Ep. 30 Postpartum Doesn’t End At 12 Weeks

Twelve weeks postpartum is supposed to feel like a turning point, but what if it feels… weirder? I’m officially past the “fourth trimester,” and I still don’t feel magically restored. My hormones are doing their own thing, my anxiety flares when I try to control the uncontrollable, and just when I think our routine is set, my baby changes the rules again. If you’ve ever wondered why postpartum recovery doesn’t come with a clear end date, you’re going to feel seen here. I share what’s hard right now, what’s getting better, and the mindset shifts that help me stop racing my own recovery. 

I talk honestly about the pressure to bounce back and why I don’t buy the idea that postpartum is a competition. We get into the real factors that shape healing, including birth recovery, mental health, and baby temperament. I also share my decision to stop breastfeeding and pumping at eight weeks, how a cow’s milk protein allergy influenced that choice, and the practical antibody insight that helped me release a ton of feeding guilt.

Then we zoom into the day-to-day: inconsistent newborn sleep, developmental leaps, treating reflux, nap refusal, babywearing exhaustion, and the comparison trap when other babies “sleep through the night.” I also tell the story of flying alone with my newborn, what I packed, what surprised me, and why traveling with a baby can actually build confidence. If you’re in the messy middle of postpartum anxiety, body changes, and identity shifts, hit play, then subscribe, share with a mom who needs it, and leave a quick review with your biggest 12-week postpartum surprise.

More Of What's Discussed:
• redefining postpartum as a long season, not a deadline 
• letting go of bounce back pressure and postpartum comparison 
• stopping breastfeeding at eight weeks, processing mom guilt, choosing what works 
• navigating cow’s milk protein allergy, pumping and storing milk for antibodies, leaning on formula 
• newborn sleep reality, leaps, reflux symptoms, and what changed after medication 
• crib nap refusal, babywearing fatigue, and why “sleep when the baby sleeps” can feel impossible 
• flying solo with a baby, what helped, and how people actually respond 
• the 12-week “in between” stage: not survival mode, not fully yourself 
• body changes, body indifference, postpartum workouts for strength, and shifting personal style 
• healing not being linear, and celebrating the wins you’ve already earned 

As always, DM me with any questions, anything you want to hear about on the podcast, any special guest you want to hear from. xo Tayla

Follow The Milk Podcast on all platforms for weekly episodes that remind you you're not alone, you're not crazy, and you're doing way better than you think.

Follow & Subscribe For More:
YouTube: @TheMilkPodcast

Instagram: @TheMilkPodcast_@TaylaBurke
TikTok: @TheMilkPodcast @Tayla_Burke

Transcript

Welcome To The Milk

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to The Milk, the podcast that pours it all out. The messy, the magical, and the mildly unhinged moments of motherhood and womanhood. Real talk, honest stories, and reminders that none of us really know exactly what we're doing. And that's kind of the best part. I'm Taylor, your host and soon-to-be mom of three. So let's laugh, learn, and milk the season of life for all that it's worth.

The Myth Of Postpartum Ending

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Welcome back to another week of the milk. Hi, ladies. And just like that, I have officially hit the end of the fourth trimester. I am now 12 weeks postpartum. One, I feel like it has flown by as it always seems to do when you get to the end of it, but I do feel like I tackled and I fought and I conquered a lot in the last 12 weeks. And I feel like I have a lot to say about the fourth trimester and just how people consider it the end of being postpartum. I'm here to say that I personally don't feel like postpartum just has a cut and dry end date or something that you just finish suddenly. Like magically, I was supposed to wake up today and just feel like my entire identity is restored. Like my daily anxiety has just vanished and my body is just automatically healed. Not to mention that my hormones are suddenly in check. To be completely transparent, my life certainly does not feel like it is just put back together. Somehow it actually feels a little more chaotic than it did weeks ago. Just when you feel like you're getting to a good stride with your family, with the baby, something shifts, something changes, and you kind of feel like back to the drawing board. So that's kind of where I'm at at the 12-week mark. Postpartum really is forever. Like you are always post-birth, your entire life. After having a baby, that is always the time of your life after birth. Postpartum is forever. You are forever in the period after birthing a child. But with that said, I do feel like one day it kind of just hits you and you look around and realize that you are laughing more than you're crying. Getting out of the house feels closer to normal than it usually does. You're doing more things that feel like you again, and you're honestly just leaning into the phase of life you're in rather than trying to just survive it.

