Ep. 25 Birth & Postpartum Q&A: I Feel Better Than I Expected After Baby Three

Three weeks postpartum and I’m finally back on the mic with the honest update I wish existed when I was a first-time mom. I’m sharing what recovery really feels like after baby number three, including the biggest surprise: how much better my body feels this time around. We talk postpartum bleeding, why a vaginal birth recovery can be wildly different from a C-section, and the tug-of-war between feeling “so good” and still needing to heal.

We get into the day-to-day reality of going from two kids to three. I unpack the mom guilt I carried into this transition, what’s actually working in our routine, and why support systems matter more than any perfect plan. Childcare help, a temporary night nurse, school schedules, and tag-team bedtime are not just logistics, they’re currently how we are surviving. I share my breastfeeding journey across all three babies, why triple feeding burned me out, how formula supplementation became part of our plan early, and what it’s like navigating possible cow’s milk protein allergy and switching to a hydrolyzed formula. I also talk about D-MER (dysphoric milk ejection reflex), that sudden wave of dread during letdown, plus postpartum anxiety and why staying on a low dose of Lexapro helps me keep a steadier baseline.

More On What’s Discussed:
• what feels surprisingly easier this time and what still catches us off guard
• recovery differences across vaginal birth and C-section healing 
• postpartum bleeding timelines and what felt unexpected 
• the transition from two kids to three and why it feels smoother 
• how support systems change everything, from childcare to a night nurse 
• breastfeeding history, low supply, exclusive pumping, and letting go of pressure 
• formula choices, cow’s milk protein allergy concerns, and switching formulas 
• D-MER symptoms during nursing or pumping and why it feels so intense 
• postpartum anxiety signals and why staying on Lexapro helps our baseline 
• VBAC prep tips like stretching, walking, acupuncture, and pelvic alignment 
• epidural fears, what it actually feels like, and why we choose it 
• postpartum vs first trimester and why both can be brutal in different ways 
• staying calm while waiting for spontaneous labor and considering a membrane sweep 
• baby name ideas and handling nasty social media comments 

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Transcript

Welcome Back And Postpartum Life

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to The Milk, the podcast that pours it all out. The messy, the magical, and the mildly unhinged moments of motherhood and womanhood. Real talk, honest stories, and reminders that none of us really know exactly what we're doing, and that's kind of the best part. I'm Taylor, your host and soon-to-be mom of three. So let's laugh, learn, and milk the season of life for all that it's worth.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

Hi, ladies. Welcome back to another week with the milk. Today I am three weeks postpartum. If only I could explain how long it has taken me to get on the mic for this episode. I was supposed to record yesterday, and then Scarlet took up all my time. She needed to be attached to my body the entire day. And then she's been fighting her nap, and so it's been pushed and pushed and pushed, but here we are. So hopefully she will not wake up during this episode. She's actually in the snoo for the first time. She is definitely waking up to the world now, and for some reason, she just does not like to be on her back. I don't really think it is reflux yet, but I think she's just getting so comfortable sleeping on her stomach on top of me that she's like, no, you can't put me down and get anything done. So crossing our fingers that the snoo works. We just, I don't know why, we just haven't used it yet. And last night she just didn't really have a great night on her back. She was up every one and a half hours. So we're going through it a little bit, but I'm so excited to be back recording. I thought I'd dedicate this episode to just talking about the last few weeks since giving birth, kind of birth questions, what postpartum has been like this time around, what having a third baby's been like, and just everything in between. A week or so ago, I did a QA on my Instagram, just gathering questions. So I'll get through that at the end, but I thought I'd kick us off today by just kind of talking through things that have been a little easier than anticipated, bringing baby number three into our family, and then maybe things that I've been struggling with a bit the last few weeks, just to keep it real and bring some transparency to the mic. I mean, I always intend to do so, but I feel like a lot of the time when you have a baby, people just immediately think of all like the joys and everything that comes to it and the amount of love that you bring into your family and whatnot. And yes, that is all so true, but I feel like there's also been some hardships or just things that maybe I didn't anticipate being as hard as they are now. But I feel like there's just a couple things that I probably didn't think about or just didn't intend to struggle with them, even the third time around. Like I'm learning something new each birth and with each baby. They, every experience is just so different. So I thought I would dive into those

