every single morning. And the same goes for my workouts. I really try to book my workouts on Sundays for the entire week just because if I don't have it booked, I most likely will fall short and I won't get them done because I need them in my calendar so that I can build my other schedule around them. Because again, that's just one of those things that falls to the waistline. It's like, okay, if I don't have my afternoon 4 to 5 p.m. walk on the calendar, okay, well, I didn't finish this part of my um on my to-do list, I'm gonna do it during that. So time blocks in my workouts ahead of time, not the day of. So by doing all of this, my goal is for it to just allow me to live knowing that if it is on my calendar, it means that it's important to me. And if I don't have it on my calendar, then not saying it's not important to me, but it's like it should reflect my priorities. And so, really taking responsibility and ownership, being like, okay, if there is something that's important to me, make sure that I schedule it into my life, not just like hope and wish that I get it done when I can. Okay, so my next non-negotiable number six under my work and ambition is that I am done doing high effort things for low returns. And this is kind of like I did like a life audit, I guess is what I would call this, where it's measuring what drains you to what pays you. And that could be like pays you in money or like pays you in joy and fulfillment. And words I want to live by this year and pretty much every year is working smarter, not harder. I think nowadays so many people put the word busy on a pedestal and equate it to our success or how hard we're working. Where to me, what I've learned now is that busy isn't a flex, it's just unfiltered yeses that we've just said yes to everything. To keep ourselves busy. And it's just that like added fluff. Like if you look at everything you did in a day, how much of that was useful and how much wasn't? So it's pretty much about like filtering out that fluff and focusing on the things that will lead you to your goals. And so it's like, what is that, what is that one book where it's like, is it the 10-hour work week or like something like that? I can't really remember. Um, 10 or 20-hour work week, I don't know, five-hour work week. I don't know, you guys probably know exactly what I'm talking about. It's something like that. But it's like you don't have to, I mean, we granted a lot of us work 40 plus hours a week. Um, but I think the entire the thing is like you can get so much done in less time if you're just doing the right things. And I feel like I'm a notorious people pleaser or I fall victim to solely doing things for other people's happiness because that really does bring me so much joy and happiness, like making other people happy. But then so much of the time after I do that, I'm like, wait, was that really necessary or was that really the best use of my time? And I think this all comes down to again, like when you have kids, you have so much less time that like what you are focusing on is so much more important, where you have to make sure that you are dedicating those those little hours that you have to the right things. So to relate this to career, my dad has always asked me in everything that I've done, like, okay, what can you do where you can make the most amount of money in the least amount of time? And that sounds so like chasing money, but I think it's like a balance between that and your purpose and what brings you joy. So pretty much like if you have 10 hours only, like what can you do to make the most out of those 10 hours? And another part of this is like getting comfortable with flexing your no muscle or saying yes more if you're someone that just is afraid of taking risks too. I think there's two types of people, like people that say no to taking risks because they're unsure of where they're gonna land, and then people that just say yes to everything because they're like, oh, that sounds fun, that sounds fun, that sounds fun, and then they spin out and they're like, wait a minute, I've said yes to everything, I've overcommitted, and I am, my cortisol is high and I am crashing out. So maybe your goal this year is like saying yes to more things and taking bigger risks because like you've seen that there's a war reward on the other side, but you're just a little nervous to take those jumps. Maybe it's like you've been in a stagnant job and you've been making the same for so many years, and like there are other positions out there, other roles that you're like, oh, I would love to do this. I know it would fulfill me more, or I know that I would be making more money for like what I'm actually providing, but like you're scared to make that jump. Maybe that it this is the year where you're saying yes to that, or maybe it's the year where your social battery is already running so low and you have been notorious for saying yes to things that like don't really serve you or kind of not the best use of your time. Maybe it's like you don't really have to be going here, you don't really have to be doing that. Maybe this is the year to be like, I'm gonna protect my energy and my time and my work, and I'm just gonna start saying no without feeling guilty and respectfully, but it's like, no, I can't make that, or no, I shouldn't, you know, I shouldn't be doing that this year. Um, so yeah, I feel