Ditching The Bounce Back Race

SPEAKER_00 2:20

I also feel like there is absolutely no rush when you are postpartum. For some reason, every time I see it on social media, it just feels like a rat race where moms are trying to get back to feeling great, bounce back, get back to normal life, get back into the gym, and almost act like those postpartum days don't really exist. And almost like there's this competitive nature to it. And something that I feel like I've really leaned into this time around is that I wholeheartedly believe like there is not a finish line, and we are not competing against one another to make it through the postpartum phase. There is no award for getting back to life sooner than others. There is no award for going and running a half marathon before other people. There is no award for taking your first trip with a baby before someone else. Everyone is at their own pace in their healing and recovery journey. And it so depends on the type of birth you have, whether you tore, whether you had a C-section, if you're experiencing baby blues, postpartum depression, if you have a sleepy newborn, if you have a newborn that won't sleep. There are so many factors that play into the postpartum time. And I was honestly humbled this time around. I feel like physically my recovery was so quick and I felt back to normal much quicker than I anticipated. But then I also somewhat felt, I don't want to say trapped, but just way more overwhelmed and anxious because of Scarlett's personality and how I never really had that sleepy newborn. And she would fight naps, and she, you know, has been struggling with both naps and nighttime sleep. She's had a really bad reflux. So the postpartum phase has been a pleasant surprise in physical recovery. But I think on the flip side, I've been struggling a lot more than anticipated with the baby side of it, which has just been something that I have been forced to lean in on and just really take things day by day, night by night, morning by morning, because I can't tell you how many mornings I've just felt like such a hot mess in over my head with the other two kids feeling so sleep deprived, starting my days in tears. But I'm here to say we are starting to make it out the other side. And again, I'm just really proud of what I've accomplished the last 12 weeks, even though there are days where it feels like it is close to nothing besides keeping my kids alive. So that's just my food for thought that I wanted to kick us off to talk about how postpartum, just because I'm 12 weeks postpartum, doesn't mean my postpartum journey is over. Doesn't mean that I automatically feel amazing and everything is fine and dandy. Like, no, my hormones are still all over the place. My period is starting to come back and I am going wack-a-doodle. Scarlet is still fighting naps. I'm still getting crazy anxiety over trying to control certain things. Life still goes on as normal once you hit the end of the fourth trimester. That's something I've just always hated, and I just had to get off my chest for anyone who feels like right when they hit the fourth trimester or maybe it's in the near future, that like they're like, oh my gosh, I don't feel ready to be out of this phase. Why do I not feel ready? Why do I still feel a certain way? It is perfectly fine to take as long as you want to get back to normal life, to feel better. No one is rushing you, probably besides yourself and your expectations. And I'm just here to say, take as long as you possibly want and you need. There have been times that I look back and I was like, darn, I wish I really took more advantage of those days when I had it. So yeah,