Recovery Wins And Body Surprises

SPEAKER_01 2:53

first. And I've gotta say, this time around, I think I've talked about this on the last episode as well, but I feel so incredible three weeks postpartum, and that is not the case for my last two pregnancies and postpartum experiences. So I feel like I've almost like earned that badge of honor the third time around. And people do say third time's a charm, so maybe that's what it is too. But one thing that has just felt a lot easier than I anticipated or my previous experiences was my recovery. And I do really think that the way you have to heal and recover, like what happens in birth, plays a big part on your postpartum experience. And so this time around, it's felt so much more seamless to like get back on my feet and feel like a human again. I think this all comes down to the fact that one, I did not tear during birth, which I'm shocked about because I definitely tore with aspen. And I feel like that definitely led to feeling very overwhelmed the first few weeks of like, how are we allowed to take care of this teeny tiny six-pound newborn every two to three hours that needs to eat, sleep, poop, repeat while also taking care and healing ourselves and our bodies. It just has felt so illegal to me ever since I did it for the first time myself. So this time around, I honestly, and this is not to brag, and I think I might have said this the last time as well, but I have not had to use any of my postpartum catty products besides the postpartum diapers and briefs. I didn't have to use my perennial, what is it, the squeeze water bottle. I haven't, I didn't have to use my witch hazel wipes or the foam, literally anything, which I was so beyond shocked about, TMI, but like I was not even swollen down there after this time giving birth. So that's been a really lovely surprise this time around. And especially with just having other kids, I was so nervous about the recovery while also having to not just take care of myself, but the baby and then the three kids and the school and all those things. I was getting a little in over my head and spiraling over that before, and it's just something that I constantly remind myself of like, don't worry about things that haven't happened yet because you never know if they're going to happen, or you know what there could also be like bet the best case scenario. So with Aspen, I ended up getting a first degree tear which required I think it was like two, four or six internal stitches, and that was pretty rough, even though it was first degree. I don't know what it was, but something about sitting upright feeding my baby every two to three hours really caused it to irritate it. And I was so positive that I got an infection, it would literally cause me to sweat. I was in so much pain. So I went to the doctor after like four or five days, and I was like, I have to be having an infection because I feel so unwell inside. And turns out there was no infection, I was just in crippling in pain from that tear. So that was really hard the first time around. I ended up getting one of those donut pillows and nursing while sitting on one of those, which helped a lot, but I was definitely humbled by the recovery, even with a first-degree tear. Um, and then something that you also don't learn until you experience it yourself, or at least I never learned, was how long you bleed for after having a baby. I think the first time around I bled for 14 days, exactly, like on the two-week mark, I stopped. And then with Bash with a C-section, I can't even remember. That sounds so crazy because it's almost been three years. Um, I don't really think I bled that much after a C-section. I feel like just the recovery is very different. And then this time around, I was actually kind of surprised I've bled the most this time around, and I think I'm just stopping now at the three three-week mark. Obviously, it goes down and down with each day, but I was a little surprised at how long it lasted this time. And my recovery after a vaginal birth compared to C-section, I mean, C-section was so much more intense for me. I want to say like the first two weeks are absolutely excruciating because you're having to get up and down with this massive incision. You can't cough or sneeze without being in so much pain. So, literally just shoving a pillow onto my stomach and doing it with that pressure helped so much. And obviously, like a C-section band to protect it helped a lot. And then the third week of a C-section, I feel like it became more manageable. Like the first two weeks, I was like, oh my gosh, this is living hell. And the third week, I was like, okay, I can do this. And then I feel like the fourth week I started to forget about it a bit. And so, yeah, they were very different experiences. Um, and I'm just very grateful for this time around. So, yeah, number one, I want to say that my recovery this time was a pleasant surprise and something that was much easier than I expected, even to the point where last week, when I was two weeks, I was joking with friends, being like, I'm ready to go back to Barry's. And they were like, You're absolutely insane. And this is not to um inspire anyone to do the same, but I just felt so good that I was like, I could literally go on a run right now. And so I don't know, I'm itching for movement. I know I'm still supposed to be laying low, and you can't pick up anything heavier than your baby for six weeks, which is insane because my toddler and Aspen just want to be in my arms at all times, or Scotty, I'll be picking something up and he'll be like, put that down, you're not allowed to be doing that. But yeah, I think it's just a testament to me feeling good, but I also need to remind myself like my uterus probably is still healing and it's not even shrunk back to its normal size yet. And I do recall, I want to say the first time around when I started pushing myself a little bit too early that it ended up causing me to bleed more. So that's something I'm trying to remind myself. But I cannot wait to get back into working out once I get cleared.