like either saying yes more or like getting more comfortable with saying no. Okay, my last bucket, I just kind of named like me plus energy because I feel like it's like putting energy into all different areas of my life. So the first one is my energy and movement, and my non-negotiable is I have time to move my body daily. And I know as moms, the days go by so quickly. It's like you blink and all of a sudden four hours has gone by and you're like, okay, I have zero time to do anything. Um, but I feel like what I need to be better at is knowing that even 20 minutes is enough. Like you can move your body for 20 minutes. We can all find 20 minutes in our day, even if it's like throwing a kid in a stroller and just walking out and just walking outside, either like listening to a podcast or like calling someone you haven't talked to in a while. Just 20 minutes, like I will still feel good about myself if it's just 20 minutes of walking. Just anything is better than nothing. I think so often I'm like, oh, I need to find an hour and a half of my day so I can go drive to workout class, do a workout class, and drive back. And if I can't find that hour and a half, I'm like, can't working out today. But in reality, like I could literally go in my garage with my two weights or and like put on a YouTube or put on an app by like I love Katrina Scott, I love Megan Rupe, like I could put on a little quickie workout and do that and still feel just as fulfilled in that category of my life. But for some reason, it's like I always think I need an hour and a half in my day to do so, where it's like, no, in reality, this this year I'm going to live by the words that like I only need 20 minutes in a day to move my body. And if I can do more, incredible, amazing. My goal is more. But if I can only find 20 minutes, that's still a super big success to me. Okay, number eight is my energy in friendships. And my non-negotiable is that I will not waste energy on friendships that do not put a similar amount of energy back into me. I no longer have the time for one-sided friendships. And I'm sure a lot of you felt that way over the years too, where there's been friendships where you're always the one to pick up the phone or send the text to check in or organize seeing each other on the rare occasion. And it gets exhausting. It's like living in a relationship where you're giving everything and you're not getting close to the same in return. And I get it. Like we are all so busy and our schedules are constantly packed. It's like we feel like we never have a free day to see people. And that's totally okay. I'm not talking about those scenarios. Like, there's times where I'm like, oh my gosh, I want to see my friend. Oh, are you free in four weeks? Like, I totally get that. Um, but I think it's just being intentional and like uh while being understanding that, like, yes, we're all busy people, but like you just know the feeling. Like you know the feeling when there's effort being put on both sides, and I just don't have time anymore for the friendships that where people don't ask how you're doing or how your day is, or like you have phone calls with them, and it's like all they're talking about is themselves. And I will do that. And if I love, love, love, love, love the friend, like I will do that, of course. But I feel like it shouldn't always be like that. I feel like you guys should be cheering on each other equally, but I feel like we shouldn't feel like we are the only one fueling that friendship. Also, I've come to realize that there is a huge difference between friends that just say that they support you and other friends that actually show it and show up for you. You might have experienced this in your life, but there are some friends that just pretend that they want you to win, but they only care for you to win as long as they're winning as well. And if they're not, then they're secretly not supporting you, even if they say they do. It's like a relationship too. It's like, why are your words and your actions not aligning? And life is too short to be around fickle friends, right? Like, especially with our limited amount of time. Like, I want friends that will clap for me when when it's not their turn to be clapped for, and vice versa. Like when I see friends that are winning, I'm like, okay, I'm in the trenches of having kids and you don't have kids, but you are killing it at life. Like, I'm going to clap the loudest for you. And so there's a time for everyone to win, and I truly feel like everyone can win. And there is, it's more of a feast than a famine. And I just want friendships in my life that reflect that. So in 2026, I'm learning that if my friendship circle gets smaller, that's totally okay. It just means that it's also going to get stronger as well. Okay, my non-negotiable number nine, this is in me plus boundaries. And this is as simple as I don't need to overexplain my boundaries. So that doesn't work for us, is a full sentence. I don't have to give a spiel or be asked 20 questions as to why I can't make this event or why I can't show up to this party or why I can't, I don't know, help out at something. I want to make sure that I feel like I can release any guilt around just setting up boundaries. And this doesn't like mean boundaries or anything. It's like I just don't want to overextend myself and burn out. So, but like, but and I don't