Stopping Breastfeeding Without Guilt

SPEAKER_00 6:08

that's it. Okay, so I think I wanted to kick us off with talking about where I left off in the last episode where I kind of covered weeks four to eight. Right after hitting eight weeks postpartum, I ended up stopping breastfeeding slash pumping. This was a decision that was made mainly because we found out Scarlett had her cow's milk protein allergy, and I just I could not cut out dairy. I need that Greek yogurt, that cottage for my extra protein, like first thing in the morning. I just found myself snacking so much more when I tried to cut out dairy, and I was like, I am not getting the right nutrients. It feels more unhealthy to try and cut out this big food group for me than continue it when Scarlett was absolutely loving her hip HA formula. So after that, I decided that I was going to exclusively pump. And I was doing this in order to, and you might be like, why are you pumping and storing your milk if Scarlett has a cow's milk protein allergy? Great question. My pediatrician said that around eight-ish months she could grow out of the cow's milk protein allergy. Since Bash had it too, we introduced dairy back into his diet around 12 months. So just because they're allergic to dairy right now doesn't mean they won't be later on. So my thought process was I'm going to pump and store as much milk as I possibly can to get through flu season come December, Jan, February time because it is so great for their immunity. So something that I learned, I don't know how many people know this, but I was shocked when I found out. And I think this might help for anyone out there who's stressing about breastfeeding and giving your baby the antibodies, and maybe that is what's keeping you going, or maybe you are pregnant and you're worried about it. And anyways, I just think this is some really good knowledge. I read a study that your baby only needs, I think it's two and a half ounces of breast milk a day to get your the mom's antibodies. So I think that works out to was it like 40 mls or something? Anyways, I ended up storing my milk in three-ounce intervals so that when the time came when she was able to be introduced to dairy again, that all I would have to give her is those three ounces one time daily in order for her to have my antibodies. So it's not like she has to be breastfeeding around the clock all day, every day, in order to be receiving my antibodies, that I would be giving her exactly what she needed. So that really helped alleviate a lot of the stress on my shoulders where I didn't have to be pumping as much as I could, especially with a low milk supply, and I didn't have to feel extremely guilty of stopping breastfeeding at eight weeks. The second part of my decision to stop breastfeeding so early was my low milk supply. And it just was not possible to be triple feeding this time around with two other kids that have other big needs who have to be driven around multiple times a day for school and for activities. It was causing me a lot of stress and just feelings of overwhelm, where every single day it just felt so daunting and just like a math equation of how am I supposed to wake up, get Scarlett up, feed her, pump while she's still awake, and then one kid wakes up, and then I'm supposed to formula feed, and then I'm supposed like there were so many different puzzle pieces that every single morning I'd wake up and it was like a massive obstacle course to try to get through. And 10 out of 10 times it I couldn't do it alone, and I would skip a pump, and then I'd feel guilty about it that my milk supply was dipping, and it was just too much for me to take on emotionally. Um, and yes, I did feel guilty about it, but at the end of the day, Scarlett was happy on formula, she was getting to a really good place with her digestive issues, and I felt like I got to a decent place with storing my milk. I think I stored about 60 packets of the two and a half ounces, so that would have gotten us through two months of the winter and flu season, and she just became really happy with the bottle. She definitely would still soothe on the boob to go to bed, and whenever she wanted it, I would give it to her. But it came to a point where she just kind of stopped doing that. And I was like, if she's not struggling with it, I'm not struggling with it, like it is a good time to just call it quits. I told myself I wasn't going into it with expectations, but of course, like I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't have expectations of wanting it to go better than the last couple of times. So, yes, I was a little bit disappointed, but I feel like this time around I'm so much more experienced and weathered through it. Of like, you know what, the last few times I felt the biggest relief after stopping. And this time around, I felt the exact same thing. Like all of a sudden, my like my daily load just felt so much lighter. So just wanted to share that for anyone who's listening who might be in the thick of struggling with breastfeeding and just forcing something that might not be in your best interest due to like mom guilt or expectations you had beforehand. I just feel a lot of love for anyone out there who has those feelings. Of course, like there are moments in breastfeeding where, you know, your milk supply might level out and you don't think that you are producing enough, or maybe your baby's getting distracted. And there's always hurdles. Like hurdles don't mean it's the wrong decision, but I think where it is majority of the time just taking over your life in a negative way, it's something to just reevaluate. And I always say, a happy mom equals a happy baby. You are allowed to make these decisions without feeling guilty at all. Okay, so back to week

