Ep. 21 Final Pregnancy Q&A: VBAC, Labor Prep, Sibling Transition, & Postpartum Plans

I’m in the final few weeks of pregnancy, and I still find myself trying to process the fact that I’m about to have a teeny tiny newborn in my arms so soon. This week, I thought it would be fun to prep together with one last little pregnancy Q&A. You submitted the questions, and I’m answering them.

And let me tell you… you all sent in such thoughtful, good questions. A few of them even made me pause and reflect on what I want for birth and postpartum, so truly, thank you for your service.

In this episode, we talk through VBAC fears, labor prep routines, sibling transitions, postpartum mental health, and the real-life logistics that make this whole season possible.

Questions We Cover:

• Deciding on a VBAC/TOLAC after a prior C-section and processing birth trauma
• Birth prep strategies, including walking, acupuncture, raspberry leaf tea, evening primrose, curb walking, the Miles Circuit, and colostrum collection
• Whether siblings should meet baby at the hospital or at home
• Anything I want to do differently this birth and postpartum
• Who will be watching the kids while we’re at the hospital
• How I’m mentally and physically preparing for birth in the final two weeks
• What vaccines or medications I’m delaying after birth
• Thoughts on placenta encapsulation
• How to prep older kids for a new baby
• Ways I’m preparing for postpartum
• How we plan to divide kids and responsibilities with my husband
• And more!

Thanks for hanging out with me this week- I'm so grateful you're here 

xo - Tayla

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Transcript

Welcome To The Milk

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to The Milk, the podcast that pours it all out. The messy, the magical, and the mildly unhinged moments of motherhood and womanhood. Real talk, honest stories, and reminders that none of us really know exactly what we're doing. And that's kind of the best part. I'm Taylor, your host and soon-to-be mom of three. So let's laugh, learn, and milk the season of life for all that it's worth. You guys, welcome back to another episode of The Milk. I feel like I haven't been solo on the mic in so long. I've just had so many incredible guests that I've been reaching out to and dying to get on the podcast that I wanted to like stack them before giving birth. And then I was like, wait a minute, I have not talked one-on-one with you in so long. So I was like, why not do a final pregnancy QA before I give birth? So you guys submitted these questions and I'm going to answer them. A lot of them have to do with my pregnancy, my birth, postpartum time. Um, so it's really like hyping me up for my final weeks. Um, and I will be doing one other episode, it'll be probably like the very last episode before I give birth on my birth preference, which is like your plan. I like to call it my preference because it never goes according to plan, does it? And I'll be doing what's in my hospital bag and just kind of like final thoughts and feelings on getting ready to have the baby. It'll probably be days before I give birth and just how it feels to transition from a family to four to five. So that episode will still be coming, so I really wanted to just focus on a QA um just to kind of chat with you guys and just feel like we're having a conversation, reading your questions and giving you my answers and whatnot. Um, I'm almost 37 weeks. I turned 37 weeks in two days. I my stomach, you guys, if you can see this on camera, my stomach is like around basketball. And this girl is like, you'll probably see if you're watching on YouTube, you'll see her foot just like window shield washing whatever that is across my stomach nonstop. She's just, she loves to kick my ribs and just she's getting all comfy in there, you know. She's get there's not too much, you know. I my torso's pretty short, so there's not too much room for her. Um, but I'm starting to feel all the feels. Like I have so many intense Braxton hicks, and I know they're like normal, but they used to just be like, oh, like it's tightening, and now it's starting to feel like a little discomfort, I want to say at night. I'm like, oh my gosh, this is actually like on the verge of being painful because it's just so tight. Third trimester exhaustion is kicking my butt. I I was not prepared for this. I mean, I I I would always see people talk about third trimester exhaustion and try to argue that first uh or that postpartum and newborn tired is nothing compared to third trimester. And I was like, what are you talking about? Like you're waking up every two to three hours with a newborn, you have to feed, diaper change, all the things. Like nothing is more exhausting than that. And now I'm like, wait a minute, hold on a dang sec. This third trimester exhaustion is kicking my butt. Um, it almost feels like first trimester exhaustion where I'll sleep so long and no amount of sleep is enough. I can barely lift my limbs in the morning, and then I have to change stinky diapers and do breakfast and do school lunches and do drop off and all the things. So um yeah, it's been very humbling. Um, I can't believe I'm so close. It just feels so surreal. Like, I still before before recording this, when I was just prepping for the episode, I was like, holy shit, like I know I'm having another baby, but I also can't believe I'm having another baby. It's like those moments that hit you, like, wow, there's actually going to be a baby in my arms. We had Aspen's fourth birthday last week. We on she turned four on March 17th, and Scotty and I took her to Disneyland for the first time. And I feel like the total grinch saying this, but I am just not a Disney person. I would go as far as say as like I dislike Disneyland, and I I haven't been since I was a kid, and I had just like no reason to, no plans, no interest, but I promised myself to be a good mother. I was going to take her when she was old enough to like really absorb it and was interested in Disney, and so four felt like that right age. So I think it was like the worst combination where I'm nine months pregnant. I guess there was like a week early of um spring break, so it was so crazy busy, it was so extremely hot. When we got back in the car, it was 116 degrees. But when we were in there, I want to say it was 90 something, and just it took an hour and 20 minutes to get in. And with the child, you know, it was her first time too, and she was a little overwhelmed by the crowds, and like it was hot and I was so pregnant, and Scotty had just was just getting over the stomach bug that Aspen got home from school, where she was like throwing up and shitting herself for days. So Scotty