Going From Two Kids To Three

SPEAKER_01 8:54

And then the second thing that I feel like's just been so much easier than anticipated, and I'm just so beyond grateful for it, is the transition from two to three kids. I was so nervous about being outnumbered and just how the other two, mainly Bash, would welcome his little sister into our family. Um, just because one, it was the mom guilt of, you know, him feeling replaced was like my biggest concern, and it just hurt my heart thinking about it each time, and and also just the guilt of dividing my attention yet again, and my affection and love. And yes, the second time around you learn that your heart really does double in size, and there's so much more to go around, but at the same time, it's like you only have so many hours in a day, you can only split your attention so many ways at so many different times, and so that was something I was really nervous about, and I want to say that it has been so much smoother than we ever, ever, ever experienced, or not experienced, but just anticipated or planned. Like we Scotty and I talked about this on the last episode of how good Bash has been. Like he's been better behaved, and even his attitude and less tantrums and and just more like confidence and independence now that the baby's here, and he completely understands that he can't be on me when the baby's there, and even when he'll jump in bed, and instead of trying to jump on me with the baby, which he would do when I was pregnant, he just comes and sits next to me and puts his arms around my arm and snuggles up next to me. And it's just the sweetest thing, and it it honestly just eliminated all of my fears of adding in this third baby, baby Scarlet. And so it's something I'm really grateful for, and it really does round out the family, the third baby. Like for some reason, our family's just functioning a little better. It's like the two older kids are kind of in cahoots and doing their own thing more and leaning on each other a little bit more, and then obviously one has to monitor them, and then I'm either with the baby or Scotty's with the baby, but I don't know what it is. For some reason, it just feels it feels complete and it feels like more of like a dare I say well-oiled machine right now. I mean, we're getting in the groove of this new life and kind of just like our schedule and our nightly routine. I mean, we have help, which has been amazing. We have our full-time nanny, and I really think a lot of this has to do with the kids' age gap and how both of the kids are in school. Aspen's in five days a week from 9 to 12:30, and Bash is in twice a week from 9 to 1230 as well. And they go to the same school. So it's nice the days that they're both in school, and it's just me and Scarlett at home in the first half of the day. And then the days that Bash is home, we have our nanny start in the morning to really help with him, and she really spearheads the two older kids so I can be full-time with Scarlett while Scotty's working. And she gets the kids out of the house the second half of the day, so I can start dinner at 5 p.m. And they come back from the park at between 5:45 and 6 when they eat, and then she leaves, and then Scotty and I kind of tag team the three kids from 6 to 7:30. 7:30 is usually Aspen and Bash's bedtime, and then we're up with the baby until we get the baby down to sleep. And so we kind of just switch off, and it's been working, and you know, there's been nights that have gone batshit crazy, but for the most part, it feels much smoother than anticipated. Like either I'll handle the kids' bed uh bath time and Scotty will be with the baby, or vice versa. And it's just been working, that's all I can say. And so, for anyone who's nervous about one, if you're considering having a third child, or if you're already pregnant and having a third child and you're like, How the hell are we gonna do this? You just do it and it works. And obviously, like support plays a huge role in that, and I'm so grateful to have our family around when we need them and also our full-time nanny. We are currently, I think I spoke about this before. We do have a temporary night nurse, which has been saving our butts right now with the other two and just the early morning um wakings and all of that, and so I'm so grateful to have that support, and that definitely does play such a big role in it. So it's something that we really thought like this is the only way we can pull this off, and so we really did budget and just like strategize this from the very beginning of like what's the best way for us to have the best postpartum experience and newborn phase, and it really came down to that, and I think a lot of my previous issues with postpartum anxiety and depression really came from a lot of being overwhelmed and sleep deprived. And I'm the type of person that if I don't sleep, my entire world is crumbling down the next day. So really trying to prioritize that as much as we can during this time has been really important. So that's something that's been easier, but because we've built in the support and the structure, which I'm again so grateful for. I know that's not always the case, and it hasn't been the case with the last two babies at all. And so it's nice that we've been able to kind of like level up and evolve this third time around because I genuinely don't know how people have more than two kids, three or four, without having that kind of support around you, especially your family, just for the emotional support, even just coming over for dinner, they don't even have to do anything for you or for the baby, it's just like that company to distract you, get your mind off, like if you have a witching hour with your baby, something like that.