Sleep Struggles And Reflux Answers

SPEAKER_00 11:56

eight. This is when I feel like we got our very first longer stretch with Scarlett. The most she had done prior to that was about four hours straight in the middle of the night. This was the week where all of a sudden we got a random six-hour stretch, and I was like, oh my gosh, praise God. You know, we are seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. She is starting to make longer stretches, but of course, we got like one or two, and then it was back to every two to three hours, sometimes four. It's interesting because I feel like she has been our most inconsistent baby. And it's funny because it's like this is our third time around. Like we are doing the exact same thing as uh la as other times, if not better, because we are just so much more knowledgeable, and yet nighttime sleep has been the biggest struggle with her. But you have to give credit where credit's due. So I would give her a B minus in the nighttime sleep department during like the eight-week mark. But then, of course, around the nine-week mark, we have the first leap. If you know what that is, where babies like have a developmental jump. And I swear there were a few nights that week where I maybe went to sleep for two, three hours in total. And I remember being up from 2:30 in the morning and I never went back to sleep because I'd put her down and then 20 minutes later I'd have to pick her up again and then put her down and pick her up. And I was just a shell of a human. But then by week 10, and especially when we started putting her on reflux medicine, I think that was around the week 10. We all of a sudden, like the day we started, it's called Fomodidine, I believe. The day we started reflux medicine, I swear to God, we got an eight and a half hour stretch at week 10, which we I, you know, when you wake up and you're checking the monitor, being like, no, there's no way. Like, is she dead? Is everything okay? Like, what happened? Is she breathing? No, no, no. She's actually just having her first great sleep. And of course, you don't sleep well because you're just waiting for the baby to wake up crying, and when they don't, you're just restless through the entire night. But that was such a score that it just showed that she had been having really, really bad reflux that we were trying to nail down because at first it was a cow's milk protein allergy. So, like, there's no way she has reflux too. Um, maybe it's just the allergy that's still flaring up. No, our girl has both a cow's milk protein allergy and has really bad reflux. Something I think is really hard, especially around that like 10, 11, 12 week mark where babies are, you know, naturally taking longer strides with their sleep. I mean, something that I learned through our previous sleep consultant is that when a baby's eight weeks old, they're capable of sleeping eight, eight hours straight, nine weeks old, nine hours straight, ten weeks old, they're capable of sleeping 10 hours straight, and so on and so forth. And at this point, we were still, you know, getting anywhere from three to maybe a six or a seven hour stretch. And I just really found myself comparing my baby to other babies sleep. And I would hear about, you know, I'd run into a friend, they'd be like, oh, our baby is sleeping through the night, 10, 11 hour stretches, like we're so grateful, like, been so great. And I'm like, awesome. So I am, you know, right there with you, and I am dying inside. And it just made me feel like I was doing something wrong, even though I knew that like I've done this multiple times before. Like, I just still I felt I feel silly even saying this. It's almost like I felt like not unworthy, but just, you know, like incapable, I guess is a better word. Like incapable, like I'm now a third-time mom. How am I so incapable of getting my child to sleep, you know, even more than six hours? Like, I have her days logged too, and her naps logged, and her ounces logged every single day, day in and day out through the night, and what am I doing wrong here? So I just wanted to say that this is a reminder for myself too, that literally every baby is so different, and you could be doing everything, quote unquote, right, and your baby is taking their own time and they are on their own accord, and they are, you know, they're I keep reminding myself like how scary and I guess kind of uncomfortable it is to go from somewhere as warm as your womb where they can just sleep and eat when they want, however, you know, much they want when they want, and then go to this kind of like cold outside world, and maybe they're in a crib, maybe they're swaddled, they're wearing diapers all of a sudden, they're wearing clothes, like they're just struggling through life and trying to figure life out on their own timeline. So whenever I'm so sleep deprived or want to cry in the middle of the night, or I'm frustrated, being like, I'm trying, I've been up for an hour and a half in the middle of the night trying to get her back to sleep, or I'll put her down, and she cries and wants to get up again. I just remind myself, like they're just trying, they're these little bodies that are just trying to figure out this world that they are just getting used to.