was like stuffing himself with a modium, TMI. It was just, I look back and it was so funny, but it was like the perfect storm. We did a couple rides with her, we had the best time. It was so fun like seeing it through her eyes and just seeing how excited she got, and um, it was fun for that reason. So, for that reason, like of course I'm gonna do it again for my kids, but for me, no, I I can't wait to next time, hopefully, like put a drink inside my body when I'm not pregnant to be able to get through that. Um, but yeah, so we did that, and then I threw her a birthday party a few days later on the weekend, and we did like a princess theme because she's so into princesses. I thought I was keeping it very low-key and small, just having five other friends of hers come, but then it's like the parents of each kid. So there was like 16 or 18 in our family, so 16 or 18 adults, and then six kids plus like a couple like little babies. Um, and it was so much fun. But I feel like I've checked off some big things in my ninth month of pregnancy already, so that feels good. The big things are over with, but where I was going with this is that my girlfriend just had a baby and she's 11 weeks old, and I was holding her for a second, and I was like, oh my gosh, I don't know what to do with this thing. Like, I can't believe I'm having one of these again. And she's like, This is 11 weeks old, Taylor. Like, you are gonna have one that's like half the size. Like, I'm like, okay, I'm spiraling. I know you just like know what to do when it's yours and when it's in your arms, but I just could not connect the dots of like, yes, I'm pregnant, but like, no, I don't fully comprehend that I'm about to have this newborn in my hands. So, anyways, that's kind of what's up with us. Um, I'm sitting in my baby's nursery. We're we're not fully done. I need to like put I have like shelving picture frames. I still need to put the curtains up. It's just like the little stuff, but you can kind of see, you can kind of get the vibe of her room. Um, so finishing this and then, you know, just normal things of like starting an entire backyard renovation um weeks before your babies do. That's gonna be fun. So um, we've been having this in the works for months and months and months, actually before I got pregnant, and of course it just comes down to right now, we're supposed to start demo on Monday, and I told our contractor, like, hey, you gotta get through demo before this baby comes. He says it's two to three weeks of demo, and I said, incredible, it has to be done by like the end of the first week of April or something like that, because I don't know when the baby's coming after that, and I will not be hearing Jackhammering when I get home from the hospital. So, I mean, you know, I'll survive if I have to, but there's just a lot on our plate. Um, and but I feel like pretty calm. I feel like if it was my first pregnancy, it'd be like absolutely not, like I'd be going crazy and having a panic attack, but like the third time around just feels like whatever happens, happened. So here we are. Anyways, we should get into the questions. Okay, so this question was asked quite a bit, and to be honest, I'm asking myself this question too. Um, someone said, Are you planning a V back or a C-section? And why? So my plan is to have a V back. I have mixed feelings about this. Well, not really mixed, it's just so up in the air that it's a little intimidating in ways. Um, they always say that, you know, there's a risk with a V back of a uterus rupture, um, which is could be fatal, but of course it's like 1%. But you always have that in the back of your mind. But again, like that's the there's that with a C-section as well, of like there's and natural birth. There are risks with every kind of birth, with everything in life. So um, my plan is to go in for a V back, which I just learned. Um, it's actually called a Tolac, and it's a trial of labor after cesarean, and a V back is vaginal birth after cesarean. So I guess I'm going in for a Tolac. Um and I pretty much made this decision because I truly loved my vaginal birth with Aspen, and it was so special and empowering. Not saying that a C-section isn't. There are so many moms out there that absolutely love their C-sections and will actually opt to have C-sections. I personally just didn't have the best experience with it. I'm so sensitive to medication, and I got so sick, as so many of you know, Bash was rushed straight to the NICU. I didn't get to see his face. I didn't know if he was alive for probably an hour. Um, and it was I still think I struggle with some trauma from it. And I guess mourning the birth that I wished it was. I feel like I used to not be able to talk about this without crying and tearing up. All of a sudden I'm feeling a little choky, but I'm totally fine. But anyways, um, and just the healing was it was very invasive. I mean, especially the first two weeks was excruciating. It was really tough. And I also had aspen at home that was 16 months, and this time around, I'm like, I just genuinely don't know how I'm supposed to recover from a C-section with two kids when I'm supposed to be getting up in the morning doing the breakfast, doing the lunches, helping with drop-off, all the things, also with a newborn. And um, so the recovery just seems to be a little easier with a vaginal, and I just really want to redeem myself after the last um birth experience. So my goal is to go in for a V back, but I'm also humbled and aware that that might not happen, and I'm just trying to wrap my head around that and just like let God and life take the reins, and just try not to let anything penetrate my peace and healthy baby, help, healthy birth, healthy mom. Like that's all I really care about in hindsight. Um, but with that said, my doctor feels so confident because one, I've already had a vaginal birth, so it's like my body experienced it so well and so easy. I mean, I pushed Aspen out in a few minutes. I actually actually had to hold her in um in order for the doctor to make it. So I had such a good experience, I was induced, but I had such a great labor experience with her. And then also because my C-section was due to um bash being breached and not like a lack in progression of labor, that that's also like a good sign of someone who can have a successful V back. And I've waited 18 months to two years after my last birth, so my body's healed. That's another good sign that they look out for. I guess something else that I will mention, I'm actually meeting with my doctor this Friday to kind of build my birth preference. So I'll talk through that all in that next episode. But for now, I initially felt like I wanted to get induced for my V back just