Breastfeeding Curveballs And Formula Choices

SPEAKER_01 14:40

Okay, now for the things that have been a little more difficult than anticipated. One, I'm just gonna start with my breastfeeding journey because I've had a few people DM me being like, would love for you to share this. And I think part of it's probably because I've shared in the past that I've had issues with it. For anyone who doesn't know, with aspen, I had a low milk supply probably from week three or four when I had my our lactation consultant come over and it just kept going down and down every time she'd kind of bump up her ounces. So we started implementing formula at um a few weeks old, and I was triple feeding, which if for anyone who doesn't know, it's you're breastfeeding, then you're following up with formula, and then you're pumping every single feed. So it was taking almost double to three times the amount of time and energy um with every feed. And I did that for seven months. I can't even believe I'm saying that. The thought that I did that, I was like, who was I? Like I must have been in such a deep dark hole. And I do think a lot of my postpartum depression stemmed from burning myself out with that, where I felt like I was a human cow 24-7. I I barely could shower. I was constantly just like in a bra and sweatpants. Yeah, I promised myself I would I would not do that again because the second I stopped breastfeeding, I felt so much better. Granted, I was actually pregnant the next month again, unintentionally. But for those few weeks after stopping breastfeeding, I felt really damn good. And then with Bash, I talk about I've talked about this so often, but he went straight to the NICU and he had blood sugar issues. And I guess with that, you have to be uh feeding from a bottle because they have to measure how much they have before they do all the various testing to pass them. And so from the beginning, we had to implement bottles and I couldn't breastfeed, and then he had a really bad tongue tie. So by nine or day nine or ten is when I started to try to breastfeed again. What was the first opportunity I really had? And we got like a few feedings in, and then it just wasn't working, and so I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna exclusively pump. And that ended up feeling like a worse, not decision, it was a better decision just because he wasn't latching, but you lose the bonding element, and I think that was why I wanted to hold on to breastfeeding for so long, was like, I want that bonding sweet time with my baby. So when I was exclusively pumping for six weeks, I was literally just a cow and I was doing it for him and to store milk in two ounce intervals because apparently, if you can, if a baby gets two ounces of breast milk a day, that meets um the like that's like the minimum for getting the mom's antibodies. So I was like, great, I'm gonna be storing two ounces at a time and freezing it to get him through six season, through like the winter. And then at six weeks old, we found out that Bash had an entire cow's milk protein allergy. So all of the milk that I had stored was a complete waste as a form of food. I could obviously put it in his bath and um hope maybe save it for when he was like eight months or a year to test again. But at that point, I was like, you know what? This is my sign that I need to give it up because I've worked so hard over the last month and a half, and now we can't use this. And for my own mental well-being, and just I just I called it quits. That was like the last straw where I was like, no, no, like this is a sign. And I felt really good about it after. And again, I always lead with like as long as they're fed and they're happily fed, like if they're if they're doing good on it, like you should feel good about it. So those were my experiences with the last two. This time around, I think it was our second night home, or our first maybe our first night home. Oh my gosh. Um, we thought she was just having a crazy witching hour and screaming nonstop because I was feeding her like for like 45 minutes, an hour long. And um, and this was like every couple hours, and she was screaming before bed. And Scotty and I were triggered by like Aspen's colic. We're like, oh no, we're we have another one like this. And then all of a sudden, I just gave her some stored colostrum and she sucked the entire thing down. She went through all of my colostrum in night one, and I thought that was gonna be for like emergencies like months down the road. And so I clearly wasn't producing enough colostrum, my milk hadn't come in in time, and we were desperate. So we went on to at giving her some formula. I think it was the next day when I didn't have any more colostrum um stored and my milk hadn't come in yet. It came in a I feel like it came in like a little late. Um, and so from the beginning, we started formula with Scarlet, and we I found I hadn't seen this brand around before. I feel like it was pretty new. Then um with bash. With bash, we tried hip, and then because it was cow's milk protein allergy, we had to go to an amino acid after going to a specialist. I think we it we were on Neutramogen, and then we moved to um oh Ellocare was the one with Bash. And so this time around, I saw I came across Nara Organics, and from my research, it's one of the cleanest, newer brands of formula out there. And Scarlett absolutely loved it from the beginning. We had no issues, so we was so happy on it, and then around like the eight or ninth um day mark, she started getting really bad. You could see she was just in a lot of pain, and so and she definitely projectile vomited. It was twice over two days, like full emptying of the stomach. And we just thought she was overfed. Going to our pediatrician, she said if her brother had a full Calmok protein allergy, it increases the likelihood that she does as well too. And I was also pumping um every feed as well, so uh I ended up trying to go dairy-free and then pumped out the dairy and just stored it, and then she we've switched her to a new Tramogen. And so far, the hydrolyzed formula has been really good for her, and I've been pumping nonstop. I also incorporated breastfeeding again, and on day three-ish, to like rewind a little, sorry, like this is all in my brain, but on day three-ish, she started to not latch, and I was freaking out and really sad about it. So we were leaning more on formula and I was just pumping. But now, week, I want to say at the beginning or at the end of week two, she started latching again, and now she wants to breastfeed every single feed in the day, and so we're doing that. I'm following up with a bottle, and I'm not triple feeding, but we're breastfeeding when we can, and you know, I'm not really counting what she gets from my boob. I'm just making sure to count everything she gets from the bottle, and anything from my boob is just like an additional. So she's taking about three ounces of feed every like three-ish hours. She's starting to sleep really well. She's can go three to three and a half hours long, which is great. So that's kind of where we're at. Like, I'm pumping when I can, usually two to three times a day, morning, midday, uh late night before bed. And then I'm just breastfeeding whenever I can here and whenever she's wanting the boob. Like, if she doesn't want the bottle, I'll stick her on the boob. And most of the time she's like, Great, I wanted this. That's why I was whining. And if she's over the boob but still looks like she's hungry, I'll give her a bottle. So I've just eliminated all the pressure this time around. And I know our breastfeeding journey is not going to last too long. Or maybe it will. Who knows? I'm just trying to have zero expectations this time around and also like manage expectations with the other two. Like I have no idea how third-time moms exclusively breastfeed. And if you're one of them, like, are you exclusively breastfeeding? How do you do it? How do you do it with your morning routines with your other kids? Getting them up, changing diapers, getting them ready for school, making breakfast, making lunch. Like something I've been really struggling with is like, how am I supposed to breastfeed my baby while also attending to my other kids? And then if I'm due for a pump, but I'm busy getting the kids ready for school, my boobs are bursting and they're burning. And I just don't understand like the logistics of it. I'm really struggling with that. So I wanted to be honest, being like, I don't know where I'm at with this, but this is what I'm doing. And it's just, it's very uh, I want to say casual with my boobs. And so that's the only best way to describe it, I guess.