Nap Battles And Babywearing Life

SPEAKER_00 17:05

So, recapping week 10 to 12, Scarlet started doing a lot better at night, but this girl does not want a nap in her crib. And, you know, people have told me just wait at eight weeks is a turning point. I waited till eight weeks. Probably got worse because then they're starting to get a little smarter, they're fighting harder, they're more opinionated. And so we have just, I've been wearing her a lot, and God forbid this girl wants to give us even a 45-minute crib nap. This is the point where she's lasting anywhere from two minutes to 30 minutes tops. Um, but we, you know, we are like desperate parents over here where I will swaddle her and I will put her in her stroller and just rock her in the dark praying to God and just have her in the stroller with another like three different sound machines. Like, we are desperate over here for some naps that are not on me because I can't even pee without her being attached to me. Like the whole saying of, oh, just sleep when the baby sleeps. How am I supposed to sleep when she is on my carrier? And this girl will not even let me sit down wearing the carrier. The second I try to just sit down and rest my feet for a second, she starts like kicking her legs, waking up, and I'm like, oh my gosh, God forbid, I take a break. I have to actually be head up, walking, bouncing, or even just standing. I cannot even be somewhat tilted. She does not like that. She's just, she's our preference child. She has a very strong preference with what she wants, and it's very specific. If you veer from that, she doesn't throw a fit. She's just like, I'm up.

Flying Solo With A Newborn

SPEAKER_00 18:45

Oh, something I did not mention was I was crazy enough to fly to New York from California on my own with Scarlett, and it was the first time I've actually ever flown with a child on my own. And I just remember looking back at the newborn phase and being so terrified to fly with a baby because God forbid that they cry on a flight, and I am just met with death glares from everyone on the plane. And if I can't console her, people would be so upset with me. And then I entered the toddler phase and traveling with toddlers. And wow, traveling with a baby suddenly felt like Christmas, like the best treat ever, where you can actually watch a movie or read a book or put your AirPods in and do something with toddlers that is just that's non-existent. And I gotta say, Scarlett was such an angel and a pleasure to travel with on the way there. I definitely was a little anxious beforehand, but I feel like I prepped the diaper bag really well. And she is just a happy camper when she's in my carrier. So she slept for two hours, she woke up, I fed her, she pooped, we changed her, we played for a little bit, I put her back in the carrier, she slept for two hours. And the way there, I'm usually a tough critic. I gave this girl an A plus. She killed it. We barely got a peep out of her. She was just on her best behavior for mommy. And while we were there, she slept decently for me. I was a little nervous of the time change with three hours. But I mean, babies, like it's kind of the best time to do it because they are not on a strict schedule, a strict timeline. And she really just napped on the go, even if it was in like 45-minute increments or 20-minute increments. Like for those few days, my goal was just to like make it through. And I feel like we did that. She she definitely did the first night was kind of a disaster with sleep. And the second two nights, she gave about a seven-hour stretch each night. But then again, we were up by 7 a.m., which is 4 a.m. back home, and we started our day. And then on the way home, she happened to be in her, I can't remember if it was the second or third leap, and I had no idea until I got home. On the flight, she was just so, so fussy, wasn't screaming, but just like unsettled, even in my carrier, which usually, if I put her in the carrier, it's like an off button. She's immediately okay. She was a little fussy even in there. I was fighting her to take a nap. And I was like, dang, why was she so fussy? Like, didn't understand. And then, of course, I opened my Wonder Weeks app and she was in her I think it was a third leap, and it was like the day where it like shows the stormy icon where it's like the the toughest time in the leap. And so that all made sense. But given given that, she again she did incredible for that long day. I mean, it took us, I think it was like a 12-hour travel day. So really proud of her. And yeah, I always say, like, especially for any first time moms or parents listening in, the best time to travel with a child, especially your first one, is when they are a baby because it builds your confidence. You get through great learning lessons of what to bring, what you forgot. And they're just like little blobs at that point. Like they're not crawling, they're not trying to climb on the seats, they're not trying to run through the hallways. So I always recommend. Yes, it might be a little nerve-wracking, but no one also cares as much about your baby crying or you struggling with your baby more than you do. It always seems like such a bigger deal from you than from anyone else. And nowadays, like everyone has noise-canceling headphones that like you think they're listening to the screaming if there's screaming that occurs. Like a lot of them are not. And the people who do shoot you glares, they're mostly like baby boomers that are just cranky all day, every day. And you'd be surprised by how many people actually offer to help you or give you little words of encouragement. I every time, like this last time when I was going to New York, there were so many random people like, oh, can I help you? Can I do this for you? Can I do that for you? Or oh wow, you're doing such an incredible job. And there's nothing better than a stranger complimenting you on something when, you know, it's like an anxious, everyone knows that parents traveling with kids, it's not that fun. You know, it's like we're just trying to get through. You feel stuck on a plane. Um, but there's nothing better for than someone like seeing you for what you're going through and just taking the time out of the day to cheer you on while you're doing