because I was like, it feels good to start that experience under medical care, but then from what I've heard is that they try to avoid inductions because just say you take Pitocin, it could bring on contractions too quick, which raises the risk of a uterus rupture. And obviously, we don't want that. Um, but there are other ways. So I'm gonna talk with my doctor about the best way to go about that. There's still some some stuff up in the air, um, but I am trying for a V back and not a not a C-section in my long-winded explanation. Okay, the next question was birth prep going into this baby versus the first. Siblings meet in the hospital or at home. So for siblings meeting in the hospital or home, I think I'm just gonna play it by ear. Um, Aspen came to the hospital when Bash was born, and it was amazing and so special, but at the same time, she got really sad leaving us and was just so confused seeing us out of our natural environment of home. Um and I'm just a little scared for Bash to experience that. Um, I feel like he will not want to leave us. Um, so we'll see. I think it depends how many days in the hospital will be there, how the birth goes. So I'm definitely gonna play it by ear. Um, but I do also kind of like the idea of them meeting their sibling in a neutral environment that's not just home. I guess there's pros and cons because the baby, I'm I'm like literally thinking through this right now while answering this. They also might be more comfortable if it happens at the house in their environment. So we'll see about that. I will definitely get back to you on that or in like a post-birth recap. And then as far as prepping my prepping going into this baby verse the first, um, they're just it's it's gonna be very different. So in some ways it's gonna be the same, in some ways it's gonna be different. My first pregnancy, I was really trying to go into labor naturally, so I was trying to do all the things, and then I ended up getting induced. I guess this time I'm trying the exact same thing, um, but I'm like cranking it up a notch with the things I'm doing. Obviously, I don't want to force anything to happen. No matter what you do, babies literally always come on their time, and I'm fully aware of that. But I if I have the control of encouraging it as much as possible, like of course I'm going to do that. So I'll kind of walk you through my week by week of these final weeks of what I'm doing slash what I'm going to do. So this past week was my 36th week, and I started drinking raspberry leaf tea. I was probably a little late to the game. I know you can start around 32 to 34 weeks. Definitely consult with your doctor on that. Depends on your pregnancy. But I started batching it this week. I actually posted a reel on how I do that on my Instagram if you want to get some inspo there. I love batching it because then I just have like three days worth of tea instead of having to make it like multiple times a day. And I also like to drink it cold. It's really hot here, but at night sometimes it's nice to have like a nightcap of like a warm cup as well. And then this week I've also been making sure to get at least 30 minutes of exercise a day. Exercise, as in most of the time, it's literally just walking outside. But that really helps support your body and just your hips and motility for the day you give birth. And then also I started incorporating acupuncture this week where I met with my acupuncturist Dr. Christine, and she's also like a fertility, pregnancy, and postpartum um expert in acupuncture. So I saw her at the beginning for my first trimester symptoms, and then now I'm seeing her the last month of my pregnancy, and then I'll also be seeing her postpartum. So this week we just focused on um acupuncture to take care of my symptoms of like exhaustion. Um, what else was I experiencing? I gave her a list and she's like, okay, this week we're focusing on mom. The next few weeks until you give birth, we'll be doing acupuncture to encourage labor and birth. Um, she mentioned something about like incorporating E stems, not really sure what that is, but I actually have a surprise. I might be having her on the podcast. Um, I don't know if this episode is coming out before or after, probably after. Oh my god, do you see my daughter in my stomach? She's going nuts. If you're watching, you most likely saw that. Um anyways, and then 37 weeks next week, or starting this weekend, I'm gonna be incorporating evening primrose capsules. This is supposed to help soften your cervix. And from what I've heard, it just really helps with like I don't want to say a quicker labor, but just an easier one when it comes to like pushing and whatnot. Who knows if that's true, but it's worth a try in my book. I'm also gonna start curb walking next week. So alert the neighborhood, there's not a weird pregnant woman losing her mind on the street. I will be curb walking. I actually saw a video on TikTok that um this woman who was like about to give birth was someone like a neighbor called the cops on her, and cops came to from someone complaining that there was like a drunk or intoxicated woman doing weird things on the street, and it was she was literally like it was at night, so maybe it looked a little sketchy, but she's like, I'm just curb walking trying to go into labor, and they're like, Oh, so sorry. So it does look funky, but I I giggled at that. And then 38 weeks, I'm going to start collecting colostrum. This is the colostrum that I will be taking to the hospital for the baby, which was such a game changer when I had bash because I was so sick following my C-section that I couldn't even lift my head to pump. So I had that to give to the NICU to be able to feed him. And then I'll also be saving some for at home in case my milk's delayed. Um, it's just like my insurance plan of making sure I have enough food before, and it also helps just support labor and birth. So I'm gonna be squeezing the nips and getting out as much as possible, starting at 38 weeks. I have the Haka collection kit. I've used it each time and I love it. I just store the little vials in the freezer and then I'll defrost them and then use like a syringe to get it out. It's super simple. Also, something that I've never heard about, but Tori actually texted me to start doing this, is the Miles Circuit, which is, I guess it's three positions that you spend 30 minutes each doing. So it's kind of a time commitment of 90 minutes, but you do it every day, and I women swear by it with helping getting them to go into labor. And of course, I'm not trying at 30 weeks to have my baby, but I want to open thy hips, I want to get the baby in the right position. Apparently, it does all of that. So um, you can