D-MER Feelings And Postpartum Anxiety

SPEAKER_01 23:11

Also, something that kind of goes hand in hand with this that I've been struggling with is experiencing, I don't know how to say this, but it's I call it Demur, but it's D-M-E-R, which is dysphoric milk ejection reflex. Yeah, I think that's what you say. I actually I'm gonna pull up a definition to describe it to you. So it's a hormonal involuntary drop in dopamine causing temporary anxiety, dread, and irritability. It usually stops within minutes. So this is something that I get every time I start to breastfeed or pump. And it's like this dark cloud and just wave of sadness and anxiety that comes over my entire body when I my immediately once I start pumping milk, whether I'm breastfeeding or pumping, and it's to the point where like I want to jump out of my skin. Like it feels so sickening in my body. And there's been a couple times during it where I'm like, I just need to stop nursing or pumping and just quit because that's how bad it feels in the moment. Like I never want to experience this again. And that's something I had no idea what it was until I I think I discovered it after months and months of nursing with Aspen. It was just something I was like, why am I not enjoying breastfeeding as much? Like, why am I feeling sad during it? Like, I feel like it should be a time that you cherish and you love and should almost like calm you and soothe you as it is for the baby. And then I think I was like Googling, this is before chat and in 2022, and I didn't realize it was a thing, but it was. So demur is what I'll call it. You guys might know better than I do, but um, it's been something that I have been struggling with around breastfeeding and pumping and just like my time and timeline of how long I'll be doing this with because it's it is an icky feeling. And for anyone who has no idea about it, and you're like, wait a minute, like I've been feeling this way too. That's what it is. It's not just like in your head, it's actually a drop of dopamine that's happening in your body to make you feel that way. And then lastly, something I've been kind of struggling with is postpartum anxiety again. I feel like I haven't, I haven't felt too depressed, but the anxiousness sometimes gets to me where I can't attach it to anything going on in my life, but I just get this like pit in my stomach or like my stomach sinking feeling out of nowhere. And it usually doesn't last too long, but all of a sudden it's just like this icky feeling, and I can shake it off, but I do really think that this time around, I mean it's only been three weeks, so it's early days, but this time around, being on Lexapro, my five milligram dosage, has really kind of brought up my baseline. So I probably would be feeling 10 times worse if I didn't have that support and just that kind of um distance between me and my feelings and my what's happening to me hormonally. So I am so glad that I decided to stay on that in pregnancy and then now postpartum. And who knows, I'll probably go back to my doctor and evaluate my dosage and see how I'm feeling. And I'm just trying to pay really close attention and see if I need to bump up to 10 milligrams again. I'm on like such a low dose, but I do think it's been really beneficial this time around so far. So that's kind of how these first three weeks have been. That was sorry, that was like such a rant. I don't think I was anticipating it to be that long, but once I started going, I just kept going. And so yeah, we'll