The Weird Middle Of 12 Weeks

SPEAKER_00 23:19

it. And I know I spoke about this in an Instagram carousel a couple weeks ago, but I had some food for thought about my perspective on what people don't tell you or talk enough about the 12-week postpartum period. Number one is that you are not in survival mode anymore, but you're also not feeling like yourself. It's like you are still tired, you're still feeling weak, you're still feeling overwhelmed, but you've gotten the hang of it a little bit more. And it's this weird in between where, you know, everyone talks about six weeks postpartum and, you know, prepping you for that and prepping you for your postpartum kit and the things you'll need and, you know, all those things, but there's this weird in-between that happens around the 12-meek week mark where people say, Oh, the fourth trimester's over, you know, postpartum is over. And it's like, okay, well, why don't I feel 100% yet? It's like, okay, maybe I'm not in survival mode, but I'm also not feeling super great about myself. I'm also not feeling like myself. So what am I? And I feel like that is not spoken about enough. It's like there's the two extremes of like, oh, the extreme of like just having a baby, and then the extreme of like, oh, when you feel like you've conquered that postpartum time, which like to me, it always happens around like the year mark. Like that's when I'm like, oh my gosh, like I made it through the first year after having a baby. But no one talks about the in between enough and then how like one day you can feel a certain way, and one day you can feel completely different. The next is that the visitors start trickling, and you know, your your village starts going back to normal life. It feels like everyone is back to normal life except for you. And you actually realize, like, oh no, this isn't temporary change, like this is just reality of like everyday life now. And that's a weird feeling because you know, that's when you finally realize, like, oh, the bubble, the newborn bubble burst, and life doesn't continue to slow down for everyone else around you. You kind of feel a little slower or stagnant compared to everyone else who hasn't had a baby. And everyone, you see everyone else getting back to normal life, and you see other people, you know, doing things on weekends and going on road trips and go and doing this and doing that, and you're kind of like, but wait, remember me? Like, I have a baby. I'm, you know, I'm still I'm still getting back to life at home. Number three is that each week, baby starts waking up to the world more, and it changes everything. You know, you feel like I want to say week eight to 12-ish, you start feeling like, oh, I've got the hang of this, we've got a routine going, we've got the rhythm, you know, baby's doing longer stretches, they're doing decent naps, and then all of a sudden, they're like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna flip all of this upside down and we're gonna start from the ground up again. And just everything changes. And something that I learned through motherhood, no matter what phase of life I was in or how old my child was, it was the same lesson from when they were newborn to when they were an infant to when they were a toddler. You think you have all your ducks in a row, and then something else changes it. For example, like there is always a sleep regression. It feels like you just get out of one, you take a breath, and then another one hits, and then the baby gets sick, and then that messes with their sleep, and then a baby starts teething and they're fighting naps and they're just fussy for days on end. There is always something that is going to come up and just mess with you getting comfortable. So, my thing is always never get too comfortable and also do not speak that shit out loud. Do not talk about how great your baby's sleeping or how great your baby's napping, because every time I've done that, something has come up and I'll be like, dang it, I shouldn't have said that. Next is that at 12 weeks, your body starts feeling stronger week by week, but it also doesn't exactly feel like yours. Maybe your hips are wider, maybe you have new stretch marks, maybe you have looser skin. I can tell you, after three kids, my stomach, my skin, the elasticity there is almost non-existent. Yes, I'm feeling stronger and yes, I'm feeling more confident about my workouts and I'm absolutely loving it. But I also look at my body and I'm like, oh my gosh, I've just never seen it like this before. And not saying I'm ashamed of it. I'm not at all, because I honestly look at my kids and I cannot fathom that my body grew them. But that's not to say I absolutely adore and love my body whatsoever, especially during the postpartum phase. My goal every time after I have a kid is just like body indifference, you know? Like I want to get back. I and I body indifference, but I also focus on gaining my strength back rather than just fixing the aesthetics of my body, if that makes sense. There's nothing better after having a baby than feeling strong again. At least that's my perspective and that's my experience. So that's always my goal. That's my goal right now is just really focus on building muscle and strengthening