look it up on TikTok. Um, it is like the first position is like getting like spreading your knees and putting your butt in the air and opening your hip hips up and like being in that position for like 30 minutes. I'm gonna be doing it like watching a show, and then I think the next one, I don't know. Anyways, I don't wanna I don't wanna bore you with me trying to explain it, but look it up on TikTok, look it up on the internet. Um, but that's what I'm gonna be starting at 38 weeks too, and then 39 weeks. This would be the golden week of me going into labor naturally because I just I I don't foresee myself going past 40 weeks. I'm not one of those gals, especially with two kids at home. Like, I want to give birth the week before my due date. Um, so 39, I'll be doing all the things that I already mentioned, but from what I've heard, nip stimulation gets things going. Well, I think a girlfriend of mine pumped, like did a big pumping sesh, and an hour or two later, she went into labor and then had her baby that night. So probably going to be putting my pump on. And then also, um, we went to our last ultrasound for like a growth scan um at our high-risk doctor, and they were like, Oh, your baby is almost six pounds, and that was at 36 weeks, where like Bash was born at six pounds three ounces at 38 weeks. And I know that's not like massive, massive, but I'm also five two, and I don't want my hoo-ha being ripped to my booty hole. That's just, that's just it. Um, and so after the doctor walked out, and I know it's an estimate too, like you got to take that into consideration, you plus or minus. I turned to Scotty and I was like, hey, head in the game, you gotta start stimulating my nipples. And he just about fell out of his chair. He was so distraught. And I'm like, dude, you put this baby inside of me. It is your responsibility to help get it out of me. So I want nip stimulation. I want, if this is any family listening to this part or this is TMI, but like I want C. Semen as close to my cervix as possible. And Scotty is 10,000% against that. And I get it. It's close to the baby's head. We have a daughter, but at the same time, there is a layer of protection there. And apparently, semen helps soften the cervix and prepare for labor. So that's a man's job. I'm not really sure who is going to win that battle, but hopefully you're looking at her. Okay, next question. Was this pregnancy harder with two littles? Yes, 100%. Absolutely. It was such a humbling experience. I was, I was not prepared for it. I don't know if it has something to do with my age or just like also having two kids or what, but this one has felt significantly harder or just more challenging in each trimester. I always get so sick in the first trimester, but definitely more sick with girls. So my first pregnancy with Aspen, I feel like was the hardest emotionally, just because every appointment had bad news after bad news and we were high risk, and I was on bed rest from I want to say 13 weeks till 38 weeks. And so that was hard in that way. But I also had no one else to take care of but myself. Um, and then with Bash, after the first trimester, it was pretty smooth sailing. Like, yes, I still had a baby. Um, and but I remember playing with her on the playground the day before I gave birth to Bash and totally felt fine. Granted, I did have a C-section at 38 weeks. Um, so I shaved off some of those hardest days, but still, like I had a pretty great pregnancy and my energy was really good. This time around, first trimester was so hard. Second trimester, I was shocked by how exhausted my body still was. It got better like the second half, and then the first bit of the third trimester was, you know, pretty good, but I definitely started slowing down so much earlier. And I think the main difference is when I was pregnant with Bash, Aspen wasn't in school yet. So no matter how tired I was, like we could still hang and just lounge on the couch in the mornings with no responsibility. Um, where this time, no matter how tired I am, I still have to get up and do the diapers and do breakfast, do lunches, do drop off. Obviously, Scotty helps. Um, but it's all of those responsibilities that like happen every single day. So, and then it's the pickup, and you know, the kids are so much more active. So it's definitely been harder, but I don't want to scare anyone. Like, you do it, you just get through it, and yeah, I mean, now it just kind of feels like it's just repetition of the same day, like new day, same shit, and I'm almost at the end, and now I'm just seeing it the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm like, I am so close that there's not much to complain about these final days because I know it's just over, so it's just getting through each one and just taking day by day. Anything you want to do differently this time around with birth. So honestly, not really. I mean, I would love to repeat my birth with aspen um minus the induction. I'd love to go into labor naturally, but I feel like I was just in such a great mental state heading to the hospital. I was so excited, I felt empowered, I was confident, and we were just really going with the flow with the induction. We didn't really know what to expect, but I I don't recall really having any feels about it. I was just in such a good place. I think after nine plus months of just really of being terrified that she wasn't safe inside me, I was just so excited to get her out. Obviously, like there were some challenges, and you know, I felt like I had to voice my opinion and stand up for myself when in one situation with a nurse who wasn't taking what I was experiencing seriously. And so I was really proud of myself in that. And I think I just hope to do that and amplify that. I want to make sure, especially with the V back, um, that I ask the right questions and I stay informed and that no one does anything without my verbal confirmation or Scotty's confirmation. Um, so just really prioritizing that this time and just creating a really calm environment. I loved having a great playlist that just made me warm and fuzzy inside. And it was just such an exciting time. I always tell first-time moms that say how anxious or scared they are about birth, that it is the final obstacle that is standing in your way before you meet your baby. You know, you have nine and a half months and you look forward every single day to this birthday. So I think that supersedes any anxiousness or fear around birth, that it's like you can do hard things for 24, 36 hours max, and then you have the biggest reward in your hands. Next question hardest part about having multiple kiddos and how to survive. Um, tips on how to survive. So I'm assuming this just means