VBAC Q&A And Labor Prep

SPEAKER_01 26:46

see. Okay, so I want to get into the birth and postpartum QA answers because I got so many great questions from you guys, and I do think it'll be super helpful for anyone, especially considering a V back. Um, that's where most of the questions came from. How did you prep for having a V back and what do you think made it most successful? Okay, so this is a great question because I do think there are things that you can do that help encourage going into labor or having a great birth, but I also do think that some of it is just completely out of your control, especially when the baby comes. Like you can do all the things in the world, but at the same time, the baby is going to come when the baby is ready and your body is ready. So there were things that I did. I'm not going to swear by and say this is exactly what made my birth experience my birth experience, but I think the biggest thing for me to prep for having a V back was just making sure that my body and my pelvis and everything was in the right position for me to literally give birth that way because the last time, not that my body wasn't, but I hadn't had a vaginal birth in so long, in literally four years, that I just wanted to make sure that my pelvis and everything was aligned. One thing that I did the first time around before ever giving birth was work with a um, she was like a her name's Dr. Danny. She was a chiropractor, but also like a craniologist and intuitive. And she was the one who told me that my pelvis was kind of tilted. So if I would have given birth in that way, the head might have gotten stuck. So really making sure that my pelvis was aligned was something the first time around that um I feel like made such a difference. So kind of doing the same thing this time around. I did a lot of stretching. If anyone knows the mild circuit, um, I talked about this before, but I do think that helped a lot with opening up the hips and the pelvis and just making sure that your body is like loosening up for a good labor. Um, and then also I did the raspberry leaf tea. I did the evening primrose supplements, I think. I personally think that they do a great job in softening your cervix to help prepare you for labor. So that was something I started at 37 weeks. I was walking a lot and I was constantly on my feet, which they do say the last few weeks, like walk at least 30 minutes a day. And I do think that helped a lot because every time I went on a 30 plus minute walk, I did start to feel more Braxton Hicks and I did start to feel more pressure down there. And I feel like it really helped getting the baby to drop. So I would recommend that for a V-back. And then also something I do swear by in labor prep is going to an acupuncturist. And I did have Dr. Christine, who's my acupuncturist, on a couple episodes ago, and she can talk all about how it helps prep your body. Um, but I had two sessions, and it really does help channel all the energy downward, which essentially is encouraging the baby to come out. And so I do swear by that when going into your final weeks of pregnancy. Okay, next, is there a certain age gap purposely to increase your chances of VBAC? So I'm pretty sure that the doctors want a year and a half age gap, like 18 months, in order to have a VBAC to allow your body and your incision and your uterus to heal. Since Scarlett, like her others, weren't like fully planned with our timeline. We were two years and eight months. And so my body was perfectly healed, and I was a great candidate for having a V back, so I felt really confident in that going into it. Okay, so someone asked postpartum underwear and diaper recs. So I, this time around, I used always discreet diapers, and I seriously think that these are so much better than just getting briefs and putting like a massive pad in them. This is TMI, but like with the diapers, like you actually bleed into them, so you don't have to worry about leaking or anything like that. So the always discrete I used for like the first few days, and then I switched to like the briefs with the pad when the blood started lightening up more. Also, if you are inflamed or you tear down there, you have to get the Frida ice pack pads. They were my lifesaver with aspen. I I went through so many of them, and just like putting the witch hazel um and the foam on it, and then sitting on them, it was like a game changer. Okay, so someone asked to compare my C-section to my V-back, and as I mentioned before, like they were so different, and there are so many people who absolutely love their C-sections. I just got so sick from mine, and the recovery was so much harder than anticipated that my V back was a million times better. Um, so if you're someone who didn't have the greatest C-section experience and you are a good candidate for a V back, meaning like your body progressed on its own. So definitely check with your doctor. But if you were having a C-section because your baby was breached or something that didn't have to do with your body just not progressing, I would definitely say go for a V back if you're feeling like you want to and you do trust and love your support team and your doctor and whatnot. Um, it was something that I was nervous about and I didn't really have anyone who had it experience and had a VBAC before. And so I just felt it was just such a redemption for me. And so I'm 100% V back if your body is healthy and you get the okay from your doctor, because there are things where doctors do not recommend having a VBAC. Okay,

Age Gap Advice And Postpartum Gear

SPEAKER_01 32:19

so someone asked, Did I get the epidural? Yes, absolutely. I've gotten an epidural each time, and every time I go into it, being like, Look, I don't know what's going to happen, but I will I will cross that bridge when I get there, and each time I've definitely gotten the epidural. And someone was like, I'm so scared to get the epidural. I've seen what the needle size looks like. Girl, no. When your contractions take you to outer space and you are in so much pain, anything feels better than them. So I did not even think twice, especially this last time when they asked if I wanted an epidural, I was like, absolutely, yes. Like these contractions are so bad. They start there, they were getting so painful that they were actually making me feel so sick, um, like I could throw up. And so I was so ready for that epidural down to the second I was like, just stick it in my back. I don't care. I need something to relieve this pain because it started getting excruciating, and I swear I was like breaking Scotty's knuckles. So, in the moment, like you do not care if your contractions are that bad at all. Also, something that I forgot, they do numb you before, and I feel like the numbing is almost worse than the epidural because it sends like a burning sensation through your body. And I I got two numbing shots. So those were the worst. And then the epidural, it does this weird like zinging thing, and they warn you, they're like, Oh, you might feel like a zing, and it's literally like a zap as it like goes in, I think, because it hits the nerves. Um, but I will say this time around, I must have just gotten the best anesthesiologist, or is that what they are with an epidural? I think so, right? Where he gave me such a great one that I felt so good and it wore off so well that literally an hour or two after giving birth, I was like, I could get up and walk around. They're like, no, please don't. Like, please sit your ass in your chair. You're not allowed to. But I was so ready to just walk around. I felt like nothing ever happened besides I got the epidural itches. My whole body, like, you just want to like itch your entire body, especially your stomach. So I was dealing with that, but like I would take that 10 times over, feeling nauseous or feeling just like I felt really nauseous after the first time I got the epidural, where Scotty got me sugarfish, I think, to celebrate. And I was like, I'm not loving this raw fish in the hospital right now after having an epidural, like I'm okay. This time around, we got no boo, and I was all

Epidural Fears And What It Felt Like

SPEAKER_01 34:39

about it. Okay, someone asked, what do you find the hardest, postpartum or first trimester? And honestly, this question gets me because they're both hard, maybe equally hard, um, but in different ways. I want to say that the first trimester, okay, maybe the first trimester I would vote is actually harder than postpartum, just because for me, I feel so much sicker. My body takes a toll on my body for longer, like physically sick. And then postpartum, it's like, yes, you're healing for a few weeks, but then it kind and it gets less and less. Where first trimester, like I only got s sicker and sicker and sicker until I hit a peak and then it started tapering off. Where postpartum, it's like you physically like you're in the worst pain at the beginning, and then it gets better and better. But mentally, I do feel like mentally postpartum is harder for me because I'm feeling weak in my body. I'm feeling sleep deprived. I'm feeling, you know, like my cup is empty. And it's such a mental game. And it kind of turns into Groundhog's Day every single day for every single week. It's like the first few weeks you're running out of adrenaline. And so it seems easier than when you hit like the three, four, five, six month week mark, maybe even later, where like you're like, oh no, this is real life. Like, this isn't just like, you know, a few days of it being cute and whatnot. It's like, no, no, no. Now it's like, oh, we're doing the same thing over and over again, and it lasts, it lasts longer than you probably anticipate. It's like, but it does fly by at the same time. It's like they say, like the days are long, but then like the weeks and the months are so short. So as much as in the moment you're like, wow, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you do look back, especially at the three-month mark, you're like, how did we just get out of that newborn haze? Like, how did that happen? It almost feels like a fever dream of like you're just in like this like tunnel vision for so long and so long. And then one day you're like, oh my gosh, like we're kind of we're poking out of it. Like we're we're coming out. And so, yeah, I say my vote is probably first trimester just because it lingers longer, it's so much harder on the body. But then postpartum for me, like mentally, is always like a challenge. Like it's always a little um intimidating of like I feel a little lost. I get really lost in the postpartum phase of like myself and my needs and who I am, if that

Postpartum Vs First Trimester Reality Check

SPEAKER_01 37:11

makes sense. Someone said, How do you stay calm and patient waiting for spontaneous labor for your V back? That is a great ass question because I feel like I was not. I was anxiously awaiting going into labor naturally or just praying for it. And it was weird because I felt like a first-time mom. I'd never gone into labor naturally before. I was induced with aspen and obviously had a C-section with brat bash. So every like ache, pain, or feeling I was like, am I going into labor? Is this just like those last few minutes uh or those last few weeks of and symptoms of being pregnant? And so I felt like I was constantly gaslighting myself, just stressed about going to labor naturally, because with a V back, they always recommend you going into labor naturally because when you're induced, they give you the medicine and um you want to they want to make sure that it's not bringing on too high of contractions, which could cause your uterus to rupture. Um, so I was just more stressed about really trying to make sure that I was going into labor naturally and didn't have to be induced or go past my 40 weeks because Scarlet was measuring bigger than my other babies. But to keep myself distracted and calm, I feel like I just, well, to keep myself calm, I just kept myself distracted, if that makes sense. And um just to pass through it, I just kind of focused on trying to do things that helped get myself into labor naturally. And in my whole mindset was it can't hurt, right? Like it can only help you go into labor. And if it's if it's not, that's totally fine. But I'm gonna do everything in my power to support and encourage labor. Obviously, not try to like force things. I'm not gonna drink. Um, oh my gosh, what is it? You drink my brain, my my postpartum brain, you guys, is so bad right now. But um you drink that stuff. Sorry guys. You can look it up. Um, but I was like curb walking. I was getting outside, just like walking so much and even chasing my kids. I was also going to berries up until 37 weeks pregnant, I want to say. Not a lot, maybe like once a week. But I was on the treadmill and I'd be running for like three, four minutes at a time. And I was like, maybe this is just getting the baby's head to go down, down, down. And like I definitely was peeing myself while running a little bit. I definitely was feeling pressure and I was not overdoing it. I would just run for a little and then walk. But um, I definitely stayed active, and I do think that that did help, but it just definitely took my mind off of it, and also just like being at peace, like the baby knows when to come. And if the baby's not coming, it's probably for good reason they need to cook a little longer in there. And so um just remembering that you can you have so much in your power and control, and the rest is just up to your baby and life, and so just reminding yourself that every night before you go to bed. Did you do membrane sweep or perennial massages? Okay, so I never did a perennial massage, I haven't ever. Um, and also, I mean, no one they can help, but I guess there's little research on how much they help and if they do prevent tearing because people can still tear after getting them. I personally I didn't tear and I never had them before. So I really do think it's one of those things of like, okay, it can't hurt you. You can do it if you want to do it, but do I think you have to do it? No. And then a membrane sweep. I was actually going to get a membrane sweep. My plan with my doctor was to get one at 39 weeks. Um, and so my my goal was if I if I was still pregnant by 39 weeks, like a few days after 39 weeks, I would get a membrane sweep in hopes of going into labor 24 to 48 hours later before I hit the 40-week mark and would be induced for a V back. So luckily I didn't need a membrane sweep. I was kind of excited to to get one and experience it. That sounds so weird because apparently they're kind of painful or uncomfortable, but I was fully head in the game ready for a membrane sweep to help induce labor. Um, but I made it to 38 weeks and three days, and I um and then that's when I gave birth, but I did do a cervical check at 37 weeks, 37 and a half, and they said I was three centimeters, three and a half centimeters dilated and 70% of face. And after that, I did experience cramping and I did experience a little bleeding, and I thought I was going into labor from just the cervical exam, but turns out I wasn't. I gave birth six days later, but I do think it did it did something. So if you are up for it, like do rec do ask for a cervical exam around that