my arms, my legs. Another feeling that I think is not talked about, but every mom can relate to, is that you're starting to fit into more clothes, but your entire style feels different. You don't know what your style is anymore. You could be wearing the same clothes that you were wearing before having a baby, and you feel like you're in strangers' clothes. Please tell me I'm not alone in that. I feel like I've spoken with a lot of people who've said the same thing, but I could confidently say I feel like every single woman has felt that way after having a baby. Like all of a sudden you want to make changes to your wardrobe because nothing feels like you anymore. And I and it makes sense because we are not who we were before having this baby, right? Like our entire world and our perspective shifts and changes and we evolve and our interests change. It's like we go from a caterpillar from a butterfly, and we can no longer identify as that caterpillar that we were once before. So, all that to say that if you just had a baby and you look at your closet and you're like, why do I not identify with this anymore? Why do I not feel comfortable in these clothes anymore? You're not alone, and that is completely a normal experience to go through. Next is that I feel like your healing isn't linear. The amount of days I have felt so incredible and been like, wow, I'm feeling so great. And then the next day I feel like I take five steps backwards. Maybe it's with my anxiety and my mental health. Maybe I'm feeling so positive and optimistic. And then the next day I am so overwhelmed, so anxious, and just doubting my capability as a mom of three. There will be days that you feel like you're getting the hang of it. And then the next day you are so humbly reminded that you just had a baby three months ago. And lastly, something I feel like is so beautiful is that week by week, your confidence starts coming back and you look in the mirror and you start looking and feeling like yourself again. And there's nothing better than just seeing little glimpses of who you were blended with parts of who you're becoming as well. So that's kind of where I'm at. Like I look at myself in the mirror and I notice things that I appreciated about myself before, but I also notice changes in who I am and who I'm becoming since having Scarlet. And I think that's something really important to do. I think it's really important, especially at the 12-week mark, to just reflect on where you started and now where you're at. And there's certain things that you will feel behind in that you will feel like you don't have the hang of. But then I also think it's really important to acknowledge and just give yourself a pat on the back for everything that you've conquered in the past 12 weeks. Because guaranteed you have gone through shitstorms and sleepless nights and most likely your fair share of tears, but also like the happiest, most joyous moments with your baby, and that really deserves to be celebrated. So, yeah, I feel like we are making strides over here. Little Scarlet is 12 weeks old. She's starting to sleep a little better, she's getting all the big baby rolls, and I just love that phase where they start getting like thicker and chunkier, and you can almost like carry them like a football. They're just so much more durable where you're like, okay, I'm not gonna break you anymore. I can carry you around with one hand and you just kind of chill on my arm. There's also just nothing better than when they can start seeing you more clearly, and you walk into their room and they just start smiling and cooing and trying to talk. So I'm enjoying all of that until we hit the four-month sleep regression. That's probably around the corner. So I will definitely be back to talk about that.

What’s Next And How To Reach Me

SPEAKER_00 32:08

I also hired a sleep consultant, Ileana, who's been on the podcast before when I was doing Did We Jecome MILFs? I'm having her on again. I'll actually do like a day-by-day play-by-play with Ileana about my personal experience with her helping me sleep train Scarlett. And I will talk about what I think is like the misconception of the term sleep training and how it doesn't automatically mean the cried out method. That's not what we do whatsoever. It's so gentle. I've done it with all of my kids. So I'm really excited to help guide Scarlett to become a strong sleeper. It is a learned skill. And so I will be back talking about that in the next few weeks. It's also my 33rd birthday coming up on the 16th of July. This episode might be out maybe after. But yeah, I'm excited for this next year and just to have my family completed and getting to celebrate my birthday with them. It's funny, like, I feel like once you have kids, your birthdays are no longer about you. Like, I love birthdays because I get to experience them with my kids and see how excited they get for their parents' birthdays, especially at this age. So I love every single one of you. I appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you so much for being a part of the Milk community. As always, DM me with any questions, anything you want to hear about on the podcast, any special guest you want to hear from. And I'll talk to you next week.