with two kids and not three yet. Um, but this is honestly like my million-dollar question with going to three, and it was my biggest tug of war in my heart of wanting a third or not, where no matter how fortunate you are, no matter how successful you are, no matter how supported you are by family or childcare, that two parents can never be in three places at once. And the thought of one of my kids later on in life not having one of us at a sporting event or at a birthday party they go to, any of those things just shatters my heart. And it was something that I really had to consider. But at the end of the day, like we have so much love to give and we'll find a way, you know, my my goal. And I don't want to spiral going down that path when, you know, it's so far away. So I try not to fully think about it. I'm like, I'll cross that bridge later on in life. But I know that we will have family or loved ones around each child wherever they go. Um, so they'll always feel supported, even if mom or dad can't be there. And I think it's also important for them to experience parts of life without the kids. Like it's healthy for the parents to go away on trips and them not to be with their parents to become codependent. And so there is that like give and take. So that that's probably the hardest part for me and mentally thinking of going two to three. But when it comes to even just two kids, I would say that the hardest part is really splitting your love, your attention, your presence, your affection with two kids equally. And also they have different needs. And, you know, we all experience love and have different love languages, and we, you know, you try treat them differently, is what I'm learning. So what works for one kid is different than what works for another. And so that's kind of that's been not difficult to navigate, it's just been something that I never really anticipated. So I just have to think extra hard and process things a little bit more beforehand. Um, but honestly, kids, they don't need all the time in the world with you. You know, they'd love it. But what I mean with like solo time, my I always try to just carve out some solo time for each kid and like what they love. So with Bash, if I find 10 minutes to build his favorite magnet tile, like massive tower, he loves to build right now. So the other day I spent five, ten minutes doing that with him while Aspen was distracted doing something else, and it just lit up his world. Like he loves doing that, or he'll grab my hand and mama come sit, come sit, and is asking me to do it with him. And yes, maybe I might be cooking dinner, or maybe I'm trying to clean the house and it takes me away from that, but it means so much to him, and you can just you experience like his mannerisms and like he's not fighting for attention as much after something like that, because him and Aspen tend to fight for my attention sometimes, or like Aspen, like she loves taking bubble baths or showers with me, so there'll be nights where I'm like, let's go sneak away and we'll go do this, the two of us. So just making sure, and that's kind of where it's like how to survive. It's like one I think before all of that is make sure that you take care of yourself. And it sounds just so silly, but I've been on the flip side of that after having bash and dealing with two under literally a year and a half, and I was a shell of a human, and it showed. It showed in how I showed up every single day as a mom, in my uh patience level, how I reacted in difficult situations or when I felt overwhelmed with the kids. And I don't want to experience that again. You know, I want to be the best version of myself so I can be the best mother to them. And so just finding something simple to do for yourself every day if you can, um, really like you have to take care of yourself and fill your fill your cup up first to survive. Um, and I've also learned that you tend to handle like situations aren't as overwhelming as they may seem when you are in a good mental and physical state. So that's how I try to survive is making sure that I do things for myself. And then second is making sure I allocate time for each child, and then also do things together. Like the hardest part was when Bash was a baby and Aspen was a toddler and trying to figure out how to navigate that, where it's kids with completely different needs, completely different schedules. And now that they're kind of more in the same stage of life, like it's so much fun where they're on the same nap schedule, they play at the park together, they're doing everything that's the same. And so that's when it really gets more fun and more manageable. So if it you're in the early days, like you're in the thick of it, it does get significantly easier. Um, and the only way out is through. Like, there are no great survival tips that I can give outside of that and just taking care of yourself. Okay, so what am I packing in my hospital bag? I think I covered this already, but I would love to share that, but I actually have not packed my hospital bag yet. That is on my list for next week. Um, so I will cover that in that one episode before um I give birth. Next question is will your nanny or family watch the kids when you go to the hospital? So this is one of those situations that's a little up in the air for me, and I'm fine with that. I used to be such a type A person where I had to have a plan going into things, and I'm just really trying not to. My plan is literally just to keep those days that were away as normal as possible for them. So that means we will have them if it depends on what day I go into labor, but if it's a weekday, like they will go to school normal as is. Our nanny will be um hours as is. So nothing really changes besides Scotty and I being out of the situation. Um, so we'll have family come in um to help with school drop-off and pickup, and then our nannying hours will be the same uh to support my family who will be taking care of them, and then we'll have family stay the night and do the morning. So it'll be kind of like all hands on deck. Um, and we'll just see how that goes. And then weekends, like we'll, you know, probably bring on some extra childcare hours just to help support family. Um, we'll just see how it goes. But that I'm so grateful to have family so close from my family side, Scotty's family side, and then just um the childcare that we have. Like I feel so fortunate and I never want to act like we don't have that support because we would not be able, I don't think I could have a third child if I didn't have that support. I honestly don't think I would make that decision um or be to be able to because there is no way we could survive without. I mean, you every situ every family is in such a different situation. Like there are people who go through all this without family nearby, and I'm like, oh my gosh, like you guys are heroes. I don't know how you do it. So it is possible, but like I feel the strength because of the support around me, I guess is what I'm trying to say. Okay, someone asked, advice for two weeks leading up to due date. What can you do mentally and physically to prep? Okay, so my biggest regret before having Aspen was not focusing on taking care of myself. I was just counting down the days until I had her trying to distract myself with anything that I forgot about, like soaking up those last days for yourself. And I mean, this could be something as simple as spontaneously just walking out the door to go for a walk or going to grab your favorite coffee because once the baby comes, it'll take 30 minutes and probably two to three times going in and out the door, you forget things to go grab that coffee. It's just never the same. Something else, like if you have a book on your list that you've been wanting to read, read the damn book. Kick up your feet, read the book with no one to interrupt you if you don't have any other kids. Um, listen to a podcast, which you can still do when you have a baby, but just things that you've been really wanting to do. Um, and then also like get your appointments out of the way, doctor's appointments, um, I wish I did, or you know, like a dentist appointment, my nails, my a haircut that can last me a few months, um, anything like that just to take the stress off of like, oh damn, I need to book this appointment and what am I gonna be able to do that beforehand? And then lastly, take yourself on one final date night. Book it. I know you never know when you're really gonna go into labor, but close to the end, Scotty and I will always do like a final date night. And during that date night, we just talk about things that we're excited about, talk about things that we're nervous about, and just kind of wrap up the pregnancy before this new chapter of our life. And I cannot recommend it enough. This is a great question. Someone asked, What vaccines or medications do you delay after birth? And we actually just met with our new pediatrician, he'll be meeting us at the hospital once the baby's here. And I feel really good about the plan we came up with after I just voiced my hesitation for you know, I don't want anything that's not absolutely necessary. And so I'll read you my plan. So I'll be denying the hEP shot just because our pediatrician said they can give the shot at their office after we leave the hospital. And also, since I'm giving birth in April, which is outside of RSV season, I'll be denying that one too. So depending on when you're giving birth, your doctor might feel comfortable about waiving that. And then I will be getting the vitamin K shot for the baby because our pediatrician said that this is extremely crucial from the moment they come out of the womb. So I feel fine about that one. And then I forget the name of it, but I will be doing the gel that goes over the eyes. My pediatrician just said that there are some risks and the benefits completely outweigh it. And then after birth, when it comes to vaccines that they get within their first year and everything, I will be spacing them out. I don't know the exact plan. I think I'm gonna come up with that with my pediatrician. Um, but pretty much the ones that aren't absolutely crucial at that time, um, I'll I'll be delaying. And we've done this with all of our kids. And then also I love to only do one vaccine at a time, just if God forbid there's a reaction, we know exactly what vaccine caused it instead of there being three shots and being like, okay, we don't know which what caused what. Okay, next question. Have you tried placent encapsulation and think it makes a big difference? Okay, so I did do this after having aspen. I gotta say, I probably only lasted maybe two weeks, and there were definitely days that I forgot to take it just because you take like, I think it was like three or four capsules two or three times a day. And with everything else going on in the newborn haze, like I could not remember that for the life of me. Um, so I'm not really sure if it worked. Maybe it did help with some energy or speeding up healing. Um, but also the foul taste and smell, if you had to burp after taking them, you guys, it was disgusting. So I'm not gonna be doing that this time around. Okay, what car did you end up getting with the third row? I realize I never mentioned this, but yes, I did end up getting a new car. I sold my other one through like Carmax, I want to say. So I got money for that and then I put it towards a lease on the Land Rover Defender. I think it's the 130. So I what I loved about it is that it has captain seats, which I feel like is absolutely essential because there's no way every time I get in the car, I'm gonna be leaning over a second row to bucklaspen in the back and then buckle the two in the middle. Um, so the captain seats are life-changing, and I love that the car, it's not as like luxurious on the inside, it's way more hardy. It's like it feels like a mountain car, and so a lot of it's like rubber and easy to clean, and so the kids are savages in the car, and as much as I say no to snacks, there's always snacks flying around our cars, so it's easy to clean. I feel like it's less likely to get ruined or like leather to be ripped and whatnot. So I got the car. I've had it for I want to say a month, month and a half, and I'm absolutely loving it. Okay, this is another good question. How did you prep Aspen and Bash for a new baby? Okay, so with Aspen, I feel like I have not really had to do any prep. Um, from the second she heard I was pregnant, she was just so excited. She knew it was a girl from the moment I was pregnant, and she even wants the baby's name to be Aspen. And her reasoning is that she wants to be twins with the baby. And I said, you know, twins still exist and they don't have the same name. She's like, No, but I want the same name. I'm like, okay, girlfriend, you you would regret that later on in life. But anyway, she's just so excited and loves the baby so much. And I I do know that when the baby's here, that there will be, you know, some emotions and her maybe feeling a little more neglected or not a little more distant from us because we're so distracted with the kids. So I I'm aware of that, and my goal is just to include her in every single thing that we're doing. She wants to be a part of it already. She talks about changing diapers, getting the baby dressed, feeding the baby, helping the baby sleep, and so really just trying to include her and then also not