Waiting For Labor And Membrane Sweeps

SPEAKER_01 41:52

mark as well. Okay, so the last question that I will get to, I have a little bone to pick with some people who've been attacking me on social media. I feel very um uncomfortable answering this question just because I didn't get the best response on social media, not from anyone who follows me, but from trolls. I think I got into the wrong side of the algorithm where like all of these really old mean people started attacking me over my name suggestions. So someone asked for baby girl name recommendations. So for anyone listening, I did a part one and a part two of my baby girl um name recommendations on Instagram. And there were, yeah, there were some like I don't want to I I don't want to throw out like generic old people's names that um could come after me or offend anyone, but there were some rude baby boomers on there just attacking me over my names, and I thought I I like I love them and I stand behind them, but there were a lot of people who didn't like them. I'm gonna pull up my list and I wanna see if there's any other baby girl names that I didn't share that I feel comfortable sharing. Oh, one of them, I love the name Collins for a girl. I think Collins is so pretty. It was one that I didn't include in my um Instagram reels, so I will throw that one out there. Okay, I actually do have a couple more names that I never included. I'm just realizing this now. So another name that I loved was Merritt, M-E-R-R-I-T-T. Spell it however you want, but I love the name Merit and I loved the name Haven for a girl. I think that is so pretty. I'll also go through some of the names that I had in the Instagram reels. I also have them on TikTok too, if you want to see them there, or you can save them there for future um baby names for if you're getting pregnant anytime soon. Okay, so I love the name Miller, Dove, Banks, Row, R-O-W-E, love it, um, or Munro, which I did share. Um, Winslow, Sky, Winter, Honor, Marlowe, V. Montana and Rocky, all for girls. And then for boys, I loved Montana, Storm, Lucky, Rush. Dune is my favorite boy name. I just think it is so strong, especially if you have a last name that starts with a D. Oh my gosh. Also for a boy, I love the name Arlo. And then last one, Oak. Anyways, I got a lot of hate for especially the boy names. People started coming after me, being like, nouns and verbs are not names or places aren't names. And I'm like, okay, I'm not telling you you have to name your babies this. I'm not trying to offend you, but these are things that I like. But thank you for your input.

Baby Name Ideas And Handling Trolls

SPEAKER_01 44:35

Anyways, I feel like that's it for this week. I hope I answered a lot of your questions. Also, let me know if there's any guests or anything you want me to cover in the next month or two's episodes. We do have some great guests. This podcast is as much yours as it is mine. So I want us to brainstorm together in any way that I can serve you with guest topics, anything, or even things that I'll personally be experiencing in my first year of raising Scarlet. Let me know, and I'm more than happy to share. Thank you guys so much again for listening. If you made it this far, you're a real one. Um, and I'm gonna have a Mother's Day giveaway coming up soon, so look out for that. It'll be super easy, but it's just my way of treating one to maybe a few moms, depending on how many things I can gather together. Um, because we are rock stars. We are,

Listener Requests And Mother’s Day Giveaway

SPEAKER_01 45:25

dare I say, the foundation to our families. Um, but Mother's Day is coming up, so make sure to get your list ready for your family. And love you guys so much. Appreciate you, and see you next week.