want to feel guilty or guilted by other people if I were to say no and respectfully decline certain things. And also I learned that like if someone has a problem with a certain boundary that you're creating, if it's like a family member or a friend or I don't know, anyone, it says more about them than it does you. It's like that is that that's their energy to own. Um you saying no to something doesn't really significantly impact their life. So that's a problem with them. It's not a problem with you. And number 10, a little more lighthearted. This is just me plus chasing joy. And my non-negotiable is more fun, more softness, and more simplicity. And this is like scheduled joy. Like I want to make time for friend dates and even solo dates, hobbies. I really want to get into like uh pottery or just painting more. I used to take like high um, like AP, what is it, AP art in high school, which like I was definitely, I don't know how I snuck into that one. Um, but I loved the creative outlet and I just feel like that's something that I don't do anymore. And so it's something that I really want to do to like spark joy and just those like simple moments where I feel like we put so much pressure on ourselves, being like, we have to book a vacation, have something to look forward to or to like be happy about, or and and like that's great. Yeah, that does bring so much joy, but like I really want to try and find joy in the like simple, mundane daily parts of life. So to me, inner peace is the new productivity. That's what I want to live by this year. I just want to do things and make sure I schedule joy and things that just bring me inner peace in life this year. So I can sleep soundly at night. I like love the saying where it's like, well, that sucks because like I sleep great at night. I don't have any worries at night. And that is just like that's what I want to, that's how I want to live. I want to go to bed at night, knowing that I did a job well done that day. My kids and my family and my friends, everyone is healthy. I'm being the best person I can be. I'm challenging myself and I'm on track to reach my goals every day this year, and just I'm on track. I just want to be on the right track. And I've always lived by like uh what is it? What is the saying? I'm gonna butcher it, but it's um direction is more bring than the speed. That's what I really care about is like making sure that I'm just headed the right way. I'm not trying to go super fast. I'm about to have three kids. Um, I know I won't be able to do that. It'll slow me down. But as long as I am headed in the right direction, like I'm the happy girl. So I invite you to maybe make a list of non-negotiables of your own. Maybe you want to steal some of mine. Maybe you want some more. I wrote down a few more just in case like these ones might resonate with you too. They're I'll just like I'll quickly run through them. I have them written down. So the first is I'm done apologizing for needing breaks. I'm not performing motherhood for anyone on social media. My home doesn't have to be perfect to be peaceful. If it's a maybe, it's a no. I don't take feedback from people I wouldn't trade lives with. This is one that I should have put online. That's such a good one. My body is not a before and after project. I'm not my family's human reminder app. We plan rest like we plan travel. I don't abandon myself to keep the peace. Preach queen. And I choose consistency over intensity. So, maybe take a few of those if you like them and resonate with them. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode. Hope you liked it. If you did and if it resonated with you, I would love if you left a little comment or a review even better to kick off this new year. That would mean the absolute world to me. One, just because I genuinely love hearing your feedback, what you liked, what you disliked. Um, if you disliked it, uh maybe send me a DM, but also full transparency, you can post it too. But I really just love hearing because I put these episodes out and I'm like, okay, well, did they like this or did they not? And so reading your reviews um and comments, like if you're on Spotify or on um YouTube, like it's just a way for me to check in with you guys and be like, okay, was that valuable? Or maybe it didn't hit how I wanted it to hit. Um, so please, and the way that I grow this community, a lot of it has to do with the reviews and the ratings. I know I say that all the time, but it really, really, really does help with like searchability. Or better yet, share it with a friend that you think would love the milk, or if there's a certain episode, just forward it to a friend. Like you gotta listen to this. Maybe this will help you too. So, anyways, happy, happy, happy 2026. I truly wholeheartedly hope and wish and pray and cross my fingers and toes that this year brings you everything that you aspire it would. Um, all of your hopes, dreams, wishes, because you freaking deserve it, especially if you're a mom. I truly believe that this world does not rotate without us. We are superheroes and we deserve the best and the absolute most out of a new year. It's our blank canvas. So no dream is too big. Um, and that's all I have for you. Thank you again for listening. See you next week.

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Tayla Burke

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