obviously blaming the baby, being like, I can't play with you right now because of baby. Um, so really making sure that I show that I'm choosing her over the baby in moments when I can, because you know, the baby doesn't understand, but she does, and that will stick with her. And then with Bash, I I'd be lying if I said I'm not terrified for this. He's been attached to me since birth, as I've mentioned many a times. He wishes he was the baby inside of me, I'm sure. Um, and he he he knows there's a baby inside me. Like whenever he sees a baby in a stroller, if we're at school, he's he's like, oh baby, like baby and mama's tummy. Like he gets that. Um, but then there's days where if my stomach's showing, he'll like pull the stuff, my my shirt down and be like, I don't like baby, uh, and like hit my stomach. And I'm like, oh dear god, this is gonna be a challenge. Um, so anyways, a few months ago we ended up getting him a baby doll with like a stroller, and after like a week, he actually took to it. I was surprised. There was a boy baby, and he sleeps with it every night now, and he asks for it, and he wants to put the binky in the baby's mouth and push it in the stroller. So he's definitely warming up to that. Um, and we just talk about baby a lot, and I talk to him about what life is going to be like when baby's here, and before bed, I tell him how proud I am and tell him how great of a big brother he's gonna be and talk about his role. Um, so just trying to speak it into existence and get him very familiar with how life is going to kind of play out a bit, as much as I can, as much as they can retain. Um, so yeah, and then I also bought like a big brother book that I'll read to him every single night when the baby's here. Maybe before that was gonna be part of the gift that I got him. I bought both the kids gifts from the baby, which I'm sure you've heard of, that I did with Aspen for Aspen when Bash was born, giving it to them when baby arrives to be like, baby bought this for you, baby wanted to give you a gift. There's they were she she is so excited um to be your little sister and whatnot. So that's kind of how I'm preparing for them, and I know it'll be an adjustment period. Um, but I have full faith that we'll figure it out. And then anything you plan to do differently postpartum, knowing this is your last. Yes, absolutely. So my postpartums have definitely been rough, not to scare anyone. I think, you know, mine have been particularly more tough than others, but I also don't feel I feel like I'm in such a better headspace and environment than I was going into my last two postpartums. And I feel like a lot of this came from putting unnecessary pressure on myself that I didn't need, and just having high expectations of wanting to try and get back to quote unquote normal life faster than I needed to. And I feel like I'm the type I have the personality of like, if I'm slowing down, I feel like something is wrong. I need to speed up again. I feel like I'm behind on life, or it's like, why am I stuck in? Where life's going on outside. Um, so that, and then also I work for myself. And so if I'm not getting things done, who is? No one is. So there was the pressure around that with making sure my business um was running at max capacity and you know, making sure that I was doing my part. And this time around, I'm really trying to set myself up where I've recorded a bunch of episodes to get me through birth and then um a little afterbirth, and then also the first few will probably be me in bed, just being really real about what's going on in my life. And so I feel like there's something so great about that of like real, raw, honest moments of like showing actually the behind the scenes of like trying to run a podcast while also being a third-time mom and just juggling it all. So I really want to show you guys that side of it. And then, you know, social media to me, it's just something I do on the side because I love it and I say yes to, you know, working with brands that I truly love and use on the daily and you know, say no to others. So I can kind of pick and choose there. Um, I would say that part is more of like a hobby to me. And then with my girl, you know, squeezing in the hours when I can get as much done as possible, batching things ahead of time. Um, so yeah, that's kind of my plan is just to really not be so hard on myself and know like I've done this so many times already, just twice, but feels so many, that I know it's a phase and I know you won't feel like that again. And, you know, keeping up with um my SSRI. I've never been on an SSRI going into postpartum, so I have high hopes for that. Um, and then therapy, you know, speaking through everything, speaking through the feelings of being overwhelmed, being tired, all those types of things. So um, I guess a couple tips for someone who is a first-time mom is having a conversation and a game plan with your partner before having a baby on the postpartum phase. You know, Scotty had no idea what the postpartum phase entailed before I gave birth to Aspen, he had no idea. Signs to look out for, what happens to the woman's body, what happens to the hormones, like the big hormone crash that comes days after birth. Um, making sure there's an education component for you and your partner of this is what's gonna happen in my body after giving birth. Um, this is the healing process of postpartum, and also going through the signs of baby blues versus postpartum anxiety versus postpartum depression. And not saying this is something you're destined for, but for your partner to be the one, or you know, you put someone in the position to look out for those signs because when you're so deep in it as a mom, a lot of the time you can't recognize them. So you really need an advocate and someone to be almost your keeper of making sure that they they're aware of the signs and symptoms and can pinpoint them in a loving way if need be. And even having like what-if situations of like, if this happens, I'd love for you to support me in this way. Um, like if I'm, you know, if I'm having a mental breakdown, here's how I would expect you to approach it, or I'd appreciate you to approach it instead of, you know, like instead of like, what's wrong with you? Why are you so upset? Like maybe there's certain words. It sounds so silly and unnecessary, but like when, you know, when you're in the postpartum haze, your mind, you're you're you've lack of sleep, you're feeling a little cray cray with your hormones going all over the place. Like, it's really important to make sure to like tell your partner how you want to receive feedback or questions or support. Um, that's something that Scotty and I will be doing again, just as like a refresh because when I'm postpartum, like he'll say something that's not mean. I'll be like, You're being so mean to me. Um, and obviously that's more of like a me thing, but um yeah, we have we'll have like some like code words or like ways to approach certain situations. And lastly, asking for help again, this sounds so minuscule, but we as moms just think that we should be able to do it all. And the truth is we cannot. And especially with me going into having three, like there's no way in heck I'm gonna be able to do that. So asking for help, asking for a break to go take a damn shower or go put on some skincare and makeup and like brush your hair, whatever it is. Um, that's something again, like setting up for the postpartum phase of like feeling comfortable and not guilty doing. Okay, next question. So excited for you. How will you divide kids' responsibilities with your husband? This is a great ass question. So, this is something where we're gonna come up with a game plan we already kind of have, and I'm sure we're going to adjust it multiple times because it might crash and fail, and we'll have to just improvise here and there. So, right now, Scotty is clocking in probably 13 to 15 hours of work a day. He that this man does not sleep. He'll work from like eight to six, and then when I go to bed at 9:30, he'll work for another three to five hours. Um, and so we need one coherent parent um in the morning to help with our other two. So instead of taking a baby moon, we from the very beginning we invested in a night nurse. And I know it's totally a luxury, but for our situation, it's necessary. We can't have two parents that aren't sleeping. And so we'll have her five nights for four weeks and then it'll taper down to three. Um, and the reason why we're doing this is so Scotty can have those nights of uninterrupted sleep so he can be coherent enough in the morning to help with the kids, and then the night nurse and I will tackle the baby together. I'll be feeding, I'll be pumping all the things through the night. Um, and she'll help me with the support there so I can get a little bit more sleep. And then the nights that we don't have um help, I'll be tackling most feeds, and maybe Scotty will do like the midnight feed, which he's done in the past, so I get like a little extra sleep. Like if I do a nine or a 10, then I can sleep and um he'll do that one and then I'll wake up for the next. That's what really helped us in the past. And then in the mornings, I think we'll both tackle um the other two kids, depending on who's feeling a little bit better when it comes to getting them up, doing breakfast. My goal is to have all school lunches prepped the night before, which we don't have right now, so that I think will make a big difference. And then he'll most likely be doing all of school drop-offs at first, and I'll be home with the baby, and then we'll have our nanny start at noon so I can leave at 12:15 to go pick up the baby, and then the nanny and I will tackle until six, and then Scotty and I will do six to bedtime together for all three kids, which is so crazy. Thinking of three meals, three baths, um, three in the bath, uh, three different bedtimes, just you know, all good things to come, you guys. Okay, someone said postpartum hair loss. I personally feel like you can't really avoid it, you know, like we can try and do things to help reduce it, but and to help our hair grow, but like at the end of the day, your hair is going to thin and it's going to fall out. Um, and that typically happens for me around three-ish months. And I mean, I just shed and shed and shed. And the most the worst part about it is just like seeing it all over the house. Like I can't brush my hair or shower without clumps coming out, but I think something I'll be doing differently this time is taking neutrophil. Someone said, Is Scotty getting snipped? LOL. Um, I wish he was here to answer for himself. I think the time has come. I mean, you know that he was supposed to get snipped after two, and that fell through, and here we are, which I feel like was God, God, God did this. God brought us here. God was like, you're not actually done. Um, but after three, yeah, I I think there is no way we will be having another. Um, so he will most likely be getting snipped. We need to figure that out. I'm like, you're not getting snipped until after this baby, after I'm healed, after we're out of, you know, the thick of it. And we will be very, very, very, very, very careful this next time, even though we have been the last, but we'll figure it out. But yes, he will be, he will be getting snipped. And then last question: what should I be taking for fertility? About to try for a second. Okay, so I personally can't speak on this, but this is why I bring experts on here, you guys, for everything I can't speak on. Um, episode nine with Dr. Sasha Hackman. Um, its topic is what every woman should know about her fertility. 100% listen to that. She's such a wealth of knowledge in just how to take care of your body, how to prep your body before trying to conceive. And then also episode 12 is with Sam Diamond, who is the founder of Burden Bee, which is a fertility supplement company that does such incredible work and helps thousands and thousands of women and men prep for fertility and just support them with the right nutrients, the right information, everything that you need from start to finish. So those two episodes will give you so much information and confidence going into the trying to conceive phase. Congratulations. I am so excited for you. And you guys, that's about it. I feel like this was such a long episode. I'm so sorry. Thank you if you're still here with me. I thought that was gonna be 45 minutes, but I feel like that was over an hour maybe. We'll see when I turn the cameras off. Um, and you're probably just watching this baby going all over my stomach. Um, but yeah, thank you guys. I can't believe we're almost at the end of the road. I have so many exciting ideas for episodes for when I give birth. Also, would just love your feedback. I love getting DMs of what you think about these episodes, which ones are your favorites, what you want to hear more of, what even constructive criticism, what you might not be a huge fan of, um, as always, would appreciate you hitting the subscribe or like the follow button. You literally just get a pop-up on your phone when a new episode's out, so you can hear it the moment it comes out, and just any rating or review is greatly appreciated. So thank you guys so much. Um, I'm so excited to get closer to meeting our baby girl and just sharing my journey with all of you. Have a great rest of your week, and I'll talk to you next week.